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“She Wasn’t My Little Girl After All”: 34 Stories Of Men Learning The Truth About Kids Not Being Theirs
It can be a tricky situation when a man realizes that he is not the biological father of the child he believed was his.
The news can bring with it a mix of emotions — it can be confusion, betrayal, or even relief in some cases.
While DNA testing is getting easier and more popular, it’s still difficult for some men not to be blindsided by paternity frauds or mistakes.
A Reddit user recently asked men to share their experiences when they found that the child wasn’t actually theirs, and some of the stories are as shocking as the secret itself.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I have a mixed race child. Originally was told it was mine until she actually gave birth. Since she was mixed, she came out pretty light skinned. Very light skinned, actually. But as she got older, her skin got darker and darker. Let the mother stick around for about a year to 2 years. She wasn't from where we were living and didn't have anywhere else to go. Didn't want to kick baby out into the streets. Finally, I had enough of her crazy and kicked her out. But, I ended up getting attached to the little girl.
Fast forward 2 years and I'm single, lonely, depressed and missing the little girl. I've had no contact with them. Through the grapevine, I hear my little girls real dad has nothing to do with her. No contact, no father. From the story I get, the real dad was married and refused her.
I set up a meeting with my little girl after two years to get a feeling on the situation and it was like those two years never happened. She ran up to me like she just saw me yesterday. I talked to the mother and I said that I'll take care of her. We never went to court. No child support has ever been filed. We don't fight about anything. I tell her if she needs anything as far as money or clothes, whatever, I'll take care of it.
She's now 10, I'm married, my wife accepts her with open arms and loves her like I do. She's an awesome kid. Great student. No troubles. I have to teach her a bit of humility because all she concerned about is being beautiful. But if that's my biggest worry with her, I think that's ok. I wouldn't change anything at all.
I will tell you one thing. I live in the south and you would think that a married white couple with 2 normal white kids and an older mixed girl, one would think you'd get more looks from white folks. Surprisingly, it's the black folks that gives us more "WTH?" looks than anything. But like I said, I wouldn't trade her for anything. I love that silly girl.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 hours ago
This is a dad. He might not have contributed the spérm, but he is that little girl's dad.
RELATED:
#2
My daughter isn't mine. My now ex-wife knows, I know, our daughter is little and doesn't know. The real father doesn't want anything to do with her. In my mind she'll always be my daughter. I'll raise her and care for her, not because I have to, but because she deserves the love of a father as much as anyone else. My ex-wife I don't wish ill upon, when I let her go I let all that anger go too. I'm just happy to have this little girl in my life.
#3
I was with someone for five years, and during the time we had our issues. Being in a relationship together from the ages of 17-22, we of course had our "off to live life" moments. Well, her and I were giving it our last try. A week after the deed, I noticed the signs of pregnancy and told her to get a test. It was positive. However, she then let me know that before we started to get back together she had been trying to start a family with another man. My father, who had raised my half brother and I so alike that we never knew he wasn't my brother's bio dad, had set an example for me that family is the most important thing in life. So I accepted the fact that I could be a dad, and I was willing to do everything I could do.
After nine months of trying to be there for her while she bounced between the other man and I, her doctor had "advised" her that I was most likely the father of the child. So I became the prominent father to everyone in her life at this point. I was overwhelmed with joy that I would become a father, and I could try to be the best I could be.
A month after the baby was born she wanted to clarify who the father of the baby was, so we took a test. I was holding the child in my arms when I received the email. I looked at the "0%" on the bottom of the results. Devastated, I showed it to her. She replied with "Well, I should tell the other guy". Her mom and I insisted on raising the child without telling him, he had a terrible [dependency on illegal substances], but her idea of a perfect family was both biological parents. So that was the last day I had a daughter.
I went through two terribly depressing years. She would wave the child in my face when she wanted attention and things never worked out between us after that. I always felt like I had done something wrong and that I let the child down. I had to constantly remind myself that even if I felt like she was my child, she wasn't and nothing could ever give that back to me. I'm getting through it with the help of a wonderful new girlfriend and incredible friends, but when a man makes a connection with a child it's the strongest love they will ever feel.
Sorry for the long post, I'm not able to really talk to anyone about this. So it's sat on my heart for two years. Thanks to anyone who reads this.
Sara Frazer 8 hours ago
Wow, the birth-giver is trash. So many people who don't deserve children and are completely incapable of parenting have them regardless.
With genetic testing and ancestry kits becoming more advanced, a growing number of people are trying to find out truths about their roots.
A 2022 US survey of people showed just how common these revelations are — about 7% of FamilyTreeDNA participants found out their dad wasn’t their biological father.
The tricky thing about paternity fraud is that people often don’t find out until years down the line. It can be revealed during medical emergencies, divorce proceedings, or when someone decides to take a DNA test out of curiosity or suspicion.
#4
Was told he was mine. Raised him for 8yrs before getting my own paternity test done to find out the truth. I changed his diapers, taught him how to ride his bike, basic dad stuff before i knew the truth. You can't un-love a kid. I'm his dad, and he's my son. I wouldn't have it any other way. I despise his manipulative, lying mother. I think she holds him back.
#5
Two years after my daughter was born, my ex and I had a major falling out over her infidelity and [substance] use. She quickly proved herself completely incapable of taking care of our children. I filed for full custody for both children. My ex flew off the handle, and one day before the hearing, she told me that our daughter wasn’t mine and that if I tried getting full custody, then I would never see her again.
I was devastated at the thought, but I loved my daughter. Over the course of a few months, my ex spiraled out of control, and I was ultimately awarded full custody of both children. She left the state to get treatment, then after a couple of years, disappeared with a new boyfriend she met in rehab.
My parents pressed me to get a DNA test. They adored their granddaughter and would continue to love her regardless of whether or not she was my biological child. They just wanted to know the truth, because they didn’t want my ex to use it as a weapon against me out of spite down the road. Honestly, I wanted to remain ignorant. I’m not sure if that’s right or wrong, but it’s how I felt. Well, they eventually said that if I didn’t get a DNA test, then they would get one using their DNA. I relented, got the test, and received the heart-breaking results. She wasn’t mine.
Those results never for a second changed how I feel about my daughter. I know there are plenty of children raised by stepparents or adopted parents who lead happy lives. I just dread the thought of having the conversation with her one day, worried about how she’ll take the news. I’m still completely unsure of when the right time to tell her is.
It’s been five years since I learned the truth. Regardless of whether or not she shares my DNA, I will always see her as nothing less than my daughter. I held her the day she was born. I’ve been with her every step of the way. I’ve since remarried, and my new wife fully embraced her. My daughter calls her “mommy.” She is the greatest joy in my life, and she deserves a loving, happy family. I supposed it would have been well within my rights to walk away when I found out, but there’s no way I could’ve done that. I feel for anyone who ever has to receive this gut punch.
Lyone Fein 3 hours ago
The way to have this conversation with a child is to tell them that you love and want them so much that you fought to keep her.
#6
Not me but my brother. He had always thought his youngest wasn't his biologically. Mainly because his ex is mentally unstable whose true colors came to the fore in their hideous break up. Either way he is a stand up guy and he loves his kids more than anything. Now he couldn't care less if his daughter isn't technically his. Yeah it hurt like [hell] at the time but he is the only thing stand in the way of that crazy wench utterly wrecking these kids lives with her selfish and stupid behaviour. Our whole family is right behind him and will do whatever it takes to support them and him.
My niece didn't ask for this and she will most likely never know. Either way she has a loving father who adores her and an extended family that want to see her grow into a wonderful young woman. My parents were a little bitter about it for a week or so but in the catalog of [trashy] things his ex did getting pregnant by some other dude rates pretty much at the bottom.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 8 hours ago
I think the niece should be told WHEN she is older/old enough to know, purely for medical history/genetic reasons if nothing else. Even if The Ex doesn't know who the child' biological father actually is (e.g., if she was drunk or sleeping with a lot of different dudes who could potentially be the bio father), it is important to let the child know when they are old enough so that they know they may have a predisposition towards genetic/health conditions.
Paternity fraud, where a woman lies about the biological father of her child, can happen for several reasons — for financial gains, to hide infidelity and affairs, revenge or manipulation, and even cultural and family expectations.
Miscommunication, clerical errors, mistakes on birth records are some of the factors as well.
#7
Not my story, but I feel it should be told in light of all the horrible stories in this thread.
I know a guy who found out his daughter was not his biologically (after raising her for a few years).
He used that as proof in court that the mother was not trustyworth and unfit to be a mother in order to get full custody. He loves her and she is his daughter, not by blood but he is definetly the father and loves her very much.
Bi.Felicia 8 hours ago
Yea, no I know that this guy didn't get awarded full custody of a child, that isn't his, biologically, just because the mother is 'untrustworthy' and 'unfit' for not disclosing her infidelity. The mother had to have done something pretty awful to lose custody to a non-relative ex-boyfriend, she may have also just signed over custody to be free of the child? Either way his reason for being awarded full custody of his now daughter is complete bs, but I'm glad that OP and his daughter are happy and loved.
#8
My brother found out around the time his daughter was 7 or 8. He never told anybody but me and his current wife. She still thinks she's his and he payed every penny of child support until she was 18 even though she lived with him the entire time. My brother is the man I wish i was ethically.
#9
When I was in the Navy I had an on again off again relationship with a girl back home. On my last deployment my girlfriend told me via email that she was knocked up; I accepted it, emailed my parents, told the military all that jazz. I ended up getting discharged so I went back home and took care of "my" pregnant girlfriend. She had the baby and I thought I was the father for five months. While she was on vacation with a "girlfriend". While she was gone I got an email from her boyfriend telling me that they had been together for the last four months and also for the week in Myrtle Beach I was bank rolling. After that I got the paternity test found out it wasn't mine and told her I was done and wanted no contact. [Sad] part is my parents still babysit and treat the kid like their grandkid, so she's at a lot of family functions and such. Also the guy wasn't even the father.
Bi.Felicia 8 hours ago
OP partially dodged a bullet, well maybe he personally did, but only partial because some of his family is still involved in this child's life. That has to be some awkward family functions.
There can be both legal and emotional consequences for everyone involved, especially when the truth comes out.
However, in many countries, paternity fraud is not classified as a legal offence.
For example, a man can apply to a court or the Child Maintenance Service in the UK to stop future payments for childcare once paternity is shown to be false. But previous payments are usually not refunded, and paternity fraud is not listed as a criminal offence as such.
The victim can also sue for damages in the civil court, but it does not come without legal hurdles.
The US has more or less similar laws, and paternity fraud has not been listed as a crime there. The cases are usually taken up by civil courts.
#10
My boyfriend's daughter is not his. He broke his hand on a door when he found out. But he never once denied her. He is on her birth certificate, has his last name the whole nine yards. She is his baby girl and he is her daddy. End of story. His ex wife likes to hold it above his head though "if you don't do xyz I'm getting a DNA test on baby and you'll never see her again." Burns me up!
#11
Found out from her best friend it wasn't mine, my parents made me believe I was doing the right thing the whole time. I kicked her out of the house never heard from her since.
Sara Frazer 8 hours ago
"it" -yeah it's scummy of the ex to cheat, but at least don't call an innocent child who had NO say whatsoever in their existential circumstances "it".
#12
Words cannot describe how horrified and devastated and furious I was at my ex wife.
I maintained my good relationship with my son even though he wasn't biologically mine. I still raised him and I can't hold his mother's disgraceful behaviour against him.
His mother however, I divorced her shortly after finding out the truth and have never spoken to her again outside of mandatory talks about legal issues.
Studies show that paternity fraud can have severe emotional effects.
It can be a traumatic life-changing event and can lead to stress, trust issues and identity challenges.
As several of these stories here show, it can also lead to feelings of distress, a sense of loss, anger, and isolation.
Other post-traumatic experiences such as anxiety, avoidance and denial were also found in a recent study of participants who were involved in such situations.
#13
I knew that my father wasn't actually my biological father before he did. My mom thought I should know first, and she had planned to tell him shortly after me, but due to a work trip he went on, I knew for about a week before he did. Mom told me that she had a one-night stand with a dude while she was dating my dad. He thought the baby was his, so she went with it. The problem was, she didn't tell me he didn't know, so I asked him how he was holding up on a phone call. It was pretty hard to explain it to him myself, I mean, I couldn't just give him a cliffhanger like that for such a huge announcement like that. Later that week, my neighbor accidentally set himself on fire. Mom and dad mutually decided to divorce since she basically cheated on him. It's not really different between him and I, I still love him like my real dad.
#14
This wasn't me, but I was there when the truth came out at his not-really-granddaughter's wedding.
He got a vasectomy after they had three kids and shortly after his wife became pregnant. He knew it wasn't his but he made a decision to raise the son as his own. He ended up passing away. No one found out until the bride found out she has a rare hereditary disease that, after asking many many questions, came from her biological grandfather. Someone got really drunk at the rehearsal dinner & decided it was a good idea to tell her father (the illegitimate son) the truth. It wasn't.
TLDR; he raised it as his own with the intention of everyone believing it was his own.
#15
This isn't my story but I feel it needs to be noted here.
Seven years ago my cousin married a lovely girl, she got pregnant and they bought a house, fully committed to preparing it for their kid. She died due to complications during childbirth, the kid (Amy) survived. My cousin spent the next years of his life doing everything possible to be able to provide for his daughter while still being a father, he used to work evening/night shifts and then take a few naps across the day.
Two years ago it became apparently that while Amy shared features from her mother, she didn't share features from my cousin. He had a paternity test done, negative. He hasn't told her and we have no idea who the real father might be but those who have been told (me, his sister, my mother) have agreed that it doesn't matter.
We're still actively looking into it, just in case a potential medical issue or something. I don't expect that she'll be told until she is either old enough to understand or old enough to notice the difference. I've been the "investigator" and I gotta be honest, I'm really starting to dislike Amy's mother.
#16
Yeah, I pretty much knew that three of my daughters were not biologically mine.
I found out a lot about my wife at that time.
The hard part was handling her betrayal.
I never gave the kids any reason to believe that I was not their dad. I love them. All of them. They are children and there is no reason not to treat them well. They were innocent in all this.
I would have stayed with my wife. I believe that children are better of with a full set of parents.
My wife at that time could not handle what she did. She eventually sought the divorce.
But there is no way I would have. I mean, I would never have slept with her again, but I would not have let the kids know things were bad.
Bi.Felicia 8 hours ago
I definitely am the opposite of this dude, not when it comes to the kids, but knowing your wife is cheating and has lied and conceived 3 daughters, with a range of 1-3 other men and you still wanted to stay with your wife?? Why stay married to someone who treats you like that? You deserve to be loved and respected by your partner.
As cases of adoption, surrogacy and foster care show, genetics alone don’t make someone a parent. For many, fatherhood is created through connection, not just chromosomes.
In several instances, men felt shock, grief, confusion, and even panic that followed the confessions about paternity.
But some of them chose to define fatherhood on their own terms — they openly expressed their feelings, thought about their connection to the child as well as the love they shared with their partners.
One of the hardest choices a dad can face is deciding whether to stay in their child’s life or step back.
If you're ever in such a situation, here are some tips on how to deal with it:
- Give yourself some space and time to digest the news.
- Show some compassion.
- Seek professional support as well as support from trusted friends and family members.
- Focus on your relationship with the child if they’re already in your care.
- Express and set clear boundaries with your partner when it comes to finances, care and commitment.
- Know when to walk away.
#17
Well. I can say from it happening to me, learning your child is not your child is pretty much the worst news you can get
My story: We suffered from fertility issues and did all the treatments for months, and after many inseminations she was pregnant…. And she starts acting very odd about many things out of nowhere that I chalked up to her hormones. But still very odd behavior
We have a baby boy. Healthy and all seems well with him but she’s acting odd still.
Over the next 5 years she works endlessly to keep a wedge between my boy and I. As if our forming a relationship is a bad thing.
We separate over many problems. And then I get the news from her : he’s not your boy and she requests dna as part of the divorce action. And it’s confined I’m not the father and it’s a friend of mine., who now wants to be with her and their child. I was ordered to stay away from their kid as a minor and no obligation for child support
In a blink: 5 years of life, memories, being called dad and my main man are gone. I have no legal rights and I have to stay away or else
The first few years I just drank ALOT to hide the pain. Holidays sucked, everything sucked until one day I had enough and got a really good therapist to talk to
Several years later; I consider myself lucky to have been a dad and I’ll always miss my boy and pray for him every day to have a great life. I also talk with others who are having a bad day with their kids to say to them: you should cherish each second as it can suddenly vanish one day without you knowing or say
The pain will never go away, it just becomes tolerable when it comes to holidays. You learn to smile at the little things and laugh looking back at those times
I hope for my ex. She finds the peace she was looking for and provides my boy a great life.
Lyone Fein 2 hours ago
This sounds so painful. The judge made a very extreme decision by forcing him out of the boy’s life. I wonder where this happened.
#18
I found out after he started to have none of my features at all. Got a DNA test and sure enough, he wasn't mine. I quickly noped out of that marriage, won my house in court, sold it and moved to a different country. Haven't looked back since and moving to England was one of the best decisions of my life.
#19
I had a fiance, we were supposed to be getting married. Then she went on a holiday by herself because "She just needed to get away".
She came back pregnant..... to an unemployed [illegal substances] user. I had a job and an apartment. She told me "You've never done anything to prove you really loved me ... now's your chance. Accept me and the baby."
No thanks. Last I heard of her she's an unmarried mother of two...
#20
Not a man, never been in this situation, but I am the child of one of these situations so I thought I'd chime in.
**TL;DR:** Mom stayed with her husband at first and he is legally my father, but my dad decided he wanted to stay in the picture so my mom eventually married him and I have two dads.
My mom got married when she was 17 and had three sons with her first husband, I'm going to call him Ben. They were together for a long time, I think about 18 years total. Somewhere along the way she realized she was caught in a loveless marriage but couldn't really do anything about it. My dad, who I'll call Dave, moved in across the street and the two of them started spending time together, and she started an affair with him. They weren't careful enough, and next thing you know my mom is pregnant with me.
She knew from the get-go I wasn't Ben's, and he kind of had an idea too because they weren't intimate that often and the math didn't work out, but I think he went along with it just because he didn't want to think about what she was doing behind his back. My dad initially didn't want to have anything to do with me, so when I was born, they put down her husband's name on my birth certificate as the father and called it a day. Paternity tests were done, though, and my mom confirmed what she already knew.
Sorry, around here my details get a little fuzzy because my mom still hasn't given me a full and complete story. Dave still definitely didn't want to stick with my mom and I and it was just agreed that Ben would raise me as his and they would forget it happened. He was and is a great guy and an awesome dad.
Now, the way I've heard it is Dave, despite his convictions, couldn't stay away because he loved my mom so much and once he laid eyes on me he was head over heels. Some of my earliest memories are going to visit him in his apartment. At some point between the time I was 2 and the time I was 3, my mom and Ben divorced. I don't remember it and was kept largely out of it, but I understand it was very messy. Because I was legally Ben's daughter, I got the same visitations as my other brothers who were still under 18. My mom and Dave married when I was four, and Dave was never happy about these visits, but I was because I loved Ben so much. Ben was always "Daddy," Dave was "Dad." It was understood and I never confused the two or made reference to one being my parent in front of the other, even as a 4 and 5 year old I knew the sensitive nature of the situation.
It was never confusing, either, because they really are two very different people who I think provided me with a great balance of paternal figures in my life. Like I said, Ben was always "Daddy." Sweet, endearing, with a heart of gold who just wanted his little girl to be happy and would spoil her rotten to see her smile and make stupid jokes to get a giggle out of her. Dave was "Dad." Still kind and loved me to death, but more of the disciplinarian who I knew not to mess with. My mom's not married to either of them now (another long-winded story entirely) but I consider both of them to be my father and I consider both of them to have done the best job they could have, and I think I turned out alright.
Lyone Fein 2 hours ago
Good to hear this perspective. It’s nice that both men stepped up to give her love and support.
#21
This happened to my best friend. Yet he loves his son so much, I can't even express it in words. It's as if the news actually united them *more* in an everlasting bond of love than if he had been the boy's biological father. They *need* one another, in the best sense - and all our friends witness this truth and depth of commitment.
#22
My neighbor is an amazing single dad to two children that he confessed that he's not sure if they are is or not. He says it doesn't matter anymore; they are his children and he loves them, blood or not.
His ex fiancee pretty much had her way with the whole neighborhood. She had a kid with my neighbor, then had another kid with a guy down the street (and my neighbor forgave her,) and then had another kid with my neighbor.
One day, she leaves for another neighbor's brother, leaving all three kids to be raised by their fathers. She now plays house with her husband's 6 kids (that were abandoned on him by their Mom.)
She tried to get custody over a year ago and was denied, but given two weekends a month.
Bi.Felicia 7 hours ago
So she abandons her own 3 children, to their respective fathers, to go play house with the brother, of the neighbor that she cheated on her fiance with, while also now playing mommy to this guy's 6 kids?? Just wanted to confirm that I read this correctly?
#23
Not me, but my uncle. My uncle had 3 girls with his ex-wife. Two of which he found out weren't his... when they turned around 15-14. He still loves them though. Spoils them, would do anything for them. They don't know however, he'll joke about it, but they're always totally oblivious.
#24
Not my story, but in a way it turned out for the best. I knew a guy who was sort of "Stuck" with a girl he knocked up and she made him miserable and turned their daughter into a whiney spoiled brat that hated him. One day the woman gets drunk and laughs at him telling him how his daughter isn't really his. He walked out on them leaving mother and daughter high and dry with no support. Daughter was too spoiled to get a job and is one of the trashiest people you'll ever encounter, mom's a drunk.
Bi.Felicia 8 hours ago
If he walked out and isn't paying support and the mom is a trashy drunk, I wonder who is spoiling the daughter so much, she doesn't need to get a job?
#25
So, im on the other side of the fence
Basicly im dating this girl for about 3 years. Rocky relationship and all that jazz
I break up with her and move back to my hometown for a perioe. While back she asks if she can come visit etc. First mistake.
Anyway, 2 months after the visit she is pregnant. Not the best news in the world, but im from a family of certain values on these matters so i own up. After spending a week with her and discussing what to do, i go back home and start prepare stuff. 3 days later she calls and claims a miscarriage and we sort of end it / dies out (no pun intended) the next few weeks.
Fast forward 7 months and ive moved back to the same city (capital of norway, oslo) and continue my career. Suddenly i see a fb post about this girl getting a child. 9 months and 2 days after her visit. 😒
It turns out, she had been dating another dude for the whole 3 years we had been dating. They even lived together for 2 of the years. She kinda just decided that she "felt better" with him as the dad.
So, basicaly she convinced him he was the dad. So he announced to the whole world and was just about to go on fatherly leave when i found out. I quietly ask her for a paternity test and to no surprise, its stated with 99,99% that i'm the father.
He is not happy (obv) and has to tell the world that nope, just kidding, i'm not a dad.
Anyways, 4 years later its all good and we have 50% shared custody, but dayum it was a few funky months in the start.
Edit:
After some questions and stuff:
Yes i did spend time at her apartment. She had me over every time the other guy was away and such. She also faked-moved into my apartment for 6 months.
I do not feel the need to go into details as its pretty much a closed chapter, but will answer general questions about the situation.
#26
Back in the 80s a good friend got a girl pregnant around the same time my own gf stopped taking the pill without telling me. So now we're two young musicians stuck with dad jobs we weren't looking for. No other friends have babies so we start hanging out together more, taking the kids and gfs to the park and playgrounds etc.
I didn't really know his new gf before but I started to see what a [bad] mom she was. He appeared to be doing all the caring and parenting while she just picked fights with him and ignored her own daughter.
I didn't see them for several weeks and somebody told me he was in county jail, accused by his gf of having [taking advantage] his own 18-month-old daughter. It made zero sense to me. I didn't go visit him because I had warrants so I didn't see him for about 5 months. Finally I ran into him at a show. He'd lost all his front teeth from beatings in county but he seemed positive and happy because he was declared not guilty at his trial. Apparently the gf overstated her false accusation. A medical examiner checked the child and ruled that was impossible so the case fell apart.
He was in the process of trying to get visiting rights to see his kid when the mom suddenly stated it wasn't actually his child. He insisted on a DNA test and learned that she wasn't lying this time. He never saw that little girl again. No legal consequences for the mom and he ODed years later, his not-daughter's name still tattooed on his arm.
#27
This happened to a really good friend of mine. He was a teenager at the time, getting ready to go to university for his first time. Broke up with his ex who came to him a few weeks later and told him she was pregnant and that it was his. He immediately accepted it and dropped out of university before he even started it. Got a full time job, took care of her all through her pregnancy and got everything they needed for when the baby arrived. He was even in the delivery room when the baby was born. Upon the birth, his ex waivered and asked for a paternity test. All this time, the kid wasn't even his. He stuck around for about a month before he realised that this wasn't his burden to bear and re-enrolled in university. He just picked up where he left off and basically got on with life.
#28
I was dating this girl for over one year, relationship was [bad] and basically knew it was going to end...(she was a very jealous person). I had a family member visit us from another country, she was bringing a friend. I had no idea who this second person was but already my ex was being a jealous monster. I told her if she is going to cause a scene at my mothers house the relationship is over on the spot. Of course she causes a scene and I end the relationship. Her my Grandmothers friend was my age...beautiful lady. We hit it off and I made plans to move back to Germany.
Fast forward I come back home after my month long vacation with my family and this girl. I am slowly working on getting my things in order to move away. She tells me she is pregnant :(. We basically decided to work things out for the sake of the child. I end my brief relationship with the German girl.
Fast forward we have the baby....our relationship gets worse and I end it right before the child's first birthday. She takes me for child support and basically suffer through paying for 4 years. I meet my now wife and mother to my kids...I tell her the story and basically say I always had this hunch the child was not mine. I did one of those at home paternity tests and the results were a resounding no! I was devastated I loved the kid and was working towards fighting for full custody. When I confronted her she basically admitted to it all. She immediately stopped the child support although under current state law she doesn't need to. This all happened 6 years ago.
In the end I should have gotten the paternity test done and she should have told me there was another guy. The one who loses out the most is the kid....I am sure he remembers me to a point and the real father is not in his life.
Bi.Felicia 7 hours ago
I wonder why OP chose to cut all ties to this kid, which just prior to learning that he didn't share DNA, was fighting to get full custody of? Obviously child support payments should stop immediately and so crazy that isn't a current state mandated law, luckily she had them stopped immediately. Maybe they'll reconnect at some point later in life, if they desire?
#29
Back in college, I was seeing a girl for a while. Kinda serious, more so for her than me apparently. She winds up pregnant. I was young, didn't really know what to do, but knew if it was mine, I would do the right thing and be the father.
Major caveat - I have a physical condition that makes it highly unlikely that I can actually get anyone knocked up, and she knew this. (long story, and possible identifying info, so I'm leaving the details out)
Anyway, she swears up & down through the whole pregnancy that it could only be mine, so I went along with it. I was out of town the weekend kiddo was born. She apparently tried to reach me, but this was long before cell phones, and I had gone home to a different city with a college friend to party (and in all likelyhood avoid home during that timeframe, since I was reasonably sure it wasn't mine.)
Kiddo was born, I went to see them a few times over the next few weeks, and then shortly after that get called by my folks that she had stopped by their house and introduced it to them as their new grandson, etc. They were ecstatic and happy for me and all the fun stuff they anticipated about being new grandparents.
I had to basically put the brakes on real hard at that point and tell them I was pretty sure that it was not my kid. I pretty much knew after I saw it. One look at it and there was just no connection at all. It was a baby, but I saw nothing there I recognized as "mine" in any way shape or form.
Due to the fact that she was already on the dole, the state mandated a paternity test. I figured I just might as well get it over with and showed up for the appointment when they told me to.
Once the results came back, there was a less than 1% chance it was mine. I turned around, never looked back.
Only saw her twice since then, and it's been 20+ years now, but both times she was almost in tears trying to apologize for doing that to me back then. I heard through the grapevine who ended up being the actual father, and he already had a few bastards running around, so he was no help to them at all. Not only that but his poor health and [illegal substances] issues put him in an early grave, so that poor kid had no father figure growing up.
Thankfully, I kept a level head through the whole ordeal, and even got a letter of commendation from the county prosecutors office saying that they wished even half the potential fathers were half as cooperative as I had been.
TL;DR - If you're gonna try and pin a kid on someone, make sure it's theirs if there's going to be a mandatory DNA test.
#30
Thought my dad was my dad until I was 14, then he (while drunk) told me he wasn't. He stopped having me visit for about 2 years, and has since wandered back into my life from time to time. I'm 28, and don't have parents because my mom cheated, blames me for it, and my 'dad' is an alcoholic that can't deal with it.
#31
My time to be semi relevant. My ex broke up with me last November for some idiotic ressons. She calls me up on my birthday (april) and asks me to get food. We hang out all day, things happen and I'm happy again. She calls me the following morning and asked if I'd date a mother, she implies she has a kid and says he's mine. The second I hear this news I do triple shifts and prepare myself for the worse but a week later she asks me to hangout once again. She let's me know that she was with her male friend and decided to break up with me but didn't have it in her to tell me the truth since I was in a very bad place mentally at the time. That's it, no contact, no friendship, nothing.
#32
I thanked my lucky stars and spent a summer vacationing. The mother is now rotting away in the middle of Ohio with her ex-con boyfriend and several very unfortunate kids. Note: the mother... my ex-girlfriend, was one of the most vile, despicable people I've ever known. The idea of being tied to her for the rest of my life through a surprise baby she sprung on me long after we broke up was unbearable.
#33
I was dating a girl for three years who I had trusted. I was 18 at the time. She got pregnant. I was relatively safe but everybody has slip ups. I took my lumps and agreed to fatherhood and did the best I could. During the entirety of the pregnancy she was pretty absent. She wouldn't talk to me much. Sometimes for months at a time. I thought this was odd. It frustrated me beyond belief.
Anyway. So later on a friend of hers started to work with me. He started to hook up with one of my coworkers. She told me he knew my gf and I was thinking oh, cool interesting. Then she told me he [slept with] my gf... Within the last year... I was pissed. I called her up and talked with her. Apparently they did [sleep together]. When we were on some "break." This was entirely made up. The timing didn't match up with the pregnancy though. So I continued on my way to fatherhood with this soon to be mother that was all over the place.
Eventually she gave birth to a little girl. I wasn't there at the birth because I wasn't told it was happening. A couple of months down the road of trying to contact her she let me see my girl. It was great. We started talking again and acting like parents. Well just to make sure that this new baby girl was mine I went ahead and had a paternity test. She was a 1% match...and therefore was not my daughter. I was appalled.
I went to her place and asked her what this was about. She swore up and down if had to be mine. DNA is DNA. She wasn't my little girl after all. I left her. On her knees crying for me to come back to her apartment. I got a text later that day. She told me she remembered... She got black out drunk and [slept with] this guy at a party. She claimed he basically [took advantage] her. I don't believe this at all.
So I went through 9 months of a pregnancy and 3 months of actual fatherhood before I found out. Now I don't talk to her at all. I hear rumors occasionally about her. I am glad she is no longer in my life.
TLDR: F**k that b***h.
#34
I’ve read quite a few articles about people finding out there relatives or offspring aren’t related to them using the dna kits (23 and me, etc….) now readily available everywhere.
One article I read was a family was sitting at the dinner table and the father came home and told his daughter who was at the dinner table with his wife he picked up the thing the daughter needed for school. So the mom being curious asked what it was. So the daughter says oh nothing. We’re doing a family tree/ancestry project for school. Dad picked me up a kit. The moms face turned totally white. And the dad had to run over and ask what was wrong. Well the mom broke right there. And told him that the daughter wasn’t there’s. Tore the whole family apart.
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What do you think ?
Lyone Fein 2 hours ago
It was uplifting to read so many stories of young men who decided to just keep loving the child they had been parenting. These are good men.
Hidalgo 8 hours ago
All newborns should be dna tested shortly after birth. Not just for paternity, but for any disease
Huddo's sister 5 hours ago
Unfortunately those tests cost money and still might not show up everything. People who suspect there are genetic conditions in their family are better off doing the tests themselves before having kids, but again, costs are high for many of the lesser common conditions.
Load More Replies... Lyone Fein 2 hours ago
It was uplifting to read so many stories of young men who decided to just keep loving the child they had been parenting. These are good men.
Hidalgo 8 hours ago
All newborns should be dna tested shortly after birth. Not just for paternity, but for any disease
Huddo's sister 5 hours ago
Unfortunately those tests cost money and still might not show up everything. People who suspect there are genetic conditions in their family are better off doing the tests themselves before having kids, but again, costs are high for many of the lesser common conditions.
Load More Replies... You May Like "I Was Completely Disowned": Man Confronts Parents Who Hired A PI To Track Him Down After 15 Years Mom Lets Aunt Raise Her Son Because He "Ruins Their Picture Perfect Family," Shocked He Starts Calling Her Mom “Stuff Gets Broken”: Dad Tries To Protect His Son’s Gift From His Ex’s New Family, Drama Ensues
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