30 Bits Of Etiquette You Might Not Be Aware Of, As Pointed Out By This Etiquette Expert

Meet Katarina, an etiquette instructor and a lover of all things elegance. Her online presence is essentially dedicated to educating the lovely folks on the internet about the proper way to conduct oneself in public.

Now, there is a stereotypical belief that etiquette is something by and for the kind of high-brow, snobby society that is ultra-posh, drinks wine and says hmm, quite all the time. Though funny, the truth, however, is that etiquette is a form of respect and self-improvement, and it doesn’t matter which layer of society you represent.

“[Etiquette] teaches us how to become the best, most refined versions of ourselves, all while being nice to others and the surroundings,” Katarina defines the term in her blog. And, just like violence begets violence, being nice and respectful to another will beget more of that. If anything, everyone deserves some respect.

In an interview with Bored Panda, Katarina emphasized the importance and relevance of etiquette within today's context:

"I believe etiquette is just as relevant as it was 50 or 100 years ago. It might seem like the standing pillars of etiquette are based on what wine glass we pair with what wine or in which hand we hold a fork. But in reality, etiquette stretches far beyond. It is about how we behave in daily situations as well as on special occasions, and undoubtedly, people always remember what impression we make on them."

"Etiquette in 2023 is about how we treat our coworkers, how we handle conflict, how we treat the belongings of others, or how we behave towards people we might meet only once during our life, such as in retail. "I strongly believe respectful and polite behavior—what etiquette is about in the first place—is a very relevant and important value even in today’s time."

Katarina’s TikTok channel contains a good number of videos detailing proper Western etiquette that’s still relevant today. Yes, this does include the classics like how to hold a glass and how to use one in the first place. But there’s also instructions and reminders about things some folks just tend to forget sometimes.

No doubt, you’ve heard of the “on a bus, let everyone out first before entering” rule. This applies to pretty much any other structural premise, i.e. let folks leave a store or a coffee shop first before entering.

Etiquette also deals with what some would call social norms or even common sense, like not stealing the thunder from someone else’s wedding. In this case, it’s best to avoid announcing personal achievements or celebrations when you’re at someone else’s celebration—just be there for their happiness.

There’s a lot that Katarina also mentions that pertains to dining venue etiquette. It goes without saying that talking while chewing is definitely not a thing to do, but she dives deeper and explains everything from how to properly eat pastries to how to squeeze a lemon to how to let the waiter know you’re done with your meal.

Coming back to the misconception that etiquette is outdated and old-fashioned, much of it is still very relevant for a number of reasons, but Katarina does point out that there are some aspects that could benefit from a modern touch:

"A common misconception I encounter is that etiquette is a thing of the past because the very first contact people often have with etiquette is through outdated books or guides. Just as everything is evolving, etiquette does too."

"In my opinion, many strict rules related to dress codes don’t need to be followed so vigorously anymore. In the past, a lady was expected to match the color of her shoes to the color of her bag. Many social events also required the presence of a hat. The same goes for pantyhose—is it not necessarily required to wear tights at a social event that occurs after 6PM just like it was back in the day. Nowadays, both gender roles and dress code rules are more blurry, and etiquette shouldn’t be an exception to that."

"I believe it is important to understand that everyone can find in the etiquette world what suits their current lifestyle. And even if some rules might be outdated, we still very much need tips and tricks on how to navigate through a job interview, how to shake hands properly, or how to dress for a special occasion such as a wedding."

Now, just a thought: Is it a breach of etiquette if everyone agrees on disregarding it? Let’s say there’s a coffee shop where neither the staff nor its clientele care that everyone eats croissants in ways that leave a mess behind? Would this new social norm or set of rules become ‘the new etiquette’ within this establishment?

Katarina elaborates that, in the traditional and general sense, it would be a breach of etiquette. Just like it doesn't change the fact that croissants are flaky pastries that leave a mess if you handle them like a barbarian. Agreeing or disagreeing on etiquette in this case doesn't magically rewrite the rules, as that would go against the basic definition of etiquette, which is behaving respectfully on social and other settings.

However, just like social norms, breaching the rules of etiquette isn't illegal. And so everyone is free to choose to regard or disregard them. Though, it is interesting to note that shaming someone for breaching rules is a breach of etiquette in and of itself. Nobody deserves a stink-eye for how they approach a croissant.

"I wish people would understand that modern etiquette is not an equivalent of snobbish behavior reserved only for a few. In fact, everyone can get inspired and find etiquette useful depending on their situation," concluded Katarina.

"I am a strong believer that we could all be a bit nicer to each other as well as our surroundings, and this can be achieved in many small or big ways."

Be sure to check out more from Katarina on your preferred social medium of choice (TikTok, YouTube, or Instagram). Katarina is also a published author and her Guide to Western Dining Etiquette is available for purchase on her website.

But before you do that, the list goes on, and there’s also a comment section for you to write in, explaining the bits of etiquette that you wish more people were aware of, or maybe share a story of how lack of etiquette has led to some dire consequences.