30 Times People Found A Way To Get Revenge On A Terrible Ex

To get a better understanding of these actions and the feelings that caused them, we contacted psychotherapist, writer, and consultant, Kaytee Gillis.

"Stories of people getting revenge for feeling betrayed or wronged in relationships fill movie scripts, and the behaviors are even encouraged and laughed at in many social groups," Gillis, who has a deep passion for helping survivors of traumatic relationships — whether familial or romantic — told Bored Panda.

"One famous song even boasts lyrics about smashing headlights and slicing someone's tires for cheating. Although music is an expressive art form [and it is] most likely not a true story, it shines a light on behaviors that many excuse. And while it might be normal to want to get revenge over being wronged, actually taking action to do that can quickly turn into unhealthy behaviors, or even abuse."

Gillis, the author of It's Not "High Conflict" It's Post-Separation Abuse, thinks that being hurt after the ending of a relationship is normal.

"If the person wronged you somehow, such as breaking your heart, ghosting you or cheating, it can [even] feel devastating," she said.

"But when pain and anger turn into behaviors that put another person's safety or livelihood at risk, this is abusive and is never a good way to cope with the pain of a breakup."

The psychotherapist said that destroying property, spreading rumors as an attempt to harm or discredit someone, keeping the children away from them, or boasting about getting them fired from their job are all common ways that people try to get revenge on an ex.

"However, this form of revenge is what mental health clinicians refer to as post-separation abuse, or abuse that takes place after a relationship ends. Revenge is abusive, and putting someone's safety at risk is never okay, and it is never funny," Gillis emphasized.

Knowing how to break up could possibly remedy some of the emotions that lead to the extreme lengths that Gillis has mentioned. And while it's not easy for anyone to be good at it, teens are particularly bad at ending things, and growing up online has made it worse.

Though most teens think the best way to break up is in person, 37 percent of them consider a text breakup at least moderately acceptable and 1 in 4 thinks it's okay to do the job by simply changing your social media status to "single."

That's according to a Pew Research Center report that came out in 2015, five years before the pandemic sent everyone's social lives, and so much else, even further into cyberspace.

"If you feel you must get revenge, it is important to take time and self-reflect on why this is," Gillis said. "Is it to 'get back at' someone who wronged you?"

"Recognize that these feelings themselves are not abnormal, and have compassion for the part of you that feels wronged, but do not take action."

"It is okay, and even encouraged, to vent about that person to your friends, family, and support system. Write about them in your journal. But do not post publicly on social media, as this will make you look immature and vindictive."

"And, as always, remember that any acts of violence or abuse are illegal, and could result in fines, imprisonment, and will obviously make you look vindictive and abusive. Instead, seek mental health support to help you through this time if you feel that you are going to take action to harm someone out of revenge," the psychotherapist said.