“My Kids Will Eat Whatever We’re Eating!”: People Are Sharing 30 ‘Parenting Fantasies’ That Just Didn’t Work Out
Nearly every soon-to-be parent has a pretty clear idea of how they will raise their kids. Some fantasize about a screen-free childhood, while others imagine their kids agreeing with every word they say. But the truth is, nothing changes their approach to parenting more like actually having tiny humans coming into this world. Because as every experienced parent knows, reality quickly kicks in when you have to deal with their shenanigans all day, every day.
Well, writer and illustrator Aubrey Hirsch can relate. A few days ago, she took to Twitter to ask fellow moms and dads about the parenting fantasies they gave up on "swiftly and completely" after having kids. She kicked off the thread by revealing her own dream that quickly got shattered: "My kids will eat whatever we're eating!"
Her question resonated with hundreds of parents who wasted no time offering their own hilarious experiences. We at Bored Panda have gathered some of the best responses from the thread, and we hope you'll find comfort in knowing that ditching your ideals is not that big of a deal. Scroll down to read these funny and relatable tweets, and be sure to share your own stories with us in the comments, we’d love to hear them!
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As middle school teachers, we had two fantasies: that our children would never behave like our hormone crazy students, and that, if by any chance they did, we would have the answers! Hahahaha!
There was a period of about three months where I could flawlessly get my nap-resistant niece to fall asleep in ten minutes or less. Then she decided she wouldn't let me anymore.
Yup. They haven't eaten ANYTHING good for them for ages. Then......just eat any old c**p as long as it's food. Very worrying time. It does get better.
There was a little over a year that my little family couldnt go out to a restaurant that didnt service chicken nuggets ...only think my daughter would eat ...I know, bad mom, but in my defense I was working two jobs and just didnt have the energy to argue with her about it
You know there are people in this world who do terrible, terrible things to their children. THEY are truly bad parents. Too many chicken nuggets does not make you a bad mom, and don't let anyone tell you differently.
Load More Replies...Children will eventually eat when hungry and do not die from a single missed dinner. Humans are awesome like that.
It is neglectful to let them go to bed hungry.
Load More Replies...My 5yo daughter's favorite food is salmon nigiri. She'll eat what we eat, and if she doesn't want to eat, it's okay for a kid to go without a meal from time to time. If she's really hungry, she'll eat it. I think it would be much worse to teach her it's okay to eat junk at every meal and that I'll provide a different food if she decides she doesn't like something.
It's neglectful to let a kid go to bed hungry. You do realize that you should just be feeding them, not forcing them to eat things they don't like or sending them to bed hungry, right?
Load More Replies...I grew up this way, actually. Worked for my parents. I'm still eating everything.
... To be precise: I tried and ate everything my parents ate. And they were trying new stuff, foreign food Exotik thing a lot. I loved it! Still love it.
Load More Replies...I had one of those! Age 0-3, ate anything and everything. Age 3-6 ever decreasing list of acceptable foods. Eventually began tolerating more variety, but would still probably prefer to live off of buttered noodles, hot dogs, cheese pizza and pure sugar.
Me reading this and realizing I have the palate of a first grader: 😕
Load More Replies...There is actually a biological reason for this. Usually children become picky eaters as soon as they are able to walk easily. Before that they eat anything given to them because parents control what they have access to. But once they are able to move around easily they are in danger of ingesting toxic items so are programmed to suddenly become picky eaters.
They're not hungry if they aren't eating what you make. This isn't a cafeteria, where the kid picks out his food . You're in charge. Tomorrow is breakfast. Believe me they always ate breakfast. If giving choices for meals, say a is this, & b is this, now make your choice. This is it. Take it or go hungry.
While welcoming the little ones into this world is extremely rewarding, raising these tiny bundles of joy is far from an easy task. Sure, it's easy for parents to come up with certain ideas while they are expecting and fantasize about what kind of role models they would be to their kids. But even the most level-headed people feel confused after how much children can turn their life upside down. Luckily, that doesn't stop them from doing everything in their power to do what’s best for their kids.
Yes, just like most of us trying our best too. Being a parent isn't easy and if you think everyone have their shits together except you, open up to other parents and you will see that we have more things in common than looks like.
Load More Replies...Well, I'm not hitting my kid or destroying her stuff in fits of rage, so I dare say I am doing better on some points.
I don't find it shameful. At least we tried. Some parents just don't give a f**k.
Facts, no one is perfect but hey gotta give it to the parents who do their best to raise their kids into respectable healthy adult.
Abandonment by a mother is a very low expectation to exceed. Physical beatings by a father is a behavior that someone can aspire to avoid with their children. Some parents have been atrocious and therefore it is relatively easy to not repeat these behaviors that were horrendous.
I was an 80's free range kid. My children are sheltered. I'm afraid they're never going to have any of the adventures that have made me so self reliant and confident. They probably won't get kidnapped and drugged either though.
Honestly, I think my mom did a great job with the cards she was handed. I hope I can be as great of a parent as my mom was been and continues to be 🤷♀️
Some of us just move in the moment and forget to record things.
Load More Replies...But. By this time, the elder children are interacting too. That's a big deal. First one only had you..
Honestly I say this from personal experience, you live in the moment more than record it. I wish I was like my baby sister and just had her phone or other camera ready for pictures where as I'm in awe for my lil yahoos.
The only way that is possible if you don't do much baby book/crafting/saving things with the first kid.
My dad has had a calendar of photos from every day of my brother and my lives but he hasn't been able to update it the last few years
There's someone who's comment got censored and unable to comment back. BP does it again, I'm not afraid of downvotes just don't infringe on my right to freedom of speech, I want to have meaningful conversations, not be told that it's too offensive to talk openly like an adult.
Look, I only had one and only made it to about 4 months of that baby book. Lol. To be fair, I was a nanny to two other toddlers six days a week, 10 hours a day.
To be fair, some of those pre-printed baby books have weird expectations: I'm supposed to know what I thought when I was told I was having twins? And I'd have to cut off their first locks of hair to have everything complete?! I filled in most things I find important when they started daycare and I was still at home, but for the most part it's not made for parents...
Load More Replies...Mom had one on me in the 80's because I was a wanderer and without fail would always either get lost or hide. It saved her alot of anxiety with me
I was about 3 or 4. Was also the 80s. My mom worked at a sears in a mall. Took us one time to pick up something and her boss gave us candy. I asked for another piece and she snapped at me. I felt so ashamed I hid under a desk. They had mall security and just about everyone searching for me until my brother pointed me out. Out came the leash from then on lol.
Load More Replies...I've used them in crowded places, the ones with a backpack. A toddler can be surprisingly fast and unpredictable, and with no notion of risk. I'd rather have a toddler on "a leash" than a missing toddler...
I don't understand why people find this to be "cruel". You keep your child safe as you know they're close to you instead of wandering off god knows where, and they can't get away from you. Compared to these stupid dumbass parents that let their children run rampant in parking lots where drivers are just as stupid.
Yes. Reins for children are a good thing. They run into the road and DIE. Keep them safe.
I don't get why so many people get shamed for using them. They are (quite literally) a life saver. Some kids will go through a phase, or will always, be the type to just FLY if you let them. My niece has special needs and for a long time, she couldn't comprehend a lot of dangers. A so-called 'leash' was a much better option than letting her run out into traffic.
Honestly I've never seen anyone getting shamed for this
Load More Replies...I had a leash! Otherwise, I'd bolt too fast to be caught. My dad was a world-class hurdler and I apparently inherited his speed as a toddler.
I used to feel the same. My mum bought a monkey backpack with reins and I told her I would never use it. Well I ate my words. My son ended up needing it big time and I don't regret it. A tethered child is better than a dead child.
I used the dog to train the kid. Gave her the lead as soon as she could walk, the dog heels perfectly, so the kid stayed close. All the stuff she pulled, running away wasn't one. Wish the dog had chores, it would be too easy.
Parents all over the world deserve everyone’s respect for bending over backward to mold kind, smart, and simply decent human beings. But every now and then, they inevitably start to feel overwhelmed and even confused by their own actions. So if moms and dads want to keep their minds healthy and create positive relationships with their kids, they should try to set some ground rules and boundaries.
To learn more about household rules and maintaining a healthy balance when raising children, we previously reached out to Dr. Sarah Mundy, Consultant Clinical Psychologist and author of Parenting Through Stories. She explained to us in an interview that one of the main jobs parents have is to guide their kids. They must keep them safe and healthy and support them to engage in life. To do this, they also have to teach them to lead their own fulfilling lives, and setting boundaries is one way of achieving that.
Everyone always talks about the “terrible twos” but they always neglect to mention the FU Fours
I really like my kids. Sure they caused a little ruckus when they were little but really can't complain about their behavior. Maybe they could use a little more motivation, but so did I.
Hated that but most people complained to me about the 3yr old why's. How I could answer them all the time.
Yep. Or try to travel with kids.... 10x more expensive and with all that extra work. No, I absolutely don't do it as frequently as I thought I would.
I dunno, we found this worked perfectly well except for the 16+ years immediately following the birth...
You have to find the middle way. You have to work towards your child's schedule, but you can still do a lot with a child.
True, because children need to learn how to behave in public and do other activities like hiking, shopping, etc...but then you come on the internet and there are all these people how are totally outraged that you would bring your child out in public.
Load More Replies...Yes! Love my 8 yr old but it's Exhausting trying to stay 1 step ahead lol and I have 1!
Load More Replies...Yeah I can relate, especially when my l'il ones like to act like they're the Wild Thornberrys exploring everything that's new to them. My oldest does not help me sometimes and goes to be like Nigel Thronberry sometimes, smashing. Lol
My older sisters shaped my parents, I as the you gest, was shaped by the family, not the other way around
We kinda knew what to expect out of toddlers so didn't put ourselves into these situations.
Our life is mostly the same as it was before having our daughter, but that's because we're homebodies who don't really ever go anywhere.
I fondly remember the EP-format VHS tape of old cartoons made by a relative who had cable TV. It seemed to have worked.
Not really related to OP but we grew up in the boonies, friends in town with cable would record vhs tapes of MTV for us. The good ol’ 80’s.
Load More Replies...My 5yo has moved on from Peppa to Bluey and is now obsessed with everything PBS Kids. It's amazing how much she's learning from Wild Kratts, animal facts that I didn't even know, so I don't mind it at all!
I remember when it used to be all about Blues Clues with the original host Steve before he became bald, and Dragon Tales.
My aunt had this mentality until my cousin turned...3? That was like 25 years ago lmao
If not for Thomas, Blues Clues and Muppets, I would have never showered til she was in preschool.
I can just go, to the toilet or shopping, she's been able to put Peppa on by herself for years.
I'm proud to say my kindergartner can work Alexa, smart things, an iPad, a Nintendo switch, an Xbox, and a 3DS all by herself. In our digital age, she's going to have an edge. 🤣 Disclaimer though, we do limit, supervise, and participate. It's just she's a stage 5 clinger and very much a socialite and as an introvert I sometimes need like ten minutes of silence to continue to be a loving and compassionate mom. Even with encouragement, she's not likely to do anything alone for more than 15 minutes, including watching TV, before she's in our space again wanting someone to play or watch with her. I'm pretty sure most days the average time between "mom"s is 23 seconds. 😭
Load More Replies...My pap would tape cartoons and kids movies for me with his illegal cable.. the black box.. lol. I had like 109 vhs tapes of Disney movies and Looney toons and Scooby Doo all recorded by my pappy(grandpa) he would also record friends for my brother... Oh I miss the 90s
“It’s important that boundaries and rules are delivered with warmth and empathy,” Dr. Mundy told Bored Panda. “We are helping our children understand what they have been developed — not as a punishment but as a way of helping our children learn. After all, discipline means to teach, not punish.”
Once children become a little older, parents can start to involve them in creating rules themselves. Dr. Mundy said that more authoritative parents often allow autonomy and encourage independence whilst also setting clear limits on their kids’ behavior. “Children with authoritative parents tend to be more confident, have better emotional regulation and find life easier than those who have parents who are overly authoritarian (‘It’s my way or the high way’) or permissive (‘Just do whatever you want’).”
yes, some reading as long as you can focus over the sound of a screaming baby and the stress of never ending laundry
Not to mention severe sleep deprivation that makes you forget your own middle name, your address and if you switched the washing machine on before getting it all out, folding it and putting it away.
Load More Replies...I think it depends the child. My first 2 are close in age. And I had shorter maternity leave. I felt pretty overwhelmed. 3rd kid came many years later, maternity leave was amazing. I watches tons of TV, read books, did puzzles. House wasn't a horrible mess. Then covid came and I never returned to work.
Just play some loud music and miscellaneous noises and they'll get used to regular loud noise so you can try to at least get a few hours of sleep in.
I visited my parents several times for a few weeks each while on maternity leave with my twins. They live about 400m from the sea in a house big enough for 5 children and their spouses and children visiting, with a big garden and child safety things left over from when my nieces were born. My mother is a house wife, though she is a member of loads of societies and does a ton of volunteer work. So I got to enjoy some peace when my mother would watch the children, walked their pram by the beach or in the woods, chill in the garden when they'd fallen asleep (we let them sleep outside as much as possible when they were babies) and NOT COOK myself... It was a real vacation for me, and I miss it now that the twins are older and just follow me around wherever I go. Not to mention the first two weeks of daycare, when I didn't work yet in case they needed me, and I actually got to sew them two dresses!
Yeah. This is a total nope. Getting sleep? What is that? Especially on baby #2
Baby #4 ...what is sleep?.... and I was eating food out of my hands basically because the energy I had went to wiping a$$, feeding and keeping humans alive. Piled up dishes was far from my vision.
Load More Replies...I slept when the babies slept. Sons are 10 months apart so were on same nap schedule in afternoon for a while thankfully. Laundry etc was best done while they were awake!
I understand if you are a single parent. That is rough! But if you have a partner you should share responsibilities. If you are the one breastfeeding/taking all nights for example - sleep/rest when baby sleeps during the day and do the housework you manage to do but the rest you can share when your partner gets home. Or if you formula feed you can share/divide nights, let your partner take at least the weekends for example. If you have more than one child this is harder of course and then you need to share more. It doesn't have to be spotless at all times, prioritize what absolutely needs to be done. Also, I found it extremely helpful to have baby in a carrier/wrap when I did housework. But most of all - divide/share. It should never be one parents responsibility to care for the kids 24/7 alone. That's a divorce happening.
I was soooooo lucky. Both of my kids /3 and 4yo/ would sleep all night since they were around 3 months old. I tried so hard to synchronise their sleeping schedules and it payed off. They wake up around 7.30 and then nap around 13.00. In bed at 20.30-21.00. It's amazing. I can pretty much finish my work and chores too
Use a playpen. Your baby eventually learns to entertain themselves & you can nap knowing they are safe.
Lol or they learn to climb out of it! Mine was never one for being alone
Load More Replies...Exactly. I love her. I'd die for her. She drives me absolutely nuts, especially during witching hour and when my eye is twitching like Luisa's because of my kid saying "mom" every four seconds (happened last week). But I love her always.
Load More Replies...She does eat exactly what I cooked. As long as I cook exactly what she wants to eat.
Lucky. I never know. My youngest supposedly loves burgers but often won't actually eat one, my oldest supposedly hates carrots but carrot soup has been the most popular meal of the month.
Load More Replies...Don't forget that just because you don't love your child immediately after birth does NOT make you a bad parent or human. You may just be the type of person who likes people with a personality. Many, many people who had children have been stated as saying it took until the child was actually able to speak and run around on their own before they grew attached. That can make it more miserable too. Never have any expectations when it comes to your children except that they'll, hopefully, be healthy.
I loved both my kids but those first years were miserable and especially the first few months with everyone saying "treasure this time" (what, treasure getting two hours of interrupted sleep a night?) I occasionally had to restrain myself from violence.
Load More Replies...Last night I had to cook 3 seperate meals and it's like that most nights. We are a household of varying sensory issues, dietary issues and different tastes. I made butter chicken and rice for hubby, daughter and bf. I had chicken Korma with crusty bread and my son had chicken tenders with a side of rice mixed with a home made kecap manis.
Sounds like our home. I have food sensory issues, my kid is picky, and my husband is diabetic. The only foods we all agree on is rice and spaghetti. We do a lot of making different meals for each person. I have my stash, she has hers, and he has his. Also kiddo tends to eat less, but more frequently, so I make her food when she's hungry and not a specific time everyday. We often don't sit down for meals as a family, but instead we each just make our food and eat when we need to.
Load More Replies...With the food... honestly I rather want them to eat and not beg for snacks constantly after or when they are younger- throw tantrums because they are hungry. I guess it's a personal choice but I do try to make different types of meals sometimes so they can try, but the most important thing is that they eat at all. Adults don't like every food there is either. Sure, I would never serve chicken nuggets and fries everyday of the week, but I do make "kid friendly" meals on the regular that they actually eat - like meat balls, pasta and broccoli (a classic at our house) or rosted veggies with chicken.
And no, you don't have to like every aspect of parenthood. You can push swings or play with dolls or watch frozen a hundred times and be bored out of your mind - that's ok and normal. You do it for them. And then you have things you do for you to keep you positive enough to do what they want to do.
Load More Replies...I.. I've never said that out loud.. I thought I'd be a horrible person. I guess I'm a little harder on myself than I thought. I love my sons with all my heart but I truly wish I had waited until I was older and had my life somewhat together. Edit: grammar
I agree. But. If any parent is reading this with a child who has yet to learn to speak i need you to just really appreciate the lack of talking and questions you'll have today. I've been awake a half hour and I've already been asked 17 questions about snake people (or sneople) and asked for about 5 different types of food and been told the entire plot of the Lego Ninjago movie. Appreciate the kids who cannot speak.
However, some kids and teenagers have a rebellious side and often push the limits by misbehaving. While this can make parents' lives a bit complicated, children are much more likely to respect household rules if they understand their purpose and know they were set with good intentions, the psychologist argued. “Have a positive relationship with them,” she said. “The more playfulness you have in your relationship with your child, the more you listen to and support them, the more likely they are to follow your boundaries (with a bit of push and pull, of course!).”
When they are older - yes. Like after the first year. Best way to avoid tantrums. Newborns and babies - no, especially not newborns, it's easier to just follow their cues.
In my experience with my kids, maintaining a sleep schedule has led to them getting tired right when the schedule says they should be going down to sleep. Both kids start showing tiredness cues within half an hour or so of when they should nap or go to bed.
Load More Replies...I personally think having a schedual is important and teaches responsibility and makes sure parents get some alone time as long as its not something ridiculous like a teen having an 8pm bedtime
This is a good thing, as children need quite a bit of sleep for growth and development. But for the life of christ, if they come to you with nightmares, do not simply ignore them. And if they seem to always be getting sick, and are having obvious attention issues, get them a physical and some psychological checks. I never got this, and I'm totally screwed up now.
I did that too! But then I started getting tired around 11... If you're getting enough sleep you don't need a bedtime :)
Load More Replies...This is very true. I can feel my blood pressure raise when it's 15 minutes past her normal nap time.
My daughter is almost four, and she’s a live wire. I’ve been calling her “the energizer baby” since she was born. Before we started a sleep schedule/bedtime routine, she would be up until one or two in the morning while im exhausted on the couch thinking, “How are you STILL going?!”
I scheduled all 3 of mine plus 2 grands. Rarely had an issue but if they were off one day then we just rolled with it. Same with bottles, never really had an issue.
I had an app to keep track of when my twins slept and when they were awake (other things to, but this was the most important). I saw a pattern, so then I worked towards intensifying the pattern by snuggling or walking them at the "right" times until they had their (more or less fixed) nap times and usually slept through the nights at about half a year old. If I had just gone with their day to day sleepiness, I'd have gone mad... Of course, changes in their routine, sickness or growth spurts lead to variations of the schedule, like they always wake up around 5 since the clocks were put on summer time, but it's overall manageable. I can actually plan my day, too.
This @Joely King. The worst is realizing if they're past just tired they most definitely will not sleep.
Load More Replies...Yeah I am absolutely baffled at the ferocity with which my 3 month old will resist naps. He will literally smack himself in the face trying to stay awake. Baby fomo is so real!
Or "I'm tired, but not sleepy tired". Hah, it's 10 pm, you are leaning sideways and your eyes are half closed, you didn't finish the three crackers you begged me for and you are slurring your speech but if I contradict you we'll be up two more hours so just go be "not sleepy tired" in your bed FFS.
I struggle to fall asleep when I am tired and I have had decades of practice, why would a kid naturally do something that is so hard.
It only works if you put them in a high chair with an ice cream cone.
My 2nd son was tired he used to just lay down wherever he was and went to sleep 🤣
There's a balance... eating at Texas Roadhouse where it's already loud and is touted as family friendly = no tablets, no one's gonna hear my kids being loud. Went to a nice seafood place while on vacation = tablets so my kids don't disturb others at a quieter place.
As long as their digital babysitters aren't blaring so loudly people at neighboring tables can't enjoy their meal......
Load More Replies...Unless you’re an idiot who lets their kids play videos on full volume, which I don’t think you are.
This one I still stick to. We don't go to places with long waits, but I really want my kids to be able to be bored but still behave. I don't judge other families though because I have no idea what issues they are dealing with.
Especially since there are thousands of ways to keep them occupied without any screens. Colouring, reading, games you can play while sitting quietly, watching everything around you... I've only ever given my toddlers a screen to keep them quiet on three occasions: When I'm really, really sick, when I'm cutting their finger and toe nails (we always put on nature documentaries, they get to enjoy David Attenborough with us) and when the twins have night terrors, because I found out they (18 months) don't recognise my husband and me, but they calm down when I show them pictures of their older half sister (5). I really want them to keep being able to entertain themselves and enjoy their surroundings.
Load More Replies...My sister was insulted by another mother in a restaurant because her kids had tablets. ,"when I raised my kids we actually spoke to them" baby sisters response "tge tablets are so others can enjoy their meal not because I don't like speaking to my children". Stop Mom shaming other mothers to make yourself feel superior no one wins.
Somehow both my kids, 6 and 8, are very well behaved wherever we go. So thankful.
My kids have devices but they know to leave them at home. When we started going out we always brought a deck of cards with us. We started teaching them a simple trick taking game based on Euchre. We now play card games whenever we go out to eat or they bring a book, or they bring drawing implements. I even heard a guy whisper to his wife "Look! All three of those boys are reading!"
But sticking to the rules is not always easy, not even for the parents themselves. “As a parent, I sometimes set unobtainable boundaries (normally when I’m stressed and my children aren’t listening to me) only to have to renege on them,” Dr. Mundy recounted. She said it’s best to avoid going “in gung-ho” when something isn’t going your way and you’re not as emotionally stable as you want to be. “Such emotional states aren’t conducive to thinking straight!”
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with cosleeping. New studies show that, some safety precautions taken, cosleeping is beneficial for both mother and child.
I was determined to follow the rules, but my super clingy, "physical touch and quality time is my love language" baby, wasn't having it. From the day we brought her home from the hospital, she would not sleep unless I was touching her in some way. Not like newborn sleep and wake a lot, but would not sleep at all unless she was being held. It took less than a week for us to get a bassinet to put between us in the bed and I'd sleep with my arm inside the bassinet holding her hand. When she outgrew the bassinet we tried every sleep training method possible for like a month and a half (8pm- 3am every damn night) until I nearly dropped her once because I fell asleep from totally exhaustion while I was holding up her. it was then I decided it was safer to cosleep and take precautions than to risk dropping her. Since then she's slept 9+ hours straight every night. You have to be safe, but you also have to do what works for your baby and your family.
Load More Replies...My similar policy and advice to new parents is “make lots of suggestions and as few rules as possible.” Making a rule you don’t enforce is lying. We all know once lying starts it’s hard to trust anything the person says. “Is this a real rule or are they lying again….”
LOL! I feel this! I absolutely love to read and, therefore, wanted to instill this love in my own kids. I did alllll the things that the parenting articles said would raise a reader...and no. Neither one of them likes to read! (They're 19 and 22 now!)
Ah, parenting articles. I remember when my first niece was born, the doctor literally took a parenting magazine out of my sister's hands and said, "Just keep her warm. Keep her fed. Love her, and don't forget to water her. Everything else will work out how it's supposed to.
Load More Replies...Usually if you force it on them theyvwill go against it. It becomes a "chore" rather than a hobby. Its better to let them discover their interests on their own
Both my husband and I love to read and read a lot. Our daughter noticed I always had a book with me, early in her life. She's 26 and reads only things on the computer, never a book. Our son (24) reads on occasion. He even asks for books as gifts (he knows he'll always get them too. LOL). I worked as an elementary school librarian for a while in our town. The teachers (in our school) required reading and they would pick guidelines so the kids would try different types of books. One week it would be non-fiction, then historical fiction etc. Usually the selections coincided with lesson plans. We had many developing readers. Unfortunately, this type of teaching ended in our school. Once they moved on to middle school the only reading my kids did was while researching a subject on the computer.
My child is really really into music toys and music on tablet and he likes math. Its like they said lets create a child with the opposite skill set and interests as mom so they can learn from each other. He is 6 and could not be bothered to pick up a crayon or a puzzle or clay. I have degrees in art and design. In school I shyed away from math, and was terrible at band
I have 2, both legal adults at this point, and my oldest reads, and my youngest only reads when she's sick or was grounded and had no other choice (when she was young enough to be grounded). As a voracious reader myself, not sure how that happened, but it's an interesting experiment lol
I was a reading teacher and had an extensive library of various age appropriate (ie books for prereaders up to 12 year olds) and while one kid is in college degree set for creative writing. I have written children's books as well, but my other ADHD and dyslexic kid...nope, he did read every Garfield book I had, but that was about it until after high school. Now in his 30s he reads when he needs to, or when point him to a book that sufficiently grabs his attention and imagination. Fortunately I'm good at finding those. Now if he just had time to read as he is working very hard at his career...a common problem these days.
I love to read. I learned to read and write before I went to school and was a college level reader by 3rd grade. I wanted my kids to enjoy the fantasy book world or even history books as much as I did. My 7 year old is in mandatory summer school because he can't read at all, not for a lack of trying. He's getting better.
Teaching them to read gives me mixed feeling. On the one hand discussing books is fun and if want them to maintain our excess their reading level like I did. On the other hand, I read a lot because I was intentionally sheltered for RimWorld being a girl and no one in my house had time to play with me , then I found that good grades got me attention which encouraged me to work harder academically but almost completely neglect socializing and my peers, so I wouldn't say my love of reading came from the best place. More like I love to read because I didn't like where I was, so if my kid liked to read I'm pretty sure if be paranoid they were trying to escape reality as fiercely as I was.
I did them for all 4 of my kids- including twins! Used disposables rarely and appreciated them when I did but loved cloth. I found cloth wasn't too difficult, even when the diaper service we were gifted a couple weeks for closed just when baby#1 was born!
This is my first child and we use cloth diapers as well, I absolutely love them even though we have to launder our diapers ourselves.
Load More Replies...Omg yes! Idk how people do it. I had every earth mother intention. Nope.
I started looking at cloth diapers for my first kid, but I found out that 1) you have to commit a lot of money to a "system"; 2) the system you choose may not work for your baby ; and 3) the day care your baby ends up at might not allow cloth diapers. (And there is little evidence that they are better for the environment.) So we did disposable. And we had to use a different disposable brand for our second kid, so I am glad I didn't invest in a cloth diaper system.
Cloth vs disposable is a tough call, and it kind of depends on where you are. At first blush, cloth diapers appear to be more environmentally friendly, but they take a lot of water to launder. A LOT. OTOH, they're not filling up landfills like disposable diapers do. In the west (of the US), water is precious but landfills aren't as much of an issue, so disposables are a better choice (not great, but better). In the east (still in the US), water is more plentiful but landfills are a problem, choose cloth diapers. There is no great choice. Weigh the pros and cons where you are.
If you have difficulty keeping up with laundry (justifiably, you just had a f*ckin baby), disposable.
Load More Replies...I used cloth diapers with one kid until he weaned himself at 3 months and started on cereal. Even nastier diapers, so nope.
My kid was lactose intolerant and we didn't find out until after she stopped breastfeeding. We did cloth. It wasn't terrible. Much better than disposable
Load More Replies...There are some fabulous cloth diapers out there. The services I’ve seen are harder to use than the ones I bought to wash myself.
My parents did it, we did it for our 2 kids. Wasn't hard, better for the environment and saves about 2k per kid a year on diapers.
I love cloth diapers! Started when my first was about a month and have had 3 kids in cloth. No chemical smell (almost no smell at all), plastic feeling, more economical AND definitely more eco friendly (even with the water consumption). Always diapers at home. And modern cloth diapers are cute!
I tried cloth, got a service as a shower present...NEVER enough diapers Ever...
“Set boundaries that are realistic and achievable and don’t overdo it. You all need to learn and remember what they are and have time to put them into place. Try to help children learn that what is being asked is fun — and teach them how to do them or do them together in the first instance,” Dr. Mundy suggested. But if you lack the energy to create rules in the first place, don’t beat yourself up. “Reflect upon whether you are asking too much of yourself or your child and whether you need to look after yourself a bit more.”
I have been trying to super cut back pacifier time for my 2 year old. He has been calling my bluff by sucking his thumb.
Great if your child accepts one. My mother always told the story that on my first night home I cried and they gave me a pacifier to calm me while preparing the milk (mom couldn't breast feed) but I just spit it out, refused the pacifier every time they tried. My two nieces do that too by the way. Well, our neighbors weren't happy but yeah what to do about it. 😂
I had my daughter put her pacifier on the plate with Santa's cookies for a baby who needed it (pre covid she's 10 now) and it worked like a charm!!
My oldest nephew could not sleep without his binky. My sis thought she had it all figured out until younger brother came along, and he quite literally pitched his binkyy across the room, and would have nothing to to do with it. Then my daughter came along, and we have an ultrasound image of her sucking her thumb, which is what SHE needed to sleep after she was born (and has straighter teeth than I do btw). They are all little individuals no matter what we expect. How about that!
We were warned that bottle feeding could make breastfeeding more difficult. That was terrible advice.
To be fair, my twins were bottlefed in hospital (they were in the neonatal ICU and I was in another wing to get my blood pressure under control) and they noticed very quickly when I tried to breastfeed that the bottle was easier. I continued to try for over three months - they also got my breast milk in bottles from the pump - but neither did I have enough milk nor did they really start suckling properly. So yes, in some cases, the bottle makes it more difficult.
Load More Replies...Another one I thought I would never do. Both my kids ended up with dummies. My daughter had hers for about 6 months and one day decided she would rather suck on 2 of her fingers instead. And my son wouldn't give up his dummy til he was almost 4. It was a real battle trying to get him to give up his dummies even after I stopped buying them. He had a hidden stash somewhere of previously "lost" dummies. Every time I would throw one away coz he had a habit of chewing the tip, soon after he would appear with another dummy.
A pacifier can be greta for babies as it helped their jaw muscles develop and gives them something to do besides just look about. They can't choke on them. Just give up on this battle.
Falling in to them isn't the problem, inforcing them is. Kids are gonna like what they like, shaming them for liking something is the issue.
Me: here are tonka trucks! my daughters: this is a mama truck and this is a baby truck!
In many cases if you give your daughter 3 trucks they'll become a mommy, daddy, and baby truck.
I have a girl and the same, so many cars. Don't think you can avoid that with either, unless you actually ban cars.
That was me as a kid. a couple of my favorites were the batmobile and Lamborghini coutach.
Load More Replies...I figured I'll dress my kids how I like, until they have their own opinions. Then, I'll let them pick their clothes (within reason).
What really interested me was the difference between the way my nieces played together and my sons played together (same ages). With the girls, lots of conversation and negotiations. With the boys pretty much lots of nonverbal noises. Loud noises.
My daughter(7yo), wants her nails painted. When I am finished, my son(5yo) will want to gets his done too. They can pick whatever color we have. I don't have a problem with it. My son also has a baby doll, he ❤️'s that doll. He takes care of it. It sits with him while he plays with his cars and Legos. Kids, no matter their gender, are still exploring their world, they like what they like. Don't get hung up on stereotypes.
Pretty much all young kids like cars. Just like pretty much all young kids play with dolls (if allowed and encouraged to do so). I think this was the positive thing with having a boy and girl close in age - they had access to all type of toys and played with what they liked. And they shared clothes a lot so we dressed them in all types of colors (my older boy's (he's 9) favorite color is still yellow - a pretty "gender neutral" color) Yes, they do tend to be influenced when they start daycare/pre-school/school (sadly) even though teachers try to encourage them to play with different things nowadays. But I don't believe we are programmed by biological sex, it's something they learn imo.
I have four. Three have an open mindset and we can discuss. One is instantly resistive to most ideas she didn’t come up with. Innate temperament.
This actually does work for my kindergartner most of the time unless she's hangry or overtired or uncomfortable in some way (she has skin sensitivity and clothes get uncomfy sometimes). As long as I catch her needs early enough and meet them, she's really good about compromising and reasoning things out. Most of the time when she's upset she will ask for us to "go have a talk". I think the key with the above expectation though is, it's not about her coming around to my way of thinking, it's about her participating in solving the problem together, which may or may not be what I was originally suggesting.
The goal is not to get them to come around to your way of thinking. The goal is for you to understand why they are behaving that way, make them feel loved and heard, and work together on a solution.
I can't believe someone downvoted you. You are exactly correct. It doesn't matter that she does things my way, it matters that she is present and participates in us solving the issue together. I WANT her input. She's a whole person with her own needs and wants that deserve to be as valued as mine. I'm not better than her because I'm older. She's smart and given the chance is rather good at coming up with ideas to solve problems. And because she knows her voice is valued, when I have to say no to something because it's harmful or we can't afford something or it's not good for her in some way, she is a lot quicker to accept my "no" because she trusts me to hear her and accommodate when I can. And this way, she learns problem solving skills and cooperation instead of to rely solely on an authority figure for guidance.
Load More Replies...I had an amazing child. I would say, "Bear, don't do that.". He would respond "Ok." and actually stop.
Validate then two options then if no decision it's mom or dad's turn to pick. Give a little time processing takes a bit. 20 - 30 seconds a good rule of thumb. I see you look sad. Sad is a hard feeling. We can get a hug or wait 10 seconds. But the key is consistency so they can learn the process.
It's not that hard once you understand the basic principles: 1. You validate kids feelings and help them calm down. You never negotiate with crying kid, because that just teaches them to cry. 2. You stay consistent and enforce your word. If mom/dad said something then it will happen. No matter how much kid cries, shouts or tries to bend the rules. 3. You stay flexible if your kid makes a good counterpoint though. If your kid asks why can't they talk at the table and you have no good answer for them, then maybe they should be able to talk at the table? 4. You leave your kid a lot of freedom on things that aren't dangerous to them, other people or someone's property. Clothes, which vegetables they want to eat with their food, what books they want to read, what games to play and etc. The more freedom you leave your kid, the more seriously you'll be taken when you say "no".
Navigating the parenting minefield can be overwhelming, nearly every parent can attest to that. Luckily for us, Dr. Mundy was ready to offer some advice on setting healthy rules and finding balance within the family. First, she noted to think about what is important to you as a parent. “What do you hope to teach your child and how will you do this in a way? Don’t go overboard with too many rules — start early with small expectations of tasks that you can do together.” Then, make sure to consider what is meaningful to your child. “What are they able to manage? We often expect more of children than they are actually able to do,” the psychologist explained.
My nephew thinks McDonald's only opens once a week and only during very specific times of the day and it's not the same time every day it's open.
I told my son that the tooth fairy and Santa stop coming when a child's age becomes a double digit (ie 10, 11, etc) and parents take over because as new kids enter the world they can't get to everyone.
I've told my kid the ice cream van plays the tune to inform everyone they're out of ice cream
I’m pretty sure my mom has never lied to me. This includes never being allowed to believe in Santa Claus.
I never understood why some parents lie about such things, why can't they just say no? Kids need to learn that things will not always go their way. My daughter knows we won't go to every McDonald's we see. She can ask, of course, and she often does. However, she doesn't expect that the answer is always yes, and takes the no usually without drama. And when we do go, it's our special little party! And just to make it clear: my daughter is not a perfect little angel. She came with her own parenting challenges for us...
Best parental lie I’ve heard of: Chuck E. Cheese is open by invitation only. If you’re not invited to a birthday party there, you cant get in
I told mine that the Burger King playground was closed because it needed to be cleaned.
I never lied to my kids. I think this is why they had it right way back when with the the mom or nowadays dad staying at home. I stayed home and my kids were not allowed on the computer and did not have phones or tablets. It can be draining but going out to the park, crafts etc is so much better. Once tech came on the scene people forgot generations were raised without all of that.
I think the "cry it out" method only teaches them that when they cry for help, no one comes. It's not self-soothing, it's crying themselves to sleep, and they only sleep through sheer exhaustion.
I remember reading that kids living in orphanages do not cry because they know nobody will come anyway. This makes me always so sad.
Load More Replies...The “cry it out” method harms children on an attachment and nervous system level. I’m glad you abandoned this.
Yeah I could stand 1 minute of my baby crying, then I'd cry from guilt and pick my baby up and comfort it lol
Oh my God crying it out is a horrible thing to do, please don't do that!
I visited an orphanage in the Philippines and it was dead silent not because there wasn't any babies but because none of them cried...there were to many with too little help so they just stopped crying saddest thing I've ever witnessed that was the day I said I would never do the cry it out method
If giving them a plush animal doesn't work, maybe they're just scared for reasons you don't understand and need comfort. That's all
LOVE THIS! the whole 'don't talk back to me' is the worst. the kid is trying to explain themselves, answer sth u literally asked, stand up for themselves, the parent refusing to have a proper conversation + just wants to one-sidedly shout at the kid, or the parent realised they're actually in the wrong/mistaken + can't take it. kids' emotions, feelings, thoughts, rights etc are so grossly dismissed + negated. why are you, the parent, allowed to say your bit + express urself/ur emotions etc but the kid (still learning to communicate, understand feelings, regulate behaviour, learn social skills etc) has to just stay shut up, take a shouting/berated, can't defend themselves, + bottle every thought/feeling up? then they wonder why their kid doesn't want to open up/talk to them, express emotions etc later in life. i'm a firm believer of 'if u wouldn't do it to an adult, don't do to a kid'. u wouldn't yell at an adult + then shut them down. why would u do it to a kid? esp one at ur mercy?
We turned "don't talk back" to "watch your tone" and he back tracks and says what he's thinking/wants in a nicer way. We want him to be able to express himself but we want him to be respectful while doing so. Granted it's a work in progress but we're getting there.
If my kindergartner talks back, I calmly ask her to try saying it again in a more respectful way. If it's because she's mad, I let her know we'll talk about it later and just table the whole discussion until she's calm and not likely to get herself in trouble by being rude out of anger. I'm not going to allow her to be rude to me (in life, she has to learn to express herself kindly, and I'm going to model for her not allowing someone to mistreat me), but we will have the discussion where she can express her side and feelings once she's had a chance to calm down and think things through a bit more. I will also coach her through calming down if she wants my help.
That’s nice. If I talked back to my mom I got a switching. It taught me to bottle things up until I explode in an unhealthy way, usually at someone undeserving over something trivial.
Parenting is essentially preparing your kid for their next phase of development. Whether that be encouraging them to crawl or teaching them how credit cards work. Aside from them being flat out disrespect or mean, why in the world would you so severely stunt their development by taking away their ability to process thoughts and communicate? I was in my 30s before I could properly identify my own thoughts and sense of self, and separate them from what I thought I should be thinking. Gosh I hope that makes sense lol.
I want to do the same for my kids, I was never allowed to speak my piece and now I'm terrible at communicating, I don't want that for my kids.
God, I got this so much as a kid, and a bunch of times I wasn't even talking back. Made me resent my parents. Not yelling at you is one thing. Screaming into the void then coming up to you and expressing their feelings is more healthy. But congrats on your for understanding people actually need to walk through their feelings.
Im against the dont talk back to me. Teaches unhealthy obedience and to just be submissive to "higher ups" even if they are wrong. Better to teach them to stand their ground n stand behind what they believe in
There’s a balance here too though. Giving a kid the chance to speak vs actually “talking back”. My dad never let us say anything, we were always “talked at” instead of “talk to”. There was no conversation; just shut up and do what we’re told to do, think, say. On the other hand, my 8 year old niece always tries to argue with everything you tell her to do or not do, usually including “but i want to do…”, which is usually the opposite of what she’s being told to do. She always has to get in the last word, usually something smart-alecky or rude.
If you’re ready for some new ground rules, start with a few simple ones to share with your child. “If they are older you can develop these together. Make sure you are also happy to follow the rules (when appropriate) and explain why these are important,” Dr. Mundy said, adding that you should try to stick to the boundaries so they would become habitual in your household.
My brother, sister and myself were fully bilingual in the national and the regional language (which is quite distinct from the national language) before we went to primary school. Also, learning German from TV, and later adding English and French in school.
Go with sign language. Kids find it fun, pick it up easily and way earlier than speaking. Learn it with your kids. Once you get the idea, signs make perfect sense and are therefore easier to remember. Plus you can communicate with them discreetly if need be.
I know Czech-dutch family. Two Boys are bi, maybe even tri lingual, the you gest is clinging to dutch dad And speak Ing ONLY dutch
It helps if someone in the household actually speaks a second language. Our college French classes did not cut it.
My mother speaks Spanish and never kept up on it with us. Now, I have no capacity for language besides English. So yeah.
My parents used to say "do you want to help with this work?" And when we'd answer no, they'd tell us to entertain ourselves. Worked well
Yup. We're doing this. Do you want to help or watch your iPad?
Load More Replies...I grew up using a computer (in the 80's and 90's), so it's hard for me to say "no screens" but I have resorted to turning the power off to the big TV (and I mean from the breaker box).
My husband and I are gamers and he's a computer guy. I decided early that she's going to grow up in an electronics filled household anyway, so I may as well lean into it and help her become proficient early with video games and computers and maybe it'll give her an edge. Obviously it's in moderation and healthy balance, but that's what we teach, balance, rather than no screens.
Load More Replies...Okay so heres the thing. I know its diffrent for each house. But in ours the kids are given a time zone to play devices. Summer its 3-6 and thsts if we get school done (we homeschool during summer as the schedule helps them out) during fall its 2 hours if home works done. Long as you set them up with boundries and time limits device's are a huge help to get stuff done or just take a bit of time for yourself And aside note we download offline games then take off the wifi so they cant go on the internet. If they want a new game we turn it on download then have the device forget the wifi .been a load off my mind thsts for sure lol
Both my kids were babysat by the tv for their first 6 months. First one by the daycare provider who I PAID. And the second by me during the lock down while I worked at home because I was desperate. They’re fine.
I was that grandparent. Now, you will rarely hear me complain. I hate myself..... 😮💨😒
I had the same opinion at first! I though my son would not have any electronics till he’s maybe 6 or 7, but here I am now with a tablet hooked to the back drivers seat of my truck playing “hey bear” and “super simple songs” so he doesn’t scream for the entire ride 😆
Oh good gawd yes. We did great until late middle school... then it was over.
My parents had 5 kids. All but one of us participated in 3 sports a piece as well as all of us being involved in multiple clubs. Money wasn’t ever really the problem but the scheduling conflicts were absolute torture on everyone. Edit: spelling
I look back at my 5 kids that I "limited" to 3 activities each! Thank goodness one was choir that met at the same time once a week for all of them! Was I crazy? Only the year we had just one car! 😜😱
If you notice they're doing something besides just homework too (drawing was the thing for me), just let them do that too
My mom did that; all the extra curricular stuff for me and my brother. And my grandmother said it perfectly to me just a couple years ago: I'm so glad you let your kid be a kid instead rushing from one activity to another. You kids missed a lot of your childhoods! Well put, Grandma!
As someone who does piano, violin, table tennis, dance, gymnastics, vocal, and extra math classes and quit guitar, figure skating, and swimming, I'd say one or two is the right amount, because my parents forced me into most of these. I'd say that the only ones I joined by choice are gymnastics and dance.
“If you come up with struggles in setting these boundaries, don’t panic. Think about why this might be, whether you are being too rigid or too permissive, whether you need more time connecting with your child, etc. Always try to take responsibility for what you did wrong and repair your relationship with your child,” Dr. Mundy concluded.
I can’t stand all that noise. I guess I was one of those parents but it was because I couldn’t handle the noise.
I take it these new parents didn't account for grandparents, aunts, uncle's, friends, birthdays or Christmas...
Yeah, no loud toys was a rule I set early and informed everyone of... No one, not even my fiancee listened...
Load More Replies...Wood toys seemed great, until the chewing started. And check the manufacturer because it's disturbing how many wood toys don't use non toxic paint. Beyond that "bright" toys aren't bad, colors are supposed to help developmentally.
My sister refused to let my nephew have toy guns. He runs around with anything - wooden block, teddy bear, a Hot Wheels - in his hand going “bang-bang, pew-pew!”
I wish my kid would play with 1 of her hundreds of toys but she would rather just play with all of me and my wives random c**p
We definitely buy noise toys but for the most part I love to buy wood. It lasts
Kids get messy, it is the way of life. As long as it doesn't go into unhygienic level, let them be messy.
Haha. My kid can put on a clean outfit and look like a homeless person 5 minutes later. I have no idea how she does it.
I am 56 years old and I am still that way. Lol. I can still hear my mom telling my sister to pick me up and carry me to the car because dirt just jumped on me.
Load More Replies...They're babies and children. Everyone seeing them in stained clothes will understand lol
I loved onesies. My kids were in them if nothing else.
Load More Replies...I’ve never understood parents who have to have their kids immaculate 24/7. It’s just not reasonable.
We were at an extended family gathering in a park. My toddler found a mud puddle and I was letting her stomp her feet in it. One of the other kids told me I should stop her, "She's going to get dirty. My dad wouldn't let me do that." I said "She's okay the mud will wash right off and look how happy she is." I think she ran off to get her dad. LOL
Load More Replies...Neil deGrasse Tyson has a great interview about this.. From one smart m*f**ker.. to creating another.. Paraphrasing.. Essentially, the reason they make messes, is because they're learning how their environment works. If you can't embrace that, you shouldn't have kids to begin with. Here's the actual.. Shorts.. https://youtu.be/tbX6aMfPtEw .. Same, but with a bit of dramatic effect... https://youtu.be/U8L_bhQ0Lto The full "impact theory" interview. https://youtu.be/Tv0kQbOIrjY
I have a great photo of my son sitting in a hole covered in mud/clay. He's so happy holding up both fists full of mud too. We'd been digging transplant holes and he "helped". So glad we didn't prevent him from enjoying himself that day.
Load More Replies...Children will rarely, if ever, be the same as the one before. Oh sure, I wouldn't get myself into a rage if they didn't have a third bottle ready for me the instant my first was done (as was the case with my brother), but I didn't eat a whole lot, so I would wake them in the middle of the night. And where my brother was very strong willed and head strong, I really should have gotten therapy and never did. Never get into a rhythm from your first child for your second.
Our first child has been mostly an easy one. She's a really good kid and while we have our struggles, its part of the reason I worry about trying for a second child. I was a difficult child, so both karma and statistics suggest the next kid will be a hellion. I'm not saying that'd stop me from trying, but it's something I'm double checking if I'm mentally and emotionally prepared to deal with.
Load More Replies...Less than a year apart wasn't a huge difference at first. I already wasn't sleeping all night. Spent all time on diapers, narrating everything we were doing, feeding and keeping clean and entertained. I think when they are 2-3 years apart its probably the hardest because of the difference in schedules and abilities. The funniest thing was my 11 month old wanting to feed and hold his newborn brother all the time. At 13 and 12 they are still thisclose
Haha, lol. One to two was REALLY hard imo, especially as they came 13 months apart (wouldn't recommend it honestly). It's not even "just" twice the work... it's much more. Two to three was much easier, but also my older kids were 7 and 8 by then and much more independent.
My kids age gap is pretty similar to yours. It's amazing to me the confidence ans ease I felt with the 3rd one.
Load More Replies...Hahaha that was us! Except as first time parents we thought all kids were like the eldest. Turns out twins were easier than the eldest ever was.
My kids have sensory issues. No way am I eating their plain gross repetitive meals all the time. I can only manage unsalted boiled peas a few times a week.
Same my kiddo has sensory issues (special needs) and is actually my adopted kid and his biological father used food as a source of abuse so if he says "no i won't eat that" and we push him it causes a huge melt down. He'll eat pasta, pizza, and grilled hot dogs with us. But if we're having anything else it's not gonna kill me to throw a grilled cheese on the stove, slap together a pb&j, or reheat some left over pasta.
Load More Replies...I can see "either you eat the dinner I make or you eat something simple" as a viable option. By simple, I mean something I can make without much effort, like PB&J sandwiches. I will not make two completely different meals, but not eating anything is also a problem.
My kid only eats simple things, so this works. Her go to "meal" choice is a banana with peanut butter 🤷🏻♀️. It's what she likes.
Load More Replies...Dude totally missed the point and mansplained it to her... While pulling the whole "me father you obey" s**t.
My Father liked liver and onions so they tried force feeding their ten children into eating it too. Dad ate like a king and we ate nothing. When we smelled it cooking we wouldn’t bother going to the dinner table. It was ridiculous.
Load More Replies...I have nieces and nephews. I take their allergies and tastes into account when I cook for them. They have to try it, if they don't like it, they can have a sandwich. I *Hated* lima beans and peas because of their texture. Instead of listening to me that I wasn't trying to be bad, I had to sit at the dining room table until I ate them all. It's been about 30 years and I still remember it like yesterday. If one of them can explain to me why they don't like something, I will 100% listen and keep it in mind going forward.
We ate what was put in front of us or we didn’t eat. Lucky for us Mom was a wonderful cook.
That is mean. Why has a child to like what their parents like? My fiancè dislikes fish, I like it, I do not force him to eat fish or go hungry. He can always make himself a sandwich or whatever he likes. Children should have the same rights.
We have a plate of cucumbers and watermelon for those that don’t want to eat what I make.
We did stick to my parents rule, you have to try some. Then if they absolutely hated what we'd made, they get to have something else. We always tried to have something we knew for sure they'd eat along with whatever was new.
Our son grows up trilingual (father speaks Turkish, I speak Swiss German, family language is English), we also sometimes switch languages mid-sentence. Our kid will be one year old soon, and I have the impression that he understands at least some things in all three languages. I’m looking forward to him starting to speak.
Oh, that is so exciting! Good luck with the adventure! 😊 My son is growing up bilingual with Polish (mine and country's language) and Spanish. Our family language is Spanish though, to maximize his exposure as much as possible. It's always important to give some extra boost to the language that the child has least opportunities practicing.
Load More Replies...My experience is people find it unsettling when you speak to your child in another language. Plus it's complicated sometimes to change. Being a parent is difficult enough without adding more complications. Speak what feels natural. People kept commenting (criticising) that my son only spoke in Spanish. We got off the plane in England as soon as he realised he switched to English and didn't say another word in Spanish until we came back.
Lol, we have a third, too. I speak one language, her father another, and then sometimes she replies in the third. So much fun when people see it for the first time. Luckily we live in a country where it's not that weird.
I would proudly look back to those strange looks! I live for my child's bilingualism. It's the best gift I can give him. Anyway, a lot of parents underestimate how big of an endevour it is to raise a bilingual child. It's good to back yourself up with some good books on the topic in order to know what commom problems usually come up and how to prevent them.
Yeah my family will do that with English and Hindi but whenever somebody comes over who doesn’t speak one of the languages, it always feels unnatural to speak in just one language
My baby is too young to try, but someone told me, if you want to make them stop asking "Why?", ask them "What do you think?" Then the child has to give an answer and might start to think.
That's what my mom did. Mom, what does "prolixity" mean? You know where the dictionary is.
Load More Replies...Never had a problem with this one. I didn't curse in front of my parents, still wouldn't. Not cursing in front of the kids was easy. The only time I'd mess up was behind the wheel. Even then I'd try to curb it. My husband will correct the kids (both in their 20's) "Language!" and they apologise. I think it's funny, both of us curse on occasion. On the other hand being able to shut it off in certain situations is a good tool to have.
Had a colleague with the same rule at home. Sailors would have fled our office.
Mama words for my nephew and sometimes he scolds me for saying mama words because only mama is allowed to say them
I always wonder if I would have more energy if I have had my boy at age 26 and not 36…
I was 36 with the first. 39 with the third. And my ex is 12 years older. I'm now 52. He was 51 with the 3rd kid. Poor guy LOL. I can't imagine having 2 toddlers and a baby this age. It was fun, but now I'm tired.
Load More Replies...I remember telling my mom "no kids over 30. I will never be one of those "old moms"". In reality I was much more (mentally) prepared to have a child at 33 compared to when I was 24 and 25. But yes, your body handle pregnancy and childbirth much better when you are younger.
True, but it probably would have hurt more later. (Just over 40, I definitely don't have the same amount of energy I had ten years ago.)
My kids moved back due to Covid etc. I'd never close the house to them. They want to move out and are doing their best to do so. Once they can again, the door will still be open. Their rooms maybe different but we can adjust. When I moved out I never had to go back, but I knew I always could if I needed to. It's a good feeling.
As long as you get the dog a couple of years before the kids. Dog trained and a calm adult by the time kids come, perfect.
There's nothing I hate more when parents say "because I said so" instead of giving a reason why
I don’t think we always need to explain but it does help to instill in your child that you have their best interest in mind. Mine don’t usually need me to explain. Often they just do what I ask because they don’t want to listen to my boring explanations any longer.
If you don't want to have a messy car when you have kids, just don't have a car.
America really needs to work harder to support breastfeeding. As in the first few weeks. Support for both the mother and baby. So many people could be successful if they just had support to help with latch.
Breastfeeding is hard work but can be very rewarding. Yes it did hurt for a while with my first but never with child two or three. Also, it really requires a supporting partner! Everyone is free to choose and fed is best - just had to add that.
My son had crazy eczema. As he'd drift to sleep he'd scratch himself until he was bleeding. His face became infected almost over night. There wasn't anything really safe to use on a baby. Every night I'd hold him against my chest and put his hands on either side of my head. I held him like this until he fell asleep and my husband would move him to his crib. We did this until my husband told me he was getting to heavy to carry. Once he fell asleep he was a very sound sleeper and we'd put mittens on him just incase he did wake up.
Yes. Feeding your kids food is a smart way to keep them alive
Load More Replies...The sound track to my entire childhood at my grandparent's house was WBBM (Chicago news/weather).
Load More Replies...The only time we had a tantrum was when my daughter suddenly became ill. She had been fine and suddenly she looked flush, and I could feel the heat radiating off her. I took the semiful cart to front of the store, apologised to the people there and just left it. I'd been shopping there for ages and they were understanding.
I didn't believe them when they told me how much I'd miss it. Miss not having room in my own bed? No way! Six months later, still miss it.
My MIL saved my when my daughter was a toddler. I was so tired entertaining her. She told me, leave her alone. Keep an eye on her but let her entertain herself. Sure enough, some fake food and dishes a few stuffed animals she had a party. When we adopted our son, same thing only different toys and he was able to do the same. They were happy to play together but also alone. Love my MIL!
What ever happened to bringing crayons and paper with you to a restaurant?
Sometimes it's just not enough and they can get bored very quickly. Sometimes those little balls of energy can only sit there when they have a screen to focus on
Load More Replies...I did draw a line on stuffed animals or dolls that talked. I didn't even like buying dolls unless my daughter specifically asked for one. I bought them both plain old stuffed animals. They had to provide all sounds and story lines. FYI I did buy a doll for my daughter once, she asked for it and it wasn't very long before she yanked it's head off.
My mom would shove me away "It's too hot" or whatever. I got to the point where I didn't want her to touch me period. As an adult I bite the bullet to hug her when I see her but I could do without it.
No. It was a myth made up by some county(Britain maybe) to try and hide infrared tech.
Load More Replies...Unfortunately that gets thrown out the window too. My daughter has one near eye and one far eye. She could only see the TV if she was right close to it. Eyes do not want to "look" together either.
Camp in back yard. Make a camp under a table with a blanket over it
It is abrupt abdominal pains in healthy infants that causes them to cry a lot. Very stressful for babies and parents alike.
Load More Replies...Kid muscles have to be ready for potty training. Don't let society guilt you because your kid is not ready at a certain time.
Bought a play pen/activity centre thing with the idea it would be handy to place the little one in there to chill out while parents Get Things Done. Turned out he hated it and refused to stay inside even a couple of minutes, so it ended up being used as a secure compound for all the things we wanted him to keep away from.
Certain children are more sensitive to textures and colors
I know parents who always only give their kid super healthy food. Candy there is a rice cracker. When he visits, he eats the whole bag of candy, a bag of chips lol.
You shouldn’t restrict your kid to ONLY super healthy food. You should give them some candy every once in a while
Load More Replies...If she's with them from the start, she will love dogs. Did everything right. She does like dogs, but she's a cat person, although the dogs adored her and the cats didn't even like her when she was a baby (normal, babies are loud).
The girl avoided your indogtrination! The cats and their loyal slaves shall take over the world! MEOWAHAHAHAHA!
Load More Replies...There is no manual for raising kids. Like adults, kids are all different. You have to adjust your parenting for each child.
I commented this on one of the comments earlier, but never have any expectations from the get go, except that your child will hopefully be healthy. This will make you be able to roll with the punches better. If you have a line of expectations in your head, especially the stricter ones like not having any electronics in the house, you're setting yourself up for a horrible time. Just as your child will be learning how to live and enjoy life, you'll be learning how to be a parent. Just takes a step at a time (or sometimes a 30 yard dash, but that's besides the point).
"Because I said so". If that's your best argument then you've failed. My step-daughter will have a generally intelligent conversation about why or why not and she'll keep grinding away until I fall back on that. I did (she's now an adult and gets adult consideration) encourage discussion but dang...
Honestly, I'm thinking of just going back to our ancestral genes and bringing them everywhere with me. Sleeping with them, eating with them, and overall doing everything with them until they eventually start to wander. At that stage, I'll let them join me in what I'm doing, but they will want to play with other kids. I think babies cry so much because they aren't supposed to be just left alone in the forest. Aka crib. They'd be eaten. So they cry as a self defense. I believe that taking them everywhere will fix this until they're old enough to explore on their own. But, who knows, I could be totally wrong.
And by take I mean carry. I will carry them weather it be by backpack or piggy back, or side hold. Body to body contact as it is in the wild.
Load More Replies...I think most important thing is that as a parent you don't try to be perfect and know from the start that you'll mess up. And that's okay. No parent is perfect. As long as you do your best to raise your child to be a decent person and raise them with love and respect, you're doing a great job. And doing your best is all you can do. There's no guarantee that your child will actually turn out decent. Some people break contact with their parents even if the parents really did raise their children with love. Or turn out horrible and selfish. As a parent you'll always find that you could have done certain things better. And fat chance your children will hold certain things against you. It's normal. I hold things against my parents. My children will hold things against me. My grandchildren will hold things against them. But, one may just hope love and forgiveness is enough.
Your kids will eat what everyone else eats as long as 1) you don't cave in and give them another option, and (2) you don't eat weird s**t that normal humans don't eat, like Natto and overly spicy stuff. I hear people complain about this s**t and then ask them what they make that their kids won't eat... and it's like... no s**t, I wouldn't eat that garbage either.
Children are people and are learning just like you!!! :) Thats what i love about the little boogers. Cant wait to be a parent someday.
The reality of having a child, if you don’t want to change anything in your life or love your freedoms, don’t have kids! It’s a choice to have them as well as everything that comes with. A lot of people have them for selfish reasons and then don’t do justice to the child, as it doesn’t turn out how they imagined.
When we found out we were having twins I thought "yay" this is going to be so easy. How hard could it be to care for one more tiny nugget? NOT! I was so wrong! I'm not sure how I survived the first 6 months but somehow I did. By the way, I already had kids and my twins were a complete surprise. They are 13 now.
If she's with them from the start, she will love dogs. Did everything right. She does like dogs, but she's a cat person, although the dogs adored her and the cats didn't even like her when she was a baby (normal, babies are loud).
The girl avoided your indogtrination! The cats and their loyal slaves shall take over the world! MEOWAHAHAHAHA!
Load More Replies...There is no manual for raising kids. Like adults, kids are all different. You have to adjust your parenting for each child.
I commented this on one of the comments earlier, but never have any expectations from the get go, except that your child will hopefully be healthy. This will make you be able to roll with the punches better. If you have a line of expectations in your head, especially the stricter ones like not having any electronics in the house, you're setting yourself up for a horrible time. Just as your child will be learning how to live and enjoy life, you'll be learning how to be a parent. Just takes a step at a time (or sometimes a 30 yard dash, but that's besides the point).
"Because I said so". If that's your best argument then you've failed. My step-daughter will have a generally intelligent conversation about why or why not and she'll keep grinding away until I fall back on that. I did (she's now an adult and gets adult consideration) encourage discussion but dang...
Honestly, I'm thinking of just going back to our ancestral genes and bringing them everywhere with me. Sleeping with them, eating with them, and overall doing everything with them until they eventually start to wander. At that stage, I'll let them join me in what I'm doing, but they will want to play with other kids. I think babies cry so much because they aren't supposed to be just left alone in the forest. Aka crib. They'd be eaten. So they cry as a self defense. I believe that taking them everywhere will fix this until they're old enough to explore on their own. But, who knows, I could be totally wrong.
And by take I mean carry. I will carry them weather it be by backpack or piggy back, or side hold. Body to body contact as it is in the wild.
Load More Replies...I think most important thing is that as a parent you don't try to be perfect and know from the start that you'll mess up. And that's okay. No parent is perfect. As long as you do your best to raise your child to be a decent person and raise them with love and respect, you're doing a great job. And doing your best is all you can do. There's no guarantee that your child will actually turn out decent. Some people break contact with their parents even if the parents really did raise their children with love. Or turn out horrible and selfish. As a parent you'll always find that you could have done certain things better. And fat chance your children will hold certain things against you. It's normal. I hold things against my parents. My children will hold things against me. My grandchildren will hold things against them. But, one may just hope love and forgiveness is enough.
Your kids will eat what everyone else eats as long as 1) you don't cave in and give them another option, and (2) you don't eat weird s**t that normal humans don't eat, like Natto and overly spicy stuff. I hear people complain about this s**t and then ask them what they make that their kids won't eat... and it's like... no s**t, I wouldn't eat that garbage either.
Children are people and are learning just like you!!! :) Thats what i love about the little boogers. Cant wait to be a parent someday.
The reality of having a child, if you don’t want to change anything in your life or love your freedoms, don’t have kids! It’s a choice to have them as well as everything that comes with. A lot of people have them for selfish reasons and then don’t do justice to the child, as it doesn’t turn out how they imagined.
When we found out we were having twins I thought "yay" this is going to be so easy. How hard could it be to care for one more tiny nugget? NOT! I was so wrong! I'm not sure how I survived the first 6 months but somehow I did. By the way, I already had kids and my twins were a complete surprise. They are 13 now.

