27 New Year’s Resolutions For People Who Hate New Year’s Resolutions

Every year, we accept dozens of legally binding documents without reading a single line. It is so normal that we rarely give it a second thought. This resolution challenges you to actually read one.

Knowledge builds power, and awareness fuels growth. Sure, the terms might be alarming, but you were going to accept them either way. 

How did we survive before the internet? Now, a mild headache spirals into disaster, and worst-case scenarios take over. We ask that you stop relying on Google as your doctor and prioritize actual medical care instead.

Growth comes from listening to your body and acting before panic takes hold. Close the browser before you diagnose yourself with something rare and terrifying. You’ll protect your peace and probably your sanity too.

Washing clothes is fine. Folding is tolerable. But putting them away? That’s where it all falls apart. This resolution dares you to complete the laundry cycle by defeating the dreaded laundry chair before it takes over your entire room.

Clean clothes left sitting around become symbols of unfinished business. But putting them away offers a tiny, temporary rush of victory. It won’t last, but it might be enough to keep going.

Notebooks always feel like the start of something. Each blank page whispers promises of a better routine and a more productive you. But once the resolution fades, so does the excitement. This goal keeps it simple: no more new notebooks.

Buying more won’t fix anything. Use the ones you have. It might save you money, space, and the disappointment of chasing organization on paper.

Not everything has to be useful. That’s why learning a totally pointless skill feels so good. There’s no pressure, no goal, and no need to be impressive. You can enjoy something for yourself.

In a world that rewards constant productivity, choosing joy for its own sake is bold. You don’t need to monetize it or explain it. Even if no one ever sees your new skill, it’s still yours to keep.

Most people don’t realize how many Chapstick tubes they start and forget. They vanish into cars, coat pockets, and drawers, seemingly never to return. Finishing one from start to finish takes commitment, follow-through, and the rare skill of staying focused.

If you’re setting a resolution, make it one you can actually complete. Even if it means scraping your finger along the bottom to get every last bit.

Leftovers represent the most optimistic version of yourself, but they usually end up tossed out, just like all those abandoned habits. Eating them helps break the cycle.

You don’t need to eat leftovers every day, but doing it even once is transformative. It makes you confront your past decisions and pick up where your former self left off. Who knows? This small win might be your fresh start.

Candles are bought with hopeful intentions, then tucked away for a perfect moment that never seems to come. In reality, they gather dust while we wait. This resolution asks you to light the candle regardless of the occasion.

Watching the wax melt a little each day is a quiet reminder to embrace small joys rather than save them for an imaginary future. 

New Year’s resolutions are usually about making memories, but your photo gallery says otherwise. It’s a cluttered timeline of screenshots, memes you no longer find funny, and blurry vacation shots that looked better in the moment.

This resolution dares you to delete some. Not all, just enough to feel like you’re in charge. You get a quick hit of productivity, a smug sense of control, and the thrill of minimalism without doing much at all.

There was a time when you cared about wellness, productivity hacks, and your inbox. That time has passed, but the emails continue to arrive. Unsubscribing from those old mailing lists helps cut ties with the person you no longer are and gives you one small, powerful win.

For every list you ditch, three more will appear, but the temporary rush of an empty inbox is worth it.

Open tabs are proof of past ambition. Each one represents something you meant to read, research, or revisit. But closing them doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re moving on.

Shut those tabs with purpose. You probably didn’t need the information anyway. A clean browser won’t fix your life, but it will stop your laptop from wheezing.

Letting your phone die ruins your day and creates unnecessary chaos. You don’t have to be perfect, but plugging in a little sooner keeps things running smoothly.

Growth sometimes looks like charging at 10% instead of tempting fate. A small win that saves you a big headache.

Coffee used to be a treat. Now it's a coping mechanism. This year, make a mug, sit down, and actually enjoy it. You might find you like the taste or realize you've only been chasing caffeine.

Take that moment back. Coffee doesn’t have to be your lifeline. Skipping your third cup and sipping your first slowly sets a new tone for the day. Maybe it won’t last, but it shows you can enjoy something without needing it to survive.

Fitted sheets are the archvillains of laundry. Most people will never fold one properly, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. The process demands patience, low expectations, and the strength to laugh when it goes sideways.

Trying is what matters. The result may still be lumpy and awkward, but it proves you were willing to face something difficult.

Napping gets a bad rap. Sleep too long, and you’re groggy. Too short, and it feels pointless. Either way, someone will call you lazy. But napping, done right, takes real skill.

It may not boost productivity, but it just might boost your mood.

Learning a party trick might not be the best use of your time, but it takes minimal effort, doesn’t need to impress anyone, and still delivers.

It also builds confidence and helps you embrace your existing talents. Plus, when the conversation dies, you’ll be ready. It doesn’t have to be flashy. A useless skill is still a skill.

Gardening may be good for the soul, but it also requires time, effort, and commitment. That’s why we suggest sticking to one plant. The stakes are low, and the chances of success are much higher. Just remember it exists.

All it takes is a watering can, a semi-reliable memory, and a quick Google search when things look rough. Even if you don’t make it past January, the attempt still counts.

And if you do? That little sprout becomes a symbol of responsibility you didn’t know you had.

Every home has one: a drawer full of batteries, rubber bands, and things you swore you’d need. It’s where an organization goes to die. But this year, you can fight back. Make clearing it your easiest resolution.

Tossing out the junk won’t change your life, but it gives you the illusion of control. Chaos will return, but next time you’ll be ready.

Takeout menus are charming leftovers from the pre-app era. But now they just fill up drawers and tempt you to order food you weren’t planning to get. This resolution is about cutting the clutter and curbing the cravings.

Tossing them gives you physical space and mental clarity. Let go of the pile. You already know what you’re going to order anyway.

Buying vegetables is a hopeful act. But too often they end up slimy, forgotten, and buried behind last week’s regrets. We challenge you to eat them while they’re still edible—not for health, but to honor your past self who believed you would.

Failure smells. And somewhere in between is a small lesson about timing, effort, and following through.

Clicking “reset password” feels like defeat. This resolution sets the bar low on purpose: just remember one. It’s a small, achievable act of accountability.

Even if you forget it again later, you still met the goal. You logged in without help. That brief sense of competence is what counts.

Odd socks seem quirky, but they’re really just a piece of stubborn cotton. We hold onto them, thinking the match will turn up. It never does. And that drawer full of mismatched pairs just keeps growing.

Throwing them out and buying new pairs is a quiet act of growth. Your feet will stay warmer. Your drawer will thank you.

You may have forgotten the meal, but your microwave hasn’t. We challenge you to open the door and deal with whatever science experiment is growing inside.

A few paper towels and some soap can erase months of procrastination. And honestly, it feels great.

Volume control isn’t a single goal. Realizing your voice carries more than you thought is the first step. You don’t need to whisper. You just need to notice.

Learning to use an inside voice takes time. But it helps with communication, social awareness, and focus. Progress shows up in fewer cringe-worthy moments replaying in your mind at 2 a.m.

Most people only know the chorus. Learning an entire song, start to finish, takes effort. Verses, bridge, everything. No mumbling allowed.

It’s a low-stakes challenge with a fun payoff. That song becomes yours. When it plays, you’ll feel like a star.

New Year’s goals start with a pen. But somehow, every pen you grab is either dry, crusty, or mysteriously missing. This resolution is about having one that actually works when you need it.

A reliable pen is a tiny symbol of readiness. You’ll feel like you’ve got it together, even if you don’t. And when everything else is messy, at least your notes will be legible.

Hot drinks come with a countdown. Most people miss it. Drinking it hot means being present.

Warm drinks don’t last forever. That’s kind of the point.