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30 Important But Hard-To-Swallow Life Truths, As Shared By Women In This Online Group
Life is full of surprises, and nobody can guarantee you that these surprises will only be positive. There are nearly 8 billion folks on this planet, living with their own quirks and personalities, and chances are someone on your way will end up disappointing you. It's safe to say that one of the most crucial reasons why everything is, more or less, emotionally tiring is because we attach our happiness to others.
We struggle to accept our importance, and we only pay attention to how we can satisfy everyone else around us. We put ourselves aside, forgetting that we're supposed to thrive and not survive – though, for most of us, this sort of epiphany comes with age when you finally understand that there's no more room for negativity.
An online user wondered and took it to one of Reddit's communities to ask women to share their own versions of hard-to-swallow pills they've managed to learn over the years. The post received nearly 4K upvotes and 1.5K worth of emotional yet encouraging stories.
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You can do everything right and still get f**ked. You can’t control that.
"It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life." - Jean-Luc Picard
That no one cares. This sounds pessimistic but I really don’t mean it that way. When it comes to medical issues, boundaries with friends, or relationships, no one cares about you the way you do, and no one will advocate for you the way you can. You need to value yourself and take action as if no one else will, because in all likelihood, they won’t.
I tell my daughter this bc I want her to be prepared when I'm not here anymore. I will fight for her tooth and nail but I still don't know exactly what she's going through only she does and she needs to learn how to advocate for herself even if it means a raging angry fight.
Don’t assume people will treat you with the same kindness you treated them with.
You can be every thing they want- and they will want something else.
I am never going to be thin and that’s perfectly fine. Turns out it’s a lot easier to live your life when you’re not constantly consumed with hating your own body!
You can do everything right in college and have honors, connections, and experience, and still not find a career when you graduate
If a man is pushy about small things he will probably be pushy in other ways too.
I wish this was talked about more. I've been married to a "pushy" guy for 20 years. The implication in this post is that it veers towards sexual or physical abuse, but it doesn't always. My husband is neither, but his pushiness has destroyed parts of our life that we can never fully repair. Pushy people aren't all motivated by the same things, but the end result will be horrifying regardless, if unchecked. Rule #1 in life, set clear boundaries. Rule #2, maintain those boundaries at all costs.
Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay. Regardless of how much it hurts, sometimes you just have to let people go.
“That’s life And as funny as it may seem Some people get their kicks Stomping on a dream But I don't let it, let it get me down Cause this fine old world, it keeps spinnin' around” -Frank Sinatra
That sometimes you can be the toxic one, even if you have the best intentions. Accountability is important
Your parents are people too with their own issues.
My parent's issues were each other. One night when I was 15, they got into a huge fight. I had had enough of this in my life. I got up, took my mother's car and left. I came back the next morning to get some clothes, and my mom shows up. I told her I was leaving and would not come back until they divorced, and I didn't. She gave me $200 and the car to use. I left town, and they divorced. We were all happier. Parents should never stay together " for the kids." All you end up with is mentally disabled children. I speak from experience.
That misogyny is so deeply ingrained in most cultures that most people don't recognize it when they look it in the eyes.
And that women, acting from internalized misogyny, can be as dangerous to you in non-sexual ways as men.
That there is often little to no correlation between effort and outcome. I've been successful at some things with little effort and a lot of luck. I've poured my entire soul into other things and still utterly failed.
Just because you’re not good at something you love, doesn’t mean you should stop doing it ❤️ you don’t have to be a master at everything you do, if ur a bad singer, sing your heart out, if you’re a bad drawer, draw everyday:) be kind to yourself, you deserve it
There’s going to come a point where the right thing to do won’t feel good at all. There are some things in life that you have to do, and they will break you down and hurt more than anything. But they’re still the right thing. And you will have to live with that.
Your parents don’t actually always know or want what’s best for you, sometimes it is what’s best for them and/or the society they lived in.
After about the age of 25 I realized I had to work to stay healthy - physically and otherwise. Did not see that coming and it felt really unfair at first, then I realized that if that's my bar for unfair then I've had a pretty f**king good life so far and I should count my blessings and go run.
I'm a runner and it gets harder every year to keep going. Got a peloton to see if that's easier. It's not. Exercise and watching your calorie intake is the only thing that keeps you feeling good at every age. You will still go through middle age and gain weight and have pain and have some issues w your health but taking care of yourself is all you really have that helps ease aging
I overthink too much. Don't overthink everything or you will make yourself miserable.
People still dont owe you anything even if you're willing to risk your life for them. It's still their decision if they're gonna lift a finger for you and you shouldn't feel entitled for anyone's time and attention.
Very few people care about you. Like at all. Even most of your acquaintances and relatives; often even so-called friends.
Exceptions exist for a select small group of "special" people.
It always baffles me at how much love and respect I feel for friends or distant family, and how little I get back. It hurts me to know that they don’t care about me like I care about them and it confuses me, like am I a bad person? Is that why they don’t return my respect. You would think it’s just common courtesy
People will think the worst of you no matter how good you try to be.
That's just me. My parents and teachers both do not understand me enough. My mum does not try to understand me and bit. No matter what I do mom is only able to see the bad in it. But I'm okay. I hope.
You will be once you're old enough to get away from parents. Talking to your family is a choice not a necessity. Kudos for recognizing that what they think doesn't matter, you be you.
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This is not true at all, most people are too busy worrying about themselves and their own issues to be negatively judging you. I grew up with un-supporting parents but I have had very supportive partners and friends that have seen more in me than I have seen in my self at times. You have to try and lose the victim mindset(not easy) and cut toxic people out of your life.
People will judge your book by the review given by others without reading it for themselves. You can be the nicest person, and they will still despise you over what they heard, true or not.
Nope. Not even a little bit. The people who think the worst of you may do so no matter what. Those people don't matter. Most people like to know good people and look for that in others. If you live your life with the massive negativity and judgement on this list you might be putting out some petty and ugly vibes.
Yeah this goes for any gender. Moved out at 21. (Only stuck around because of my dad's heart attack). Never asked for money. Bought my own vehicle. Let a friend room with my after a nasty divorce. She proposed to me. Bought a house with no help or advice from them. She has been loyal. Gave birth to two kids. I had a car wreck and am on disability.----------parents view I am a deadbeat who cant hold job and she was a w* who got pregnant before marriage(two years time between marriage and first kid). Still don't see why they paint this picture as they have nothing to gain
One thing I learned after becoming disabled myself is that many people are terrified of disability, and will go to cruel lengths to distance themselves from it, and blame us for it no matter the actual cause.
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I would change this to "some people" ...not just a blanket statement encompassing everyone.
"Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often."
So ...let them... I always say what you eat doesn't make me sh@! and what you think of me is none of my damn business!
Had more problems with this one as a child and into young adulthood. Took years for me to realize that their opinions were crap And I didn’t care to have anything to do with gossipers. I think that’s why I’m an introvert
How about, "Don't value yourself based upon others opinions." People are allowed to think and do what they want. But don't allow ANYONE to tell you what you're worth. Other people get off on comparing their lives. It's a waste of time. You'll never live up to expectations and YOU are worth more than what anyone says. Work hard and live life on your own terms. If you set the rules to the game, you always win. If you play by their rules *(which always change) you'll lose.
What until you have kids. Then come back later and see if your opinions changed on parenting.
Remember... Some very successfull people have learned to just not give a s**t about what others think!
This is a ridiculous and destructive message to tell a young person. I tell my son, “find your people,” the ones who will get you. They are out there. Find your pocket. But you can’t do that by assuming negative intent. You have to do the work. Most people want to be liked.
I learned this lesson hard. A co-worker I helped with a new car, 401k, security cameras, she couldn't read or write but had amazing credit and life. There happen to be an investigation into a worker for suspicion of how they got their job in another department. It was scandal. She said I knew things I didn't. She threw me under the bus. She admitted that she knew people could lose their job if she named others, she lost her one and only job since she was 18 and at 40, she had no other skills, she was banned from ever returning. I helped that old woman through so much, my mother before she passed away warned me not to trust her... I was naive.
This is sad but true. It's a reality check to find out what people really think about you even though you thought you were just being a good person.
This is me, and it's how I learned to never totally trust anyone with my information again. The judgement was harsh, and my mental health was completely ignored for their gossip. It still hurts, and they were the last person who I thought be so judgemental. But alas, some true colors were shown that day. And they were gross.
I don't find this to be true, in most cases, around me. People do learn what they can expect of you, I wouldn't call that "the worst", in me... By far.
However, even sociopaths think that nobody understands them (as opposed to psychopaths who know that they are bad and don't care).
They can think what they want. It's what YOU think that matters. Words of advice: Never let an a$$hole rent space in your head. Always make sure the juice is worth the squeeze.
"Some" people, and that still doesn't mean you should not try to be good. As much as we all need validation form outside, do things that make you proud of yourself, things that you can honestly tell yourself were the right ones to do, because in the end how we judge ourselves is more important than how others see you.
The key is whole heartily, not caring what others think. I love it.
They're just jelly anyway!! Haters are always gonna hate, that's just what they do 💯🙂 It's all they know how to do rly.. just smile and go on living your best life
People are always gonna see what they want and believe what they want don't ever go out of your way to try to get someone to accept you. Anyone that can accept you for you and like you as a person you are don't need to be in your life anyway so why even bother
This is because people want to protect themselves from getting hurt by having low expectations on others. Most of the time, it's not personal. The question is how did our society come to this?
You can wait until circumstance motivates you out of your bad habits, but banking on future motivation risks you wasting most of your life.
You can count on both, just don’t let yourself wait too long to get motivation.
That seeing someone's potential means nothing unless they try to fulfill it on their own
Yeah, and just because someone is good at something doesnt' mean they have an interest in pursuing a career out of it or will do anything for you for free. If you really value someone's craft, then put value in it in return by paying them.
That the only person who’s gonna take care of me, is me.
If they like you, you won’t be confused
I'm always confused. Throwing another human in the mix doesn't make my brain work
Only you can be the hero you needed as a kid.
Ooh, it's called reparenting in some therapy models. Learning to talk to yourself in a nurturing parent voice and learning to advocate for yourself is hard but worth it.
"You let them treat you that way."
-My therapist on the takers in my life of giving endlessly.
And we do. For whatever reason, we go above and beyond to help. Over and over again. I finally had to delete a couple of people from my life, literally. It's hard, but I am better for it.
Looks do matter. To be successful, you need to put effort in your appearance to get the proper respect you deserve. Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg may be able to get away with wearing the same shirt and jeans but if you do it, no one will take you seriously
Be clean and do your job. Nobody notices you as much as you notice yourself.
He's just not into you
Note: this post originally had 36 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
So many 'You can only trust yourself' type of posts. I find it a little sad (in a non-condescending way).
We are social creatures. We need to trust others. So these are just negative views. Instead of being narcissistic jerks we need to be loving and understanding. Yes people have bad days but as a whole we shouldn't be doing things that hurt others. This "me first" mentality is destroying humanity. Continue being kind, hold the door for someone, smile and cut out the sarcasm the world will be better for it.
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You can get used to anything. Don't get used to the thing that makes you complacent.
I had a friend, she was chilling with another person, starting a relationship. One day her buddy came home from work and told my friend that if she was going to use her things, she needed to put them back the way she found them. My friend was upset and hurt. I spent almost a week validating her feelings <——key word.. When the time was right I asked her…”do you want to know how I perceive this issue, having not dog in the fight”, she said yes. I told her she was 100% in the wrong and why, and asked her to put herself in her buddy’s position. She stared at me wide eyed, picked up the phone to immediately start to apologize to her buddy. Some people need those feelings validated and expressed before they can see or accept reality. That’s okay, it was her process. Not good, not bad, not right, not wrong. The process just is, it’s what you do with the knowledge you gain that matters. Some of us can do better, some are doing all they can, some don’t give a s**t.
Some of these are mildly subjective I think. EDIT: lol VERY subjective
You can't make someone love you more by trying to make them love someone else less.
This is a real pessimistic way of looking at life and people. We need to trust others, love one another, dare to be loved and hurt by others (Because this is how we learn)and most of all dream big! Life's to big for this negative pessimistic point of view.
Learn to say "No", professionally and socially. People want your time, money, or emotions. While helping can be what makes you happy, sometimes it's what drains you.
People need to learn they can't change others. They are entitled to their own opinions and to be who they want. You can only change your own actions to become the best person you can. Once we all figure that out, we'll all be in a better place.
I love how it blames men mostly.. How about you guys tell little girls stop being wh#$- or stop idolizing musical woman who are half naked always.. Stop thinking only fans makes you independent.. No showing your body just because it's yours doesn't make it right.. It's no feminism it's stupidity.. Stop blaming men and start looking in the mirror.. sad to see these post... They always blame some race or gender ands it pathetic
Oh. This hit a nerve ehh? Guilty conscience? Been accused of being an ass much? Wondering why women don't like you?
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You are not good thru and thru, and neither are you totally evil. Everyone has both good and bad sides. The trick is to work to strengthen your good sides and make the bad sides smaller.
These people should move to republican land. None of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
These people should move to republican land, none of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
This could have been an article to people, not just women. #31, people will try to divide you into tribes to increase their control over you.
Life wouldn't be that difficult if you ladies would just accept the facts women belong in the home, behind the kitchen. Raising the children and instilling core values and morals. This is a man's world. And you lack the strength to change that. Why did we change what was working for hundreds of years. Capitalism happened. A cheaper work force, means more profits for big businesses. Corporate Capitalist Pigs. Women had a moment, but they squandered that chance. Now it time to rein that s**t in!
if you read all of these and feel like garbage afterwards, you might just not be one of those people who experience these issues every day. we need to accept that people aren’t always going to be there for us and that our issues aren’t going to disappear bc we had a good day. these will lead to more healing than you want to believe. ik i sure need to hear it from time to time. reminds me that i can’t expect the world to heal bc i want it to. i can only do what i can do and that’s okay.
So of this blend in together, or just a tad ignorant, all of this applies to all sexes to not just women. Still fun read on what average people think. =:3
It's not that other people suck. It's just that you can't change anyone but yourself. If you need a situation you're in to change, you need to change yourself. Because you are the only one that you CAN change.
The idea that, "There is someone for everyone", is a load of crap. I'm a nice and decent human being with my sh°t together. I don't brag about it, feel entitled, or think I'm owed anything. It's just who I am. Yet, I've been alone most of my life. Women are not attracted to me, even though I'm average looking. I just can't understand why the a**holes of the world are the ones who end up in relationships, and are the ones who women are attracted to. No wonder why some women think that all men are jerks.
So many 'You can only trust yourself' type of posts. I find it a little sad (in a non-condescending way).
We are social creatures. We need to trust others. So these are just negative views. Instead of being narcissistic jerks we need to be loving and understanding. Yes people have bad days but as a whole we shouldn't be doing things that hurt others. This "me first" mentality is destroying humanity. Continue being kind, hold the door for someone, smile and cut out the sarcasm the world will be better for it.
Load More Replies... You can get used to anything. Don't get used to the thing that makes you complacent.
I had a friend, she was chilling with another person, starting a relationship. One day her buddy came home from work and told my friend that if she was going to use her things, she needed to put them back the way she found them. My friend was upset and hurt. I spent almost a week validating her feelings <——key word.. When the time was right I asked her…”do you want to know how I perceive this issue, having not dog in the fight”, she said yes. I told her she was 100% in the wrong and why, and asked her to put herself in her buddy’s position. She stared at me wide eyed, picked up the phone to immediately start to apologize to her buddy. Some people need those feelings validated and expressed before they can see or accept reality. That’s okay, it was her process. Not good, not bad, not right, not wrong. The process just is, it’s what you do with the knowledge you gain that matters. Some of us can do better, some are doing all they can, some don’t give a s**t.
Some of these are mildly subjective I think. EDIT: lol VERY subjective
You can't make someone love you more by trying to make them love someone else less.
This is a real pessimistic way of looking at life and people. We need to trust others, love one another, dare to be loved and hurt by others (Because this is how we learn)and most of all dream big! Life's to big for this negative pessimistic point of view.
Learn to say "No", professionally and socially. People want your time, money, or emotions. While helping can be what makes you happy, sometimes it's what drains you.
People need to learn they can't change others. They are entitled to their own opinions and to be who they want. You can only change your own actions to become the best person you can. Once we all figure that out, we'll all be in a better place.
I love how it blames men mostly.. How about you guys tell little girls stop being wh#$- or stop idolizing musical woman who are half naked always.. Stop thinking only fans makes you independent.. No showing your body just because it's yours doesn't make it right.. It's no feminism it's stupidity.. Stop blaming men and start looking in the mirror.. sad to see these post... They always blame some race or gender ands it pathetic
Oh. This hit a nerve ehh? Guilty conscience? Been accused of being an ass much? Wondering why women don't like you?
Load More Replies... You are not good thru and thru, and neither are you totally evil. Everyone has both good and bad sides. The trick is to work to strengthen your good sides and make the bad sides smaller.
These people should move to republican land. None of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
These people should move to republican land, none of that bad stuff happens in republican land.
This could have been an article to people, not just women. #31, people will try to divide you into tribes to increase their control over you.
Life wouldn't be that difficult if you ladies would just accept the facts women belong in the home, behind the kitchen. Raising the children and instilling core values and morals. This is a man's world. And you lack the strength to change that. Why did we change what was working for hundreds of years. Capitalism happened. A cheaper work force, means more profits for big businesses. Corporate Capitalist Pigs. Women had a moment, but they squandered that chance. Now it time to rein that s**t in!
if you read all of these and feel like garbage afterwards, you might just not be one of those people who experience these issues every day. we need to accept that people aren’t always going to be there for us and that our issues aren’t going to disappear bc we had a good day. these will lead to more healing than you want to believe. ik i sure need to hear it from time to time. reminds me that i can’t expect the world to heal bc i want it to. i can only do what i can do and that’s okay.
So of this blend in together, or just a tad ignorant, all of this applies to all sexes to not just women. Still fun read on what average people think. =:3
It's not that other people suck. It's just that you can't change anyone but yourself. If you need a situation you're in to change, you need to change yourself. Because you are the only one that you CAN change.
The idea that, "There is someone for everyone", is a load of crap. I'm a nice and decent human being with my sh°t together. I don't brag about it, feel entitled, or think I'm owed anything. It's just who I am. Yet, I've been alone most of my life. Women are not attracted to me, even though I'm average looking. I just can't understand why the a**holes of the world are the ones who end up in relationships, and are the ones who women are attracted to. No wonder why some women think that all men are jerks.
