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30 Behaviors People Find Difficult To Tolerate So They Judge Others For It
Humans evolved to be compassionate and understand other people’s pain, unfortunate circumstances or irrational behavior. It might be because they have gone through it themselves, they can imagine how it might feel or just believe the person when they share how hard it is for them.
Even though we are compassionate, we can’t help but be judgemental as well. There are things that annoy us and we can’t find an excuse or meaning behind certain behaviors, although we often keep it to ourselves.
People were given the opportunity to vent about it on Reddit when nosovietspyhere asked, “What is something you silently judge people for?” In a week, more than 15k people joined the thread and over 19k people upvoted it confessing what behaviors they simply don’t understand and make them dislike the people conducting them.
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According to Emma Seppälä, a Yale lecturer and a best-selling author, “Science shows that we are actually wired for compassion, not self-interest.” Dacher Keltner at the University of California, Berkeley also suggests that we don’t learn compassion, but it’s an innate instinct.
But that doesn’t stop us from judging other people. Bored Panda reached out to motivational speaker, mindset expert and co-founder of Super Connector Media Jen Gottlieb and she revealed that even the most compassionate people can be quick to judge.
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Jen Gottlieb explained the reasons behind such feelings: “It’s usually because [people] feel threatened, insecure or competitive towards the person they are judging. People also tend to make negative judgments towards others when someone does something that reflects an aspect about themselves that they don't like.”
Turns out, it’s a form of projecting which allows judgemental people to feel like they are above others: “Instead of looking inward, they use judgment to deflect those insecurities. Judging someone gives people a false sense of hierarchy or superiority so insecure people often skip over compassion and move straight into judgment to make themselves feel better.”
#5
Being obliviously in the way. Like getting to the end of an escalator and just standing there. Or standing with a group of people in a doorway or aisle. Or stopping to stare at your phone in the middle of the sidewalk. Just move out of the way like 2 steps and everyones life is easier.
#6
I hate when ppl leave their paper coffee cup on a random shelf in Walmart when they're done with it. That's so gross and entitled. Throw away your own garbage.
Even though the person who is judging others might feel like they are superior, Jen Gottlieb believes that such behavior reveals that they might not be very happy with themselves and their lives.
The mindset expert goes into more detail about how a happy and unhappy person thinks, which influences their different views: “I would say that unhappy people are quicker to judge others and happy people are quicker to have an open mind and give people the benefit of the doubt. Unhappy people often use judgment as a tool to attempt to feel more secure within themselves. Happy people don’t need to do that because they tend to come from an abundant/collaborative mindset instead of a competitive one. Happy people also tend to look at people with a more positive lens and see the good. My fiance Chris always says ‘hurt people hurt people.’”
#8
PEOPLE WHO DONT THROW AWAY THEIR TRASH AT FAST FOOD PLACES! Nothing screams disgusting to me more than someone who leaves all their c**p at their table and leaves
#9
Not being able to accept other viewpoints and not ever admitting that their wrong on any point.
The action of judging is always seen as negative and as it turns out, is a personality trait that is more common for unhappy people. Truth to be told, Jen Gottlieb doesn’t see any benefits coming from it. “Being judgemental can definitely hold you back from becoming successful because you are subconsciously (or sometimes consciously) blocking opportunities and relationships before you know what they can do for you!”
The motivational speaker reveals that in her own experience, she may not have formed some of the most powerful relationships with her friends if she had been too judgemental and wouldn’t have given them a chance.
#10
If you are decked out in American Flag attire, I am concluding some things about you. Just the way it is.
#11
Hyping themselves up too much. Saying s**t like “that wouldn’t fly with me, everyone knows not to mess with me” or “people look up to me” or “I’ll have your back until you cross me” like bro this isn’t a movie, relax. I don’t think these people understand that the more you have to hype yourself up, the less people actually think that of you.
But critical thinking and evaluation of your actions are still very important. “There is a difference between being judgmental and thoughtful. It is important to be thoughtful and intentional with your interactions and choices, but the second you find yourself making negative preconceived notions about something or someone, you should pause and ask yourself why you are making the judgment. Did that person activate something in you that made you feel less than? It always starts and ends with the hidden ‘why’ behind the judgment.”
Do you feel like you tend to judge others more when you are feeling unhappy? Do you think there are things you would judge others for even if you are in a good mood? Do you think a little bit of judging might be beneficial? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
#12
loud a*s (tweaked) motor cycles in an urban area. am not alone there though, as apparent by everybody angrily turning in the same direction when those idiots drive by.
#14
The only time I feel I judge people like this is when I'm driving. Speed up, pay attention to the road, use your signals, and don't be an idiot. It's not that hard.
#15
People who act victimized when in reality they’ve never been a victim of anything in their lives. May or may not have some family members that do this and it drives me f*****g insane
#16
When a parent gives a child a "unique" name that's obviously not specific to their culture, but a mispelled or made up name like "Spenser" or "Alivia" or "Mayson".
#19
When I hear people s**t talking someone due to their appearance/ clothes. So f*****g shallow but its not worth calling people like that out.
#20
Kinda niche but... I silently judge people who do extremely hard hikes/dangerous hikes woefully unprepared or wearing sandals/sneakers/inappropriate footwear. I live in Colorado and too often we get headlines related to these kinds of people. There is no excuse with all the resources available to research the hike you're doing. Ultimately, S&R is going to have to use THEIR resources to save your a*s from something that was of your own doing. But I judge silently because I believe that sometimes, you do need to learn the hard way.
#22
Gossiping, like people who only gossip. Because you know that if they gossip to you about everyone else theyre gossiping about you to other people too.
#29
when im at work, on register and someone handing me crumpled up bills, like really you couldnt straighten this out?
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