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“I’m Dating An Idiot”: 18 Funny Moments When People Realized The Person They’re Dating Isn’t Very Sharp
One of the most important aspects of any romantic relationship is to be on the same page with your partner. In terms of your lifestyle. What kind of family you want to build together. Financially. Spiritually. And… intellectually. Many people think that what’s most important is someone’s heart (and we think it is!), but the lack of education and common sense can in some cases put a premature stop to any blossoming feelings of love. Not all the time, but it does happen.
Redditor u/Known-Pop-8355 sparked a lively and utterly hilarious discussion on r/AskReddit after asking people to share their “I’m dating an idiot” moments. We’ve collected some of the funniest stories to share with you, dear Pandas. Scroll down, enjoy, and make sure you’re not eating or drinking anything because you’ll be laughing and facepalming a ton!
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the viral thread, u/Known-Pop-8355, who explained the inspiration behind the question and shared their thoughts on compatibility, as well as relationship red flags.
We also reached out to Steven Wooding, the co-creator of the Drake Equation for Love Calculator for his thoughts on educational gaps in relationships (spoiler alert: they don’t have to be deal-breakers!). Read on for both of our interviews.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Had a girlfriend that tend to throw fits for everything.
One day she spotted me on a restaurant's terrace on my campus having lunch with a lady. She came storming in like a fireball, started to scream at me, started to insult that poor lady she said was old enough to be my mother (come on, you understand already how could she not) and all.
When she finished I just said "So mom, this is X, my ex girlfriend"
My mom still brags about the fact that my ex believed she could pull a guy my age. At least she took it the right way lol
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#2
I mentioned that I might be interested in learning to speak Italian. He kind of scoffed and said, "Why would you need to learn Italian? That's EASY!" Very confused, I said, "What?? Why do you think it's so easy??" He said, "Italian is just American with an accent!" (Yes, he called it "American", not English.) Took me a few beats and then I realized - he thought an Italian ACCENT was the actual language! Like, he thought "I'm-a gonna eat-a the spaghetti and-a meat-a-balls" was actual Italian. I could barely get the words out to explain to him how wrong he was because I was literally on the floor helpless, clutching my stomach laughing - I could not stop for at least a full 10 minutes. He was so mad at me for laughing at him but Jesus Christ, how could I not?? Later that day I snuck his phone and changed his ringtone to that Family Guy bit where Peter is talking jibberish to the Italian guy, thinking he's speaking Italian - "Babada boopie? Beebada boobada babada!" He did not appreciate that, either lol
#3
We went to a science museum and saw a display of a carboniferous swamp and I casually remarked that the land would have been different back then due to plate tectonics. She had never heard that the continents moved so I explained how it worked with plates moving, earthquakes, and volcanoes. She still didn't believe me. So I found the plate tectonics museum display that explained it all. And then she said she was amazed that I had enough pull with the museum to have them set up a display to support my lies.
#4
I went on a couple dates with a woman who owned two large energetic dogs. When she bought them she was informed that she'd need to walk them every day to get them exercise and burn off energy. To save time, instead of walking them she'd take them for a drive and thought that accomplished the same thing.
#5
He put a load of laundry in with mixed colour and whites... poured in bleach to whiten the whites... was shocked that the bleach bleached everything in the load.... I had to explain that the bleach will bleach everything you put in it as the bleach cannot discern what you want bleached or not... he was shocked, truly stunned and flabbergasted
#6
How alcohol content percentage works.
We argued for months that 10% as alcohol content remains the same even if you halved the bottle.
She said nope, if you halved the bottle then the alcohol content would be 5%.
Engineer graduate that too.
She works for a software firm.
For 12 years.
Sigh.
#7
We drove past a windmill on a windy day. She commented how it was too windy out and they should turn the windmill down. She was dead serious...
#8
My ex didnt think it rained over the ocean because there was enough water there already.
She was shocked it rained when we were on a cruise.
#10
She didn’t know how to get to my house from anywhere but her house. Her work was about halfway between my house and hers, but she had to drive home first every time before she could drive to my house.
*this was pre-smart phones
#11
He told me he had a lot of "inventions" and how rich he will be when one sells. I asked him to tell me more. He says his best "invention" is eye drops that (with just one application mind you) eliminate the need for eyeglasses. The guy is a mailman. Not a doctor. Not a scientist. And he wears glasses. So I said "if these eye drops work why do you wear glasses?" The eye drops don't exist yet. But when someone else actually formulates these fantasy eye drops my mailman friend thinks he will get the money because he "invented" them by dreaming them up. EDIT: I dated him very briefly years ago. He didn't have any patents. Just misguided dreams. Nice guy. Just....well a special kind of small former coal mining town kind of idiot.
#12
It was when vampire-related shows and movies were in the height of their popularity. He became obsessed with vampires. When we would go outside, he started to act like the sun was hurting him, and he would shield his face with his hands while groaning in pain. Think of Jim from The Office with his vampire prank... only he was more dramatic... and serious
#13
Dating this gal and we go out on a double date, she's kind of Goofy, but more lacking common sense vs like dumb as a box of rocks.....until that night.
So double date is BBQ, we all order she gets ribs, so we are eating she says what part of the cow is this from? We chuckle, she stares at us all (her sister included), and says "Did you not hear me? What part of the cow does this come from?" We, in unison say, ribs! She responded *"I KNOW THE NAME FROM THE MENU, BUT WHAT PART OF THE COW IS IT??"*
I was done.
#14
He was trying to make cookies and kept opening the oven for extended periods of time, letting out all the heat. When I told him he was letting all the heat out by opening the door wide open and staring at the cookies, he told me I didn't know how ovens work because the temp setter said 400 so it was 400. Took an hour to bake 1 sheet of cookies and said "I don't know why it's taking so long."
Also insisted on doing this on Thanksgiving, tying up my oven and was pissed off when he found out the turkey would take 3hrs to cook. As I'm sure you can imagine... Did not work out.
#15
She would always ignore the idiot lights in her cars, until they broke down. We bought a car that actually tells you when to bring it in for service. She came up to me, really frustrated, complaining about the car being noisy. She said "There's this big flashing message that says "BRING AUTO IN FOR SERVICE" and I can't get it to turn off. What should I do?" This person has a PhD too.
#16
When he left the window open in the middle of summer because the air conditioning made the house too cold. He didn’t turn off the air conditioner and argued that it wouldn’t have made a difference.
Edit: I want to clarify that he argued having the window open wouldn’t make a difference as to how much the AC ran. I got home and the house was warm and very humid. The AC had been running constantly.
#17
Kept telling me not to fall for online scams.
She fell for a scam that was so clearly a scam even a brain-dead monkey could see it was a scam.
She lost 15k and tried to sue everyone who told her it was a scam.
She also thought that when the chefs light the food on fire they add gasoline. She tried to do just that.
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