35 Lessons People Admit They Learned Embarrassingly Late In Life, As Shared In This Online Group
It’s no big secret that knowledge is essential to humanity. I mean, just consider all the things we wouldn’t be aware of if people didn’t believe in lifelong learning!
Folks would still think that the Earth was flat and sat on the back of a giant turtle that was flying through space, half of us would’ve perished from hunger and deadly diseases, language wouldn’t have been a thing, and yadda yadda yadda. The point is, we’d have an empty planet.
Most will probably agree that the enthusiasm one has for learning new things fades away straight after schooling, which is somewhat understandable. You know, we get busy with work and whatnot. However, as the saying goes, “It’s never too late to learn,” so even if you’ve just discovered that ponies are not, in fact, little horses – just be glad that you did.
“What’s something you learned ‘embarrassingly late’ in life?” – this internet user turned to one of Reddit’s most enlightening and thought-provoking communities, inviting its members to unveil a couple of things that they happened to learn way too late in life. The now-viral thread managed to garner nearly 36K upvotes as well as 31.8K comments containing some pretty surprising answers.
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This is something my little sister did through high school. We're about 8 years apart so we never overlapped in school.
She's always been a straight-A student, and I found out she worked extra hard because she "wanted to catch up to me" in school. So we could be in school at the same time.
I almost cried.
That's incredibly sweet and wholesome. Obviously your little sister thinks the world of you.
Precious. Says a lot about you that your lil sib wanted to be with you
Yet you decided to be egoistic, instead of easily repeating some classes for your little sister. Shame on you.
While watching Game of Thrones, I asked my husband when dragons went extinct. He had to pause the show for that one.
They haven't gone extinct. I saw them a few years ago on Komodo Island!
I once met a different species of dragon. It was tiny and adorable, but I could never have one as a pet because I don't want to raise insects.
Load More Replies...This is where dragons went. They lie.... Not dead, not asleep. Not waiting, because waiting implies expectation. Possibly the word we're looking for here is... ... dormant. And although the space thy occupy isn't like normal space, nevertheless they are packed in tightly. Not a cubic inch there but is filled by a claw, a talon, a scale, the tip of a tail, so the effect is like one of those trick drawings and your eyeballs eventually realize that the space between each dragon is, in fact, another dragon. They could put you in the mind of a can of sardines, if you thought sardines were huge and scaly and proud and arrogant. And presumably, somewhere, there's a key.
I see Pratchett quotes, I upvote. That's who I be
Load More Replies...I had a work colleague say to me once that all the dinosaurs lived underground. I asked him why he thought that, and he said because that was where all the bones were. At this point I asked if it was the first time he said this out loud?
That Bonsai are not a species of tree, but a way to grow them. Any tree can be a bonsai.
WAIT WHAT I thought Bonsai was a species of tree! You can do that with any tree? Why do they all look the same?
Technically they are. Bonsai is the art of making a small tree look like a minaturized big tree.
Load More Replies...How is that embarrassing? As someone who had no interest in them I didn't know this til my 40s when someone gifted me one and I was researching now to keep it alive.
Some tree species respond better to the harsh treatment (almost no soil, constant pruning of branches, pruning of roots, binding of branches, etc) needed to form a bonsai tree, but it can still be done with a lot of different species.
I always think of this very dark comic about bonsais : 5cbdd6c36cedd.jpg
After describing in detail and delectation the torture the trees are submitted to, last box reads : "F***ing kids ! You're not allowed to climb trees !" "We won't do it again, dad"
I was like, 22? working at a restaurant making myself a salad, and I asked the chef for bumps and he stared at me for like, 60 solid seconds trying to figure out what I wanted. I explained to him I wanted bumps for my salad. I have all the rest of the toppings but now needed bumps.
Guys … my family told me croutons were called bumps my entire life. I called my dad that night and confirmed that bumps are indeed, actually called croutons.
Depending on the restaurant I'm surprised the cook didn't just pull some coke out no questions asked
Unknown is telling us he's worked in the restaurant industry, without telling us he's worked in the restaurant industry.
Load More Replies...Take that out of context and it sounds so wrong. I'm not even sure how, it just does
Load More Replies...Lol, asking for bumps in a commerical kitchens usually gets you a very different substance...
This is kinda adorable, not embarassing at all. I called them "toasties" when I was little. And when i say "when I was little" i mean i occasionally still do so.
Hahaha...they were "salad toast" in my house. But I did know they were called croutons...but salad toast sounds...better lol.
Load More Replies...That was my first thought, dad's playing the long game and it finally paid off 😂
Load More Replies...*lol* what? Families using their own words for stuff is one thing. But they should also keep in mind and teach their children the actual names of stuff.
I'm sorry but how the hell have you not went to the grocery store and seen croutons? How have you not gone to a restaurant and looked at a menu and seen salad w/croutons?
I live near the Hospital for Joint Diseases….when I was a kid I thought it was a special hospital for people who had two different diseases at the same time.
That was literally my first thought until my adult brain slapped the back of the head of my inner child
Everyone knows it’s to treat diseases you catch when smoking Marijuana
I thought that horses had toes until I was 22. I thought the hoof was a “horseshoe” and the toes were tucked inside.
How did I learn how wrong I was, you ask?
I was walking past a cavalry museum and saw a horse statue and loudly remarked “it must hurt so bad when they fold a horse’s toes to put them into the shoe!” Dozens of horse enthusiasts turned and looked at me with wild bewilderment in their eyes.
Early prehistoric horses had toes. When they evolved, the toes slowly started to disappear.
Except for one which they now stand on indefinitely
Load More Replies...Horses have toes. One toe to be precise in each leg and the toenail became the hoof.
All animals have toes they just may not look like ours. Horse's have one large nail and one long toe.
I want to see a picture of what OP thought a horse looked like without "shoes"
Look at prehistoric horses. They had toes. Check out hyracotherium
Load More Replies..."Dozens of Horse enthusiasts turned and looked at me with wild bewilderment in their eyes" made me laugh the most
At least you knew you were in a cavalry museum and not a calvary museum
Countless images/videos of wild mustangs running across the Western plains, yet you never questioned how these wild horses had "shoes".
Horses have toes. The middle toe is elongated and the hoof is the nail of that toe. There are vestigial toes inside the leg.
Some horse are 3 toed, with dew claws like toes, and usually are stripy legs, with dun. Most interesting is the chestnut, which is remains of the structure for the toes that don't exist anymore.
I learned that pork and beans are not called "cowboy beans". I was 18 and asked a grocery store clerk to help me find the "cowboy beans". We were looking everywhere and I was getting frustrated because I know that every store carries these beans. After a while I pick up a pork and beans can with a picture and say "see, it looks just like this!" He says "you mean pork and beans?" Then I realize that my mom called them that so that I would eat them. The look of disappointment from that grocery store clerk haunts me to this day.
Add cut up hot dogs. Tadaaaa! Cowboy beans. Happy 1970’s!
Load More Replies...We called them cowboy beans too growing up haha, my dad told me its because cowboys ate a lot of beans I guess
My uncle tried to give us chewing tobacco when we were kids by advertising it as "cowboy candy"
That's what we call sweet pickled jalapeno slices.
Load More Replies...Grew up calling red kidney beans 'Yippee Beans'...'cos they were cowboy food (btw I'm not American)
When you picked up the can that said pork & beans and it looked exactly like what you wanted you didn't go "oh, these must be them?" And instead went "they look just like these but aren't these?"
When I was ten years old, I considered orgasm to be a nice word for a fart. I told my mother that my stomach hurt from having so many orgasms.
Well, i once got a few slaps from my mom from something similar, kid at school had made up a song ( we where 10 or 11 tops ) and it went like " A, E, I, O, U, VAIS LEVAR NO CU " it was a dumb rime, but ( a part from the voals) it means " you're gonna get it in the a*s " an me with all my Innocence thought it meant " you're gonna get spanked in the a*s " in sum, i sung it Next to my Mother, and got a few slaps, and later, much much later, i understood it meant " you're gonna get sodomized "
This made me laugh so hard. I also put "vais levar no cu" into google translate and got "you're gonna get it up the a*s"
Load More Replies...In my family it's a prub, a backwards burp. Invented by my brilliant children so they could talk naughty without anyone realising.
My 75 year old mother, my 13 year old daughter & I were in NYC. We were in a very public area & my very stubborn mother insisted on sitting on a very specific bench. My daughter & I noticed what was under the bench. A very large, brightly colored dildo. Nobody was sitting anywhere near it. I had to yell at my mom like I was commanding troops. We move across the street & my mom now won't shut up about not sitting there. "Ma, there is a giant dildo under the bench you wanted to sit on". Now as old as my mom is, she has no idea what a dildo is. I was too embarrassed to tell my mom this. So here 13 year grand-daughter had to explain it.
When you're an adult...you shouldn't buy shoes that are "a little loose, incase you get taller".
You can always get heavier, something none of us was thinking about back when our parents got us new shoes.
I like to buy bigger winter boots so I can wear big warm socks. Also after my pregnancies my feet grow one size.
I was in my twenties and eventually figured out the reason why I kept tripping over was that my shoes (which I had bought for myself) were a size too large. New shoes, no more faceplanting on the footpath.
I get 'too big' shoes just because most shoes in the US idea of a toebox is laughable. My feet are basically shaped like flippers (not as helpful with swimming as one might thing) and even tennis shoes and the like all squish your toes to the middle for some weird reason. 'Pardon me mister shoe factory, I wasn't aware I wasn't supposed to have toes'.
When I learned that shoes can be bought in different widths my too-long 18s became just-right 14 double wides. That first pair was like a little slice of heaven on each foot
Load More Replies...A co-worker lost about 100 pounds over the last year, and couldn't realize that her shoes were too big because her feet actually got thinner! Who thinks of overweight feet?????
Your feet actually spread a little as you age, so there comes a point where you should actually go up a size. My father insisted he was a 10, until a shop assistant measured him and he was 10½ to 11.
Your feet absolutely can get larger as an adult. Especially if you go barefoot a lot.
That you don't have to stand *in* the shower while the water warms up.
I'm feeling personally attacked by this list. I just stood at the other end so I didn't get splashed
Yeah, me too. I don't know why I endured this. But one day I just stepped out and let the water get warm and I felt like, "I have found out something great, people need to know about this discovery!" Until then I would point the shower head away from me against the wall, the cold water would run over my feet and it was awful and I hated it.
I still do this. The water takes 10 seconds to get hot, I really don't care about these 10 seconds of cold water at my feet. Getting the room wet when opening the shower door while the shower is running would be worse.
Load More Replies...Growing up we had a shower door. Didnt know that the curtain was supposed to be on the inside of the tub, flooded a hotel room floor and found out pretty quick.
It doesn't help that TV and movies usually show a shower curtain on the outside, because it just looks better that way. My parents were very careful to teach my brother and I this when we moved into a house with the shower over the bath, for exactly that reason. I have to use a bath board these days (it's a mobility aid, fixed in place over a bath so that a person with reduced mobility can sit on it and swing their legs over and into the bath. It's also a handy place to sit down for a short break if needed). I discovered that the shower at my parents' house sprays a lot further than mine does, and because the bath board obstructs the shower curtain there was a slight flooding situation. I am now very careful about asking them to reposition the showerhead too when they set everything up for me!
Load More Replies...Wait, people actually do this? Why? Are you a glutton for punishment? :)
I do. It's getting warmer by the minute inside, it stays the same outside 🙃
Wow, unless you are a young child, this is proof for some that common sense is just not that common… 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
I take the attachment and put it on the bottom, then stand in the shower. If you can do that you can stay there until it warms up :)
Saving water! You just had your own environmentalism way in advance ;-)
I though Mick Jagger’s name was McJagger, and people just never said his first name for some reason.
Years ago, a TV host was talking about an actress called D'Meemaw. Couldn't work out who on earth she meant till a few days later, I realised she was talking about Demi Moore.
I thought that Van Morrison was a band. Like Van Halen. LOL! A friend in college looked at me like I had 3 heads when I referred to Van Morrison as "they". I still feel stupid about it.
as a kid I thought JLo was called Jenni Ferlopez lol It's just, as a Latin American person myself, I've never seen her as a Latina but must like an American singer, so in my mind it was impossible that someone from the US had the Lopez surname. In fact, if someone here in Mexico is called Jennifer Lopez, or Bryan Gonzalez or any combination like that, people will most likely make fun of it, because of how odd it sounds, so it was just unthinkable that a renowned artist would be called like that. I wasn't that old though, probably like 6 or 7 when I started watching her videos on MTV and I could read the credits.
Jackalopes are mythical creatures. I was... 18 I think? To be fair, I've seen a platypus, rhino, and a giraffe. Those are some bs animals.
How can you say they are mythical, then provide clear photographic evidence of their existence?
Because BP posted that photo… OP didn’t post any picture on their Reddit comment.
Load More Replies...I was very disappointed when I learned jackalopes are just a taxidermy's Frankenstein creation. I was in my 20s. I'm still stubbornly hoping they're real and not discovered yet.
Don't worry...learned Narwhals are real at 35. Saw a documentary on sea life...when the got to Narwhals I exclaimed "They are real?"
They're why people thought unicorns were real for a LONG time.
Load More Replies...The chuupa Cabrera. Anyone? I'll show myself out.
Load More Replies...I remember my then GF seeing an okapi in the London zoo... She was in complete disbelief, having never heard/seen/noted any reference to them. I was in similar disbelief that this would be possible; then I found out my local zoo that I'd gone to weekly as a child actually is actually the coordinator of all okapi breeding and conservation efforts.
Lol I just learned that I have a jackalope stuffed animal from when I was little
That pineapples grow on the ground, and not in a tree
Me either. 56-years old AND my dad was a farmer (California not in the tropics).
Load More Replies...Look at that beautiful fruit. Just waiting to get ripe and go on top of my pizza.
It also takes about 3 years for the fruit to mature that's why pineapple costs so much as it's an investment.
I did know this! My grandpa used to be a schoolteacher in Hawaii before I was born, and he would work on pineapple farms in th summer. He used to have these giant machete things used to harvest them or something.
When I was 14 my family went to Hawaii and we drove by the Dole pineapple farm. I said “hey! I didn’t know pineapples grew on the ground.” My mom was surprised and asked where I thought they grew. I answered “I never really thought about it, but if you asked I would’ve said on a tree.”
You don't have to rip the plastic top off of your new deodorant with your teeth or pliers or anything. You can just turn the base until it comes up enough to just take it off.
I will become a statute for the next several seconds while I contemplate my stupidness
I saw my wife do this once for the first time. All I could do is stare at my deodorant..
My SO nearly shat himself when I told him this. Literally walked to the front door and chucked it out onto the lawn saying he was too stupid for deodorant. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I was staying at my daughters for a visit, she had just bought a new deoderant and was sitting in the dining room with me before putting her purchase away. She opened the deoderant and proceeded to bight the top covering off, i had to show her that turning the stuck up a wee bit it pops off itself. she was 47 at the time LOL
Houston is not the name of the guy astronauts talk to
Ow lord. That reminds me of the time I had a car break down whilst visiting the UK over 20 years ago. The AA dude that picked me up kept referring to this guy called 'Leon'. Leon said this, Leon said that, etc. I just sort of nodded, pretending I knew what he was talkind about. It wasn't till Ifinally got home two days later I realised he was talking about Lyon, the French city where my local breakdown service had their European headquarters...
Only a person named Houston can talk to the astronauts, lucky bastards...
When I was young, there were brothers named Houston, Dallas, and Austin.
Yep his name was Hugh stunn, why do you think he turned the engines off remotely.
I suspected it was the same with lots of people but I found out it wasn't gorilla warfare but guerrilla warfare maybe in my twenties. The disappoints of growing up... they just keep coming.
When I was little I was watching the evening news with my mom and grandmother when a story about guerilla warfare in Nicaragua came on. I asked how they taught the gorillas to use machine guns. Mom and Granny laughed for a LONG time.
I too was terrified at the thought of armed gorillas. Pesky news with their misinformation XD
Load More Replies...Dude... Well in all fairness Im Portuguese só war on Portuguese is "guerra " from " guerra to guerrilha " its preety close, but still...
The English term is stolen from Spanish, so pretty close by. And it also crosses into French well (guerre), and I think Italian. Oddly enough though, it's not derived from Latin - it's one of the other old Italian languages. (It's bellam in Latin, iirc. It stuck in my head because it's so very different from what I expected)
Load More Replies...I got in trouble for drawing a gorilla in a tank in my history notebook to help me remember the term ‘guerilla warfare’
That's what this made me think of! https://images.app.goo.gl/beu6ZfLAAwwLAr427
Load More Replies...How embarrassing. I think I just TIL that. I've seen the spelling but I still thought it had to do with sneaking through the jungle, using trees or whatever to advantage - like gorillas might. Internet tells me etymology ofguerrilla is - "early 19th century (introduced during the Peninsular War): from Spanish, diminutive of guerra ‘war’. Guerra means war. So guerrilla warfare is literally "war warfare". sounds weird when broken down like that.
What the f**k did you just f*****g say about me, you little b***h? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces...
I used to wonder how they could train gorillas so well.
I was probably 21 or 22 when I learned that whole milk is only 3% fat. I always thought it was 100, and when I saw reduced as being 2% I thought "why wouldn't they do 50% or somewhere in the middle?"
I spent a good amount of my childhood in Quebec and the milk cartons there say 3.5% milk fat in place of whole milk or I might have learned this well into adulthood as well
4% on average. The rest is protein, sugars (lactose, specifically), some vitamins and minerals, and, most of all, water.
Load More Replies...After milking the cow, if you let it sit, the fat/cream comes to the top. If you mix it back in, it is whole milk, it has the whole amount of fat. If you take off a percentage before mixing it back in, it's 1-2% of the whole amount of fat. If you take it all off it's skim milk. The the fat you take off can be whipping cream or similar, if you mix it in with an equal amount of milk (50% cream 50%milk) that's half and half.....feel free to correct if wrong, this is what I know from living in a dairy enthusiast area
Learned this yesterday, actually… apparently you need to RSVP to events even if you will not be attending.
You could say it's more polite and important to tell a host that you when won't be coming that if you will
Well you must have lots of company in that, since so many people do not have the courtesy to reply.
You didn’t come from the Deep South with a Grande Dame mother. I learned that in elementary school.
No it doesn't. Not universally. Even some definitions say "request confirmation of attendance."
My sister was in her 50's when she found out the meaning of: "you have an addictive personality". She thought after all these years of therapy that it meant that people were addicted to her personality. We laugh hysterically when we talk about this (in a very sad way).
It's when you become hooked on something easily, like certain foods, beverages, people, hobbies, drugs, etc. It can be just about anything. At least I think that's what it means. It took me way too long to figure it out and I'm not even 100% sure I got it right.
Load More Replies...As someone with an addictive personality. Both ways. Like your sister.. I think this is hilarious
So, after years of being in therapy, her therapist never explained this to her? Did the therapist diagnose her as a narcissist?
It's because that term is careless and i can't believe how often people use it as if it makes sense. It should be "addiction-prone."
Just this week I found out about the little button on the back of the socket driver that pushes the socket off. I have owned the same socket set for about 30 years, and I have a dedicated screwdriver that I keep with my sockets and use to pry them off when I’m done using them.
I will be 55 years old soon.
Hopefully you at least knew about the button/switch that changes the direction the socket spins, or did you have one socket wrench for tightening things and another one for loosening things? 😆
hmm. well i know about the direction switch but i dont think i ever noticed a button to pop off the socket. now i have to go check the tools.
Load More Replies...Improvise! Adapt! Overcome! (anything to avoid reading the instruction manual)
This is funny. But to avoid anyone busting their brain - not all socket wrenches have that button. Many just use the friction created by a small spring behind the ball bearing that holds the socket in. A common example would be a socket extension which does not have a button on top. Button ones are good, but slightly harder to manufacture I think so cheap ones tend to not have.
I was going to say! My socket set is quite a bit older than I am (it was my grandfather's), and all I have to to is just pull gently, because it's on a ball bearing. So it's not even just a new thing for sockets to be like that - mine is around 50 years old.
Load More Replies...My old driver did not have the lock. I purchased a new one and took it back because 'the sockets wont go on it'. The young lady showed me how the latch works; I was 68!
I do, my 2 ratchets are both faulty,one will do up and one will undo so it makes a perfect set.
Wow. I've never heard anyone admit thus. I thought sockets were near impossible to remove if you don't release them
Similar to this - I learned recently that most screwdrivers have a magnetic tip to hold the screw in place.
I was 19 when I learned that women have to give birth (or at least be pregnant) to have breast milk. I'd always thought that it's available at all times. I was a very sheltered kid. Don't judge me.
That's not too embarrassing, I see why one would think that. Especially without proper Sex Ed.
Which almost everyone in the US has received - somehow there is the pervasive believe that learning how your body actually works will make teens interested in sex. In fact, by breathing, most teens are interested in sex. Keeping them poorly informed also helps them become interested in become unplanned parents.
Load More Replies...No one has commented on several of these. I will have to check comments later.
most of it is long sentences about how breast milk works
Load More Replies...Unfortunate females with pituitary gland tumors can have breast milk production outside of motherhood. Prolactin levels go haywire.
Yes, I have prolactinoma. It's a benign tumor in the pituitary gland. That gland is what release prolactin (Hence, lactation) during pregnancy, but also when you are preparing to nurse a child, regardless of being pregnant or not. Wet-nursing or cross-nursing is a thing. Men can get prolactinoma, too, and experience the same symptoms. Babies can also leak milk. It was once referred to as "witch's milk". I learned that in prenatal class.
Load More Replies...This is inaccurate. Milk is not stored in breasts. It is produced in response to a baby suckling, or a breast pump mimicking suckling. Giving birth, or even being pregnant, isn't always required. Lactation can be induced. There are woman who have successfully breastfed adopted babies. It's unusual, and it needs a lot of dedication, but it can be done.
Some of this is true, but I will challenge your "milk is not stored in the breasts." Any mother who has experienced engorgement can tell you otherwise. Milk is also produced in the breasts between feedings, but it is stored and then tiny muscles around the milk ducts tighten to move the milk out in response to baby suckling. Once the milk starts flowing (or jetting for some of us!) baby just has to swallow. It's called let down reflex and it is the weirdest feeling.
Load More Replies...A woman doesn't have to be pregnant to produce milk. It can happen naturally or be induced, if that's your thing.
Actually they don't. Pregnancy is by far the most common reason for women lactating but women (and even men) can lactate for other reasons. Google Galactorrhea. I've known at least two women who had issues with this, both related to medications / health issues outside of pregnancy. "Galactorrhea happens to around 20 to 25 percent of women"
Until I was in school for environmental studies, I thought “mourning dove” was “morning dove.” I usually heard them calling in the mornings, so “morning” made sense to me.
Mourning is to describe the sound of their calls as its slightly more melancholy in sound than day a Eurasian dove. Mourning doves are my favorite though.
"Coo, cooOOooOO. Coo" For the love of god it's 6am go coo in someone else's window...
I learned this on the morning of my Aunt Terry's wedding when I was 5 and one of her flower girls. We were getting ready at my grandfather's house and my sister and I were playing on the front lawn. We could hear mourning doves cooing and I asked our mother what bird was making such a sad noise. And she explained to us what the word mourning means and why the doves are named that.
I like that... I think we should start calling them Morning Dove... sounds so much better
And I just realized doves were just white pigeons :/ let me ponder about why I’ve taken so long to know this
You're not alone, OP. Except I discovered the truth from Good Ol' Dr. Internet.
Coca and cocoa are two different plants, not one magical organism lol
Yea mate, cocoa makes you feel warm ínside and happy, Coca makes you f*****g fly and search for ninjas in the backyard....
If that is not the best description of cocoa and coca, I don't know what. Gave you an upvote.
Load More Replies...Coca leaves are chewed by indigenous peoples to give them energy, like a long-lasting version of sugar or carb energy. However, unlike synthesized cocaine, coca leaves, from which cocaine was originally made, are not at all addictive. It’s the synthesizing process that makes it stronger and creates the addictive quality.
I never noticed the spelling difference.. holy s**t I just thought y'all did weird s**t to the leaves idk man
That Cheesecake Factory is a restaurant and not an assembly line of workers making cheesecake. I always envisioned you would go in there and watch them and eat a slice, sort of like a brewery. Edit: I’d like to add that I’ve lived in close proximity to multiple locations my entire life, and my sister used to go all the time with her friends. I thought they all just really liked the cheesecake, and the factory vibe of it all. It’s not until my now fiancé asked me to meet her and her friend there for drinks that I figured it all out, at about age 22-23 lol
I used to love them, but they started adding slices of cake in most of them and I can't deal with that, it really hurts my stomach. Weirdly I can have the cheesecake without the cake in it.
Load More Replies...As someone who doesn't live in the US, this seems like a perfectly reasonable assumption.
Well if you live in Chicago there's a place called Eli's Cheesecakes best in the Windy City and it's basically a warehouse where they make cheesecakes. I remember once my family went there because they were having a sale to get rid of inventory. Best moment of my life. I'd never had so much cheesecake in my house until that day.
As a non-American, it was only very very recently that I found out that The Cheesecake Factory wasn't in fact just a made-up place where Penny worked in The Big Bang Theory.
Same, I was so excited when we went on our honeymoon to Hawaii and I saw one! It has the biggest menu in the world, it is crazy! It also does the best peach Bellini. There was always a long wait for a table though.
Load More Replies...I've been to a cheese factory where you watched them and then ate cheese, it was glorious.
Lol! It's like Krispy Kreme Donuts--you can watch the donuts on the conveyor belt getting glazed. 🤪
I LIVED for when that red "HOT" donuts sign was lit up!!!
Load More Replies...
Birds have sex. I thought that the mother bird laid the egg and the father fertilised it later. I was 18 and asked my mother what the birds were doing…
Let me tell you 'bout the birds the bees and the flowers and the trees...
I had the misfortune of watching a documentary about birds several years ago. Let's just say watching ostriches doing it is an extremely traumatizing experience for a 10 year old.
Mommy, why is that horse trying to get a ride from the other one?
Load More Replies...I was taught it's fine to flush tampons down the toilet, and would even flush pads, and sponges when I'd clean the bathroom. I didn't learn that it was a *huge* no no until sometime in my mid to late 20's. I'm surprised the pipes at the house I grew up in weren't constantly exploding.
I think a piece of my soul just died. Don’t flush *anything* other than TP and the product. Even ‘flushable’ wipes wreak havoc on your plumbing… as we discovered upon returning from sabbatical. The house sitter had flushed baby wipes down the toilet… cost about $300 to fix.
In a good plumbing system, tampons do not block the line. But the cotton in them does not break down quickly. So in septic systems extra stuff like that just sits there. I worked for a while in a city sewage treatment plant. An augur pump called the 'grit pump' would separate heavies / solids into a hopper. Stuff that wouldn't go into the treatment. I saw rocks, tampons, condoms, nail clippers, a hotwheel car, a mint tin .... etc. My house has septic. I don't put anything in I don't have to. Even TP if I just used it to blow my nose or something. TLDR: It is a toilet not a trash can.
I got reamed by a plumber about flushing a tampon... I didn't flush anything else but tp.... but yeah they shouldn't say "flusheable" on the package if they shouldn't be flushed!!!!
For real, I don’t know why this isn’t more of a warning on feminine products.
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Load More Replies...There needs to be clarification here between the TAMPON and the APPLICATOR.
I was taught that when I was introduced to tampons (my mum was actually pretty great about all that), but once at a sleepover I found an applicator floating in the toilet. I didn't make a fuss, just fished it out, put it in the bin and, because it was just as we actually were about to go to sleep and the lights were out, made a statement to the room in general, as an FYI. To this day I don't know who the actual culprit was.
Load More Replies...I had to teach a group of women at my job why you can't flush tampons. I threw one in a sink full of water. I will never forget their gasps of surprise when they saw how big it became.
Sad thing.....I actually was the one to tell my family this! family of 3 females and they have been doing it {all too old to have them now and one has a hysterectomy so no problem now} It just so happened that we had a really really good flush system
Ah, maybe this explains why my sister's bathroom toilet got clogged so often when we were teens. At the time I just thought she used too much TP.
I knew pads and sponges weren't to be flushed, but I flushed tampons with no issue. I stopped using them after the whole toxic shock thing became news in the 80s. I can't imagine not flushing them, even though I now know that our sewage system isn't equipped to deal with them.
Heh. This reminds me of my poor landlord. We were about the same age and he kept vaguely requesting I not flush "them" (that's all he said) down the toilet. When pressed, he added "y'know...those things". His exasperated wife turned to me and said "Pads. He's trying to say pads." Poor guy.
the saying is: "Nip it in the bud" and not in fact *nip it in the butt*
I knew exactly what the saying was thanks to Barney on the Andy Griffith Show.
I had a friend who would say " I gave ( insert name) the slit. No, no you didnt , you gave them the slip.
I had a friend who used to throw her hands up and say "it's a doggie dog world!". Instead of 'Dog eat dog'. I asked her what she meant, and she shouted THE WORLD IS FULL OF DOGS!
As Barney Fife would always say, "nip it in the bud." (ref: The Andy Griffith Show, for those who may not be familiar)
My father constantly would watch reruns of it on Tv.
Load More Replies...Despite many of us being nipped in the butt by our rambunctious animals, this is a botanical reference.
Narwhals are real animals I thought they were mythical like unicorns.
Unicorns are real! I should know! I almost died getting this picture! Dz7kyKvXgAAF31A.jpg
Narhwales ARE unicorns! They were hunted almost to extinction so they went back into the oceans, to escape us.
Wait just a gosh darn minute… *googles cetacean evolution* OH SHI-
Load More Replies...My sister in law actually thought this exact same thing! The only place she had seen one was in the movie Elf. LOL!
Unicorns are real. Fanciful artists in Northern Europe just didn't pay much attention to the description. First, consider that the ancients used the word for "horse" so liberally that "hippo" actually means "horse. " A hippopatamus is a "river horse!" Now, imagine a "horse" with a horn ON ITS NOSE, legs as thick as a tree, skin like an elephant's, strong as a battle ram and enormously wide. Because that's how unicorns were described. Any animals come to mind? Like, say a rhinoceros?
That in Billy Joel‘s hit song „We didn’t start the fire“ the line of „homeless vets“ meant homeless veterans and not homeless veterinarians. I was about twenty five before i put those pieces together, and always thought there was a big homeless veterinarian problem I had never heard about
In most countries we don't spend our whole existence at war. So Vets ONLY means people who look after animals. I thought the nation of vietnam must have had terrible animal welfare problems because growing up in the 80s there were so many movies about traumatised and violent Vietnam Vets.
So I had to watch the video again and listen to the words. I forgot how awesome that vid was.
I'd never heard the term vet used in relation to army (or more widely military)veterans until my late 20's so I had a similar thought. I think it's an pretty common American term, but not in wide usage elsewhere in the world as i come from a military family but not am not from the USA. I thought it referred to animal medical professionals, even though that seemed oddly specific!
Song lyrics are so tough sometimes. So many singers don't enunciate. Like "Hotel California." Evidently I am not alone in thinking for years that it was "Cool Whip in my hair" instead of "Cool wind in my hair." Ah well.
There are a few books out with common misheard lyrics. My favorite was He's Got the Whole World in His Pants.
Load More Replies...I had the sheet music, so I never had trouble with Simon and Garfunkel. However, one of our state senators at the time was Paul Simon, which really confused me.
Load More Replies...One of Billy Joel's best songs. Listing the most historical moments of the late 1940's-early 1980's, from McCarthyism to the JFK assassination to Watergate, the Korean War, the Cold War and the Vietnam War to Queen Elizabeth's coronation and Beatlemania. In a way, the song itself seems relevant today if there was a modern remake of it going from the late 1980's-early 2020's. As years go by, things seem to get worse and worse.
Not me but my mom: waiting for the shower to be warm BEFORE stepping in.
She grew up with a bathtub most of her life, and didn't get a shower until she moved out of my grandparents' place in her 20s.
She was apparently talking to a coworker about the winter weather one morning. While lamenting, she goes, "And don't you just HATE getting into a cold shower on these cold days?! It takes SO LONG for the water to get warm!"
Coworker: "Uh... Cheryl.... You know you can just WAIT until the water gets warm, THEN hop in...."
Can't believe that this is an issue. The cold water is good for you and your skin. Start out cold, 3 minutes warm, the. Last minute cold again.
In water conserving states here in the US, you actually can have a water saving thing that will keep the water at a trickle until it comes up to temperature.
Again... unless you have a fixed showerhead you can put it on the bottom.
This one always surprises me. Like, DUH - you know the water is going to get warm, right?
I was about 14-15 when we got a shower, and I knew not to stand in the cold spray until it warmed.
Hotels pump water around in a loop so it is hot as soon as you open the tap. Complicated, but I guess it saves water.
I thought that ‘prima donna' was 'pre-Madonna' and that it meant everything before the singer Madonna and just assumed she was some kind of universal queen.
Everybody's worried about the boot and not the poor child's skin she stole???
I grew up with her and for a LONG time she was the queen. I'm not sure what she's doing these days as I'm not much a huge fan of hers anymore. I just let her be. She doesn't know how not to be relevant and it's coming off wrong sometimes I think. But I also think that she can decide when she wants to retire or not. If she still wants to work, I say let her work.
I grew up with Madonna too and I don't think any youngsters can understand how amazing she was she was uber cool and we all wanted to be her. I think the younger generation probably just see her as some sad old lady.
Load More Replies...I have never thought that Madonna was a good person. To put it mildly she seems to be a self centered, arrogant, rude, jerk. For many years she made some fantastic music, wrote some very good, touching, thoughtful lyrics that I was surprised came from someone as terrible as she seems to be. She has not aged gracefully, that’s for sure.
tbh if anything, it's precisely in recent years that I've started to get to like her. She seems much more humble now in interviews. She's smarter and kinder than she seems. Maybe her latest image is not my cup of tea, but her talent is undeniable.
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I was maybe 17 or 18 before learning that it was Timbuktu, not Timbuk 2. I thought there was an original Timbuk out there somewhere
To be fair, there's a company called Timbuk2 that manufactures and sells really great messenger bags and knapsacks.
For some reason this made me laugh more than the post.
Load More Replies...So is Timbuktu a real place then? And not just a place my mam would reference when talking about somewhere far away?
I used to think it was some made up word and there was no Timbuktu until I looked it up on a map.
That’s ok. I was probably the same age when I figured out it was Constantinople not Constant-Opally
Was in scouts with a kid named Tim Buck, so we talked about Tim Buck and Tim Buck too!
The "D" in the Disney logo was a stylized capital letter and not a backwards G.
I know, logically, that it’s a D… but I still read it as a G. I can’t help it…
Me too! Always had this same problem with the old sign for the Bay (Hudsons Bay Company, a dept store in Canada). I don't know what letter it looks like but I have to look really hard to see the B no matter how long I've known that it is in fact a B. https://www.alamy.com/stock-photo-the-bay-sign-hudsons-bay-store-toronto-canada-57963060.html
Load More Replies...I've never heard/seen this in 43 years of living. I did, however, think that the instantly recognizable Disney font was a stylized version of Walt's own handwriting. Not sure where I heard that but I'm going to look it up now since nothing is apparently real and we all need to reconsider our entire existences.
I figured that out a while back when I had to spell it and I spelled it "Gisney"
I confess I am guilty of this, learned within the last few years. Just out of the blue I looked at the name and said well I'll be...
I believe the idea is it is supposed to be the Disney part of Walt Disney's signature. Kind of sort of I guess but it is stylized and cleaner. Google pics of his sig. Also, either his sig changed over the years or there are a lot of forgeries out there. (probably both). There are some noticeable differences in different versions of what is supposedly his signature.
That I was in fact NOT missing a testicle. Thought there was supposed to be 3 until I was like 14 years old.
I was about to say this exact thing! Lmao. I almost always say this instead of testing whenever I need to test a mic. Can't remember where I first heard it, though. So many years ago.
Load More Replies...Sexual Education, could have helped with a lot of the errors & misunderstandings in this thread.
sounds to me like the intervention of some older brother/cousin messing around with him. Most of the ridiculous things I used to believe as a young child (not related to three testicles) came from things that my older siblings or cousins would tell me, and I just wouldn't question them at all. I lived in 1999 most of my childhood because since 1997 my brother kept telling me we were in the year 1999, until the actual 1999 came when I was in 1st grade, and we were doing the change to 2000, and I understood that every NYE we're supposed to advance a year, and I was like "wait a minute" and I just saw my brother laughing at me.
Load More Replies...Tried to ask you mailcarrier? Maybe they lost them somewhere
Load More Replies...Wait, I have questions. How? And why 3? It seems like such an arbitrary number. Why not 9? Or 17? I'm just trying to understand your nut logic sir.
Only triplets have three. Quintuplet boys look like they have a sack of grapes down there. It usually doesn't happen to women but I heard rumors that three breasted woman in Total Recall was a triplet.
When people say quote unquote I thought they were saying quote on quote
Wait… i actually thought thought it was quote on quote until this post
And, though rarely used, the more correct term is quote end-quote
Another phrase that gets misheard is "It's a dog eat dog world" meaning the world is competitive, often quoted as "a doggy dog world"
Which is a atrange mistake to make, because "a doggy dog world" is meaningless.
Load More Replies...If you want to get realllllly technical (please don't hate me!) it's actually "quote - end quote" to show the start and finish of the quote.
I thought it was quote, END quote...cause unquote made no sense to me...
I was taught that it was "quote, end quote" which may help clarify the statement.
I didn’t know I was circumcised until I was ~15 or 16. I was arguing with a girl online. I thought the head was the foreskin and that circumcision cut the actual head of the penis off.
Again, it's sad that a 15/16-year-old boy doesn't know about that kind of stuff. Sex Ed is important and prevents many bad things!
Agreed. Also, circumcision is a barbaric practise that needs to end, now.
Load More Replies...This reminds me of the guy who had come to my house for some school project and he and my friends wanted to see our horses. Our stallion had just been castrated so he was still draining and sore. Poor guy. Anyway I showed him our horses and explained why he looked like he did. They left and I thought nothing of it. Not to much later we were in our bio class having some free time and he blurted out to those we were talking to that I abused animals because I cut the penis off of our horse... I said excuse me that is not what happened and he said yes it is you castrated him, and this other guy without missing a beat told him that castration is what should happen to you, not nice but I laughed, it means they cut the balls off.
I'll never understand why no-jews (and no-Muslims) Americans cut off their foreskins without a medical reason.
Surprisingly a lot of men think that's what circumcision is: taking actual piece of the penis off
Well yes, and they're right. If you don't think the foreskin is part of the penis then what do you think it is?
Load More Replies...*Medically advised* circumcisions are important. There. Fixed it for you. There is no excuse for routine genital mutilation of infants.
Load More Replies...Why I was really young my sister told me she threw her guts up. So I was really afraid of vomiting my entire insides up for years.
Just make sure not to bite down until you get them back in.
Load More Replies...Some frogs and sharks do in fact throw their guts up to clean them out. Once they get rid of whatever they need to, they swallow it back in.
My highschool science book would have backed this up, because it said that when you vomit "you bring up the contents of your stomach and sometimes the small intestine".
That Jacques Cousteau was a real person. I always just thought he was a fictional character like Sherlock Holmes until I was in my 30s.
"I'm sorry, Phoebe, but I think Jacques Cousteau is dead..." - Judy; Friends
Lmao, again... WTF do schools teach you, Jacques Cousteau, the inventor of the " scba " ( self contained breething apparatos ) pretty much the father of scuba diving...
Cause schools are ment to teach all about scuba diving.
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That the porta potty doesn’t somehow know when someone’s inside. That the sign only changes to “occupied” when you physically lock the door. Many people walked in on me during my childhood.
EDIT: I was dragged to many outdoor craft fairs and whatnot as a child. So I had to use them more often than most other children.
When I was a teenager, I worked shoveling sugar beets. Only girl on site. Only a port a potty. Of course, massive periods on work days. SO embarrassing. I just kept wadding up more TP and trying to aim it towards the pads. Then we ran out of TP, something else to blame the rib for. Even if it was technically my fault.
Let me tell you about how I thought you were awarded a "Pullet Surprise"
Anyone else misread that as "Pullout Surprise", or am I the only one with a dirty mind 😅
I actually started thinking about chickens 🤣 A pullet is a young female chicken, a pullet surprise = mixed breeds and you don’t know what you are getting 😳 🤦♀️
Load More Replies...Thank you, Nicole. I couldn't wrap my head around that one.
Load More Replies...Wikipedia says Pullet Surprise is a 1997 7-minute Looney Tunes short released in theaters with Cats Don't Dance. Please give the name of the misconception AND the real thing. Not everyone will know the real thing.
What is it actually? Because that doesn't sound familiar to me. Edit: Oh, duh.
Pretty sure I heard the same mistake in a stand-up act or a sitcom
I thought ponies were just baby horses until the age of 23. EDIT: Until I was 23, I didn’t think horses aged like turtles. I’m dumb, but not *that* dumb.
And their parents kick them out of the stables
Load More Replies...And miniature horses aren’t the same as horses or ponies.
Load More Replies...This is #1 thing that people misunderstand about horses/ponies. A baby horse is called a foal. A pony is a small equine that measures 14.2 hands or under. (A hand is equal to 4 inches) There are exceptions too - miniature horses and Icelandic horses are still called horses even though they can be the same size (or smaller) as a pony.
A few months ago 2 of my colleagues both handed in their notice at around the same time. I kept reading/hearing the sentence ‘they’re both moving on to pastures new’ being thrown about the office in the weeks leading up to them leaving and I hadn’t heard this phrase before and thought that was the name of the rival company that they were going to. I thought it was weird that nobody was talking about how they were both leaving for the same company.
I was in the car with one of the ones who was leaving and said ‘so where is that you and X are going to be working? Is it..’ and just before I could embarrass myself and say ‘pastures new’, they interrupted me and said they’re not going to the same place and asked me where I had heard that. I think at that moment I realised I was stupid and didn’t mention it again.
I don't get it, "pastures new"? Help english is my fourth language and I am not advanced enough to get it.
A pasture is a field, specifically one used for farm animals to graze on. Farmers would let their animals eat the grass in one field then move the animals to a new pasture to eat the grass there. Therefore 'moving to pastures' new means going to a new place, usually to a new job or moving home.
Load More Replies...My old boss said she's leaving for "greener pastures" I asked where it was and what she's doing there
That a coma was "A" coma. Until I was probably 19~ I thought it was acoma. I thought you fell into acoma.
I blame the lack of reading. Books, magazines, as long as the text is longer than a few lines. Th longer the text the more chance of a large variety of words.
Could be worse. You could be coma toast. From Old-timer's disease.
Kinda like cute and acute. Like he has acute appendicitis doesn't mean his appendicitis is cute 😉😅
Somebody once told me as a kid that another - elderly - person had a stroke while straining to poop. Unfortunately there a little bit of truth to that idea, which is very disconcerting.
One reason how I understood what coma is, because of the movie that came out in the 70s.
My parents were divorced the whole time and my mom was not, in fact, taking a vacation lmao
In the last year I found out peanut butter is brown. I’m 34. And horrendously colourblind, if that wasn’t obvious.
Come on, how were you supposed to know that? “I mean, could you really like someone with curly red hair?” “And what’s wrong with curly red hair?” “What’s your problem, Invisible Man?” “I have curly red hair!” “Well how was I supposed to know that?”
I love curly red hair especially on a woman. Wait I married her.
Load More Replies...One of our friends was tricked into buying pink sneakers. He told the clerk he was color blind and asked for help. He didn't know they were pink for almost a yr till a friend complemented them
Don't know why you were downvoted. Not everyone has to believe in God or anything.
Load More Replies...For the computer people: I was once asked for a "Comedy-Limited Askey" file (instead of comma-delimited ASCII); and I told someone in a training session to download a file to C:\TEMP, and they complained it wasn't working. They had written "C:BACKSLASHTEMP". These were both professionals in an office.
Was terribly afraid of thunder as a kid. My mother said it was just clouds bumping into each other. When I was about 14 I said in a group outside my family, "I know thunder is just clouds bumping into each other, but that doesn't make me feel better. What the heck is in a cloud?!"
Haha I can imagine the looks "So I went to the movies" "oh kinky" *side eyes from the group* "anyhoo............
Load More Replies...We lived by a river that flowed into Lake Huron. When we'd travel at night the shipping channel was lighted with buoys. When I was little I asked my mom what they were and she said 'buoys'. Until my teens I though little boys sat out on a floating thing with a light to keep the ships from running aground.
My deceased wife was extremely intelligent in some ways and profoundly ignorant in others. We're driving to North Carolina. We get to I75. Signs says "North Atlanta/South Miami". She asks, "Which way?" It's at that point I realize I'm with the wrong person.
It took me 50yrs before I learned that simmering isn't just boiling on a lower heat.
I had the same idea growing up. (Although at a much younger age)
Load More Replies...Don't know why you were downvoted. Not everyone has to believe in God or anything.
Load More Replies...For the computer people: I was once asked for a "Comedy-Limited Askey" file (instead of comma-delimited ASCII); and I told someone in a training session to download a file to C:\TEMP, and they complained it wasn't working. They had written "C:BACKSLASHTEMP". These were both professionals in an office.
Was terribly afraid of thunder as a kid. My mother said it was just clouds bumping into each other. When I was about 14 I said in a group outside my family, "I know thunder is just clouds bumping into each other, but that doesn't make me feel better. What the heck is in a cloud?!"
Haha I can imagine the looks "So I went to the movies" "oh kinky" *side eyes from the group* "anyhoo............
Load More Replies...We lived by a river that flowed into Lake Huron. When we'd travel at night the shipping channel was lighted with buoys. When I was little I asked my mom what they were and she said 'buoys'. Until my teens I though little boys sat out on a floating thing with a light to keep the ships from running aground.
My deceased wife was extremely intelligent in some ways and profoundly ignorant in others. We're driving to North Carolina. We get to I75. Signs says "North Atlanta/South Miami". She asks, "Which way?" It's at that point I realize I'm with the wrong person.
It took me 50yrs before I learned that simmering isn't just boiling on a lower heat.
I had the same idea growing up. (Although at a much younger age)
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