Divorce is a messy process for all those involved, even for the lawyers handling the case. These individuals are suddenly thrust into complex situations and are expected to remain professional about all the 'he said’s' and 'she said’s' thrown around the courtroom. It’s all in a day’s work but it also results in some stories that shouldn’t really be recounted, but are just too juicy not to share.
In a viral Reddit thread, one user asked lawyers about the most memorable moments in their careers. Answering anonymously and without divulging too much detail, they’ve shared the ones that stood out most and Bored Panda has collected the cream of the crop.
We’ve called our witnesses to the stand to present their sides of the story. From the most ridiculous ones and stuff that you would never believe, judge them for yourself and cast your vote as the jury for the best.
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20+ year divorce lawyer here. I've seen it all.
I once represented a husband divorcing his wife of 35+ years. They were in their late 60s. At mediation they divided up about a half million in assets within 30 minutes. Then they spent 2.5 hours fighting over 2 hurricane glasses from Pat O'Brien's and a pitchfork.
Mediator: "She really wants that pitchfork. It was a gift from her daddy." Husband: "That...B***H! We bought it at Home Depot two years ago!" ...and etc.
They settled at mediation after spending over $1,000 in attorney fees combined for the glasses and pitchfork.
They remarried 3 months later.
A friend of mine did mediation. With one of the first couples het worked for, the furious husband wanted a divorce and give his wife nothing because she had cheated. Turned out that what hurt him most was that she never apologised for it. So the wife says 'Sorry honey". And the husband suddenly goes: "Ofcourse I forgive you silly." They remained married and send my a friend a x-mas card every year.
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Bored Panda spoke to one of the top divorce lawyers in the United States—James J. Sexton, Esq. Described by former clients as a “courtroom gunslinger” and “the sociopath you want on your side”, his expertise in the law is matched only by his counsel for relationship advice.
His best-selling book If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late recounts the cases he’s handled and offers unique insights into how married couples can maintain their relationships before they end up in his office as a client. Though he deals constantly with the heartbreak of others, he still believes in romance and the transformative power of love.
In our interview, I asked if James could share a courtroom story or some relationship advice to our readers. Understandably, he said, “Sorry, I would be doing you (and my publisher) a disservice to try to summarize that in a few sentences. I wrote a whole book on it!” So, you should get a copy for yourself if you want to know more.
Colleague handled a case where money was not an issue but the kids were. Neither parent wanted them.
They shouldn't have kids if they dont like kids, ffs. Now idk what will happen to them. Even if they do take care of their children it won't be good considering how much they dislike them
Load More Replies...I am so tired of people popping out kids because "It's what you're supposed to do" and not because they truly want them and to raise them to be successfully balanced adults. I love it when either my roommates or I are told we're being selfish for not having any kids. No, we know ourselves and know that we don't want to be responsible for a child. I don't find that unreasonable, for we live in a VERY not child friendly home. One of my big reasons for having an age limit of children that can come over is we have quite the collection of glass pieces and we smoke marijuana on a (normally) daily basis. Do we smoke when there are kids here? NOPE, not unless we're safely outside and away from them. The problem I don't want to run into is having a small child get away from the adults and end up getting into and finding something they shouldn't. I REFUSE to be responsible for that happening. The parents can explain about all then when they're older if they choose.
If we hadn't actually ended up raising ourselves with a s**t home life maybe we'd me more willing to have kids, but me personally I don't want to pass these genes on period, and my roommate enjoys her career too much and doesn't want to stop to have children. The bonus for me is I'm Momma Jess, I mother everybody, I don't NEED my own biological children :P
Load More Replies...You‘re presuming they didn‘t want kids from the beginning. Maybe they did want them but then got annoyed when they realised that raising children is more work than they expected.
Load More Replies...If they dont want them its probably for the best when neither gets them, for whatever reason they dont want them.
Been there. I ended up in foster care after being stuck with a drunken, violent father. People suck.
Same, but both "parents", only to getting adopted by equally toxic and warped "people" with kids in the same category.
Load More Replies...No doubt that the children's behavior was a result of their upbringing and environment. It's likely that they'd be better of with neither parent.
One of our clients thought his wife was having an affair. She would actually just go driving around for hours of the night playing Pokémon Go.
They still got divorced.
But if they had played together they could have hit level 40 no problem. Just think of the trades . 😀
She was playing the pokemon because he wasn't giving her the poke... man. 😅 Okay I'll show myself out now.
Becoming a lawyer requires one of the longest processes to become qualified. It typically takes seven years to complete and even then, you still have to prove your mettle. I asked James about his experience in first becoming a lawyer and he told Bored Panda, “I loved it since the day I started. First, I was a psychology major, then, I got my M.A. and was working on my PhD in cultural anthropology.”
But like a lot of young people going through their studies, he set his sights onto a new path after discovering what he enjoyed most and where his strengths lay. “I realized my skills at debate and extemporaneous speaking could help more people as a divorce lawyer than as a professor, so I went to law school. I hated law school but I've loved every day of being a divorce lawyer for the last 20 years. It's the best job ever in my opinion, at least for me.”
Paralegal. A couple got divorced over a cat. Wife called cat Snowball because of white fur and only wanted the cat to eat wet food or chicken breast. Husband called cat Lily again because of white fur and believed it should only eat dry food. These two argued for a year over custody of the cat but did not give a s**t about their human kids aged 15 months, 4 years, and 6 years old.
I’m thinking there were deeper issues here??? Just a guess. Could be wrong.
White cats are often deaf. Wonder if the cat could even hear the humans arguing over her
That's mainly only if they have different colour eyes also
Load More Replies...Well, the only thing we know about their priorities are that ... nothing! They might just happen to be able to agree about the children, but not about the cat. People can be reasonable and mad at the same time, just like everyone has something to them that sucks, and many people have something good about them. Maybe they agreed that, for the kids' sake, they're not gonna fight over them, but took all their anger that may have erupted there, and, spit it out when it came to the cat. Also, most cats do have one favourite human, not two or three, one. This human will likely be with whom they live the happiest among the given choices, so she maybe should be the one to decide. Or the kids loved the cat - who has her, is the place they love...?
I would put the parents and the kids all in a big circle and let the cat choose who she wants to live with. Or try to find out with whom the cat spends the most time, sleeps with and interacts with but I doubt they wold be honest about that
Load More Replies...Yeah - the cat's feelings, I think, weren't taken into account that much here. People like that are sickening...
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Friend of mine divorced his then wife because she would only speak French when her family would come over. She was Spanish, as was her family....
To add, her family spoke English, French and Spanish, he could only speak Spanish and English, she got bored of being married to him, her family basically talked s**t about him whilst he was there, was only when he recorded a conversation whilst they where there and got it translated he found out what was going on.
"her family basically talked s**t about him whilst he was there" ... Lack of respect sounds like a good enough reason for divorce.
How terrible to have to go to that trouble to get the truth about something happening right in front of you. But I’m also petty enough to learn how to say “f* you, you hateful entitled c*nt” in French to let her know I was on to her “merde”.
This wife was childish and so was her family. If you to talk crap about your spouse then why are you with them.
Why would she stay married to him, then? Why not have gotten divorced way before that?
Possibly for the green card or maybe he was well off?
Load More Replies...Hard to talk s**t behind someone's back in whatever language and keep a straight face! Poor Guy.
In James’ experience, the role of a divorce lawyer can be defined in different ways, depending on how you look at it. James said, “The ‘public’ answer would be to assist our clients in identifying the legal issues presented in their case, help them understand their rights and obligations under applicable law, and thereafter help them figure out what they ‘want’ in the divorce.”
“This is usually informed by what they're entitled to, as there can be almost no limits to what someone might ‘want’ and, thus, it's nice to have it tethered to what they might reasonably expect to accomplish.”
I worked as a paralegal for a divorce lawyer. Case analysis was one of my main responsibilities.
I s**t you not.
A recently married couple (of 2 years) broke it off because the husband would not stop feeding the dog. The dog got outrageously fat.
Apparently she saw connection between the dog and future children
Well done divorcing that nutcase... Have pets and kids with someone who shows some responsibility and care
This is probably one happy story - no children were involved. A while back, I read a comment from a woman whose husband kept giving their children junk food. She was considering breaking up the marriage over this. In another case, a man wanted full custody of his two very young (under 5 years old) overweight children because his ex-wife was overfeeding them. I think this woman saw the future and dodged a compulsive and irresponsible bullet.
Load More Replies...But...but...that almost NEVER happens on BP! ;-)
Load More Replies...I think that's a very good reason to divorce someone, if they cannot properly look after a creature that depends on them for their life.
Not to mention his sheer lack of regard for his wife's concerns about the issue.
Load More Replies...I agree with the wife. If he is overfeeding the dog, there's no telling if he will overfeed the children.
Not me, but a friend my mum has divorced her husband because his mother still coddled him at age 40, with his consent. They lived with his mother (common in Asia).
By coddle I mean that she would walk straight into their room after his shower and powder his back for him.
They couldn’t lock their bedroom door because his mother would come in as and when she wanted. If they locked the door, she would knock repeatedly asking what they were doing.
Lol what would they be possibly doing??? Playing poker???
And probably the MIL complained that she didnt have grandkids yet...
Load More Replies...How do you get to the stage of marrying someone without noticing this issue already?
Arranged marriage are still common in asia
Load More Replies...She probably didn't expect her mother-in-law to act like a means of birth control.
Load More Replies...Let me guess: she also is complaining that she hasn't a grand-child yet?
In most parts of Asia, Talcum powder is common as it's moisturise your skin prevent sweating.
Load More Replies...I’d purposefully make it so awkward.. she’d have to either get out or be ok with seeing some serious stuff she don’t wanna see.
This type of mother son relationship is not and will never be normal. It's just creepy.
"In reality," James explains, "much of our job is to protect clients from themselves. We have to see their case objectively: from both their 'side' and from that of their spouse (or, their spouse's counsel, who I always imagine is a smarter and harder-working version of myself, just to be safe and keep me sharp)."
"We help them identify what's an emotional issue and what's a legal issue. To help them understand that, ultimately, getting divorced is fairly awful, but a post-divorce life can be fulfilling. More so if you don't set fire to everything you have in an attempt to 'hurt' the other side for hurting you."
Had a husband and wife go toe to toe over an ashtray they got in Vegas at some point (neither smoked strangely enough). Spent nearly $5,000 for me an another attorney to duke it out in court over the silly thing. Prior to proceeding, I explained what the cost would be for to argue over something silly like this and that he could give me $2,500 and I would fly to Vegas for the weekend and get him an identical one instead. He said he didn't care about the costs because he intended to smash it on the courthouse steps in front of her if we won. We won and he followed through with the smashing. He laughed and said the look on her face was worth much more than $2,500. People get crazy in divorce proceedings!
I'd like to know the series of events that lead to this. It does sound like one of the parties has pushed the other over the limit to play a game of "lose lose".
Load More Replies...She had a lucky escape. He might have won the ashtray, she got her freedom from an asshole.
My thoughts exactly. She's way better off without this scumbag.
Load More Replies...Interesting comment field. All the ladies are calling him petty, pathetic, childish. All the men are wondering what she did to him to go full on Chernobyl over an ashtray of all things!
Both were there trying to fight over an ashtray... I think they´re pretty much the same at that point.
Load More Replies...My dad literally stabbed him and my moms wedding album with a knife before giving to her. It is scary and sad how insane people can get.
Load More Replies...The fact that he only wanted the ashtray for this reason is very telling about what kind of person he is.
It says a lot indeed. Imo it is also one of the few reasons why some men argue about kids custody, to hurt the mother. They have never showed any responsibility or interest in childrearing and suddenly they want the custody...
Load More Replies...He wanted this ashtray just to spite his ex wife. That is just really really sad.
Took the couple two hours to decide who would get the groceries left in the fridge. Estimated value of the groceries was around $40. Two hours of my time, opposing counsel time, and mediator time added up to about $1,000. It all came down to a Costco/Sam's Club sized jar of peanut butter. (Who keeps peanut butter in the fridge?!)
It’s a power thing. It’s so they feel like they’ve ‘won’. 🙄
Load More Replies...Who puts peanut butter in the fridge? People who eat pure peanut butter that has ingredients of "peanuts" that's it (well maybe salt too). Pure peanut butter can last a while in the cupboard, depending on the temperature, but not too long. If you don't go through it fast, or if you don't have AC in the summer... you will want to put it in the fridge.
Peanut butter that's just plain peanuts (no sugar)should be refrigerated or it will go rancid.
My ex and I broke up over a nightlight 🤷♀️ our baby didnt use one, his mum bought one and he wanted to use it, I said no because our baby was a good sleeper I didn't want to interfere with that. But really, it wasn't about the nightlight. That was just the final straw
What's that old saying "for every pot, there's a lid" . Sounds like they were perfectly suited. (Also, natural peanut butter should be refrigerated so it doesn't separate)
Does peanut butter not get kept in the fridge? I thought they all said “refrigerate after opening”? Or maybe that’s just a Europe vs America thing, like eggs.
Being a divorce lawyer (or any lawyer, for that matter) forces you to think pragmatically. James explained more about the work and the need to distance yourself occasionally. He said, "We try to think strategically and dispassionately about the incredibly important issues our clients trust us with. And most of our time is spent arguing with our own client who, ultimately, is paying us an exorbitant amount of money to facilitate the divorce process that feels like the most awful experience ever to them."
James continued about the many hard roles he takes on, but it's all worth it to him. He explained further, "We tell people things they don't want to hear but often need to hear. We wake up thinking about them and go to bed thinking about them. We, much of the time, are attempting to do the impossible for the ungrateful. That being said: I love my job."
I'm not a divorce lawyer, but when I was at a mediation a few months ago, the mediator was telling me about a divorce he mediated a few years back. It was your classic "rich guy is sick of his wife and kids, and wants a divorce to run off with a young, hot piece of ass."
His wife wanted blood. She came to the mediation with some pretty outrageous demands about the money and property she'd receive. The mediator pushed hard throughout a long day of mediation, but she hadn't budged an inch. Finally, very late in the day, the husband threw up his hands and said, 'f**k it--give her everything she's asking for and let's be done with it.'
The mediator went back to the wife's conference room to share the good news that the husband had caved in, and she FLIPPED THE F**K OUT, glowing incandescent with rage at the idea that her husband was willing to pay truly insane compensation to be done with her and ride off with his little girlfriend.
He's still a douchebag for wanting to leave his wife and kids for a younger woman.
Well, the young woman is an idiot, too. One thing they don't realise is, as they grow older, they too become expendable. He'll just get another, even younger, woman.
Load More Replies...This is a little like when bars that are obligated to serve some sort of food put an outrageous pricetag on like a handful of peanuts or something, obviously not expecting anyone to pay it. I'm guessing she was hoping to stall him to be able to potentially talk it out, which is not an excellent tactic, but man, it must sting.
Or maybe she wanted to brutally punish him and he essentially said that staying in the marriage was worse than her punishment.
Load More Replies...I'm not understanding her reasoning. It sounds like she wanted him to decide keeping her was cheaper than getting rid of her and give up on leaving. That doesn't change the fact that he didn't want to be with her any more. I don't think I could bear to be with him after that. It sounds miserable. The damage is done and irrevocable.
That does remind me of a scene in the movie "A bronx tale" by and with De Niro. “It costs you $20 to get rid of him.” Well, maybe a lot more in this case, but still.
Love that movie! Do you know Calogero (Lillo Brancato) went to prison for armed robbery? What a damn shame.
Load More Replies...I think it might have less to do with the younger woman and more to do with just paying any price to be free of someone who makes you miserable.
So she didn’t budged cos she was hoping to force his hand back to her. That’s sad really.
Had a GF who had this happen(after the kids went off to college). She got $12M in cash and the house in CO ($4M) and after 2yrs I totally understood why he wanted out.
Why do men want younger women, when in fact older know how to take care of a men in every way, experience goos long way, younger women don't fall in love with older men ; just their $$$
They are called, Trophy Wives, and everyone just giggles at him behind his back. Meanwhile, the young wife is cuckholding him.
Load More Replies...By making the demands, she put the price on the marriage, he just caved in and paid it
She thus wanted to force someone to love her or at least stay with her ? Seriously, like that ever would have worked out well.
A 46-year marriage ended because his old high school girlfriend was single again. I later learned that the guy married the old girlfriend the same day his divorce was finalized
What the husband was seeking was not his past girlfriend but his young self, such a shame to disappoint so many.
Load More Replies...How to tell your wife she was the backup choice, without saying "you were the backup choice"
This man is a despicable human being and I hope his ex wife finds happiness with someone who appreciates her for her and not because she is the second option.
This is ridiculous to me. The guy is going on the feelings he had so long ago. He has changed, his girlfriend has too. There's no way the experience is going to be identical. More likely, he wants to recapture the way he felt at eighteen, which is an exercise in futility.
Friend of mine got divorced. Bought a house with someone else. Happy ever after. Nope, left his second wife as soon as his high school girlfriend was single again.
He explained further and used a metaphor to describe his daily work: "Every divorce is a multivariate equation. It's a chess match with real-life consequences. All divorce lawyers, like all chess players, know the same 'moves' and are simultaneously attempting to 'attack' and 'defend'."
"The best of us see 5-10 moves ahead. The worst of us are like our clients, who usually just see the most obvious move on the board and want to 'win' whatever 'piece' can be taken at that moment—even if it walks us right into the other side's checkmate."
But it's all in days work for James and many of the other lawyers who have shared their stories here. When all is fair in love and war, it takes someone with both knowledge of the law as well as a human touch to ensure that divorce issues can be resolved successfully.
worked as courtroom clerk/front desk when i was in college, a couple argued on the custody details on their son, i thought it was the normal "i wont let you see him you piece of s**t", but the mom wants the dad to spend more time during holidays together - all 3 of them, and the dad wants to do the same, just more frequently. they ended up reconciled and agreed to couples therapy before the divorce procedure went further. then they came back a month later to withdraw the divorce proceeding.
It sounds like they both realized it is no longer just about them when kids are involved. Unfortunately far too many don't realize this.
On the flip side it also isn't wise to just stay together for the kids.
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Had a client whose soon-to-be-ex-husband used her email address and phone number to sign her up for every bank, loan, religious, mental illness site he could think of. She was bombarded by people contacting her about her interest in their product/services.
He even put out ads for sex partners on Craigslist with her information. The kicker is that she actually went out with a guy who contacted her!
If I learned anything being a divorce attorney (I no longer practice), it was that if the opposing party sounded like a nutcase, I would soon see the nutcase come out of my own client. Normal people don't just accidentally marry crazies (not often)!
Yep, where I’m from doing what that husband did is illegal and he’d go to jail. She had a lucky escape.
Load More Replies...This is not always true, my ex husband turned bat s**t after I filed, I gave him EVERYTHING all I wanted was him to sign the papers and get my name back. Nope not good enough . He stole my car (community property state couldn't do anything about it) he turned off every single utility that had his name on it... in the summer .... when my son had seizures. He tried to cancel my car insurance but thank God the agent hated his guts and called me to "verify" reported my phone stolen even though OUR phones and OUR bill came out of MY account. He tried to get alimony lmao and the list goes on and on. We had NO property, no kids together, no nothing, all he had to do was sign the papers, take everything I gave him which was everything I didn't bring into the relationship and go. But nope....
Normal people generally don't realize that they've married an abuser until it's too late.
years ago it was just put someones phone number on a toilet wall offering services things have changed!
The thing is though, people do marry crazies, because crazies often don't take their mask off until after the wedding. They hide behind a convincing facade of perfect normality and only reveal their true selves once their victim is too trapped to escape easily.
Except a lot of crazy is hidden behind a smiling facade of apparent reasonableness that will drive anyone crazy if they have to deal with long enough.
On the day of a divorce trial involving adultery grounds, the opposing counsel produces photos of my client (the husband) wearing lingerie and a long brown wig. In the photo, he's blowing another dude. I successfully exclude this from evidence on the grounds of relevance because the wife was the photographer.
There are interesting highlights but lots and lots of long and boring bits.
Load More Replies...She's going to try to use photos that she took as evidence that he was cheating on her. Unless she took this picture from outside their bedroom in a bush, I don't think she has much of a case.
I don't believe this from an evidentiary standpoint. It is a domestic case and she can give evidence. And, regardless of who was blowing who, it is proof of his infedelity.
I agree. The photograph was relevant. The argument is 'condonation.' The wife condoned the adulterous act.
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I was involved in a case where a lady was pursuing a case for 'unreasonable behavior.' Her then-husband would stand at the foot of the bed, drop his pants, then bend over to step out of them, sit on the bed, then slide up when going to bed. She had noticed that after a couple of days, brown streaks would appear.
When she showed her husband 'the evidence,’ he stated, 'Those are scorch marks from ironing!' She proceeded to remove said scorch marks with a damp cloth, saying, 'Scorch marks do not wipe off!' This brought some laughter in the court, especially when the gentleman admitted that he used only a small amount of toilet paper because his 'poo was always hard and never runny
A while ago someone had compiled a collection of posts from reddit's relationship advice section and they were all about issues like this. Apparently there are a lot of men who don't wash their butt inbetween the cheeks because "that's gay".
The amount of adults who don't seem to have mastered wiping their own arses properly astounds me.
I like sleeping naked, but I always shower first. This is disgusting
My friend taught her kids "wipe until Mr. Brown leaves town" 😂😂😂
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We once had a case where the husband and wife decided to start having a threesome with their friend. Then they both fell in love with her and started sleeping with her separately behind each other’s backs.
"The whole thing blew up when the husband got her pregnant."
Surely you'd just be honest and have a three-way relationship over lying and cheating?
But did she choose the husband or the wife to help raise the kid? *eats popcorn*
For those that are not in the know, Fornicating is to produce children of various descriptions.
Not me but my friend who specialises in family law. Wife wanted to divorce husband because he kept taking their dogs for walks while she was at work, making it (unintentionally) so they’d rather cuddle the husband instead of her after a long day.
Someone was deeply insecure. She should have been happy to have a husband walk the pets so she didn't have to
Or also walk the dogs. It's not as if dogs don't want more walks.
Load More Replies...I guess I kinda understand feeling bummed about your pets not missing you, but this sounds to me like there is a bigger underlying issue. Idk the situation ofc, but I'm thinking something like maybe she asked him nicely multiple times not to do it, and it's more about the husband not listening or honoring a request...?
post says unintentionally. Sounds like he was just being a good dog owner and she was being immature
Load More Replies...My at-the-time girlfriend got all bitter that her cat seemed to like me more, would lay with me, etc... after my GF had gone to Japan for a month with her new boyfriend (I gave my consent for an open relationship, but she came back and dumped me). Previously, she had gone to France for a month. And she would go out for hours after work. I mean, yeah, I’m the one there with the cat the most. I’m the warm body on the bed with the cat. I’m literally doing the cat care. What do you expect? Relationships require actual investments in presence and affection.
My client had a son named Snoop Frog and neither parent wanted custody.
That's just so weird to me. In my country (Poland) you can't just name your kid whatever you want. You have a list of normal names, you can try for something "foreign" like Jessica, Brian etc., but if the clerk decides that I he name is stupid/offensive/is not an actual name (i.e Delta, Storm, Rain), they won't register the child's name. The will refuse to register your child until you come up with a normal name (which there are thousands of). It baffles me that you can name a child sth like "Snoop Frog" or "X Æ A-Xii" like Elon Musk did. IT'S NOT A NAME.
Load More Replies...Not wanting the child doesn't mean that there was actually any genuine neglect to speak of, though clearly it's far from ideal for the poor child. It's awful to read about children being unwanted. I have relatives who work in family law and a friend who works in the courts - children being unwanted is not as uncommon as we'd all like it to be. It's one of the reasons why I get really fed up with people making statements like 'parents always want the best for their children' and 'parents know best'. Most might, all do not. It's heartrending.
Load More Replies...When I was in the hospital after having my daughter I got chummy with one of my nurses. She told me a bunch of wild stories of her time in the trenches, and one that has always stuck out to me was the one where this drug addicted woman gave birth and knew her baby was going to be taken away, but before she went to jail for it she named him, officially and legally incontestably: BigSexxxy. I don’t know if that story is sad or funny.
If this story is true, how is it okay to publish? Again, if it's true, somewhere out there is one (probably) kid with that name who has now had it announced to the world that neither of his parents wanted him. Change the name to protect the innocent (unless you already did.)
I knew a guy from a high school job who divorced his wife of 2 months because she would sleep with a nightlight but he could only sleep in total darkness, as they apparently never lived together until after getting married. He hated her nightlight so much that he would often sleep on the couch instead, but sometimes he would claim the bed for himself and lock her out of the bedroom for the night.
This was an eccentric late 40s man working at a burger king who acted like all the other high school coworkers were his best chums, and often told us these weird stories. I'm glad I don't work with him anymore.
Separate bedrooms never occurred to anyone? Locking her out of the bedroom is very juvenile, though it sounds like this guy had issues anyway
I'm guessing you're not swinging multiple bedrooms on Burger King pay.
Load More Replies...Yeah. I would say minimum 6 months living together before commiting, fully moving and regustering as a couple.
Load More Replies...There are some quite excellent sleep masks on the market that are totally opaque, I think this guy just chose the nightlight as his hill to die on.
I had a exboyfriend i dumped because he was somewhat weird: all his doors in his house were those kind of indoor doors with a glaspannel. He removed the glas because he found it easier to step through them then to actuall use the handle. He couldnt fall asleep unless there were two hairdriers next to his bed switched on, blowing hot air towards the bed the whole night long. He is a rather successfull cator now. Weird guy.
Just wear a freakin' sleep mask! That relationship was destined for doom, clearly.
If it’s really that big a problem can’t he just use a sleeping mask?
All he had to do was either put on a sleep mask or turn it off after she had dozed off. Either way, be an adult about it.
My dad was a divorce lawyer. He had a client who wanted to divorce her husband for 2 reasons:
He did not have enough hair on his chest.
He did not drive fast enough.
Keep in mind this was in the 70's when chest hair was a bit more important.
And she didn’t check if he exhibited those very important traits before she married him?
She was hoping for him to change but he was set in his ways!
Load More Replies...1: My wife dislikes any and all body hair, and regularly laments that it increases as I grow older. 2: Let's not even go there.
Divorce lawyer here. One client filed for divorce because he owed his bookie $70,000. He didn't want to leave his wife but he figured he would get half the house in the divorce, which was worth $700,000 and pay his debts. He had already blew through their life savings gambling. He was the worst guy.
Sounds like she was well to be rid of him and protect her own financial future.
Smart move would have been to give her everything in the divorce, declare bankruptcy and then remarry. (Assuming a legal bookie not someone who’d kneecap you for failure to,pay.)
If he owed a bookie, and blew through their joint life savings, he doesn't deserve half of anything. A state law may say differently, I don't care. He just doesn't deserve that and the wife shouldn't have to deal with that or him. Let her keep it all, whether she sells the house or not. Let him deal with the bookie, he should have known better. What a chump.
I find it rather disturbing that an attorney has such poor grammar ("had ... blew" instead of "had ... blown"). OTOH, the lawyer who inspired me to become a lawyer used to say, "You done real good!" On the OTHER other hand...he inspired me to become a lawyer because I took his business law class and thought, "If this guy can become a lawyer, I certainly can." Before then, I'd always thought lawyers were far smarter than I.
At my last firm, a couple did their will with our firm. They were married 40 years total, divorced, and remarried once. The husband wanted us to put in his will that his kids get his entire estate but did not want us to tell his wife. He wanted to make a secret will and a fake will. The phony will would be signed with her present, and then it would be shredded. He would later come in to sign the 'real will.' He copied his wife on the email that had all of this information disclosed in it. Two weeks later, he called us and said he wanted to file for divorce instead
Not from what I understand. When they make you sign a will, there is normally a clause that says the will you are signing is the true will and all others are null and void. So by signing the one for the kids second, it would nullify the will previously leaving everything to the wife. It's shady as all hell and you could even call it unethical, but it's not fraud because it's 100% legal.
Load More Replies...Have one like this in the financial world. When working as a state regulator there was an institution that was holding mail for a VP and several other customers. Asked the compliance officer if there was any policy or procedures for holding mail and she stated they don't hold mail. Wrote in my report presented to the board that no mail should be held going forward. Next year I went back for my annual review to find out the VP quit shortly after I left last year. Mail went to his house and his wife opened it. Wanted to know why they had a loan for a vehicle that wasn't parked at their house.
Taught the parakeet certain cuss words for his wife. Hahaha. The parrot lives with the man now.
In the US we call them parakeets. It is the same animal.
Load More Replies...I don't believe in screwing people over in a divorce, but when it comes to my birds.... watch out I will fight to the death over my feather babies.
Parakeets are adorable when they talk! I was teaching Chipper both "peek a boo" and "i love you" once. A friend came over and went to say hi to him. He hopped over and cheeped "PEEK YOU!".
I saw a video once where a parrot at the zoo was soaking up the crowd. He suddenly yelled SUCK MY D*CK real loud. I dunno what sicko would teach that to a zoo parrot.
parakeets are parrots just like pigeons are doves
Load More Replies...
My mom is a family law lawyer, and she told me that a man divorced his wife after she broke her jaw in a car accident because she could no longer give head
The women likely married him for financial stability. So not exactly better off without him
Load More Replies...I bet he's the kind of person who wouldn't return the favor and go down on her.
And he couldn't think of any other way to get himself off involving her???
Was a loud chewer at the dinner table. He developed a complex & literally needed out as he couldn't bear to eat with her.
I can relate to that. Not sure if it's worthy of divorce but man I cant stand to hear someone smacking their lips
100% reason to not marry in the first place? I mean I get it, I cant stand loud chewing noises either, but they sure ate together before?
Misophonia, a phenomenon first described in the audiology literature, is characterized by intense emotional reactions (e.g., anger, rage, anxiety, disgust) in response to highly specific sounds, particularly sounds of human origin such as oral or nasal noises made by other people (e.g., chewing, sniffing, slurping, lip smacking). Misophonia is not listed in any of the contemporary psychiatric classification systems. Some investigators have argued that misophonia should be regarded as a new mental disorder, falling within the spectrum of obsessive-compulsive related disorders.
Misophonia...its a serious phobia many people suffer from, lucky he didn't kill her
Yep. The inner hairs of my ears tickle my ear canal and make me want to crawl out of my skin. I have to move from whoever is chewing. I once had a panic attack at a restaurant when I couldn't get away fast enough.
Load More Replies...I hate to hear someone eating and it sounds like an otter chewing the head off a dead fish.
My stepson would always scrape his fork against his front teeth as he pulled it out of his mouth. Like fingernails on a chalkboard, but more metal sounding. He wouldn't stop when asked to either. My SIL, his aunt, is a dentist, and she told him over time, he'll damage his teeth. He didn't care and just liked the sound and liked annoying people.
My husband is a loud eater. It makes me almost physically ill to hear him swallowing food or water. I hate that sound and often have to distract my mind with either reading, watching or putting on some background noise. Quite often I go and eat elsewhere.
I ended a date early because she was a loud chewer. Why on earth do you get all the way to the altar?
So... there's this crazy thing called communication.. where you can simply ask them to stop. I know, crazy, right?!?! And if they refuse to stop or don't bother to make an effort, it shows a character flaw.
I worked for a law firm while in college and we had a client who had just come home from a two week vacation with his wife only to be served with divorce papers and a temporary restraining order as soon as they pulled in the driveway. Wife didn't say a word and just went into their house. Poor guy came straight to our office and was massively confused, to say the least.
You see she took him on vaca just to get him out of the house & serve him. Cold. Frigid. Brrr.
Load More Replies...Was the wife forcefully coerced into the vacation or afraid of angering the husband by not going? If so, this is understandable. If not, it's very, very hard to believe she was granted a restraining order.
He may have abused her before or even during the vacation to warrant the restraining order.
Load More Replies...My parents went skiing with some friends, and the day after they got back my dad announced that he was leaving us for another woman.
I am curious as to how one can have a restraining order granted/served on the person you just spent 2 weeks with on a vacation. That doesn't seem very serious? Maybe she just wanted to scare him, or see what she can get away with? Use it to get what she wants? Someone like that makes me wonder if they're lying or would make more serious, false accusations, to get what they wanted. (Abuse, adultery, etc.)
Holidays are often the last straw according to my relatives who work in family law - just after Christmas and summer holidays are peak times for divorce proceedings to be started. Probably brings things to a head. This was a cold way of doing it though.
Load More Replies...the last vacation I went on with my 1st husband made me sure I needed to leave and I planned my escape the moment we got back. This was the 80s before cell phones and internet so I couldn't do anything during.
Not a lawyer, but as a courthouse clerk, I had a court order come across my desk that explicitly banned a father from playing Minecraft with his son over the internet because the ex-wife alleged that the in game chat was a form of improper contact that wasn't outlined in their custody/visitation plan.
Kinda depends on the how restrictive the custody agreement was and why.
Load More Replies...I've seen custody battles like this. It's never about the kid. It's about punishing the other parent. That kid will remember that when they get older....
I know a couple who divorced because the guy played World of Tanks all the time and didn't spend any time with their baby...
I'm a bonus dad and if my wife tried to pull something like this against my sons' birth dad it would be a huge argument. Not a huge fan of the guy and he's absent way more than he is there but he does love them and they love him. Sometimes that's the only way they can connect
I worked in a law firm, and we had a divorce case where the husband and wife were first cousins. They knew each other their whole lives and married late in life to each other. He then cheated on her with his stepdaughter from his first marriage
sounds like "I broke up with my boyfriend but he said we can still be cousins" kind of a family
Thought I was hearing this guy starting to play ... deliveranc...750fae.jpg
Cousin marriage is illegal in West Virginia despite the stereotype
Load More Replies...Tell me you're from the South without telling me you're from the South.
First cousins is no more harmful genetically than having kids at 40. You just dont want to KEEP doing it.
My father did divorce law for many years.
We were in Virginia Beach for a tournament I was in with a friend of mine and his father. This is back around 07
My dad got a call from a forensic accountant he hired to track down some accounts his client knew her husband stashed money in. He was asked to pull over and to put him on speaker because he would not believe what he was about to tell him. The accountant traced all of his money to 3 bank accounts totaling over $300 million in another country.
My friend's father screamed, my father dropped his phone and there were numerous "WTF!!!" From the back seat.
My father's client made out with 2 of the 3 accounts and they walked away silently. He was paid in full, given a small bonus and has never heard from her again.
Don't know why you got downvotes; people get confused sometimes... Lawyer's client knew her husband was stashing money somewhere but didn't know where. Lawyer hired forensic accountant to find the secret accounts. Accounts were found and had $300 000 000 in them (!). The whole 'friend's father' thing is just extra colour and can be ignored, story-wise, i.e. if you just read paragraphs 3 and 5 you should find it less confusing.
Load More Replies...As a lawyer, this is disturbing to me. There's no way that confidential conversation should have been on speakerphone. In fact, it's such a blatant attorney-client privilege violation I have to wonder whether this is made up. (If he's pulling the car over, anyway, why would it need to be on speakerphone?) Hmmm...interesting...when I clicked "POST," instead of posting, my browser opened a tab to a new web page selling something. I'm finding this post very fishy.
Couldn't he have gotten disbarred or at least sanctioned for this?
Load More Replies...I do wish subjective and objective was taught in US schools. Cannot make out who whom.
Made out with the money (kiss kiss) or Off with the money (kseeya byr)?
Sorry. Couldn’t follow that. Better to use fictional names rather then fathers friend, fathers client, etc. Too hard to figure out who’s who.
The husband's statement of property listed all the food in the kitchen as of the date of separation, complete with estimated values for each item. ("Campbell's vegetable soup - $0.79")
We weren't married, but lived together. When me and my ex got separated, I just wanted to divide the stuff and be done with it. He insisted that we calculate the current market value for everything. And I'm talking about cheap, Ikea type stuff. He ended up paying me and was so pissed. 🤷🏻♀️
Might be a case of someone freaking out and channeling all of their energy into this one thing that they could control.
I work for a mortgage company and occasionally we have to review divorce decrees if someone is divorcing to remove a spouses name from the loan. There is a notorious case known around my pretty large department as the " cat divorce decree" account. In this divorce decree, there is a 5 page addendum specifically regarding Mittens and Buttons Johnson (names changed for their protection). Memorable clauses included: mandatory 10 minute Skype sessions weekly, no unsupervised play dates with children under 15, and that their claws be trimmed every 3 days.
Claws trimmed every three days? I don't have a cat, but that seems excessive.
I am glad that the OP protected these two innocent cats' identities. I would hate for someone to recognize these furry creatures and make fun of them.
Lawyer here. One of mine that sticks out is that the husband and wife both played some sort of on-line role-playing game, sort of like the Sims I think but a little more elaborate and adult ('Second Life' maybe?). I don't know anything about online games. The wife got heavily involved with the game, like 10 hours a day, and wouldn't reduce her time playing no matter what he said. What tipped things over the edge however was that he set up a fake profile/ avatar and went online to stalk her in the game and found her avatar having sex with some random guy's avatar. Nothing ever happened in real life (neither of them were exactly oil paintings to look at) but that was enough for the guy to initiate a fairy acrimonious divorce.
Anyone playing a game for ten hours a day surely has a problem facing reality and is maybe using the game to cope with stress or depression
Oh you poor naive fool. You haven't even found the mods yet. They are very disturbing lol
Load More Replies...Husband and wife still living together at the time had a small confrontation. The husband pulls a "sphincter says what" on her and she takes the bait and says "what." He giggled like a little kid. She then told her lawyer who had to talk to his lawyer. His lawyer asked him if he called his wife a sphincter and told him hes not allowed to call her that anymore.
Him: "Sphincter says what?" — Me: *says something incomprehensible* — Him: "What?" — Me: *giggles like a little kid*
My first trial. My client was being sued for a divorce on grounds of habitual cruel and inhuman treatment. Her husband alleged that she grabbed his d**k really hard and hurt it. He alleged it was on purpose. I had to cross examine him about it.
I imagine it was embarrassing for him too, so it had to be a serious issue for him to press it
And of course this is considered funny or trivial by people? If the genders were reversed and it was a man repeatedly grabbing and hurting his wife's genitals, this would be a clear-cut case of abuse. Abuse is abuse and he was abused. End of.
Who said it was funny? There's nothing that says anyone thinks it's a funny moment. Just memorable.
Load More Replies...I don't think that's unreasonable. If she was intentionally and maliciously harming him, that's called abuse - valid reason for divorce.
I once represented a client from a divorcing couple who still lived together pending the sale of the family home but would not speak to one another for any reason whatsoever. Had to negotiate terms with opposing counsel for the sharing of refrigerator space.
Friends of my parents were getting divorced. He had moved out. He went to the (soon to be ex-) marital home and took 'half' of the stereo system (eg ONE speaker, took the amp but not the pre-amp, etc). She got a restraining order which said he could only write to her and couldn't come to the house. They had a - get this - inflatable bath pillow and he wrote to her asking if he could have it. She cut the - inflatable! - bath pillow in half and sent him 'his' half.
He loved his pinball machine collection more than her. Also it turns out some pin ball machines can be worth a s**t load of money.
My mother is a family law lawyer, and she's told some great stories. One of her clients wanted to surprise his wife with a threesome between them both and his guy best friend. The surprise goes fine. She loves it, and life goes on. Eventually, the wife and the best friend retain some sort of connection that they didn't have until the threesome happened. They decide to get together and ditch her husband in the equation. He got divorced by his wife so that she could continue to have sex with his best friend.
That's awful. My ex-wife left me for my (now former) best friend. Wound up sleeping with him in the basement while I was taking care of her drunk friend, who was begging me to have my way with her. Even if I had known what my ex was doing, I wouldn't have done anything, because my marriage meant something to me and I'm not a scumbag who sleep with their spouse's friends or takes advantage of people.
I had one client who looked through her husband's phone and found out he was hiring male escorts while he was on business trips. Another female client got a divorce because she hated sex with her husband. Her last relationship before she got married was pretty intense, and I guess her husband just didn't match up. Hopefully, soon-to-be-former divorce attorney, I've seen tons of crazy reasons for people to get divorced.
I had a case where the husband found some incriminating texts on his wife's phone that she was cheating on him with some guy and also gets the impression his sister in-law might be in on it in some way. Him and his brother end up hiring a PI to tail them both to get the truth. They essentially confirm that both women are seeing other people. The sister in-law admitted full guilt of sleeping with another man and they attempted to reconcile, but his brother eventually filed for divorce. The one wife admitted she was looking to sleep with the guy, but they only "met for some kisses" and she "touched his penis a little bit" in hoping that would prove that she was still faithful since she couldn't go through with it. He filed for divorce anyway. Also, a serious tag helps these kinds of threads.
Just Wow! People can be so petty and so... and who dont want their kids? WOW!
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Load More Replies...Not everyone is crazy like the people of this stories. Don't forget: these are the collected craziest stories they found. :oD
Load More Replies...I didn't know there was this much flexibility when it comes to lawyer / client confidentially
No names are mentioned, so it doesn't really violate confidentiality. Also, some of these cases probably happened in years past.
Load More Replies...After reading this I'm convinced that people are insane and the mcuh deeper issues breaking these marriages up proves it.
I guess in these division of assets cases, it's not so much of getting a fair share but of denying the other party from getting what they want. Rationality goes completely out the window. Reminds me of MAD and scorched earth policies.
I'm so excited my broken heart has been restored. My man is back after he left me for another woman. I was so happy to meet Dr Williams and how he helped many people to bring back their happiness so I contacted him to help me too. That was how he helped me to bring back my man.. A big Thanks to you because I never thought my man would be back to me so quickly. You are such a nice man, I drop his contact below 👇 (WhatsApp +2348136785562) via email (highpriest422@gmail.com).
Just Wow! People can be so petty and so... and who dont want their kids? WOW!
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies...Not everyone is crazy like the people of this stories. Don't forget: these are the collected craziest stories they found. :oD
Load More Replies...I didn't know there was this much flexibility when it comes to lawyer / client confidentially
No names are mentioned, so it doesn't really violate confidentiality. Also, some of these cases probably happened in years past.
Load More Replies...After reading this I'm convinced that people are insane and the mcuh deeper issues breaking these marriages up proves it.
I guess in these division of assets cases, it's not so much of getting a fair share but of denying the other party from getting what they want. Rationality goes completely out the window. Reminds me of MAD and scorched earth policies.
I'm so excited my broken heart has been restored. My man is back after he left me for another woman. I was so happy to meet Dr Williams and how he helped many people to bring back their happiness so I contacted him to help me too. That was how he helped me to bring back my man.. A big Thanks to you because I never thought my man would be back to me so quickly. You are such a nice man, I drop his contact below 👇 (WhatsApp +2348136785562) via email (highpriest422@gmail.com).
