95Kviews
30 Of The Most Hilarious Ways People Subtly Offend Others, As Shared In This Online Group
The majority of us have encountered many bullies during our childhood – however, people like to hope that bullying stops as soon as we step foot into adulthood. Yet nothing really changes, apart from our newly found tendencies of brushing things off and perceiving them as minor inconveniences.
Regardless, it is true to some extent, as we don't normally assume that our controlling boss is a bully or that our patronizing family member is one as well. Though let's face it, our society is full of unpleasant people, and sometimes all you can do is let a person know that they're being an idiot.
Well, an online user decided to help all of us out and ask Redditors to list some of the best insults they like to use, and nearly 7K people got involved in this exceedingly handy thread. The question itself received almost 20K upvotes and delivered some imaginative answers that will probably allow you to humble a person or two.
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
“Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go”.
- Oscar Wilde
I kept having to go back to a hardware store because I kept buying the wrong part for my project. The old man at the register who’d previously checked me out said, your twin brother was in here earlier and he didn’t know what he was doing either.
You are not the dumbest person on the planet but you better hope that he doesn't die.
I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong.
so i disagree.....but then i'd just be wasting my energy engaging with u
It is situational but: "I can only explain it to you, I can't understand it for you".
My mom always taught me not to argue with an idiot. They'll bring you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
My mom said it was like wrestling with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig enjoys it.
You are the reason toothpaste needs instructions.
Paradigmza said:
You have delusions of adequacy.
Konisforce replied:
Had a Scottish friend who described someone as "multitalentless". Was excellent with the accent.
I envy people who dont know you.
Your grades say “marry rich”, but your looks say “keep studying.”
You’re not even smart enough to realize how dumb you are.
You're hard to ignore, but well worth the effort.
You should carry around a potted plant to make up for the air you waste.
I was going to give you a nasty look but I see you already have one!
Please receive, sir, my most sincere indifference.
My psychotherapist told me, in the most professional of terms, that people who say that tend to be "deeply insecure, narcissistic assholes".
Load More Replies...My mother likes to say “it doesn’t matter what you think, you’ll be dead soon!” to old people - she’s in her 60’s. I enjoy it.
It must be a relief to not have been overly burdened with the gift of intelligence.
I prefer Malcolm Reynolds' version: I'm guessing you're not burdened with an overabundance of education.
You're about as welcome as a warm seat in a public toilet.
If your brains were dynamite, there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.
This is as old as, If your brains were ink, you wouldn't have enough to write a full stop. I remember grandfather saying both.
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
You probably dip your Oreos in water, because your dad never came back with milk.
I was playing video games and had a teammate who wasn’t really playing together with me so I had tried to get him to re-group. Admittedly, I did not speak in the most polite way possible but he stopped and wrote “your voice does not inspire leadership”, and then he left the game.
The one and only time I was actually offended by someone’s words over a video game.
You're like the end pieces of a loaf of bread, everyone touches you but nobody wants you.
I like the end pieces of bread! Don’t know why I felt the need to comment this, but…
Everybody was right about you.
You're a murderer and a thief. You murdered a baboon and stole its face.
One time I watched this girl flirting with this guy at a bar in New York. He had been talking about his cool job and how great he was and she just fawned over him. At one point he took a break from talking and she asked him for a cigarette. Without missing a beat he said "ew, how middle class..."
She was mortified and he instantly stopped talking to her and moved on to her friend.
If ignorance is bliss, you must probably be the happiest person who ever lived on earth.
i just heard one along the lines of "it would kill you to jump from your ego level to your IQ"
The most common one is: "if I wanted to commit suicide, I'd jump from your ego to your IQ.
Load More Replies...A favourite one of mine is "I have neither the patience, nor the crayons to explain it to you!"
I hate it when people interrupt when someone is speaking. I always say when it happens to me, "I'm sorry the beginning of your sentence interrupted the middle of mine."
I hate this entire post. Why is it considered witty to be cruel? I have observed people saying some of these things to others and detecting no self awareness at all. Come back when you are perfect.
Dear B.P "authors", please revert to the old title : "People share the best insults" or something, because the new one shows that you don't know what the word "subtle" means!
most of those comments aren't subtle and none of them are hilarious. the glorification of people being mean needs to stop.
Lol. Last month, I told my supervisor someone was a waste of my antidepressant. (Everything is fine, I'm back on my ADD medication. Merry Christmas!)
That DNA could have been used to make a real person. I'll bet (s)he's even ugly in the dark. I think you/he/she is doing pretty good for someone with 45 chromosomes.
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception." - Groucho
His other gem: There's a bus leaving in 10 minutes -- be under it!
Load More Replies...From Terry Gilliam's movie Time Bandits: I really like you. You are so mercifully free from the ravages of intelligence. (and, yes, I have used this a few times . . . then walked away . . .)
Diego: That makes no sense. Five: Well, it would if you were smarter. -The Umbrella Academy, 2019
Who left the bag of idiots open? Somewhere there’s a village and it’s missing its idiot right now. He walked through the ugly / stupid forest and bumped into every tree. How do you confuse an idiot? Strawberries. Confused?
Whenever I am mad at someone, I just say “You are now manually breathing.”
My husband sometimes messes with me by replying to my I love you to "I huff glue too" and it always makes me mad. Idk why. But he gets all giggly when I get mad cause he says "when you turn red its hot".... geesh. Lol. Typical dad jokester.
I saw this on TikTok, when you die you don't know it, it's just hard for the people around you, it's the same when you are stupid.
If you actually had a brain, you'd take it out of your skull and play with it.
If ignorance is bliss, you must probably be the happiest person who ever lived on earth.
i just heard one along the lines of "it would kill you to jump from your ego level to your IQ"
The most common one is: "if I wanted to commit suicide, I'd jump from your ego to your IQ.
Load More Replies...A favourite one of mine is "I have neither the patience, nor the crayons to explain it to you!"
I hate it when people interrupt when someone is speaking. I always say when it happens to me, "I'm sorry the beginning of your sentence interrupted the middle of mine."
I hate this entire post. Why is it considered witty to be cruel? I have observed people saying some of these things to others and detecting no self awareness at all. Come back when you are perfect.
Dear B.P "authors", please revert to the old title : "People share the best insults" or something, because the new one shows that you don't know what the word "subtle" means!
most of those comments aren't subtle and none of them are hilarious. the glorification of people being mean needs to stop.
Lol. Last month, I told my supervisor someone was a waste of my antidepressant. (Everything is fine, I'm back on my ADD medication. Merry Christmas!)
That DNA could have been used to make a real person. I'll bet (s)he's even ugly in the dark. I think you/he/she is doing pretty good for someone with 45 chromosomes.
"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception." - Groucho
His other gem: There's a bus leaving in 10 minutes -- be under it!
Load More Replies...From Terry Gilliam's movie Time Bandits: I really like you. You are so mercifully free from the ravages of intelligence. (and, yes, I have used this a few times . . . then walked away . . .)
Diego: That makes no sense. Five: Well, it would if you were smarter. -The Umbrella Academy, 2019
Who left the bag of idiots open? Somewhere there’s a village and it’s missing its idiot right now. He walked through the ugly / stupid forest and bumped into every tree. How do you confuse an idiot? Strawberries. Confused?
Whenever I am mad at someone, I just say “You are now manually breathing.”
My husband sometimes messes with me by replying to my I love you to "I huff glue too" and it always makes me mad. Idk why. But he gets all giggly when I get mad cause he says "when you turn red its hot".... geesh. Lol. Typical dad jokester.
I saw this on TikTok, when you die you don't know it, it's just hard for the people around you, it's the same when you are stupid.
If you actually had a brain, you'd take it out of your skull and play with it.