Man Annoyed With Aunt Questioning His Sexuality Gives A Raunchy Reply, Making Her Leave Family Dinner
What I personally have always admired in some representatives of the older generation is confidence in their own rightness in literally any situation, and also the equally absolute, impenetrable confidence that they have the right to stick their nose into the personal lives of others – simply because they know how it will be better.
In such cases, some break down and resort to insults, some try to maintain a poker face in any way, but others – like, for example, the user u/throwawaynitecrawler, whose story we will tell you today, simply turn on the sarcasm to the fullest.
The author of the post and his girlfriend have a longtime relationship, and they decided to stay childfree
Image credits: Wilson Lau (not the actual photo)
The main reason is they both don’t like kids that much and aren’t ready ‘to cope with their antics’
Image credits: u/throwawaynitecrawler
However, the author’s aunt wasn’t happy with her nephew’s decision and had been pestering him with her questions for years
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/throwawaynitecrawler
At a recent family holiday gathering, the aunt ended up asking if he was gay
Image credits: _Libby_ (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/throwawaynitecrawler
The guy turned his sarcasm on and came back with some raunchy replies, which destroyed his aunt completely
So, the Original Poster (OP) immediately makes a small disclaimer – he is a straight male who has a stable relationship with his girlfriend, but both of them, firstly, are in no hurry to tie the knot, and secondly, they decided to remain childfree. Yes, the author honestly admits that he does not like kids and is not ready to put up with their antics. In the end, this is everyone’s personal business and deserves respect. Or not?
For the OP’s aunt, the answer was obvious – of course, this is a matter that requires her personal intervention! And for several years, the ‘respectable’ lady had been pestering her nephew with questions about when he would finally start a ‘full-fledged’ family – and got to the point where the guy simply began to avoid family gatherings.
But last New Year, he and his girlfriend came to visit the OP’s parents – and at one fine moment, sitting at a table full of guests, aunt M. once more began her favorite topic. But this time the woman also decided to include sarcasm – she asked the author if he was gay.
Quite a weird question for a man, next to whom his longtime girlfriend is sitting, tenderly and firmly holding his hand, but the question was asked. The guests were bewildered, and the OP’s girlfriend simply squeezed his hand tightly so that he would not snap out at his aunt. Quite on time – the guy just switched to sarcasm too.
First, the original poster sarcastically asked if the aunt would like to watch him and his girlfriend have sex – she’s probably such a pervert! When the blushing aunt muttered that the OP was simply not married, so she thought… then the author sharply stated that if being married meant being as entitled and nosy as she was, then he would prefer to give men oral pleasure, then.
Aunt M. was simply destroyed. She quickly got out from behind the table and fled, and the opinions of the assembled guests were divided. Some – like the author’s parents, for example – were sure that he reacted correctly. Others thought he overreacted. As for the OP’s girlfriend, she, as an experienced Redditor, suggested that her sweetheart get the opinion of netizens.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
“It’s a very familiar situation, unfortunately. Even too familiar,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda asked for a comment here. “Some people really consider themselves entitled to interfere in the personal lives of relatives, simply for the reason that they are sincerely confident they care about their well-being and happiness. The fact that other people may perceive their own happiness somehow differently, such people for some reason prefer not to take into account…”
“Perhaps these words sounded somewhat harsh – especially in front of a large crowd of people, but if he more than once asked his aunt not to interfere in his personal life, and not to voice her own opinion, and she neglected these requests over and over again – well, then it was quite reasonable. Sometimes difficult situations require difficult decisions,” Irina summarizes.
Most commenters also unanimously sided with the original poster, claiming that he did exactly the right thing, and the entitled aunt really got what she deserved. Moreover, even other representatives of the older generation, such as the author’s parents, thought that he was right, and that was none of the aunt’s business.
However, according to some people in the comments, such situations are not at all uncommon. At least one of the folks wrote that this story reminds them of their own auntie as well. And netizens considered the guy’s reaction to his aunt’s words simply brilliant. “Your aunt ruined lunch, not you. Your tactic was effective because she hasn’t said anything since,” one of the commenters claimed. And what do you, our dear readers, actually think about this?
Meanwhile most people in the comments unanimously sided with the man, claiming that his entitled aunt got what she deserved
One of countless examples of "we're okay with letting x ruin your time here because it doesn't affect us, but now that your said something back it's not okay." Please. Don't want lunch ruined, don't invite known rude a******s to lunch.
For real. His bad aunt was making him not want to come to family luches. Some of his family was just fine with her harassing him because they weren't the targets. Some people think they can get away with that because they are older and have enabling families. Not everyone wants to get married and have kids. The aunt is the only one "worried" about OP because she's a raging a$$hole.
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When someone would ask me "do you want kids?", I'd reply with an absentminded "no, thanks, I'm not hungry" and go on with the conversation like nothing happened.
Another option you can use (this is very dependent on the history of people there) is to look them straight in the eye and say “I’m sterile”.
Yeah but then they go with 'oh you can adopt' so then you have to go again about not wanting children at all and get the judgement and disappointment and disapproval all over again
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loved this! did similar thing w/my brother who had been in europe for over 10yrs. he returned when mom became very ill. following surgery he & i went to home to help dad care for her. when he left i had been 16. was now married w/kid. at the time i was into weightlifting (was in law enforcement so needed to stay in shape) & had very short hair. one day we're all on the patio & he says to mom that i looked like arnold Schwarzenegger in drag. so i leaned over to mom & said 'i better not tell him that i roll my own tampons and kickstart my vibrator'. thought dad was going to choke on his tea & mom split her stitches. so, no - he is not the a hole.
Talliloo, this is the best thing I've heard all year!
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Some people just won't be told politely. You can try over and over again to politely put them off, but they persist. Till eventually you have to do away with all politeness and just tell them very sternly and rudely. However over the top it may be to do so, it just has to be done. Tell them bluntly, straight to the point and don't sugar-coat it. It's the only way that will work with them. Whatever the topic may be, there are those people whom it doesn't work to be polite with. But it often makes you wonder why you just didn't tell them sooner? Why you put up with them for so long? Still, your Aunt finally got the message...
Nice. Bit harsh but after all the time you've felt with her an her bs and in front of your gf it was great. Too bad your gf didn't say something about "well his oral skills are awesome so maybe he like sucking more than f'ing. That's why I haven't been knocked up." As for being married? Yeah I went through that too w family. Over an over. You aren't married yet? What no kids? Dammit if I wanted you in my bedroom I would have asked. And as for married? No I'm happy how I am.
Harsh yes, but she spent years not responding to nice. I particularly like that his parents are on board
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Ohhh Auntie, Auntie: "I'm a Catholic wh**e, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works at a military ab***ion clinic. Hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon madam."
I always take offence to the attitude that you should let something like this slide just because they have always been like that. Always been like that is the problem and it does not change unless someone calls them on it. Nobody in life is the 100% perfect person and there is always room to look at how you are and realise you are a jerk / a walk over/ etc. Learning how to conversation/socialise does not stop just because you are now an adult
And if they have always been like that and that's enough reason to let it slide, how come that doesn't apply to me always being like this? The most insulting thing about s**t like this isn't the problem person, it's the enabling aholes who insult you by expecting you to just fall in like with such stupid logic!
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Recently my aunt made a comment about me to another relative. She said it's not like I have anything to offer to anyone(read a guy)in terms of professional qualification or looks or money. I am glad she didn't say that to my face or I would've burst in tears. So definitely not the NTA. I wish I had the guts!
Your aunt is a disgrace to the noble tradition of aunts. She should have her aunt licence revoked
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Some replies are just EPIC, and this is one of them. Nobody should be obligated to associate with people they detest just because they're relatives.
Not a aunt but my own mother, she started asking for Grandchildren when I had just turned 16 years old. I don't like kids, I had enough trouble with them when I was at school, didn't want give birth to one of my own thanks.. By the time got to about 30 she finally got the message.
I had a similar thing with an elderly lady in a very small town I grew up in. There was like one Main Street & I lived on it. I had a friend who would come up from the Valley (in Calii) to visit me. He’d spent the night after we been on a date where he lived. One day my mom & I go to our local coffee place & of course everyone says hi & chats. Lily stops me walking by & says, “Oh hi hon, I see you got a new car!” I’m like, “Huh?” Thinking WTF is she talking about. She says, “I was coming back into town on Saturday night and saw a (reels off the make of my friends car) parked in your driveway, just thought you must of got yourself a new car?” She has a $hit eating grin on her face. Now I’m 25 (was 1980) my mom didn’t care who I was with, she knew him! Mom rolled her eyes. I smiled sweetly & said, “No, same old car, don’t have a clue what you thought you saw!” They thought they had some right to know what everyone in town did. I walked away but saw that pissed look.
Sir, have you considered a lucrative career in writing a book on how to deal with such relatives? I'll pre-order!
well said op!! i hate children too and never want to have them, so i relate to op a lot
Blunt and crass are the only way to get people like this to shut the hell up and leave you alone. It's true that women can be more sexist than men because men generally mind their own business about people's personal lives. Why ARE these women so nosy? Because they spent their lives being everyone's wife and Mom and did not bother to develop a real personality.
Crude, but effective. 👍 maybe aunt nozeilla will mind her own business 😁
Well, if it took care of the problem then all is well. Why would she even care? My son and his longtime girlfriend are not married and have both made it very clear they do not want kids. I fully support whatever choices they want to make.
You deal with people like that aunt, exactly the way he did. There are no excuses for her behavior, family or otherwise.
NOPE, NTA! She got every pointed barb she had coming. First off, your private life and preferences are none of her business. Great shut down. As of just letting it slide suggestion from some of the family - HELL NO. If you don't make your point in a fashion that will get their attention and make them think twice the next time, they will continue doing it. I had an Aunt like this and had to let her know I was the wrong nephew to mess with and let the rest of the family know it too.
That's a epic answer! Sometimes ya just gotta go with most outrageous statements to get other people to back the f off! Oh yeah - and NTA. :)
I'm 56 now, almost 57, and I've always known I never wanted to be a father. I'm old enough finally that people understand, but it used to p**s me off to no end when people automatically said "Oh, you'll change your mind" or some other vapid reply to my declaration of not wanting kids. I also feel a lot of people reproduce due to family pressures, and not because they want to.
If you could only get the attitude these people have in your post. The smugness they have that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. And the holier than tho look they always have on their face; nobody would think you were the AH. We all have at least one of those.
Everyone can decide for themselves if they want marriage, family or not. He was in right to give those answers and shame his aunt. On the other hand saying, " we despise children" sounds very rude It's fine if you are annoyed by them, or don't want any, but saying to despise them is too aggressive too rude. Especially when you think how freaking annoying adults can be, like his aunt, who should know better, and kids just behave appropriate to their ages.
ha ha. . sorry I'm just laughing because whenever I see "Nosy Aunt" in my text messages it's usually been auto corrected from something else.
You've been ignoring it and letting it slide for ages. You don't owe her or your sucky family members a GD thing. Good for you!!! NTA 3000.
Sometimes it takes a rwo-by-four comment to shut people up.
? What is your point? You posted without explaining.
Load More Replies... OP was extremely rude. When two young, healthy people are in a committed relationship but aren't married, it's natural to wonder when they'll get married and why they haven't gotten married yet. Marriage is the natural goal of most people when they enter a committed relationship. Same goes for having children - most couples do want to have children.
he was not, his parents literally told the aunt to stop, she knows he’s not comfortable. and what type of person asks if someone’s gay, with their straight partner right there?
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Bruh. He doesn’t like screaming s**t machines that cost tens of thousands of dollars, and thousands of hours of sleep. It’s not racism level.
Load More Replies... One of countless examples of "we're okay with letting x ruin your time here because it doesn't affect us, but now that your said something back it's not okay." Please. Don't want lunch ruined, don't invite known rude a******s to lunch.
For real. His bad aunt was making him not want to come to family luches. Some of his family was just fine with her harassing him because they weren't the targets. Some people think they can get away with that because they are older and have enabling families. Not everyone wants to get married and have kids. The aunt is the only one "worried" about OP because she's a raging a$$hole.
Load More Replies... When someone would ask me "do you want kids?", I'd reply with an absentminded "no, thanks, I'm not hungry" and go on with the conversation like nothing happened.
Another option you can use (this is very dependent on the history of people there) is to look them straight in the eye and say “I’m sterile”.
Yeah but then they go with 'oh you can adopt' so then you have to go again about not wanting children at all and get the judgement and disappointment and disapproval all over again
Load More Replies... loved this! did similar thing w/my brother who had been in europe for over 10yrs. he returned when mom became very ill. following surgery he & i went to home to help dad care for her. when he left i had been 16. was now married w/kid. at the time i was into weightlifting (was in law enforcement so needed to stay in shape) & had very short hair. one day we're all on the patio & he says to mom that i looked like arnold Schwarzenegger in drag. so i leaned over to mom & said 'i better not tell him that i roll my own tampons and kickstart my vibrator'. thought dad was going to choke on his tea & mom split her stitches. so, no - he is not the a hole.
Talliloo, this is the best thing I've heard all year!
Load More Replies... Some people just won't be told politely. You can try over and over again to politely put them off, but they persist. Till eventually you have to do away with all politeness and just tell them very sternly and rudely. However over the top it may be to do so, it just has to be done. Tell them bluntly, straight to the point and don't sugar-coat it. It's the only way that will work with them. Whatever the topic may be, there are those people whom it doesn't work to be polite with. But it often makes you wonder why you just didn't tell them sooner? Why you put up with them for so long? Still, your Aunt finally got the message...
Nice. Bit harsh but after all the time you've felt with her an her bs and in front of your gf it was great. Too bad your gf didn't say something about "well his oral skills are awesome so maybe he like sucking more than f'ing. That's why I haven't been knocked up." As for being married? Yeah I went through that too w family. Over an over. You aren't married yet? What no kids? Dammit if I wanted you in my bedroom I would have asked. And as for married? No I'm happy how I am.
Harsh yes, but she spent years not responding to nice. I particularly like that his parents are on board
Load More Replies... Ohhh Auntie, Auntie: "I'm a Catholic wh**e, currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black, Jewish boyfriend who works at a military ab***ion clinic. Hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon madam."
I always take offence to the attitude that you should let something like this slide just because they have always been like that. Always been like that is the problem and it does not change unless someone calls them on it. Nobody in life is the 100% perfect person and there is always room to look at how you are and realise you are a jerk / a walk over/ etc. Learning how to conversation/socialise does not stop just because you are now an adult
And if they have always been like that and that's enough reason to let it slide, how come that doesn't apply to me always being like this? The most insulting thing about s**t like this isn't the problem person, it's the enabling aholes who insult you by expecting you to just fall in like with such stupid logic!
Load More Replies... Recently my aunt made a comment about me to another relative. She said it's not like I have anything to offer to anyone(read a guy)in terms of professional qualification or looks or money. I am glad she didn't say that to my face or I would've burst in tears. So definitely not the NTA. I wish I had the guts!
Your aunt is a disgrace to the noble tradition of aunts. She should have her aunt licence revoked
Load More Replies... Some replies are just EPIC, and this is one of them. Nobody should be obligated to associate with people they detest just because they're relatives.
Not a aunt but my own mother, she started asking for Grandchildren when I had just turned 16 years old. I don't like kids, I had enough trouble with them when I was at school, didn't want give birth to one of my own thanks.. By the time got to about 30 she finally got the message.
I had a similar thing with an elderly lady in a very small town I grew up in. There was like one Main Street & I lived on it. I had a friend who would come up from the Valley (in Calii) to visit me. He’d spent the night after we been on a date where he lived. One day my mom & I go to our local coffee place & of course everyone says hi & chats. Lily stops me walking by & says, “Oh hi hon, I see you got a new car!” I’m like, “Huh?” Thinking WTF is she talking about. She says, “I was coming back into town on Saturday night and saw a (reels off the make of my friends car) parked in your driveway, just thought you must of got yourself a new car?” She has a $hit eating grin on her face. Now I’m 25 (was 1980) my mom didn’t care who I was with, she knew him! Mom rolled her eyes. I smiled sweetly & said, “No, same old car, don’t have a clue what you thought you saw!” They thought they had some right to know what everyone in town did. I walked away but saw that pissed look.
Sir, have you considered a lucrative career in writing a book on how to deal with such relatives? I'll pre-order!
well said op!! i hate children too and never want to have them, so i relate to op a lot
Blunt and crass are the only way to get people like this to shut the hell up and leave you alone. It's true that women can be more sexist than men because men generally mind their own business about people's personal lives. Why ARE these women so nosy? Because they spent their lives being everyone's wife and Mom and did not bother to develop a real personality.
Crude, but effective. 👍 maybe aunt nozeilla will mind her own business 😁
Well, if it took care of the problem then all is well. Why would she even care? My son and his longtime girlfriend are not married and have both made it very clear they do not want kids. I fully support whatever choices they want to make.
You deal with people like that aunt, exactly the way he did. There are no excuses for her behavior, family or otherwise.
NOPE, NTA! She got every pointed barb she had coming. First off, your private life and preferences are none of her business. Great shut down. As of just letting it slide suggestion from some of the family - HELL NO. If you don't make your point in a fashion that will get their attention and make them think twice the next time, they will continue doing it. I had an Aunt like this and had to let her know I was the wrong nephew to mess with and let the rest of the family know it too.
That's a epic answer! Sometimes ya just gotta go with most outrageous statements to get other people to back the f off! Oh yeah - and NTA. :)
I'm 56 now, almost 57, and I've always known I never wanted to be a father. I'm old enough finally that people understand, but it used to p**s me off to no end when people automatically said "Oh, you'll change your mind" or some other vapid reply to my declaration of not wanting kids. I also feel a lot of people reproduce due to family pressures, and not because they want to.
If you could only get the attitude these people have in your post. The smugness they have that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up. And the holier than tho look they always have on their face; nobody would think you were the AH. We all have at least one of those.
Everyone can decide for themselves if they want marriage, family or not. He was in right to give those answers and shame his aunt. On the other hand saying, " we despise children" sounds very rude It's fine if you are annoyed by them, or don't want any, but saying to despise them is too aggressive too rude. Especially when you think how freaking annoying adults can be, like his aunt, who should know better, and kids just behave appropriate to their ages.
ha ha. . sorry I'm just laughing because whenever I see "Nosy Aunt" in my text messages it's usually been auto corrected from something else.
You've been ignoring it and letting it slide for ages. You don't owe her or your sucky family members a GD thing. Good for you!!! NTA 3000.
Sometimes it takes a rwo-by-four comment to shut people up.
? What is your point? You posted without explaining.
Load More Replies... OP was extremely rude. When two young, healthy people are in a committed relationship but aren't married, it's natural to wonder when they'll get married and why they haven't gotten married yet. Marriage is the natural goal of most people when they enter a committed relationship. Same goes for having children - most couples do want to have children.
he was not, his parents literally told the aunt to stop, she knows he’s not comfortable. and what type of person asks if someone’s gay, with their straight partner right there?
Load More Replies... Bruh. He doesn’t like screaming s**t machines that cost tens of thousands of dollars, and thousands of hours of sleep. It’s not racism level.
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