Almost all kids look at their parents as role models. Growing up, they are our heroes and their opinion and reassurance are the most important things in the world. While getting older, we tend to care what our parents think less and less and we already see them through a different perspective. Now, they are more flawed and maybe not as perfect as they looked in our childhood. Unfortunately, even if we don’t remember much from our childhood, hurtful things that were said by our parents may be engraved in our memories for a while. A passing remark made by our parents may alter how we perceive ourselves or deter us from pursuing our passions. Sadly, most of the hurtful things that we heard in childhood evolve and can have an impact on us for the rest of our lives.
In this online group, members shared their not-so-pleasant memories that they heard from their parents but are still stuck in their head as an adult. Here are 41 of them for you to check out, hopefully none of which you can relate to.
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My little brother was drowning, I tried to save him but also almost drowned, we got rescued by a neighbour. My mom told me that they should've left me in the pond. I haven't spoken to her in many years
"you can't even laugh right"
My mom in a weird moment I thought we were bonding. There's something inherently extra evil when someone tells you your joy is wrong
My dad, very recently, told me (33F) that "I don't have a career and that I was only hired as a charity case". The hardest part is that my dad is normally really supportive and kind and this was not said in anger.
I am a project mgr at a real estate development company that my FIL owns. I have a university degree in a related field (landscape architecture and urban planning) & project mgmt experience from a previous job. I never planned on working for my FIL.
I am getting paid about 1/2 of what I could be making if I worked for another company.
I am sticking it out because my husband and his brothers deserve to inherit the company (their dad uses the inheritance as a way to control them and they have put in so, so much free labour despite never being paid by the company & working FT in completely separate careers). I'm worried my FILs semi-recent drinking habit, mixed with his unrelenting narcissism is going to lead to him squandering the business so I'm staying to keep tabs on it.
I know no one is going to read this. It still feels good to get off my chest.
Dad and FIL don't deserve you...and if you think the business you're working for (family owned or otherwise) is going under, GET OUT! It isn't your responsibility to keep tabs or help or whatever; you need to take care of your own livelihood first and it's not selfish or wrong to make sure you have a roof over your head and food in your belly.
I asked my parents why they gave my sister a lot of money for college and not me. My dad said, "we never thought you could finish."
I have a doctorate now and no student loans ever.
My mother said lots of things like that. I'll just talk about one of the most memorable.
While I went to go inside the the corner store, she stayed behind in the car. Outside the store was a kid that had a crush on me. He grabbed my a*s and I b***hed him out. My mother saw all this. In the following days and weeks she basically accused me of being a s**t, implying that I somehow invited it. She tried convincing my father of this, told her coworkers about it, everything except being a mom infuriated that someone touched their daughter like that.
I'm feeling in a particularly nasty mood reading these, and my immediate reaction to this is that your mum was jealous that you were getting male attention since she's such a turd no man, not even your father, would have given her a second glance. I'm quitting this list now before I say something I regret more
That could explain my own mother's reaction when I caught my dad's male caregiver VIDEOTAPING ME while I was in the shower. My mom refused to fire the caregiver and didn't even reprimand him. The caregiver also used to walk around the house at night (when he was supposed to be watching my dad) and try to peek in the windows while I was playing computer games or sleeping. Nothing was ever said or done to him. My mom was pretty buddy-buddy with him. To this day, she gets mad at ME if I bring it up. Sometimes she'll talk about the caregiver with affection and I'll ask her to STOP talking about him as it triggers the panic and anxiety I felt after catching him taping me in the shower (as far as we know, he still has the tape of it) and she gets píssed at me for bringing up something that "already happened" and says it's "in the past and done with" and I need to "just get over it".
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I was assaulted and nearly raped at 12 years old. My mom completely blamed me and the ONLY thing she was worried about was if I had gotten an std.
I'd say your mom deserves to be hit by a bus, but the bus doesn't deserve that.
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My mom would've likely shouted at me for shouting at the boy and then tell me to get in the car and give me a loooong lecture about being a "lady".
I can empathize with the OP. I became a slút at 16 when some dumbàss wrote "sèxy" in the dust of my car. Yep! That's my fault someone else did that. Now I must be sleeping around. 😒
After years of mental and physical abuse by my mother from being tiny, her brother r*p*d me aged 8 in front and back holes. When I told mother she told that I obviously forced him to do it to me because I was a sl*t. When I begged her to call the police she told me that they wouldn't believe an 8 year old over 2 adults who said nothing happened. My life has been hell and more than 40 years later and 20 years of therapy I'm still having issues.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that! The last can't be changed but I want you to know that God loves you and can give you peace. Please watch this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mxxxH_cX1zg . It's about a lady who came out of 18 years of depression and anxiety... And I know it'll help you too even though your case is different. ❤
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I'm sorry for the way your mother treated you. My mother was the same way. There is absolutely no excuse to treat anyone like that! I will NEVER treat my children the way I was treated.
“You’re not skinny.”
My mom when I mentioned wanting to dress as Elle Woods for Halloween when I was 10. Yeah, I was overweight as a kid but that sure as hell didn’t motive me. To this day, whenever I see an outfit I’d love to wear, I hear that line in my head.
Parents, that s**t doesn’t go away over time. Your kids just learn to put it in the backs of their minds but hear you me, they still remember.
I got a jump rope when I was little. I'd never played with one and was struggling. My abusive dad watched me for a minute, said I was out of shape and left. I was like 5 years old.
She told me I was acting just like my father when I would get upset. I would just get kinda pissy and sulk. He would go on rampages and scream and hit and throw things. He pushed her down the stairs once. I would never lay a finger on my current partner.
The worst part is I look just like him. I was wondering if my mother always expected me to turn into my dad. I prove her wrong every day.
Edit: Thank you to everyone who shared their own stories. It's good to know I'm not alone. Also, to the people suggesting I had previous partners I would actually abuse, I can understand the wording could have been better but how dare you.
“You’re so annoying.” Said to me as a young kid while I was expressing enthusiasm over some new interest. Later my father complains I never tell him anything.
In 7th grade, I was learning how to write better poetry thanks to an awesome teacher. I was so proud of a collection I made, so I let my mom read it. She asked me, “Do you need to be put in a mental asylum?” I was so upset and as I was growing up, I didn’t share any of my art with people, regardless of the medium. Even now, I still hear how serious she was when she asked me that.
What did I do to deserve a fat kid.
This is horrible. People like this should never have kids. Ever. Those poor children shouldn’t have to go through this.
Not me, but a friend after her dad had died. She told her mom that she missed her daddy; I say daddy because she was roughly 8 at the time. "You miss him so much? If you ever say that to me again I swear I'll chain you to his gravestone!"
When I was 14, and struggling with depression. "You're just a psychopath who will die alone cause nobody will ever love you"
There are so many things I really don’t remember most of them…
Once my stepmom called me a lying sneaking little s**t bc she thought I stole her melatonin, when she just used it all and forgot ab it.
But the thing that I think about a lot is my dad once when I was like 10-12. I don’t remember what it was about, I just remember him poking me in the chest with enough force to knock me down, he said “you’re such a piece of s**t, I can’t wait until I get to kick you out” and spat in my face as I was laying on the ground.
That was the man who was supposed to be Superman to me. I was supposed to sit on his shoulders to see a parade or something.
Mom was talking to dad about me while I was right there. I was bullied in high school and it had an effect on my grades. While discussing my education she said:
“Look at him. Can’t you see there’s nothing in there? Just look at how he sits there. He can’t do this. He’s not capable of more. This is it. He’s nothing.”
It gave me a drive and motivation. It also gave me a constant need to prove myself.
EDIT: I never imagined this to get so much replies. For the people wondering: this happened almost 20 years ago and I have now found peace with what she said. My mom has a lot of mental issues but she tries her best. She’s made a lot of progress and is still working on battling her inner demons. And in the end: she has since done a lot more good than bad to me. I will never forget what she said but I no longer hold it against her. People shouldn’t always be reduced to their worst moment.
The edit add made my heart smile for you. I'm glad you've learned to forgive and have empathy rather than apathy.
Why can't you just be normal? I loved art, film, writing & performing. I listened, now I'm 46, stuck in a civil service job that I loathe & unhappy. Wish I hadn't listened.
When I was ~10 years old, my mum once said “If I could go back in time and make sure I never gave birth to you, I would in a heartbeat”
Never forgot it. Talked to her a about it a couple of times years later and her responses ranged from “That never happened” to “oh yeah and I suppose I’m just the worst mother ever” and finally “yeah but I didn’t mean it, you know that”
Messed me up tho tbh. Another one was “[older sibling] was the only child we actually planned for, the rest of you were accidents.” I don’t think it was intended as an insult, but being told your entire existence was an accident as a child kinda stung.
Even if you're a young parent, or had a child at a bad time in your life, this is still a s****y thing to say to your kid. I've told my daughter, as she was older to understand and reason, that I do not regret having her. I just regret the timing, is all, and that I love having her in my life. Wouldn't change anything. Actually, I don't want to go back in time to change a thing. Everything's been done and over with.
I’m a waste of sperm apparently.
Not sure what else they’re doing with their sperm but.. ok.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Not really an insult but is what I’d hear any time I had a negative emotion. Having emotions was grounds for punishment. Now whenever I’m sad I hear that voice in my head.
My father is very good at maths. Especially at doing it in his head. I always was self-conscious about that. One hike in the mountains he gave me a math problem and I went totally blank, tried to frantically solve it in my head but couldn't. Finally he said "You once were intelligent, that's long gone." starting a monologue about how dumb I am.
I was 13 at the time.
In my end thirties we had a chat about chemistry, which I excelled in at school. That led to other subjects and it turned out, he wasn't really good in any subject we shared, except math. I was in most - except math.
Just a reminder that if this is too much, you can stop reading. I’m checking out now. ❤️
I was probably 14, it was ‘97 or ‘98, and I was walking up the stairs one afternoon. My dad was on the landing, looked at me, paused and said “your forehead. It’s ‘gettin zitty with it.’”
I’ve told him about how it’s something I still think about now that I’m an adult. He has zero recollection of something I remember so vividly.
The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
What I heard your dad say was, "I see you have an issue that is normal for your age, but instead of helping you, I'm just going to be a dîck and insult you in a joking manner."
It's taken quite some time to accept that this isn't true but being told I'm selfish and arrogant for speaking about things I might like, or how I'm feeling when I was a young child. Growing up it was more speak of when you were spoken to as you had no real reason to speak otherwise unless you were going to risk being screamed at or physically hurt, and I only ever had sentences based around me saying sorry, thank you and please.
As an adult now, even when someone wants to listen to what I have to say I still occasionally unintentionally cut myself off and stop talking out of fear. And the fact that someone is actually willing to listen to what I have to say - but I'm working through it >:D
Parents really need to understand that their children are going to have opinions that are different from their parents. And they are entirely entitled to those opinions. Your kids are individuals, not your 'mini me'.
I was an only child and lonely. When I asked for a sibling, the response was "if you want to know why we don't have more kids, go look in the mirror".
Through an unfortunate event, I contracted herpes right before I went home on Spring Break. I was naïve and had no sex ed so I didn't know what was going on and I was super sick with a 104.5°F fever. I had to tell my parents. My mom called me a whore. Will never forget that. Thanks mom.
Note: they're mormon 🙃
Ridiculous a majority of people contracted herpes as children and it can lay dormant and flare up for the first time in teenage years. Typically kids share drinks, are kissed indiscriminately on their faces by family and relatives simply as asexual shows of affection and hang around alot of germs when playing outside in general, picking up discarded objects, touching their faces, sticking their fingers in their mouth....so many things.
My parents divorced when I was young and they hate each other. My mom would call me my dad's name when she was really upset. What makes it worse is that I confided in her that I never wanted to be like my dad. She used that ammunition against me
My dad was abusive and he would call me by my mom's name because he hated her and me. My mom's dad did it to her as well.
“You will never amount to anything in life”
Wow .. just wow. Don't parents understand that it's their job to help their children find their passions and reach their potential???
“Don’t be so sensitive.” Even till now as an adult, and I just suddenly realized why I don’t feel safe being emotionally vulnerable with my parents.
Not really an insult:
My brothers and sister lived out in Utah, we are live outside of Cincinnati. My mom, dad and myself drove to Utah because my sister was getting married.
The first night of being settled in, we went out to dinner with my older brother's fiance and her family. My oldest brother was there with his wife, and my sister was there with her fiance. Again, we were there for my sister, yet the first night we were there, going to dinner with my older brother and his soon to be wife and in-laws took priority.
We are sitting at this restaurant, and my mom straight up blurted out my older brother is her favorite child. My oldest brother, my sister and I just looked at each other just like slowly nodding going like ... "No s**t, mom. We know. Doesn't make it okay for you to say it out loud, though."
I was 14, so that was about 20 years ago. Still f*****g stings.
My dad's favorite was my sister. The schools favorite was my sister. The churches favorite was my sister. My relatives favorite was my sister. Well she turned into a severe drug addiction that had her kids taken away, and she's now using needles. My mom loves me and that's all that matters
My sister won a ton of toddler and baby beauty pageants. My dad for awhile didn’t believe I was his daughter.
He told me I wasn’t pretty enough to be his daughter. Well jokes on you dad, we look just alike. My younger sister and I do too lolll,
Killed my self esteem, but I think it’s kinda of funny now.
"Don't be so simple"
"Do you think that looks good?"
"You're a slob"
"You're lazy"
"Stop, you are doing it wrong. Just go away"
"You lack motivation"
"You're wasting your potential"
"You sound like a pig under a gate." I was ~10 and working to expand my vocal range. To this day, I stop singing when others are around.
The one that lives rent free though is, "now, find someone else to take care of you." Thanks for the help, I guess.
Oh yes. I was told I was offending the artist and the writer both when I sang. Luckily later I did realize he was probably right.
Note: this post originally had 41 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
It's really bad when you are thinking, "I wish I had it that good."
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I was told to just suck it up when I had trouble breathing and had to beg them to let me stay home from school because it hurt to breathe. Turns out I had an asthma attack. When my brother had one he was rushed to the hospital and I was left at home alone. Fun times. They also called me a spoiled brat, a jerk, that I was bogarting all the food, and that I was just s******g on their guidelines.
omg I'm so sorry that you had to experience that
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My mom said to me that, like a vampire or a leech, I was sucking away her happiness
Couldn't make the whole list. I just want to gather all of everyone up and declare, "I'm your mum now" and give everyone a hug!
The majority of these are flat-out emotional abuse. Completely inappropriate and unacceptable ways to treat children. I really hope everyone has had the support, healing and therapy to move on from the massively deficient people they were unfortunate to have parent them.
This was a heartbreaking read. Makes all the stupid things my parents ever said to me utterly pale in comparison. It’s sobering, really
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My mom's been making a few off-hand comments about the fact that I'm starting to gain weight. No c**p, Mom, I'm a teenager and I'm still growing. Like "Oh, you're getting a bit too round for that shirt" then?? buy me bigger clothes???
My mom's called me a b***h many of times. The first time when I was about 5 or 6. I wanted a goodnight hug and kiss, because I noticed she had stopped doing for what seemed like a long time. She bent down, I'm guessing too quickly, and I lifted my head up. Ended up bonking my mouth into her nose or mouth. I can't remember. All I remember is laying there crying and in pain. My mom was, likely exaggerating, yelling and had her hand over her mouth and nose. I asked if she was okay, getting more upset cos I didn't want to hurt her. She screamed "YOU B***H!" and that just tore my little heart out. It was just an accident. My daughter has done similar to me and her Grade 1 teacher when she would jump up when someone is bending over. When I was approx. 9 or 10, she said to me "You're just like Veronica Lodge. A spoiled, selfish brat." Idk what for.
Sorry for you! You are a better mom than your mom was.
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My parents regularly claim that I lie to them and forget things on purpose when in reality I just have a s**t memory. I don't want to be failing math I just can't remember anything, I'm genuinely stupid. They keep trying to make me into some gifted kid, I'm like below average at most. My mom has also said, both when I was around 6-8, that if she let me eat the way I wanted to I would be fat and that I don't have mental health problems, I'm just lazy. Both of which are true, I'm fairly sure I'm starting to get to an unhealthy weight (accidentally ate a school lunch a few days ago and have been eating lunches since them which is f*****g up my entire thing) and I am lazy as f**k, but I feel like you might not want to say that to a small child?
Having a s**t memory doesn't mean you are stupid. Just means that what you are supposed to be learning is not going in or you can't retrieve the information for some reason (I can empathise!!). This is probably because you learn in a different way to the standard way being taught. It is believed that there are 4 predominant learning styles: Visual, Auditory, Read/Write, and Kinaesthetic. You might just need to find the right one for you. I see your comments on BP and you do NOT come across as stupid in anyway.
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I was horribly bullied last year. I was threatened and teased and such, and scared for my life at some points. My mom always complained that she was wasting time driving me to school (the kids who bullied me rode my bus with me, so she drove me and my friend to school), and once on the way to see the principle to talk about it, she straight up asked me if I was making this all up, if anything I said was real.
This post breaks my heart. Parents should never say things like that. They’re supposed to be their child’s biggest supporter. My mother was a lot like the parents here. We didn’t talk for the last year of her life, when she was dying of cancer, and 3 years on I don’t miss her in the slightest. Bad parents, that’s your future. Enjoy reaping what you sowed
You have a very good point. My mother passed away from a cardiac arrest over 25 years ago. I mourned her for as long as was necessary for me to get over the shock. Once the shock was over, I moved on, and I can't say that I miss her much. Who would miss the constant nagging? I finally had some semblance of peace and quiet in my life. My father was a different story. I was his care giver for the last 5 years of his life. And, I miss him everyday.
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Nathaniel, get the baseball bat and the bags-- We got some parent-asses to beat
I have struggled with depression and suicide for a long time. My mother always said it was my fault (genetics plays a part). When both parents found out about my multiple hospitalizations due to suicide attempts, his only response - "What would that do to your mother if you did," - In that moment I never felt so alone, disgusting and unloved. My mother said I was a monster until they put me on medication in public not long after. Before Dad died, he apologized. After he died, my mother said she couldn't handle it if I died by my own hand since being depressed severely after I lost him. I don't talk to her much these days.
When I was in college and commuting an hour each way to classes, my first car died. I asked my dad for help to get a used replacement, and he told me that if it were my sister asking, he would have to help because "she can't handle disappointment like you can." He refused to help, I went home crying to my mom, and she sued him for assistance the next day.
When my beloved Corolla died on the way home from school, my dad gave me his Honda. I hope your mom won!
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It wasn’t your fault, but it’s now your responsibility to heal. Get yourself a therapist and start somewhere. You deserve to heal.
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Not any specific thing but my brother was/is spoiled by my Dad. He is 5 years younger so he used ‘we are more financially stable now’ as an excuse. Might partly be true but I paid for my own school supplies since I was in jr high and he has anyways gotten everything he wanted. I also could never cleaned his truck or the house right.. it took me until I was 30ish to start to get over the lack of self esteem.
my mom said i just should not do anything because i am useless and she said I was a little piggy whenever i ate
I grew up with my parents telling me, "We have to love you, but we don't like you". So I guess the said they loved me before they tossed me out at 16. They did use the money my grandfather left me for college to buy my sister a house So there's that, though. It's really no wonder they have never met my wife, kids, or grandchildren.
Whenever I feel like a failure as a mother I end up reading one of these lists and go "holy sh*t!" I'm not perfect and I'm sure I've done/will do things to mess them up, but I love the hell out of those little bubbles. I could never imagine hurting them--or any child--like this.
my mum looked at 12yrold me dead in the eyes and said "this is why I hate talking to you" ????? you don't say stuff like that to your 12yrold daughter??? i'm 15 now but still stings whenever i think about it. she wonders why i don't talk to her lmaoo
Both my parents said thousands of things that would fit this list really well and it made my childhood and puberty difficult. There are lots of things I simply did not learn at home - love, trust, self-esteem, speaking about emotions, voicing opinions, physical contact, etc. As my parents are dead for over 20 years and I am an adult now, I have come to realise that they did the best they could. They were teenagers during WW2 and came from strict and cold families themselves. They weren't exactly an ideal match either, to put it politely. Yes, they did what they could - angry, frustrated, depressed, overwhelmed and fûcked by a harsh life as they were. You cannot give love if you have no idea what it feels like. They were deeply unhappy people just trying to get through this life. I no longer blame them, and this not only gives me a wonderful feeling of being at peace, it also opens up capacities: Instead of holding a grudge, I can still learn all these things now - it is never to late!!
Yoga Kitty, what a fabulous way of thinking. I’m just starting to get to that point in my life of understanding their situation.
Load More Replies... Still remember when my mom was mad at me.. and screamed “I know those boys aren’t calling you because you’re pretty.” I started crying, she came over and said are you crying because I said you were a whore?” I said no, I am crying because you said I wasn’t pretty.. then started laughing. She walked away in a huff. I knew I was pretty and I wasn’t easy.. She also told me that she wished I wasn’t born or had an abortion. Looking back, I wish she had gotten her depression meds sooner, she wouldn’t have been so toxic and unhappy.
I have had a lot of emotional abuse over the years, but ones that still haunt me (I actually forget and then they randomly pop up and cause me fear, I think that I have CPTSD.) I was at the mall with my mom and I was upset and I said "I am going to kill myself" and she said "go ahead then." She said I have an annoying cough. Ape legs while laughing Lots of fat, fatass Screaming in my face "cry then cry" because I was crying. I don't like crying around people. And they didn't want to spend time with us. My sister and I's lives were hanging out with each other, watching TV, then the internet and getting into trouble as teens. My dad also came at us when he was withdrawaling from drugs. My sister died of a drug overdose. So my life is forever fcked because she was legit the only person in my family who actually cared about me. I have really low self-esteem, major depression, GAD, and BPD.. I definitely think it is less genetic and more environmentally induced.
Likely not GAD or MDD, but C-PTSD which could lead to other disorders without treatment. I’m 42 and been working for a little less than a year to recover. Please get some help. You deserve it. We both do. I’m sorry that you have experienced what you’ve described but I promise you this: you survived it once you can survive the un-f***ing of your life. Don’t wait.
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never had kids of my own, but have nieces and a nephew. was in the car with nephew, picking up dinner and I jokingly said I was going to beat him. he said,no you won't, you love me too much. almost cried. made me so f*****g glad, he never doubted that i would fight tigers for him and them. his mother, the only one that had kids about of the 5 of us, was the fathers favourite. I am glad , but sad I never had kids, cause I would rather be dead, then ever be what he was!
I was making a scene and being too sensitive. Turns out I needed an emergency appendectomy. When I, as the skinny kid who teachers thought was malnourished, hit puberty and started to fill out a little I got told "You're getting fat." A year ago I was healthy in weight and got sick and lost too much weight. As in, clearly too gaunt in the face now. First reaction: "You were fuller before, you lost weight, it looks good." Our mother also always told us to never have kids and that if she could go back in time she never would have had us. That we ruined her life. When I told her again about the SA (my older brother) she denied ever hearing of it before. Then a few years after that, when she found out his GF broke up with him over it she called me and told me to deny it to his GF or they would never help me ever again.
I have autism, am introvert and dislike gossiping (and I don't know anyone in their lives since I live somewhere else). I accidentally overheard a conversation between my mom and grandmother. My mother said that my older brother (the one who SA'ed me) was a much more likeable person and I was a bit of a b***h because I have different interests and don't like to socialize so much. Those ones have always stayed with me. Others as well but these ones are foremost in my mind.
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I (F) was managing my church's small food bank & out reach program while exploring grad school options. I needed a new car & got a second hand pickup truck which gathered about 1/2 to 3/4 a ton of donations each week. Went to visit my dad ( an MD and in admin at a prestigious med school) . He told me how proud he was of his SONs that 3 out of 5 of them had pickup trucks they used in their jobs. 2 of them were tiny 1980s japanese mini trucks the other was a pimped out trophy truck that spent most of the time in the driveway and mostly got driven to the car wash. My truck & my two arms did more work more regularly than the brothers combined but it was his sons he was proud of! My brothers are like "you know you were included in that" & I'm like "I know i was NOT"
These are so relatable. They bring me back to every manipulation and instance of abuse. The worst was after being in and out of the hospital in a psychiatric hold due to suicidal tendencies and major depression (child abuse and neglect) my father said "What would that do to your mother?" had I gone through with it. They had demanded an explanation as to why I wasn't telling them anything. My mother looked me dead in the eye after being put on antidepressants "You were a monster until you were medicated," in a public restaurant with strangers in earshot. There were so many horrible things she said and did to me. I was supposed to be grateful they gave me the basics. My father apologized before he died. I haven't spoken to my mother in a long time.
My mother says some of the stuff i told her "never happened". s**t, i was the one getting it - i remember like yesterday and it was over 57 years ago.
My dad was mean and insulting. He'd border on physical abuse but he took the cake on emotional damage. Problem is, he was well known with the community and manipulated it that he was innocent and we were the problem. Whoo did he play the victim when I ran away at 16. Forced me to a catholic priest for counseling who just told me I was lying and I was selfish and should blindly obey my parents. And now he wonders why I refuse any kind of religion and treat him like an acquaintance
I feel like my mom was an amalgamation of the majority of the above. It's been 27 years since we last spoke. Now, as a mom myself, I think almost everything out before I say it to her. I never want her to remember me as I remember my mom
During the pandemic my friend who teaches 4th grade was having Zoom art class. One boy was working away on a drawing when his angry redneck father called him a f***in fa***t for liking art.
Being told my voice was too inconvenient and how I was annoying just for expressing any type of joy as a child and that I wasn’t capable of doing or finishing things as a teenager really messed me up later on as an adult. Now, nothing I ever do feels good enough and I don’t like anyone seeing me be anything other than laid back although I am an anxious mess. My biggest trigger now is not feeling heard. I hope I don’t mess my kids up. Tomorrow I need to apologize to my daughter for anything done to hurt her and make sure she always feels loved, safe, and heard.
I had to stop after number 13. It's too much. I feel so sorry for everyone who shared their experiences here, whether I read them or not. I feel so so grateful that I had a relatively happy childhood with great parents. The worst things they ever said to me were usually when they misspoke or there was a misunderstanding.
Makes me wonder if anyone had decent parents. It’s a very long story of all the s**t that went down in regards to my parents. Mom was always jealous of dad and I because we had everything in common and I had nothing in common with her. To make a very long story short, I’m an only child. My dad was in the hospital dying over Christmas and New Years. Mom and I decided on New Years Eve to try to be as normal as possible and toasted the new year with champagne. She said “ Here’s to our time together now”. 😳 I was shocked. Well, all we have is each other. It took a lot of therapy, a lot of talking, and a lot of forgiveness on my part. It was the most wonderful 10 years. Of course I remember all the things that happened. I remember what it did to me. But it’s been a very long time since any of it has lived rent free in my head. Forgiveness wasn’t easy, but I got there.
my mother(mothers a##hole) speaking about my son who at the time was only 15mths old, "he's the tye of child only a mother could love" yeh we dont talk anymore, my much loved son is now 27 ❤️
This list is why I can't condemn those kids who kill their parents.
"You make me sick, I don't even want to look at you." When I brought home a report card with 3 C's on it.
When I was in my twenties, my mother told me that I had never grown up. Well, gee, mom, I wonder who was in charge while that wasn't happening?
My dad: You will always be alone, you will never amount to anything (i am way more succesful than him), never spent time with me or my sister (she was the "favourite" but still), you always talk back (never learned what a conversation means, even now when i am in my thirtyes, he is always right and when you present a counter agrument - SMARTMOUTH!! TALKING BACK!!!). Now my sister have a kid and noone wants him to babysit, he wanders why noone respects him and talks to him. Well, noone wants a drunk smelly men around, he makes plans with his mom and dad and then comes home and expects for us to follow up with said plans.
It's really bad when you are thinking, "I wish I had it that good."
Load More Replies... I was told to just suck it up when I had trouble breathing and had to beg them to let me stay home from school because it hurt to breathe. Turns out I had an asthma attack. When my brother had one he was rushed to the hospital and I was left at home alone. Fun times. They also called me a spoiled brat, a jerk, that I was bogarting all the food, and that I was just s******g on their guidelines.
omg I'm so sorry that you had to experience that
Load More Replies... My mom said to me that, like a vampire or a leech, I was sucking away her happiness
Couldn't make the whole list. I just want to gather all of everyone up and declare, "I'm your mum now" and give everyone a hug!
The majority of these are flat-out emotional abuse. Completely inappropriate and unacceptable ways to treat children. I really hope everyone has had the support, healing and therapy to move on from the massively deficient people they were unfortunate to have parent them.
This was a heartbreaking read. Makes all the stupid things my parents ever said to me utterly pale in comparison. It’s sobering, really
Load More Replies... My mom's been making a few off-hand comments about the fact that I'm starting to gain weight. No c**p, Mom, I'm a teenager and I'm still growing. Like "Oh, you're getting a bit too round for that shirt" then?? buy me bigger clothes???
My mom's called me a b***h many of times. The first time when I was about 5 or 6. I wanted a goodnight hug and kiss, because I noticed she had stopped doing for what seemed like a long time. She bent down, I'm guessing too quickly, and I lifted my head up. Ended up bonking my mouth into her nose or mouth. I can't remember. All I remember is laying there crying and in pain. My mom was, likely exaggerating, yelling and had her hand over her mouth and nose. I asked if she was okay, getting more upset cos I didn't want to hurt her. She screamed "YOU B***H!" and that just tore my little heart out. It was just an accident. My daughter has done similar to me and her Grade 1 teacher when she would jump up when someone is bending over. When I was approx. 9 or 10, she said to me "You're just like Veronica Lodge. A spoiled, selfish brat." Idk what for.
Sorry for you! You are a better mom than your mom was.
Load More Replies... My parents regularly claim that I lie to them and forget things on purpose when in reality I just have a s**t memory. I don't want to be failing math I just can't remember anything, I'm genuinely stupid. They keep trying to make me into some gifted kid, I'm like below average at most. My mom has also said, both when I was around 6-8, that if she let me eat the way I wanted to I would be fat and that I don't have mental health problems, I'm just lazy. Both of which are true, I'm fairly sure I'm starting to get to an unhealthy weight (accidentally ate a school lunch a few days ago and have been eating lunches since them which is f*****g up my entire thing) and I am lazy as f**k, but I feel like you might not want to say that to a small child?
Having a s**t memory doesn't mean you are stupid. Just means that what you are supposed to be learning is not going in or you can't retrieve the information for some reason (I can empathise!!). This is probably because you learn in a different way to the standard way being taught. It is believed that there are 4 predominant learning styles: Visual, Auditory, Read/Write, and Kinaesthetic. You might just need to find the right one for you. I see your comments on BP and you do NOT come across as stupid in anyway.
Load More Replies... I was horribly bullied last year. I was threatened and teased and such, and scared for my life at some points. My mom always complained that she was wasting time driving me to school (the kids who bullied me rode my bus with me, so she drove me and my friend to school), and once on the way to see the principle to talk about it, she straight up asked me if I was making this all up, if anything I said was real.
This post breaks my heart. Parents should never say things like that. They’re supposed to be their child’s biggest supporter. My mother was a lot like the parents here. We didn’t talk for the last year of her life, when she was dying of cancer, and 3 years on I don’t miss her in the slightest. Bad parents, that’s your future. Enjoy reaping what you sowed
You have a very good point. My mother passed away from a cardiac arrest over 25 years ago. I mourned her for as long as was necessary for me to get over the shock. Once the shock was over, I moved on, and I can't say that I miss her much. Who would miss the constant nagging? I finally had some semblance of peace and quiet in my life. My father was a different story. I was his care giver for the last 5 years of his life. And, I miss him everyday.
Load More Replies... Nathaniel, get the baseball bat and the bags-- We got some parent-asses to beat
I have struggled with depression and suicide for a long time. My mother always said it was my fault (genetics plays a part). When both parents found out about my multiple hospitalizations due to suicide attempts, his only response - "What would that do to your mother if you did," - In that moment I never felt so alone, disgusting and unloved. My mother said I was a monster until they put me on medication in public not long after. Before Dad died, he apologized. After he died, my mother said she couldn't handle it if I died by my own hand since being depressed severely after I lost him. I don't talk to her much these days.
When I was in college and commuting an hour each way to classes, my first car died. I asked my dad for help to get a used replacement, and he told me that if it were my sister asking, he would have to help because "she can't handle disappointment like you can." He refused to help, I went home crying to my mom, and she sued him for assistance the next day.
When my beloved Corolla died on the way home from school, my dad gave me his Honda. I hope your mom won!
Load More Replies... It wasn’t your fault, but it’s now your responsibility to heal. Get yourself a therapist and start somewhere. You deserve to heal.
Load More Replies... Not any specific thing but my brother was/is spoiled by my Dad. He is 5 years younger so he used ‘we are more financially stable now’ as an excuse. Might partly be true but I paid for my own school supplies since I was in jr high and he has anyways gotten everything he wanted. I also could never cleaned his truck or the house right.. it took me until I was 30ish to start to get over the lack of self esteem.
my mom said i just should not do anything because i am useless and she said I was a little piggy whenever i ate
I grew up with my parents telling me, "We have to love you, but we don't like you". So I guess the said they loved me before they tossed me out at 16. They did use the money my grandfather left me for college to buy my sister a house So there's that, though. It's really no wonder they have never met my wife, kids, or grandchildren.
Whenever I feel like a failure as a mother I end up reading one of these lists and go "holy sh*t!" I'm not perfect and I'm sure I've done/will do things to mess them up, but I love the hell out of those little bubbles. I could never imagine hurting them--or any child--like this.
my mum looked at 12yrold me dead in the eyes and said "this is why I hate talking to you" ????? you don't say stuff like that to your 12yrold daughter??? i'm 15 now but still stings whenever i think about it. she wonders why i don't talk to her lmaoo
Both my parents said thousands of things that would fit this list really well and it made my childhood and puberty difficult. There are lots of things I simply did not learn at home - love, trust, self-esteem, speaking about emotions, voicing opinions, physical contact, etc. As my parents are dead for over 20 years and I am an adult now, I have come to realise that they did the best they could. They were teenagers during WW2 and came from strict and cold families themselves. They weren't exactly an ideal match either, to put it politely. Yes, they did what they could - angry, frustrated, depressed, overwhelmed and fûcked by a harsh life as they were. You cannot give love if you have no idea what it feels like. They were deeply unhappy people just trying to get through this life. I no longer blame them, and this not only gives me a wonderful feeling of being at peace, it also opens up capacities: Instead of holding a grudge, I can still learn all these things now - it is never to late!!
Yoga Kitty, what a fabulous way of thinking. I’m just starting to get to that point in my life of understanding their situation.
Load More Replies... Still remember when my mom was mad at me.. and screamed “I know those boys aren’t calling you because you’re pretty.” I started crying, she came over and said are you crying because I said you were a whore?” I said no, I am crying because you said I wasn’t pretty.. then started laughing. She walked away in a huff. I knew I was pretty and I wasn’t easy.. She also told me that she wished I wasn’t born or had an abortion. Looking back, I wish she had gotten her depression meds sooner, she wouldn’t have been so toxic and unhappy.
I have had a lot of emotional abuse over the years, but ones that still haunt me (I actually forget and then they randomly pop up and cause me fear, I think that I have CPTSD.) I was at the mall with my mom and I was upset and I said "I am going to kill myself" and she said "go ahead then." She said I have an annoying cough. Ape legs while laughing Lots of fat, fatass Screaming in my face "cry then cry" because I was crying. I don't like crying around people. And they didn't want to spend time with us. My sister and I's lives were hanging out with each other, watching TV, then the internet and getting into trouble as teens. My dad also came at us when he was withdrawaling from drugs. My sister died of a drug overdose. So my life is forever fcked because she was legit the only person in my family who actually cared about me. I have really low self-esteem, major depression, GAD, and BPD.. I definitely think it is less genetic and more environmentally induced.
Likely not GAD or MDD, but C-PTSD which could lead to other disorders without treatment. I’m 42 and been working for a little less than a year to recover. Please get some help. You deserve it. We both do. I’m sorry that you have experienced what you’ve described but I promise you this: you survived it once you can survive the un-f***ing of your life. Don’t wait.
Load More Replies... never had kids of my own, but have nieces and a nephew. was in the car with nephew, picking up dinner and I jokingly said I was going to beat him. he said,no you won't, you love me too much. almost cried. made me so f*****g glad, he never doubted that i would fight tigers for him and them. his mother, the only one that had kids about of the 5 of us, was the fathers favourite. I am glad , but sad I never had kids, cause I would rather be dead, then ever be what he was!
I was making a scene and being too sensitive. Turns out I needed an emergency appendectomy. When I, as the skinny kid who teachers thought was malnourished, hit puberty and started to fill out a little I got told "You're getting fat." A year ago I was healthy in weight and got sick and lost too much weight. As in, clearly too gaunt in the face now. First reaction: "You were fuller before, you lost weight, it looks good." Our mother also always told us to never have kids and that if she could go back in time she never would have had us. That we ruined her life. When I told her again about the SA (my older brother) she denied ever hearing of it before. Then a few years after that, when she found out his GF broke up with him over it she called me and told me to deny it to his GF or they would never help me ever again.
I have autism, am introvert and dislike gossiping (and I don't know anyone in their lives since I live somewhere else). I accidentally overheard a conversation between my mom and grandmother. My mother said that my older brother (the one who SA'ed me) was a much more likeable person and I was a bit of a b***h because I have different interests and don't like to socialize so much. Those ones have always stayed with me. Others as well but these ones are foremost in my mind.
Load More Replies... I (F) was managing my church's small food bank & out reach program while exploring grad school options. I needed a new car & got a second hand pickup truck which gathered about 1/2 to 3/4 a ton of donations each week. Went to visit my dad ( an MD and in admin at a prestigious med school) . He told me how proud he was of his SONs that 3 out of 5 of them had pickup trucks they used in their jobs. 2 of them were tiny 1980s japanese mini trucks the other was a pimped out trophy truck that spent most of the time in the driveway and mostly got driven to the car wash. My truck & my two arms did more work more regularly than the brothers combined but it was his sons he was proud of! My brothers are like "you know you were included in that" & I'm like "I know i was NOT"
These are so relatable. They bring me back to every manipulation and instance of abuse. The worst was after being in and out of the hospital in a psychiatric hold due to suicidal tendencies and major depression (child abuse and neglect) my father said "What would that do to your mother?" had I gone through with it. They had demanded an explanation as to why I wasn't telling them anything. My mother looked me dead in the eye after being put on antidepressants "You were a monster until you were medicated," in a public restaurant with strangers in earshot. There were so many horrible things she said and did to me. I was supposed to be grateful they gave me the basics. My father apologized before he died. I haven't spoken to my mother in a long time.
My mother says some of the stuff i told her "never happened". s**t, i was the one getting it - i remember like yesterday and it was over 57 years ago.
My dad was mean and insulting. He'd border on physical abuse but he took the cake on emotional damage. Problem is, he was well known with the community and manipulated it that he was innocent and we were the problem. Whoo did he play the victim when I ran away at 16. Forced me to a catholic priest for counseling who just told me I was lying and I was selfish and should blindly obey my parents. And now he wonders why I refuse any kind of religion and treat him like an acquaintance
I feel like my mom was an amalgamation of the majority of the above. It's been 27 years since we last spoke. Now, as a mom myself, I think almost everything out before I say it to her. I never want her to remember me as I remember my mom
During the pandemic my friend who teaches 4th grade was having Zoom art class. One boy was working away on a drawing when his angry redneck father called him a f***in fa***t for liking art.
Being told my voice was too inconvenient and how I was annoying just for expressing any type of joy as a child and that I wasn’t capable of doing or finishing things as a teenager really messed me up later on as an adult. Now, nothing I ever do feels good enough and I don’t like anyone seeing me be anything other than laid back although I am an anxious mess. My biggest trigger now is not feeling heard. I hope I don’t mess my kids up. Tomorrow I need to apologize to my daughter for anything done to hurt her and make sure she always feels loved, safe, and heard.
I had to stop after number 13. It's too much. I feel so sorry for everyone who shared their experiences here, whether I read them or not. I feel so so grateful that I had a relatively happy childhood with great parents. The worst things they ever said to me were usually when they misspoke or there was a misunderstanding.
Makes me wonder if anyone had decent parents. It’s a very long story of all the s**t that went down in regards to my parents. Mom was always jealous of dad and I because we had everything in common and I had nothing in common with her. To make a very long story short, I’m an only child. My dad was in the hospital dying over Christmas and New Years. Mom and I decided on New Years Eve to try to be as normal as possible and toasted the new year with champagne. She said “ Here’s to our time together now”. 😳 I was shocked. Well, all we have is each other. It took a lot of therapy, a lot of talking, and a lot of forgiveness on my part. It was the most wonderful 10 years. Of course I remember all the things that happened. I remember what it did to me. But it’s been a very long time since any of it has lived rent free in my head. Forgiveness wasn’t easy, but I got there.
my mother(mothers a##hole) speaking about my son who at the time was only 15mths old, "he's the tye of child only a mother could love" yeh we dont talk anymore, my much loved son is now 27 ❤️
This list is why I can't condemn those kids who kill their parents.
"You make me sick, I don't even want to look at you." When I brought home a report card with 3 C's on it.
When I was in my twenties, my mother told me that I had never grown up. Well, gee, mom, I wonder who was in charge while that wasn't happening?
My dad: You will always be alone, you will never amount to anything (i am way more succesful than him), never spent time with me or my sister (she was the "favourite" but still), you always talk back (never learned what a conversation means, even now when i am in my thirtyes, he is always right and when you present a counter agrument - SMARTMOUTH!! TALKING BACK!!!). Now my sister have a kid and noone wants him to babysit, he wanders why noone respects him and talks to him. Well, noone wants a drunk smelly men around, he makes plans with his mom and dad and then comes home and expects for us to follow up with said plans.
