Acting like a "lady", smiling at strangers while walking down the street, looking like you just stepped out of a magazine cover — these are just a few things society assumes women want to do every day. Of course, it would be wrong to say that expectations for women haven’t changed in recent years. They certainly have, and for the better. But there’s still plenty of room for improvement.
Rubbergloves44 asked women of Reddit to share some of the outdated things they are expected to live up to, and they delivered. More than a thousand comments flooded the thread with subtle and not-so-subtle ways people set ridiculous presumptions about female behavior.
Whether it’s believing all women want children or need to be devoted to their lousy husbands, Bored Panda has selected some of the best answers from the thread. Upvote our favorites as you go, and let us know in the comments the outdated beliefs you personally think need to change right away.
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Policing the way women dress instead of policing the way men react to it
Automatically assuming all women enjoy, want and will have children.
Being docile and passive. We’re expected to take so much c**p on a daily basis without complaining. Sexual harassment? it’s just a compliment. Sexual assault? you had it coming. do you really want to ruin his life? Periods or any type of pain/illness? it’s not that bad. The amount of mental labor we’re expected to do is exhausting, but we have to do it or nothing would get done. And then men get offended and call us names when we assert ourselves or express any emotion other than happiness. Our boundaries are constantly trampled and we’re supposed to just take it with a smile. It’s so frustrating!
Taking care of a husband like he is an overgrown toddler incapable of doing anything for himself
A woman must be lady like
You know how I feel about that one? (Farts loudly) that’s how I feel
Having to defy the normal process of ageing and that ageing somehow diminishes our worth.
Ugh. This. Yes, I'm looking more like my grandma. So what? She had a boyfriend in her late 80s. :-)
A man can walk away from a pregnancy or a family and go on with life without a bat of an eye from society but heaven forbid a woman ever walk away from her kids
That all women want a man/relationship.
I'm happily single for years and don't want to be in a relationship. I don't get why people assume that single women aren't as happy as the ones in a relationship, when it was proven that single women are the happiest population out there.
Preach! I love being single. I was never the little girl who grew up fantasizing about my future wedding to my Prince Charming. I can't think of anything I'd rather do less. People always assume my life is unfulfilling and lonely but it's the complete opposite! I have 100% freedom to do whatever I want to do and I love it!
That doctors STILL do not provide adequate health care for us. And the fact that we still don't have autonomy of our bodies (in the US)
in the us or anywhere else ; trans surgery = rejected you don't dispose of YOUR body ; breast removal surgery (for example to prevent cancer(or any other reason (confort etc...)) = rejected you don't dispose of YOUR body ; trying to get a tattoo = are you sure, you'll regret it ; plastic surgery = you don't need it ; uterus removal (like to stop periods and period pain) = rejected you don't dispose of YOUR body --- [for now (and certainly for ever ): I 'am' a woman so I'm not sure if it's a woman only thing or doctors and surgeons just don't listen to anyone]
That we shouldn’t show anger. Men always talk about how hard it is that when they cry, they’re called a pussy or something like that. I agree that that is a valid issue and I wish it weren’t that way, but I also wish that women could express anger without getting called a b***h or being called irrational. We get asked if we’re menstruating, we get told we’re overreacting. Just once I’d like to feel free to be angry.
Exactly! Like am I only supposed to have emotions while I'm hormonal??
Being ok with getting paid less than men for the same job
Dressing for men. I see many people tell women that they should not dye or cut their hair, not get tattoos, or wear certain fashion because it is unappealing to men. However, a lot of women nowadays (like me) dress for themselves and not for male pleasure.
That vaginas should be smooth always
For the love of God, need we remind people that vaginas are an INTERNAL organ ... the outer area consists of inner and outer labia, and vulva.
That women should do all the cooking and cleaning.
My kid's teacher once asked what the kids thought about cleaning: was it the woman's responsibility or is it something that both should take care of? Only kid in class who thought it was a shared responsibility, was mine. I think we have a long way to go.
Ugh, I live in the Southern US & the whole “wife must fix husbands dinner plate before hers or the children’s” is strong here. I get in debates all the time about this—it agitates me to no end. I don’t know why. It just comes off very misogynistic.
The reasoning I’ve heard from people I know is that “if your husband works hard then he should not have to fix his own food when he comes home” as if women don’t also work hard & almost always have to pull the second shift if kids are involved. I don’t understand why it’s such a debate. If it matters who eats first, then it should be the kids. If there’s no kids, then who cares? Both spouses can make their own plate or one (either one) can make both plates. I’m not a housewife or a waitress for my husband. We are equals, we both work & gender roles are outdated as hell.
The concept of virginity.
Always confused me as a kid--who were all these studs having sex with if the women were all virgins?
That they need to wear makeup to look presentable — think a professional setting, a lot of people have the notion that it is lazy for a woman to not have ANY makeup on.
Now I wear makeup sometimes and sometimes I don’t, I just think it’s an outdated expecting that half of the population has never had.
This is just because people (read men) who write these rules have no idea what makeup is. You can have your whole face covered in ´naked´ style and they will say ´ You see how good you look without all those colors on!´
"Hey you look tired, everything ok?" *no make-up* Grr!!
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I'm old enough (ouch) to have been raised with this. And I don't wear the crap. If Hubby doesn't like me as I am, then he can leave. I'm not dealing with that expense and hassle when 1. I can't wear it for medical work anyway! and 2. I'm gonna be working from home.
Shouldn't you put on make up for your hubby? wear a nice dress? At night sneak in a few curlers in your hair, have breakfast ready and be all dolled up before he's up? Come on Leo, be a good wifey. (for those who don't know me: I was just kidding).
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23 for me and I wish I stopped sooner. I'd save so much nerves and money on this!
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My wife generally doesn't wear any make-up. If it's a special occasion (wedding, etc) she'll put some mascara on and maybe some eyeliner.
When I was 14 I was trying make-up on (for my boyfriend, of course), and getting frustrated with it. It pissed me off that boys/men didn't have to do that s**t, so I decided then and there to skip the whole make-up b.s. forever.
I grew up being forced to wear makeup - TONS of it - from a young age (single digits). Mom was trying to vicariously live her dreams through us kids, and I was “the actress” who was going to make the family tons of money. So I used to have to sit through hours of makeup application for headshots, auditions, and the like. I loathe makeup now and I rarely wear it. My mom gives me tons of flak for this. She tells me to wear lipstick UNDER MY MASK that I’ll have on for my full 8-hour shift at work. NO CAN CAN SEE IT
I love makeup, my collection is bigger than I care to admit, but I do it for me, not you. And it also depends on the mood I'm in when I wake up in the morning.
I'm a nail polish freak, colours for every outfit. Just gives me a boost
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I love when women wake up in the morning in movies or T.V. shows with a full face of makeup. I guess Hollywood and the networks just aren't ready for reality yet.
Actually i‘ve encountered it the other way around. I‘ve witnessed countless men (at work, college etc.) criticize women for wearing too much makeup or being too fake 😳. While at the same time half of them couldn‘t tell if a woman wore light makeup or no makeup at all. Yes, it‘s true that too heavy makeup and certain colors are unsuitable for certain job situations. But other than that just let people style themselves the way they want to.
When I was in the pulpit every week, I made it a point to sometimes wear makeup and sometimes not bc I wanted the kids to know both were acceptable and okay. Except lipstick - I do have to wear that when preaching bc the older people with hearing loss understand better when I wear it.
Who cares what men think. That's the point isn't it. Everything we do does not revolve around men. If you like make up then wear it. If you dont then dont. If a man tries to tell you that you should or should not wear make up tell him to f**k off.
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So,....our faces aren’t acceptable without painting over them.......bollocks!
Some women have lovely coloring and look very beautiful naturally. Others do not and need help to bring out their 'natural' beauty. Heavy makeup ruins a naturally pretty face.
Yes. I am a blonde with very light colored eyebrows and lashes, and in my opinion my face looks prettier when I make them a bit darker. But I never do full face heavy make-up, I don't like it and I don't have the skills either.
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Well, we're growing out of that expectation (thankfully), perhaps in much the same way as men are growing past the expectation that they shave every day?
I never ever wear make up. I don't know why I should. It is ok for other people if they like to wear it. But I do not want it.
I have never worn makeup just maybe a touch of lipstick. I'm old have very few wrinkles! Don't men want to see the real you?
My current job, 2 year anniversary this August, has been entirely remote. I've never met my boss except for Zoom. I've never even been in to the office. But, for my interview I wore only mascara, blush and a lip gloss. That way, when we do go back into the office (next month), I won't feel the pressure of putting on a full face. Smartest thing I ever did.
i own makeup but it's mostly eyeshadow, and i don't wear it much anymore. when i do, it's purely for me.
I had a sit-down with my female, heavily made-up manager once who told me it was required I begin to wear makeup as I was the receptionist. She was not the manager who hired me. That rule didn't last long as I never bothered to do it.
I have always viewed make up as a waste of money and as something unnecessary. If you only think I look nice with make up, then you're not worth my time.
I used to wear makeup when I was younger because Iiked how it made me look. I wear very little, now, and only if I am going out. Just too lazy to go the full nine yards. Nothing else.
Stopped wearing makeup in my mid 20's except for special events. I'm 52 now and if I do put on makeup I feel self conscience because I feel like I forgot how to put it on and I think I have too much on.
I've always appreciated and often praised my wife for not wearing makeup. I've seen her wear makeup only a few times since we met 11 years ago.
I have dust allergy, even a week old eyeliner makes my eyes itch. I would gave to spend hundreds on some crazy hypoalergen makeup. I Just dont wear anything. When I do, its Just for a short period if time And people are always amazed on how big And pretty my eyes are
Do we all know that one girl/woman who never lets her man see her without full makeup? Getting up before him so she can put her 'face' on - bugger that
I have a lot of issues with make-up. Some of them are psychological - some of them are due to sensitive oily skin, allergies, and it takes me forever to do it because if I do it its gotta be worth it. I know how to apply make-up. I do the make-up for different film projects my friends and I do. But unless its for a character I'm playing, I don't wear it. When I do break down and wear it for a special occasion so many people get so floored and tell me how I should wear it all the time. No. I don't like make-up. You like make-up more power too you, but personally I have too many issues with it.
I have never been a fan of makeup. It is just another way of being dishonest. (and I have rarely seen anyone actually look better with it on.)
I can not agree with this. From my experience is the contrary, men do not expect from a women to wear make-up, mostly women are more judgemental and those expecting from other women to wear make-up. Or maybe I am just lucky to have met normal and decent men in my life.
I've had a couple women make snide comments about my lack of makeup, but no men. Or maybe the men just won't say anything. But like you, I've had plenty of men in my life who don't seem to care if I wear makeup or not.
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Vulgar language is not feminine.
Stopped counting how many times I was told that but I always told them to f**k themselves
That women can’t do anything. Fixing things, manual labor, etc. I hate when my girlfriends say “I’m waiting on him to do this or that and it’s frustrating.” How about you get off your a*s and figure it out like he did. Lol
Being event coordinator, sender of household thank you notes, purchasing holiday gifts
My mom bought all the gifts for my dad's side of the family for 15 years. And when she told my dad, it's your turn now, all the gifts stopped.
Being devoted to shi**y husbands
I have known a couple of women that were with guys just because "it would upset them to break up".. Girl he gives you a blackeye and you don't want to upset him, buy a clue. Leave, leave now, if it upsets him, who cares. The guy is obviously a d**k and deserves to be upset and alone.
That women automatically make better caregivers (children or the elderly).
Honestly, most of the time they are. But that doesn't mean that, as a man, you shouldn't at least try.
Having to smile and accommodate other people’s awkward and rude behavior. The- “I’m sorry I can’t help but to say or notice” and what they is creepy, unwarranted, intrusive, interrupting, offensive etc. Get out of my space! I don’t care that my voice is unusually high pitched or that whatever you noticed or have to say about me.
Or the the whole thing of of, you would be so much prettier if you did ______. Or two i get a lot, you smell good, and your eyes are so pretty......yeah I know because I shower and use a lotion and body spray combo that I love and I see my eyes every day, if you are getting that close you need to back out of my space or you might be met with a flying hand.
Sex isn’t a right when you’re in a relationship. You have to maintain other parts of the relationship to keep that flame alive. “You must be cheating” isn’t going to make the situation any better.
I hated it when [my now ex wife] would use that line. As if I was just a sex doll to her, a piece of meat without any person behind the flesh. (now I am well enough to say that I was the victim of an abusive partner)
That woman have to take birth control (hormonal) in a long term relationship
Giving birth. It is the second most terrifying and painful thing a person can go through, the first is burning alive. The industry is great at hiding the many difficulties of pregnancy just to further the human race. You can permanently lose grey matter in your brain, weaken your bladder, develop allergies?? during and after pregnancy. Don't even get me started on the labour itself- i have no idea why any informed woman would want that. just google 4th degree tears and you'll be put off for life
I HAVE been burnt alive , and I would give birth if I could, I most likely can't (related to the burn thing) but if women are not ready to go through giving life to have a baby they can adopt; I understand women are also ready to go through this it's their choice how about the maximum informations about it and then they make their choice?
It's mind blowing how many guys expect you to be a free therapist to them. Like, uh, I didn't sign up for this.
Off topic but related. Being the therapist friend to anyone isn’t fun. Try not to get yourself in that position. I was that friend all through middle school but when I looked for help myself, none came. I’ve rid myself of being that friend in high school but now I don tell anyone when I need help because I got so used to never getting any.
Note: this post originally had 80 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I cut my hair from a longish Bob to a buzz cut. Everyone asked how my husband would feel about it, what if he preferred long hair. If he prefers long hair, he can grow his own!
When I cut my hair short I remember a family member said "You know, men prefer long hair," and I said, "Well men should grown their hair long then." That shut them up.
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the future will look upon is and our time and think we were barbaric middle ages. what's the justification for paying women less than men again ?
The level of order determines the the amount of equality between the majority/stronger/oppressor group and the minority/weaker/oppressed group in a society/community. This may apply to almost all facets, like race, caste, sex, culture, ethnicity, etc. We've come a long way from when women were treated as objects, to chattels, to humans, although not absolutely. It's a given that the far future would be a much better place for everyone, including women. For our descendants, we would just be inferior, savage old farts.
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Being called a Karen if you stand up for yourself or express any discontent. Send your undercooked chicken back in a restaurant? You’re a Karen. Want a company to honor their warranty? Karen. Expect a clerk to wait on you instead of the man who arrived after you? Karen. And on and on.
That's... not what "Karen" means - it's how you go about things. And the fact that you're that clueless means... you might want to take a look at how you complain.
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I'd like to publicly thank my mom, who managed to uninstall a lot of this in me before I even hit puberty, despite it being prevailing thinking of the time, and it being how she was raised.
this is one my sister got a lot... shaving. women are expected to shave their legs armpits and other parts that they should only shave if they want to
I never understood this one. How has "hair" become ugly? Some covergirl stereotypes make sense to me, but not this one.
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I got one too. I enjoy going to events (theatre for example) by myself (I am a woman) and for many men so far it has been like an invitation to come to me and (and I quote): "to keeping me company because I'm there alone". I never noticed it would happen to my male friend. I don't go there to meet men but simply to enjoy time there by myself.
I was taught to be submissive to men growing up, and to always look pleasing to men. F**k that. I'm still recovering from my misogynistic upbringing.
If yall liked this yall should probably read the book "Cinderella is dead"
Almost all of these issues relate to how the woman is perceived by the man for doing/not doing a thing. Fact is, the second women stop wanting the approval and desire of men, they will stop caring about doing or not doing most of the things on this list. We have the power. We have the choice.
Except when it comes to employment. The majority of higher management positions, boards of directors, etc. are held by men. Every time diversity is brought up, I get tepid agreement and then treated to a monologue about the need to hire quality candidates, as if hiring mostly white men meant that the company was hiring quality candidates.
Load More Replies... Also, that all women want to and should get married. And that all women should only be wives and mothers.
The entirety of mankind/humankind is in for such a huge shock in the near future.
Men and women should not CONTROL each other. If this is happening in your life - either male or female get the hell out of that relationship. There is a difference between give and take, some people can't or don't want to realize the difference! Control is just the start of future abuse. Get out while the gettin's good!
Yeah, experienced lot of that. Sorry, not there for this. And I will let you know. 35 without childern and my hubby has hands. So stop your nonsence. And I have hairy legs :D
I sing in bars and clubs. When a man is interested in me, he thinks I'll quit this job. When I sing a love song, every man thinks I'm going home with him. Every man thinks I am just singing until I find a man to support me. That my singin/writing songs/recording albums and jingles is just something fun I do until I find "a real job."
So where's the thread about men? Expected to pay for women, protect them, be the breadwinner, not allowed to show emotion, supposed to drink beer, watch sports, be handy, it's always the man's fault a divorce happened, supposedly men always cheat, men are always child predators, the list goes on and on. Women think they have it bad but believe me, there's s**t on both sides
I'm going to agree with you here (albeit not on every point). BP has had entire articles on toxic masculinity and there's lots to suggest that outdated stereotypes also harm men. Let's be clear - they don't harm men as much as women but suggesting there is a problem shouldn't be controversial!
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Actually, it's the product of sexism and misogyny, but thanks for playing!
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These are not complaints, they are issues. Real life issues. How would you feel if everything on this list happened to you?
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I cut my hair from a longish Bob to a buzz cut. Everyone asked how my husband would feel about it, what if he preferred long hair. If he prefers long hair, he can grow his own!
When I cut my hair short I remember a family member said "You know, men prefer long hair," and I said, "Well men should grown their hair long then." That shut them up.
Load More Replies... the future will look upon is and our time and think we were barbaric middle ages. what's the justification for paying women less than men again ?
The level of order determines the the amount of equality between the majority/stronger/oppressor group and the minority/weaker/oppressed group in a society/community. This may apply to almost all facets, like race, caste, sex, culture, ethnicity, etc. We've come a long way from when women were treated as objects, to chattels, to humans, although not absolutely. It's a given that the far future would be a much better place for everyone, including women. For our descendants, we would just be inferior, savage old farts.
Load More Replies... Being called a Karen if you stand up for yourself or express any discontent. Send your undercooked chicken back in a restaurant? You’re a Karen. Want a company to honor their warranty? Karen. Expect a clerk to wait on you instead of the man who arrived after you? Karen. And on and on.
That's... not what "Karen" means - it's how you go about things. And the fact that you're that clueless means... you might want to take a look at how you complain.
Load More Replies... I'd like to publicly thank my mom, who managed to uninstall a lot of this in me before I even hit puberty, despite it being prevailing thinking of the time, and it being how she was raised.
this is one my sister got a lot... shaving. women are expected to shave their legs armpits and other parts that they should only shave if they want to
I never understood this one. How has "hair" become ugly? Some covergirl stereotypes make sense to me, but not this one.
Load More Replies... I got one too. I enjoy going to events (theatre for example) by myself (I am a woman) and for many men so far it has been like an invitation to come to me and (and I quote): "to keeping me company because I'm there alone". I never noticed it would happen to my male friend. I don't go there to meet men but simply to enjoy time there by myself.
I was taught to be submissive to men growing up, and to always look pleasing to men. F**k that. I'm still recovering from my misogynistic upbringing.
If yall liked this yall should probably read the book "Cinderella is dead"
Almost all of these issues relate to how the woman is perceived by the man for doing/not doing a thing. Fact is, the second women stop wanting the approval and desire of men, they will stop caring about doing or not doing most of the things on this list. We have the power. We have the choice.
Except when it comes to employment. The majority of higher management positions, boards of directors, etc. are held by men. Every time diversity is brought up, I get tepid agreement and then treated to a monologue about the need to hire quality candidates, as if hiring mostly white men meant that the company was hiring quality candidates.
Load More Replies... Also, that all women want to and should get married. And that all women should only be wives and mothers.
The entirety of mankind/humankind is in for such a huge shock in the near future.
Men and women should not CONTROL each other. If this is happening in your life - either male or female get the hell out of that relationship. There is a difference between give and take, some people can't or don't want to realize the difference! Control is just the start of future abuse. Get out while the gettin's good!
Yeah, experienced lot of that. Sorry, not there for this. And I will let you know. 35 without childern and my hubby has hands. So stop your nonsence. And I have hairy legs :D
I sing in bars and clubs. When a man is interested in me, he thinks I'll quit this job. When I sing a love song, every man thinks I'm going home with him. Every man thinks I am just singing until I find a man to support me. That my singin/writing songs/recording albums and jingles is just something fun I do until I find "a real job."
So where's the thread about men? Expected to pay for women, protect them, be the breadwinner, not allowed to show emotion, supposed to drink beer, watch sports, be handy, it's always the man's fault a divorce happened, supposedly men always cheat, men are always child predators, the list goes on and on. Women think they have it bad but believe me, there's s**t on both sides
I'm going to agree with you here (albeit not on every point). BP has had entire articles on toxic masculinity and there's lots to suggest that outdated stereotypes also harm men. Let's be clear - they don't harm men as much as women but suggesting there is a problem shouldn't be controversial!
Load More Replies... Actually, it's the product of sexism and misogyny, but thanks for playing!
Load More Replies... These are not complaints, they are issues. Real life issues. How would you feel if everything on this list happened to you?
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