“I’m Scared To Tell My American Friends”: 11 Things That Are Normal In Denmark But Not In America
Interview
With 33 hour work weeks, a $20 minimum wage, free university, free medical care and free child care, Denmark has been one of the happiest countries in the world for the last decade or more. Home of Hans Christian Andersen and hygge, many people around the globe have an idealized view of what it’s like to live in Denmark. But according to one mother from the US who actually lives there, there are certain cultural differences that might shock the average American.
In her series “Things That Are Normal In Denmark That I’m Scared To Tell My American Friends”, TikToker Annie In Eventyrland shares all of the culture shocks she has experienced since she moved to Denmark. Below, you’ll find many of Annie’s observations about how Danish children are treated, as well as an interview with her and some of the reactions her videos have received.
We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments about how normal these things would be in your home country, whether you’re American, Danish or from somewhere else completely! Then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring cultural differences from around the world, look no further than right here.
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It seems like age 7-8 is completely normal for a kid to walk to and from school by themselves, not really any later than 10, depending on where you live and where the kid's school is.
Im 64. I walked to school including kindergarden in my small town in W. MD LIKE 1/2 mile every day in the good ole USA. Thats not Denmark, that is the time we live in, fueled by internet which has destroyed communities despite pretending to make it more cohesive.
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Same for me growing up in both Ireland and the UK. In fact I was younger - around 5 l 6.
Ditto. These days, kids don't seem to be allowed to walk more than a few yards/metres.
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This used to be the norm in the US too. I’m 61, and either walked, rode my bike, or took the school bus (on rainy days) to school from 1966 to 1977—got my license early that year (born in November, got license in November of 1976, but no car until 1977) and started driving myself to school.
I don't want to say my age, but it was common in the US even more recently. On one hand, I think people are paranoid and over-protective. On the other hand, we're so much more *aware* of the evil things that happen to kids now, that I can't really blame them. I don't know the stats, but I get the feeling that sex trafficking in the US has become much worse (?). Makes me want to lock my kids inside and never let them out of my sight.
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Yeah, perfectly normal in a lot of Northern/Western European countries.
Well, Denmark is a civilized country. The US is a sinister version of the Mad Hatter's Tea Party. My mom used to send me to the store starting as age 6. We lived on a 4 lane highway and I had to cross the road and walk a few blocks to get there. She even knew one of the kids across the street from us was kidnapped off the road one time. The 70's really was survival of the fittest.
In my little hometown most kids walked to school (I don't know about now) and the older kids looked out for the younger ones. I live in Australia.
The only reason I had to get a bus to school rather than walk was that I'd have to cross a very busy dangerous main road to get to school in Ireland without any zebra crossing.
It used to be normal, but people now are afraid to let their kids go alone. It's not just stranger danger, sometimes kids have to cross a busy street and not every driver is responsible.
Yes! Same in the Netherlands in the 80's. Wonderful! Taught me te be creative and avoid boys who pulled my hair, kicked me and bullied in general in the little alleyways around my house 😑 /s
In the German speaking part of Switzerland 4 is considered a great age to start doing this (sane age as obligatory kindergarden begins). Every year before the beginning of the school year, major newspapers run articles about the benefits (and ongoing decline) of this custom. Teachers very actively encourage parents not to rob their children off this experience. Driving kids to school is discouraged in the highest tones, snd as alternative for helicopter parents “pedibus” exists: fixed routes with fixed stops where you can bring your kids for them to continue their way on foot in a large group with some supervising adults.
I walked at least a mile to and from elementary school in the early 80's. This was also in the US.
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My kids rode their bikes or walked a mile to school together at 7 and 9, in the US. They are only 14 and 16 now. And they still walk, bike, scooter, or skateboards to school, but its about 3 miles and we live in Germany. They hated the bus and the exercise and outside time without adults nagging on him helped with the youngest's ADHD. Its not hard...you teach them how to cross roads, you talk to them honestly about things like pedophiles, ect (more likely to be a family member or person trusted by the family anyhow), you talk to them about different scenatios so they can practice what to do, you practice the walk/ride route before hand and let them try it on their own to see how long it takes them (gotta know when to leave in the morning), you go with them the first time or two, and then you periodically check up on them. With smartphones and smart watches its easier than ever...you can privately share locations, call or text, etc.
This was normal when I was a kid in the U.S. back in the 1970's. The U.S. is now a fear based society.
Used to be the same in the US - I walked to school (3/4 of a mile or a mile) in 2nd grade - so 7.
The media has done a good job in selling the story of a pervert hiding in the bushes waiting to snatch our kids because sensationalizing sells. But statistically kids are at greater risk for sexual assault from close friends and family members than strangers. You can only be betrayed by those you trust.
I agree. US parents are so terrified of something bad will happen. The kids are growing up afraid of everything.
Yeah I did that in the 80's, had to change routes often because slightly older kids would wait for me and pull my hair or push or bully in general. It does make you independent and I knew a lot of escape routes by heart 😐
same in Lithuania, mom took us only to first sept1, then we knew where school is and how to walk there
Here's the reality- We Americans used to let our kids walk to school, alone, from kindergarten on in grades, until the late 1970s when there were a few publicized kidnappings of young kids, then parents were scared and took precautions. I grew up walking to my elementary and middle (collége) and high school (lycée) schools alone, without fear. (70s to 80s) we kids had freedom to walk, run, bike everywhere without fear but being vigilant. Forward to the 2k era, and, because humans just suck, my kids couldnt go to a playground, ride their bikes freely without my participation because the government decided either parents were being neglectfull of their children or that the bogeyman was going to snatch our children. And the school shootings. We lived 1 hour away from Sandy Hook elementary school, and all the schools were put on lock down. You want to know fear? When you're told you can't come near jour child's school because the authorities don't know what's happening but don't want "copy cats" killing more kids. And later, your kindergarten er is telling you how they played a new game at school of hiding and don't move, don't speak. My kids lost out on the freedom of being a kid and discovering the loveliness of world that I experienced. I've moved from the USA and I'll never go back because I can't trust I'll be safe anywhere in the USA. Living a life in France where I'm not scared for the safety of my kids or myself, and we have a lot of freedom like I remember from my childhood.
Depends on the area. In my small town (just outside of NYC) kids walk all over the place.
Same in the 70s in Australia l think,not like now,I know l did some of it in primary School.
I'm from Scotland, and walked to school myself from around age 6 or so. But then again, my school was only ten minutes walk away.
Live in the US walked, then later rode my bike, from age 7 on around a mile to school; lived just north of Los Angeles in the suburbs. This was in the 70's
I (American) started at 9 but it was three blocks along a busy street in a relatively safe neighborhood.
Nobody realizes that America is a nightmare country... So many people are so convinced that it's the best country in the world.... Because they've never bothered to consider what it's like anywhere else.
Where I live in the U.S. this is, or at least was, normal for me when I was 7-8
I walked to school by myself at 6-7. But this was back in 1973 (US) and the school was only a block away.
We used to walk to school from kindergarten on. With sibling until we lived where we had to ride a bus. But, this was 1979 and 80s USA
Obviously it depends on location, but plenty of kids in the US still walk to school.
Bit ingenious showing a pic of a 3 / 4 year old to make this comment seem more shocking- I’m shocked that this isn’t the norm in America!
Completely agree. My son always walked to school on his own or with a friend from quite early on, at his request.
I walk home from school when I was in 2nd grade. About 0.5 miles. In mesa, az. I was 8 and 9. One time I walk home when I was 6 to my aunt's, that live just next to the school. And I one time walked home from the bus stop when I was like 4. That was likely 1/8 of a mile. That was the day I learn that sun can be out, and it can still rain a little bit.
I walked to and from school alone when I was 6 yes old. I crossed 2 very busy intersections and it was 7 or 8 blocks one way.
Depending where you live and where the kids school is... So not even Denmark?
Same for the US, at least back when I was in school in the seventies and eighties.
Im 39 and walked to school from 5 yrs old onward. My kids i had wait til 8+ but they have to do a combo of walk+bus. I will not raise a kid to be 25 and living in my basement, never having gotten themselves to mall or driven anywhere! I see so much of it and am glad to not contribute.
We alked to school alone at that age all the time when I was young. Kids nowadays a spoiled
Same in the U.S. 50 years ago... I walked to and from school from 2nd grade through High School
Geez I won't even let my 23 yr old go out by herself. I would never let either of my kids walk to school at 7 or 8. Colorado has way too much issues for that to be safe
as a kid I wasnt allowed to walk to the bus stop myself until i was around 10 or 11, then I and my brother (2 yrs younger) were mostly like able to go alone if one of our parents or older brother couldn't take us. as we grew up, after 5th grade you can't ride the bus at that school unless you lived i think a mile or more away, so my parents dropped us off and picked us up when they could but mostly we walked since it wasnt too far. i was on the bus in 6th grade tho since my bro had an IEP and i kept him calm on the bus lol. then we moved (same town dif house) and now we're on the bus bc our hs is roughly 9 miles away, but my mom takes us down in the morning and picks us up from the bus stop when she can - but its nbd if we need to walk bc it takes us like 3 minutes since we both walk fast lol
I partially grew up in Singapore and Indonesia. It's very common there, too. My brother used to walk home or take the bus home by himself around 8 years old.
My 7-year-old nephew and his 5-year-old sister walk home after school by themselves if my SIL can't make it due to their little brother napping. They know (and the teachers know) that if mom isn't there, they can just walk home.
Growing up in Ireland(dublin)we walked to school at 8/9 but these days i wouldnt let my 11 yo daughter walk 25 min up 2 school 🤯 stranger danger
Yes, but this is in the same safe communities where you can leave your baby in their pram outside the cafe.
The thing is that these "safe" communities are a cycle. More kids and women outside going about their daily business means more open eyes and more witnesses. This makes the streets a safer space, which means more people go out and the whole area lifts itself up. What sort of psychotic society regards a sleeping baby as stealable property?
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Poland. I was 8 y.o. and was ridiculed by my classmates because I was the last one from the whole class who walked to school with my parents. (And they were quite overprotective given the times in which I was growing up.) I attended elementary school almost 20 years ago though.
In today's society it's NOT smart no matter what country you're from!!!
I don't know what you mean by "today's society"? You realize it is not the same in every country and even within a country?
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People leave their babies outside in their strollers to sleep. To me, it's a sign of safety and trust in the community.
To hear more about Annie’s thoughts on Danish parenting and how she ended up in Denmark in the first place, we reached out to her via email. She told Bored Panda that her family relocated to Copenhagen about three and a half years ago because the design company her husband works for opened an office there.
We asked Annie how she would compare living in Denmark to living in the US, and she told us, “Considering just the sheer difference in population, it's really hard to compare. But I am really thankful that Denmark is so safe. Copenhagen is listed as the safest city in the world, and I'm extremely grateful to be able to raise my children here. For that, I do prefer Denmark, but I would be lying if I said I didn't miss the occasional Target run from time to time.”
In Denmark, you can't name your baby whatever you want. In fact, there's a preapproved list that you can choose from. And if the name that you wanna choose for your baby isn't on there, it has to be approved. So we can't name our kids something like Malibu Barbie here, but there are even more common-seeming names that have been blacklisted as well.
In the US, there's this perception that Denmark is just this extremely healthy country and everyone eats super clean and just eats whole foods, fruit, vegetables all the time.
And in the US, at least where I had my kids, which was in New York and then Portland, Oregon, there was a lot of stigma around giving your kids sugar or any kind of junk food.
Honestly, something that I really love about Denmark is how normalized treats are.
Doctors will literally recommend it if your kid is sick, they will say, "Well, have you tried giving them ice cream yet?"
Another food that's kind of demonized again, at least where I'm from in the US, is anything with bread, any carbs of any kind. Here in Denmark, you might have a pastry every day. You might have a pastry several times a day, and then pasta with some bread. You'd probably wash that down with a coke or a glass of wine, or several beers.
I do love how normalized fun foods are, and I think it actually sets people up for really healthy eating habits.
In Finland, it's sort of the same but people usually feed their kids healthy food ever day. Even school food is real food, not junk food.
We also asked Annie if it took a while to acclimate to all of the cultural differences, and she shared, “I honestly feel like I am still adjusting to the cultural differences here. I wasn't expecting it, but it feels like literally everything is different from what I'm used to in some way, for reasons big and small.”
“Learning to grocery shop in a foreign country took me a couple years to get down, and I still have room for improvement,” Annie admitted. “The hardest thing for me to get used to was, considering maternity leave and work life balance is so healthy here, there really isn't such a thing as a stay at home parent, which was my role for five years before making the move. It's been a lot having my entire identity change, but for the better.”
Something that seems to be very normalized here are afflictions of old, in particular, lice. I grew up in Texas and I never had lice in my entire childhood or early adult life. If somebody were to get it, it's kind of a big deal. But I will never forget, a few months after we moved here, as we were leaving my son's kindergarten, he was complaining that his head was itching, and sure enough, I looked at his scalp and there just was like the perfect pattern of lice eggs.
I ran back into the classroom and was like, "Oh my gosh, I just noticed my son has lice." And the teacher was like, "Okay, well, I'll send out an email and let everybody know." They were just so calm about it. Whereas I feel like in the US, people would be freaking out.
The legal drinking age here is 16, you're allowed to buy alcohol of certain levels. In case you don't know, the legal drinking age in the US is 21.
We then asked Annie if she thinks many American parents could learn a thing or two from Danish parents. “One of the biggest differences between American and Danish parents is how relaxed they are, and with nearly a year of maternity leave, paid vacation and sick days, living in such a safe country, affordable childcare and no medical costs, why wouldn't they be?”
“For that reason, I think it would be pretty difficult for American parents to be as relaxed as their Danish counterparts,” Annie told Bored Panda. “But I do think American culture could stand to step back from helicopter parenting, having their kids in so many activities and having so many educational expectations for them at such young ages. Denmark is really good at letting kids be kids.”
If you drop your kid off at daycare, kindergarten, elementary school, any institution, they could leave at any point and you might not know where they are.
I honestly don't know how many times I picked up my kid from school and they were like, "Hey, we went to the theater today," and I had absolutely no clue that they were even gonna be going anywhere.
There's also been times that I've been out, like walking through the park and ran into my own kids with their school, not even knowing that they would be there.
Parents do get an email or messages in the online forum (AULA) when kids go on day trips or go outside.
If you are ever visiting Denmark, do not be alarmed if you hear a four-year-old on the playground dropping an F-bomb. It's very normal to hear Danish kids using American curse words, very small kids, which is very jarring. Like I said, sometimes you'll hear around age four and five, and once they're in elementary school, it's pretty much the norm.
“Something I love about Denmark is even though people aren't super outgoing here, everyone is always looking out for each other and each others' children,” Annie added. “If I am ever out with my kids and need a hand, people never hesitate to step in and help. I would love to see that same sense of community in cities all over the US.”
First of all, the actual school day is only from 8 to 1:30 PM.
Secondly, they don't call their teacher, Miss, Mrs. Mr. Ma'am, Sir. They just call them by their first name
If a kid is caught hitting, flipping somebody the bird, using a cuss word, the harshest punishment they're gonna get is probably just the talking to. Things like suspensions and expulsions are only used in extremely extreme cases.
My oldest son is in the US equivalent of the third grade. He just now started getting homework this year, and his homework is to read for 15 minutes a day in whatever book he chooses. He's also never received a grade. I don't know when that starts. Oh, kids here don't start reading until they turn seven, in the US, there's pressure to start reading by five.
I'm not sure if this is true, but since kids here are allowed to buy beer at the store at age 16, I've heard that some high schools serve their students beer in the cafeteria.
The last bit is not true. Unless there is a school party of some sort there is no beer for sale in high schools.
You can't just walk into any old store and buy whatever drug or supplement that you might want or need. And also there are a lot of drugs and supplements in the US that just aren't available here.
For instance, if you need Tylenol or infant Tylenol, which is actually called Panadol here, you have to go to a pharmacy or you can get them behind the counter at grocery stores, but you have to get it from behind the counter in every circumstance. In the US there are just aisles full of drugs in every supermarket.
It’s no surprise that Denmark is one of the world’s safest and happiest nations, especially after hearing a bit more about how they raise their children. We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments as well. If you had the chance, would you raise your kids in Denmark? Or do you wish you had grown up there yourself? If you’d like to keep up with Annie and her family’s adventures in Denmark, you can find her TikTok Annie in Eventyrland right here.
In Denmark, once you start grade school, you take a sports class in the US we would call it PE or physical education. Afterwards, everyone, boys and girls, get completely disrobed and then they all get in a large shower together and it's supervised by their classroom teacher. Whereas in the US, we didn't even change into athletic clothes, and then afterwards, don't change out of our clothes and just go about our day.
Many viewers weighed in with their thoughts on these cultural differences in the comments as well
I'm 70 and in the US. I remember the freedom of summer for kids. Yes, we walked to school too, but in the summer, we weren't allowed to play in the house and mess it up. We were on our own from after breakfast until the street lights came on or it was time for dinner. Did we stay in our yards? Heck no. One kid would light out for a neighboring kid, and they would pick up others until a gaggle of us would converge at some meeting place with other kids. For me, it was the cooling landscape of a swampy marsh that ran through town or a local park. I mourn the sense of safety and independence the younger generations will never know. We learned to take care of ourselves, resolve petty differences and make decisions without the intervention of adults.
My wife and I were just in southern Europe and the most shocking and wonderful thing for me was seeing a full playground at 10 at night with no supervision. The parents were all obviously at restaurants down the street (but completely out of sight) and it was just so clear that there was nothing to worry about.
If you're "scared" to tell your friends something than that's the bigger issue!
If you're scared to tell your friends something I guess you just post it on the internet for them and everyone else to see.
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Letting boys and girls get in a shower together naked? Uh... No!
No, that is misunderstood. Boys and girls have separate locker rooms and showers. Always! And any child or parent expressing discomfort with showering or changing in a group (either boys or girls) is allowed to change and shower privately.
Load More Replies... Northern countries in Europe are safe. They are Finland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Iceland. Sweden has a bit of criminal activity but Finland is really safe even though its next to Russia! You can see kids walking alone at 10 pm because there's no fear of crimes or shootings: you cant carry guns freely.
Sweden just had its far-right party become the 2nd most powerful. Sorry if I decline to put it on a list of "safe" places. When the far-right has any power politically, a country becomes very prone to sh*tstorms. See: US, UK, Brazil, Russia, Hungary, Italy, etc etc etc
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In my country i won't let my 9yeaar old walk alone. Love my country but no way i am ready to take chance, Kidnappings / abductions happens so fast and you would even know where to start looking. SA is a beautiful country, not worth to be neglected me just every person is not a criminal bit i won't risk it.
I wonder how long this 'Anne from Eventyrland' has being living in Denmark. Lot of the things here are not accurate and some are downright false!
Please tell me which ones are false? I'm born in Denmark and been living here all my life. Please enlighten me.
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The f-bomb. 😄 We're from Germany and here it is also quite common, to drop the "f-bomb". We use the "No risk, no fun" phrase, without translating it. My daughter is so familiar with the f-bomb, that she thinks, it's "No risk, no f**k." 🤣 I never correct her, because I think it's hilarious! 😂🤗
Copied from FloC: I'm 70 and in the US. I remember the freedom of summer for kids. Yes, we walked to school too, but in the summer, we weren't allowed to play in the house and mess it up. We were on our own from after breakfast until the street lights came on or it was time for dinner. Did we stay in our yards? Heck no. One kid would light out for a neighboring kid, and they would pick up others until a gaggle of us would converge at some meeting place with other kids. For me, it was the cooling landscape of a swampy marsh that ran through town or a local park. I mourn the sense of safety and independence the younger generations will never know. We learned to take care of ourselves, resolve petty differences and make decisions without the intervention of adults.
I'm with the last person (and im in the US). My house was the party house for yearrrrrs
I have been living in Denmark for25 years now. I came from California and married a Dane. My husband and I are now Guardians if our grandson who was born in California and now lives with us in Denmark. Raising children here us so different. I find that there are not any real consequences for children and the foul language here is tolerated which we find appealing. We live in a small town and because the way kids are raised here I find a total lack of respect for other people's property and people here take it in stride. Bikes especially are routinely taken by children, teens and adults and dumped when they are done riding the stolen bicycle. The children are spoiled and disrespectful and it shows in the classrooms. The liberties given to children here are not just from the way this society functions but also from the laws put on place to protect children's rights. In eight months from now, children at the age of ten can tell the authorities they no longer want to see their parents.
I find your little anecdote incredibly hard to believe, some would say its completely made up
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I'm 70 and in the US. I remember the freedom of summer for kids. Yes, we walked to school too, but in the summer, we weren't allowed to play in the house and mess it up. We were on our own from after breakfast until the street lights came on or it was time for dinner. Did we stay in our yards? Heck no. One kid would light out for a neighboring kid, and they would pick up others until a gaggle of us would converge at some meeting place with other kids. For me, it was the cooling landscape of a swampy marsh that ran through town or a local park. I mourn the sense of safety and independence the younger generations will never know. We learned to take care of ourselves, resolve petty differences and make decisions without the intervention of adults.
My wife and I were just in southern Europe and the most shocking and wonderful thing for me was seeing a full playground at 10 at night with no supervision. The parents were all obviously at restaurants down the street (but completely out of sight) and it was just so clear that there was nothing to worry about.
If you're "scared" to tell your friends something than that's the bigger issue!
If you're scared to tell your friends something I guess you just post it on the internet for them and everyone else to see.
Load More Replies... Letting boys and girls get in a shower together naked? Uh... No!
No, that is misunderstood. Boys and girls have separate locker rooms and showers. Always! And any child or parent expressing discomfort with showering or changing in a group (either boys or girls) is allowed to change and shower privately.
Load More Replies... Northern countries in Europe are safe. They are Finland, Denmark, Norway, Sweden and Iceland. Sweden has a bit of criminal activity but Finland is really safe even though its next to Russia! You can see kids walking alone at 10 pm because there's no fear of crimes or shootings: you cant carry guns freely.
Sweden just had its far-right party become the 2nd most powerful. Sorry if I decline to put it on a list of "safe" places. When the far-right has any power politically, a country becomes very prone to sh*tstorms. See: US, UK, Brazil, Russia, Hungary, Italy, etc etc etc
Load More Replies... In my country i won't let my 9yeaar old walk alone. Love my country but no way i am ready to take chance, Kidnappings / abductions happens so fast and you would even know where to start looking. SA is a beautiful country, not worth to be neglected me just every person is not a criminal bit i won't risk it.
I wonder how long this 'Anne from Eventyrland' has being living in Denmark. Lot of the things here are not accurate and some are downright false!
Please tell me which ones are false? I'm born in Denmark and been living here all my life. Please enlighten me.
Load More Replies... The f-bomb. 😄 We're from Germany and here it is also quite common, to drop the "f-bomb". We use the "No risk, no fun" phrase, without translating it. My daughter is so familiar with the f-bomb, that she thinks, it's "No risk, no f**k." 🤣 I never correct her, because I think it's hilarious! 😂🤗
Copied from FloC: I'm 70 and in the US. I remember the freedom of summer for kids. Yes, we walked to school too, but in the summer, we weren't allowed to play in the house and mess it up. We were on our own from after breakfast until the street lights came on or it was time for dinner. Did we stay in our yards? Heck no. One kid would light out for a neighboring kid, and they would pick up others until a gaggle of us would converge at some meeting place with other kids. For me, it was the cooling landscape of a swampy marsh that ran through town or a local park. I mourn the sense of safety and independence the younger generations will never know. We learned to take care of ourselves, resolve petty differences and make decisions without the intervention of adults.
I'm with the last person (and im in the US). My house was the party house for yearrrrrs
I have been living in Denmark for25 years now. I came from California and married a Dane. My husband and I are now Guardians if our grandson who was born in California and now lives with us in Denmark. Raising children here us so different. I find that there are not any real consequences for children and the foul language here is tolerated which we find appealing. We live in a small town and because the way kids are raised here I find a total lack of respect for other people's property and people here take it in stride. Bikes especially are routinely taken by children, teens and adults and dumped when they are done riding the stolen bicycle. The children are spoiled and disrespectful and it shows in the classrooms. The liberties given to children here are not just from the way this society functions but also from the laws put on place to protect children's rights. In eight months from now, children at the age of ten can tell the authorities they no longer want to see their parents.
I find your little anecdote incredibly hard to believe, some would say its completely made up
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