“1/10 Would Not Recommend It”: 30 People That Followed Their Dreams Then Regretted It Share Their Stories
Interview
I always wanted to be an actor until I realized everything that the business side of the industry entailed. Without having wealth and nepotism on my side (and no desire to get a nose job), I realized there might be a career path out there that’s more gentle on my mental health.
Sometimes, we romanticize things that we aren’t perfectly suited for, and that's okay! One curious Reddit user recently asked others to share things they dreamed of doing their whole lives, only to realize they actually hated them, and hundreds of people weighed in. Read on to find some of their most honest responses, as well as a chat with the person who sparked this conversation in the first place, and take this as a friendly reminder that you can always change your mind!
This post may include affiliate links.
Join the military. 1/10 would not recommend it. The only good that came out of it was being able to say I traveled and lived in a foreign country and I could have done that on my own. Its the most toxic workplace on Earth and for women, it's a real s**t show of sexual predators, misogyny and abuse by ignorant, immature young men who have -0- respect for women as a whole who are given far too much responsibility and power long before they have the brains or wisdom to use it.
I went into a Catholic seminary after high school joining a Catholic religious order. The ensuing years totally deconstructed the myth and mystique of the religion as I saw how many of the priest were complete frauds in their own character.
After the Church, I joined the Police Department hoping again to serve people in need. I've never seen so much stupid concentrated in one organization. I would rather live as a hermit than spend another day with a bunch of lazy, lying, conniving asshats who barely made it out of high school.
Truly disturbing in both institutions was the level in which "rank" entitled you to set alternate reality.
F**k both of them.
Two of the absolute worst offenders there are... The church and the cops...
To learn more about how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user Buzzkill007, who posed the question, “Have you ever dreamed of doing something your whole life only to find out, once you did it, that you hated it? What was it?” And lucky for us, he was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. “I've been doing a lot of processing about my life lately - where I've been, how I got here, that sort of thing,” the OP shared. “Started thinking about what I used to dream about becoming or doing when I was a kid, and how my experience pursuing a dream didn't quite go as well as I had imagined.”
Teaching.
And god no not because of the kids, they were hilarious amazing and loved to learn.
I f*****g couldn't stand the other teachers and staff members superiority complexes F*****G STOP BEING SO ANGRY & CONTROLLING TOWARDS GOD DAMN 8 YEAR OLDS WHO HAVE TO BE HERE
I heard this story from a friend, and have no reason to believe it's fake, but I never met any of the people involved.
There's a couple, the husband really wanted a 3some their entire marriage. The wife always refused, at least partially because they had a kid, and she didn't want their sexcapades to affect the child in any way.
Fast forward 20 years or so, the kids are all out of the house, and the husband keeps bringing it up (not sure he ever stopped, really). The wife just so happened to have a coworker that she was becoming really good friends with, who she also found very attractive, and so one day (prior to the husband's birthday), the wife asked her coworker if she would be down to join her and her husband. The coworker said yes.
Husband's birthday, the wife surprises him with the 3some. Afterwards, the husband's reaction was "well that wasn't really the mind-blowing experience I expected it to be. Oh well, my wife is awesome for doing that for me."
Now, I might be missing a few details here, but the wife realized she enjoyed being with the other woman far more than she enjoyed being with her husband. She ended up leaving her husband and is now in a committed relationship with the coworker.
Good for them, tbh. I think I'd be very upset if my husband kept pushing a 3some for years and years
We were also curious if Buzzkill007 had ever been disappointed by something he had romanticized doing. “I was pretty highly imaginative and creative growing up, and had always wanted to pursue something in an artistic field. I ended up in graphic design,” he told Bored Panda. “There are a lot of positives in that field, and I did have some good experiences with it. I stayed with it for 14 years. But it ended with me having a mental breakdown. I can't blame the breakdown solely on the industry - there were several factors outside of work happening at the time - but the stresses of having to be creative on demand (and other things inherent to the industry) certainly contributed. When the dust had settled, I had not only lost my job, but I had pretty much burned out on wanting to be creative in any capacity. I've slowly started getting that desire back, but I doubt I'll ever want to make a career of it.”
Being an EMT
I had planned on it being my lifelong career since middle school. I loved the medical field and wanted to save lives but knew I wouldn’t have the stamina to get through medical school.
I got into training as soon as I graduated high school and I was top of my class in the educational sense, but as soon as I started doing ride-alongs everything just kind of fell apart on me.
I didn’t fit in well with the firefighters, which sounds stupid but I think I really needed that brotherhood if I was going to survive in that field. The real problem, however, was my empathy. I knew quickly that I would not be able to see people on their worst days everyday. I could deal with broken bones and blood, but I hadn’t prepared myself for the screams.
On my third ride-along I responded to a teenage su**ide, and that was it for me. I work for a museum now lol.
Being the boss of people. Boss is a title, but being an effective leader of people is an emotionally draining, often thankless roller coaster.
People are the hardest part of working with others.....effective leaders so often give more of themselves than they really have to spare. I only have a small team...close knit and pretty good people, and managing them can be bone crushingly exhausting. It's hard ....and you are not generally financially rewarded enough for the time and effort it takes. ....and most likely not appreciated or thanked for going above and beyond in making your team high functioning
The OP also shared his thoughts on the replies his post received. “I was honestly surprised at the number of people who responded, as well as the breadth of experiences out there,” he said. “It helps to know that this sort of thing isn't just me. I was also interested to see the number of creatives out there who shared similar experiences.”
Touching boobs. Which male, straight teen doesn't wanna touch boobs? Obviously I wanted to do so, and the desire made me create high expectations. When I did it ended up being a disappointment. The girl was hot, but her personality was s**t. She grabbed my hands and put them in her tits. I didn't feel anything, and for some reason it felt forced and unnatural. Then I realized two things:
1. Nice boobs don't make up for s****y personality
2. Sexual experiences only feel good when you have feelings for the other person
I grew up watching romance movies and reading romance novels and always dreamed of a guy coming and sweeping me off my feet and then having hot sex with me.
When I actually got into my first relationship with a guy, I realized I was gay.
I once read an author wondering why guys are not like books/movies, like, it's not even high standards, we are just looking for someone funny, loyal, honest and supportive
And to all the pandas out there who have experienced something similar, Buzzkill007 reminded us that we’re not alone. “I think it's human nature to dream about what's possible,” he told Bored Panda. “Humanity has achieved some great (and some terrible) things because we have imagination. Sure, some of our dreams and expectations can be naïve and unrealistic. But maybe that's just part of learning and growing. I do think that (at least in my case) the best teacher is experience, but there is a lot of value in spending time in the classroom and studying your chosen subject of interest.”
When I was young my dream was to be a fashion model and at seventeen after my parents approval I did it from the ages of 17-23. It was not what I had dreamt of, it was worse. I literally starved myself to look a certain way, only did cardio and light weights in the gym and was constantly critiqued on my body, looks, skin, hair. I took a semester off of university to recover after developing severe anxiety and depression.
I never understood the need of achieving a type of body that 90% of the population won't ever have
We hope you never give up on your dreams, pandas, but if you reach a point where you decide they're just not for you anymore, don't beat yourself up! Enjoy reading through these reminders that sometimes life has something even better in store for us than what we imagined, and feel free to share your own stories in the comments. Then, after you're finished here, if you're interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing why some people's dream jobs let them down, we recommend reading this piece next!
I once had a chat with an Uber driver in LA about her dream and how it didn’t turn out as she expected.
Born and raised in Moldova, she grew up dreaming of being a politician so she could one day make a positive impact on her country. She studied hard and made it into a nice university, but once the first set of finals came, the teacher faced the class and said, “To those who studied, good job. To those who didn’t, a C is $300, a B is $400, and an A in the class is $500.”
At that point she realized her country was corrupt beyond what she could ever hope to fix in her lifetime and immediately dropped out.
A few years later she won a lottery to obtain a visa to move to the US. She took her mom and brother, who is now able to follow his own dream of producing Maldovan music at a professional level and is becoming increasingly popular in their homeland and surrounding countries.
Spent 6 years of my life in choir, thinking I wanted to be an opera singer or perform in musicals. Got to my first year of college as a vocal performance major, and realized I wasn't actually willing to learn most of what was required. I had never played an instrument or taken lessons on it before, so I was s**t at music theory. Then I had to take a piano class, that I was also s**t at, with 3 more years of those to expect in the future. I didn't have the same kind of flamboyant music kid personality of all my classmates, so I had a difficult time getting along with everyone.
The only thing I had was a good voice, but without any interest in anything other than actively singing. I finally realized that it wasn't the career path for me, and that I didn't want to become famous, or deal with the bs that comes along with trying to get consistent work in that industry. I found that I enjoy singing most when my husband is having a difficult time, and I can help him fall asleep at night by just singing his favorite song. He's knocked out by time I finish the first stanza usually. Makes me feel like I didn't waste all that time for nothing.
My sister and I are both trained opera singers. And we've both been secretaries for the last 15+ years. I still have 3 Italian operas memorized and I do not speak a word of Italian.
Med school. I was sooo excited to observe a surgery. I fainted...
At least there are many other less aggressive options lol
Living with my partner.
We were, and are, a perfect match. Even now we've gone our separate ways romantically, we're still best friends. I'd take a bullet for that m**********r.
In my head it would be all baking cookies and filthy sex. While I was at work he'd do some of the household upkeep. Our friends could come over whenever to party.
In reality I was working a job that I hated so much it nearly killed me, and he was clinically depressed and trying to get his thesis over the line. The apartment was too small, and it STANK, even before we both stopped doing any cleaning. We were so miserable we just ate takeout every night and went to sleep without so much as a kiss. Partying isn't really on the cards when you're one iota away from hanging yourself.
If I couldn't make it work with him, I figured it's not for me. I was right. Been living alone for 6 years now, and I couldn't imagine giving up the independence it gives me for anything or anyone.
After being divorced twice (no kids), I've been living alone for the past 40 yrs & wouldn't have it any other way.
Traveling for work. You spend a lot of time in hotels and rarely get the opportunity to see anything besides that due to flight schedules. And being hungover on an airplane is an awful experience.
"I want to be an environmental lawyer when I grow up! I'm going to help save the world!" F*****g kill me dude, I don't even have the energy to save myself anymore.
I changed my name. When the name change was accepted and I received the letter with my new name on it I freaked out and changed it back the same day.
All my life I wanted to make cartoons.
I fought with tooth and nail to reach the top.
Then I interned for an old studio in Burbank specializing in cartoons about a *certain yellow family.*
Then, after college, I became a mechanic and never looked back.
Not me, but my first girlfriend when i was 18. She had always wanted to be an eye doctor. Had been her dream for years. Graduated undergrad, got accepted to Optometry school. Graduated with great grades. Got a job ... and within a year or so realized she didn't want to spend the rest of her life asking " which is better, #1 or #2." Went back to school and became a nurse for traumatic brain injuries. She's much happier now. Still does optometry on the side for extra money.
Being a cop. I quit after 6 months.
Typical story if a kid growing up in a sh*thole that had a cop “big brother”. He made me feel better about myself and gave me courage/confidence etc so I always grew up wanting to make the world a better place and help out the kids growing up like I did. When I got in I realized that my department cared more about the letter of the law and less about the spirit of the law. When I would take an opportunity to teach someone why they were doing bad instead of punishing them, I got punished. I put too many people in cuffs that had called me for help (sending the image of if you call for help your going to jail) than I care to admit and I just couldn’t do it anymore. I’m sure there are better departments out there but this killed it for me.
I'm assuming this is US centric. In most first world countries you need a university degree to become a police officer, it really helps weed out a lot of people who aren't suitable to police work.
Moving to another country. I loved the romantic idea of moving to a new place and finding out about the culture.
Turns out it's expensive, it's complicated and it's tiring as f**k.
Only silver lining is that I'll have a few good stories to tell... To no one since I basically lost all my friends.
It was an amazing experience for me, so either I'm an exception to the rule or... there is no rule 🙃
Having endless time to read, watch tv, do hobbies.
I had four foot/ankle surgeries in as many years, that required months each of recuperation in a recliner with my foot elevated. Not painful, but SO BORING. There really is only so much tv you can watch, books you can read, hobbies you can practice, etc. I got to the point that I was sleeping endlessly and pointlessly.
I always used to think wouldn’t it be nice to have a month off so I could catch up with all my admin and tidy up etc. Now I’m chronically sick, and not working, it’s not the same as having time off at all, when people think you’re being lazy, you’re just resting to cope!
I grew up with my dream career path being to become a police officer, and eventually a detective hopefully. This lasted up into college when I started the process of doing ride alongs and what not. Thats when I learned 95% of the job is ruining people's lives instead of helping or saving anyone. Now I do tech support and life is misery but at least I actually help people now and then.
Visiting Vegas. I loved the idea of a city based on games. Turns out, I like fair games.
Being a veterinarian. I never became a vet, but one of my first jobs in high school, having wanted to be a vet my whole life, was in a vet clinic. I was ecstatic. Vet clinics are depressing AF. Dogs and cats hit my cars coming in to the clinic in horrendous pain. It always smells like s**t from fecal floats (checking for worms), pets that got put down but could have been saved if only their owners could have afforded it. 2 freezers in basement- one for dead dogs, and one for dead cats. They get hauled to the basement freezer in trash bags in case they release waste after they die. I couldn't take after only a few months and left.
Personal training/strength coaching. I told myself I was going to find, support, and coach the next Arnold for years, but I was just stuck with a geriatric population and people who constantly thought my degree in exercise science was a google search or the right Instagram post away. A THIGH GAP IS NOT A FITNESS GOAL. GO TO THERAPY.
Best personal trainer I ever had was great at hand holding. And figuring out stuff for ME and not Arnold.
Being a Chef, I left highschool in year 10 too get a cert ||| in commerical cookery as I loved cooking and making dishes at home. Loved it for the first few months than realised how draining it is. I do split shifts 9:00am-2:30pm than 5:00pm-9 sometimes 9:30pm. Its Exhausting after doing it for 4 years. You loose your appetite completely. I recently had a knee injury and have been off for a few weeks its really made my anxiety and depression calm down after not being torn too bits by chefs who have had 20+ years of experience and 'know' everything. Its making me realise Ive chosen the wrong career choice.
Being a youtuber. Terrible life.
I tutor on the side, I hate how many students under ten tell me things like, "I don't need to learn how to read; I wanna be a YouTuber when I grow up." No, child, no, you don't. I remind them that the odds of being a popular enough YouTuber to earn a living full time are very low. Also, even YouTubers need to know how to read. Stay in school, kids.
I always wanted to be a writer. I feel like I have many good stories inside me. I've had many people tell me they like my stories, and my writing style. I've won a few creative writing contests over time.
.......... but anytime I sit down and try to write something, I hate it. I feel like it's a piece of s**t, and I'm embarrassed to release it.
On one hand, it's allowed me to have a giant appreciation for anybody who puts any kind of art out there. but it's also made me think my life long dream was stupid and I should have worked towards something else.
Blacksmithing. I watched a ton of blacksmithing content on youtube, got SUPER intrigued and wanted to build my own setup in the backyard. My Father talked me into trying a class before jumping in headfirst, and I am glad I did. My Father and I were the only two in the class that day so we got all the attention from the instructor which was awesome, he really helped us both perfect our techniques and corrected any mistakes quickly so we didn't form any bad habits, it was the best instructor I have ever had for anything, guy was an amazing teacher. He even offered to let us stay for a couple more hours to make another piece, which we took him up on. After all that, an amazing class, 3 metal pieces that I worked on and created by myself by hand, I walked away... dissatisfied. I think metal as a medium just felt very hard to work with, everything is super hot and dangerous, and I just didn't see myself wanting to ever do it again. I really recommend taking a class to try something out rather than spending time and money to build your own setup for something you may hate. I spent 75$ to save thousands.
But most common metals are more ductile than people and easier to squeeze into the shape you want them to be.
Nurse….f*****g soul sucking…but pay is good. Better since started traveling. Allows me 4-6 weeks vacation every year. Debt free, so it can continue to suck my soul a while longer.
In SA the nursing salaries are low so you get demotivated people who don't care if you live or die.
Art. Drawing, painting, sculpting, working with color and lines and physical and digital media, being able to create whatever I want! I practiced and practiced, but always hated the result and hated the process of making it. Every moment spent trying to draw a tree that would look nothing like a tree was agony.
I love art, I hate the process of *making* art. I would much rather commission people for whom the making is an actual passion, enjoy the finished product, and reimburse them fairly for their time and effort.
Move to LA. Found out the movies only show all the good angles and leave out that you can't walk literally anywhere without some a*****e screaming at you, trying to sell you something, babbling cracked out nonsense, or trying to scam you. Can't just wander and mind your own business.
I've been to LA and it really isn't a particularly glamorous place. I liked it there, but the "OMG this is where they make all the movies so cool!" thing wore off very quickly.
I wanted to be an architect so I became one
Quickly learned that the only people who actually get to be creative are the people who own the firm
Pay sucks and they grind through young architects but you require a very expensive degree and testing to get your license is expensive and difficult
Very dependent on the economy and at the first sight of a downturn everyone gets laid off
Slow to recover as well as construction sometimes lags
Long terrible hours doing s**t work to make some stupid design some partner thought up actually work in a technical sense for months on end only to have a client say it’s too expensive anyway and you end up with a square glass box
Very deadline driven like “we’re digging a hole on Monday so be done or we’re all fired” so high stress for s**t pay
I thought I'd be a practicing psychologist, but I had a very idealistic view of it. Like the patient lying on the couch, telling you about their life problems, then you telling them something and giving them a breakthrough. Mental illness cured!
I did complete my psych undergrad, and I loved the subject matter, but after doing my internship at Child and Family Services it was very clear to me that I wasn't cut out for clinical work. I certainly would have burned out, and barely made enough money to live as a case worker.
I got my masters in HCI/UX and made my career in tech, which was a great decision. I have nothing but respect for the boots-on-the-ground social workers, but I'm gonna continue to read books about psychology instead of working in it.
Being a dog groomer. I love dogs and working with my hands. What a load of s**t. Owners are arseholes, some dog were arseholes, horrible bosses, unrealistic targets, you get scratched, bitten, shat on and hair gets everywhere even you eyes. Unless you work for yourself it’s a c**p job.
Being a pilot. Dreamed about it constantly as a kid. Finished all my ratings by 20. Lasted 4 years on the job before I realized how shady the industry was (the charter industry backin the early '00s). I drive ships now.
Moving. I always think - it will be great! I'll finally sort through all my junk and get rid of broken, chipped, unused items. In reality, after a few hours I just start tossing stuff in boxes and considering trashing everything
MOVING is just, OH thats where that was as you proceed to place into another box not to be found till the next move lmao
It sounds crazy but not having a career. I didn’t go to college, have no degree or career, I just didn’t want to be a slave to the machine. I wanted to do whatever I wanted to, whenever I wanted to. And having all the time in the world fed into my addictions. But now, I’m 29 and have been in the service industry since I was 16, in some capacity or another. I’ve been a server for 9 of those years and I hate being treated like a slave or less than, and I struggle with the inconsistency of the job. I do make good money and for that I’m grateful, and I know having a career doesn’t mean you have a better life, but I hate feeling/being treated like a loser for choosing “happiness” over any sense of stability.
Didn't want to be a slave to the machine but worked service jobs ? Does not compute
Working in a lab. Wanted to help cure viruses and disease. Turned into monotonous days of pipetting, plating germs and tediousness that was soul sucking.
Hiking. Not just walking the nature trails at the local park because I could do that all day. Actual, real, in the middle of nowhere with nothing but a backpack on hiking. Never again. By the time you realise it f*****g sucks, you realise you also have to hike back.
I was always really interested in going to sex clubs, and once I dated someone who was open to it so we went a few times. It wasn't great. At best, it was basically just like any other club except socially acceptable to make out and put your hands on your partner's crotch in public, but with a $20/person cover charge and twice as expensive drinks. At worst, there was a bunch of single dudes creepily walking around hoping to get to see naked women, and a bunch of couples where it was very obviously a dude with his girlfriend who doesn't want to be there, very uncomfortable and avoiding eye contact with anyone lest they try to have sex with her.
I had this vision in my head of a sex-positive community of people just feeling free and open without fear of judgment, and it was exactly the opposite - people constantly on edge with creepy dudes openly leering and making people self-conscious.
Sex fantasies are always better in your head because your in control.
Weed tbh. I found out it makes me really paranoid even when taken in very minute quantities.
I wanted to make it big in tech, like my mother did, who spurred my interest in tech as a child. Then I got into tech, and understood my mother survived in tech because she was one of the megad*cks that make tech so toxic. Not the 'I'm here to get along and make money.' kind of tech I was. But the 'You can't take my promotion from me if I get you fired.' kind of tech she was.
Surfing!
Always loved board sports skateboarded growing up. Done a bit of snowboarding and a bit of wakeboarding.
Tried surfing multiple times it's mostly drowning from my experience.
My dream was obtainable. I was 6 years old when I watched sailor moon. From that point forward my dream was going to Japan. My family was poor so traveling was never an option.
Once I was an adult I was able to start living that lower middle class life and I finally went.
I came back from my trip depressed with my life. That was my dream and I did it and it was "meh". Don't get me wrong Japan is clean and I loved it. It was just depressing that my dream was: place: 😑, THIS place: 🥰😍 and it's just buildings and people. Just like everywhere else lmao
Burlesque. Discovered it on YouTube as a teenager and fell in love. Bought the Dita Von Teese book and all these other biography’s from burly dancer and read them. I took a class in New Orleans from Bella Blue even. I did end up doing a couple shows and I liked it sorta but the other people in the industry ruined it for me. Just really mean girl like behavior and I was plus sized so I felt like I was meet with a lot of body shaming in what was made up to be a body positive community.
Maybe it was just the New Orleans scene but god, it was a heartbreaking let down
Joining the U.S. Air Force.
My parents served from the late 70's to 1999. It was the golden era of military service in the USA. "Small", easily winable conflicts we created ourselves for the most part (not to diminish the sacrifices of service members during this time). But ultimately the comeraderie was huge and strong prior to the internet and risk of death was low. I grew wanting to serve, see the world, have job security, and live an amazing life with stories to tell.
I joined in 2011. It was absolute hell and I will never be the same again. Some of it was amazing, but enough of it was traumatizing that I was permanently damaged.
Imagine being the people being bombed during breakfast. Probably had a rougher time
Photography.
I always enjoyed macro photography of things like knives, watches, rings, etc…
I went out and bought a Canon m50 and a few lenses, and quickly found out that it is SIGNIFICANTLY harder than it seems to get good photos.
I also bought a subscription to photoshop and Lightroom (editing programs) to try and learn those as well, and again, they’re a lot harder than they seem.
Gained a newfound respect for photographers though….I never realized how much really went into all of it.
A recent-vintage smartphone can take very good photos, including macro, with a lot of fun and not much hassle. Also, people who are just doing it for pleasure don't need Adobe's expensive, complex apps. I own and use (as a hobby) pro-level photo gear, but I often have at least as much fun, if not quite the same quality of results, using my phone. Wildlife photography is one of the few places where high-end gear is generally essential, since you need long lenses and fast speeds. But with any photography, just have fun, enjoy your occasional stand-out photos (even if they were just good luck), and have no regrets in chucking the dreck. I look at photography as an excuse to visit interesting places at least as much as an end in itself.
Driving.
When I was a kid, I believed driving would be some ultimate adulting and a sign of total freedom. I daydreamed about what kind of car I would get and the crazy plans I would make possible as I was behind the wheel.
Turned out to be an stressful, needlessly dangerous and expensive activity. Roads in my town are poorly kept, drivers in my town are raging a******s and cars are ludicrously tiring and expensive to keep up. I don't drive anymore and I've given up for now the need to own a car.
I love driving. I am very middle aged. But in car wimdows down Radio cranking my 80's hair metal..i am 17 always.
I grew up feeling passionate about physics and always planned on being a professional physicist. Got my undergrad, started a Ph.D. program, and spent a good time in the program before absolutely hating it. The politics, the narrow spectrum of novel research, the terrible grad school pay, being far from home, etc. Got super depressed and had to reevaluate my career, even though I spent so much time on this path. It all wasn't worth a field in which I lost my drive.
Ended up leaving the program and working for the government for a few years before returning to grad school for statistics. Best time of my life, and I got a permanent research position at an R1 university in my home state (where I have been to the day).
TL;DR Spent a ton of time going to school for something that was only fun until you hit the professional level. Changed to a different field and never looked back.
Physics proper isn't that useful anymore... all that is left to discover that is practically useful is stuff like novel forms of superconductors, and maybe a warp drive. Other than that, meh. I mean it's super interesting till you realise it's mostly covered. (As per the "narrow spectrum" comment above). Stats however is more boring to learn but way more useful in the modern world, especially government as they say above.
I know it sounds stupid, but mine was a shopping spree
My family never really had much money so I could go out on a shopping spree with friends and if I did go out with them I was always the one left holding the bags or feeling left out.
When I did manage to get a few things for myself on occasion like if i had birthday or Christmas money it was always what others wanted me to wear never anything for myself thay I truly loved. I felt weird because I was always told girls are ment to love shopping like my friends did but I just hated it and chalked it up to not having much cash and being dragged about store to store.
I came into some money years ago and was able to have a shopping spree I decided to go alone so I could buy what I wanted with out others influence but I hated it still. I couldn't justify the prices I knew my friends usual would spend and I felt so overwhelmed by everything. I also founf being alone I could be honest with myself especially with nobody pushing me to buy their style and I very quickly realised I was quite alternative/ gothic and non of the shops fit my style.
I left overwhelmed, sad and disappointed and realised I never felt off because i didnt have money or felt left out i felt off because I really didn't like shopping or crowds and I was not accepting my true style.
Visiting Los Angeles.
Played it up so much in my head watching so many movies either intentionally using the city as a setting or just simply being filmed there due to it being the epicenter of the industry and still appreciating the scenery.
Arrived and immediately inundated with traffic, underwhelming beaches, and garbage everywhere. Oh, and Hollywood Blvd, that’s all I’ll say there.
“Hate” is strong to describe my actual experience when I got there. “Underwhelmed and disappointed” is more accurate.
LA is my second-most-hated U.S. city, after NYC. It is a mystery to me what attracts so many people to either of them.
Music production which is what I majored in. As soon as I graduated from college I realized how much I hate sitting in a recording studio doing the same thing over and over again, only to scrap it and do it over yet again. Turned out to be brutally technical, drawn out and boring with very little reward and it took all of the fun out of music for me. Even the pros I worked with who were doing objectively “well” seemed miserable most of the time due to having to work with some truly insufferable people and never getting the recognition they felt they deserved. And half of them were alcoholics, chain smokers or insomniacs with pronounced depression.
EDIT: Rather than pursue a career in music production I focused on enjoying being in a band and got a day job to support my hobby. Turned out to be far more sustainable and once I got married and had a kid (requiring me to take a step back and focus on my family) I had already established myself at a decent job with benefits. I’m not suggesting this is the path one should take, but almost everyone I know who was trying to make it 20 years ago is still struggling to pay bills and gain traction despite whatever talent or “success” they’ve had. What I am suggesting is that if you decide to pursue a career in the arts, have something to fall back on. The industry is brutal - it requires constant networking, long hours and it is very easy to get burned out.
Trust me, you do not want to be living paycheck to paycheck in your 40’s with nothing to show for it - no benefits, no assets, just an occasional cover band or sound guy gig and a nasty drug/alcohol addiction. And all because you didn’t have a backup plan.
I tried the “we’re going to be famous” band bit in my early 20s - we’d gig anywhere and everywhere but it just didn’t happen for us. It was also starting to make me depressed and hate my music so I settled for it being a hobby and not my main source of income. I still play in my 50s and get offered regular well paid gigs that I can accept or turn down as I feel. It still gives me a buzz.
Moved to Hawaii. The heat is nice is you’re just chilling but having to work with that heat gets you moody if you’re not used to it.
Also, a lot of locals are not welcoming of newcomers and you get tossed aside, so you get very lonely. I lasted a year until I decided the experiment failed, wasting thousands of dollars and disillusioned about a place I loved visiting for so long.
Snowboarding…skied all my life, and always wanted to try snowboarding bc it looked so damn cool. Found out I had zero coordination, ended up bruising my tailbone. Haven’t snowboarded since 🤷🏻♂️
Thought I'd enjoy snowboarding because I skateboarded. Completely different. I absolutely loathed having my feet strapped to the board.
Oh man, I can apply this. I went to a college that had a cool machine near one of the lecture halls. It was called an ICAP (Induced Coupled Argon Mass Spectrometer) on the window of the lab it was in it talked about how the argon torch got as hot as the surface of the sun and how it sublimated rock particles in solution (straight solid to gas, no liquid phase). I found out from the geology department that it was a 2 million dollar machine. I wanted to use it so I became a geology major and made my senior seminar based on geochemical bedrock analysis. I had to go get samples, crush them, put them through other machines to make the distillate that the ICAP could run. I finally got to use it! Just to find out it has a closed system (nothing to see) and spit out a database file so old I had to get an external 3 1/2 floppy USB drive to get the data off it. It was boring to use and I felt so let down.
I mean to be fair I'm applying to a university for the purpose of getting a new t-shirt, so I can't judge.
Video game development. Way more math than I anticipated.
Yep, tons of maths on the graphics side. Other apps (non-games) you can get away with primary school math.
Working construction... growing up my dad was a brick mason, and I always thought it was cool driving around and hearing "I built that house" or "I built that fireplace"
Then in High School I did summers as a laborer for him, and f**k that s**t.
I would rather do just about anything other than work in the construction industry (obnoxious, incompetent people...), but I spent a relaxed decade of spare time designing & building my own 3,500 sq ft house—alone!—and had a glorious time (well, except for making the mistake of reaching the roofing phase in the middle of the summer). I get to say "I built that house!" without having had to endure all the other cräp in that industry, and I especially love that it is ultra-fine-tuned to my & my wife's own needs and many hobby interests. Meanwhile, our neighbors hire others to paint their porch railings and mow their lawns . BTW, before I started I'd never done anything related that was more complicated than repainting a room. The key is to assume that you CAN do it, even if you have little idea how to start, and just go for it (YouTube helps :-). Also, use only high-quality screws—never nails!—so that it's relatively easy to fix your many, but expected, mistakes and idea changes.
Playing an instrument, I am a lot of things, musically gifted is not one.
Edit; just to clarify I play 3 instruments, poorly. Because either I don’t enjoy it enough or can’t seem to dedicate myself. Thanks for the support though
another love of mine and another area where I have no talent. BUMMER !
Playing Guitar Live in a bar.
Nobody knows my favorite songs and drunk people just talk right through your performance.
I had a double major computer science/mathematics and never used either after college. I just got burned out on computers and needed a big change going forward.
English and Art history major. Most of my jobs dealt with math and economics.
Golf.
the 5^th time I played, on the 7^th hole I put my club in my bag, drove to the club house and sat and drank beer until my friends finished. I never played again.
they said that I didn't give it enough time to be good enough to enjoy playing. but, after that s**t shot on the 7^TH, I knew that it wasn't something I ever wanted to do again.
Reasons to take up Disc golf. The learning curve is much more gentle and it’s almost always free to play in case you suuuuck at least you aren’t out a bunch of cash.
Wanted a really kinky girlfriend, I remember standing in front of target waiting for it to open so I could buy a giant bottle of shout, regretting my wish.
When I was a kid I was very musical. From 6th grade to senior year I was in every high school musical and was involved with every single music extra curricular my school offered. I am also very musically talented and loved the camaraderie of musicals, bands, chorus, swing choir, jazz band, etc. I had older siblings that did this stuff too and were leads in the musicals.
Now of course, everybody probably fantasized about being the leading man or woman in a show, the lights, the attention, the kind of fun magic of the theater that somehow endears that actor to you- its all cool. I had thought a lot about how I would really like to be the lead when I was older, and lo and behold, I was for my junior year sorta, and certainly was for my senior year. It was a great time, very memorable, the work, the love, the music, the whole thing feeling like it was greater than the sum of its parts.
The last bit of this and the point of the post is- after the last night of the last performance, of my last musical I'll ever do, I stood on stage and looked out over the crowd that was clapping and screaming and whistling, full of supportive friends and family- all staring at ME and clapping for ME- and I just...... didn't...... really.... care LOL.
I was grateful yes, relieved that the work was done certainly, but the applause and cheers just didn't really feel like how I thought it might, and I didn't really even get WHY I felt that way.
In any case, it made me realize a lot about myself in terms of what I value and don't. After years of seeing actors take their bows and drinking in that moment of finality and recognition, I figured it must be a really amazing and moving feeling. For me personally, it felt a little like a nice pat on the back and then all I could think about was the process and the journey to getting to that point. This has tracked in my life, I don't mind praise, i don't eschew praise, but I absolutely never seek it out and kind of never care if I get it. I think the process of doing anything is the part I think about the most, and the focus stays in my head. It's me against myself and only praise from myself to myself (also criticism unfortunately) is what I take seriously most of the time.
Anyway I listen to lots of comics podcasts about how killing in front of a crowd in the best feeling in the world. Might be true for them, but I've gotten a lot of applause in my life even after school with rock bands, and it still just doesn't hit for me. I guess that means I'm not a comic, eh? Lol
I've had that feeling before. The encouragement to get somewhere is somehow more validating than the praise for actually getting there. It's weird.
Earned a degree in Aviation Management, went to work for a major airline and walked away from the industry nine months later. I'm not the office worker type I thought I'd be.
When I started getting interested in food and cooking I always wanted to cook a ton of food on a flat top grill, doing it for my job f*****g suuucks.
I had a passion for tinkering and genuinely enjoyed trying to fix issues with computers, and I thought that I would have a future working in IT or something.
I then found an IT job and hated it within a year. That job killed any interest I had in tech, so that pretty much killed any interest I had in that career, so now I’m just working in jobs that I don’t care for at all as I try to figure out my next career move.
Often a risky idea to try to turn your hobbies into a career. Enjoy them separately.
I think it's ok, it gives you a perspective on what a specific job is really like.
Load More Replies...
Am I lucky or cursed? I never had any romanticized illusions about any kind of work. I did love being a forklift driver, but I always say the work is great but the employers are terrible. I don't mind what I do now but I long since realized it's almost impossible to get a woodwind instrument perfect, and they're generally disgusting from people blowing into them all the time
I've never had any idea what I want to do. I'm 46 and a fire protection engineer. I just kind of fell into it. I don't like it. I've got degrees in education and ministry also, as well as social work and counseling. Microsoft Systems Engineer, Computer Technician Web, Design. Was a mechanic, Landscaper. Warehouse manager. Limousine Chauffer, etc.. Just wandering. Nothing even sounds appealing.
A lot of people don't have a drive towards any type of career. That's OK. And far more common than most people realize. You work to live. If work is not allowing you to live, just exist, then it's time to train for a career that will allow you to live.
Load More Replies...
I think it's ok, it gives you a perspective on what a specific job is really like.
Load More Replies... Am I lucky or cursed? I never had any romanticized illusions about any kind of work. I did love being a forklift driver, but I always say the work is great but the employers are terrible. I don't mind what I do now but I long since realized it's almost impossible to get a woodwind instrument perfect, and they're generally disgusting from people blowing into them all the time
I've never had any idea what I want to do. I'm 46 and a fire protection engineer. I just kind of fell into it. I don't like it. I've got degrees in education and ministry also, as well as social work and counseling. Microsoft Systems Engineer, Computer Technician Web, Design. Was a mechanic, Landscaper. Warehouse manager. Limousine Chauffer, etc.. Just wandering. Nothing even sounds appealing.
A lot of people don't have a drive towards any type of career. That's OK. And far more common than most people realize. You work to live. If work is not allowing you to live, just exist, then it's time to train for a career that will allow you to live.
Load More Replies...