Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Appalling Texts Sent By Helicopter Parents Who Tried Controlling Adult Kids’ Life (30 Examples)
How interestingly things are unfolding - just yesterday I wrote about a teen whose mother considers the very idea of knocking when entering his room to be completely ridiculous and outrageous, and today I’m writing about a selection of stories about so-called “helicopter parents.”
Bored Panda has already talked about this contemporary phenomenon more than once or twice, given examples, and compiled collections of strange and rather toxic stories about how parents interfered in the lives of their fully grown-up children. So here is another similar selection for you!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Yeah Let's Control The Hell Out Of Our Kids So They Don't Become Liberals. Parenting Done Right.
Yeah let's control the hell out of our kids so they don't become liberals. Parenting done right.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
This is how prisons work. Does she also want to put an electric foot tag on them and bars at the windows? That would be the full program
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
The only way to keep your kids as brainless right winger. Make sure they can never have access to knowledge. Right wingers are sickos and societies cancer.
Bartlet for World Domination 1 year ago
See, being liberal is just the natural state of being.
Hakitosama 1 year ago
Apparently being psychotic is better than being liberal in some parents' mind....
Anna Chandler 1 year ago
The day their kids turn 18 they will be gone forever, after they discover music, television and the internet, and how badly they were treated growing up.
Sabrina Bowen 1 year ago
This is pretty much how I grew up. I'm way more liberal than most liberals i know.
RELATED:
#2
Mother is controlling, and uses her anxiety to treat me like she’s my prison warden, and yet I still worry I’m doing something wrong.
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
Keep setting boundaries. Proper boundaries are actually healthier for everyone, even if they don't appreciate it
james stevenson 1 year ago
They really don't appreciate it, and sometimes I find it funny
Load More Replies...
Kim Kermes 1 year ago
No, you don't need to know where your adult kid is. I joined the Army at 18 and called once a week until I was stationed in Germany where it was so expensive I called once a month.
Michael Largey 1 year ago (edited)
A parent needs to give her child positive reasons for telling her things.
Load More Replies...
Bluonthefront 1 year ago
OP is not responsible for mom's response to her boundary. Keep setting the boundary. Let her know you understand it makes her anxious but SHE needs deal with her anxiety.
Amelia Jade 1 year ago
I'm a parent that lives with terrible, overwhelming, debilitating anxiety. I have two adult children and a teen. I work extremely hard to not make my anxiety their problem. It isn't always easy. I'm working on it, and they're extremely patient with me. But I really want them to be able to have their own lives without me worrying constantly or with them worrying about me being worried. The last thing I want is for them to think they're doing something wrong. This is MY problem. I want to tell OP they are not at fault by any means and to keep setting boundaries.
#3
I am 22 years old, living on my own with my husband, and my dad still trys to control what I do.
Krystal Quigley 1 year ago
I would start liking the weirdest sh*t. That he has to Google just to figure out what it is. Or create a new separate social media account and give that one to my neighbors young child.
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
Same. I'd just do a lot of harmlessly weird stuff to throw his algorithm off if he's tracking mine.
Load More Replies...
Learner Panda 1 year ago
Why is OP enabling her dad? She's a married woman. Does he monitor their sex life as well?
Kate Jones 1 year ago
I mean, what happens if I do like it? Do I get punished and sent to my room? Oh wait...I don't live with you, you religious nutbag. And why are you policing my social media at the age of 22? Sorry but she was a little too polite to his bazaar questioning. The answer to the question is 'because I can.'
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
The fact is that the limited options of Meta only allow to "like" stuff. Sometimes it's something someone pointed out, like a horrendous event in Palestine that one abhors, but the only way to acknowledge it is with a "like."
The very concept of ‘helicopter parenting’ first appeared in 1969, when Dr. Haim Ginott released his bestselling book Between Parent & Teenager. The term refers to overly involved and protective parents who not only actively interfere in all their children’s interactions, but also make decisions for them, try to help them achieve their goals, and remove obstacles in their path: a term that has been especially relevant in the last few decades.
#4
I lost an amazing friend because her mom is a homophobic karen who wants to control way to much of her life. Her mom thinks of me as being a bad influence just because I’m openly bi and acts like her being a lesbo is a bad thing that I caused. I’m honestly really tired of her mom.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
People like that shouldn't be allowed to have children or be around them
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
Or be accepted in any social. Shunned and outcasted is the only acceptable response.
Load More Replies... 
SlothyK8 1 year ago
My mother forced me to cut ties with my bestie when I was 15 because her parents smoked flower and that made my friend a "bad influence". I found bestie again after I moved out. We're not close anymore because she's a Trumper, but still friends....almost 50 years later. Find your friend again, OP. :)
Michael Largey 1 year ago
OP can't "be a lesbian any more" - or retain her blood type or the current color of her eyes.
Jaybird3939 1 year ago
I hope this poor girl can get some freedom when she's 18 or goes to college. What a horrible mother.
Szzone aka Rottyintós Batman 1 year ago
We should really start considering parents, who treat their queer children like this, to be abusers. Because this is abuse.
KathyT 1 year ago
People should stop weaponizing names...like "Karen." People named Karen don't deserve the disrespect and it's rude.
𝐆𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐦-𝐏𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚 1 year ago
You know, people named Homer, Gaylord, Ralph, D*ck, Johnson, W*lly, etc. probably don't either.... but you know what the difference is and why no one says anything? They're all male names. Names have taken on alternative, unflattering meanings for ages. But until recently, I never heard anyone say a thing about it, until Karen. There's even the alternative male name for Karen, Kevin, but no one says anything about that, either. Funny how it's only so terrible when it's a female name. (And note, I had to censor two of my example names above - that's how "offensive" it's "ok" for those names to be.)
Load More Replies... #5
I’m almost 22 and my mom is watching my every move from another country. I’m not allowed out past 10 pm and every time I’m going to be late to my apartment even by a few minutes i need to let her know.
She was asking if I went out at night and threatened to stop paying for [stuff]. I use a location faker to get around it (spent the night at a guy’s place lol) but it can cause location to be a little glitchy but it works well enough, one time I went on a 3 day trip to another state without her noticing.
Oh yeah she has a tracker on my car too, she is actually insane. I’m an international student and [stuff] is expensive so she pays for a lot of [it] but in exchange I have to follow her insane rules (location tracker on at all times, no going to guys’ houses, no guys allowed at my apartment, not allowed out past 10 and if I do I need to let her know every time, etc.) Which I mean I get it it’s her money but those are insane rules. Why even let me go study in another country if you’re going to be this bitchy about it?
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
OP should try to get independent and maybe find a student job. The only way to get away from financial control is to have finances on your own
Marnie 1 year ago
It's possible she has a student visa and not a work visa. But also, being a full-time student is being full-time. Likely she'd need at least one full-time and one part-time job to be able to afford to live on her own if she doesn't have a degree. Plus, there is the cost of school. I mean, it sounds like she came for the schooling with the understanding her mom would help financially, and wouldn't have done that without her mom's help. And now she's stuck.
Load More Replies... Krystal Quigley 1 year ago
Get a second phone. Leave that one at home. Until you can move without telling her the new address. Or country.
Trillian 1 year ago
You are an adult. She cannot "let" or "not let" you do things. You allow her to because you want her money. If it were me I would consider this way too high a price.
Krystal Quigley 1 year ago
Ah. I didn't open the full text. My mom once called the police for a welfare check when I didn't come home at the usual time. After college, had my own job, went to the movies.
Load More Replies...
Squirrelly Panda 1 year ago
OP probably went for a foreign school to get away from mom's control. It didn't fully work, but at least now mom can't simply show up to check on her or demand she comes home every weekend. When OP completes her education she'll have the chance to gain financial freedom and then need to set boundaries.
Jessie TeWinkel 1 year ago
When I lived at home there was a rule for me, even as a working adult, that I had to be in the house every minute that I wasn't at work. Surprise surprise, I moved 1500 miles away and enjoyed hearing my father scream when I missed his phone call, "Where the hell have you been?" I answered calmly, "I wasn't home."
#6
Stepmom trying to control what I do with my internet usage at my biomoms house
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
If the program that causes this can't be removed, make a backup of all important information and wipe the chrome book. There, lock is gone. F these people
Krystal Quigley 1 year ago
They will relock it. Mom needs to get her one for her house.
Load More Replies...
Kai 1 year ago
I had this program on my devices a few years ago, i hated the way it worked. it would lock your devices with no warning so you couldn't tell your friends you had to go or anything, randomly decide to not allow apps, and block a lot of things i needed access to. luckily my parents weren't very controlling and were just trying to make sure i was safe on the interest so helped me troubleshoot all of that, but it was still annoying.
In fact, 'helicopter parenting' is not nearly as new as it may seem, and there have always been parents who have tried to be excessively involved in the lives of their adult offspring. Moreover, if you look at the traditions of many nations, ‘helicopter parenting’ is much older than the helicopter itself, since it was invented only in the middle of the last century.
From year to year, from century to century, parents actively intervened in the lives of their now-adult children, tried to arrange their personal lives, and gave advice, useful and not so much. And when these kids grew up with their own children, the “baton” passed to a new generation of parents. And this actually continued throughout almost the entire human history.
#7
I’m 25F and I moved out three years ago from my mom’s house because she is controlling and mean. I’m going to visit a city about an hour away from my home city. My mom wanted to come over to my apartment but she’s really judgmental and I know she’d criticize everything. Nothing is clean enough for her or organized well or decorated well because it’s not her way of doing things. I told her she couldn’t come over but she kept insisting so instead we made plans to meet in the morning before work to see each other before my trip at the transit station. I woke up early to get ready and meet her but she disowned me. Even when she gets her way and gets to see me, it’s not good enough if it’s not exactly what she demands. She expects me to come over every weekend and sleep over. She’s been nagging me for 3 years to move back home and doesn’t listen when I say no.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
If OPs already disowned, fine. They now have a good base never to talk to their raven mother again
Papa 1 year ago
I texted my mother once inviting her to meet me, along with my wife, children, and sister, at a restaurant in the town where she lives for Mother's Day. She wanted us to come to her house instead. I told her I didn't want to do that. She insisted. I finally replied "The last time we were at your house it was only to do chores, and you were rude, demanding, and unappreciative, and I don't want to do that again. This is your last chance. Which restaurant would you like to meet at?" She got the message.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago
It's taken 14 of our 16 years together for my partner to figure out how to set a boundary against our being expected overnight every second or third weekend at his parent's house. I'm still working through the resentment of being a new mom trucking a baby to the loudest, least restful house possible as often as we did.
Lisa Lackey 1 year ago
would it be possible for your husband and baby to visit without you once a month or so? it would give you some rest and alone time.
Load More Replies... #8
I was recently kicked out of my house by my parents who controlled my bank account and they refuse to give me my money now that I'm in my own.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
This is theft and can be legally prosecuted. Firstly, get in contact with the bank and tell them what happened so they can lock the thieves out and hand over the necessary recordings of paperwork theft, then court. There are little organisations that help people to get out of abusive situations, those might be able to help paying for a lawyer should one be necessary
Anna Chandler 1 year ago
Unless one of them is on the account as well, which is most likely.
Load More Replies...
Kate Jones 1 year ago
Some kids open accounts when they're under 18 and legally have to have a parent's name on it. But once you turn 18 you should really close that and open a new account, just in your name. If the current account has your name on it, you have 100% rights to it. Close the account and open a new account in only your own name. If your name isn't on the account, then whatever you're using to make deposits should be changed. You can update your direct deposit with your bank and employer once you open a new account.
Krystal Quigley 1 year ago
Bet the account isn't in her name. She needs to get her own account with her money deposited there. And not let her parents know which bank.
Jaybird3939 1 year ago
If you're over 18, close that account and open a new one in your name only. Don't let them harass you in to adding them to it. Then do what Zed said.
#9
I finally moved out of my controlling and manipulative parents house. I’m 20, and they’ve been harassing my friends trying to find me, and I had to tell the police my situation so they wouldn’t file me as missing.
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
It sounds to me like a sibling. Often in situations like this the free sibling can then come back and help younger/less "rebellious' siblings escape.
Load More Replies...
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
I hope OP has a good support network and therapy. This wasn't a cowardly move and especially not selfish, it was the right thing to do for self preservation and requires a lot of bravery to get out of the web.
BigCityLady 1 year ago (edited)
Yup, and if Cade is a sibling that shows especially how vile and manipulative this parent is! A grown adult moving out is not selfish and she shouldn’t make that claim either as well as she is just feeding into the beast to give her ammo for later.
Load More Replies... AutumnGirl 7 months ago
I'm sorry but I didn't understand the birth certificate part. Why is it important that OP took it?
However, we are now far from saying that since some phenomenon is old and historical, this by default means it’s good. Probably not. After all, for a long time, the advice of elders on arranging life was based on the fact that this very life process was virtually unchanged. After all, how was the life of the average city dweller, let’s say, in the 14th century different from the same life in the 18th century? The basic principles remained the same.
Today everything is completely different. And the life experience acquired by the older generation often looks not only inappropriate, but sometimes even harmful. And what was previously considered worldly wisdom, passed on from generation to generation (sometimes by force), is nothing more than another example of toxic behavior.
#10
Controlling mom thinks I shouldn’t have “boys” in my room. My (21f) entire life I’ve mostly had male friends, and nothing’s ever been said until now.
#11
Parent With Serious Control Issues. I Didn’t Do Anything Wrong And I Get This Message Out Of The Blue.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
Thats not a parent, that's a demented person making their shortcomings and serious mental illness everyone elses problem instead of seeking help.
Maikku 1 year ago (edited)
If there's no reason to do this then it's probably weird. But I really have to hide all electronics (phones, PS/Xbox controllers, tv remotes) in the house by 9 PM so my kids can get any sleep. My 7-year old had this habit of waking up at night and playing on xbox and my 13-year old was playing on his phone whole night. It was affecting really bad on their schoolwork and they were like dead tired during the day. Other three are fine, but really, for equality I have to hide it all. They get their stuff back first thing in the morning tho. Edit: This is school nights only, on weekends it's free play.
Jaybird3939 1 year ago
It's not your fault. You have an abusive parent. Don't let them tell you it's your fault. Get out when you're 18 and don't look back.
#12
Mother threatens to kick me out of college for not sharing location
BigCityLady 1 year ago
What is it with these parents??? My kids never told us where there were in college, except when they moved out but it they were required to live in the dorms for the first two years. Also, both had a full ride as well. And they came home every summer to work too!
Kate Jones 1 year ago
I honestly just don't understand the need to have a tracker on your kids after the age of like 10. I understand you're worried when they're little and so it helps to know where they are, but parents these days are like the fu*king FBI, recording your convos and tracking your car. If you're over 18 why do you need to know where i am at all? If you're worried, a simple "Hey you're usually home by now and I'm a little worried. Let me know you're okay.' kind of message is enough. It's honestly kind of creepy.
Load More Replies...Well, probably, almost every one of us has encountered examples of ‘helicopter parenting’ from our moms or dads (I am no exception, alas). So now please feel free to scroll and read this list to the very end and try to hold these stories in your memory. At least if you are ever tempted to write something similar to your own adult children. And, of course, any comments will be highly appreciated as well.
#13
My mom's response to me asking her for privacy
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
Buy a bolt lock with a special key and apply it to the inside and outside of the door when she goes out. OR, which is my personal opinion, just physically fight her if old and strong enough. Not everyone can be dealt with humanely sadly.
Hakitosama 1 year ago
Indeed. My mom used to resort to slapping me when I was rebellious....one day I slapped back, hard. She never raised her hand on me ever again
Load More Replies...
Le Vic 1 year ago
I am surprised how in the "land of the freedom" there are so much intrafamily oppression
Kate Jones 1 year ago
A big part of it is done toward girls because controlling women is practically a pastime here. A lot of times you don't see or hear anything about father's wanting to see their son's texts or know who they're with. But when it comes to their daughter, every minute needs to be cataloged. Meanwhile your son is sending d!ck pics to everyone and parents don't really care because 'boys will be boys'. No one takes the doors of of boys' rooms. No one puts trackers on their phones. They say they do it in the guise of 'protecting' them but even if that was true- it's so sexist. So because you're a girl you're somehow stupid and need to be protected more? It's about control. I've never seen it happen to boys. Boys can jerk off all the time without their dads getting mad but if he finds out his daughter is touching herself she's somehow less 'pure' or dirty and suddenly he wants her to keep her door open. And then they use religion as an excuse, too. It's honestly so ridiculous.
Load More Replies... Giraffy Window 1 year ago
Threatening to take a dependent's things away simply because you bought them is financial abuse. ESPECIALLY things like clothes and blankets? And unless a kid is a proven danger to themselves? Leave the frigging doors along! Privacy is in fact, not a privilege.
Kate Jones 1 year ago
Honestly, I feel like the best response to parents who don't allow kids to close their doors or have privacy is to maliciously comply. Start walking around naked. Ma$terbate where they can see it. Talk really loud on a phone. If they'd don't let you have friends in your room, sit right where they are with your friend and talk about absolute vapid nonsense to the point they can't hear the tv or concentrate on what they're doing. And take away *their* privacy--follow them around. They want to see what you're doing...show them. CONSTANTLY. Be around them all the time. Show them every social media post you make. Eventually they're going to want their *own* privacy back so much that they'll beg to go back to when you were holed up in your room. Kids are afraid of their parents seeing their private stuff but...there's a power in letting them see it!
#14
I'm 22 F living on my own and my parents still want to have control on what I buy. It is not making me any more frugal when she yells at me for spending too much.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
NEVER give in to anyone who ferociously demands control over your bank. They will steal your money at some point and use it for themselves, in this case probably because "Uuuh, it's family!" or "If you are so wasteful with your own money I can do the same with it!" OP shouldn't have two bank accounts but one, and the helicopter shouldn't have any access to it.
Anna Chandler 1 year ago
Why does a 22 yo grown person have a joint account with their mom? Crazytown
Papa 1 year ago
I had joint accounts with both my children until they were at least that age, but it was only to make it easier to transfer money to them while they were in college (they each got a set amount every month). As soon as they finished school we closed the accounts and they got their own.
Load More Replies... Kate Jones 1 year ago
I understand the desire to show your kids how to save and you want them to have emergency funds. But the problem is you still think of them as kids at 20+ years old. They're adults. They have to learn to save on their own. Let them fail. That's how they'll learn. At 18, no parent should be involved in their kids financial or social world. Not only is it enabling them but it could cause friction if you have other kids. BUT-- you can't have it both ways. If you still live at home, still take advantage of mom and dad for financial help, then they have every right to dictate what you do in their house. If you don't like it, then get a job, get roommates, get OUT. Being in college doesn't negate your being an adult. People figure out how to do both. You don't get to have mommy and daddy paying your bills and then complain that they don't let you do what you want because you're an adult. NO you're not. An adult doesn't have mom and dad take care of them.
Courtney Christelle 1 year ago
The only access my mom will have to my bank account is after I’m dead.
Heather Vandegrift 1 year ago
My BF and I have a POS roommate who doesn't pay his rent in full or on time and never pays anything for the rest of the bills, and I'm disabled, so my BF has had to pay way more than our share to keep us from being evicted. That led to my car getting repossessed from our driveway while I'm visiting my family in a different state. My BF and I both would drive for Door Dash for money for groceries and gas and stuff. I bought a $3 box of donuts the day before the car for repossessed, so my BF didn't have the chance to drive and to off that account with the normal $100 he'd have made that night. I mentioned that I only had $30 right now (because my BF pays the bills from his account, the dash account is our "joint" account and what I've used to get essentials while traveling), and my dad WENT OFF about me buying unnecessary things like the donuts! $3 wasn't going to stop the car from being taken, and I needed chocolate!
#15
My narcissist mother trying to control me yet again
A S Mora 1 year ago
What is it with narcissistic mothers and trying to control food intake/exercise. My mom was like that, and wonders why she's not allowed to mention my body.
Fox with a Dragon Tattoo 1 year ago
And this kids, is how you end up with an eatting disorder.
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
How does she know how many carbs you are eating? I would just say "yes ma'am" and continue with what I'm doing
Joanne Earle 1 year ago
OMG my mother was like this. So controlling about food. Always riding me about my weight. I wouldn't HAVE a weight problem now if she hadn't had me on diets in elementary school and ruined my metabolism.
#16
He's my dad he was VERY abusive when I was living with him and I worry he's abusive to my siblings that still live with him also idk if I used the right flair
#17
Very long history with my parents being extremely controlling. This is a very mild recent taste.
Might not be considered insane compared to what they have done in the past but just wanted to share. FYI, I called her after I finished studying and it was not important lol
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago (edited)
That's so annoying. I'm glad my parents respect my boundaries
Nikole 1 year ago
Same. And I’m not at all shy about putting them (my mom) in their place when they overstep.
Load More Replies...
#18
My friends mom tweeted this. Control freak alert is going off the charts!
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
This kinda sounds like the son isn't even a kid and the father just a POS
Mike F 1 year ago
Read the post, it was the mother who confiscated the game.
Load More Replies... 
Lorius Interruptus 1 year ago
He bought it with his own money. This is toxic af
Load More Replies...
#19
Abusive mother tries to financially control me
Kate Jones 1 year ago
I agree. This seems like someone who was ungrateful for a gift and also has mommy and daddy paying for college. If my kid was b!tching about being an adult but still had me paying for everything, I'd set them straight and remind them right away.
Load More Replies...
#20
I am 20 years old, my mom tries to set a curfew of 9:30 pm for me. I am trying to push it but she goes crazy like this. Dad is barely any help, even tho he isn’t the one who is controlling like my mother. They always treat me like a kid when I do very very well for myself.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
What happens if you give her nothing? What's she's gonna do? Whine around, or subject to theft?
Valerie Brillhart 1 year ago
WTH is Wrong with these people!!! They are all nuts and they complain about BOOMERS
Kate Jones 1 year ago
I mean, I get why you feel this is over the top and 'charging' you certainly is, but if you're 20 you should think about moving out since you're an adult. If you're still depending on your parents and living under their roof, then they have every right to ask you to follow their rules and you aren't really an adult. You're a dependent.
#21
The conversation started by him recommending a show on Netflix talking about correctional boarding schools like the one I had been sent to so that I “would know you’re not alone” which helped him understand “….i think”
He gave me the stun gun, and Maria is my former abusive stepmother. My dad is 49 and I am 19. Yeah…
Squirrelly Panda 1 year ago
Alot going on here that isn't explained, like OP talking about neither son talking to dad and dad claiming he only has 1 son.
Linda's friend Ginger 1 year ago
OP is transgender, female to male. Dad does not see his child as his son but still his daughter. That's why he claims he only has one son.
Load More Replies...
#22
My(19f) mom(52f) keeps asking me for my location
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
18 is the age of legal adulthood, and the official beginning of parents receiving only courtesy information.
Load More Replies... #23
So im 16 and my phone was smashed by my dad bc he was mad and I got a new one so I texted him and he is controlling and demands to know every thing about stuff I know when I drive to mc donalds he questions me on how many calories ill be eating
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 1 year ago
Hard to have that much emotional maturity and confidence at 16.
Load More Replies...
#24
My mom is so controlling it's crazy. Mind you this is all happening as I'm 18. She has to know where I am at all times and is so controlling it drives me insane.
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
I heard my friend's parents talking about having trackers on their kid's phones/watches for safety and I asked my mom why we didn't and she was like "I would never. I trust you." Thanks Mom.
Kate Jones 1 year ago
You remember the Just Say No campaign for saying no to d***s? Kids need to grow a pair of cajones and start learning how to say no to parents' unreasonable requests. I mean, I understand money and curfew rules, even over 18, if you're living in their house. But you absolutely do not get a right to tell me where I can go or who I can be around outside of the house.
Nikole 1 year ago
But these (the parents) are the type of low mental bandwidth people to kick their child into the street without a second thought, and not everyone has a safety net. It’s manipulation by fear.
Load More Replies...
Rene Berendsen 1 year ago
wow all these posts. What is with the location thing. Is this what parents do nowadays with cell phones. Crazy. I was 18 when cell phones started to become a thing but no location or anything yet. Before that I was always going outside and to friends. Usually I would say I'm going to this or that friend, besides this my parents would never know what I did or where I was and It was never a problem. Is every parent in the US so scared of murderers or what's the deal here? (i'm not American)
BigCityLady 1 year ago
Are there parents this bored that they are spending their precious time searching and seeking as to where their kids are at all times?? My husband and I LOVED IT when they left the house!!
#25
Dad wants to know everything, mom assumes it's my boyfriend then backs up my dad saying he's not being controlling but if it was my boyfriend then it is. I'm 19.
Sunny Day 1 year ago
Send pics of you & bf in bed. Sheet to armpits, heads sharing a pillow. Say cheese!
Kate Jones 1 year ago
Exactly. I honest to God do not understand some of these posts. What is he going to do? You're 19. You aren't a virgin. If you're f*cking the entire Knicks basketball team, there's really nothing he can do about it. It's none of his business. My immediate response would be 'No' and then a lot of LOL's. As much as my parent's screwed up, I'm so grateful they at least weren't like this!
Load More Replies... #26
My mother is mad about bills she told me I didn’t have to give her yet, and expects me to take care of her dog
Context I moved out of my narcissistic mom’s house a couple months ago and she’s losing her mind that she no longer has control over my actions. However, my car died and I needed to get a new one, which my mother loaned me money for. My roommate E is who my mother is referring to. She uses she/they pronouns but my mother is transphobic so I have to deadname and misgender them to her (it’s okay with my roommate and I’m also trans so she misgenders and deadnames me to certain people too) When she mentions the dog pooping on the floor, that happened after I left when I was told by her I could leave because she was on her way home Bailey is my mom’s dog and Penguin is my new kitten. My brother, niece, and BIL are all allergic to cats.
Bluonthefront 1 year ago
Keep setting boundaries, and, please, stop with the deadnaming for your mother's comfort. Tell her you will take care of Bailey as it is most convenient for you or she can make other arrangements.
#27
I'm 24 (F), life is expensive so I still live at home. I'm still in school. My mother has decided that in order for me to focus on my education, I'm not allowed to have my boyfriend sleep over and not allowed to sleep over at my boyfriend's. what the f*ck? my blood is actually boiling, I don't understand who she thinks she is controlling like this? And what does she think I'm assuming? This is more of a rant post but I do need advice on how to even proceed... do I reply? do I let her attempt to talk to me about her "rules"?
Kelly Scott 1 year ago
Sheesh! By the time I was 24, I'd been on my own for 7 years making my own way, working a full time job, paying for my own college, and renting a small house by myself (yeah, boomer times). If my parents had tried to tell me what I could or couldn't do, I'd have told them to pound sand. It's awful how expensive apartments and college is today, since kids that age can't get away from their parents anymore like I did.
Kate Jones 1 year ago
Start looking for roommates. Get a job if you don't have one. It might be hard but so is life. I worked full time while in school. I lived with 4 roommates I didn't necessarily like but I had my own space and didn't have to answer to anyone. As hard as it was, I wouldn't have changed a thing. The problem is that some people just don't want to do that. They don't want things to be harder. So if that's how you feel, then unfortunately you have to suck it up. That's the price you have to pay. Don't be scared to leave. It's not always hard. And it's really fun to be your own person. So get out. Start making your life your own. You'll be so grateful later that you busted your butt and got it done without having to compromise to someone else's rules. And on top of that, you'll have a good foundation for being able to handle the things life throws at you later because you were able to be brave and work hard right from the start.
The Queen 1 year ago
I hate to say it, but, it's her house. If she says no men sleeping over, so be it. I will say, that forbidding you to go to the romantic partner's house is not great. But, again, her house her rules. Sometimes, you have to move out to do things you want to do. It May mean doing school part time while working full-time. It sucks, but that's life.
B Jean the Jelly Bean 1 year ago
Yes. Do you pay rent? Groceries, etc? And some parents don't approve of SO spending the night, in their house, with their daughter. Now, staying at his house shouldn't be her issue.
Jennifer Clayton 1 year ago
She's 24 years old. I was married younger than that. Get over yourself.
Load More Replies...
#28
My abusive mother trying to manipulate me to feel bad so that I stay with her after my parents divorce
My mother has been abusive and controlling almost my entire life. She also guilt trips me into thinking I'm 'too young' to know what my gender is. (I am trans male.)After years of her abuse, her and my dad are getting a divorce. She has been trying to get me to stay with her, by bribing me with trips, clothes, on top of gaslighting me.
detective miller's hat 1 year ago
My mother was the same when I moved out when I was 15. Like HOW could I do this to her?!? Idk maybe because you were a controlling and abusive raging b!tch.
#29
My emotionally abusive aunt with my mom after she tried blowing up my phone while I was spending time with my bf (I just told her to leave me alone and respect my boundaries since I cut most contact with her, she's a lying manipulator who tried brainwashingme into thinking my bf was abusive)
B Jean the Jelly Bean 1 year ago
Oops.... With a cell phone everyone expects you to available at all times.
Load More Replies... #30
Our roommate's dad has decided we don't get to live in our apartment anymore
He has no power to do this. He does not live with us. His justification is that we aren't suited to living together (because the apartment isn't perfectly clean) despite us being very happy with our arrangement. Our roommate and her mom (who is a wonderful woman, absolutely love her, it just sucks that she's married to this boomer [jerk]) have both tried to tell him that he doesn't get to make that decision for us, but he has ignored them both. His name is on the lease, but only because he and his wife used to rent this apartment before us. They moved out 3 or 4 years ago and now live an hour away. No idea why he thinks this is ok.
Trillian 1 year ago
Actually if his name is on the lease he legally DOES get to decide who lives in the apartment?
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
I don't understand why he's on the lease if he's not living there neither owning it or being paid. Very odd
Load More Replies...
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
OP and roommate should talk to the landlord, if the father does end the lease, he'll anyway need a new tenant and the one who's already there and paying is the easiest choice.
Anna Chandler 1 year ago
He thinks this is okay because his name is on the lease, so he can literally say who lives in the apartment. Maybe OP should fix that.
What do you think ?
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
Tracking on smartphones was a BIG mistake seriously. No matter how useful it *could* be, the major use of it seems to control children and spouses to ensure they can't flee from abuse.
Panda 1 year ago
I have a couple of friends that track their spouses with approval. They claim it is for safety reasons. It is weird...
Load More Replies...
Kristal 1 year ago
Wow, I have never been more grateful to not have smartphones (they weren't invented yet) when I lived with my mother. I could see her using the tracking thing and holding it over my head, she already did that with finances and anything she offered to 'help' with. Learned long ago not to rely on her for anything.
catastrophegirl 1 year ago
this is where i'm really grateful that i'm gen x and was raised on a diet of independence and self sufficiency. my mom TRIED controlling me through money. at one point she had my only credit card in her possession to try to help me budget better. so i went by the house to get it because my car broke down and i was going to lose my job if i didn't get a new water pump. she spent 20 minutes lecturing me with the card held in between the blades of a pair of scissors. at which point she was still droning on so i told her to forget it and walked out. my friend who gave me a ride was waiting outside and he drove me to the auto parts store where i bought a haynes manual, a water pump, and had a lovely educational conversation with the employees. i had basic tools in the car. this was many years before smartphones or youtube or computerized cars. that day i learned how to replace a toyota water pump in a gas station parking lot in the rain.
catastrophegirl 1 year ago
she didn't give up on trying to control me via money for a long time and it constantly pissed her off to no end that i managed to pay my own way. in my 40s i got laid off and went back college (dropped out in 1994 because she wouldn't pay and they made too much money for me to get financial aid). she offered to pay for it but i had scholarships and grants and she got to go stew over it once again.
Load More Replies...
Agfox 1 year ago
Without knowing al the ins & outs of these relationships, some of these adult children need to grow spines, set boundaries & stick to them
Ace 1 year ago
Yeah, over-controlling parents suck, but many of these appear to be 18 and 19 year olds still living at home with parents, so there's an element of 'our house, our rules' to take into account. Older ones living separate just need, as you say, to tell their parents NO!.
Load More Replies...
Belladonna.dreams 1 year ago
How do these people have the time to be like this? I'm a stay at home mom and I don't have the energy but I have hobbies and pets too. So maybe that's the difference
Alex Boyd 1 year ago
Lots of comments with people saying, in effect, If you take their money, you have to take their behavior, which is *true*, but...you get that it sucks that that's the tradeoff, right? People with reasonably normal parents get to have occasional financial help in young adulthood, without having to cater to the demands of an unreasonable person. I'm pretty unsympathetic when the unreasonable parent's money is going towards something optional, like a big wedding or a trip, but if it's car repairs or rent, sometimes there just isn't a good option.
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
Tracking on smartphones was a BIG mistake seriously. No matter how useful it *could* be, the major use of it seems to control children and spouses to ensure they can't flee from abuse.
Panda 1 year ago
I have a couple of friends that track their spouses with approval. They claim it is for safety reasons. It is weird...
Load More Replies... Kristal 1 year ago
Wow, I have never been more grateful to not have smartphones (they weren't invented yet) when I lived with my mother. I could see her using the tracking thing and holding it over my head, she already did that with finances and anything she offered to 'help' with. Learned long ago not to rely on her for anything.
catastrophegirl 1 year ago
this is where i'm really grateful that i'm gen x and was raised on a diet of independence and self sufficiency. my mom TRIED controlling me through money. at one point she had my only credit card in her possession to try to help me budget better. so i went by the house to get it because my car broke down and i was going to lose my job if i didn't get a new water pump. she spent 20 minutes lecturing me with the card held in between the blades of a pair of scissors. at which point she was still droning on so i told her to forget it and walked out. my friend who gave me a ride was waiting outside and he drove me to the auto parts store where i bought a haynes manual, a water pump, and had a lovely educational conversation with the employees. i had basic tools in the car. this was many years before smartphones or youtube or computerized cars. that day i learned how to replace a toyota water pump in a gas station parking lot in the rain.
catastrophegirl 1 year ago
she didn't give up on trying to control me via money for a long time and it constantly pissed her off to no end that i managed to pay my own way. in my 40s i got laid off and went back college (dropped out in 1994 because she wouldn't pay and they made too much money for me to get financial aid). she offered to pay for it but i had scholarships and grants and she got to go stew over it once again.
Load More Replies... Agfox 1 year ago
Without knowing al the ins & outs of these relationships, some of these adult children need to grow spines, set boundaries & stick to them
Ace 1 year ago
Yeah, over-controlling parents suck, but many of these appear to be 18 and 19 year olds still living at home with parents, so there's an element of 'our house, our rules' to take into account. Older ones living separate just need, as you say, to tell their parents NO!.
Load More Replies... Belladonna.dreams 1 year ago
How do these people have the time to be like this? I'm a stay at home mom and I don't have the energy but I have hobbies and pets too. So maybe that's the difference
Alex Boyd 1 year ago
Lots of comments with people saying, in effect, If you take their money, you have to take their behavior, which is *true*, but...you get that it sucks that that's the tradeoff, right? People with reasonably normal parents get to have occasional financial help in young adulthood, without having to cater to the demands of an unreasonable person. I'm pretty unsympathetic when the unreasonable parent's money is going towards something optional, like a big wedding or a trip, but if it's car repairs or rent, sometimes there just isn't a good option.
Related on Bored Panda
