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Kids are not for everyone. Yet, many default to expecting people to start procreating once they settle down, even insisting that those who claim not to want children will surely someday change their minds. Especially women.

But there are plenty of valid reasons for living child-free. And if a person doesn't want to commit to spending around 18 years of their life caring for another human being whose well-being depends entirely on them, maybe we shouldn't force them into it? Regardless of whether or not they belong to the heteronormative part of society.

Drawing attention to the problem, Redditor AGstudios22 asked other platform users who don't plan on having kids what made them come to that conclusion, and we thought that reading through the answers can provide you with quite a few interesting insights, regardless of your own position.

#1

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers From my own experience, I don’t like the thought of bringing a kid into the world we live in. I’d much sooner adopt a kid who’s in a shifty place or in a struggling area. There are millions of kids starving out there, there are millions of kids being abused out there. Rather save one of them than bring another kid into this retched place

Red_Archived_505 , vperemen.com Report

#2

I really, really don't want to be a parent and I feel like that should at the very least be a prerequisite to having them. My grandmother didn't seem to enjoy parenthood, my mom certainly didn't. They did it because they were "supposed to". I'm breaking the cycle.

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Well-Dressed Wolf
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve occasionally questioned my normal-ness: shouldn’t every healthy adult animal want to perpetuate the species, at least a little? Shouldn’t I have instincts to reproduce? But I don’t XD I want cats and dogs!

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#3

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Selfishness. I like the freedom of being able to wake up or go wherever i want without worrying “whos gonna watch my kids” or “my kids are awake so i have to be awake” so i guess I value my personal freedom more then anything a child could provide me

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Tilly Jean
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It concerns me that it is often regarded as ‘selfishness’. Your entire life is changed, completely. There is nothing wrong with looking after ‘you’. There are enough children in the world, focus on being a better human being for yourself, so the your own freedoms.

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#4

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The fact that nothing really makes me WANT to have them. I feel like you should have an overwhelming desire to become a parent - I don’t, so why would I have a kid?

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Tilly Jean
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good point. You need to be wanting kids 100%. You can’t take it back. Plus it’s important that a child is brought into the world and know they are absolutely wanted.

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#5

You know when you are out in public, and you see parents of children and immediately think, "Those people should have never had kids."?

That's me. I'm those people. Not only do I agree with you, I also took your advice.

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Iifa A.
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! I'm also one of those people, and I'm taking your advice further and will cross the road over to escape children.

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#6

Can I answer even though I have them?

The fact that I have them makes me not want them.

I love my kids and will lay down my life for them, but raising kids SUCKS!

They financially, physically and mentally suck the life out of you.

Sure they have their moments but there is nothing rewarding about raising kids, the only thing you get in return is judgement and premature aging.

I don't regret having them, but man I'll be celebrating hard when they're adults and leave home.

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#7

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Well the total lack of wishing to have a child. Zero desire. Just like I have no desire to have a pet rhino or become a lawyer.

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Jaguarundi
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I watched my friends, single moms, with their kid issues. Kid's sick? I have to call out from work. School issue? I have to go see to that. Groceries? I have to make sure the kid has appropriate food, I may have to eat ramen myself though. I was never ready to make those kinds of decisions. Even two parent households had a lot to shovel through with just one kid. No thanks, I'm good by myself.

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#8

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I can barely take care of myself sometimes it feels like, can’t possibly take on another human. More selfishly there’s still a lot of things I want to do that I couldn’t if I had a kid. Lastly, just a pessimistic view of the world and the desire to not want to bring new life into that.

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Tilly Jean
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s not considered selfish if you’re choosing to look after yourself. Also, you’re thinking of the sorry world that hypothetical child will be left with in the future.

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#9

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Not wanting to pass on genetic chronic pain/mental illness. Also kids = no money

JamesBlonde21 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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Ozacoter
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is really important. Many illneses are inheritable but it is so normalised to have biological kids that many knew the risk and still choose to have kids. Knowing that they might live in pain for their entire life. There are alternatives like egg/sperm donnors or adoption that at least avoid the genetic issues. I cannot resoect a person that will force their diseases on a child just because they want a bio kid.

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#10

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The screaming in the next aisle over at the grocery store because they can't have the <insert item> they want.

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Emily Mulheran
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or the snarky, little unbridled brat who kicks the back of your seat INCESSANTLY. DURING. THE. ENTIRE. 7. HOUR. FLIGHT. (especially when it’s time to get off the plane and you see their well-rested parent.)

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Tree Of Rage
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's on the parents, if you raise your kids correctly they won't do this. Childeren who do this are in charge of the relationship, parents let them walk on them. I wouldn't have been caught dead making a scene like that. My parents didn't hit us, they would embarass us, and that was a powerful teaching method imo. If we did that, mom would turn to us and say "that's embarrassing for you" and just walk away. You stop screaming real quick when u know it doesn't work.

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Lovemyisland ️
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's actually a good method your mom used. For me every parent is different and teach their kids in a different way. Same as every kid is different. For me, my mom had 4 kids (including me), single mother, and she never had any problem with us when we went outside. How?, well she would give us THAT look, like I dare you to make a scene because you know what's coming. And let me tell you, she didn't play.

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Mama Penguin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ugh. I can't stand their whiny high pitched screams when the parents say no to something.

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Suzanne Tilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have no patience with screamers. And even less with the ones who sneakily place in the cart two different objects and try to bargain with you at the checkout line

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Freya the Wanderer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I lived with Grandma, we went out to dinner a few times a month. At least twice one or two screaming, out-of-control brats ruined our evening. People should have the legal right to smack unruly kids upside the head.

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Stephanie Trump
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! I was already fairly certain I didn’t want children, but occasionally I’d entertain the thought. Working at Walmart for nine years cured any feeling of ever wanting kids

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Mosheh Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are enough adults who do this, probably because their parents gave in when their kids did this.

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Beautifullybroken
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My daughter pulled this once and I'm one of those that refuse to allow my child to make a scene especially in public, so out we went to the car and home, returned later by myself when her father got home from work, I refuse to allow her to think this is okay and act like a spoiled brat, unfortunately not all parents think this way

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Karen Klinck Klinck
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The one time--and I was 18 months old at the time--I screamed in a restaurant, my father picked me up, stuffed me in the car, and locked the doors, windows up. He sat on the bumper and waited to see how long I'd scream. And I never did it again.

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Moonwolf Dancer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My kid did this in a grocery store. I walked away and left her screaming on the floor. She stopped, saw I had left and ran after me. I didn't have to say a word other than that's what would happen. She never did it again.

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Jackie Reed
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I admit this only because I would never,ever do it,and the thought only lasts very briefly:I hear the screaming and the first thought that pops into my head is:Kill it.

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Sam Stafford
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I work in a grocery store and I hear is a different child screaming every hour. If I can't even handle it for an 8 hour shift, I definitely don't want to deal with it for years.

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Sarah German
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is why I'm soooo glad I don't have kids. I grew up with 6 younger siblings and their screaming and yelling always bothered the c**p out of me. Not only am I traumatized by babies and kids screaming, but I feel like I've already done my time, so to say.

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Thecoolbonnie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And at restaurants, movie theaters, malls, {insert anyplace here}

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TwitchyBird
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, that has a LOT to do with the parent as well, not just the kid.

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Matt G.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with this one. But, I also believe that's the parents fault for spoiling the child, or not correcting the attitude.

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Asher Elliott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids just seem so selfish to me. Like, they are ungrateful and when they dont get what they want they scream. Wtf?

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Rocky Mom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is because their brains are LITERALLY growing. Their ignorance to what feelings are, the existence of others and their feelings, is very real because of biology. Their brains and experiences are not at a capacity of understanding. They are learning and it takes someone capable to teach them how to cope and understand feelings.

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Opal Dieters
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children can be jerks/assholes. I have a 16 year old, 10 year old, and almost 9 year old. My husband and children are also high functioning Asperger's.

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Linda Faix
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The 5 little screamers that scream from the.moment they get home, til dinner or bed time, because mom, who is pregnant with the sixth, can't take it any more and sends them outside to inflict them on everyone else. Here's a woman who should have held an aspirin between her knees. They moved out a month ago. It has been peaceful ever since

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Amy Stone-Chandler
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids behave that way because the parents allow it. It's not the way kids "just behave." Spoiled Temper tantrums and lack of parents handling them are the issue. Just sayin

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Giobemo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was kidsitting for a friend once and took the child to rent a movie (yes, I'm that old). Kid saw candy at the check out, and I knew she had the exact same candy at home already so I told her no and explained why. Kid screamed and cried the whole way out and the whole way home, with everybody staring at me like I was the most evil human being that ever lived. No thanks! So thankful to be able to say goodbye to all the kids in my life whenever I want to.

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Candy Morgan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If your kid is screaming about something that means they are lacking something else that you’re not providing with them such as proper guidance on how to behave and teaching them etiquette . It’s not about you just shopping jackass!

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Michele Varnum
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My boy used to ask me what is wrong w that kid why are they doing that? Being consistent from the beginning is the only way to teach respect there is no being nice in the beginning cz oh its a baby no you make them into who they will be the whole time they watch you they are as a sponge give respect get respect

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Christine Unemsw
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The first time my kid tried this I calmly took her by the hand, abandoned the cart and left. Explain in an age appropriate manner that this is not how we act. It never happened again. Also, don't take your kids grocery shopping when you know they're overtired and due for a nap or are hungry. I'm not talking about you can't run in for milk or bread but don't do a full cart order with an exhausted hungry kid.

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Wendy Miller
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's the parents fault for lack of parenting skills. Although I didn't spank or yell at my child, she was disciplined & would be yanked out of a store immediately if she'd ever done this. You can't give into this behavior, if you do you're setting up having a brat for life.

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Franco Franco
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My kids never did that. It's called discipline and consequences. Things a lot of young people today know very little about.

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becck
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wow would you like an award for being so great (read: probably scaring your kids into submission)

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not the child's fault, nor is it the way most children are. This is solely the fault of the parent who didn't bother to parent. Your child is born an animal; it's your job to turn it into a human being.

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Teresa Thayn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know! Did you see Kate Middleton's kid throwing a fit on national TV?!? I would have died of embarrassment!!

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Debbie Sandahl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a child, and I had a temper tantrum in the store, my mom just stopped everything left the a full cart and walked out of the store as so other people wouldn't have to deal with it. She went later when my dad was home to watch me. No one does that any more, they just let their kids go on screaming and make it horrible for us that have to listen to it, that is one of the many reasons I didn't want kids.

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Ariane Catherine Frisinger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I always thought the sound of screaming toddler's between highschool class periods would be a great deterrent to teen pregnancy lol

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PeppershakerPros
Community Member
4 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you know what would be a good deterrent to teen pregnancy? teaching teenage girls how to spot predatory adult men 😘

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Debbie Steele
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Years ago, when I was nineteen, a miserable, disheveled young woman with three kids in her cart at the grocery, cut off my cart, looked me dead in the eye and said "Don't ever have children." And I haven't.

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Rachel Betancort
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not selfish to know you don't want kids and not to have them. It IS selfish to have kids just because you are pressured by society and then suck at being a parent.

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Biliegh Berrie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just trophy participation parenting. My kids NEVER acted like that in public! They knew better!!!

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Hellìon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Parents in my country use the slapping tactic on these :D

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Lisa Hunt
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My son did this ONCE. I scooped him up like a football, walked out of the grocery and let the cashier know that I had perishable items that needed put away. Strapped him into his car seat and on the drive home he apologized no less than 10 times.

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Jennifer Roedl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have kids and I still look at people like they’re crazy. I know kids have to learn but at least LOOK like you’re attempting to teach a lesson. I’m not team cry it out but if someone else is they need to do that s**t at home!!

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Carissa Boswell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not if you raise them right. Most people think spankings are abuse and a one way ticket to ptsd or mental illness, but as a child who had been spanked, I have no issues and(I quote my parents and their friends)"I'm very well behaved and calm" I've known right from wrong from a young age and I've never pitched a fit in a public setting(my mom has said that often). My point is, spank your kids when they do something bad and you'll be just fine.

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Terri S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or the opposite, Mommy gives her kid anything it wants just to keep it quiet.

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Bonnie Graves
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I chose not to have kids because I have a genetic condition called nerofibromattosus. It where tumors grow either on inside of body or out I didn't want to pass it on to my kids .

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Fictionalized reality
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup, that is the reason for me. When I get baby fever I go to the store and poof.

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Leo Bredernitz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bruh my brother exactly. But I stead of talking to him about it, we leave him there to pout and probably get permanent ptsd

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Tomie Russom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I still believe that there should be grocery store hours to shop child free. My 23 y-o daughter hears a screaming child and her uterus cringes. I have 2 grown children who are to selfish to procreate. They know this about themselves and know better than to have children.

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Ash Friend
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually work in a grocery store, so I hear that sort of thing a lot.

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Alicia GriffonLady
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not all children. That's a case of "those people shouldn't have had kids either" most of the time. Some times it's an adopted kid with issues, so not anyone's fault (except possibly a drug addict that chose to continue doing drugs while pregnant). Any way, any one who doesn't add to the population is helping the Earth/curbing population growth, so thank you. ^_^

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MJisME
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I HATE this with a passion and I'm a parent. The parent of said child ignores them while we have to endure the torture of the yelling and screaming of their child. Get ur child and leave the store/restaurant/mall/park etc. because the rest of us don't need or want to hear it.

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John Austin
Community Member
11 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I see a kid aged about two I size of the parents and sometimes try to trigger the kid to "make shy". It gives the parents some peace and maybe an idea about using psychology on the kid.

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Jyl Shoket
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just as good a reason to not have anything to do with people in general, grown a*s adults do that as well. Sadly

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Caitlin Van Riet
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. Too many spoilers brats in the world. *I'm not an old man btw I'm a teenager sooo

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Knitting Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, my kid never did this, but I remember years ago when having a blood draw, a nurse complaining and worrying about her daughter's tantrums. My son was in high school at that time. Didn't know how easy I'd had it! Even with an easy going kid, motherhood is the toughest job. If you don't want kids, its good you know not to have them. I wanted them and had a strong maternal drive.

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Debbie Sandahl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is one at the top of my list. I just wish parents would take the kid out of the store for a time out. Other people shouldnt have to listen to that, it is so rude.My mother just left everything in the cart in the store and walked me out and brought me home. I guess I was so shocked she did that, I never did it again.

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Elizabeth VanDyke
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My kids never, ever misbehaved in public! They could be demons at home, but when out in the world they were angels!

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Arianna
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES YES OH MY- This is my little sister, and I can't help but feel bad for the parents that have to deal with that embarrassment on a daily basis.

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Evelyn Haskins
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THAT is not kid problems!, That IS parenting problems. I agree with you all! If you are too lazy, or too selfish to bring up children properly then do NOT have them.

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Stormy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reason 700,369,001 that I have no desire to have children, and I WILL NOT have them no matter who asks, “you might want kids someday,” or “when will I get to be a grandma?” 🙄 Never.

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Stormy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES! Or the child kicking your airplane seat incessantly because the parents are too tired or detached to care. Ugh I want to turn around and say, “please attend to your children! S/he is making my 9hr flight unbearable. Reason 1,875 I don’t and won’t have children

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Cathy Carey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have a friend with you next time to remove the child back to their car seat where they will sit for 30 minutes strapped in with no toys etc. It might work. I talked to my kids before we went in to tell them if they can or cannot get something - most of the time it was them getting nothing except the food etc that was on the list.

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Shepherd Praise Onoja
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This never happens in traditional African homes, as kids we knew this was just begging for you parent/parents to kill you in public 😄😄. And trust me other adults will nod in agreement 🤣🤣.

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Jane Alexander
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is not about having the kid, this is the parenting. This did not come on overnight.

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Elmina Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hear that screaming child, and I try to leave the store ASAP!

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Ashley Berryman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, but in this day and age, we've got adults doing that too. =-(

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Alek Demetropoulos
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Literally never experienced this with my children because I simply enforced rules.

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RoseAnne Hutchence
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then, when you just wish the parent would give them a light swat on the butt to shut them up, you remember someone will surely cry "child abuse."

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Riley Quinn
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it's one adult trying to do 100 things with an unruly child, I'll either offer assistance or go to the other side of the store. However, if there is more than one adult, I'll tell them to remove the child from the store.

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Terry Armstrong
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Accidentally" stepping back in the queue onto the toes of the screaming kid behind, whose mother can't control them???

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Gypsy Lee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This has everything to do with parenting, or the lack thereof.

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Abigail Almeida
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is plain bad parenting! I have 2 sons. They have their own lives now. But never in any occasion one of them would scream or lay on the floor making a scene! That was absolutely unacceptable! And that's a point you have to make as a parent, as soon as possible! I made mine understand how people are able to buy things. So, if in a situation they want something I can't give, I would just say that right now I don't have the money to buy "whatever", and as soon as I have enough, if they still want it, I would buy it. And they just understood and waited! So simple and effective! They just need to get an explanation of how things work! After that, it's simple to avoid all these scenes..

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Julie
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This photo makes me wonder if this kid was having a tantrum or just took off her boots laid on the floor and went to sleep

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Kay Brandon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s just bad parenting, my kids have never ever done this!

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Just a Winter Fanboy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If this trivial thing concerns you, I suggest you to STAY AWAY from parenthood in any form.

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Shoto Todoroki
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a kid my siblings and I never did that. My parents would gather us into the living room told us what they expected from us once we got to store. Hang onto the basket, stay close, if you see something you want ask and if we get a no. That's final. And if we make a scene or talk back we leave the store without the groceries, etc. This is repeated again in the parking lot of the store. Afterwards we would get nuggets or was able to get a candy at checkout

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L Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So many parents don't know how to parent, and so they failed to set up child expectations when they are in the store. Now that doesn't mean a kid won't have a tantrum once in awhile, but I think a lot of that is due to parents not setting up their expectations well.

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shuebox shuebox
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My kids did this. They have severe autism. Every tantrum is not about a bratty kid and poor patenting.

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Charles From the USA
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was at a Walmart and heard a kid screaming. The woman next to me said God I'd hate to take that home. I turned around, it was my son.

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Nicole Kosanke
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've seen a toddler have a meltdown for almost 30 minutes because he found out that his older sister had been present at his birth but he hadn't been present at hers.

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JillyByNature
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every time I'm in public and hear a toddler scream bloody murder because they can't get their way, that's my reminder that I don't want kids. My instinct isn't "are they ok?" My inner dialogue says "wtf."

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Susan Wood
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The crying is another one that parent go through from their kids fake it to get what they want.screaming it a nightmare.no I don't give in and hate that one thing so yeah I be having alo

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Brittany casey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't stand these kids! The ones who throw tantrums. When I had my kids all I had to do is give them the look.

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Shea Bell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There’s PLENTY if things I want when I shop and realize I can’t have, I’m just a grown person. Children are the same, except they cannot regulate that emotion.

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Sheila Perri
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the difficult transition from crying baby to speaking child. The more I explained that Froot Loops were not an option the more she cried. I said she could find me in the next aisle or few when she was finished her fit. She tried it only twice. If you give in, it will never stop, and their future will more likely include a divorce.

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Meyrin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is a parent fault, not the child. If you care you can prevent this from ever happing and if you don't then as an bumhole you will raise a bumhole

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ZombiesAteYou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, somebody at some point in time dealt with you doing exactly this. It's not some abnormal thing. You did it, I did it, nearly every child at some point has a public emotional breakdown. To each their own I suppose.

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Contessa Steele
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That has to do with lack of good parenting. My daughter never acted that way in public. Neither did either of my nephews… but it takes consist discipline and I can completely understand that being a reason not to want kids. Because yes it’s easier to just give in and give them what they want than to stand by a no or to teach a child a life lesson.

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Esiaa
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sad part is, I was that child when I was little. I'm surprised my parents didn't just leave me there.

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Melanie Margaret
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Literally, just this morning. Parent did nothing so the kid kept melting down. No thank you!

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Opal Dieters
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids and be assholes. I have 3 and a husband who are high functioning Asperger's.

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Tadd S
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

IMHO people that get annoyed with other people's children in public are self-centered pussies and make the world a worse place.

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Suzanne Tilson
Community Member
1 year ago

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Patricia Fonda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what thats Part of growing up! Do you think you were better at that age, no you werent, i wasn't either

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Kitten Kat
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So what? Other people shouldn't have to listen to other people's kids screaming their heads off in public. It's not a part of growing up if people take responsibility for their choice to have kids and react accordingly,as in shutting them up,taking them outside,or getting a babysitter. It shouldn't be everyone else's issue.

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MarioRossi
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1 year ago

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Purple3262
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1 year ago

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Some very harsh comments in here. Proof of your angelic toddler years please.....

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Julian Scherner
Community Member
1 year ago

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Try actually raising your children instead leaving that to the TV and the internet. Or are you just that lazy? Happy to explain. And anyone who comments this "reason" by "omg, this" should definitely get a preventive vasectomy.

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#11

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I've just never wanted any. I never played with baby dolls as a child, I never thought twice about babysitting as a teen, and I was always uncomfortable whenever people said "*when* you have kids" (as opposed to "*if*").

I never found babies cute, I can't imagine spending 24/7 with a little human, and most of all the idea of being responsible for this little creature's happiness and growth, and making sure they become a decent, functioning human being, is *incredibly* intimidating.

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V33333P
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah I won't lie, I find babies just downright creepy looking and their smell is in no way pleasant to me

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#12

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers After what’s going on in America right now I’m considering getting my tubes tied

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Ozacoter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For all people considering it the subreddit "childfree" has a huge and international list of sterilisation friendly doctors.

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#13

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I've been dealing with a mentally disabled older brother for nearly all my life. He's 32 yrs old, but acts like a 7 yr old nearly ALL the time. I love him to death, but after so long of dealing with him growing up (I'm 22), I just do not have the patience to handle something like that again.

VanessaClarkLove replied: This is my big one. I feel terrible for this, but the fear of having a child that isn’t going to grow into a fully independent person with no limitations stopped me dead. If there was a guarantee they would be of average mental capability, I might reconsider.

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Kate Jones
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know, at least as someone with handicapped issues, it's understandable (and often challenged people hold down jobs and can take care of themselves well!). What's worse- and a big fear for me- is when you have a fully functional adult child who doesn't take care of themselves. You see it all the time; grown adults still living at home and can't hold down a full time job, these man-babies/ princesses who are taken care of by pushover parents. I don't mean someone who's in college and paying rent is still young and figuring things out, etc. I mean these people who still act like children when they're 30 and yell at their parents from their smelly and messy basement rooms, depressive and being willfully unhealthy or becoming drug addicts and being THAT kind of burden is a fear for some people, too. I hate to say it this way, but having loser kids is a legit fear. It's hard to live with someone who enjoys victimhood or is in an out of rehab. You shouldn't go into it thinking it's an 18 year commitment; it's possibly a lifetime commitment.

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#14

*gestures wildly* the state of the f*****g world, maybe?

It’s irresponsible to bring a child into the world not knowing if you can provide for them a happy, healthy childhood. And as an American, I just can’t envision a future where my next of kin doesn’t suffer terribly for the economic and ecological blunders of our leadership.

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#16

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers The vast majority of parents I meet complain subtley about having children and how much of a struggle it is, how expensive it is, how they get no sleep, no free time etc.

Then, they usually realise they can't be seen to complain about having children and finish their complaints by saying "But its the best thing I ever did." This part always feels like the least genuine bit and everything before feels like the truth.

Furthermore, one of my best friends has a child and spoke candidly about it, saying "I love him to bits but wish I hadn't have had a kid."

Source: Im a teacher who deals with kids and parents daily.

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Glitterati
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two things can be true at once. You can love your child fiercely but also wish they’d sleep past 5am 😄

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#17

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Because all the "best" kid moments to me are not worth losing the ability for my husband and I to spontaneously take off a random Wednesday from our jobs, have some THC, and enjoy the 1200$ Xbox bundle we just got.

Which is what we did today. No ragrets.

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#18

World's overpopulated, would rather rescue a kid from the system

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Suzanne Tilson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those poor souls need so much love, and the government wants to add to their ranks instead of letting same sex couples have them

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#19

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers - history of severe life altering mental health issues I would NEVER wish to risk passing on (bi-polar, clinical depression, psychosis etc) my Mother and Grandmother on her side. Somehow I seem to have turned out okay but it meant I had a really difficult upbringing, but I would hate to go through what she does and don't want to risk passing it on.

- Lack of freedom / spontaneity. My fiancé and I are like adult children, we're in our 30's and love to play computer games, go out for random ice cream at 11pm, last minute overseas holidays, go out for meals etc whenever we want, I do not want to give that up. A holiday with a child sounds like a chore to me too. Every outing has to be calculated and organised, a simple trip to the store is now a huge chore and time consuming.

- Loss of self, I don't want to become "Mummy" and nothing else. (Not saying that's what happens to everyone, but I feel some people get lost in their kids and lose all sense of themselves as their world now revolves around their children, which is understandable).

- Cost. I do not want to struggle financially, I absolutely cannot afford children and I think it is selfish to have them when you can't provide for them appropriately. Unlike some childfree people, I don't want to put all my focus into my career, I have an average job, it pays enough, without kids I am able to have a comfortable life but I also LOVE my job and am happy. If I had kids we would have to change careers or get second jobs, which I am not willing to do.

- No experience with kids, I don't know what to do with them our how to talk to them. (Please note, I don't hate kids at all, I just don't want any am and awkward with them) I have zero first cousins, my brother is also child free so no nieces or nephews, I've always been awkward around kids even as a kid, and knew from quite a young age parenthood wasn't for me. I do not feel like I have a maternal instinct at all. I do not get giddy seeing babies, but show me a puppy and i'll be melting!

- Lack of sleep, stress. I want a peaceful and somewhat simple life. I enjoy quiet, I enjoy alone time, I enjoy my sleep. Children to not align with that whatsoever.

- Affect on relationship. Children can ruin relationships, it's not their fault but they do. Lack of intimacy, lack of quality time, financial issues causing problems etc. This is something people can work through, but I don't want to risk putting a strain on my relationship as things are perfect for us as they are.

- Risk of severe disability. I absolutely am not willing to look after a severely disabled child for the rest of my life. I have seen how absolutely broken some of these parents are. I saw 2 people yesterday who were clearly husband and wife in their 70's pushing around what appeared to be their profoundly disabled 40ish year old son. That is not the life I am willing to have, but I also don't want to put myself in a position to have to give a child up for adoption.

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#20

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I have tokophobia (extreme fear of pregnancy).

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I’ve Seen Things
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cannot upvote this enough! Catholic all girls school run by nuns, where it was rammed home that the worst thing that can happen to you was teenage pregnancy. Classmates also amplified this “fear” and judgement. For some of us, this fear stuck for life not just the school years. I’ve been explaining/citing tokophobia for decades.

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#21

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Honestly, TikTok etc..

I can raise a kid how I think right but there’s only so much you can shield them from the internet and I’m scared of what the future holds with celebrity/influencer brainwashing culture.
I feel like my generation (early 90’s) was the last generation that was largely safe from this..

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Random Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel this so much. I want kids, but this is something that really worries me about how I'm going to raise them. The Internet is as harmful as it is useful.

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#22

I find them annoying.

Also I have no paternal instinct, don't have the temperament to be a good parent, and I'm poor.

It would be unfair to any child to have me imposed on them as a parent.

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Esiaa
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'I'm poor' this. I barely have enough for myself sometimes. I can't imagine having a kid. Unless the kid gets a job too.

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#23

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Those kids who have parents that are perfectly normal but still somehow act like mini serial killers.

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Well-Dressed Wolf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Children are born without ethics and morals pre-installed. Of course they’re tiny sociopaths until their parents teach them better… and sometimes, not even normal/good parents can teach them better because the kids don’t WANT to learn society’s rules and conform to them.

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#24

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers my mental health and financial situation. i wouldn’t want to raise a kid the same way i was raised.

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#25

It costs too much. The average birth costs like 40k without complications. Decent daycare near me is $1400 a month. That alone is crippling.

It's bad for the environment and I question the morality of putting my children through the potential climate wars and/or apocalypse.

Also, sometimes despite your best efforts and doing everything correctly, your kids turn out to be a**holes.

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Panda Kicki
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The cost issue is really dependent on where you live. We have free maternal care and delivery in Sweden and the max cost of daycare is about 150 dollars for the first kid and cheaper for siblings. (Sweden)

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#26

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers I’ve been clinically depressed for almost a decade. Post partum depression is one of the things that terrifies me about the prospect of having kids. Also I am in no way mentally stable enough to be a parent.

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Glitterati
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pregnancy and childbirth gave me severe ptsd. I had PPD and anxiety. I can’t have any more children due to the impact on my mental health. The struggle is real. I still wouldn’t change a thing as my child is the love of my life but if I had never known that love I wouldn’t miss it.

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#27

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Watching my sister's kid get kicked out of daycare for slamming a kids face into a table and hitting a teacher. he's 3, and the most difficult kid I've met.

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CatGirl
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know that I've ever hated something as much as I've hated the difficult kids I've taught. Just little animals.

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#28

I love my kids but they completely ruined my life and i don't advocate for anyone to have them

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#29

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers My neighbor has 7 of them. The only form of communication in that house is screaming. The teenage boy just screamed in the middle of my typing this. Kid is absolute s***e at whatever game he's trying to play. My work meetings are constantly interrupted by his whiny cursing/crying sessions.

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#30

Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers Pregnancy.
I’ve always been terrified of pregnancy, but I thought I’d feel more comfortable with it as I got older.
Nope. I’m 34 and the thought of being pregnant still freaks me out to no end. I’d love to adopt, but I don’t think I ever want to be pregnant.

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Marianne
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Adoption is so important! Pregnancy is not necessary to be a loving parent!

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