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“I Refuse To Be Like My Mother”: Woman Shares 29 Things She Will No Longer Do Like Her Mother
They say that the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. But what if the apple doesn’t just fall nowhere near the tree, but does everything to roll in the opposite direction? Because the truth is not all kids want to be mirror images of their parents, and when they grow up, they often want to be nothing like their mom and dad.
Speaking of moms, there is a TikTok creator who runs her hugely popular channel “Not Like My Mother.” With a whopping 8.2 million total likes, the TikToker Meesh has won hearts just by sharing hilariously accurate and painfully relatable videos in a series with the same name–Not Like My Mother.
“Healing with humor & new habits,” the description of Meesh’s TikTok channel says, adding that it’s “100% satire” and “100% truth.” Scroll down to see how the creator does everything not to copy her mother in various situations and walks of life, which will surely ring a bell to many of you there!
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In order to find out what are the reasons why adult children don’t want to be like their parents, Bored Panda reached out to Emily Malamet, a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist from Paris Psychology Centre, who shared some very interesting insights.
Malamet told us that it can surely happen that certain adult children don’t want to behave like their parents. “It is possible that adult children had witnessed certain parental behaviors growing up that they didn’t appreciate or were harmful to their wellbeing or that of their family, and don’t want to recreate this in their own lives/or as future parents,” the clinical psychologist said.
An alternative, if you are not using the washing machine every day, is to have bucket of water, with some disinfectant in the water. When you use a cloth drop it into the water. When the bucket is full, or you're doing a load of laundry, add the rags. If you are using a front loading washing machine, put the rags into a laundry bag.
Moreover, certain individuals are afraid to be like their parents or engage in similar behaviors, Malamet said. “For some, early experiences with parental figures can leave emotional wounds, which are feelings which we were particularly sensitive to as children that may be easily triggered by others in the present.”
Malamet explained that it is important for these individuals to work on being sensitive to experiences they may be triggered by, what others do that can trigger these reactions, and let those close to them know about it. “This is implies being assertive and letting others know what they may need. By doing what they couldn’t do as a child, they can work on repairing these old emotional wounds.”
To be fair, there was a marketing push through the 70s and 80s as to how bad butter was for you and how much healthier it was to use 'plant oil' margarine.
When asked what are the reasons why some grown-up children decide to cut off their parents, Malamet said that there are many of them, but the most common reasons are (but are not limited to): “abuse and neglect during childhood, difference in opinions, having previously felt controlled by their parents, perceived lack of support, having been put in unsafe environments by their parents growing up, high expectations from their parents, mental health issues (being experienced by the adult child or their parent), traumatic events experienced with their parents growing up, parental divorce, or favoritism towards one child in the family,” the clinical psychologist concluded.
That's nice, but what if you need to make a note when you're upstairs, or in the garage, or on the other side of the house from where your notebook is? XD There's nothing wrong with using random scraps of paper to write down memos and notes, as long as you dispose of them accordingly once you don't need them any more.
Bleach has been proven to only lighten disperse mould spores not kill it, and is horrendous for the environment. Where I live, council cleaners are not allowed to use bleach, even if the customer provides it, for health and safety reasons. If you are worried about mould or germs, double-strength (cleaning) vinegar should be used, according to British scientific studies. Mould specific cleaners can be used if it is an established problem.
As the generations progress, it’s natural for adults to want to separate themselves from their parents. With the ever-changing world, it’s difficult for adults to stay connected with their parents' values and experiences.
Adults today are faced with a unique set of challenges that are vastly different from their parents’ experiences. This can make it difficult to relate to their parents, and it can also create a sense of disconnect when it comes to values and beliefs.
Just think of how much technology and the internet changed the way we communicate, learn, and work. Meanwhile, the job market has shifted, with many jobs that didn’t exist when their parents were young. This means that the methods of achieving success and finding fulfillment can be vastly different from what their parents experienced.
I cleaned my student tables with donated baby wipes. Same thing. Those wet soapy sponges look like they are cleaning but until you wipe the table after with a baby wipe you have no idea how dirty they still are. Art class. At the end of every class. An article I read of where kids get germs in school prompted this. It was a precovid article.
The desire for adults to separate themselves from their parents may be also driven by the idea of personal growth. Many adults want to create their own paths and avoid following in their parents’ footsteps. They don’t want to be limited by their parents’ expectations and beliefs, and they want to explore their own interests and passions.
Moreover, adults today may feel a sense of responsibility to make a difference in the world. They may feel a pressure to use their skills and resources to address the issues facing the world today, and this may lead them to create their own version of success.
A growing number of studies also show that adults today more often cut ties with their parents than ever before. A study in 1997 explored family relationships in later life and found that 7 percent of adult children had cut ties with their mother and 27 percent with their father. Meanwhile, in 2020, a study by sociologist Karl Pillemar showed that 1 in 4 Americans are estranged from their families—roughly 67 million people.
WHO SAID IT IS A GENDERED JOB??? Where did this woman come from where changing a f*****g lightbulb is a "gendered job"???
You have to remember she's comparing to her mother. I don't consider it to be a gendered job, and in fact I recently showed a daughter how to change both the front and rear bulbs on her car, but I know for a fact that my mother's mother would sit in the dark and wait for her husband to get home to change a bulb.
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Not a regular bulb like this, but those huge stick lights, I'm not paying for as a renter.
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??? I replace lightbulbs all by myself? Who am I gonna call? Really? Takes less than 5 minutes. I have a box where I have spares, I switched to a different type of lightbulbs so it is a rare occurrence and I save on my electric bill as a bonus.
Any one person changing a lightbulb must be smarter than a fifth grader then!
I mean if I waited for the lightbulbs in my hose to be changed by a male, I’d be sitting in the dark, since I live alone! Well, I do have three males cats, anyone want to teach one of them to do it? 🤣🤣
It’s not a gendered job. It IS a height job. I’m not that tall. Himself has 8 inches on me. He doesn’t need a ladder
It's only a gendered role in my house because we've vaulted ceilings and I'm very short :D
Gendered jobs can be fun, or, at the very least, enjoyable. I'm 68. I know things. In the early 1990s, my boss, a lady who was older than myself ---damn near 19 days and always will be(!), came in to deliver fruit & juices one afternoon. She left the groceries sat on the bar, pulled a stool into the waitress station, snatched a large wine glass off the rack and said, "Fill it." We sipped for awhile... watching. S**t, I'm sorry! You see there were three men -- 28, 37 & 43 years old -- standing on tables. Yep. Changing light bulbs. Eighteen ceiling fans. All held multiple bulbs. Nice Hair. Nice faces. Nice chests. Nice arms (all held up above their little heads!), NICE jeans(!), nice boots! She and I spent what was possibly our best happy hour together... for nearly 75 minutes! The first fellow who had come in hadn't wanted me to get hurt climbing on tables! Nice Southern boys! And, NO amount of cash can buy that memory! No torture device known can remove it! FU! It still keeps me warm and smiling on lonely nights! God bless each and every one of them. My little boys!
I think "you" are the one... only one I know... who considers this a gendered job. You're certainly the only one I know!
When I was a kid, we lived in a house with 10' ceilings. It took a ladder to change the light bulb. No lamps back then. So Dad orolder brothers usually were requested to do the task.
Some people call an electrician to change bulbs. Especially elderly with fluorescent lighting
You make me sick OP... imagine trying so hard to get attention that you write BS like this. Ofc it's not a gendered job, we all know that...
She is comparing herself to her mother. There were many women back in the day that considered this "maintenance" and this type of work was a "man's job"
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I wear a wallet chain! I never lose my wallet because it's clipped to my pants! Though I do have to remember to switch it to whichever pair of pants/shorts I'm wearing that day from the previous day's pants XD
Aaah the optimism in this... sure, when someone tells the same story you've heard a few times before, go on and listen it out. And don't interrupt someone who is having a monologue and making wrong assumtions along the way. And when they say they believe their hause is haunted and it should be burned down, believe it and encourage them... Point being: It's a nice concept but not good to use always.(Or maybe she means when people talk about certain subjects?)
Thank you! I hate that people still won't carry something to drink with them . Don't leave home without it.
Anyone else think the tree behind her was her hair sticking out? 😂
The Millennial urge to keep the boxes that our cell phones came in. I was born in '84 and I still have no idea why I do this. But, thanks to the Internet, I know I'm not alone.
Wow, she sounds very bitter! I don’t know how wealthy their family was when growing up, but hoarding can come from fear of running out of something or not being able to afford to replace it. Of course I’m sure all our parents do strange things, or say awful things, sometimes without meaning to, or absolutely meaning to! Maybe it sounds less spiteful watching it.
That's exactly what I was thinking! "Wow, this seems bitter." I imagine she had a difficult childhood, but this post seemed kind of excessive.
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What a horrible woman. My mum does most of these, because she grew it up dirt poor and the fear of being back in that position is hard to beat. Of course I dislike some of these too, but I understand why, rather than try to shame her in front of an audience!
I don't have children, but I WILL criticise my mother for not taking me to a doctor when I developed seizures, thank you very much! One doesn't have to be a hen to recognise a foul egg.
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I love this post and can totally relate to All of them. Her Mom sounds exactly like mine.
How insufferably smug this person is. Low quality tiktoks are clogging up this site already - can we not please? I can't believe people are "going viral" for making a video about how great they are. I really dislike this post.
Sometimes BP has a good things but a lot of it is trash and this is one of them. With the exception of Windex and vacuuming most of these were mom did it better and the others were just personal preferences that who cares, whatever, do it how you want it doesn't matter.
And even then, those two just sound like the mom was afraid of destroying her furniture with cleaning supplies because she didn't understand how they worked 💀
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So basically she's saying "I'm a control freak and I'm establishing my own personal identity by proving how much I'm NOT like someone else"?
Okay party people, I would like to say (as a 15 year old child) that comments that judge OP's lifestyle are extremely rude and immature. Do I agree with every single thing they wrote? No. Will I tell everyone reading that it's "wrong"? Also no. It's actually kind of sad to me that the social media I'm growing up with is so blatantly disrespectful to people. I understand that it's your opinion, but it's negative and not nice. Even though OP is probably not going to see any of this, it still affects the other people who are just trying to enjoy content. Thank you.
Thank you for saying that, I had the same thoughts while reading this post.
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I'm sorry for this woman, because there is evidently some trauma there, but I feel even more sorry for her mum, because it must be awful to have a daughter that shames your habits (that seem very indicative of hoarding syndrome and/or some mental issues) online to the whole world to get attention and money. Dealing with family members with mental issues is really though. But vent to friends, your partner, a therapist.. Not tiktok.
People have trouble understanding the title "100% Satire; 100% True" She's posted these as a satire, which means yeah, some of the things are true reactions to not wanting to do things like her mom did, but it's blown out of proportion to be funny
I had to scroll so far down to find a single reasonable person. People are taking this way too seriously and they obviously have no sense of humor whatsoever.
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Except worse because the mother might have had an actual good reason for most of these (most likely being poor and having 7 kids) meanwhile this girl is doing it just because, and also not even remotely self aware about most of her behaviour being just as problematic as her mothers despite being a full grown and wealthy adult already.
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Please stop calling this person bitter, wasteful and judgemental. You have no idea what she experienced as a child. She is clearly holding onto some stuff and if this is therapeutic for her, then great. She's not hurting anyone, and she's encouraging cutting back on single use items. Everybody just needs to stop with the holier than thou bull s**t.
Welcome to having a hoarder for a parent at best and parent using food as punishment at worse. In my case it was both and I don't have more 1 month supply of anything on hand. When you lose count at 10 dumpsters when cleaning out your dead mom's place..you look at your own home and shopping differently.
Wow, all of the comments are so judgemental. She is clearly saying that she has finally realized you don't have to do things the way someone in your past said to do them and everyone here is yelling "no do it my way". Just completely missing the point. Your way isn't the only way nor is it the best way. Get over yourself
It seems like a lot of the comments are talking about how annoying this woman is. For me EVERY SINGLE thing she said I related to. I have to have support from my partner to throw away broken things in my home. I just stopped rinsing out ziplock baggies and keeping boxes. It is freeing to let go of things for some of us. I want to wear life loosely and want to change from a scarcity mindset to an abundant one. I love the planet. I love myself and forgive myself for trying something different.
Hello, can the people saying how the stuff is bad for the environment and calling op a jerk for that stop please? A person throwing away a sandwich bag and not keeping old, worn-out, pairless socks isn't killing the oceans, but the mega corporations that make them are. People use what they have. A lot of these entries were likely due to complex childhood trauma (which I also have) and I fully understand wanting to show people her freedom of not being like her abuser. She probably didn't even mean it to blow up like this, nor to be wasteful or judgemental. She's just documenting recovery in a different way
Thumbs down on most of these. Very strange stuff and beyond my ken. 🤷♀️
Could you be more off base? The difference is, she is ATTACKING her mom and being an a*****e, and we, as a RESPONSE, won’t stand for that. We didn’t seek her out to tear her apart, we’re standing up for what’s right when someone’s being a huge d**k.
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So, I get that for her mental health she's trying to be different from her mom, that's great, BUT (and like mine it's quite big) she's now simply espousing being incredibly wasteful. So in the end she and her mom were doing it wrong. Also, I'm dead serious, do not just throw out medicine and supplements, I can't stress this enough. Please take them to a safe disposal area. In America every single Walgreens will do this for you. If you can't find a place contact your local poison control. Not in the trash, not down the toilet. Please! Ok, ending rant.
Some of this just sounds like her mom being poor, not a terrible person. I feel bad her mom is being judged for habits borne out of dealing with potential poverty. And a lot of her mom's attitudes were normal for the time, especially regarding mental health, pets. I'm glad that OP seems to be doing better financially, but I still feel like there is a better way to have gone about this.
I do a lot of things differently than my mother, not because I hate my mother, but because it works better for me/my beliefs. My mother is a product of the Depression and WWII, I'm a product of Earth Day and overpopulation.
OP sounds like a lot of teens and young adults when they first move out. (Many teens think thier parents are stupid, then grow up and realize that thier parents were far smarter than they ever gave them credit for.) In ten years OP might end up with a completely different attitude.
She said she had five brothers and at least one sister that's at least seven kids. It sounds like her mom was trying to do everything she could to stay afloat. She comes across as very ungrateful and materialistic. I get not doing everything your parents did but this is too much. I feel bad for her mom.
My parents were depression era, WWII people. My mom hardly ever threw anything out, yet she was what I called OCD about her housekeeping. There was never a speck of dust allowed in our house - on anything. She was the perfect housekeeper, the perfect cook, the perfect everything. She did everything for everybody so they didn't have to. Me? I don't sweep until I fall over a dust bunny. I only dust if someone is coming over. I like to sew, and I'd rather be in my sewing room than anywhere else, doing anything else. LOL! I keep my kitchen and bathroom clean, but the rest can go to pot for all I care.
Bruh must be nice to be rich enough to throw away perfectly good socks just because you haven't been able to find the other one yet... Unless the mom is secretly some rich extreme cheapskate, more than half of the mothers behaviours seem COMPLETELY reasonable and rational, especially when mom apparantly had at least 6 kids, so a family of 8, during multiple times of nationwide/global economic crisis.. I know complaining about 'first world problems' often isn't fair, but jfc, bitching about having margarine instead of butter, having to keep good socks even when you can't find the other one, not throwing away perfectably useable tools over a little tear, having a messy junk drawer, and keeping some old cardboard boxes sound like such first world problems to have... And some of these others just sound like the mom didn't fully understand how to use cleaning supplies in a way that didn't damage expensive furniture and she didn't want to risk it. Kind of weird to aim all this petty weird shade at her potentially mentally ill mom on tiktok when most likely it's the fault of society causing them to have to live worse bc they're poor, and tbh her mom mightve been a hoarder but op seems like she also has almost just as bad a problem, just in the opposite direction... Especially weird when there's no vitrol at the dad, who if he was around could've helped stop the hoarding at any moment, unless he was also a hoarder and mysteriously not mentioned, or not in the picture in which case its a single mom with 6 kids, so even more poor... Like most of this sounds completely normal, imagine hating your mother just because she's your average lower class woman born around the 60s.
Especially when she supposedly has 5 brothers, so 6 kids total. No mention of the dad either, so either it's a single mom, he's also a hoarder (though most of moms behaviours dont even sound that bad on the hoarder scale tbh), or he's normal but didn't stop this apparantly egregious hoarding problem of the mom... Like unless mom was secretly some rich extreme cheapskate, imagine hating on your mom for having margarine instead of butter and... not throwing away socks JUST because you can't find the other one?? Actual genuine epitome of first world problems 💀
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Why can I see HER children doing posts about her like this in the near future??? I don’t know her story but if her mother was struggling she deserves empathy, not reasons why she sucks posted online for attention seeking purposes 😞
Literally every single fellow teenager or young adult I see on tiktok criticising how their parents/literal adult strangers on tiktok are doing something wrong and they could do soooo much better, would for sure do an equally bad and traumatising if not worse job, just in a different direction 💀 Worse in the sense that they seem incredibly emotionally immature and dramatic and not even remotely self aware about it, all while going out of their way to s**t on the way other people do things to the public. The teenagers might grow out of it, because most teenagers aren't as rational and emotionally mature as they think they are, that's just a part of being a teenager, but fully grown adults with their own houses and cars still acting like this.... yikes.
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Reduce, Reuse & Recycle. This girl needs to learn these 3 words. She seems very wasteful and privileged.
Wow, the relatability of this post! I get it, this is the trauma of having grown up in a home with mental illness. She's not bitter, this is her reality. Shame that many commenters seem to have completely missed the point of the article.
I... I'm not sure, but we may be related. You just described MY mother.
No no no I get her, she and I have different but the same Mom’s. My Mom has been using the same ziplock bags over and over and over since my niece was in preschool (she’s graduates from HS in May 2023). Mom uses the same dishcloth in the kitchen for days and days on end. She wears socks with a hole in the heel so big her foot could come out. She wipes everything down with hot water cause that’s all it needs. Things are broken and gross. Like the blender that’s all cracked and funky I won’t use it for my own food anymore. Things pile up in the garage and then she says how much the mess embarrasses her, and how I need to help with it. When I have there things in there total. She’s always saying I’m not allowed to do this and make sure I do this I’M 32! This all seems mean and condescending when you don’t know how this all is. When all you’ve had is normal. But no being told to reuse the tissues after you blow your nose is so far gone that I get where she’s coming from.
I don't think the point is that everyone should do things the way this woman does them. I think the point is that she's healing by consciously doing things differently in order to undo trauma. It's not that this way is always best, it's that this way is best *for her, right now*. Someone whose parent was obsessed with cleaning might need to learn to relax and let things be messy. I've found healing in learning to mend broken objects that my parents would have thrown away. It's not one-size-fits-all.
I'm sorry to see so many negative comments. I understand where you are coming from. I saw my mother in so many of your statements. We were in poverty my whole childhood. My mother was mentally, emotionally and physically abusive. So many mental health issues and they do get passed on. I'm happy for you, that you are finding a way to work through these issues. I see that you aren't blaming your mom, you are taking responsibility for you and saying "nope, not me, I'm gonna change". One step at a time.
Just a little bitter are we. And i live in a hurricane zone i will always have extra food
Less is more more is less. I keep only thing I need and donate the rest. I don't iron clothes. I take them out if the dryer as soon as they're done to be put away. I don't fold clothes. I just put them on hangers. If they don't have to be folded i.e. rags, towels, underwear etc, I just put them in bins and put them out of sight. Decorative towels and are the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I don't have a dresser. I just put it in bins in the closet above the hanging clothes. My night stand doesn't have drawers. It just a simple surface with a lamp and a small bowl for my wallet and keys. No useless decor. My decorations are all functional items. I use sustained yield disposable plates, cups and utensils. I don't buy the most expensive items my credit will let me buy. I buy QUALITY items. Not quantity. Not name brands. QUALITY. Know the difference. I oy buy what I need. Save time. Save money. I build my work around my life. Not my life around my work.
Just WOW. I couldn't stomach reading past 15 posts. I would love to be like my mom! I'm an intervert while she was friendly and outgoing, a terrific cook, funny and just great to be around. Sorry this woman's mom is such a disappointment. She probably did the best she could being a busy mom. I hate those Progressive insurance commercials ragging "Don't be like your parents". Just stop.
I'm glad you'd love to be like your mother. Not all of us were blessed with such wonderful parents and we should be able to acknowledge that without being shamed for it.
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Over half of these aren't "I'm learning from my mother's mistakes" they're "I'm bitter from my childhood and going to rebel and do the opposite of my mother, making the same amount of mistakes she did"
Most of the things on this woman's list are pretty dumb and boring. I can't believe I read even half of this list. I kept reading mainly out of a desperate hope that the list would get interesting; but nope, it was all boring, stupid stuff. And most of the stuff this woman is doing or not doing to be the antithesis of her mother hardly makes her morally or socially superior.
If an unclean home/car/whatever is all you have to complain about from your childhood, consider yourself lucky. I can make a list of things I don't do that my mother did but you'd all need therapy after reading that list. 😅
I couldn't look at it all. This adult woman thinks about her mother far too much.
While we appreciate finding things that work for you and changing generational harm, it seems OP is maybe just.. pompous and angry. Sounds a lot like she's coping with a parent who liked to hang onto things. A little bit of understanding usually fixes that and makes sure you don't follow the footsteps.
Tell me you grew up privileged without telling me you grew up privileged… 🤦🏽♀️
What a bitter know-it-all!! Lol; I'm sure mom does a lot of great things too.
Wow, she sounds very bitter! I don’t know how wealthy their family was when growing up, but hoarding can come from fear of running out of something or not being able to afford to replace it. Of course I’m sure all our parents do strange things, or say awful things, sometimes without meaning to, or absolutely meaning to! Maybe it sounds less spiteful watching it.
That's exactly what I was thinking! "Wow, this seems bitter." I imagine she had a difficult childhood, but this post seemed kind of excessive.
Load More Replies... What a horrible woman. My mum does most of these, because she grew it up dirt poor and the fear of being back in that position is hard to beat. Of course I dislike some of these too, but I understand why, rather than try to shame her in front of an audience!
I don't have children, but I WILL criticise my mother for not taking me to a doctor when I developed seizures, thank you very much! One doesn't have to be a hen to recognise a foul egg.
Load More Replies... I love this post and can totally relate to All of them. Her Mom sounds exactly like mine.
How insufferably smug this person is. Low quality tiktoks are clogging up this site already - can we not please? I can't believe people are "going viral" for making a video about how great they are. I really dislike this post.
Sometimes BP has a good things but a lot of it is trash and this is one of them. With the exception of Windex and vacuuming most of these were mom did it better and the others were just personal preferences that who cares, whatever, do it how you want it doesn't matter.
And even then, those two just sound like the mom was afraid of destroying her furniture with cleaning supplies because she didn't understand how they worked 💀
Load More Replies... So basically she's saying "I'm a control freak and I'm establishing my own personal identity by proving how much I'm NOT like someone else"?
Okay party people, I would like to say (as a 15 year old child) that comments that judge OP's lifestyle are extremely rude and immature. Do I agree with every single thing they wrote? No. Will I tell everyone reading that it's "wrong"? Also no. It's actually kind of sad to me that the social media I'm growing up with is so blatantly disrespectful to people. I understand that it's your opinion, but it's negative and not nice. Even though OP is probably not going to see any of this, it still affects the other people who are just trying to enjoy content. Thank you.
Thank you for saying that, I had the same thoughts while reading this post.
Load More Replies... I'm sorry for this woman, because there is evidently some trauma there, but I feel even more sorry for her mum, because it must be awful to have a daughter that shames your habits (that seem very indicative of hoarding syndrome and/or some mental issues) online to the whole world to get attention and money. Dealing with family members with mental issues is really though. But vent to friends, your partner, a therapist.. Not tiktok.
People have trouble understanding the title "100% Satire; 100% True" She's posted these as a satire, which means yeah, some of the things are true reactions to not wanting to do things like her mom did, but it's blown out of proportion to be funny
I had to scroll so far down to find a single reasonable person. People are taking this way too seriously and they obviously have no sense of humor whatsoever.
Load More Replies... Except worse because the mother might have had an actual good reason for most of these (most likely being poor and having 7 kids) meanwhile this girl is doing it just because, and also not even remotely self aware about most of her behaviour being just as problematic as her mothers despite being a full grown and wealthy adult already.
Load More Replies... Please stop calling this person bitter, wasteful and judgemental. You have no idea what she experienced as a child. She is clearly holding onto some stuff and if this is therapeutic for her, then great. She's not hurting anyone, and she's encouraging cutting back on single use items. Everybody just needs to stop with the holier than thou bull s**t.
Welcome to having a hoarder for a parent at best and parent using food as punishment at worse. In my case it was both and I don't have more 1 month supply of anything on hand. When you lose count at 10 dumpsters when cleaning out your dead mom's place..you look at your own home and shopping differently.
Wow, all of the comments are so judgemental. She is clearly saying that she has finally realized you don't have to do things the way someone in your past said to do them and everyone here is yelling "no do it my way". Just completely missing the point. Your way isn't the only way nor is it the best way. Get over yourself
It seems like a lot of the comments are talking about how annoying this woman is. For me EVERY SINGLE thing she said I related to. I have to have support from my partner to throw away broken things in my home. I just stopped rinsing out ziplock baggies and keeping boxes. It is freeing to let go of things for some of us. I want to wear life loosely and want to change from a scarcity mindset to an abundant one. I love the planet. I love myself and forgive myself for trying something different.
Hello, can the people saying how the stuff is bad for the environment and calling op a jerk for that stop please? A person throwing away a sandwich bag and not keeping old, worn-out, pairless socks isn't killing the oceans, but the mega corporations that make them are. People use what they have. A lot of these entries were likely due to complex childhood trauma (which I also have) and I fully understand wanting to show people her freedom of not being like her abuser. She probably didn't even mean it to blow up like this, nor to be wasteful or judgemental. She's just documenting recovery in a different way
Thumbs down on most of these. Very strange stuff and beyond my ken. 🤷♀️
Could you be more off base? The difference is, she is ATTACKING her mom and being an a*****e, and we, as a RESPONSE, won’t stand for that. We didn’t seek her out to tear her apart, we’re standing up for what’s right when someone’s being a huge d**k.
Load More Replies... So, I get that for her mental health she's trying to be different from her mom, that's great, BUT (and like mine it's quite big) she's now simply espousing being incredibly wasteful. So in the end she and her mom were doing it wrong. Also, I'm dead serious, do not just throw out medicine and supplements, I can't stress this enough. Please take them to a safe disposal area. In America every single Walgreens will do this for you. If you can't find a place contact your local poison control. Not in the trash, not down the toilet. Please! Ok, ending rant.
Some of this just sounds like her mom being poor, not a terrible person. I feel bad her mom is being judged for habits borne out of dealing with potential poverty. And a lot of her mom's attitudes were normal for the time, especially regarding mental health, pets. I'm glad that OP seems to be doing better financially, but I still feel like there is a better way to have gone about this.
I do a lot of things differently than my mother, not because I hate my mother, but because it works better for me/my beliefs. My mother is a product of the Depression and WWII, I'm a product of Earth Day and overpopulation.
OP sounds like a lot of teens and young adults when they first move out. (Many teens think thier parents are stupid, then grow up and realize that thier parents were far smarter than they ever gave them credit for.) In ten years OP might end up with a completely different attitude.
She said she had five brothers and at least one sister that's at least seven kids. It sounds like her mom was trying to do everything she could to stay afloat. She comes across as very ungrateful and materialistic. I get not doing everything your parents did but this is too much. I feel bad for her mom.
My parents were depression era, WWII people. My mom hardly ever threw anything out, yet she was what I called OCD about her housekeeping. There was never a speck of dust allowed in our house - on anything. She was the perfect housekeeper, the perfect cook, the perfect everything. She did everything for everybody so they didn't have to. Me? I don't sweep until I fall over a dust bunny. I only dust if someone is coming over. I like to sew, and I'd rather be in my sewing room than anywhere else, doing anything else. LOL! I keep my kitchen and bathroom clean, but the rest can go to pot for all I care.
Bruh must be nice to be rich enough to throw away perfectly good socks just because you haven't been able to find the other one yet... Unless the mom is secretly some rich extreme cheapskate, more than half of the mothers behaviours seem COMPLETELY reasonable and rational, especially when mom apparantly had at least 6 kids, so a family of 8, during multiple times of nationwide/global economic crisis.. I know complaining about 'first world problems' often isn't fair, but jfc, bitching about having margarine instead of butter, having to keep good socks even when you can't find the other one, not throwing away perfectably useable tools over a little tear, having a messy junk drawer, and keeping some old cardboard boxes sound like such first world problems to have... And some of these others just sound like the mom didn't fully understand how to use cleaning supplies in a way that didn't damage expensive furniture and she didn't want to risk it. Kind of weird to aim all this petty weird shade at her potentially mentally ill mom on tiktok when most likely it's the fault of society causing them to have to live worse bc they're poor, and tbh her mom mightve been a hoarder but op seems like she also has almost just as bad a problem, just in the opposite direction... Especially weird when there's no vitrol at the dad, who if he was around could've helped stop the hoarding at any moment, unless he was also a hoarder and mysteriously not mentioned, or not in the picture in which case its a single mom with 6 kids, so even more poor... Like most of this sounds completely normal, imagine hating your mother just because she's your average lower class woman born around the 60s.
Especially when she supposedly has 5 brothers, so 6 kids total. No mention of the dad either, so either it's a single mom, he's also a hoarder (though most of moms behaviours dont even sound that bad on the hoarder scale tbh), or he's normal but didn't stop this apparantly egregious hoarding problem of the mom... Like unless mom was secretly some rich extreme cheapskate, imagine hating on your mom for having margarine instead of butter and... not throwing away socks JUST because you can't find the other one?? Actual genuine epitome of first world problems 💀
Load More Replies... Why can I see HER children doing posts about her like this in the near future??? I don’t know her story but if her mother was struggling she deserves empathy, not reasons why she sucks posted online for attention seeking purposes 😞
Literally every single fellow teenager or young adult I see on tiktok criticising how their parents/literal adult strangers on tiktok are doing something wrong and they could do soooo much better, would for sure do an equally bad and traumatising if not worse job, just in a different direction 💀 Worse in the sense that they seem incredibly emotionally immature and dramatic and not even remotely self aware about it, all while going out of their way to s**t on the way other people do things to the public. The teenagers might grow out of it, because most teenagers aren't as rational and emotionally mature as they think they are, that's just a part of being a teenager, but fully grown adults with their own houses and cars still acting like this.... yikes.
Load More Replies... Reduce, Reuse & Recycle. This girl needs to learn these 3 words. She seems very wasteful and privileged.
Wow, the relatability of this post! I get it, this is the trauma of having grown up in a home with mental illness. She's not bitter, this is her reality. Shame that many commenters seem to have completely missed the point of the article.
I... I'm not sure, but we may be related. You just described MY mother.
No no no I get her, she and I have different but the same Mom’s. My Mom has been using the same ziplock bags over and over and over since my niece was in preschool (she’s graduates from HS in May 2023). Mom uses the same dishcloth in the kitchen for days and days on end. She wears socks with a hole in the heel so big her foot could come out. She wipes everything down with hot water cause that’s all it needs. Things are broken and gross. Like the blender that’s all cracked and funky I won’t use it for my own food anymore. Things pile up in the garage and then she says how much the mess embarrasses her, and how I need to help with it. When I have there things in there total. She’s always saying I’m not allowed to do this and make sure I do this I’M 32! This all seems mean and condescending when you don’t know how this all is. When all you’ve had is normal. But no being told to reuse the tissues after you blow your nose is so far gone that I get where she’s coming from.
I don't think the point is that everyone should do things the way this woman does them. I think the point is that she's healing by consciously doing things differently in order to undo trauma. It's not that this way is always best, it's that this way is best *for her, right now*. Someone whose parent was obsessed with cleaning might need to learn to relax and let things be messy. I've found healing in learning to mend broken objects that my parents would have thrown away. It's not one-size-fits-all.
I'm sorry to see so many negative comments. I understand where you are coming from. I saw my mother in so many of your statements. We were in poverty my whole childhood. My mother was mentally, emotionally and physically abusive. So many mental health issues and they do get passed on. I'm happy for you, that you are finding a way to work through these issues. I see that you aren't blaming your mom, you are taking responsibility for you and saying "nope, not me, I'm gonna change". One step at a time.
Just a little bitter are we. And i live in a hurricane zone i will always have extra food
Less is more more is less. I keep only thing I need and donate the rest. I don't iron clothes. I take them out if the dryer as soon as they're done to be put away. I don't fold clothes. I just put them on hangers. If they don't have to be folded i.e. rags, towels, underwear etc, I just put them in bins and put them out of sight. Decorative towels and are the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I don't have a dresser. I just put it in bins in the closet above the hanging clothes. My night stand doesn't have drawers. It just a simple surface with a lamp and a small bowl for my wallet and keys. No useless decor. My decorations are all functional items. I use sustained yield disposable plates, cups and utensils. I don't buy the most expensive items my credit will let me buy. I buy QUALITY items. Not quantity. Not name brands. QUALITY. Know the difference. I oy buy what I need. Save time. Save money. I build my work around my life. Not my life around my work.
Just WOW. I couldn't stomach reading past 15 posts. I would love to be like my mom! I'm an intervert while she was friendly and outgoing, a terrific cook, funny and just great to be around. Sorry this woman's mom is such a disappointment. She probably did the best she could being a busy mom. I hate those Progressive insurance commercials ragging "Don't be like your parents". Just stop.
I'm glad you'd love to be like your mother. Not all of us were blessed with such wonderful parents and we should be able to acknowledge that without being shamed for it.
Load More Replies... Over half of these aren't "I'm learning from my mother's mistakes" they're "I'm bitter from my childhood and going to rebel and do the opposite of my mother, making the same amount of mistakes she did"
Most of the things on this woman's list are pretty dumb and boring. I can't believe I read even half of this list. I kept reading mainly out of a desperate hope that the list would get interesting; but nope, it was all boring, stupid stuff. And most of the stuff this woman is doing or not doing to be the antithesis of her mother hardly makes her morally or socially superior.
If an unclean home/car/whatever is all you have to complain about from your childhood, consider yourself lucky. I can make a list of things I don't do that my mother did but you'd all need therapy after reading that list. 😅
I couldn't look at it all. This adult woman thinks about her mother far too much.
While we appreciate finding things that work for you and changing generational harm, it seems OP is maybe just.. pompous and angry. Sounds a lot like she's coping with a parent who liked to hang onto things. A little bit of understanding usually fixes that and makes sure you don't follow the footsteps.
Tell me you grew up privileged without telling me you grew up privileged… 🤦🏽♀️
What a bitter know-it-all!! Lol; I'm sure mom does a lot of great things too.
