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The phrase "all men are pigs" is the same as "all women are desperate for attention." It's a sweeping generalization that reduces people to stereotypes. Before making assumptions like that, it’s only fair to listen to what they have to say.
There’s a discussion on Threads where married men have been opening up about how they react to finding other women attractive. Their candid responses keep things grounded and sparked a wider conversation about commitment, honesty, and self-control in long-term relationships.
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#2
There is nothing wrong with attraction. You simply don’t disrespect yourself or your partner.
#3
I go, "oh, she's attractive." Then I get on with my life. I'm married, not blind.
#4
An attractive woman may brighten a moment, but my wife brightens my life.
#5
That's easy. There are a lot attractive women. BUT
A combination of attractive, sensual, clever independent, humble and positive. That would be difficult.
#6
Me: “Oh she’s hot!” *shows wife*
Her: “D**n she is hot..”
Believe it or not, I am emotionally intelligent enough to find women attractive and still obsess over my wife.
#7
Women are gonna be attractive, that’s normal. Realizing you got more than just attraction at home is the flex though.
#8
When I was married, it was always about being committed to my wife, no one else had a place.
#9
I can acknowledge that other women are attractive, but I don’t entertain the idea or stare. My eyes and my heart for my wife and my wife only.
#10
It’s really simple. We chose each other. ofc there are attractive people everywhere. Hell, I hope I seem attractive. The difference is love. Sedimentary layers of bedrock that are as hard as I am for my wife / my love.
#11
My wife of 30 years was my dream girl the first time I saw her. Confident, tough, drop-dead GORGEOUS. She was walking across our production floor at work, with her cover-alls open, sleeves tied around her waist. Gawd- i was lost. From that day to this, she's been the only girl I think about. I've made sure every day that she knows it. She knows what she means to me. I'm always proving it to her. Over & over.
#12
In 39 years, I haven’t seen anyone in the wild as hot as my wife. If I happen to see one on tv, I’ll say to her “she’s almost as hot as you.”
#13
There's nothing wrong with finding someone attractive, hell my wife and I are both queer and can find the same person attractive. But there is nobody in this universe that I am MORE attracted to than my wife. The sun rises and sets on her and her alone.
#14
We don't deal with other "attractive women". In fact, We dont even see other women in the room. The coolest underrated Superpower when you find your Person.
#15
Why some childish people think that men can only find their wife attractive ? Im married and I sometimes see other men that I find them attractive / hot. I then move on with my life LOL. Finding someone attractive just means you can see beauty and thats it. Doesnt have anything to do with being unfaithful or not lol.
John Caldwell 48 minutes ago
Married/committed does not mean blind, being attracted to someone doesn’t mean you want to be unfaithful, just means you see beauty in people
#16
The same way I deal with passing by Krispy Kreme when the HOT sign is on:
KEEP GOING.
Because I’ve got “ALL YOU CAN EAT” hot donuts at home
#17
Women are beautiful and attractive. You can find someone attractive and still be a loyal husband. We are married, not blind. I can see an attractive woman, admire her beauty, and go on with my day knowing I have the best girl at home.
#18
I'm not sure what you mean by "deal with". I'm not a eunuch, of course I appreciate the sight of an attractive lady, but I don't ogle. And my wife is abundantly all the woman I need.
#19
Im attracted to my wife. There are other pretty women in this world yes and we acknowledge that, but I only want/ am obsessed with my girl who I think is the most perfect thing ever
#20
You say “oh she’s attractive, your wife either says “yeah she is” or “ I don’t think so” and you move on lol it’s not that deep when your married to the right one
#21
It’s the same thing as owning a really beautiful home, or a really amazing truck….you see other trucks that are equally cool, but they’re not a “threat” to your love for your home or truck. Because it’s like that’s sick but “I have one of those too” and it’s YOURS too so there’s some pride and favoritism there involved as well. You should take pride in your girl fr. Just like I take pride in my truck 😂 I love that goddamn truck, it’s perfect FOR ME
#22
It’s perfectly OK to recognize that other women are attractive, chances are they put work into it just as men care about their appearance. Appreciating that in someone doesn’t have to be sexual, it can be simple respect. It has nothing to do with your marriage or your love for your spouse.
#23
When you get married you don't go blind, commitment is a choice, There are always attractive people out there but I find the calibre of the woman I married couldnt be matched and that's the reason I chose her as my wife.
Janet Sparrow 1 hour ago
But I think it takes a level of maturity to not translate that “oh she’s hot” into “I’ve gotta have her.”
#24
in Austria we have a saying: you can read the menu but you eat at home.
I sometimes say "that's an attractive woman" to my partner, and she is agreeing. but I also say "that's an attractive man" and if she says it, it's ok as well.
#25
This is why self-love is key. Why would I ever marry someone I don't want to be around. Who's opinions I don't value? Just because I don't want to be alone. Not me Ms Joy. I'll be alone and comfortable with it than have my time wasted and to waste anyone else's time.
#26
I find a woman attractive. I say to myself, "Wow, she's pretty." Then I go and kiss my wife because there's no one else on Earth who treats me as well as she does and there's no way I could break her heart by cheating.
#27
The same way I deal with finding men attractive. You go “that dudes handsome!” In your head and then after 30 seconds you start thinking about how th Epstein files have lead to almost no accountability/ arrests, resignations in the USA government. Outside of the USA it’s led to protests, riots and the forcing of people to step down from leadership, resignation and more… probably because people more focused on simple insecurities.
#28
I can acknowledge a woman is beautiful without it going any further. I’m respectful about it.
Plus have you seen my wife? I’ve been a professional chef for years, and nothing I cook, bake, or prepare would be as good as how much she eats in every pic.
#29
I surprised my wife with a movie date the other day. On the way in, this woman walks past us on her way out. I get my wife’s attention and nodded in the other woman’s direction. Mind you, she had some curves on her. First thing my wife says is “YEESSSSSSS” out loud, and I’m DYING lmao. Meanwhile, there’s a security guard that saw the whole thing and was laughing too. He looks at my wife and asked, “you be lookin too?” And she said “Hell yeah” 😂. My wife just so happens to be my best friend too.
#30
i cannot tell you how frustrating it is for me to get really excited to point out an attractive woman to my boyfriend and he just refuses to look even a little bit in the direction i indicate. I JUST WANT TO BASK IN SOMEONE ELSE’S GLORY
#31
What is with all these people mad about the guys saying they can acknowledge someone is attractive but it doesn’t matter cause they love their wives. That is literally how it works. I am deeply in love with my husband and think he is Gods gift to me but I can still acknowledge a man that isn’t ugly but I don’t go off daydreaming about them lmao
#32
not a married man, or a man at all. but my s/o (man) and I (woman) will be out in public, I will say “oh she’s pretty!” and he will either agree or disagree with me lmfao. then we move on with our day. there is a healthy way to admire beauty of the gender you’re attracted to.
#33
Attraction is natural.
But commitment is a decision.
She stood by me when I had nothing — and I’ll never forget that.
I’m not the most handsome man, but I’m blessed with a woman who chose me anyway
#34
When I was younger, I would “fall in love” with someone for a few stops on the subway, then never see them again.
Now that I’m married with a kid, it’s just “they’re pretty/attractive/whatever”, and go on with my day because I’m perfectly happy where I am in life.
(My wife and I also comment on attractive/well dressed/eclectic people when we’re out together…people are interesting.)
Janet Sparrow 1 hour ago
Us too. When we see a pretty women we’re like “oh she’s so pretty!” It makes me so happy! 💕
#35
Firstly my wife is the most attractive woman in the world 😁
Secondly, your brain automatically appreciates that someone is objectively attractive - that’s just human.
The difference is that we also have moral agency, and knowing what is right and wrong.
It is objectively wrong to make vows, and then break them just because you find someone attractive.
So your brain appreciates that someone is attractive, and then you just get on with the rest of your day. There’s nothing to ‘deal’ with.
#36
Not a married man but there’s a line between seeing an attractive woman and lusting after her. I see beautiful women all the time but I’m not sexually attracted to women so it’s just like oh she’s gorgeous and carry on. The issue is that for men they often become lustful and fantasize not all but most especially those that watch porn just lustful asf
Janet Sparrow 1 hour ago
Exactly. It takes emotional maturity to see a beautiful person and not lust over them simply because they’re beautiful.
#37
Me: She’s pretty hot, huh? My Wife: Oh TOTALLY. *we proceed to finish our dinner and go home to our cat*
#38
Deal? There’s nothing to deal with. Attractive people will always exist. You choose to value what you’ve built. ALIGNMENT OVER ATTRACTION … men understand that.
#39
“You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work.” - Silent Bob in Clerka
#40
She might be a 10 but my fiancè has 1000 personalities I go home to. It excites me to get home to see which one I’m meeting tonight.
#41
Once you’ve given a woman a pebble and she accepts it, that means you’re mates for life. We flap our flippers and squawk to keep other women away.
#42
There are women with desirable who are clearly beautiful. But there is no one that holds a candle to my wife. She is the default by which I compare the whole world.
#43
I’m honest with myself. She’s attractive and I appreciate her beauty, there is no shame or harm in that. It’s everything that comes after that creates problems. But appreciate? Absolutely.
#44
My wife has stuck with me through thick and thin for 23 years. I can't imagine my life without her. She is my everything. There's nothing wrong with finding another woman attractive. She's not not as attractive as my wife.
#45
They can be attractive all they want. My wife is my person, she gets me. Truly understands me. Gives me a reason to keep going. And she’s hot af lol plus we don’t keep anything from each other so I tell her if I see someone attractive and she either agrees or doesn’t
#46
I see them becaus I have eyes but that’s about all. I ain’t missing out on nothing. My wife is fine. I won the prize.
#48
Accept you’re attracted but don’t act on it. You’re in a marriage not in a monastery. Also don’t have such an ego to assume your partner doesn’t find other people attractive.
#49
I don’t find other women attractive. Said another way, I’m not attracted to any woman but her. The accumulated experiences, understanding, loving gestures, family building, etc., that I’ve shared with this woman have completely inoculated me against any desire for another woman. She has my heart. That’s it. And she is super fine.
#50
My husband gets hit on at the grocery store and I watch it happen. I think it's great. Usually when she starts talking to him he mentions me. When I go to some places just to get a coffee and he does not come in with me I usually get it for free. 🤣 He always says " did your boyfriend give you free coffee again?" 🤣 We tease each other. Flirting is one thing. I also have self esteem though.
Janet Sparrow 1 hour ago
We are seniors and my husband is a silver fox. I’ve been next to him at the bar and a woman will walk over to us and insert herself between us. I always find it amusing. I can never tell if they KNOW we’re together or not. Lol
#51
My wife usually notices her first, but when I’m by myself I don’t pay attention to women who don’t have my last name
#52
My husband to me: oh wow babe look *points at attractive woman* Me if I also think shes attractive: oh wow! Shes really pretty 😍 Me if I don't think shes attractive: really? You like that? Oh okay, shes not my type. And thats that usually.
#53
Just because someone is attractive doesn’t mean I am attracted to them. I can appreciate the Mona Lisa but I am not gonna buy it. The love I have for my wife, , the passion, the absolute connection of our souls is what binds us forever.
#54
I appreciate that when I open your eyes in every morning, this one lady next to me is the only one i get attracted to mentally, physically, spiritually. I am lucky to feel this gratitude every day
#55
I can appreciate other women are attractive, but they don’t hold a candle to my wife. I told her this week she’s my favourite sight my eyes behold every single day. That will never change for me
#56
I say it to my wife “oh she’s attractive” and my wife will either agree or disagree. It ain’t that serious especially when I’m secure and obsessed with my wife.
#57
I don’t find other women attractive. Your eyes might draw to women but attraction never registers. I know that candles can provide light, but why bother when I have the Sun.
#58
I can acknowledge when someone looks good, by no means am I gonna be attracted to them. I’m not gonna give up my girl for Zendaya, but I’m not going around saying she’s ugly.
#59
My wife and I point out people to each other. We are two birds paired for life but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the beauty of the garden we live in. We are secure and trust each other.
#60
It’s very simple: I can acknowledge another woman being attractive, but it doesn’t mean I’m attracted to them. Besides, my wife has already done a fantastic job of ruining me for all other women.
#61
Always remembering that beyond the physical attraction, there’s peace, joy and fun that my wife gives me everyday, which is there because of the special bond that she and I share.
#62
People generally repulse me if I never had to leave my house, I would be fine. so everyone that isn’t my wife kinda annoys the hell out of me or I hate just because they are breathing. My wife makes me a better person as well as a very small assortment of friends whom I enjoy and acquaintances that I tolerate.
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