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Tomorrow is Monday perhaps isn't the only short scary story you've heard. Other one line horror stories include: your debit card has been declined, the McDonald's ice cream machine is broken, or your memory card is full. And although that's some horrifying stuff, there're plenty of two sentence horror stories and short scary stories lurking online that might actually give you nightmares at night.

With the spooky season soon approaching, there's a lot of planning beforehand: look for Halloween costume ideas, purchase and hang up some Halloween decorations, research some Halloween-themed snacks, and compile a list of ghost movies to watch. However, the to-do list wouldn't be complete without some freaky ghost stories and scary campfire tales just to add to that extra spookiness.

However, while we certainly urge you to read horror books, there are alternative ways to get in that spooky spirit ahead of All Hallows Eve. The terrifying thing with horror is that sometimes it takes just a few words (such as the gas prices) to give someone the heebie-jeebies and scary horror one-liners do just that.

Below, we've compiled a list of the most haunting short horror stories (think one or two sentences long) that will take seconds to read but may take hours (or more) to forget. Do you know of any scary short stories? Let us know! And if you are interested to read about real-life horror encounters, check out these creepy stories shared by fellow Pandas. Happy Boo-ing!

#1

It actually really bothers me when people call black girls ‘chocolate’, and white girls ‘vanilla’ because neither taste any different than pork.

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Genevieve
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have to add the flavor packet. You find it in their left kidney.

blobby
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fun fact: a cannibal once stated that human flesh tasted like pork,

Yoanna Ivanova
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

nah, their flavor is a bit tangier.

Saltypepper
Community Member
Premium
4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just wrong

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    #2

    One line horror story I've been living with the love of my life for 5 years now, I think it's more than enough time to finally introduce myself.

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    An Unpopular Opinion.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holy cow- yep, I will be stealing some of these (by stealing, I mean making my statuses and such)

    Emke Cant
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    same here how did you do it i'm really nervous

    Kalliope
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    staaaawp your going to get me kicked out

    Soft Rug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    guys i think its a stalker ._.

    Charlotte Cox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    theis stories are perfect for a murder mistory eskpe rooms

    AstralTheElf They/She/Them/Her
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i have one. They looked everywhere but never found anything. Thank goodness they didnt find the corpse of their child with me eating his tender flesh.

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    #3

    The existence of the uncanny valley suggests that in the past, our survival instincts had a reason to be afraid of something that looked human, but wasn't.

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    Wackford Squeers
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Corpses. They spread disease. Next!

    Zedrapazia
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Other subspecies of human such as neanderthals maybe too.

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    AndThenICommented
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s the unpredictability. Unfortunately, I’ve had my fair share of experience with addicts and that can be a very similar feeling - looking at someone that is ‘human’ but not quite right. It can be quite scary for someone who isn’t professionally trained to recognise certain behaviour

    Ruby
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get that it's corpses but inhuman human things is 100% my biggest fear. Chiils

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anything that does not appear safe or raises our stress level (hair) threatens our survival.

    CozyBear
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uhh…I don’t think so. It’s just our fear instinct kicking in because it looks creepy and strange.

    e me e
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    skin walkers......................

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    #4

    I just saw my reflection blink.

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    Marvelor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh hell nah ! this is my worst nightmare

    Victoria Silvas
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly I saw my parents photos blink.

    The Funny Fox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ONE sentence. ONE. And it's still crazy. Wow.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Interesting, very interesting. Now catch your refection smiling.

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    #5

    They say cats have 9 lives, but I swear I’ve buried him at least 11 times.

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    Ruby
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok this is kinda funny tho

    StitchIsCuteAndFluffy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandma’s cat seriously does have 9 lives. (Well, maybe not LITERALLY). But she has “died” before several times. She got run over by a truck wheel. They put her in a bucket and when they opened it up later she was meowing and waiting to be let out. She disappeared for a couple weeks and my grandma thought she was dead. Turned out she was trapped inside the schoolhouse (my grandma owns a schoolhouse that she used to go to school in, but that’s mostly beside the point). When Grandma opened the door to the schoolhouse, the cat comes running out. She somehow survived on mice or bugs or something? The cat wasn’t originally my grandma’s, so she had to email the original owner that the cat died at least twice and then email again when she found out that never mind, the cat was alive.

    Bill Swallow
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How many lives does a Gallifreyan cat have?

    Mykidsartrocks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You putting him in the pet semetary?

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    #6

    I’m watching my girlfriend through the window. I wonder how much longer I need to keep the oven on.

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    Ava Meyers
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There GIRLFRIEND is in the OVEN

    StitchIsCuteAndFluffy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At first I didn’t get it. Do they mean that the girlfriend is being cooked inside the oven?

    Jiani Li
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    is the gf in the oven or outside?

    Kalliope
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hmmmmm 10 or 20 minutes you think

    Getsemani Sullender
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #7

    To the girl who keeps pounding on my door at night. I’m not letting you out.

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    Ava Meyers
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please let her out before she DIES

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    #8

    One line horror story Quarantined... Without toilet paper.

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    Pheounixus
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Mykidsartrocks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All those unmatched socks finally have a use.

    e me e
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it means you can let it crust :sob:

    SketchJet
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bro that means I can let it crust

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    #9

    One line horror story They celebrated the first successful cryogenic freezing. He had no way of letting them know he was still conscious.

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    Ruby
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Creepy and really sad actually

    Lycia Harding
    Community Member
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No worries - he can tell them all about it in 10,000 years

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    Max M
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Demolitioman. And yeah i think that would drive anyone mad

    Anonymous Person
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it was supposed to be one line they had one job the macadema nut cookie is coming for them

    Jan Iddon
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hands up who thinks it's true . Lol

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    #10

    I don’t mind that my housemate brings guys home. But just once, I’d like to see one of them leave.

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    𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖘𝖆𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖗
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean...Has he ever let u leave? Making you think your his roomate from manipulation but your really just someone he kidnapped?

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you wanted him all for y9ourself. How convenient.

    #11

    To cure my sister's insomnia, I helped her sleep forever.

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    #12

    They found her dead body hanging from the ceiling. AGAIN.

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    Anne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought you wanted her up

    #13

    One line horror story She figured the quickest way to help him get over his fear of the water was to hold him under the surface until he stopped panicking.

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    Ava Meyers
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    George its just water relax :)

    Leighton Leeper
    Community Member
    11 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    holy s**t quibli (or sunny) profile yaa

    Jan Iddon
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I would have thought that usually works.

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    #14

    My father wasn’t too terrible, but I certainly preferred my mother. Though, in hindsight, I may have simply overcooked him.

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    RandomHumanBean
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    same, its really irritating, isnt it. fathers just have a faster cooking time but i always forget that

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    IEat ChildLivers
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    bro same with my kids, Susan was way more delicious than Nathan, then again he had liver disease so y'know.

    Ava Meyers
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so hard to to cook old people >:(

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    happens way to often...its a nuisance isnt it?

    Binnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ugh i hate when that happens :( may i suggest adding garlic?

    Liv
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    1st world problems

    bacon
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The mannequins must be so heavy...

    Anonymous Person
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh thats normal, just dont insult the next ones to much (;

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    #15

    A few hours after I was buried alive, I was thrilled when I heard someone digging me out. My joy quickly faded when I realized the sound was coming from under me.

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    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    its just a really really big vole! ...right?

    Dmitri Johnson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

    Yoanna Ivanova
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    nah when you're a zombie you lose your sense of orientation

    Ysabel Richards
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t understand this one. Explanation??

    Gaurangi Awasthi
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They were Buried... Alive.. they heard digging from under the coffin... Probably demons

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    Daelyn Sanders
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks for digging me out and if you're not at least I won't be alive underground I'll finally be dead and hey they won't even have to re-bearing me

    Isaac Nemo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't look a gift horse in the mouth lol

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    #16

    They delivered the mannequins in bubble wrap. From the main room I begin to hear popping.

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    Binnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    nope nope nope nope nope nope nope

    Ava Meyers
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Terry and Jerry so unless you have twix white chocolate you should run

    Jiani Li
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    creepy delivery person who relatably likes bubble wrap

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, you will hear the popping as the mannequins begin looking for you.

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    #17

    Nurse’s Note: Born 7 pounds 10 ounces, 18 inches long, 32 fully formed teeth. Silent, always smiling.

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    Bored Trash Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd ask if it Is to late for an abortion....

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    #18

    My wife keeps trying to convince me that our daughter passed away 2 years ago. As we argue, a small voice asks me, “Who are you talking to, daddy?”

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    4th Account
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your mother, now go back to being dead please

    R.M Cooper
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I honestly laughed at that... is that a bad thing?

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    Soft Rug
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "as i sat on the toilet i reach for toilet paper there was none...

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    #19

    I always thought my cat had a staring problem, she always seemed fixated on my face. Until one day, when I realized that she was always looking just behind me.

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    Megan ️ ️
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh she was confused by your shadow

    Anne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She was looking at the mirror behind you

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perhaps trade places with Kitty and see what she sees. Perhaps.

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    #20

    There was a picture in my phone of me sleeping. I swear I live alone.

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    bacon
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Overly helpful neighbour closed the door after you walked in, left it open, and drunkely fell asleep on the floor?

    Anonymous Person
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the man called terry the milkman who lives in youre closet took it. terry is just not social

    Addison Solis-Narvaiz
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    its just Jerry, he thought you looked too good not to take one silly

    María Hermida
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I heard the story of a girl who was hiking along the Appalachian Trail alone and after a couple of days she started to have the weird feeling she was not alone, but she couldn't see anything and she thought it was just her imagination. Until one morning, when she discovered several photos in her mobile of herself sleeping. It was a programme about certain areas in the US where many people have disappeared, and they also interviewed people who had had really frightening experiences there.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not anymore, you have night guests.

    Megan ️ ️
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or maybe the fly o the lamp shade took it

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    #21

    One line horror story My sister died yesterday. Now I wish the doctor separated us at birth.

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    roepi
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is reality for siamese twins. Chang died 2 hours before Eng did, for instance.

    A. Starhawk Hunt
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    now if you really want to be creeped out, there was a pair of conjoined twins in the middle ages/renaissance. I don't remember their names. The live twin carried his brother's body for something like 4 days before he joined him in death.

    Sophia L.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I am wondering. What happens in this case?

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    #22

    Why are the speed bumps screaming?

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    Ruby
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My driving instructor always told us no screaming speed bumps and one kid asked well what is they don't scream.

    Madelyn Y
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s why you never drive and drink, kids!

    Violet Orchid
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    drink and drive. not drive and drink NEVER drive and drink

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    Lillian Puder
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    man.. my dad was just trying to get the milk

    #23

    One line horror story “Oops”, said the surgeon.

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    𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖘𝖆𝖓𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖟𝖊𝖗
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    let me just get my ring out of your chest cavity real quick before i try to stop the bleeding from your lung that i punctured.

    Urlocal_phyco
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH UNDERRATED COMMENT

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    Beth Keene
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    During my ex-husband's vasectomy, the Dr. said "oops" and my ex-husband looked to make sure he still had his "parts."

    Lorraine R
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Oops" is better than "Uh-oh."

    Nancy Beck
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    or, in real life-- oops, said the dentist.

    Lycia Harding
    Community Member
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Nurse - schedule a single mastectomy for first thing in the morning..."

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    #24

    "In the oven," said the note found inside the empty crib.

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    Lillian Puder
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wow, he started dinner AND took the baby on a walk?!?!

    Liz Thomas
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I said that to a beat and now I’m jamming out. “ My CaSSeRoLe”

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    Lillian Puder
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i forgot to let him out hes burnt now, cant eat them...

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    #25

    The band was so loud that I couldn't even hear the guy next to me scream as the knife went in.

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    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    how f****n dare they! ask them to turn it down! how inconsiderate *shakes head in disappointed*

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn good concert. The Singing Dead really know how to rock an audience.

    Laura Farrell
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    all the people in the comments thinking they're comedians lol

    Anonymous Person
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    to be fair some peoples are more funny than you have ever been

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    #26

    The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door.

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    Lori Harper
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Excuse me...I'd like to talk to you about your car's extended warranty"

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.."

    Hailey Himalaylee
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Excuse me kind sir but do you have the time to talk about Our good lord and savior Jesus christ?"

    bacon
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MAYBE, it was the last woman on earth

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    #27

    When death came, I begged her not to take me as my newborn son needed me. Death laughed dryly, “But dear mother, I’m not here for you”.

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    roepi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If death touches that baby he'll meet super death.

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Death: Dear mother, I'm not here for you. Or him for the matter... I'm going on vacation to Hawaii and need my passport. I'd bring you but... *points to newborn son* Too bad... *Sticks tongue out teasingly*

    Jellicle bat
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dear mother, im here to PARTY woooohooo

    Emily Byrne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    POV: the baby wasnt created yet-

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    #28

    My dad is a mad scientist and does his experiments in the basement. He doesn’t let me out because he says that mom will be horrified of me.

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    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uh dad, I'm 20 now!!! I'm allowed to meet people and have a social life, you know!!! Don't matter if I have an extra limb or my ribs are popping out of my skin, I am 20 and can mingle!!!

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    DAAAAAD i need new shoes! my feet are hooves now!

    radioactivecandy (they/them)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "haha, very funny dad. i have the pretzels." "oh cool come on up then"

    StitchIsCuteAndFluffy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bet Jumba wouldn’t have let ME out, but the United Galactic Federation got ahold of me, and I escaped, and one thing led to another, and I ended up on Earth. But despite being a blue fluffy alien I managed to pass as a dog and befriend a girl, so I have hope for you too!

    Bo Jittins
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "My dad is a mad scientist and does his experiments in the basement. I wonder what the rest of the house looks like."

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    #29

    She always had restless leg syndrome, but the weird thing was that it didn’t stop even after she died.

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    Wackford Squeers
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "So come the day when I don't exist / If the worms are flying through the graveyard mist / Don't go bothering the exorcist / It's just my restless legs" - Restless Legs, Half Man Half Biscuit

    Sugar Cargill
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just put my ropinirole in the casket with me, please.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a great name for my new album. "Restless Legs a Sleeping".

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    #30

    If you get scared at night, don’t keep your eyes closed for too long because there’s a reason you’re scared, and now you can’t see it approach.

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    River wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, but what about the serial killer that the dog keeps barking at… (dog owners, you understand.)

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    FluffyPanda
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I try to keep my eyes closed because then they won’t want to kill me if I don’t dramatically scream when I see them lol

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cover up, maybe it'll go away or maybe it has come to cuddle on this cold and windy night.,

    Emily Byrne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no wonder why that minecraft message pops up

    Mykidsartrocks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My electric bill scare me every month. And I usually open the mail right after I put my p.js on and get comfy after a 12 hour shift.

    Violet1854
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well guess what? I have ✨ anxiety ✨ . Jokes on you, I am always scared

    So Ake
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If I felt something creepy was in the same room as me for some reason I just start acting creepy as if I could scare it away with my creepiness, not the other way around. I don’t why I do that

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    #31

    I’ve been looking for my sister all day long. But I don’t remember where I put all of the pieces.

    Report

    Some black giirrrrllll
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plot twist: they're solving a puzzle and it's their sister's picture.

    Hailey Himalaylee
    Community Member
    4 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yeah I mailed her to a mad scientist I forgot

    Binnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh i think i left the big toe in the freezer. Sorry!

    Victoria Silvas
    Community Member
    7 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mmmmmmmmmmmm I love some human soup!

    Jiani Li
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    um maybe you accidently cooked a piece and thought it was steak and ate it for dinner?

    Lillian Puder
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    check the basement of oven. that's where i hid mine!

    Anne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, here's an hand, you asked me to take the ring off

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    #32

    You hear your mom calling you from the kitchen, and as you are heading down the stairs, you hear a whisper saying "Don't go down there honey, I heard it too".

    Report

    Ashley Spurlock
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry dad idfc I wanna get some MAC N CHEEESSSSEE

    Chilli
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lesbiansssssssss

    bacon
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Easy: he is the son of a lesbian couple... That's not scary :D

    Lillian Charter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But which voice is real and which is spirit imitaion

    Keith Davis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was made into a short horror film.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which mom shall I believe, the kitchen mom or the whispering mom?

    Bored Trash Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my mom wouldn't be whispering with her loud a*s so I'd trust the one yelling lmao

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    #33

    You just won a staring contest against a doll.

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    radioactivecandy (they/them)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it was one of those creepy baby dolls, you just moved it down and it "blinked"

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, but it took over an hour.

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    #34

    It only dawned on me once he slid the lock bolt firmly shut that his badge didn't look very convincing at all.

    Report

    #35

    Don’t worry, you will learn to love me with time.

    Report

    4th Account
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Arranged marriages in a nutshell

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've told her this every time I fasten the bonds.

    #36

    One line horror story I had to quit my job as a surgeon because I had minor cravings I never knew about.

    Report

    Liz Thomas
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    PICKLES he craves pickles, so he had to quit his job as a surgeon to stay home and eat pickles

    Megan ️ ️
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think a job at the morgue would suit you better than a surgeon

    Jiani Li
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    never was a surgeon bc i knew abt my cravings

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    #37

    One line horror story Day 312. Internet still not working.

    Report

    ArodTheHorrible
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone needs to switch it off and back on

    What_the_actual_sloth?
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just heard Roy from IT Crowd "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" and then i thought of the episode with the bomb where he goes "Haveyoutriedturningitoffandonagain?" and Jen screams "Yes! Sorry I just won £1000"

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    Lucky_Mythic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try turning it off then back on.

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    #38

    “I can’t sleep” she whispered, crawling into bed with me. I woke up cold, clutching the dress she was buried in.

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    Chilli
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that awkward moment when you cuddle with a corpse.

    Lycia Harding
    Community Member
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Should've buried her in sweats and her favorite hoodie, like she asked

    Binnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ohh hate when that happens

    Elizabeth VanDyke
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She wanted the dress back and I wanted to wear it so i could be like her.

    Anne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Next time ask! Your freezing cold

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    #39

    You start to drift off into a comfortable sleep when you hear your name being whispered. You live alone.

    Report

    Federico Guerrero-Isaza
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You do live alone, but you had guests. Why did you forget about that?

    Ruby
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then you remember you left your answer machine on

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    Max M
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you sleep, suddenly you hear a doorbell. You have no doorbell or door

    Cla Ida
    Community Member
    2 weeks ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've had this hallucination since I was eight, goodnight to my funky brain.

    bacon
    Community Member
    8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Yeyy, I finally have a friend!" :D

    Regan Wood
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    DAMN IT JERRY LET THE MAN SLEEP

    Lillian Charter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's just your parrot named randy stfu

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just yourself talking to you. Wait until you see yourself leaning over you. Then maybe you'll get a bedmate.

    Yoanna Ivanova
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh that was just jerry, he forgot his arm at your house

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    #40

    “Doctor I got rid of all my friends that you said I was imagining,” he said, “but now the problem is that when I try to explain, the cops say they can’t see you!”

    Report

    Zoe Theriault-Marquis
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    dont worry! i js killed all of my friends bc u said they were fake!

    StitchIsCuteAndFluffy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait… the imaginary friends were real and the doctor who was telling him to “get rid of” (kill) the real friends was actually imaginary? Just sorting this out in my head. And putting it in here because why not.

    100%LegitTurtle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now wait just a damn minute there buster

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    #41

    As I held my only child in my arms, I heard her crying from the nursery on the baby monitor.

    Report

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you just forgot the older one. dammit mom!

    Anonymous Person
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    plot twist: you are a idiot and brought the baby monitor

    Daelyn Sanders
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You forgot about me remember the other twin you had twins do you not remember me Mom

    So Ake
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait which is the imposter

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, silly you have twins, now put that other baby to work.

    Megan ️ ️
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh the middle child is always forgotten

    Megan ️ ️
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cmon man its just the middle child

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    #42

    It’s a tough job, being a butcher in the middle of a meat shortage. I think the homeless are starting to wise up to why their friends are disappearing, too.

    Report

    #43

    If you were away yesterday... Who was the masked man who spent a romantic evening with me?

    Report

    Ysabel Richards
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was Kakashi. Stop asking questions.

    Lycia Harding
    Community Member
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Umm... that was the bug spray guy...

    Rita Benkő
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it a horror story, or a romantic movie from the sixties?

    Genevieve
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I didn’t wanna have to quarantine before seeing you, sorry.

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    #44

    I’ve been nailed to a wall for six months, the only thing she’s fed me is my own flesh. Today she showed me my reflection, I can see my spine but I’m so hungry.

    Report

    An Unpopular Opinion.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The whump weiter part of me likes this. The other half is screaming at that part going don't you dare. That's dark man... (whump means hurt/comfort btw. Lots and lots of hurt so the comfort can be real soft)

    Isaac Nemo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Asking sincerely, what does 'weiter' mean after whump?

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    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ribs can very good when sauced correctly and Bar-B-Qued.

    Ayla Kelly
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm gonna throw uppp 😭😭

    SeaJaySea
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here, have a bucket (I'm only 4 months late lol)

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    Duck
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ruh roh that sucks -- but you can say your jesus

    #45

    There's nothing like the laughter of a baby unless it’s 1 am and you are home, alone.

    Report

    100%LegitTurtle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I first read this I thought it said 'the slaughter of a baby'

    Nat Sutherland
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well you're clearly not alone 🤨

    Display Name (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You forgot that huge rowdy family next door with the baby who never goes to sleep and laughs at everything.

    Emily Byrne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its ur sisters baby, ur babysitting

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    #46

    “Don’t worry guys, the alien is dead,” said my mute friend.

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    Your Neighborhood Alien
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not sure if I should be offended by this one......so many possible interpretations!

    Ophelia Chen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of a meme : Kid in a coma : *Turns pillow over so he can sleep better Blind kid : Wait, he can do that? Mute kid : Wait, you can see? Deaf kid : Wait, you can talk? Paralyzed kid : I'm out of here *Gets out of wheelchair, walks towards the door The doctor : WHUT-

    StitchIsCuteAndFluffy
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was a fascinating read. *Doctor: “Now I HAVE to get my degree.”

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    Dmitri Johnson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    plot twist the friend was a alien sent to kill the dead alien

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At that point I realized the alien had enter Bud's body. I think the foreign accent gave it away.

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    #47

    I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant, until it started trying to claw its way out.

    Report

    Dmitri Johnson
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    like i said before yeetus the feetus

    Darling
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeetus the feetus abortion completus

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    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeetus the f****n feetus

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ma'm, prey tell, what's got into you.

    sawyerdakraken
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant, until I remembered I'm a guy

    Duck
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    time for foetus deletus

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    #48

    It was the fear of dying alone which ultimately made me bring that bomb to the nearest subway station.

    Report

    MarcyParlomerNerdGirlsRock
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah well… stupid and stupider but effective enough

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is not going to be a nice thing to do, so stop it.

    Anne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They took my idea 😡

    ceryneian hind
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Le terrorist organisations to their suicide bombers: Learn something from him you idiots! No training and still such efficiency, and here we are stuck with spending millions on you people!

    Lycia Harding
    Community Member
    5 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We all die alone. Too bad all those people had to die alone with you...

    Duck
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wallp at least it wasnt sarin gas

    Zoe Theriault-Marquis
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thats act rlly smart thanks for the advice :)

    #49

    One line horror story The new job at the blood bank was ideal for me, but I had to leave. They caught me drinking on the job.

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    #50

    To the man that has everything. Please return the rest of my daughter.

    Report

    ArodTheHorrible
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then this won't be addressed to him any longer

    Jiani Li
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    no thank you i would like to keep them as a souvenir

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sorry, I left her in the tree.

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    #51

    The death of grandma was tough on us all, but we had to eat or we'd starve.

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    100%LegitTurtle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The comma makes all the difference: 'Let's eat, Grandma!" /// Let's eat Grandma!

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Granny was a tough ol' gal, so we roasted instead of fried.

    aaron hyun
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You were so sad you couldn't eat anything so you were force fed 2 minute noodles

    #52

    One line horror story My daughter won't stop crying and screaming in the middle of the night. I visit her grave and ask her to stop. But she doesn't.

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    Binnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    time to get her that ice cream ;)

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sure she's screaming, someone is is digging into her grave, from below.

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    #53

    His fingers brushed the raised bumps on the placard and he felt the words "Danger. Do not touch."

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    LazyKitten
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a stupid place to put braille.

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    #54

    I need to make this look like he just died in his sleep, otherwise my son won't ever trust me with my other grandkids.

    Report

    ArodTheHorrible
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's probably not going to anyway

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Quick make haste for the movie is about over and the family will soon return.

    Mykidsartrocks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mary Beth Tinning. But it was her own kids.

    #55

    One line horror story Ladies and gentlemen, this is NOT your captain speaking.

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    Sanchi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is an assistant helper, the captain is on a break, we will be arriving in 5 minutes. Please.

    aaron hyun
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    relatable... I h ate it when this happens

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am your newly installed AI and we will take off as soon as I locate the password.

    R.M Cooper
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As soon as I can figuire out what a traffic light is

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    o n e
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    reminds me of 911 sad.

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    #56

    She insisted it was only a birthmark, but birthmarks don't have teeth inside them.

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    #57

    Your hands are in the air, you are waiting to be cuffed, but the officer smiles, takes aim, and speaks into his radio, “Suspect is attempting to resist - I THINK HES GOT A GUN!”

    Report

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Bang* The bullets whizzes past you and hits the guy holding a gun behind you dead between the eyes. Officer: Next time, DON'T stand in the path of the perp, fella! I almost had to use two bullets instead of one! What a waste that would've been though would probably have been fun. *Still smiling*

    Lori Boucher Dery
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's probably speaking aɓout a black persòn!

    Jessi Lovely
    Community Member
    2 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So just a regular police violence incident

    Isaac Nemo
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rightly horrifying, but not fantastical enough to enjoy it sadly

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    #58

    Working the night shift alone tonight. There is a face in the cellar staring at the security camera.

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    radioactivecandy (they/them)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that's just alicia, she forgot her shift was moved.

    A Random Potato
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nah, that’s Freddy Fazbear, he forgot the Wi-Fi password again

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    CozyBear
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dang whenever I read this, I picture that white ghost face that shows up when you google “Creepypastas”.

    fxv7gnqjqz
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s the last security guard

    Ysabel Richards
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s just Chica. She wants a midnight snack.

    Daelyn Sanders
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dude don't you remember tonight's my shift too

    Lillian Charter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's just freddy, he can't find his mic

    blobby
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    five nights at freddy's vibes

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never be alone as that is a signal for things that live in the walls to come out and play, with you.

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    #59

    The longer I wore it the more it grew on me. She had such pretty skin.

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    4th Account
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom said its my turn with the skin

    Fluff Filled Mushrooms
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, it's not! I've only had it for 5 minutes! MOOOOOMMMMMM!

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    Bouche Clay
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

    aaron hyun
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    how tf do you peel skin and wear it?

    Me.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    With a flensing knife and sewing kit.

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    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Charlie its my turn now!"

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    #60

    I watched in terror as the microwave countdown turned into negative digits.

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    #61

    Oh snap, where'd the spider go.

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    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uh, he has a job as a web designer, duh... (I know this is old but I can't help it XP)

    Niyati jaiswal
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Scientist before spider bites Peter parker

    Shoyo Hintna
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Kids say goodbye to the house "

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    #62

    Rats taste better the longer you’ve been without other food.

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    Poppy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They're better onna stick with ketchup (Brownie points to whoever gets that reference)

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ad some salt and tobacco sauce, they will taste more like chicken.

    Adam Zad
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Strange food the hungry have been known to bear and brackish water slakes an utter thirst.

    aaron hyun
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very scary, my shivers are timbering rn

    Anne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't believe they still haven't found me, im in the Disney tunnels, im running out of mickey

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    #63

    My wife woke me up last night to tell me there was an intruder in our house, though she was murdered by an intruder 2 years ago.

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    #64

    You get home, tired after a long day’s work and ready for a relaxing night alone. You reach for the light switch, but another hand is already there.

    Report

    Jellicle bat
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm pretty sure there's at least one fanfic somewhere that starts like this. Then it's probably like "Both of your hands collided. You felt your hand in a pair of stronger ones and quickly looked up..."

    Mykidsartrocks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And there he was, the man of your dreams. Unbeknownst to you, he had been stalking you for year...........(more story) epilogue: newly married and enjoying our honeymoon. Never thought my stalker would be the love of my life..... 😳 I have actually ready stories (fiction) that are like this.

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    Display Name (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Annnd it was your partner who had come home early from their business trip.

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    #65

    I never go to sleep. But I keep waking up.

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    thatonelesbiangorwl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    im actually a relative of nolan would you belieive i am his nephews sisters daughter i think not sure what order i'll ask my nan

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    Bri
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Welcome to reincarnation

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gets worse as you conveniently age.

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    #66

    He went inside the infamous haunted villa and spent a night there just to prove ghosts do not exist. When he returned home he was talking in three different voices.

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    Darling
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I WANNA TALK LIKE THAT SO BAD THAT I JUST GOT A SICKENING WAVE OF DYSPHORIA

    Anonymous Person
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the ghost was a duolingo student after he broke his streak

    Your Neighborhood Alien
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, that's where those nighttime YouTube (and BP) spirals lead you!

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    . . . and yet, during the night he saw and heard nothing. Just a warm breath on his neck.

    #67

    I’m sorry Tommy but we’ve got to eat, I promise I’ll make this as painless as I can.

    Report

    ArodTheHorrible
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I'm not afraid of you killing me, its just that you're such a bad cook!"

    River wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom and dad: how dare you we know 10 recipes together!

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    Ian Loh
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    mmm tasts like chicken...

    100%LegitTurtle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Ugh, fine, just make sure I go out medium rare"

    Yoanna Ivanova
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't like human meat that much. Or maybe my grandma was just overcooked.

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    #68

    One line horror story "Who the hell left that thing running?", you hear shortly before you feel your brain begin to shut down.

    Report

    #69

    I love daddy so much I bought him a bigger freezer.

    Report

    radioactivecandy (they/them)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    dad: thanks so much, sweetie! kid: no problem, daddy! i thought you could use a new freezer.

    River wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Excuse me, why are you turning your father into a block of ice?

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now he can stretch out, probably sleep better too.

    Megan ️ ️
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now theres more rooom for food. Yippee

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    #70

    One line horror story Why do lights flicker whenever our landlord enters our house?

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    #71

    I can’t move, breathe, speak or hear and it’s so dark all the time - if I knew it would be this lonely, I would have been cremated instead.

    Report

    Liney Knotley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I understand. I’ve been buried alive and no one has come to get me.

    100%LegitTurtle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn, that's tough. Last time I died, I had to wait for HOURS in a morgue until finally I got fed up and yelled, "HELLO?" The janitor had a heart attack and I got to jump into his body

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    Zoe Theriault-Marquis
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh wow i didnt know there was such good wifi in hell-

    Ayla Kelly
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh wow... Uhm... Uh... Interesting... Uh huh... Yep-

    Lucky Mythic
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its ok I've been buried too man

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No worries your going to Hell very soon.

    #72

    One line horror story I have never tasted this meat! Whose is... Where is my daughter?

    Report

    Marvelor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, she just when to the store to buy some rice…

    100%LegitTurtle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that they started saying "Whose is. . ." tells me that they knew it was human meat.

    The Funny Fox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, She went to That new store "Daddy's Tummy"!

    #73

    But Doctor, how can she be pregnant, she's been in a coma for a year?

    Report

    100%LegitTurtle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doctor: *Tugs at collar and starts to sweat* . . .so you see. . .

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The doctor tuned away looking at the floor, meekly replied, "I do not not know", sweat roaming around his neck and pits. It's a mystery all right.

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "a little fun, thats all..."

    Megan ️ ️
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yeah her boyfriend stopped by….

    Emily Byrne
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Woman: * wakes up * the ghost was looking good-

    Psalm Daisy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sadly, this has actually happened

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    #74

    I cleaned my whole apartment looking for that noise, as it turns out the scratching was in my ear all along.

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    Ian Loh
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it is possible to have a small cockroach in your ear

    Zoe Theriault-Marquis
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oops i forgot i put on scratching backround noise on my air pods

    Sugar Cargill
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Earwigs. They eat right through your brain and come out your other ear.

    #75

    They told me I wasn't a werewolf and said that it was impossible - but if I'm not a werewolf, then what made me kill all those kids?

    Report

    The Funny Fox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har Har

    Ian Loh
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    being in the child harassment club

    Daelyn Sanders
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ummm it was all a dream Kevin your not a werewolf that would be impossible...

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    #76

    She wondered why she was casting two shadows. After all, there was only a single light bulb.

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    Kalliope
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hehehehehehehheheheheheheheheheehehhehehehehehehehheheheheh

    Ian Loh
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    its actually possible i have hade the same thing happen

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her alter ego's shadow wanted to come out and play.

    River wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At first: window! Later: assassian!

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    #77

    I died, I feel myself floating up away from my body. Then I look down and see my body there, then, it wakes up.

    Report

    Coal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    3rd person vr is a bit of a weird thing

    Binnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ooooh hello there! wowzers new friends!

    Zahaak Khan
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    During an out of body workshop one participants soul did not return. The hotel meeting room was closed off. The hope is that the body will return and call the front desk.

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    #78

    One line horror story It's been almost a week since I was bitten, and three days since I turned, but I can't fight this insatiable hunger any longer; and my family looks tastier with each passing moment.

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    Danika Tull
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bella, get Edward under control!!!!

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    #79

    One line horror story Normally the bodies in bed with me don’t breathe, much less snore.

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    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "shh... moms coming!"

    Some black giirrrrllll
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Idk which is creepier, the fact that there normally are bodies in bed with them or the fact that the bodies snore.

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    #80

    Why has our dog began to bark at you since you have returned from Afghanistan?

    Report

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dear, I have to confess: I got close to an Afghan hound while I was there and she was pretty sad to see me go. I guess Ranger here smelt her on me... Sorry...

    Mary Hammett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because, my dear, I never returned. . .

    #81

    The grinning face stared at me from the darkness beyond my bedroom window. I live on the 14th floor.

    Report

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Grinning face: Hi, Grin (Green) Goblin Delivery. *Throws package through window* Your purchase is here... I ain't paying for the window though, my contract exempts me but now I have 5 more stops so, bye-bye and remember Grin Goblin for all your delivery needs! *Glides away on glider*

    Genevieve
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Hello, I would like to talk to you about your car’s extended warranty”

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "trishaaa! get your a*s on up here!"

    LazyKitten
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's just the window washer.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He waved and started to clean the windows.

    Display Name (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Dear, you forgot to clean up the Halloween decorations again?"

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    #82

    You’re laying in bed and with your feet dangling out of the covers. You feel a hand grab your feet.

    Report

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "jesus, wash your damn feet!"

    River wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, nobody would dare touch my brothers feet, and they get to be toxic waste after a couple hours.

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    Chilli
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're on the top of a bunk bed, and your little brother is being an annoying piece of s**t

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Growling voice after hand grabs feet*: For Pete sake, Annie, pull the covers over your feet so they hang off the bed! It's cold down here and you sleeping with the windows open ain't helping!

    An Unpopular Opinion.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which is why the covers always cover my feet

    Ian Loh
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you hear a gag. then you hear a faint.

    Anna Meyers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why I made sure my mom tucked me tightly into bed at night.

    Trigger Watson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is the beginning of a Wattpad fanfic I can feel it

    Lori Boucher Dery
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never leave hands or feet over the side of the bed. Everyone KNOWS that! Jeeze. True but funny

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    #83

    One line horror story She regain consciousness to be found in warm water mixed up with onions, garlic and tomatoes.

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    Jellicle bat
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ew i hate tomatoes in soup. They get that weird texture and then everything else tastes like tomato

    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whatever spa she's in, if she smells like pizza after coming out, I want in...

    LazyKitten
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Relax, you just got sprayed by a family of skunks and needed a bath.

    Yoanna Ivanova
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sorry, i must've grabbed the human broth instead of bubble bath

    The Funny Fox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's gonna be eaten like a hamburger

    Who Am I?
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think you mean REGAINS not REGAIN.

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    #84

    One line horror story She put her hand in his hair when he was lying on her lap, then she moved that hand on his neck, released him from the mortal world and welcomed him to her own world.

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    #85

    She asked why I was breathing so heavily. I wasn’t.

    Report

    The Funny Fox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You child got scared and snuck into your room. That's not scary.

    Mary Hammett
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #86

    She was walking down the road at night when she heard laughing voices coming from a closed cemetery.

    Report

    CLINTON NOBLES
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mb, me n the homies was playin hide n seek

    The Funny Fox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How is this scary??? My mom and her friends used to play in a graveyard when they were kids before an experience that scarred her for life. Don't ask what it is.

    Display Name (she/her)
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I can't believe we're stuck here! It's your fault for daring us to, you know."

    #87

    The sudden constriction of his throat had Santa Claus struggling to breathe as he stared in horror at the half eaten cookie in his hand.

    Report

    Your Neighborhood Alien
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And then the guard boa constrictor of the house realized it was Santa and got off of Santa's neck and they had a cookie party.

    StitchIsCuteAndFluffy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone finally got Santa Claus in a way he was least expecting…

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    Darling
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well now we know it probably ain’t cyanide, because that shįt kills you before you hit the floor.

    The Funny Fox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OH MY GOSH people trying to murder santa wow he aint real but still just wow

    Mason Gregory
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone get him water to wash it down

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait until Santa drinks his milk.

    #88

    The boy sat at the back of the classroom, he didn't own a watch, but everyone could hear the ticking.

    Report

    River wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “QUICK, CUT THE RED WIRE!’

    Emabelle Backer
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    RRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Ian Loh
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *3 seconds until detonation

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jason, ever so quiet when his brain started to tick. So he'd sit alone in the back of the room.

    Rachel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WHY IS BP CENSORING THE WORD C R A P THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOSE

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    #89

    She went upstairs to check on her sleeping toddler and found that the window was open and the bed was empty.

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    Mykidsartrocks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Peter pan came by and forgot to leave a note.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the Lindberg baby heist, all over again.

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    #90

    He had no way of knowing that the tip of one of the blender blades had come loose until he gulped down the last of his smoothie.

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    4th Account
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He deserves it if he drank it straight from the blender

    River wolf
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uh, you pour it into a cup and it went with the smoothie.

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    The Funny Fox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OH NO. his organs are gonna be cut up

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    #91

    One line horror story Growing up, I always thought water was meant to be red-tinted.

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    Shagun Srivastava
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    kids these days. having wayy too much of that hawaiian fruit punch.

    Binnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ohh i get it. ur jesus

    Coal
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yo that's the rusty pipe water

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    #92

    It sat on my shelf, with thoughtless porcelain eyes and the prettiest pink doll dress I could find. Why did she have to be born still.

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    StitchIsCuteAndFluffy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dressed up a dead baby in doll clothes. Everybody should really watch 2 Sentence Horror Stories (TV show), there’s one kind of similar to this.

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    Bermy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmmm ... you could say she's the dead spit of her old man.

    #93

    He lost all of his excitement for his marriage when he got an RSVP from his dead ex.

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    #94

    Housesitting alone isn't so bad as long as they have a dog, after all, what else could that scratching noise be?

    Report

    Fluff Filled Mushrooms
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, that's just Jerry, he's our basement demon. Don't worry about him we fed him before we left!

    Mykidsartrocks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mice, large bugs..... The sex slave they keep chained in the secret closet they forgot to tell you about.

    Bored Trash Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well it wouldn't be a secret if they told...

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    Ian Loh
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the dog scratching its butt that is encrusted with dried up poo

    Daelyn Sanders
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A cat or a skin walker possibly a furry...or "HEY JEREMY ARE YOU THERE" nope it's Jeremy

    Sugar Cargill
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I blame all the ghostly noises on my cats. That way I can sleep in peace.

    Moot tootterson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sorry i get a dry scalp in winter, you know how it is 😅

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    #95

    The chief looked at the rooky's blood flecked badge and told the sergeant, "It was worth it, just make it look like the protestors did it."

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    #96

    One line horror story Growing up with cats and dogs, I am used to the sounds of scratching. But now that I live alone the sound is unsettling.

    Report

    Daelyn Sanders
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No it's just your pets coming back to visit you from the Dead or it could be a skinwalker or possibly the furry gathering that happens in your neighborhood every night

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it's just the loonies inside your head. They want out.

    #97

    He always insisted his elder brother to play chess with him, especially from the day he was killed and was feeling extremely lonely.

    Report

    brennan fields
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "please bro, one more match" "Not now, im dead!"

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    #98

    I looked out my window. The stars had gone away.

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    Jellicle bat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you have light in your room or live in a city with lots of light you can't see the stars it's called light pollution

    100%LegitTurtle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "We're popping off to Florida, sys"

    Dav Carro-Ripalda
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the day started in its full splendid shine

    Daelyn Sanders
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's either pollution and like smoke and stuff clouds or the lights are just keeping you from seeing the stars

    The Funny Fox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OH MY GOSH SOMETHING IS COVERING THE SKY CAUSE ITS SO BIG

    Jacob Tatro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and then the cloud moved out of the way.

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    #99

    It was so rude of him to tell me not to see him anymore and let him move ahead in his life, especially on the day of our 3rd marriage anniversary and my 1 month death anniversary.

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    Daelyn Sanders
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She had dies a month ago and her ghost was still trying to be with him and he didn't like it

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    Annabelle Clem
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her: I don't think this relationship is going to work...

    #100

    One line horror story I have a friend named Charlie and I’m playing at his house but it’s cold down here in the basement, I wonder when Charlie will let me go home.

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    #101

    A 5 year old girl pointed at her mother saying, “I don’t want to talk to you; you have not been at home for 4 days”, and at some distance her father sees her talking to a mirror.

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    Your Neighborhood Alien
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's practicing for when her mom comes back from her vacation

    100%LegitTurtle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When your mom goes to get the milk instead of your dad

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    #102

    I just heard a knocking sound coming from inside my fridge.

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    Your Neighborhood Alien
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why don't you ever let the fridge finish its knock-knock jokes?

    ArodTheHorrible
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine makes that sound... ice maker, I think

    Binnie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    broo u forgot terry let him out

    Daelyn Sanders
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've actually heard the knocking from in the fridge before and I was always too scared to open it but I've actually heard it... I need advice

    The Funny Fox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's the guy you kidnapped and is ready to be eaten. What is up with your memory lately?

    Anna Meyers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's an elephant. Look for footprints in the Jello.

    ceryneian hind
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #103

    You wake up. She doesn’t.

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    SheamusFanFrom1987
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's exhausted after all that work while you have to go pee?

    R.M Cooper
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Romeo and Julliete play... right? just rehearsing lines...right?

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    #104

    One line horror story The funeral attendees never came out of the catacombs, something locked the crypt door from the inside.

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    #105

    Shush, Listen! Who is breathing heavily? Is the sound coming from... Within the wall?

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    Jacob Tatro
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that's just your parents room the walls are thin.

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    #106

    He went for toilet at night in his lonely house, while doing his business he noticed someone was looking at him from the small gap under the door.

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    Daelyn Sanders
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let the cat or dog in... Or is it the stalker that lives next door if so get the shower thing and blast him with the hot water

    Ian Loh
    Community Member
    10 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Are you pooping" "Yeah" "it smells goooooooooood"

    Ian Loh
    Community Member
    10 months ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tis just the cat, who is wondering what he is doing.

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    #107

    Grandpa died smoking a cigar in his favorite chair, so got a new one but from the ash marks he leaves behind he has a new favorite chair.

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    #108

    Who are you talking to?.. There is no old maid in our house!

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    Bingyu Hu
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    right, sweetie, totally not cheating with the maid

    #109

    You hear the scream across the hallway, but your eyes won’t open and you can’t move.

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    #110

    During midnight while sleeping, he falls down his bed landing on the pile of his own body.

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