With media so heavily focused on bad men, you might begin to think that there aren't any good ones left. To find out if this was the case, Twitter user @emrazz addressed their 137K followers, asking all males to share their experience in standing up to misogyny. (Facebook cover image: Alan Kotok)
Image credits: emrazz
The tweet received 833 responses in just two days. And it wasn't just men telling their stories. Folks of both genders were applauding these random acts of kindness, saying their faith in humanity had just been restored.
This post may include affiliate links.
Great! If the only ones standing up to such "jokes" are women, they will quickly be labeled rabid feminist bitches and thus overlooked, or worse, the "joker" will get spurred on. It is absolutely necessary that men stand up against other men on these matters.
Small little things can matter. A person may not see the effect they have, but standing up for someone or a situation is important. People will never know it is NOT okay to do these types of things if it is not pointed out the them.
So many people, men and women, don't understand the nature of rape. It's not about sex. It's so much more and worse. Complete dominance, underlying rage, feelings of inadequacy's, just a couple of things involved in rape. People will quickly condemn serial killers or pedophiles, but question the victim of rape. How screwed up we are.
Mop it in the bud. And if it still continues, hit where it hurts, their pocket.
Context matters! Death and dying jokes, among coroners and other doctors, acceptable. At dinner with your in-laws, not acceptable. Rape jokes are not acceptable at work. Dark humor is a legitimate outlet for stressful situations, but is not acceptable in general gatherings.
Load More Replies...
maybe, but some things should not be joked about, really.
Load More Replies...
Seeing this kind of activity on Twitter is especially interesting. The social network was dubbed as "a toxic place for women" by Amnesty International after the organization conducted a study there. Calling it Troll Patrol, the researchers used crowdsourcing, data sience & machine learning to "measure violence and abuse against women on Twitter."
Well, America's funniest home videos censor nude children on the show, so maybe talk to your country about that.
A friend's son quit his after-school electronica club because girls are recruited, then made secretary. He complained, nothing changed, he left.
"Our findings reveal the sheer scale and nature of online abuse faced by women and provides a resource to researchers and engineers interested in exploring the potential of machine learning in content moderation," Amnesty International wrote. "These findings are the result of a collaboration between Amnesty International and Element AI, a global artificial intelligence software product company. Together, we surveyed millions of tweets received by 778 journalists and politicians from the UK and US throughout 2017 representing a variety of political views, and media spanning the ideological spectrum. Using cutting-edge data science and machine learning techniques, we were able to provide a quantitative analysis of unprecedented scale of online abuse against women in the UK and USA."
I applaud that! Sometimes people too easily focus on being extremely angry at the person who rejected them instead of respecting them. That can lead to some really problematic situations.
Together, they found out that "7.1% of tweets sent to the women in the study were 'problematic' or 'abusive.' This amounts to 1.1 million tweets mentioning 778 women across the year, or one every 30 seconds."
Just say you don't understand the joke and ask them to explain exactly why they think it's funny.
gee, when my boys were 3, they were all about doing stuff like that to GIVE TO MOMMY. why assume that they want it for themselves? and even if they did, so what??? children are TAUGHT stereotypes, racism, etc, it's not something they come up with on their own
Furthermore, women of color, (black, Asian, Latinx and mixed-race women) were 34% more likely to be mentioned in abusive or problematic tweets than white women. "Black women were disproportionately targeted, being 84% more likely than white women to be mentioned in abusive or problematic tweets."
Among its conclusions, the study stated that "Twitter's data states that 2.8 million unique accounts were reported for abuse of which Twitter actioned 248,000 – approximately 9%. However, the data published only reflects unique accounts that were reported for abuse and actioned. Twitter should also publish the total number of tweets reported for abuse and hateful conduct - disaggregated by category - in order to avoid potentially underplaying the true scale of abuse on the platform."
Once my boss was harrassing an intern by make comments on how nice she looked and that he would love to spend some private time with her. I told him that I'd love to spend some private time with his wife to tell her what a jerk he was. Didn't change him much but at least it changed the way he treated female coworkers.
Why did he need a sandwich made if he had lunch? Though I totally agree with the outcome I'm just feeling a bit confused.
Sometimes every friend group needs a bit of a "wet blanket" so that jokes don't go to far. Even if something is considered a joke by some people it can become toxic if it gets taken too far...
Did you really..did you really have to make a Jake Paul reference?
Everyday at work I have a customer that comes and call me names , like : Hey how you doing? Me: Thank you , fine , what about you? Him: you are sooo sexy, Oh my god you are soooo sexy...why don´t you give me your number and we go out? Me: NO thank you He: why not? I can come to your house and we can drink something? Miziii pitziii sexy girl , baby you are looking goooooddd - THIS IS EVERYDAY and I am sooo sick of that. I´m ignoring him when he starts talk to me this way but he don´t stop. AND he has a wife and kids at home. This is so disgusting, he disgusts me! I have no problem with people tell me I am looking good or something but he is doing that in a disgusting way. And when I say he should please stop with this he say´s why? I should take this as a compliment that a man like him is attracted to me......
I really have hope that my generation will be the one to end the misogyny (and misandry) that plagues our society. In the mean time, have you heard of misanthropy? The belief that all humans are inferior?
So I think this stuff is super important and yes, there are definitely times having a dude around has helped BUT...LADIES!!!! We must learn to stand up for ourselves!!!! Stop waiting for a "movement"!!
We need to be educated to be able to defend ourselves. Often assault or unwanted attention comes out of the blue and because you’re not expecting it it shocks you so you don’t respond as you should. There’s a reason animals play dead, fight or flight. If we are prepared and have trained for the situation then we can respond accordingly and “lady up” but the response has to be trained. We need self defence taught in physical education classes for girls at middle and high schools. Not just getting out of a physical hold but appropriate verbal responses to shut down the unwanted attention as soon as it manifests. Once you are able to spot it and the response is automatic it would prevent a lot of assaults.
Load More Replies...
I was 17 and worked part-time as a waitress at a local small "family" bar. I got harassed multiple times verbally, thankfully, there was no actual physical harassment, but yes, people tried. The scary thing was, I didn't even realize I was being harassed. I considered those were "over flirting". I remember there was an old frequent customer, probably older than my dad, who was married as well, always tried to flirt with me, but I just ignored him every time, one time he tried to kiss me, saying its "a gift", i pushed him away, telling him he was disgusting. My boss, who was a man, who I always considered a kind and nice person, told me "its just a joke, don't be so harsh"..... I quit the job even though I desperately needed money for my study. But I didn't think of it as anything serious, I only quit because I felt it was too much work for little money, and I had to put up with such annoyance, only when I look back to that time, I realized how f****d up it was.
I may be commenting late, but that really was messed up. That man shouldn't have been bothering you and your boss should have taken it seriously.
Load More Replies...
I used to have a co-worker that would tell clients to talk to the girl in the office. I asked him to stop referring to me as "the girl" or I would start calling him "the boy". He looked at me with puzzlement and asked: "what should I call you?" and was fully shocked when I said, "you could use my name". I doubt he meant offense, but his cluelessness about why he was wrong is so much worse. In another instance, a male co-worker covered the phones one day while I was out of the office. When I got back he said he preferred working inside on such a rainy day and my boss told him his legs were too hairy for office work. I responded with "You assume I shave my legs", and my co-worker says "He assumes I don't". I've never seen a grown man turn that shade of red before or since.
* brings back fate in humanity:) (Sorry for that unfinished comment, my dog decided to walk on my phone when I was writing it...)
Load More Replies... All the above examples are just as bad as a male trying to belittle another male by calling him a woman. That implies that being female is somehow inferior to being male. He insulted his mother, grandmother, sisters, aunts, female cousins, future wife, daughters, daughters-in-law, and his future grand daughters; along with every female on the planet. When God made Adam, He said it was good. When God made Eve, He said it was very good, and He meant that about BOTH of them.
I don't think any god has made anything, but the start of your post is really good and absolutly correct!
Load More Replies...
2 stories come to mind. When I was 18 I took a job at a good classy pub. I saw 2 guys walk in chatting when one of them pinched a girls bum who was sat at the other end of the bar. As I walked towards them I saw my manager heading towards them but even before he got there his friend hit him on the shoulder and spun him to face him, said something that was probably along the lines of "Not cool dude!" before headbutting him. My manager arrived to here in time to hear the offender teary eyed say "I'm sorry for being a d**k" Second I was involved in . I was 23 and lived in a second floor flat when I hear shouting outside. I looked and saw a couple arguing. Suddenly he punched her hard in the stomach! I ran downstairs and did a flying crappy wrestler style kick and he flew into the bushes. I got up and took her hand and limped back to my flat with her in tow. By the time he had got out of the bushes we had got inside. She used my phone to call her dad and he picked her up.
Random guy from my high school: "What's cooking good looking?" Me: (Giving him the death stare) "What?" Him: "Oh sorry. *Internal choking* I thought you were someone else." Me: "That's what I thought." I hope he has learned from that situation. First time getting catcalled, too.
"The Look" tends to work really well. Maybe they learned to respect it from their mamas.
Load More Replies...
It's really important that a movement like this start among men themselves, not only because harassing men often listen to other men while ignoring women protesting, but also because while reacting they teach not only themselves and men around them a proper way of conduct. Men have generally a way of ignoring what women say or think, so a man who dare stand side by side with a woman is in my eyes a truly strong man of integrity, and the men who harass and degrade women are weak and pathetic. They show how afraid they are of women, when they steal women's power away from them that way. I love true, strong men, who have integrity enough not to feel challenged by a strong woman, who realises that a woman's strength doesn't take away any of his own strength.
I was at a restaurant where this sexist loser was with another girl who paid for his meal and left before him. He then immediately tried to hit on the waitress and get her number I let the waitress know she didn’t want him because he can’t even pay for his own food or have enough respect for the woman he was with so he wasn’t going to respect her either. He made some incoherent statements and then left embarrassed
Some kid was harassing one of the younger girls I was friends with at summer camp one time. I stepped in and claimed to be her big brother. It turned out he knew her REAL brother though so I ended up walking away feeling like a moron but I don't regret trying at least.
Disclaimer; I did not literally 'walk away', I got one of the councilors, but it's the turn of phrase.
Load More Replies...
Working in a home improvement store during a job fair a guy won't leave me alone and finally asks why I'm not a model. Co worker comes over and says she's a hand model and flicks him off "like this, see?!" I never laughed so hard at watching this guy getting embarrassed
My favorite part....there are male readers who are saying to themselves...what? that needs recognition? nah, that's just what we do. Thank you to the silent folks who do their part to quash inequality and abusive nature. YOU ROCK.
Ok, this was my sister in law, but its good: once, she and a friend sat on a bench in their town when a flasher flashed... well, everything at them. My sister in law said "wow, what a tiny one" to the guy. Not what he expected, and I have heard that the man walked away fairly red-faced from the encounter.
I'm 13 and if i can stop a 190cm drunk man with just words, then you can.
All these stories make it even weirder that the women I've seen on the receiving end of what rational people would consider harassment take it as a compliment. I mean, they're a part of the 10am drinking crowd, but still.
according to some "ALL men are potential rapists"
Load More Replies... It would be so much easier if women just wore green shirts if they wanted to be talked to and red shirts if they didn’t.
Sorry I know this will be unpopular but just because the guys an a*s it was okay for the girl to hit the guy. Where is the out rage to a girl hitting the guy? Yeah the guys a d**k for hitting her but so is she for hitting him.
Load More Replies...
Joking about assault really isn't "a little fun". Nor is, of course, the actual assault.
Load More Replies...
If you want to write an article for BP, please do - your opinion is just as valid as everybody else's after all and also it's probably a better way to get your own views across than continually stamping sarcastic negativity on everyone else's entries... I despise the current societal misandry as much as anyone, but you do your position and viewpoint no favours with the repetitive bleating just like the feminazis.
Load More Replies... I really have hope that my generation will be the one to end the misogyny (and misandry) that plagues our society. In the mean time, have you heard of misanthropy? The belief that all humans are inferior?
So I think this stuff is super important and yes, there are definitely times having a dude around has helped BUT...LADIES!!!! We must learn to stand up for ourselves!!!! Stop waiting for a "movement"!!
We need to be educated to be able to defend ourselves. Often assault or unwanted attention comes out of the blue and because you’re not expecting it it shocks you so you don’t respond as you should. There’s a reason animals play dead, fight or flight. If we are prepared and have trained for the situation then we can respond accordingly and “lady up” but the response has to be trained. We need self defence taught in physical education classes for girls at middle and high schools. Not just getting out of a physical hold but appropriate verbal responses to shut down the unwanted attention as soon as it manifests. Once you are able to spot it and the response is automatic it would prevent a lot of assaults.
Load More Replies... I was 17 and worked part-time as a waitress at a local small "family" bar. I got harassed multiple times verbally, thankfully, there was no actual physical harassment, but yes, people tried. The scary thing was, I didn't even realize I was being harassed. I considered those were "over flirting". I remember there was an old frequent customer, probably older than my dad, who was married as well, always tried to flirt with me, but I just ignored him every time, one time he tried to kiss me, saying its "a gift", i pushed him away, telling him he was disgusting. My boss, who was a man, who I always considered a kind and nice person, told me "its just a joke, don't be so harsh"..... I quit the job even though I desperately needed money for my study. But I didn't think of it as anything serious, I only quit because I felt it was too much work for little money, and I had to put up with such annoyance, only when I look back to that time, I realized how f****d up it was.
I may be commenting late, but that really was messed up. That man shouldn't have been bothering you and your boss should have taken it seriously.
Load More Replies... I used to have a co-worker that would tell clients to talk to the girl in the office. I asked him to stop referring to me as "the girl" or I would start calling him "the boy". He looked at me with puzzlement and asked: "what should I call you?" and was fully shocked when I said, "you could use my name". I doubt he meant offense, but his cluelessness about why he was wrong is so much worse. In another instance, a male co-worker covered the phones one day while I was out of the office. When I got back he said he preferred working inside on such a rainy day and my boss told him his legs were too hairy for office work. I responded with "You assume I shave my legs", and my co-worker says "He assumes I don't". I've never seen a grown man turn that shade of red before or since.
* brings back fate in humanity:) (Sorry for that unfinished comment, my dog decided to walk on my phone when I was writing it...)
Load More Replies... All the above examples are just as bad as a male trying to belittle another male by calling him a woman. That implies that being female is somehow inferior to being male. He insulted his mother, grandmother, sisters, aunts, female cousins, future wife, daughters, daughters-in-law, and his future grand daughters; along with every female on the planet. When God made Adam, He said it was good. When God made Eve, He said it was very good, and He meant that about BOTH of them.
I don't think any god has made anything, but the start of your post is really good and absolutly correct!
Load More Replies... 2 stories come to mind. When I was 18 I took a job at a good classy pub. I saw 2 guys walk in chatting when one of them pinched a girls bum who was sat at the other end of the bar. As I walked towards them I saw my manager heading towards them but even before he got there his friend hit him on the shoulder and spun him to face him, said something that was probably along the lines of "Not cool dude!" before headbutting him. My manager arrived to here in time to hear the offender teary eyed say "I'm sorry for being a d**k" Second I was involved in . I was 23 and lived in a second floor flat when I hear shouting outside. I looked and saw a couple arguing. Suddenly he punched her hard in the stomach! I ran downstairs and did a flying crappy wrestler style kick and he flew into the bushes. I got up and took her hand and limped back to my flat with her in tow. By the time he had got out of the bushes we had got inside. She used my phone to call her dad and he picked her up.
Random guy from my high school: "What's cooking good looking?" Me: (Giving him the death stare) "What?" Him: "Oh sorry. *Internal choking* I thought you were someone else." Me: "That's what I thought." I hope he has learned from that situation. First time getting catcalled, too.
"The Look" tends to work really well. Maybe they learned to respect it from their mamas.
Load More Replies... It's really important that a movement like this start among men themselves, not only because harassing men often listen to other men while ignoring women protesting, but also because while reacting they teach not only themselves and men around them a proper way of conduct. Men have generally a way of ignoring what women say or think, so a man who dare stand side by side with a woman is in my eyes a truly strong man of integrity, and the men who harass and degrade women are weak and pathetic. They show how afraid they are of women, when they steal women's power away from them that way. I love true, strong men, who have integrity enough not to feel challenged by a strong woman, who realises that a woman's strength doesn't take away any of his own strength.
I was at a restaurant where this sexist loser was with another girl who paid for his meal and left before him. He then immediately tried to hit on the waitress and get her number I let the waitress know she didn’t want him because he can’t even pay for his own food or have enough respect for the woman he was with so he wasn’t going to respect her either. He made some incoherent statements and then left embarrassed
Some kid was harassing one of the younger girls I was friends with at summer camp one time. I stepped in and claimed to be her big brother. It turned out he knew her REAL brother though so I ended up walking away feeling like a moron but I don't regret trying at least.
Disclaimer; I did not literally 'walk away', I got one of the councilors, but it's the turn of phrase.
Load More Replies... Working in a home improvement store during a job fair a guy won't leave me alone and finally asks why I'm not a model. Co worker comes over and says she's a hand model and flicks him off "like this, see?!" I never laughed so hard at watching this guy getting embarrassed
My favorite part....there are male readers who are saying to themselves...what? that needs recognition? nah, that's just what we do. Thank you to the silent folks who do their part to quash inequality and abusive nature. YOU ROCK.
Ok, this was my sister in law, but its good: once, she and a friend sat on a bench in their town when a flasher flashed... well, everything at them. My sister in law said "wow, what a tiny one" to the guy. Not what he expected, and I have heard that the man walked away fairly red-faced from the encounter.
I'm 13 and if i can stop a 190cm drunk man with just words, then you can.
All these stories make it even weirder that the women I've seen on the receiving end of what rational people would consider harassment take it as a compliment. I mean, they're a part of the 10am drinking crowd, but still.
according to some "ALL men are potential rapists"
Load More Replies... It would be so much easier if women just wore green shirts if they wanted to be talked to and red shirts if they didn’t.
Sorry I know this will be unpopular but just because the guys an a*s it was okay for the girl to hit the guy. Where is the out rage to a girl hitting the guy? Yeah the guys a d**k for hitting her but so is she for hitting him.
Load More Replies... Joking about assault really isn't "a little fun". Nor is, of course, the actual assault.
Load More Replies... If you want to write an article for BP, please do - your opinion is just as valid as everybody else's after all and also it's probably a better way to get your own views across than continually stamping sarcastic negativity on everyone else's entries... I despise the current societal misandry as much as anyone, but you do your position and viewpoint no favours with the repetitive bleating just like the feminazis.
Load More Replies...
