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Dating in the 21st century is by no means easy. As a result, a lot of people are still single even though they would make a wonderful partner. But through various unfortunate twists of fate, it simply hasn’t worked out for them. At the same time, there are those out there who are single for a reason.
So someone asked “What is causing your friend to remain single that you don't have the heart to tell them?” and the people of the internet gave their brutally honest answers. So get comfortable, upvote your favorites, and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Anger issues. In men, this is a non-negotiable red flag for most women.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
Yes, but when you compare gender-specific rates of violent crime, men are overwhelmingly more often the perpetrators.
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LapCat 2 years ago
That’s why I left my husband 3 weeks ago. Would try to control me via anger and making me fearful.
Tamra 2 years ago
I'm so glad you got out of that situation. You deserve better.
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detective miller's hat 2 years ago
Yep. You start shouting in a rage and/or punch a wall, we are DONE. No second chances.
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
Anger issues should be a non-negotiable for anyone in a serious relationship.
Royal Stray 2 years ago
I don't agree. If the person is actively working on it or managing it but has occasional slip-ups then it shouldn't be a deal breaker. (As long as it's an actual mental health issue and not someone being abusive or angry on purpose.) Anger issues don't have to equal abuse, it can just be that someone has problems with controlling their emotions
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Vitiosus The Black Sheep 2 years ago
Would be much better "anger issues are a non-negotiable red flag for most people." Let's not make this a gender thing...
RELATED:
#2
His standards are unrealistic. He’s a 4 or 5 on a good day but is only interested in women if they’re an 8 or higher. He’s also very overweight, but constantly points out women’s weight on dating apps and how it’s a deal breaker if they look to be anything above a US 5. I didn’t realize all of this was to such an extreme until myself and the rest of his friend’s wives sat down and went through dating profiles of different women who liked his profile just for him to continuously criticize their appearance for such mundane reasons. We were trying to give him advice on how to talk to women (per his request) and it became blatantly obvious to all of us why he was struggling. It completely changed my opinion of him.
RaroaRaroa 2 years ago
I wonder if any of these woman he asked for help were straight with him. "Hey bud, you're not exactly a supermodel yourself".
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Jay the not okay 2 years ago
he is the literal human definition of the Chinese acronym 'the toad wants the swan'
Wintermute 2 years ago
Yeah, the problem isn't with the women and deep down he knows that. There's something else that's holding him back from attracting a partner.
Load More Replies... Rae North 2 years ago
Men are dissaluisoned by movies that they can be a 4 and get a 7, 8, etc. When in reality, someone should tell them that they should try dating 'in their own league', they may not want to hear it, but someones got to tell them eventually. Also, older men that have money, they too think they deserve and can get someone out of their league (often they can, but, do you really want someone who only wants you for your money) ?
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
I had a housemate like that in college. For some reason he was just obsessed with finding a woman who was really really skinny. Then he started dating a woman who is very much not skinny, and they got married, and now he's not skinny either. Funny how that works.
#3
Peter Pan syndrome.
My 58 yo friend is a super nice person, but refuses to grow up...he's still mentally 21. Tries to dress like kids in their 20s. Won't date women over 30. Still clubbin (yes, he calls it "clubbin", and yes he's the cringey "old guy at the club"). Goes to skate parks to "hang". Botox his face regularly and has that awful black hair dye job he does himself at home. And talks like a 13 yo, unironically (lots of "likes", and "whatevs", and "brahs"). It's ridiculously embarrassing, and any woman who even partially has her s**t together is completely turned off by him. And he doesn't see it, no matter how gently his friends try to tell him. He calls it being "young at heart". Says that's why he won't date women in his age range, because they don't know how to have fun🙄
In reality, he won't date women in his age range because they call him on his s**t. Younger women are easier for him to control and manipulate. His parents left him quite a bit of money and he simply doesn't understand that this is why 20 yo girls date him.
lenka 2 years ago
This quote really stood out to me.... "In reality, he won't date women in his age range because they call him on his s**t. Younger women are easier for him to control and manipulate. " I think this here is the biggest reason a lot of older men target younger women.
rapid unscheduled disassembly 2 years ago (edited)
I'm 39F and just now discovered raves. I freaking loved it and really want to go again. I love dancing with a bunch of strangers and getting lost in beats that vibrate my skeleton. It's a feeling I've been looking for for years but never could put my finger on. But I'm concerned that I'll be seen as the weird old person there so I'm worried I discovered raves too late.
Donna Peluda 2 years ago
I (m55) prefer going to bars younger people go to, I'm more into the rock blues etc and go to festivals, if anyone thinks I'm creepy F888 them people my age bore me stiff. When I travel for work I regularly go to city's that have university and I love the energy of the kids. I'm not out to chat anyone up.
Glen Ellyn 2 years ago
I have a neighbor like this. He's in his 50s but dresses like a 17-year-old: saggy jeans, sloppy T-shirts, baseball cap worn backwards, boom speakers in his cars (his favorite is a '95 Mustang) and spends his spare time on his cars, but neglects maintaining his house. Nice enough guy, but...🙄
#4
It's not his height. It's his obsession with it.
Awesome At Being Autistic 2 years ago
Exactly. My ex is 5'2", and his constant obsession with his height, and the chip on his shoulder about it, was too much to deal with.
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Absolutely. The reason I date guys taller than me (5'4" or ~ 163cm) is the damn insecurities and obsession with height. It's just way too toxic to handle; like bro, your perfect boob height if im in heels so be happy
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
I don't care if a man is shorter than I am. Unfortunately, HE usually seems to care if I'm the taller one.
Breadcrumb. 2 years ago
The difference in dating short men in Canada compared to Latin America..the Canadian shorties seem to make a big deal out of it. When in Latin America everyone was shorter then me so it was never a issue of insecurities.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
I actually think it's kinda cute when a guy is shorter than his lady. It shows how confident and secure in themselves and each other they both are.
Stylishsidewaysbird 2 years ago
I’m a 5’10” woman and men’s height doesn’t bother me. Unfortunately, they have the problem with being shorter than me and become resentful and passive aggressive over time. I don’t want to paint all shorter men with one brush but man, a girl can only take so much from so many insecure men. Makes me hesitant to date shorter men.
#5
Her standards are excessively too high. She brings nothing to a relationship. She's a walking contradiction, all of which is why she is single.
I think it's great to have standards and high standards but hers is just a checklists of "wants".
Nimitz 2 years ago
One of my many sisters does this. She's a "feminist" but is only interested in men if they're hot, wealthy, hung, and "strong" (meaning not emotionally available). Doesn't seem to matter if they're married or in a relationship. Then she dumps them when they can't cook/clean/take care of her every need and provide for her and give her amazing sex. Like seriously girl, learn to be a partner
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
If you're going to have a checklist for a partner, also make a checklist for yourself with the same standards.
Emma Goransdottir 2 years ago
Why would men choose a woman who doesn't bring anything else to the relationship but a lot of demands to and wants to be treated like a princess? They are people like us and want to be loved and feel special to. It should be taking and giving from both partners
#6
I always wondered why she couldnt get a date because she is gorgeous, until I saw her flirting with someone. First night they met, flirted, swapped numbers. Then, immediately clingy. Talking in baby voice to him and making baby noises. He made a completely inoffensive comment which she found offensive, and threatened to slap him. Not shocking at all when he never called.
Karl 2 years ago
Women who do the “baby talk” thing have always creeped me out. To me it reeks of Freudian daddy issues.
Vic 2 years ago
I didn't know autos got boners.. gotta be careful where I sit in my car....😁😁
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ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
We need to get women like this with the role play incels. They deserve each other.
Julieta S. 2 years ago
HATE the baby voice... what are we, walking back into the womb on this date?
Janet Sparrow 2 years ago
These are the women/girls that always seem to have a "boyfriend". They don't have a boyfriend they have a guy they dated once. Suddenly they try to make them the boyfriend until the drama takes over. Then they cry and complain. C'mon girl!
Apachebathmat 2 years ago
Grown woman in my office does this but only to the manager, “fankoo” and “whaaa whaaa you make baby c-why” she’s in her fifties and I swear, given the chance, I’d never tire of punching her in the trachea
#7
He really is not as nice of a person as he thinks he is.
Kosh1k 2 years ago
Protip: If you have to tell everyone around you how nice a person you are you're probably not as nice as you think.
Daniela Lavanza 2 years ago
Just like on most issue, if you have to underline something that should be obvious, you've just admitted it's not.
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ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
Men: let's prove we are nice with our actions, not say we're nice with our words. Let others say that we're nice because they see and experience it. If that's not said of you, then change your actions not your words.
Junebugjump! 2 years ago
This is surprisingly common. I recently got treated by a nice guy to two takeout tacos, he then expected sex (date three). Yeah, attempting to pressure me for sex for less than $10 means you're an AH. Also, dude was 57. Then broke it off because I'm a prude. Lol. Glad you exposed yourself.
TiNaBoNiNa 2 years ago (edited)
Try to get a sex worker to have sex for less than $10 and she'll laugh in your face. He expects you to "work" for tacos?
Load More Replies... Lena Flising 2 years ago
When it comes to being nice, actions speak louder than words. Show constant niceness to everyone around you, and none of that "I was nice to her so now she owes me sex"; that is the very opposite of being nice.
Terry Tobias 2 years ago
Being "nice" isn't really a compliment... being "kind" is. One's on the outside of a person and the other's from the inside.
RavenTheCat 2 years ago
I tell people i try to be nice, but i Also am fully aware and acknowledge that i can be a total you know what at times. So i always remind people my stress, irritation, frustrations and yada yada are never aimed at someone in particular. Its just a rough day
#8
He's become a full-on incel. According to him, all "females" are going to cheat on him and use him for money (which he doesn't have). A lot of us have distanced ourselves from him because he can't stop himself when he rants that his brother (who he whines about being overweight and short) is engaged while he's still single. The man is 31 and still expects that he will meet a high income virgin who will "support him" so he can focus on his "business ideas" and have no problem having his kids while still working because he considers SAHMs as taking advantage of their husband's.
Jill Rhodry 2 years ago
Don't you just love it when some guy wants a 'traditional' relationship but the woman still has to do paid work as well?
Elio 2 years ago (edited)
Many men will hold women to 1950s standards, but never hold themselves to the same standards of they're the man, so should provide for the wife and kids. Instead, many of these incel types don't work but think a woman will support their misogynistic a$$es.
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#9
Got a now ex-friend (unrelated, that f****r betrayed me and nearly f****d my career over for no discernable reason) who was way into the Andrew Tate s**t. He wondered why he could never get a girl. We all pointed to the literal misogyny s**t - not the buzzwordy type, but like actual "women are inferior beings and you should treat them as such" s**t. Wouldn't have it. Who knew treating people like trash makes them avoid you like the plague? I'm also the single friend, but I know exactly why. I don't put myself out there, and I much prefer the solitary lifestyle. It's stress-free outside of work, and I do everything for myself with no compromising or negotiating. People are stressful, even those you love - and I'm very easily stressed. Frankly, I've got a hell of a lot of soul-searching and self reflection to do before I drag someone else into my life.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 years ago
There's nothing wrong with being single if that's your choice.
Kat Lyle 2 years ago
I choose to be s/nd - the amount of times I've been asked what's wrong with me has gone past annoying.
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Katrina Williams 2 years ago
I love being the single friend. I only have enough space in my love life for me. Plus, I am just too darn lazy for an emotional connection with another person.
Annabel Again 2 years ago
Don't actually be with someone or even spend a lot of time around people to have a good, happy, satisfied life. I tried I really did try relationships, I suppose never say never, but it feels so good to just be alone. I have friends and they know me enough to understand that I only want to see them when I want to see them. so so so nice to not being in a relationship, you mean I could've been doing this the whole time? Or not doing this the whole time I suppose? Whatever works for you I mean whatever really works not just whatever you can put up with whatever you can stand. Keep looking out for number one. You'll never be happy with anyone else if you're not happy with yourself. Much love.
Lena Flising 2 years ago
Those shits teach their minions that women like negging. When women don't like negging (duh!), it's the women that are at fault.
#10
He’s 38, has never lived out of home, never had full time job. Can’t cook, can’t clean and it doesn’t matter cause mommy does all that stuff for him anyway. Unemployment goes on Pop Vinyl’s and video games and renting storage for his Pops because his room can’t hold them any more.
Thinks that any kind of representation is pandering, cause he’s racist, homophobic and ableist. Women who like what he likes are either unattractive or faking it, but he can’t date a woman who doesn’t watch anime or read comic books.
He’s got really good personal hygiene tho and puts his sheets out to be washed by Mum regularly.
TheElderNom 2 years ago
She might fail the "watch anime or read comic books"-criteria.
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Chickie 2 years ago
I see in his future a very rude awakening when Mommy passes away. It's not going to be pretty.
Ace 2 years ago
Had to look up 'pop vinyl'. Apparently it's some sort of toy.doll.figure 'collectible'.
PlatinumThe8-BitCat 2 years ago
Yeah they’re action figures of characters from different tv shows, movies, and video games. I have a few, I think they’re pretty cool
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Shark Lady 2 years ago
She's part of the problem. She could have put her foot down years ago and stopped acting like his housekeeper and maid.
Load More Replies... #11
My mate is gay but openly supports the Conservative Party, this is a turn off to most of the men he’s attracted to and ultimately his political stances stand in the way of him being happy.
Kat Hoth 2 years ago
I do not and never will understand how anyone who isn't old, white, and cis can be a Republican.
Wendy Me 2 years ago
I'm old, white, and cis and do not and will never understand why ANYONE would be a Republican. It's mind boggling.
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Stephen Lyford 2 years ago
Why anyone non-white, female, or non-hetero ever votes conservative is beyond me.
DippityDooDerp 2 years ago
Disliking someone because they support a certain political party, religion or anything else controversial makes you a piece of s**t. You should like or dislike someone for who they are not what they support or believe in.
Phillip Shepard 2 years ago
I'm Gay, Buddhist, veteran and an MD. There is no way I would ever have anything to do with a so-called "conservative" in the USA. I do "dislike" persons who are racists, homophobic, misogynistic, greedy and hold beliefs that conflict with my moral values, science and civil rights. That doesn't make me a POS. It makes me a rational and empathetic person.
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DeoManus Argentem 2 years ago
There isn't any "Conservative Party" in the US - bad pic and/or understanding. Judging by the wording of the text this is UK or Australia. That being said, many people vote against certain of their self-interests, if they deem another interest is more important. Or, ignorance... It's everywhere!
Roland Nijveld 2 years ago
Americans seems to be way too obsessed about politics and on what side someone is. Here most people don't know on what party they vote until its election day 🤣
TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago (edited)
Depends on the country what "Conservative" means - for most europeans the US "Democrats" look like conservativs and the Republicans straight far-right. Here in Germany that would be the "Christian Democratic Union" (sounds worse then they actually are) and the "Free Democratic Party" on the right side of the middle ground
#12
I have a friend who constantly attaches herself to the worst men possible, gets treated like trash, and then reaches out to us for rescue. We tell her every time that the men she are seeing are horrible. Nice guys are always labeled as boring, or she finds an excuse not to be interested. "He has dinner with his mother 2-3 times a week. I'm not dating a momma's boy " But the guy who ditched her at a concert twice? He's alright. At this point, I'm convinced she just likes being rescued
François Bouzigues 2 years ago (edited)
She mistakes attraction for trauma response. There is a way out if she is willing to
I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago
Please advise on what is the way out..I have a friend like this and it's so fùçking frustrating to deal with. It's like talking to a brick wall sometimes. I can't figure out how to get through to her, so what can be done to help her not mistake attraction for trauma response? Thanks so much!
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Karen Startz Richardson 2 years ago
Low self esteem. For some reason, she sees this caliber of man as what she is worthy of. Until she works on herself, this will be a repetitive thing.
Nikole 2 years ago
Co-dependency borne of low self esteem. She probably watched her mom be bullied and/or was bullied herself.
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Lunaofthenest (She/they) 2 years ago
I have a friend like this but it's her s/o. They are a couple of kids & more than 5 years deep & look adorable from the outside. Once I got a glimpse on the inside, it was very depressing. She is victim to every type of emotional abuse in the book and very aware that it's affecting their children. Sadly, she won't even tell him no, much less consider leaving. All of her friends have had to take a step back because it's such a toxic cycle and we've realized we can't save someone who doesn't actually want to be saved.
Barbara Kelly 2 years ago
This friend probably likes drama, as in, "Can I tame this bad boy?" Much comes from the dynamics in one's Family of Origin.
Jessica butts 2 years ago
I get there is a line when it comes to a relationship between mother and son, but a man who treats his mother well is much more likely to be a great partner than a guy who treats his mom like trash. It just shows you how he feels about women in general.
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
Having dinner with parents- provided it’s not too often- can be a good thing. It shows strong family bonds.
PixxelDust 2 years ago
I have a friend like this. They openly admitted to wanting to get hurt. I had to distance myself at that point because I'm a people pleaser and couldn't muster the energy to comfort them constantly
#13
I can smell them. Everyone can smell them.
Emma Goransdottir 2 years ago
Its not easy but surly the right thing to do. They may not sense the smell themself?
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Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
I'm embarrassed to say this was me once. I had become completely scent-blind to the smell of rabbit urine, and had no idea I smelled like it until a friend gently pointed it out to me. Really made an effort not to leave any clothes on the floor where the bunnies could get to them and the problem cleared right up.
KrazyChiMama 2 years ago
The only thing worse than BO is people who think they need to saturate themselves in perfume/cologne to the point you can taste it ...I have a coworker who is a smoker and sprays himself every time he goes out and comes back...I don't mind the smell but it tastes horrible lol
Angela Jester 2 years ago
It can be really hard for some people. A relative of mine has extremely strong BO,despite having good hygiene. It took years to find something worked.
My O My 2 years ago
Triple Dry Roll-On! This stuff works wonders, I swear! Combine it with a normal anti-transpirant spray and I'm good to go. I am sooo glad I found that stuff! I didn't really smell very intense to otheres (I asked a few times) but I hated that I could always smell my own body odour
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Lydsylou 2 years ago
I get paranoid that I smell and I've just got used to the scent. I'd love it if someone told me that I did but so far no one has and for some reason I'm taking that as they are just being polite and I can't convince myself that I don't because what if I do?
SkekVi 2 years ago
This sounds like it might not be about you having BO but about an irrational and obsessive fear that's harming you. I'm pointing this out in case you aren't aware this is what the "obsessive" part of OCD looks like. You don't have to live in fear like that, it's not normal to have that thought all the time and it's a sign you should ask for help in the mental health way. therapistaid has some useful worksheets if you don't have the ability to find a counsellor or dr.
Load More Replies... Royal Stray 2 years ago
Perfume smell them or body odor smell them, cuz the first one can be too much as well
GlamourGhoul 2 years ago
I knew a guy once that very casually asked a room full of people "You ever sit down and you can smell your own stench?" 🤢
Argie Smith 2 years ago
People. Please look up TMAU. People who have it can't do anything about it and not only know but can smell themselves. It's humiliating. Do you think they would just tell you? Think about it.
Edurne 2 years ago
I've always wondered how it's possible that people who have really bad body odor/poor hygiene can't smell themselves..
Lydsylou 2 years ago
Because they smell it all the time they get used to the smell and don't notice. It's the same with any smell, if you worked in a chocolate factory you are soon unable to smell chocolate.
Load More Replies... #14
He can't seem to let go of the idea that women in their 20s don't all want to date men in their 40s. Some do, that's cool, but his dating pool is very small and he is always so confused and mad by that. He just doesn't understand he's not a silver fox, he needs to give women closer to his age a chance.
Julia H 2 years ago
Pretty sure the term will make it as an actual diagnosis one day
Load More Replies... Fat Harry 2 years ago
Why do men in their 40s WANT to date women in their 20s? I'm in my 40s and stepfather to a woman in her 20s and see all the drama that comes with a woman that age. I don't want drama, I want (and have) a woman I can fall asleep in front of the TV with, go to National Trust properties at the weekend, and spent time discussing floral cushions with.
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 2 years ago
Because they want a pretty body, not a partner
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ToGo 2 years ago
Having been in an age gap "relationship" as a teenager, I'm completely put off dating anyone much older than me. I'm 32 and had a guy 53 (the same age as my Mum) ask me out recently and my skin just crawled all over. I know it's different for different people and I'm not writing with the intent of insulting anyone, but 20 years difference gives me the heebie jeebies.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
I have a girlfriend like this. In her 50's. Only attracted to alcoholic men in their 20's. Never goes anywhere. She's been like that since we were 20.
Lena Flising 2 years ago
It ought to be so simple; what does HE think about women of his age? That's probably what younger women think about men of HIS age. Easy-peasy. Besides, the women in their 20's might have dads in their 40's. Women of sound minds do NOT want to date their dad's buddies.
#15
Desperation. From laughing way too hard at mediocre jokes to bringing up marriage on the 1st date, she reeks of it. We have all tried talking to her about it to no avail. The sad thing is that if she was just her regular funny, smart, relaxed self then men would be falling over themselves trying to get her number.
Kaye 2 years ago
Social anxiety? Sometimes I say embarrassing things before I even know what's coming out of my mouth.
UpupaEpops 2 years ago
In my case, it's like that. 😅 I am the most charming person around men I have zero interest in but my anxiety gets the best of me whenever I actually like someone. I hate it. 😫
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Papa 2 years ago
I can empathize with the desperation (though not with the specific behavior mentioned above). I was much the same way until I just decided to give up and quit trying so hard. I met the woman I eventually married (and have now been with for 35 years) less than six months later.
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
If you have to fake a personality to get a partner, it’s not going to work out- for either of you. Admittedly, doing it slightly can be fine, but there is a fine line between satire and fiction.
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
Maybe someday she will end up with a guy she "friend-zoned" first, and he will help her work through this
#16
He has a really strange and off-putting way of interacting with women he sees as a potential partner. I’m a woman too but just a friend and he’s very nice to me and treats me well, but as soon as it’s a woman who’s a romantic interest, he doesn’t treat them like a fellow person, he treats them as something to conquer, as if he was playing a game against them and he must win it. Obviously nobody is really interested in a man like that long-term. I tried gently telling him a few times but he never seemed to really understand what I meant.
UpupaEpops 2 years ago
I have a male friend who is like this. He's 100%. He pretty much saved my life. You could call him 3 a.m. in the pouring rain from the middle of nowhere and he'd come and get you. But the second he's interested in a woman, he will start talking s**t like "I would allow my woman to do a, b and c. I would never allow my woman to do XYZ". It's insanely off-putting.
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Papa 2 years ago
"I tried gently telling him a few times but he never seemed to really understand what I meant." was probably WAY too subtle. Men aren't good at hints. It's entirely possible he didn't even realize you were trying to help. I'd suggest being much more direct. Unless he's also a jerk, in which case I assume he wouldn't be a friend, he will appreciate it.
ConstantlyJon 2 years ago
Definitely a difference between " i tried gently telling him" and "I told him."
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#17
He is just too catholic, he wants this perfect trophy girlfriend that has to be a virgin. The problem is that he also likes to drink too much alcohol and it’s always his way or no way. The girls that he meets are not interested in him, had boyfriends in the past, don’t like his lifestyle or ideologies of a relationship (he wants all the kids god provides).
Luke Branwen 2 years ago
I'd say that the problem here is the sh!tty man, not religion.
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Christopher Walkies 2 years ago
"All the kids God provides." LOL. Best of luck in the 2023 dating scene, Altar Boy.
#18
She is so lovely. So kind, so generous, and so beautiful. But her crippling lack of self esteem is so huge it's visible from space, and her anxiety (and I'm 99% sure her undiagnosed ADHD) means that when she's at all nervous she talks at 100 miles an hour in several directions at once. It's like being handed 8 happy Labrador puppies to try and hold in your arms. I so badly want her to be happy and feel fulfilled but even I find it tiring sometimes.
Vic 2 years ago (edited)
"It's like being handed 8 happy Labrador puppies" now I want someone to do this to me...🐶🐶🐶
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neytjie 2 years ago
Idk she sounds kinda great too me. Except for the self esteem. Get her some help and try to boost her ego a bit. ADHD is nothing to be ashamed of. Getting diagnosed and treated will help her so much
Elizabeth 2 years ago
That person described sounds a little like me. Your comment is awesome and you seem like a good friend.
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BravePanda 2 years ago
I'm glad that I am not the only one who found themselves on this list. I was confident and capable when I was single, but also ableist as hell internally. I had no idea that I was significantly ADHD., between Reject Sensitive Dysphoria and internal ablelism, I was my own enemy. I eventually found a person who loves cuddling with puppies.
Jay the not okay 2 years ago
this also sounds exactly like me, but instead of adhd all my friends say I definitely have undiagnosed bipolar
KrazyChiMama 2 years ago
Maybe you should go see about getting that undiagnosed part out of your life? My only regret was not going sooner.
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Laura Williams 2 years ago
Sounds like me when I am getting manicy. Sorry if it's spelled wrong. I say it never tried to spell it. Lol. Try to help her see it.
#19
Brother-in-law, not friend. But he makes the same jokes about poop and farts all the time. Like, constantly. Yes, some women like potty-humor, but they usually also want it to be funny. He is also very negative; finds insult or something wrong with any situation.
New Everywhere 2 years ago
Ok, I thought I was losing my marbles. "YOU just stay positive" is what I tell myself but no...It is draining as hell right??
Load More Replies... Barbara Kelly 2 years ago
Time for bro-in-law to grow up. Poop and fart jokes are rarely funny to mature adults.
MushroomHead22 2 years ago
not true. toilet humour can be very funny to mature adults, you just need to know how to do it.
Load More Replies... Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
I was going to say, my 5 y/o does this and it's still not funny.
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Laura Williams 2 years ago
Can't stand being around people who get offended by everything. Don't get me wrong, I empathize with almost everybody, but it's just so tiring.
#20
I once had a friend who was 37, had a cr*ppy job, wasn’t attractive, had a mug shot easily found on google and was a bit weird. He would always cry about being lonely, but he refused to date anyone but super hot 21 year old sorority girls. He asked me to look at his dating profile to see why he wasn’t getting any messages back…and he only messaged probably the top 1% of attractive women on the site. One time, after hearing him complain about being lonely for the 1000th time I gently asked him why didn’t he try to date a woman his own age. He said he wasn’t attracted to girls his age. He was so shallow towards women, but expected for the women not to be shallow back.
Lena Flising 2 years ago
If HE is not attracted to people of 37, why would younger women be attracted to people of 37?
Junebugjump! 2 years ago
I recently saw stats about a guy that swiped on 1 million women, chatted with almost 800 and went on a date with 1. Those stats had me choke. It is hard out there.
#21
The people they like aren’t real. They are idealized, cartoonish caricatures. Now my friend himself has a lot to offer imo, but he is looking for a person that doesn’t exist. Hard to find something that’s not there.
Maya Iris 2 years ago
Maybe they were heartbroken before and afraid to try again. Smth nonexistent wouldn't hurt them
Kel_how 2 years ago
In my experience, it's guys who have never dated or dated successfully. They go into potential relationships with idealized, perfect views of the other person. Then they're disappointed when the other person is a real, flawed human who has their own wants and desires.
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One legged Steve 2 years ago
Any man that has an attraction to anime females has a deep issue. Kids I can understand, but not grown a*s men.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
Yeah, I mean, I unfortunately have a crush on a fictional character, but at least he's played by a real person lol or is that worse? >_<
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The CareTaker 2 years ago
I would like to point out that I am a real-life version of "anime" lol, a 7'4 albino Japanese male, sadly I'm married, but liking people that "aren't real" isn't the problem, it is that they like the qualities of the anime person, it's only getting into the "bad" kind if there looking for a Japanese person that looks like the char, sounds like the char, and behaves like them.....
René Sauer 2 years ago
Oh, that costume looks cute 😍 does anybody if its a self-creation or something from a game/show?
Azazels Child 2 years ago
That's a comicon thing!!! Mikasa is on the escalator. That is soooo my type.
#22
The type of guys she claims she likes isn't what she's actually attracted to.
She keeps saying how much she loves shy introverted sensitive guys but when she finds one and dates him suddenly "he's not outgoing enough, doesn't speak his mind enough, and is too shy!"
I kind of think she has this "I can fix him" syndrome and doesn't really acknowledge it. Like, she's attracted to the idea of a typical shy guy but thinks once they're in a relationship they'll suddenly be more open and turn into the guy she actually wants. That's not how it works!
Lena Flising 2 years ago
As a shy, introverted, sensitive woman of 54, I can say that's how we are, we are not going to change any time soon. I've been in a loving relationship for 36 years, and I'm still just as shy, introverted and sensitive as I was when I was 18. Well, I have mellowed a bit with age, don't care what people think about me so much now, but that's only the latest 15 years or so.
Nimitz 2 years ago
As an introvert I was on the receiving end of this from multiple women (before I realized I was gay). 100% tried to change everything about me instead of accepting me as a partner. I was happy with them but man, sure am glad the relationships didn't progress further, especially since a LTR might have prevented me from realizing my true sexuality
Steven Meyer 2 years ago
You can’t meet someone and try to change them- you accept them as they are, or you move on.
#23
She’s really overdue for growing up and learning to self reflect. She really needs to finally grow and allow herself to change. She’s pretty, shes funny, she’s a great time to go out with. Never a dull moment. She’s also not changed much at all since we were teens. She is a mess. Doesn’t clean, doesn’t cook, can’t hold down a job, paycheck to paycheck, prioritizes a good time over everything else, extremely unstable overall. No accountability for how her actions effect her own life and especially the lives of others. Somehow still has high expectations of her potential partners, but she doesn’t bring much to the table and doesn’t seem to ever hold herself to the same standards or “rules”. Sometimes you really do need to slow down and get a grip on your mental health and your life in general first before actively seeking out relationships. I’ve watched her wreck so many people that had good intentions for her without ever even recognizing how she hurt them.
Racing Tadpole 2 years ago
Personality disorders need feedback if they're ever going to grow up or end up alone
Stephanie Barr 2 years ago
Telling people what the problem is and having them act on it are two separate things.
Load More Replies... Jay the not okay 2 years ago
the top half is like exactly me and im scared that this is what I will turn into when I grow up...
Laura Williams 2 years ago
A lot of these really need mental health. I know everyone says it's not bad, but you get labeled. Not that it is bad, just harder for people to get past. Especially ones who automatically say everything you feel is because of your illness.
#24
He lies to himself about almost everything. He lives in fantasy land. He thinks he's in the gym five days a week, eats great, climbs mountains, goes camping, makes loads of money. Reality - pub five days a week, over eats like sh*te, went on one hike in January, can't hold a job and lives paycheck to paycheck.... If you were to confront him with this reality it wouldn't even get through to him.
Barbara Kelly 2 years ago
Living on "affirmations" instead of in the real world. Probably scared to make changes needed for the life he claims to live.
Xitxarel•lo Panda 2 years ago
Poor guy.......I m gonna stop reading this .....I m sad.......a lot of ppl need help regardless he deserved or not :( I use bored panda to read and learn some English and have fun.........this one is breaking my heart
Raphael Biock 2 years ago
Same with a former friend of mine. He was a nice guy, but than one day he started to lie about his life to himself. When he saw what others reached at his age, he tried to compete and even without improving his life, he just told everybody how great he was. His nice girlfriend left him shortly before wedding, but he thought he will get an equivalent one soon. Now he has a silly girl that does not want to work and he still thinks he is the greatest. Dunning-Kruger litteraly confirmed.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Yeah, being delusional or just flat out lying about yourself is a major turn off.
Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
Hey! I go on lots of hikes and the like, they're all here on BP, but hey...
#25
The thing is, I have told him. Repeatedly. Over more then 20 years. He wants a perfect 10 and will dismiss anyone who isn't his ideal. Even if he does start dating someone, within a few months he'll find some nit picky reason to break up with them. Like one time he broke up with a woman because she had a tattoo she never told him about. Because if she wasn't up front about having a tattoo, what other things could she be lying about??? He tried to tell me once that he can't seem to get women to understand that he's not looking for a hookup, he's looking for a wife. I laughed and said "you're in your 40s and going to clubs trying to pick up 21 year olds. You are not looking for a wife." He self sabotages so much and even when you point it out to him, he stares at you like he doesn't comprehend. It makes me sad because he really is a good guy and a great loyal friend, but there is something in him that will not allow him to just let go of this fantasy.
Lisbeth Guz 2 years ago
Someone can be a great friend but a terrible partner, they are not mutually exclusive
Zakaar Bovus 2 years ago
Yup. My best friend can be an amazing friend, but I'd never set him up with anyone.
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RandomEpiBioPerson 2 years ago
Maybe, but there's no real mention of how he actually treats the women he dates, just that he breaks up with them for seemingly dumb reasons after dating for a bit. He could be a jerk, or could be a legitimately decent guy that is stuck on Hallmark ideas love story, and can't understand that relationships aren't like that.
Load More Replies... Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
This reminds me of Seinfeld, where he'd pick one thing wrong with every partner then break up with them. Man hands. Close talker. Etc.
Max Fox 2 years ago
I have a friend who was in his 40s then 50s, and was interested in a relationship that was serious, but hw wasn't interested in getting married or having a family. The only women who wanted that sort of relationship were far younger than him, and he would lose interest after a couple of weeks. Then one day he found a woman who is a bit older than he is and wanted exactly that same sort of relationship that he does. It's been 7 or 8 years now, and they're still happily together. Sometimes people have a sense of what they're looking for, but don't know how to find it.
ormondotvos 2 years ago
I was 45 when I met my wife 28 at a sailing club, I was cooking the barbecue and fed her 1 yr old mushrooms, which supposedly kid didn't like. Then she called me out for using the word egregious without knowing what it meant. Turns out she was too smart to date, so I married her. Worked out fine. 35 years now.
Mr. Stewart (Mr. Stewart) 3 months ago
Women think that a man will change men think that a woman will stay the same
#26
Instead of communicating, she has a short temper and throws a passive aggressive attitude when someone disagrees with her. It could be the most minor issue and she needs to make sure her voice is the most dominant in the conversation. As her friend, I try to keep my opinions neutral and felt like I’ve walked on eggshells with her for close to a decade. She was never problematic to me until recently when she has shown me a side to her that I think led to her recent break up and why she has issues with men long term. I think deep down inside she’s very self-centered and very influenced by the videos she watches on TikTok and IG about how a man should know how to love you and take care of you naturally. Her standards are unrealistic and it’s hard to listen to her perspective of what a man/relationship should be like nowadays.
DumYum 2 years ago
Came here to say that. Had to do it myself and have zero regrets.
Load More Replies... Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 years ago
I'm supposed she's kept any friends either. If you are constantly walking on eggshells around someone it isn't healthy.
liam newton-harding 2 years ago
You are not in a friendship, you are merely a box for her to vent into.
Emma Goransdottir 2 years ago
I don't understand this "take care of me" mentality of some people! I am an adult and can take care of myself and want a man who is grown up and can take care of himself. Together, we can take care of each other when needed.
Azure Adams 2 years ago
cut ties with this one. She's just going to get worse. Friends lift you up not make you walk on eggshells
#27
My wife's friend is a 50 year old virgin, constantly sad about not being able to find anyone. She is a fun person, good energy, not terribly unattractive in the face. But she is overweight (has medical condition that makes it harder to lose weight). She is only interested in physically fit, "manly" men, which don't want anything to do with her. She claims she wants a fit man because being with a fit guy will make her lose weight and get fit. She will not lower her standards at all. She says that dating apps suck cause she only seems to match with guys that work in IT (even though several of her friends have long, successful marriages to IT guys), so I guess they aren't "manly" enough for her either.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 years ago
If she chooses to lose weight and get fitter, she needs to do this for herself, not expect a partner to be her personal trainer!
Lisa Crow 2 years ago
Or expect it to happen through osmosis. It's just not realistic.
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Pheebs 2 years ago
So, IT doesn’t = unfit. You’ll find a lot of people in “nerd” careers tend to have interests outside of work that have NOTHNG to do with tech. Example, my friend and I are both IT nerds. Both of us are in to hand-crafts (woodworking, forging, crochet, etc). Pre-pandemic, he was big on going on hiking trips, and generally getting outside. I like to do yoga, pilates, and oddball outside activities. Don’t judge based on what they do to bring money in (unless it’s illegal, then maybe judge a little bit - or avoid that altogether).
Tom De Paul 2 years ago
Engineers, IT guys, and other "nerds" make the most successful husbands. While lawyers, doctors, and businessmen don't. Which do you prefer?
Wintermute 2 years ago
I know a beautiful, put together woman in her 40s who turned down an opportunity with an attractive, fit, fun IT professional. She says she'll never date a guy in IT for the same reasons as above. She has had 20 years of failed relationships with "tough guys" and yet somehow doesn't see how this formula isn't working. She's currently battling another woman for the interest of a guy in jail for hitting a cop. Amazing really.
Agamemnon O'Neill 2 years ago
You can't be overweight and only interested in thin people and wonder why no one is interested in you.
#28
For my husband’s friend it’s the selfish arrogance. I want what I want, and the subtext was that he never cared about what his girlfriend wanted. He would only go places he wanted to go, which never included her friends or family. He wanted to spend all his money on “collectables” related to scifi movies, DVD’s, figurines etc. Engagement rings were a waste of money, investing, or buying a house ditto, no compromises were possible, he said NO, and no discussions were entertained. His opinion on every topic was the correct one, and he was not interested in your opinion, or listening to extra facts he did not know that might change his mind. He was once young and good looking, and he thought he could find someone else when she walked when he was 32. They had dated for close to a decade. During the relationship he had started to stack on the weight and losing his hair and he was not able to find a replacement. Now he is 49, and hasn’t had a girlfriend since. He still has not bought a house and they cost double what they did when they were dating, and his rent has tripled. He does have a copy of all his favourite movies on every format, VHS, DVD AND BlueRay, a whole bedroom is dedicated to storing them, if you can get in there. His house is a hoarders paradise. He says the reason no one wants him is because he is fat and bald, and it does not help, but it’s not the major turnoff.
Barbara Kelly 2 years ago
It's easy to blame the superficial (fat and bald) rather than the underlying factors. For some people, seriously looking at the situation is too scary.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
I think at least a few of these people should stay just as they are, and save everybody a lot of BS
René Sauer 2 years ago
Well, engagement rings, and marriage in general, are indeed a waste of money. But the rest of this guy? Oof...
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
But showing your girl, that you care is important, and it appears he was unable to do that.
Load More Replies... #29
I found the heart to tell my friend and it was a HUGE mistake. But they kept asking and I thought it was safe to say the truth. My friend is incredibly smart, beautiful, has tons of hobbies, is well traveled, is generous with time and money. Her downfall is she complains about everything! She cannot drive 10 minutes down the road without complaining about drivers, the road, what pedestrians are wearing, that the sky is too blue. It’s exhausting to be around, and I’m 100% sure it’s what keeps her single. Anyways her response was she would rather hear it was her looks than be attacked on her personality. So yeah.
Spring Fisk 2 years ago
The truth may be hard to hear but it was good you told her. Also complaining technically may not be a personality issue. There are several exercises one can do to become more thankful and grateful.
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
I had a good friend like this. Took me waaay too long to realize, though. She’d phone me once a week and spend an hour complaining about her health, her husband, the house, the yard … whatever, and I’d be absolutely exhausted after these calls. One day, I dawned on me that she was using me like a toilet, just dumping stuff on me, without ever bothering to ask me “How are you?” or “How are things going?” It was a one-way relationship. I think it took me so long to pick up on what was going on because she’s a respected author; I think that deep down, I thought someone like her COULDN’T be the problem, that it had to be li’l ol’ me. Nope! But at least there haven’t been exhausting phone calls anymore!
Annabel Again 2 years ago
You did the right thing you were a good French to her in that moment when she needed you to be, and if she doesn't appreciate or understand or accept your honest words that is out of your hands. Thank you for doing the right thing though so many people find it hard to come clean like that Ellie won't help them. Now at least there's a chance she'll wake up.
Pudgy Panda 2 years ago
This is my lonely 76 year old s-I-l to a tee. Lonely, but drives away any potential friends with the constant negativity. I have told her and she has acknowledged it, but sadly nothing ever changes.
bill marsano 2 years ago
I think you just named a social failing: STB or Sky's Too Blue Disease: for people who complain about everything and anything to everyone and anyone.
#30
He's a misogynist looking for a edgy women, while being unable to deal with his mommy-issue. Unable to understand that his attitude toward women drives them away the instant he talks openly to them.
#31
She’s a beautiful girl, like seriously one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in real life, but she needs CONSTANT validation. No man on the planet can give her the validation she requires.
Debbie 2 years ago
She needs validation that she is more then her looks. She needs to know she is valued for her personality. Maybe she asks if she looks good, because that is the thing that stands out most maybe, the "default best quality" she has. Do they like her for her looks, or for who she is. So pretty people can be very insecure as well.
DumYum 2 years ago
Not saying I agree with this but there is an old fable of a father telling his son not to marry the most beautiful woman in the village for she will be never be happy but instead be the most vain and full of herself. Nor should he marry the second most beautiful woman in the village as she will never be content for she will compare herself to the most beautiful and try to out do her. Instead, the son was advised to marry the third most beautiful woman in the village for she will be content and bring joy wherever she goes.
Laura Williams 2 years ago
She needs to find her validation in herself. Especially before you look for long-term.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Being insecure and needy/clingy get really old really fast. My ex was like that. It was exhausting.
Dumdum 2 years ago
I think alot of beautiful people. Don't see themselves like others do. It's. Like oh you have such a beautiful curly hair ore frekkels ore cute nose. And the person themself just hate it. And it can be everything. I hate my shoulders my jawe my forehead my knees. When others just see perfect beauty.
Roland Nijveld 2 years ago
A beautiful woman who knows she's beautiful is not my thing but this is the complete other end. Can't say it's more appealing
#32
She thinks life is a Taylor Swift song. Also she needs to understand that she can’t expect guys she likes to notice her and talk to her first. She’s like “if he doesn’t talk to me first then it’s because he’s not the right one”, like girl, he doesn’t even know you exist!
#33
Cousin actually. She has a revolving door of short-term boyfriends, each and every one of them is "the one" initially, she introduces him to her kids really early on, posts tons of pictures of their date...like every step of their date, then starts to expect them to help with her house and side job (selling crocheted items). And she'll complain to Facebook if they don't drop everything to help her. And when they dump her, they're the problem.
Michael Braisher 2 years ago
Tell her these guys probably feel like they're another one of her projects. Sounds like it.
Julieta S. 2 years ago
Total cringe when they start with the social media overload when they have dated twice.
Laura Williams 2 years ago
Definitely not someone who wants a person to share her life she wants a wallet who can provide for her. Tell her I said good luck.
#34
He keeps dating the crazy women. Like the kind that key your car if you haven't texted them within the hour.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 years ago
Sounds like he might need some help recognising the red flags of domestic abuse.
Brainmas 2 years ago
I have a friend like this. He has no self-esteem and tries to be a rescuer and ends up with controlling, abusive women. He has done some soul searching and made these realizations, but hasn't changed his behavior.
Lisa Crow 2 years ago
Realizing your issues is a great start; but working to do better is another. If he can work on his self-esteem, that could be very helpful to him.
Load More Replies... #35
Not my friend, but my boyfriend’s cousin. He’s always asking my boyfriend how he managed to get me, because I guess he thinks I’m out of my boyfriend’s league (I disagree). Boyfriend never knows how to answer this question and just tells him he’s nice to me and we get along. His cousin is convinced that this can’t be true and there must be cheat codes because there’s no way (in his eyes) I would date my boyfriend. Cousin is actually quite a handsome guy, but it’s his freaking personality that’s driving women away. My boyfriend told me he matches with beautiful women on Tinder all the time and has gone on quite a few dates but they never go anywhere. He insists on using the same handful of “hilarious” pick-up likes (“is your dad a boxer because you’re a knock-out” is his personal favourite), juvenile “dark humour” that would make even a 14-year-old edgelord cringe, goes on long tangents about crypto and all his latest get-rich-quick schemes and just generally acts like these women should be grateful to be on a date with a stud like him. Unsurprisingly, he gets ghosted a lot and can’t understand why. Sometimes the women do send him a polite text saying he’s a great guy but she just didn’t feel a connection and wishes him well, and he blows up at them and tells them they’ve wasted his time. My boyfriend tries a softly-softly approach to getting him to see the error of his ways, and it doesn’t work. I’m sick of hearing him whine that he’s the only one of his friends without a girlfriend. It’s entirely his own fault
#36
Great nice guy. But he still lives with his mom, massively overweight, health in major decline. He won't take care of himself and is clearly looking for someone to save him. Most women don't mind a bit of a fixer upper but he's put zero effort into getting help for himself. You gotta do some of the work too.
Luke Branwen 2 years ago
Might come as a shocker to some people, but maybe he doesn't want/need to be helped/saved? Is his health objectively in decline, or is it a case of "he's fat so of course he's unhealthy"? Some people just can't fathom the fact that a fat person doesn't have to live in permanent misery and they can be okay with their body.
Muppet 2 years ago
Don't disagree with you, but the post did say "health in major decline", so, whether dating or not, this sounds like a problem. Hopefully depression hasn't set in (which can happen often with people with health issue).
Load More Replies... Emma Goransdottir 2 years ago
Sounds like he could have mental issues. Not necessarily, but it could be.
#37
Keeps complaining that the people he dates aren’t “grown up” enough (in his late 30s) but continues to exclusively date 23 year olds from Grindr.
RandomEpiBioPerson 2 years ago
I wouldn't always say cesspool, but all gay guys know you don't go on Grindr for days and relationships. It happens, but super rare. You go on Grindr for "dates"/empty hookups.
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Chelsea McKee 2 years ago
Lol, I'm not sure what people are expecting when they date younger. Everything is new and funny to them. We've already seen it all.
#38
Her terrible, terrible children. It’s why her husband walked out in her in the first place, it’s why we hardly ever hang out anymore, they are truly f*****g awful. she tries to parent them, but they’ve worn her out, and it shows; when she doesn’t have them she comes alive like the entire program just switched from sepia to technicolor. but you can’t tell a mother that her children are *awful*.
Jill Rhodry 2 years ago
Her husband walked out on his worn out wife because their kids are awful? - seriously, the kids need to go live with dad, sounds as though they all deserve each other.
Ron Baza 2 years ago
To be fair, it doesn’t say that the husband was the dad. Or, if he was, that he didn’t try to parent them but she undercut his attempts at discipline, etc.
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Wintermute 2 years ago
Could be ODD, oppositional defiance disorder. Sounds like the kids need professional help.
Laura Williams 2 years ago
She needs to be told. She isn't doing them any favors by giving up. You end up with kids that fail spectacularly. Like drugs,drinking, and jail. Ask her if she wants that.
Junebugjump! 2 years ago
I feel like you should tell a mother her children are awful because she can try to create boundaries and share expectations. As the kids grow older it's easier for them to change their behavior. I'm doing this with my son (young adult), for my peace of mind. Otherwise, he's going to be asked to leave.
Ron Baza 2 years ago
The dad is not mentioned. The former husband is mentioned, but it’s not even stayed that *he* is the children’s father. For all we know the biological father is MIA or dead. You have no solid grounds for blaming the father. Sorry!
Load More Replies... #39
Best friend for years but he is so hopelessly in love and devoted to this woman who has made it clear she just wants to be friends, with no romantic feelings then she turns around and does just enough to get him to stay around, give him false hope, & her to be wrapped around his finger again.
Power puff scientist 2 years ago
these kind of "friendzone" relationships are so said where one person is madly in love and the other person just uses them and keeps them around for whatever selfish reasons.
Purplescales 2 years ago
he's her backup, and she's probably an attention slattern( s l u t), I know that because someone who was treating my brother similarly had the idiocy to tell me. I mean attention feels so flattering but it's a cruel thing to do, equivalent to almost drowning someone and letting them get little snatches of air, only just enough to stay alive but never enough to really feel like you'll survive. Just drop the dude in stead of tormenting him for your own sick amusement.
Lydsylou 2 years ago
A guy ik is hopelessly in love with me (not being boastful he makes it so obvious that other people have commented on it) I told him we could just be friends but he wants to see me so often and texts me so often it feels cruel to stay friends with him who still clearly likes me a lot when I have no interest. It's irritating and other than the constant need to talk to me and go places with me he's a nice guy.
Divyansha Shukla 2 years ago
Having one side love is already hard enough and on the top of that she's using him as her toy, that's sad
#40
Overly loud and party boyish at age 45.
Janet Sparrow 2 years ago
This IS a Taylor Swift sing: And I can see you years from now in a bar Talking over a football game With that same big loud opinion But nobody's listening Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing But all you are is mean
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Like that guy in his late 30s still going on and on about the "big game" when he threw the winning touchdown - in high school.
#41
He is needy and clingy. Also, he moves around a lot and has been in college for the last 15 years. There is a lot going on.
René Sauer 2 years ago
My family was acquainted with another family that lived in a new apartment every 6 months it felt like. Whenever we wanted to visit them we first had to call and ask if they still lived at the last address known to us.
TiNaBoNiNa 2 years ago
Compulsive Degree Syndrome - the all-consuming desire to acquire multiple degrees in multiple fields while never putting any of those degrees to work, fostering the desire to learn but not grow.
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Paul Brown 2 years ago
Professional students. My cousin was one. He stayed in college 12 years.
#42
Her life revolves around helping her parents, whom she still lives with and who do not need her help. Her hobbies include that and obsessing over her very ordinary cats. Mostly hangs out with her mother's friends. If I were a guy, I'd be scared to become part of her life.
Glitterati 2 years ago
She sounds like someone who (shock horror!) enjoys hanging out with her parents and helping them. I don’t find this one that weird unless there’s more to it.
Barbara Kelly 2 years ago
Much depends on the woman's age, the family dynamics, and her dating life (if she dates). Background information like this would be helpful in understanding the situation.
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Moosy Girl 2 years ago
I thought they were dissing me until I reached the part about hanging out with mom’s friends, my mom doesn’t have friends. :p
#43
He keeps hanging on to the past and spending all his time hanging out with ex girlfriends who are unavailable, or women who like him but he doesn’t romantically like.
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 2 years ago
Sounds like he's deliberately avoiding anyone who's romantically available so maybe unconsciously he's not ready for a relationship.
Mike D 2 years ago
And maybe he feels relationships that have no chance take the pressure off and are therefore easier??
Load More Replies... #44
Work and study too much, with no time left to date or to care for the partner (we’re all medical students). It’s tough to tell anyone that pursuing their dream unfortunately means they may have to make peace with romantic loneliness for now.
#45
He is a really nice guy but he is really exhausting. Everything is totally over the top! If he met someone he is total freaking in love...and after a few dates...not anymore. I told him he should go for the women who doesnt make him crazy in love but more like chill in love Ah and he can not shut up! Never!
Aboredpanda 2 years ago
Sounds like some strong ADHD. No judgement, I gave ADD and I'm just recognising some things that people with hyperactivity has issues with. Or you know. Could be hypomania.
Jessie 2 years ago
I think we should be more careful with self-diagnosing people. My sister behaves like this, she has visited multiple psychologists and none of them have found any reason to diagnose her with anything. Sometimes people just don’t behave normally, it’s definitely not always a disorder.
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#46
That despite becoming a multi-millionaire through stocks and crypto, he needs to work on himself. Lack of hygiene and indulging in hedonistic use of substances (alcohol, vapes) can be tolerated for so long and to a certain level. Came to visit me and he left a stain on my bed from his sweat that resembled more a brown body chalk line from a murder. Same trip, dude would buy multiple vapes in a single purchase since every couple minutes he was huffing and puffing them. Other part is actually reducing the amount of toxicity in his life in regards to people, family and the women he is interested in. Large amounts of his time, money but more importantly his mental health have been invested in his end only to be treated poorly. Every time he's visited he's said a version of, "Dude, I want this some day.", referring to my peaceful home, amazing partner, loving pets and all the other investments I've put into my place to make it comfortable and enjoyable. My response has always been to do it, make it happen since nothing is holding him back but himself. Especially since outside my wife and pets, everything in my home was acquired over years and material goods were bought on sales (poor in the beginning, still cheap now). I want him to be happy in whatever way he can be, sucks to see him like this. I try to mention this issues in the most tactful way outside of being brutal because I believe people shouldn't have to be told what to do in their personal lives. I love him but f**k he loves toxicity and poisons.
RandomEpiBioPerson 2 years ago
They also mentioned drinking. I guess it could also depend on what they are vaping. As someone who grew up around potheads and drinkers, it gets extremely boring if that's all someone does.
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#47
He can't seem to understand that when he approaches girls, they don't want to hear about hunting, knives, and how he is very knowledgeable on how to kill things.
Dragonbeard 2 years ago
This is my axe room, my sword room is next-door, and a little further down is my collection of knives and daggers.
Goose of the Ahonkalypse 2 years ago
It's not the interest so much as the approach. There are women who like hunting and knives. He needs to actually go where they are not scare the c**p out of random women at the bar/mall/Starbucks or whatever.
Kat Hoth 2 years ago
Absolutely unrelated, but I met my husband online almost 25 years ago. We lived in different states, so he paid for a ticket to fly to meet him IRL and see where things went. After all that, the point of the story is my sister thought he might be a murderer and didn't want me to go. I wound up moving here, but the 1/2 duplex we rented before buying actually had a hidden cement block room. When I showed it to him we both cracked up. Cell phones weren't as ubiquitous back then, or I would have sent her a pic. :)
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
Yeah… as a long time vegetarian with numerous pets I definitely don’t want to hear about that
Jennifer Brown 2 years ago
AMEN!! If they have a gun sticker on their car it's a definite "no" on my part. Also, don't wear camo unless you are actually hunting or in the military
DetongLhamo 2 years ago
I like to know about things like this straight away so I can get the hell away from someone who gets turned on by causing fear, suffering and death to other living beings.
Jack and Coke 2 years ago
That depends on the girl. I hunt and would gladly listen to see if I'd learn something new. My late husband and I hunted together.
#48
Lack of interests.
He just is a boring person. He does some things that he started to so when he was a kid. But just because it is something regular. Like playing tennis with his dad once a week. There is no development and you cannot get him to do anything he's not used to. Really anything. He has no stories to tell and basically no life. There is no way to connect to him and I am losing connection just because we cannot exchange about new things and we talked about the old stuff for 20+ years now. He's just a kid getting older.
Spring Fisk 2 years ago
I would guess there is a lot of fear in his life. He is safe and familiar with the way things are, anything new is hard and scary. I say this because I have this problem.
#49
She has a long, long way to go in therapy before she'll be able to maintain a healthy long-term relationship. If I did mention it, I'd be "attacking" her and "gaslighting," so I'll let her work on her more pressing mental health issues for now.
#50
She thinks she is the best catch (education, height, natural beauty, job and her own money) however there is nothing attractive about her and her personality: she doesn’t dress up/ spend on herself, talks highly about herself and her career, judges others (not just men but her own friends) on what they earn or how much money they have
Karl 2 years ago (edited)
Friend of mine can’t understand why he can’t get a girlfriend and it’s largely down the fact that he’s a miser who would starve himself for a penny despite several very large income sources. His house has no carpets - just a couple of cheap rugs you constantly trip over and looks like a student squat. He dresses in the same clothes he’s owned for the last 30 years and refuses to switch his central heating on. No one is going to put up with that level of meanness. It’s a shame but no one can tell him anything. A classic case of someone who was a high achiever scholastically but is completely out of his depth when dealing with emotional or social situations. Good exam results and wisdom/life skills are 2 very different things.
Shark Lady 2 years ago
Had an ex like this, there was no grey with him everything was black and white, if you liked something he didn't then he wouldn't even entertain the idea. Going over to his place in the winter was like camping outdoors, I wore so many layers, brought an extra blanket and winter pyjamas and he wondered why I wouldn't wear sexy nightwear for him!
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#51
Have a friend that could *literally* be a model. She's so damn pretty she has a crazy high social media following simply because she's that good looking, I'm talking hundreds of thousands of followers on any given platform (IG, TikTok, Twitter/X, you name it), and thousands of comments on everything she does... and she doesn't even try. If she put in effort to promote herself she probably could be famous. Then I saw her dating profile, and while I won't quote it verbatim, I will hit the major points: * She posted one pic then put her IG handle, telling people to follow her on there to talk to her or see more pics (I know this is divisive, but I hate this practice. To me it's lazy as f**k and entitled as hell). * Just about every other spot that could be a picture was just screenshots of notes listing out everything you either had to be or couldn't do to be worthy. Some of my favorites include: * Must be over 6 feet tall (she's 5'3") * Cannot be Latin, Asian, Middle Eastern or Indian. Must be white, but tan, or black only. * She had a list of names that you couldn't have (which included my own name, kind of made me laugh tbh) * To use her words, "You hafta be a member of the Double Digit Club". Meaning d**k has to be *at least* 10 inches long. * Must make over 100K USD per year after taxes (she specified the taxes part in the list) * Cannot have any kids (she has 2) * Cannot play video games, watch anime, read comic books... basically she had a bunch of things that amounted to "don't do nerdy s**t". * The one other picture that wasn't a list of s**t was [this image](https://i.imgflip.com/3dsfjq.jpg) captioned with the phrase, "Life Goals". Part of me wants to tell her to try and take her down a peg and get her to understand her own delusion is the problem (and the casual racism thrown in definitely doesn't help). Another part of me recognizes that she totally *could* get a guy that meets all her criteria, so it's not as if she's being so delusional that she's striving for something she couldn't obtain... so I know bringing it up is just going to sound kind of silly. Part of me also knows that bringing it up will drive me to ask why my name is on her "You can't have this name" list, and I don't know if that's a conversation I want to have with her.
jade s 2 years ago
What is with the hate about anime and video games. Sometimes people need an outlet to let off steam. I'm 35F and love anime, the story arcs are so much better than many live action series. Many can also capture a lot of difficult emotional topics in a unique way like child abuse, depression, disability and grief. Just because something is animated, doesn't make it childish or nerdy.
Pheebs 2 years ago
I think a lot of people associate anime with neckbeard types obsessed with their waifu pillows. Basically, they see the most extreme people and judge everyone on that because they don’t actually know anything about it.
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Barbara Kelly 2 years ago
Does the poster have a much in common with the person described? The requirement re: the poster's name is a big Red Flag, along with a number of others, suggesting that the friendship is not going to work well. In the poster's shoes, I would do the Gradual Fade (a healthy relationship dance move). .
#52
I have 2: tho one of them is my older sister 1st one: The guy is frankly too stubborn, and refuses to listen. They also don’t make good conversation and have no aspirations to do anything at all. 2nd one is my older sister. Absolute sweetheart, brilliant, and kind… but almost to a fault. She’s too much of a pushover. And she’s also a huge clinger-calling and texting to the point of annoyance, and will legitimately get mad if you don’t respond within 2 seconds. Also she requires a.. lot.. of validation.
#53
Horrid halitosis. It actually has been brought up before, but he never does anything about it Edit: I’m fairly certain that he has gingivitis. His gums are blood red and bleed easily. I’ve told him he probably has gum disease, but he insisted that he has someone in the family who’s a dentist and told him he doesn’t have it
#54
He is so judgemental and lacks any sort of compassion or empathy. He sees the world in black and white only. Can’t imagine how difficult he is to date
#55
Going to a women-only prayer group every Saturday night to pray for a husband is a ridiculous waste of time. Want to get married? Go out and date.
Spring Fisk 2 years ago
Yes! Churches are wonderful places to meet Likeminded people but you have to try. Going to a normal Bible study with guys and girls would be a good start.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
Sadly, these days the dating scene is more about preying than praying.
#56
I've known a lot of guys in my life that don't talk to women like they're human beings. It's absolutely bizarre. I'll be having a normal conversation with the guy, and then a women approaches and enters the conversation. Suddenly, the guy is sucking in their gut, puffing out their chest, and saying the whackest, weirdest, fakest s**t. Its like they think that a woman is basically a thing to trick into some kind of attraction. It implies that they think of women as stupid/oblivious people that need to be manipulated into a relationship. Obviously, the women pick up on this immediate red flag and bail almost instantly.
#57
She is looking for a man to take care of her… but she is a 34 woman with a kid, she needs to learn to take care of herself (and her kid) before she ends up with a well to do narcissist and something bad happens.
#58
Alcoholism.
Nicola Mawson 2 years ago
It's a disease. Granted an active alcoholic isn't fun to be around, to put it mildly
#59
Talking only about himself. All. The. F*****g. Time. Actually this person isn't really my friend, for this exact reason...
#60
He's still working through the death of his fiancee. She died in a car accident and he's been trying to date again, but it'll take a really special woman who's confident enough to not feel like she's constantly competing with a perfect ghost when he wears their rings on a necklace and she's his phone background. I'm sure eventually he'll figure it out when he's had more time, but how do you tell someone they need to move on from something like that if they want to find someone new because no one wants to be second place for the rest of their life? I'll never tell him unless he asks me directly how I'd feel in the position of someone dating him. Someday he'll be healed enough and he'll find what he needs
Deanna Crichley 2 years ago
Everyone grieves differently. It took me a while after my husband died. But I did move on from that space that was primarily wistful and full of an aching longing. I came to feel grateful to have known him, and loved him and be loved by him. Before I met him, I had just about given up on finding love. After he died I felt myself full of belief. Love was possible for me. I found it once, I could find it again! And I did. We have been together for 22 years.
#61
They don’t know how to commit to anything, including a job. It almost feels like a “it’ll happen when it happens” type of ideology and so they don’t even try to make things happen? They act like things will happen on their own? So they’ll meet a person and then that’s it. Meet cute dead in the water.
TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago (edited)
Sounds like depression and anhedonia - something I can relate to a bit too well...
#62
He is cute...it sounds weird but its his catch (and I have confirmed it with many people who know him, including my GF, my parents and his other friends) What it comes down to is this: You see him and get an involuntary "Naaaaaaaaaw" reaction. The same you get, when you see a puppy or a kitten. Everybody instantly adopts him and wants to be friends with him...just nothing more.
#63
I have three friends in this situation, unfortunately. For context, they're all in their mid-thirties. Friend #1 is a very smart, well-employed girl who is fairly successful in her career. Her issue is that she's got this immature, overly materialistic "guy should treat me like a princess and buy me stuff" mindset, along with a good bit of narcissism and no focus on wanting to build a life with someone. She's basically hit the wall for the type of men she wants and predictably, her relationships don't last much longer than a few months at best, usually with drama. Friend #2 is a smart, hardworking guy with a great career. He very much wants to be married and settle down and is an overall standup guy. However, he was his heart on his sleeve and has an overeager personality which comes off as incredibly desperate. Combined with a steady stream of complaining, there's a ton of negative energy that can get tiring fast. Friend #3 has had a rough go mental health wise for the last decade from both personal and professional reasons. His confidence is completely shot and his demons tend to take hold at times. He's working on addressing these issues though which is awesome. It will be a long road of recovery for him but his support network (which includes our friends group) will help him get there.
#64
My friend just goes after toxic guys that only want a quick f**k and her body, not like real relationship. All the fricking time. Litterally yesterday told me she met a guy and I verbally said “ oh no, not again, “ because I know the people she goes after ARENT THERE FOR HER!! 💔 just breaks my heart and just needed to rant sorry 💀💀
#65
He was an attractive, charming, and talented man in his 40s who only dated online. He got a good number of matches; they just never stuck around. He'd often complain on Facebook about how women on eHarmony only talked to him for a day or two before suddenly saying they didn't want to talk anymore or going radio silent. It was to the point that about two-thirds of his Facebook posts were complaints, mostly about dating; the rest were music-related. I'm willing to bet money that many of these women googled him — like you're supposed to when online dating — found all of his b**ching, and ran away. God knows I would if I came across that. He'd post articles about the positives of online dating and then complain about how they were wrong, the specific women he dated, his job, his coworkers, etc. Basically, he used Facebook like Reddit, except Facebook isn't anonymous.
#66
He's self-destructive. He's a good guy, but he constantly makes bad decisions for himself, like drinking too much, not sleeping, maintaining a poor diet, not listening to anyone who wants to help him, not taking care of himself when he's ill. All his girlfriends couldn't handle being with someone who doesn't take care of himself.
TiNaBoNiNa 2 years ago
Sounds like depression to me. Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism Feelings of irritability, frustration, or restlessness Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities Decreased energy, fatigue, or feeling slowed down Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions Difficulty sleeping, waking early in the morning, or oversleeping Changes in appetite or unplanned weight changes Physical aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not have a clear physical cause and do not go away with treatment Thoughts of death or suicide or suicide attempts
#67
He’s painfully inflexible and serious. He likes three things in life and that’s it. Those three things are auto racing, college football, and sometimes video games. He’s also super intelligent and although he means well he often comes across as condescending.
#68
Trust issues and the absolute lack of understanding how to handle women’s attention. The man got burned by an ex of 6 years and since has lost his ability to be himself around women, and constantly destroys his own social reputation with misconstrued reactions and gestures that is off-putting.
#70
She's scared of trying. I wanted to date her at one point but that would have never worked in the long run, partially because she's constantly trying to put things off until the stars align and everything is just right. I'm not supposed to know but she recently got into dating sites and found a guy that she's interested in and they've been texting for a few weeks but have never had a phone call and everytime the guy tries to set up an in person date she gives an excuse as to why they shouldn't yet. She's her own worst enemy and while I love her to death she's gonna be alone for a while until she can learn to fail
#71
She cannot be anywhere close to on time. We’ll set up a game night, and we usually tell her to get there an hour or two before we actually want to start. She still gets there after that. Punctuality seems to completely evade her. Somehow, she makes it to work as a pre-k teacher on time, but never a social engagement.
DetongLhamo 2 years ago
Classic narcissism. She is late because she gets attention from you- it doesn’t matter that it’s negative, you’ve all been thinking and talking about her for 1-2 hours. Next time she’s 15 minutes late, leave, and don’t contact or accept contact from her for a day or 2. If she feels she’s missed out she may not do it again.
MushroomHead22 2 years ago
this is my cousin in a nutshell... although after having his kid and settling down he got a lot better.
Michael Braisher 2 years ago
Maybe that's just a consequence of unwinding. If she's on time for everything, she may pull her hair out.
#72
They talk WAY too much. Even during texting my friend is sending paragraphs to women he just met.
#74
Every new boyfriend is the baby’s new “daddy”….. for a few months. Then she cheats on them with older men at her plant job, practically brags about it to my sister; then wonders why nobody has anything to do with her daughter (which pisses me off the most because she’s so precious) but her mom’s absolutely deranged when it comes to her love life. Doesn’t help the men she f***s typically are married w/ teenage children & the wives usually try to beat her a*s afterwards😑 Literally have no hope for her.
#75
He’s too nice to close and he feels the need to fill silence with awkward small talk. Great job, decent looking dude, in great shape… just… Every girl says the same thing: “Doug? He’s the sweetest! He’s definitely going to find someone who will treat him right!”. It’s just that they want that someone to be a girl that’s not them.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
They're only job interviews if you think they are.
Load More Replies... #76
Friend of a friend. Dude is so self-depricating, like he makes "I'm such a loser" jokes so often that it just becomes uncomfortable. Also my god, he does not know how to have a conversation. He kind of just talks at you instead of talking with you, and it's always just the same things over and over and over again. Listen man, I like FNAF as much as the next person, but we've hung out 10 times and that's all you ever talk about, take a hint. The emotions also just aren't there, if you tell him that you're upset about something he just tried to change the subject instead of even asking you if you're okay. He's also a massive simp. Dude really disliked anime right? Thought it was dumb. But then suddenly when the girl he had a crush on mentioned that she liked anime, suddenly he's into the stuff.
TiNaBoNiNa 2 years ago (edited)
I bet this person was emotionally neglected growing up. He was constantly berated for failing and never praised for trying. A parent constantly called him a loser so the voice in his head calls him that, too. He was never encouraged/allowed to socialize with his peers, so never developed diverse interests or communication skills. To seem like a "normal" person, he pretends to be interested in what they are interested in out of fear of being rejected/made fun of for not liking it.
Marie BellaDonna 2 years ago
Could also be on the spectrum. All of this snacks of masking, RSD, info dumping, etc.
#77
I want to blame his girl "best friend" he claims to not be stuck on, but my man goes out of his way for her. My man is so deep in the friend zone it would take King Arthur to pull him out. He's gone on dates, but they never really make it further than 1 or 2. He's a good dude, good personality, successful and funny.
#78
His self-fulfilling prophecy is f**king up his life. He's not unlovable or ugly or uncared for — but walking through the world expecting rejection at all turns and living in a fog of negativity makes him unattractive. So-and-so isn't hotter than you; that's not the reason they're getting more friends and lovers. It's because they are more positive and interested than you, and people are attracted to that company.
#79
She only wants people with her exact interests that she finds on dating apps. They never live close - so it’s always honeymoon phase immediately and she spends loads of time and money traveling to them. They never seem to put in a fraction of the effort she does. I wish she’d let them put forward the effort.
#80
Insecurity. I'm a firm believer in “you can’t love anyone until you learn to love yourself”.
Ranger Kanootsen 2 years ago
Not true at all. I love my siblings so much that I'd sacrifice anything for them, but I hate myself.
MushroomHead22 2 years ago
loving a family member, and a stranger are 2 different things.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 years ago
Having a good self image can be an great asset in helping people you love because it gives balance and self confidence. But it only an asset, not a requirement.
Doctor Strange 2 years ago
No. You absolutely DON'T need to love yourself first. That attitude is not only not helpful, but downright harmful. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201001/you-dont-need-love-yourself-first
#81
He has terrible bad breath.
Shark Lady 2 years ago
If that's the only thing that seems to be holding him back then his closest friend needs to have a quiet word.
TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago
Has he tried drinking black coffee? It contains chemicals that kill bacteria that are responsible for bad breath
#82
Velcro Velcro shoes, Velcro wallet They are hook and loop fastener mad and the noise seems to drive partners away
wordsupfool 2 years ago
Can you imagine THAT being the thing? The thing that destroys relationships? Ugh... too much velcro! Hilarious. I honestly love it.
#84
My friend is too "nice guy" but it seriously comes off as a neck beard vibe. Ive seen the conversations he has on tinder with chicks and I know id be turning him down too. It makes me sad, he's such a catch and super attractive but no one gives him a go after a conversation because of the nice guy thing. I don't really know how to explain it, its just neck beardy and cring. He's not like that in person but no one ever gives him the chance to show it.
The Goo King 2 years ago (edited)
It's a (mainly US) trope about a certain sort of person. Tries just a bit too hard, places people they are attracted to on a pedestal, and it comes across as creepy. It's just a short hop from there to the whole 'nice guy' and then 'incel' groups. "Neck beard" is because they are often young, try to grow facial hair to look more manly (because they are also bound by male stereotypes) but can only grow a bit on their neck, which typically looks terrible. In the stereotype they are typically also obsessed with oversexualised fictional characters from comics and games, live with parents, can be obsessed with fandoms to the point of being abusive, and struggle with being an adult.
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MushroomHead22 2 years ago
i was also confused at the "neck beard" comment but after The Goo King left an explanation i had a visual of what this person was describing.
#85
Brother in law, not friend: he’s too socially awkward and needs to relax. He sometimes comes off as a creep too. Take a deep breath, relax & ask relevant questions.
MushroomHead22 2 years ago (edited)
"so jim how are you?" .... "never count your chickens before they hatch"....."great talk jim..."
#86
He’s just not great socially. He’s autistic, so he can’t help it. But if people still ghost him after he asks about a date when he’s in his thirties, something is up
Michael Braisher 2 years ago
Penpal sites are greatly overlooked. Have your friend try them. Way less high octane, as it were.
#87
His hobbies are just not social. He is a bit weird, but I think there is some woman out there that fits him. But his hobbies are mainly running, gaming, painting and watching TV. These things can be social if you want, but he chooses to interact with the niches that are not. For example he only plays single player settlement building games. Only ever paints at home. Additionally, he works at a male dominated place.
ThisIsMe 2 years ago
Guy that works for me often talking about wanting to get married and have a family. Loves kids. But doesn't date. Ever. Vacations with his family, occasionally gets together with buddies from high school (he's in mid 30's). Lives along , plays video games and goes to gym. Don't know which gender he would prefer to day, but he isn't doing anything to put himself out there to meet people. He's a super nice guy, good looking, always dresses nice and takes care of himself. But unless someone falls from the sky and lands on his head, I'm afraid he won't find someone.
Jane Doe 2 years ago
Wish you could send him to the women's prayer group on Saturday for that lady praying for a man.
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MushroomHead22 2 years ago
playing video games online as an adult sucks. painting at home can be fun, and maybe is anxious about their work. male dominated work place - strip club?
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What do you think ?
A C 2 years ago
Couldn't read these..however...the title says "friends say" ......and I call BS because saying sh¡t on the internet about others is not afriend move.
Squishy 2 years ago
Agree!! That's stuff you say between you and your friend if it's needed. Not to strangers to get laughs and attention
Load More Replies... Lydsylou 2 years ago
One of my friends has this problem. She does currently have a partner but it took her a while to get one because she's attracted to every guy she sees. Men found it off putting because she couldn't help but hit on other guys. I think she's changed a lot now though, I hardly ever see her anymore
Heather Weather 2 years ago (edited)
Personality matters, a lot. I worked with a truly beautiful man. Ladies at work called him Mr GQ. I am not kidding, he was perhaps the most attractive person I’ve ever met. On paper he was also a catch he had a master’s degree with a solid family and upbringing. This gorgeous man was single, his personality just did not match. He didn’t understand humor or sarcasm, if he didn’t read it in a textbook he didn’t know it, basic world history and current events were lost to him. He wasn’t stupid, but he was…. It was weird? His famous quote to me, that I have never forgotten was, “Getting first dates is easy, second ones not so much.” Eye candy is only so alluring, PERSONALITY MATTERS PEOPLE.
M Calad 2 years ago (edited)
I actually dated a guy like that! He was a good employee, good with his parents, good job and career. And VERY handsome and fit. First red flag came early when he said he had never had a relationship (he was 37!). After one date I figured out why. Omfg, he was misogynistic, arrogant, patronising, know-it-all. I thought "ok, maybe he doesn't know better. I can try to show him a different path". Nope. I was left feeling angry and minimzed after every date. I baptised him chapGPT: he knew everything but whatever he didn't know he would fill it in with whatever stupid idea he could find in his brain and believed it was true. No proof could change his mind. I never met anyone like that. I quit after some dates BUT did tell him why. His answer: I know I am *put adjectives here* but I did an effort not to show you that so you shouldn't feel that way about me. I ran as fast as I could. No regrets. This was quite some years ago. He's still single.
Load More Replies... Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
Unless you're a proctologist doing a self exam. 😂😂
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Eshaa Venkatesh 2 years ago
I know this gorgeous girl, very sweet and a lot of fun to be around. But with the most unrealistic standards in men. Like she wants the whole knight in shining armour/romcom movie star. She's 40 looks and acts like she's 20, dresses like it's 2003. I feel bad, wish someone could sit her down and just talk it out with her.
Joy 2 years ago
My brother, who is 38, is a hard-core Russian Orthodox Christian. He didn't always used to be, but some switch flipped in him several years ago. He wants to find a nice woman to "court" and then marry and have as many kids as God wants them to have. He also wants to live off the land and be 100% self-sufficient. He's a really good guy. He's extremely thoughtful of others. Right now, he temporarily moved in with a man from his church who is dying of cancer so he can take care of him as his family is too far away. He really could easily find a nice woman, if only he didn't have such extreme views.
Negatoris Wrecks 2 years ago
Tom Joad said it best to the one-eyed man: "Now look-a-here, fella. You got that eye wide open. An' ya dirty, ya stink. Ya jus' askin' for it. Ya like it. Lets ya feel sorry for yaself.' Course ya can't get no woman with that empty eye flap-pin' aroun'. Put somepin over it an' wash ya face. You ain't hittin' nobody with no pipe wrench."
A C 2 years ago
Couldn't read these..however...the title says "friends say" ......and I call BS because saying sh¡t on the internet about others is not afriend move.
Squishy 2 years ago
Agree!! That's stuff you say between you and your friend if it's needed. Not to strangers to get laughs and attention
Load More Replies... Lydsylou 2 years ago
One of my friends has this problem. She does currently have a partner but it took her a while to get one because she's attracted to every guy she sees. Men found it off putting because she couldn't help but hit on other guys. I think she's changed a lot now though, I hardly ever see her anymore
Heather Weather 2 years ago (edited)
Personality matters, a lot. I worked with a truly beautiful man. Ladies at work called him Mr GQ. I am not kidding, he was perhaps the most attractive person I’ve ever met. On paper he was also a catch he had a master’s degree with a solid family and upbringing. This gorgeous man was single, his personality just did not match. He didn’t understand humor or sarcasm, if he didn’t read it in a textbook he didn’t know it, basic world history and current events were lost to him. He wasn’t stupid, but he was…. It was weird? His famous quote to me, that I have never forgotten was, “Getting first dates is easy, second ones not so much.” Eye candy is only so alluring, PERSONALITY MATTERS PEOPLE.
M Calad 2 years ago (edited)
I actually dated a guy like that! He was a good employee, good with his parents, good job and career. And VERY handsome and fit. First red flag came early when he said he had never had a relationship (he was 37!). After one date I figured out why. Omfg, he was misogynistic, arrogant, patronising, know-it-all. I thought "ok, maybe he doesn't know better. I can try to show him a different path". Nope. I was left feeling angry and minimzed after every date. I baptised him chapGPT: he knew everything but whatever he didn't know he would fill it in with whatever stupid idea he could find in his brain and believed it was true. No proof could change his mind. I never met anyone like that. I quit after some dates BUT did tell him why. His answer: I know I am *put adjectives here* but I did an effort not to show you that so you shouldn't feel that way about me. I ran as fast as I could. No regrets. This was quite some years ago. He's still single.
Load More Replies... Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
Unless you're a proctologist doing a self exam. 😂😂
Load More Replies... Eshaa Venkatesh 2 years ago
I know this gorgeous girl, very sweet and a lot of fun to be around. But with the most unrealistic standards in men. Like she wants the whole knight in shining armour/romcom movie star. She's 40 looks and acts like she's 20, dresses like it's 2003. I feel bad, wish someone could sit her down and just talk it out with her.
Joy 2 years ago
My brother, who is 38, is a hard-core Russian Orthodox Christian. He didn't always used to be, but some switch flipped in him several years ago. He wants to find a nice woman to "court" and then marry and have as many kids as God wants them to have. He also wants to live off the land and be 100% self-sufficient. He's a really good guy. He's extremely thoughtful of others. Right now, he temporarily moved in with a man from his church who is dying of cancer so he can take care of him as his family is too far away. He really could easily find a nice woman, if only he didn't have such extreme views.
Negatoris Wrecks 2 years ago
Tom Joad said it best to the one-eyed man: "Now look-a-here, fella. You got that eye wide open. An' ya dirty, ya stink. Ya jus' askin' for it. Ya like it. Lets ya feel sorry for yaself.' Course ya can't get no woman with that empty eye flap-pin' aroun'. Put somepin over it an' wash ya face. You ain't hittin' nobody with no pipe wrench."
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