Despite its toxicity, social media can still be a fun way to bring people together. Microblogging sites, for example, allow users to evoke different emotions and use them as a medium to poke fun at the mundaneity of life.
Just look at these examples from The Funny Introvert Instagram account. Creator Kevin Flynn has created an online community of 3 million people (and counting), virtually bonding over wisecracks about self-checkout machines, pre-drinking rituals, and misadventures at the dentist’s office.
As always, we’ve curated our favorites, which we hope you'll enjoy.
This post may include affiliate links.
YA GONNA NEED SOME OINTMENT FOR THAT BURN SONNY that was actually amazing, 10/10 XD
It's not as bad as it looks. They got the warehouse from Temu so it's really 24" on a side.
Burn it to the ground. Anyone who buys this junk is adding to our planet's demise. Think before you randomly buy this stuff. If the price is too good to be true, believe that future generations will be picking up the tab for your foolishness.
Well then, make the US give more for disabilities. I can barely afford Temu.
Load More Replies...Via Phantom Phoenix: https://www.change.org/p/the-walt-disney-company-macaulay-culkin-must-be-cast-as-9-year-old-kevin-mccallister-in-disney-s-home-alone-remake
Load More Replies...https://www.change.org/p/the-walt-disney-company-macaulay-culkin-must-be-cast-as-9-year-old-kevin-mccallister-in-disney-s-home-alone-remake
I have never seen Home Alone (I am 50), but I will be the first in line for this one!!!
You should absolutely see it! And the other ones too! The kid's a genius!
Load More Replies...It wouldn't be *that* different to high school movies in the 80s where schoolkids were played by thirty year olds and we are all supposed to believe that it was realistic. It's a trope: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DawsonCasting
Does nobody even know that we don't like remakes? I mean, enough! Also, hello, my dearest, lovely, wonderful friends, I'm new to Bored Panda, so it's nice to meet you all!!!
Social media is no longer the “fun-only" platform it was when it first began. To paint a clearer picture of how badly it went downhill, a 2024 report by the World Health Organization revealed that 1 in 10 adolescents exhibited signs of “problematic social media behavior,” including an inability to control their use.
However, it is still a medium that brings people together, especially among young people. As psychologist and Brown University professor Dr. Jacqueline Nesi points out, it’s a way for teenagers to explore their identities, which she deems an “important task of the adolescent years.”
I was told I could move back in if I got my 50 year old brother to move out🙄
Load More Replies...The fact that minimum wage salaries have NOT significantly increased since 1970 when adjusted for inflation, proves we are worse off today than we were 55 yrs ago. The federal minimum wage in 2024 is $7.25 per hour, which means the 1970 equivalent would be $13.05 in 2024 dollars.
Inflation always outpaces MW. Raising MW hurts everyone and helps no one, especially the MW worker. I now make more than I ever have in my life and yet have far less left in the end than I did when MW was $3.35. While Federal MW is $7.35, states have elected to go above and beyond, thereby making things even worse. Roll wages and prices back 65 years and freeze them, that is what need to be done.
Load More Replies...It's a joke about living in your parents' basement, so upstairs would be the main floor of the house.
Load More Replies...it was easier to build wealth before doordash and online betting was a thing
wealth building was easier before door dash and online betting became a thing
Considering that my mom lives with me, my hubby and I are doing much better than our parents.
No idea, we all seem to have did/do just fine with smart savings plans doing a lot of work ourselves with sewing ( clothes) and housing ( made the mortage payments easily), grew veg, still went out socially or dining, perhaps fewer vacations than most, but in all had a productive, debt free, busy and adventurous lives... There you go, 9/10 and not prisoners of the selling markets..any market! Today, with everything online and electronics controlling most, a different era altogether.
Doesn’t work, I just start thinking about switching to another station
Load More Replies...Apparently they not only exist, they're being used by the present occupants of the White House.
I do. I feel ashamed that I am forced to share this beautiful planet overflowing with trash on legs.
Those who should feel shame and those who do feel shame are, sadly, not the same people
I feel shame for being part of the human species, the most arrogant, yet stupid, and destructive species on what once was a planet of beauty.
Shame has always had a social value. It's a shame it's now considered shameful to feel shame.
Shame for being me? This was tryd for long enough and almost sucseded.
Memes are another tool that unites people online. These well-crafted images succinctly express a statement that many people typically relate to, and you may see some of them on this list.
A Penn State study concluded that memes can influence one's sense of belonging, community, and attitude toward a community.
To fully appreciate a stout or ale, it must be served at 55-60°F (12-16°C), whereas pilsners and lagers should be served cold. And mass-produced American beers should be poured down the drain.
Load More Replies...British food is like the British view of the horizon - grey and limited.
... and containing a small but obnoxious bit of France
Load More Replies...This is such a sefl own for the rest of the world...we colonised three quarters of the Earth and brought back all the food. My brothers and sisters in society, you made our food.
You had all the ingredients and spices in the world to choose from and you picked grey, brown and bland.
Load More Replies...UK absolutely nails root vegetables. Seriously. Bacon and sausage, missed the how to video. I lost 15 pounds on a 21 day holiday. I survived on awesome bread and vegetables. And Guinness. Thanks guys. And thank you for all the fish. You ROCK fish.
Nothing whatsoever wrong with beans. Especially when placed upon toast. And a little bit of grated cheddar on top.
Load More Replies...Thanks to the steady stream of immigrants bringing their culinary talents with them, British food has gotten so much better. Some of it even has flavor. But I'll continue to think their beans in tomato-based sauce is an abomination. Boston baked beans forever!!!
Peanut better and grape jam !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Load More Replies...Pfft no it it’s not !! Us brits well those of us as can actually cook real food from scratch it’s lush !!
One reason I live in the Washington DC area is because you don't want to survive a first strike.
Used to live three miles from a Nuclear power plant, all good, if it goes up, I'm not going to know much about it!
Load More Replies...I plan to die. Swiftly. I live near LA so I am likely toast, and early toast at that but I have zero plans of being all I Am the Road Warrior if they forget to destroy one of our biggest port cities first. Nope. I am going to eat a cheesecake and wait for the Grim Reaper armed with a can of whipped cream to top the cake, y’all can reenact all the Day After struggle for survival without me, I am going to have a wrap party and join the Choir Invisible.
Pretty much my plan, except that I will add three bottles of Veuve Cliquot
Load More Replies...If nukes get lobbed around, I plan to erect a ladder, climb onto the roof, and await the blast. I watched "Threads" when it was first broadcast, when I was a child (!), that movie messed me up enough that I'm pretty sure I don't want to be around in the after.
I plan to throw my shoe at the TV when POTUS comes on and says we're winning and this was the plan all along.
I told a friend in 2002 that I honestly couldn't wait for the s.hit to hit the fan so that people will drop the facade and become who they really are.
Or try to re-enact Dr. Strangelove as Slim Pickens.
Load More Replies...I live in San DIego: if I'm not dead in the first 5 minutes then I'll worry about it. I do have water and dog food stored up though for the two dogs.
Good advice for Seattle drivers. Schools cancel classes here when it's 1/2" of snow and below freezing temperature
I use to live in a southern state and when it did snow, it's like the whole state shuts down. It snowed maybe an inch and people were freaking out, stores, factories, everything shut down. And, OMG, they DO NOT know how to drive in snow.
Load More Replies...You need that info for San Diego: if its a decent rain the accident rate goes up to 5 to 10 x normal (oil on roads in rain makes it slick).
Living in the southern U.S. where snow/ice is rarely an issue, we came upon a car in the neighborhood that had skidded off the road and was stuck. The driver kept revving the engine, spinning the tires, going nowhere. We asked if he needed help. He said, "Nah, I'm good. You just need to burn dat ice!" 🙄
Fun facts: you can set your tires on fire doing that. The hotter they get, the less they grip ice. Gotta learn to rock that sucker.
Load More Replies...Utterly useless. If there are biscuits, tea, and gravy in the back of the car then we're not going *anywhere* until that's dealt with. Now where did I put the carton cups and the paper towels to mop up the gravy drips?
That's the middle of North Carolina. They don't get much snow there so people freak out over a dusting.
Getting stuck at the top of a very steep street in a standard during inclement weather is a major b.itch, too. The only 'good' that comes out of that scenario is to teach certain people not to TAILGATE.
Agreed, steep slopes and snow only go together when you're wearing skis. Otherwise, avoid ...
Load More Replies...Ahh this is for the uk lol cos soon as there’s one flake of snow the whole country ligit STOPS N PANICS 😂 n yup im in the uk lol cos soon, n old enough to recall the real winters n proper snow not the slush we get now ! But the world still seems to grind to a halt 🤷♀️
This, it needs to be shown on every weather channel, and news station in northern states.... Non-snow drivers, drives me nuts!
Brilliant for drivers in the UK where the snow, which falls once every three years, gets to a whopping 1" deep.
Of course, we cannot ignore the potential dangers that social media use brings, and it’s not the obvious ones that many would likely be aware of. Clinical psychologist Dr. Mary Ann McCabe views these social platforms as echo chambers due to the algorithms that present the same type of content.
There’s also underlying racism within these sites through “filter biases,” where most “beauty filters” on platforms like Instagram and Snapchat are geared towards appealing to paler skin tones.
This is how it's SUPPOSED to be done. The Olympics are for amateurs. It's in the original charter.
Load More Replies...I reckon I could do well on the balance beam from years of working from ladders, (as long as the routine was standing still in one spot). Swimming? I'm a stone.. :-)
Blue Origin of flying phallus fame has a crew for the space race.
If they had chosen me and not given me the right to refuse, I would have walked in with a coffee in my hand, sat on the balance beam, and held a sign that said "I don't want to be here."
I would have sat on the balance beam and promptly fell off the other side.
Load More Replies...Our local hospital, you can pay at their parking garage if you want. But at the ER, they offer free valet parking. Seriously, this complex is so big it probably has two zip codes all to itself.
That's pretty handy. There's nothing like "I feel like death and need to go to the ER'" plus "oh no, how does the parking system here work??". I left the ER at 3 am and spent 20 minutes trying to figure out where the parking garage exit was...
Load More Replies...And can the parking lot not be a 1/4 of a mile away from the emergency room entrance?
That would mean tearing down the entire complex and starting over.
Load More Replies...I'm still paying off the loan to attend my university. So when each year the alumni association writes and asks for donations, that letter goes straight into the recycling.
For a while, our hospital asked to pay in advance. Hopefully they realised that we would have no idea how long we were going to have to wait to be seen, before someone told them.
This upset me the first time I hit, but parking lots are expensive, parking garages insanely so. Who are we expecting to pay for them?
The hospitals charging $1000 for a bag of saline and the universities charging $10,000 a semester, that's who.
Load More Replies...Here in uk it’s costs an arm n a leg to park at a hospital , and most of the time the pay n display machines don’t work 🤦♀️, we might get free free healthcare , ok so we pay for it via national insurance , but that’s is but the fees are awful !n for those of us as can’t actually walk that far there’s no choice , if we gotta go for tests etc then paying for it it is , n a taxi to it is £70 quid each way ! As my nearest hospital is 35 miles away the John Radcliffe in Whitney Oxford ,
People of all ages and genders have suggested that I go climb a tree.
Like the scene from Simpsons where Lisa will evacuate a dying earth and gets the hard choice of one parent. The man hasnt stopped talking when she says "Mum!"
I miss climbing trees. I'm 62 and still stomp in the puddles, though.
You n me both im only two yrs behind u to oh i love being out in the rain to , i live out in the sticks n it’s lush when it rains x
Load More Replies...Until 13 yrs ago id have climbed that tree lol , had been climbing trees on the farm since I was two n im now 60 , n the amount of times I have to shimmy up to get my stepson down lol was well I lost count 😂
Ultimately, it’s about maintaining a healthy relationship with social media and recognizing when it becomes problematic. This especially applies to pre-adolescent kids since research shows that excessive use may not be suitable for developing brains.
In addition, some problematic habits to watch out for include social media use that interferes with daily routines, choosing these platforms over in-person interactions, and lying to spend time online. These behaviors are similar to substance addiction and abuse.
I am reminded of the times my friends were really impressed with how "nice" I looked and "What are you all dressed-up for? What's the occasion?". My response, "Oh, it's laundry day".
I remember the day I dressed up, did my hair, and put on a full face of make-up for a job interview. My facial recognition did not recognize me. I had to use the password.
Load More Replies...When I started my last job, I made sure to go in sleepy and tired looking the first few weeks so they'd get used to me that way.
Never understood the girls who get up before their chaps to get the warpaint on. Let them see the reality and get used to it.
Load More Replies...We go into Morrison's every Wed for our top up groceries and to check their clearance bins lol. We went in on a Fri to pick up a bottle of wine to take to a friend's house and the cashier looks at me and says...no shìt...you look great tonight. Like, thanks? I mean I know I'm no prize, but dàmn woman....you could act like you're not surprised.
I've known this all my life. :D They say things like "You scrub up well!" :D
I can't imagine ever looking amazing ...acting out yep..amazing..nah
I always have mixed feelings when my problem stumps the expert. I feel vindicated for having given up and calling for help because it stumps the expert too, but I still want my problem fixed.
My college students get so excited when they stump me. Most often, it's not a topic I've researched thoroughly or something I simply can't remember that day, like my own middle name. I let them have it and then immediately research it to bring the answer back to the next class. There have been a handful of times over 15 years that I have to concede to what might be true but is not currently verifiable.
Load More Replies...There was a lady at one job who constantly had problems. Weird stuff, hard drive errors, memory errors. Whenever IT came by, no issues at all. So, they replaced her computer and it started having the exact same issues, but never for IT. To this day we're pretty sure she was projecting some kind of EMP field.
I hate it when I stump the IT guy... because then am I the beginning of other people having the same problem?!?! Did I make the problem?!?!
I've done this to our IT guy multiple times over the 16 years I've worked here. He's not entirely sure how I manage it.
. Once heard commentators pretty much saying that a tennis player in the Wimbledon finals played so badly that they didn't know why she even turned up.... Alright, if it's so easy to beat Navaratilova, off you go, show us all how it's done.
Watch some random sport I've never seen. Five minutes later, as I stick another Tortilla in my face, "Well he didn't complete a full Rachmaninov, half, split, dummy, splice, drop down, so how does he expect to win?"
Yeah I remember watching that, rubbish wasn't he (scarfing down another handful of Bombay mix)
Load More Replies...Random request for the universe: aren’t our TVs smart enough to let us choose whether we just want the skating/gymnastics with music, or also want the stupid commentators?
Best thing about the Paris Olympics was Gojira and Marina Viotti.
I don’t watch sport as such lol only showjumping n rugby , n I’ve noticed in showjumping ligit EVERY time the commentator says only two ore fences and it’s a clear round , the very next jump falls 😂😂it be like a curse , commentator shut the hell up till they cleared the last one already 😂
I know…I go wow terrific. Announcer. That will cost him 3 points 🙄
The Olympics is wasted on me. Like all elite athletes, they make things look so easy that it's difficult for me to understand what's really going on.
We’d also like to hear your opinions, dear readers. Which of these memes and posts were most relatable to you? Why do you think they established a connection? Share your thoughts in the comments!
I have full conversations with mine - they meow and I meow back, sprinkling in some English to make sure they don't get rusty with the language. 😸
When mine does that, I say "I know, little buddy, it's tough being a kitty." The other, I just look him in the eyes and say "What?!" Then he keeps yelling at me.
Cat and I mew at each other, but I have to mew "flat" because she gets visibly annoyed when I match her energy. Then again, maybe she's telling me to eff off and I'm just repeating it back? 🤷🏻♀️
Does anyone but me ever bump into your cat or have to move her when you don't want to bother the poor thing and then tell her your are sorry like she understands what you mean?
Every time they're on my lap and I have to get up, I apologize. And get a dirty look...
Load More Replies...Ahyep. If I had a nickel for every "I know" response to an animal's vocalization, I'd be able to afford someone to write my comments.
Yeah, logic doesn't work on crippling anxiety over past stupidity that only you remember. I've tried, but I just don't listen to myself. 🤪
I describe myself as having a rational brain and an irrational one, they are in constant battle with each other. If the rational wins then yay a win, if it's the irrational then yeah not so much!
Load More Replies...In 1998, I was on a bus and saw a girl in Lawrence, MA walking along on the sidewalk, she waved to someone who wasn't waving at her, so turned to move away and hit her face off the back of.a stop sign. She was effectively closelined and landed flat on her back in a puddle. The bus driver stopped and waited for her which was nice but the whole bus clapped when she got on.
This is so true. I was self conscious about my skin when I was younger, I had lots of breakouts. I had a friend say to me once when I was complaining about my skin, “nobody is noticing your pimple. They are too busy worrying out whether anyone is noticing theirs!” And that really helped me realize no one gives a hoot. Haha
Pretty true. I don’t really notice or care about others skin issues so I assume no one or few notices or cares about mine. Same with embarrassing moments. I don’t remember many of mine and fewer of others embarrassing moments. If by odd chance you find someone that does act like a jerk and tries to embarrass another for something, it would be them that I’d remember and it would be them that should be embarrassed.
Load More Replies...My Mom tried this on me. This won't work for everyone. Because some people are known for being weird. People DO remember certain types of embarrassing things. I am autistic. People DO remember embarrassing things I've done and said.
Who is the harsher judge do you think? Do you think it's you or the other people? Just curious as most people tend to be harsher on themselves than others would be. I must admit it does comfort me to think that other people will also have their own things they cringe about, and probably care far more about that then about mine! 😕😃
Load More Replies...If only I had seen this as a child. It would have saved me years of agony.
I KNOW I could. I'm a 6'1" jaded cynic with severe depression and a massive case of pessimism - I could break that laughing weirdo in under a week. 🤣
Nah. His incessive attempt to convert you to Scientology will have you ready to jump ship with in an hour.
Load More Replies...I think it's funny a science fiction writer told a rocket scientist (Jack Parsons) that the easiest way to become wealthy is to start your own religion then proceeded to do just that.People still bought into it and it worked.
Worrying. When the origin of your religion is not lost in the mists of time, but is recent, documented and anyone who can read can see that the author made it up on purpose. I just give up on humanity at that point.
Load More Replies...Oh definately. Cults work by convincing you " they get you and you belong". Hahaha.
Load More Replies...Challenge accepted!! I’d do his head in , n I’m an eternal optimist lol ! but oo I’d have fun with him , I’m also the queen of sarcasm, but most of the time u can’t tell lol n that winds people right up heheh oh n being an empath , I would be able to feel what he’s feeling now that would freak him out 😂so yup challenge accepted !
I dunno if I should be more pleased or p*ssed off that most bouncers these days take one look at me and wave me through..I’m like dude do I really look that old? 🤦🏻♀️
In California USA everyone, regardless of age, has to show ID when going to a club. It's actually illegal to serve anyone alcohol without an ID.
Load More Replies...I made a vow years ago to never be happy about socks for Christmas. Then I had children. Now I pray for socks for Christmas.
One can only get a certain amount of macaroni necklaces and christmas ornaments made with satsuma peels until socks are a welcomed present. 😄
Load More Replies...Before the man across the hall was moved into asst. living, I'd check in on him to make sure he was alright. His sister appreciated my efforts and left me a gift bag that included the bestest wool socks I've ever had.
Thank you for helping. I hope, when I'm sicker and mums gone, that someone will be kind to me and help.
Load More Replies...I would have been admitted at 6 years old because that is when my passion and collecting of the started. I am sixty-one now have about 500 or so. Most on display, but I have about 50 that I keep in rotation.
OMG. I read this comment, and moved on. Then three posts later I got it and laughed my a*s off
Load More Replies...Stopped at a Chinese restaurant for a bite and the staff looked at me as if I was asking them to do a tune-up on my car. Found out later that no one actually eats there, but they always have customers.
I asked our Chinese all you can eat people, if they eat their own food. They said, no, we don't like that s.hit.
Load More Replies...I think my primary care provider is a nurse practitioner. Or a physician's assistant. One of the two.
When my Crohn's symptoms first started, the doc at urgent care asked me that, and when I said "none," she asked me when was the last time I had a physical and I just cackled for like a solid 30 seconds.
I do! I don't recommend the way of doing it though 😕. Fully disabled and fortunate that I got on disability before trump
Load More Replies...Even with essentially all-inclusive health coverage, I wouldn't recognize my primary care doctor in a line up. In the last 5 years, I've only seen him once for the meet 'n greet, and I now use an online portal to cover health issues or I can go in to be seen by his Nurse Practitioner.
Which ever ones available, or I just give the surgery name as I haven’t seen my actual doctor in like 6 yrs it’s who ever is on shift n u can’t get an appointment with here in uk
I hate to admit it, but i did this when a was a waitress in college! 😂 made good money!
People whom use pity for gain are miserably inadequate, of very low standard and gross.
Load More Replies...When I was about 16, I had this gal literally say to me. "You need to learn how to be more scamming". I was shocked and disgusted. Through out my life, I have had more females tell me this very thing, including using s.ex to get what you want. To this day, I have zero female friends because of gals like the one that everyone is applauding for her deception and scam. I've never been handed anything and I have struggled on my own my entire life. There is a certain beauty in actually earning an honest living and maintaining your keep without lying, scamming and using s.ex. Believe me, I have had tons of males try to 'buy' me. Women cry for equal rights and then turn around and do the dumbest, self-destructive acts. This is why men get paid more, because the lazy gals expect to be paid for. Beauty fades; stupid is forever.
Load More Replies...I used to work in hospitality from age 16 , till 13 yrs ago , n I would NEVER have stopped this low ! neither would my now 24 yr old daughter who’s worked in our village pub a busy one , since she was 16 , this is rude and if I had an employee pull this trick when working for me it would have been her last shift , but then in the uk ! they pay proper wages here. Tip are just a nice bonus ,
Not to generalize, but... because boys are dorky, confused, and weird? Source: my confused brother, weird nephew, and dorky 84-year-old father. 😂
Load More Replies...What is so interesting about his butt that an octopus would WANT to go in there?
It's *his* butt and he's just becoming body-aware.
Load More Replies...In the Amazon river, and other nearby rivers. Have this little fish (I forgot what it's called.), that can swim up a males p***s.
Octopuses can fit anywhere that their beak can fit. It might really hurt if it goes in your butt
Now everything's cool /She's a part of the band / And my Monster Mash / Is the hit of the land!
None of us have heard the actual song Monster Mash. The song we know with that name is actually a song about the Monster Mash. Same thing with Jail House Rock.
But the Monster Mash used to be the Transylvanian Twist, and you might have heard that . . .
Load More Replies...Yes but I think she got the better side! Too bad you can't remix her crying
No, go ahead and stare, make comments while shielding your mouth, snigger, but learn the lessons that we are learning, and don't do that to your own people.
...as we relive the mistakes made many years ago and expect different results.
Load More Replies...I would agree with you, but your new rulers are juggling hand-grenades and we're all in the lift with you.
...and these so-called new rulers (I prefer the term colossal a$$hat$) have been drinking heavily and their hand eye coordination was far far from acceptable when they were stone sober, fifteen drinks ago. Only a matter of time before...oops.
Load More Replies...But your s**t effects us all, we just don't have anything to say, when you choose to throw us all under the bus.
Agreed. US here. The MAGAt cult is a bane on humanity. Their isolationist/racist/f*****t/antivaxx/anti-science/misogynist policies daily vomited out by that orange Cheeto are going to cause immense harm across the entire planet. All because 23% of Americans are complete idiots.
Load More Replies...We'll stop staring when your family stops flying a crop-sprayer full of manure over our homes and gardens with the sprinklers on full.
Considering what the current administration is doing with tariffs and trade wars, not to mention real wars, it does concern a lot of the world.
We have not yet decided whether we are watching a mean bully of a husband abusing his wife and children, while threatening onlookers to be respectful and mind their own business or just a silly familie feud where the husband is really embarrassing himself with everyone knowing but he himself. So we keep watching with both a sense of disgust and excitement.
Nope. Can't do. The U.S. neighbour is similar to a house located right next door to us, with their windows open. We can't help but notice everything they do, and they leave nothing to the imagination.
With pleasure! If I have to see that ooompa Loompa on the tele anymore I’m gonna scream ! I’m in uk n that lunatic makes oh pm that I did NOT vote for like useful !
Self checkout or with a cashier why am I always behind someone who seems shocked that they have to pay? Then the fumbling to find and open their wallet like they’ve never been in a store before.
Like when the person in the car ahead of you in the drive-thru line appears to be negotiating a mortgage?
If it's me, I'm demanding an unreasonable 2 sauces for my 10 piece McNuggets.
Load More Replies...At BJ's one time the self checkout kept beeping and the person had to keep coming over to fix something. After the fifth time I turned to everyone behind me and said "I'm sorry everyone; I'm done" and walked out leaving $300 worth of food half checked out. I wish I could say everybody applauded, but nobody did...
Load More Replies...At the cashier: Just a minute, sweetie, let me find my checkbook.
At the local C-store: Never tell me again cards are faster and easier than cash, as I stand behind the guy who is entering his PIN, his loyalty card,, re-enters, approves. Takes like 3 minutes. I walk up, hand them my 5 bucks swipe my loyalty card, collect my change, walk away in 1.5 min.
While she is opening the drawer counting out your change and then counting it back to you I touch my card to the machine, it beeps and I am out of there n 10 seconds tops
Load More Replies...Ahh the beauty of being housebound hehe in the sticks NO SHOPS ! bliss online shopping only no people bar a driver 😂
She probably forgot that the other person was on break at first then realized she had to do it herself
Random funny does not require a reasonable explanation.
Load More Replies...It's it just me, but my brain went "AND ONE GIANT M&M FOR BLIZZARD KIND!"
*me who works in a fast food restaurant* I FEEL SEEN... although honestly most of the time its just because its easier to go do it myself then telling someone, waiting the 2 minutes for them to finish their task or do it, and then getting it handed back to me and then to the customer... if you can do it and there's nothing else you need to do, then WHY NOT?
I loved their Coffee Ice Cream Blizzard. Fortunately, I don't live anywhere near a Dairy Queen anymore.
Maybe if you put in an honest effort you could relax proud of yourself.
25c! Ours are a gold coin ($1 or $2) in Australia (forgetting the fact we don't even have a 25c coin). In all honesty, it is frustrating that my town has just brought this system in because I always forget a coin and try and fit everything into a basket. Plus, there are still just as many discarded trolleys left on the sides of the road.
The tokens you get from Aldi have a clip so you can clip them onto your keyring. I find this has greatly reduced trolleys being discarded everywhere
Load More Replies...Unrelated, other than it’s Aldi and a bargain, but got a 2kg bag of potato’s from there for 7p yesterday. Don’t think I’ve ever had a bargain like that before.
I managed to pick up a kilo of grated cheddar at Morrisons for 59 pence a few years back and it still gives me a mental bo ner thinking about it, even now lol.
Load More Replies...We have an Aldi quarter. It stays in the car. My wife piles so much c**p in that little spot that she's probably forgotten it's there.
You don't pay, it's a deposit. You get it back when you bring the trolley back. The chain from the trolley in front pushes the coin in your trolley out.
Load More Replies...I live near a Dollar General store. For the life of me, I can't understand why people steal their carts, and leave them behind my apartment building! There's three of them, and a Kroger mini cart. They're excellent for hanging out laundry though!
Some day we are all going to wake up with a 3rd eye due to the powder cheese they put in the box. What the heck is that? Does this deter me, NOPE...I'm going to wake up with a 3rd eye and I'm ok with that.
Load More Replies...Depressed??? I LOVE dressing up macaroni & cheese!!! Depending on what my taste buds want, I'll add peas, corn, broccoli, Little Smokies, tuna, the list goes on. It's white-people-soul-food!!!
Love mac n cheese but ONLY HOME MADE processed c**p is vile n banned in this house lol
My grandsons and daughter love Mac and Cheese, but hubby and I won't touch it. It reminds us of when we were just starting out, and that's all we could afford.
I used to make it once upon a time .. tasty junk, easy to assemble..like those pots of instant noodles meals ..what super junk that is..
Probably one of those times you weren't listening to an elder
Load More Replies...But make sure you don’t drink too much…. I’m sure liver coming up would be especially rank!
It's called 'fiction writing' but it takes a lot of imagination to get even a little food ... sigh ...
Load More Replies...I don't think anybody else could handle the weird s**t that my imagination comes up with just to mess with me.
Is it weird these seem like perfectly normal nicknames in Australia? Especially the last three.
We call my dog "The Nard Stomper". She likes to jump on my nards when I'm napping
Load More Replies...Hahaha my name is Elizabeth and I have never even noticed “Zabe” in my name. That c*****d me up! My son’s name is Gabe and we could be Zabe and Gabe! He’s 7 and gonna love this.
lol wow censored my word. It was c r a c k e d lol this censorship is wild
Load More Replies...There was a Jennifer in my band class whose nickname was "Niff".
I knew a Jennifer who wouldn't answer to Jen but would to Ifer
Load More Replies...Sounds like characters from a romantasy book named "Court of X and Y"
Zabe encountered herself between the charming smile of Nard and the ruthless attractive of Rando
Load More Replies...Aha? 😁 And what would mine be? I could be Oha!
Load More Replies...Mine, too, only it's sitting there, giggling to itself and scaring away any potential teammates coming to let it know what's going on.
I remember a story about a similarly enfogged game where someone shouted "does anyone know where the ball is" only to have one of the goalkeepers shut back "yes, I'm sitting on it" - only to realise his mistake ...
No, he has two brain cells, but unfortunately, they are arguing with each other.
If you woke me up at 5 AM and told be the house was on fire, I would simply lay there and die
LOL rookies. No matter when I lie down I awaken at 3am sharp every day. This is not voluntary. I have no idea why this is happening but for at least 5 years, 3am, on.the.dot. I wake up and think no, I'm not doing it today, I'm staying in bed, lie there for what seems hours. "Alexa, what time is it?" 3am Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge I have come to the only reasonable explanation is this. That must be when the experiments are over and the aliens tuck me back in. lol IDK
Or you're waking up at the time a previous occupant of your home m******d their whole family. Like the Amityville Horror. You're welcome.
Load More Replies...I leave for work at 5:30. It's so hard leaving a warm kitty in bed :(
If I wake up early and have to p**s, I do it or else I can't fall back asleep. Sleep overrides laziness.
For several years in the '90s, I was up by 3:30 M-F (had to get ready and get my babies up, fed, & dressed), but exercise was definitely not on my mind. Not even in the same ZIP code.
I was in California during the 6.0 Northridge quake, at the house of my GF's. Slept through the whole thing, woke up to her and her parents in the room, amazed that I was still asleep. I asked if the earthquake was over, and when I was told yes, covered my head with a pillow to block them out and went back to sleep
I get up at 5 so that, in the winter, there is still daylight after work for my daily walks with my wife and pups.
Seems like a nice enough kid, but he reminds me of an Italian greyhound because he seems so frail and always needs a sweater to fight off chills.
what is your name for the shadow of a mouse in the second moon? (what . . . are you a moron . . . we don't name s**t like that)
I worked in an office once where we created an imaginary work mate to blame things on. Actually had a client who came into our office at times ask why she’d never met her…
I've found that, when an attack starts, I get something to drink, and sip on it slowly. My throat starts to open up, and it ends. My daughter, used to get them really bad.
Hopefully not..ever..I am an asthmatic too!!It's the breathing thing that one aims for.
Nah, it's an allergic reaction to people. Don't put the blame on yourself when there are so many others you can blame.
I think most of America are allergic to themselves... sadly :( I wanna hang out with people without having them go crazy... thankfully I can with some people
Excellent distinction, realising the potential to affect everyone's future
An arrow might have your name on it, but a Fireball is addressed "To whom it may concern" ;-)
1) Read; 2) Watch TV and Movies; 3) Listen to music; 4) Build electronic kits; 5) Fly model rockets; 6) Connect to the outside world via the Internet; 7) Volunteer at the Library or the Pet Shelter; 8) Write short stories or novels; 9) Take online courses; 10) Crafting; 11) Learn basic automotive maintenance; 12) Learn basic household skills (cooking, cleaning, etc.) Our family farm was in the middle of bumfark nowhere, the nearest house was over a mile away. I made do. You're only as limited as the extent of your own mind.
Bill, I admire your list of activities, but it's fun bouncing your ideas off other people's minds too. There are plenty of people out there just like you - and they need company ...
Load More Replies...Small towns have interesting places to visit that you won't get in the big cities: The Dump, go there to claim stuff you want, or watch others discard their stuff The Dairy Queen/Frosty Freeze/similar frozen dessert drive-in that's been at that same location atleast 50 years. You get your item, then sit out in the parking lot watching other people eating their items, or cars driving by Driving down road to/from home, and when another car passes going the opposite way, wave. Or just raise 2 fingers off the steering wheel. You don't need to know them, it doesn't matter, you always wave. Reading the town newspaper to see how many cows or horses escaped their fences this week. Going mushroom picking so you can make some cash from gourmet mushroom eaters, but you only go with trusted friends, because you don't want anybody finding your good spots
How do you have "drive around this town" so many times and "let the cops chase us around" not even once?
-Stay at home on my own -Stay at home on my own -Go to nearby town that is smaller because the supermarket doesn't require coins for trolleys -Stay at home on my own
Edit: Drive around - drunk. As someone who grew up in a small town I can definitively state that they do it while drinking, and they get people killed. 40 years old and I know 12 different kids who were killed in SEPARATE drunk driving accidents in the same shithole small town.
When you live in a landlocked country with a dictator in power and you manage to flee to Italy, 45 minutes from the ligurian sea, buy an apartment for the price you would have paid in your home country for a f*****g garage in a forgotten village and you drive down the serpentine road with your wife, lie on a collapsable sunbed you carry with you, open a cheap but amazing frizzante, hear the sea, look at the wawes - now that is in top 10 human experiences. And this is our reality now.
There is something calming about the relatability. I was there for a moment.
I don't wanna sound like a grouch, but as someone who hates summer, sun and swimming and isn't too crazy about Italian food... 😆
I am retired. I swim laps every day. I feel like that after every swim!
N.B. It is also perfectly acceptable to do this in France, Spain, Portugal, Greece...
nah, least fave is sunburned so bad that your lips peel off 3 days later...and you have to sit on the edge of the chair because everything but you butt is too burned to touch. Guam...1981
Any show where the main characters all look so similar is difficult for me. Especially those teen ones where the main guy is dark haired and brooding, as opposed to the second male who is dark haired and brooding.
I thought that second guy was more brooding and dark-haired ?
Load More Replies...I absolutely love Brandon Sanderson's books, but I'll never forgive him for making me differentiate between Kaladin, Adolin, Dalinar, Renarin and Gavilar within like two chapters.
They all sound like names of over the counter medication. Indigestion? Take a renarin. Headache? Get your adolin.
Load More Replies...No wait - it's Hi my name's Larry, and this is Darryl and this is my other brother Darryl
this is why books are good, authors have amazing character development and wont give the same characters the same name :D
I did struggle reading Lord of the Rings remembering who was who out of Arwen, Eomer and Eowen. Eventually cottoned on to "wen" related to "wench" and they were the women - not PC but it helped. It's a long book.
Sorry, this made my last brain cell go to Vegas and gamble all of it’s knowledge away 🫠
My dream last night, I was a teacher but it was a scifi where people had to be inside during a particular time every day or they died. Most of the dream was spent pulling kids inside the classroom to safety. As if being a teacher wasn't bad enough in real life.
Mine us " back at school and cant find locker or cant remember locker combination"
Load More Replies...I had a message in a dream a few nights ago. It seemed really important and I remembered it clearly when I awoke. It was this: "Wild animals don't get tooth decay."
I dream about effing something up in high school or college so often that I literally think, "Really?? This again?" in my dream.
For me it's always college. And I'm my current age. But they say I didn't really graduate so I have to come back. Even though I already have a Master's degree. And then I fail a class so they say I have to stay another year. I've had my teeth fall out too. And for some reason all the lights always burn out in my dreams. And my car won't stop. It's like my dreams are coming out of a textbook or something.
I’ve dreamed I’m driving a car from the back seat and it’s always a big 1970s four door sedan.
Load More Replies...Joke's on you, dreams. I don't worry about being naked anymore 'cause I'm an old Gen X slacker and don't care about much of anything now. Besides, it's fun to watch everyone around me claw their own eyes out like Oedipus so as to never witness the horror again.
Why do all my dreams regarding high school involve a locker combination I can't remember and being late for the class with the meanest teacher?
36-22-28.....still have the lock, 50 years later.
Load More Replies...Too often I dream I'm doing housework. I think I'd prefer the stress dream.
Try carbs, an electric blanket, and a 72hr blackout from news and social media. If you read, try The Hands of the Emperor by Katherine Goddard, otherwise, binge watch a favorite tv show. Denial is sometimes as good as it gets.
Don't forget to listen to music you loved as a teen. It will take your mind back to that wonderful era of discovering new cool music that you sat and listened to for hours.
Load More Replies...I’ve tried, they’re surprisingly reluctant to be carried.
Load More Replies...Well you would have to wouldn't you? If you don't know you exist then you know nothing of the shoes :) Don't worry. I'll remind you when I come round to borrow them :)
Load More Replies...Rather a Bottle in front of me than a Frontal Lobotomy.
Load More Replies...I spent the entire inauguration day binge watching The Mandalorian - no way was I even spending 1 second listening to that buffoon.
The modern young person of today! Going back 50 years was a different, free, obesity-free era with face-to-face language we understood..
This sounds like me as a kid. And by kid, I mean from teens well into adulthood.
We used to have a complete Chipotle ripoff near me called Chapati (if you're a local, about two blocks from the Cleveland Cinematheque, next to Mitchell's). Once I realized it was literally Indian Chipotle, this is EXACTLY what I ordered. It was transcendent.
I am the same, yet never been to the US even though most of my family lives there. Odd, isn't it? I have travelled elsewhere, as the US never appealed like Europe and other places and cultures.
THIS GUY GETS IT, why are we not doing this... I mean it probably costs a ton but WHY NOT
She might actually *have* a trust fund but I think it's also possible that she has superior self-respect also. "Noli illegitimi carborundum" ! It's only a valid insult if you can't handle it.
It's only a valid insult if it comes from somebody who's opinion matters to you.
Load More Replies...A job is probably terrific fun if you're financially set and you don't give a cràp if you're actions get you fired.
Not caring is very empowering, whatever the root of it
Load More Replies...In Finland they run a universal basic income project (on small scale, unfortunately). People were getting a regular, unconditional cash payment evert month. Some of the participants continued with their low end but high stress jobs (part-time) like customer service representative or cashier. They all reported that their stress level went significantly down, they had more time to socialize and money to do so. It led me to believe that the epidemics of depression and anxiety that is so prevalent in some countries, chiefly USA is caused by financial insecurities. In other words, it is capitalism baby. Everyone who needs it, deserves a 'trust fund' to live in dignity.
Back in my early 30s I had a decent job that paid for the house, car, etc. And yet I was working few nights a week in a grocery store for a minimum wage. Why? I never could make myself go to the gym, which I really needed for my desk job. Having a job that makes you handle sometimes hundreds of heavy boxes per shift gave me that needed mandated workout. And it's fun. And I really didn't care about rude customers, it's just tired people taking their steam on workers. Sometimes a smile would go a long way.
Anyone who uses the word "like" more than once in a paragraph, needs to go back to school and learn correct English.
I suspect that it's the words you use , rather than the way you say them, that give away your nationality. OK, old bean?
I went to a painting party at a pub last night. Enjoyed myself immensely. Got a bit loud, though no louder than anyone else. Was wearing my retirement tiara and large flamingo earrings. And I was driving so that was stone cold sober.
Auntriarch, that is exactly how I aspire to enjoy my not-actually-going-to-exist retirement. I am so happy you are enjoying yours. 🎉 😊
Load More Replies...As someone as lives in the uk lol I can assure you guys in USA WE DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT !!
Ok, this one actually makes me wish I drank. I'd love to see this happen.
They should all work together, the doctor and the coach, plus the team
I don't get this. Is this some kind of keeping up with the Joneses thing?
Fantasy football (and other fantasy sports) are a big thing for many people in the US.
Load More Replies..."You have to walk the plank!" "I tried that, but his leash kept falling off when we went to the park."
Alternative, probably inaccurate, story. Shivers is an archaic word for slivers of wood that would act like shrapnel when struck by a cannon ball.
Kind of like when Robert Newton said "Arrr" when playing Long John Silver in the old Disney Treasure Island movie. Pretty much set how Piratespeak worked ever since.
I am a 50 1/2 -year-old woman and I STILL have to deal with the masses expecting me to "Ooooo and Ahhhh" and drool and babble in baby talk over their c.unt runts simply because I have a uterus. No. Never has been me and NEVER will be. If I don't know you, s.crew you and your snotty kid. And hey, some of you that I DO know, s.crew you and your snotty kid!!!
I'd much rather see pictures of kittens. Babies are boring and look like potatoes.
I think grandma was dropping a little hint when she encouraged you to join the circus ...
Once tattoos and piercings became a fad and the norm I quit. Followers ruin EVERYTHING.
Children have to learn how to navigate an existential crisis from somewhere.
Nobody learns to 'navigate an existential crisis', the whole point is that it's un-navigable. But sufficiently intelligent kids can be rather entertaining when they start to question things they've been told are beyond questioning ...
Load More Replies...Second to last day of orchestra camp. It sucked cuz I play the cello so it's a hard way to sit with a pad
Load More Replies...Got mine in computer lab class in high school. Came to class a child left as a woman.
I did not know about this. Thank you :-D
Load More Replies...My sister doesn't have to pay for doctor's appointments because she has a healthcare card and we are in Australia. This is still her plan. She also encouraged her friend to be a lawyer so she could get free legal advice. Her eyes lit up when she heard our cousin was doing accounting!
Your sister will go far. Encourage her to start travelling immediately ...
Load More Replies...I really wish this was true. Unfortunately, it was debunked the last time it was posted here.
Usually where I live it's just the name for grandma/grandpa in their language. Most of my friends had an oma and opa or something similar. I do have a kid I teach that told me 'little nan' was picking him up and I asked if his other nan was 'big nan' and he was shocked I guessed that :)
Oops... my dad was known as "Gagum," because our nephew had called him that. (His wife was "Grams," but "Grammypants" to our youngest daughter.
Yesterday was especially bad, because all the people who would normally go on a Friday but couldn't because of the Good Friday public holiday were there along with the usual Saturday crowd.
... but just wait till you need the ER and find me there, running it..
...and, we just happen to be all out of pain meds, bandages, etc.
Load More Replies...As someone "in the industry", no athlete is drinking Gatorade. Way too much sugar. Most are pretty crazy about what they eat/drink
I'll add a third option: sick and home from school. Yellow Gatorade FTW.
Irn-Bru is the same, although following recent closure to the blast furnaces, it's no longer "Made in Scotland , from girders" but "Made somewhere in Glasgow, from syrup, tap water and carbon dioxide".
This is written by someone who clearly has never lifted a finger and broken a sweat.
Little Caesars founder was an good man. Do not make fun of the little Caesars.
Also watch for the absence of precise names ... just in case they used the wrong one ...
Was last year when the Matildas did really well at the world cup? That seemed to drag on for ages.
I teach after school care. In winter I have kids worrying that their parents have forgotten them because it's dark which means it must be late.
I come from Iceland and the sun never goes down in the summer and my daughter would never believe me that she had to go to sleep when the sun was still up. A battle every summer 😅
Load More Replies...It's a displacement activity - he's probably autistic and doesn't know how to get on with people, so he learnt how to run a really good fire. Do not mock the autistics, we make the world rock !
You're thinking of 1996...I was there. It was a white long sleeve under a black Nine Inch Nails short sleeve. We were wearing skater flares and had a keychain that was so long it smacked you in the face when you ran...in your DC's that you'd folded up a sock and stuck under the tounge to get the puffiest tounge...with inch wide laces. Houses cost £3.78p.
And if you do it in 2024/5 from November- March you live in Michigan.
Move out of the states. Here where I live it's fireworks or car. Never even thought of gun.
I know it's a randomly-chosen stock photo, but I can't unsee the gothic arch shutters on the rectangular window. Especially since they're too small.
Me at home thinking "I can't tell if that was fireworks or cars backfiring" meanwhile someone is being quietly stabbed a few streets away...still glad it's unlikely to be gun shots
We say that all year round, here. Even though fireworks are only legal around July 4th, they go off all the time, and gun shots are even more common. It's awful! I hate it! :(
I grew up in Greenspoint a.k.a. Gunspoint during the City Under Siege era 80s-90s. We would say, "It's the fourth of July" every other day/night. The people from the neighbouring areas that had houses like the one above would venture into our neighbourhood to "slum it" and would officially get run off back to their gated communities scared sh.itless.
But.. If he rose on the 3rd day, after he died wouldn't that be Monday?
shhhh, don't you dare point out inconsistencies in christianity
Load More Replies...Early in my navy career there wasn’t much going on with the ship as it was summer and most people were on leave. My friend and I were called to our chiefs office and told that he can let one of us go but we had to give a good reason. My friend gave the usual excuses but I said I should be let go for psychological reasons because I actually wanted to stay. He chose me.
THAT remains to be seen; having said that - these were quite good. Red2-68055...204f2c.jpg
The funniest one was 50 “would you like to continue reading with premium?”
Is the amount shown correct since it is meagre for such a firm?(An amount nearly simply $56) a-6809932740de2.jpg
An amount of nearly $56? Is there a mistake in the figures like Million etc. a-680992dae69ed.jpg
Early in my navy career there wasn’t much going on with the ship as it was summer and most people were on leave. My friend and I were called to our chiefs office and told that he can let one of us go but we had to give a good reason. My friend gave the usual excuses but I said I should be let go for psychological reasons because I actually wanted to stay. He chose me.
THAT remains to be seen; having said that - these were quite good. Red2-68055...204f2c.jpg
The funniest one was 50 “would you like to continue reading with premium?”
Is the amount shown correct since it is meagre for such a firm?(An amount nearly simply $56) a-6809932740de2.jpg
An amount of nearly $56? Is there a mistake in the figures like Million etc. a-680992dae69ed.jpg
