People Are Sharing 30 Stories About The Mistakes Their Parents Made That Ended Up Affecting Them Long-Term

Similar here. I'm a twin, and I was the "smart one", so I was expected to just be great with everything and help my sister with homework, etc. When she did well, it was celebrated with some money, and I always did well. Made it very hard for me to ask for help, but also made me very independent from an early age, thinking I have to look out for myself. And maybe it was to protect my sister from not feeling smart or good enough because of me. Oh well! :)

Same here. After becoming the school's prodigy in mathematics and chemistry without any particular effort and not a single visit from my mother to the class gatherings, family acknowledgment, or even a question about how was in school today or what will do for college, I just gave up and was barely able to complete high school. Still not resolved and I non-speaking therms with parents for years.

That’s sucks and wasn’t fair. I guess it was a compliment to you in a weird way but it was still wrong. My daughter was an all A student and her mom was as a school principal who thought it was obnoxious for A students to go just to hear good things about their kid. I went to every one from preschool on and when I got home from them my daughter wanted to know every word the teacher said about it because it made her feel good and motivated her to keep it up. Her last semester of high school she had already gotten accepted to her dream college and she said Dad you don’t have to go to my last parent teacher conference but I had a perfect record of going since she was 4 and I wasn’t going to break the streak. She teased me about it but I think she was happy I went anyway.

me too! but i dont think that im useless or that my above average is normal because the people around me stupid as hell. but it did make me more independant like what Havard Hovde said! i also have trouble asking for help.

Same here. But even with therapy I still find it hard sometimes to deal with all of this.

That so sad one below is sad too

Goodness that awful I'm sorry

Ah yes, the "every child gets a trophy" philosophy. How's that working out for ya?!

None of it is minor. I was one of four plus a baby. Shared rooms and sometimes beds when way younger. Got my own room starting senior year, but was never allowed to have the door closed. Never. Not even while changing/dressing or anything. It ain't easy being a kid when parents don't know how to parent.

Been there too.

Not being allowed to go to parties and staying out late are actually good

your nan is very wise. i like her! and she's right, if you hold on to them for too long they will become wild

I like your Nan's saying, very very apt! 😊

Your nan is a wise woman

Like me with this secret account LMAO

I was born in '96 and it was the same for me. I grew up from 2-6 (at my grandmothers) and 11-now (in a 3 bedroom flat my mom's old co-worker got her hooked up with) in a small town. Note: I did live on my own for awhile with my current partner after highschool but I am ✨mentally ill✨and his dad passed away and he owned the House we were living in. 7-10 was in the city 40mins away from where I am now, and where my mother commutes to work everyday. At my grandmothers when I was super small, I was allowed anywhere on the street. I couldn't leave the street but I could walk around with friends or on my own or whatever. In the city I walked to school on my own or with friends I made plans to do so with. At 11 I was back in the small town and was allowed free range of it. I spent a lot of time at the public library back then lmao.

Yeah l had to deal with the same thing. Every time we would go see our mom our dad would punish us and it was bad. So we used to have to sneak around to see her.

Judge Judy would say" you need to love your child MORE than you hate each other" in many ways you try to fake it til you make it. No winners here.

That behavior goes beyond childish; It's a very. selfish way to behave as it puts *you* in the middle of their Divorce/Marital Problems. I cannot imagine how it made you feel or the amount of Therapy you needed because of it.

The three hour life lessons are at least lessons. I hope you're taking some of it in.

I am a Gen-xer and I can confirm! My mom had kids waaaaaay to early, she started at 15 and had 3 kids by 23, all by different men. She wasn't done partying and wasn't going to let her kids ruin the fun. As long as we got good grades and kept the house clean she basically let us do what we wanted. She was only present when we did something wrong and had to punish us. I literally have an aunt that would give us NyQuil when she was sick us to put us to sleep when she was watching us while my mom was out partying. My family was horrible!

My mother's mother lived through the Hunger Winter in Holland during WWII-- and very nearly starved to death (she got to the swelling up stage of starvation, the final stage). So she made my mother eat everything on her plate. I have to keep reminding my mother that it's okay to not finish everything on her plate if she's full. She's got some rather bad acid reflux issues now. Fortunately, my mother never did this to me as she recognized it as unhealthy. Reminder that kids' stomachs are about the size of an adult's fist. They're small. Don't make your kids overeat.

We taught our kids early on to serve themselves and to take small servings. If they are still hungry, they can go back for seconds. We don't want waste, but we also didn't want them overeating. I think that's a better approach than serving children and then demanding they eat it all.

same. developed an eating disorder and now i have no appetite.

My mom's friend has a son that is very tiny. His mom (my moms friend) thinks that if he eats more, he will grow more. Now he just hates eating anything thats not snacks and he has a round belly but is still kinda skinny in the limbs and small.

Me toooooo. I've never made my kids finish their plates because I know what it did to me. It's so very hard for me to leave food on my plate. It tears at my soul sometimes. So strange that something so little can cause damage. I was made to sit at the table, in the dark, for hours, until I finished.

#2 probably contributes to childhood obesity

You should put only the right amount on your plate, even if you help yourself a few times after that. I think generally its correct to understand that you have to eat everything you put on your plate , but you shouldnt put much at each time.

My family's mantra was "take all you want, but eat all you take." It encouraged us to put less on our plates and to stop when we'd had enough.

Same, we have taught our kid to stop eating when they've had enough or if they don't like the food. We were forced to finish meals we didn't like, once eating frozen fish fingers (not cooked enough) cause we had to clear our plates. We all had food poisoning after that. Mum would often give us horrible food to eat, just to see our reactions too and stand in front of the bin so that we couldn't spit it out. She's now realised that this was borderline abuse.

While I don’t think lying is a good thing there are some instances where it is required for example if you are trapped in an abusive relationship and need to lie to your abuser to stay safe while seeking help.