You never really know what another person is going through. (Solipsists go as far as to say that you are the only conscious being in existence.)
Some might be able to articulate their experiences, but it can still be difficult to comprehend the depth of their words, even if you know their meaning.
So when one Reddit user asked everyone on the platform to share a feeling they believe is indescribable to someone who hasn't had it, people immediately started submitting their answers, highlighting the complexity of human interaction.
Continue scrolling to check out the entries, and don't miss the conversation we had with Barbara Jaffe, Ed.D. — you will find it in between the stories.
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The loss of a pet.
Hard to explain that I've grieved harder for a dog somehow than I ever have for a human.
When my gorgeous girl cat of 18 years died, I grieved more than for my father.
My dad sobbed when we had to put our 18 year old cat to sleep. I don't remember him crying when his brother or parents passed.
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Indeed. I lost my mom and a few months later one of my cats. I cried much more when I lost him. For me, the hurt is more because I keep thinking did he knew he was loved ? Did he knew how much he meant to me ? Did he knew that he was more like a child to me than a cat ? Did I love him enough ? With a human being, you can say what you needed to say and they would understand. With an animal, you can't be sure.
A big part of feeling such deep grief at losing a pet is that they are often a bigger part of your life than a human. You are their world and that bond is usually stronger than any other you will ever experience. Even your kids grow up and move out on their own. Your pet never will. I am not ashamed to say I felt more pain at the loss of my dog than at the loss of my parents. Although in fairness I still miss my mother after 30 years. My father not 30 minutes after he passed.
Exactly. They are a part of our day-to-day routines. I work from home, so my kitty Gigi was usually hanging around watching me or wanting to cuddle between me and my keyboard. Her brother CJ was in his cat tree where he could watch us both. We had to say goodbye to them last August within 3 weeks of each other and I'm not over it. We have one of the 3 sibs left, and he grieved as well. He's walk around howling, looking in the places they liked. Tearing up now writing about it.
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After having to have our gorgeous cat put to sleep, the tears were gushing down my face and as my wife got in the car she let out the most wounded howl of anguish I've ever heard. Two years down the line, I'm in tears writing about it.
I lost peep my duck and daughter in February and I’m still crying over it. I miss my ducky
I think it is because pets are so innocent and pure. If they don't like you, they let you know. If you treat them bad, they do the same with you. If you see them as a beloved family member, they will trust and love you in return. Simple as that.
What about the redoubling of that pain when some insensitive @ss says, "Why so sad? It was just an animal."
Family lost our beloved pet dog that we'd had since he was a puppy. Family will still describe it as "You'd think we lost Sister's Name."
I think it's because they love unconditionally, and you cannot communicate to them just how much they mean to you. With humans we have words to explain.
It's easier to understand when you understand a pet to be an individual with unique characteristics who can never be fully replaced ever again.
My resident demon-cat Alexander died at the vet's while I was away for a long weekend. He had developed kidney disease, and was being treated. I brought his corpuscattus home and buried him next to my patio. It was a hot day and sweat was streaming off my face, but I also realized that I was crying my heart out, too. I cried for my cat, not for my aunt, who I did also love, but didn't need to cry for.
my dog of a little over two years died on Dec 31st of 2023. i grieved more than for my cousin
I am the same way with cats. The only time they break your heart is when they die.
The family pet is the only member of my family that I've never had an argument with or fallen out with.
I went through this with my horse; I still feel his nose and breathe, and the way it smells, in my dreams, 20 years later. You either get it, or you don't.
My puppers of 16 years recently passed around November of last year. I still cry about the loss of my baby boy and to put the icing on the cake i didn't want to go to work but i can't afford to miss a day. My mom and dad looked after him and around 3am they called and told me he passed. I was on break and took an extra 10mins to compose myself and go back to work. The client wanted me gone for being over break time by 10mins. I am a security officer contractor there are 2 officers in the post each shift so there was someone there to cover that 10 extra mins. I told my boss, hell even text him right when i found out at 3am which he wasn't awake but when he came in he knew. Him and i were close so we knew e what was going on with each other and the client called him on his day odd the day his mother in law passed and told him to deal with it. He worked so hard to have me change sites and not get fired. It made that moment so much more traumatic. I miss my baby boy so damn hard.
A little over a year ago I lost the love of my life, a sweet little Yorkie who was only 11.5. I was on the verge of suicide. I’m muddled through and came out the other side with the help of a very sweet stray dog that I was going to foster and ended up adopting. He literally saved me.
I think part of it is usually by the time our parents pass away, we have lived apart from them and are no longer tightly bonded emotionally. With our pets, we are emotionally bonded everyday until they die.
A neighbour cat who decided a couple years ago to come and live with us 99% of the time, was put to sleep today. He was in heart and respiratory failure. He was only three years old. I am absolutely heart broken, especially since our other cat died in Jan. The house is just so quiet 😫
So very very true. The unconditional love a pet is something that humans can't replicate.
I know how you feel. I think it has to do with a beloved pet's innocence. Humans are not innocent no matter how good they are. Additionally, they can't tell you how they feel so you project and imagine how they must have felt. That may be worse than the truth of the matter, but we'll never know; not in this life.
I recently had to get my 15 year old beautiful dog, Maisie, put to sleep. Unfortunately it came a week after my partner lost his Mum. He said he couldn't support me in my grief as he was too wrapped up in his. He wouldn't even be with me when she died. All my tears have been on my own and I just can't come to terms with her being gone. It's awful to not be able to grieve for her openly in front of my partner. I miss her so much. 😞
We had three dogs each a year apart and lost one in 2013 age 17, then in 2014 age 17 years then the last in 2015 aged 17 years. A sheltie, rat terrier then pugeranian. Hubby and I were inconsolable & folks could not understand our depth of grief. It took almost 4 years before we could begin to think of adopting a rescue. We finally adopted a rescue from the Edmonton Humane Society (AB, Canada). She was 3 months old when we adopted her (a German Shepherd/St. Bernard/Labrador Retriever mix). She is a 100 pound gentle giant & is highly sociable & a delight. But we will never forget our previous fur babies. 🐶🐶🐾🐾
I feel this. Everytime. Every Kritter Kid. My own, someone else's, abandoned/stray, domestic/wild/feral, when we lose a Kritter Kid we always miss our Besty. Always wondering if they're still with us - "Did I just feel them jump onto the bed? " - " Did I just hear them walk across the floor? " ...and Why do we grieve for these kritters? BECAUSE THEY ARE FAMILY TOO!
It's been 5 months. But I dreamed about my dog last night. I miss him so much
::hugs:: I lost my heart-dog, Ember, in 2010. I still miss her. I have two dogs now (and two cats!) but I still miss Ember. I still hear her collar or the click of her claws sometimes.
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I still get hit every once in a while about pets I've lost over the years. I have 7 currently, with my 4 dogs all over 10 so I know it's coming around to that time again, and I'm just trying to enjoy every moment I have whether it's months or years. And when they're gone, I'll do it all over again cause the joy is worth the pain
I lost my older brother when he was 25. Of course I grieved when it happened but He was sick for a good chunk of his life and I didn’t expect him to live past the age of 25 so it was a death I had prepared myself for. Several years later my cat got hit by a car and died. My best friend called me while I was still holding her lifeless body in my arms. After I somehow managed to get the words out that my cat was dead she said wow you are crying harder for the cat than you were when you told me about your brother. Yeah, different circumstances
I'm pretty sure that if you lose a human child, you can understand what losing a pet feels like.
There are two dogs I have been grieving for for 14 years. My relatives I am over it.
My cat just turned 11… I know she’s still got a few good years left in her, but God I’m so scared
I love my cat(s) and or dog(s) more than I love most people. They are a positive, full of unconditional love and an everyday part of my life. I always rescue. Each one is so special and unique. No other soul can begin to "replace" the one that dies. But, bringing another into my life, eases my pain, fills the gap and saves a life. Fostering with the option to adopt is pretty cool too. Except the 10 year old cat we started fostering in December, is now a foster-fail, we adopted him in January. I have a beautiful 12 year old, 65 pound rescue, named Stella, dying of cancer. She is lying here with her head in my lap, vet says we might have another month together. When she crosses over, we will adopt another for us, the remaining young pup and the old cat left behind. But Stella will never be forgotten or replaced, just like all that came before her. ❤️
They are part of the family, when they die you lose a family member
It breaks your heart when you lose a pet, I lost my two Sheltie's within seven months of each other several years ago. I miss them every day. I also lost my favorite chicken Violet a few weeks ago, she was a sweet girl and would hop on my lap and chill for a little while, I'll miss that and her forever.
Pets love with all of their little hearts and souls. That's why we are more impacted by their deaths. A humans love comes with with conditions. How you behave, what you do for them.
I'm still grieving my cat almost 1 year later. My anxiety/mental health worsened afterwards and still hasn't recovered. My husband is ready to get another cat this summer.
I fully understand. I had a Boxer who crossed the 🌈 bridge 8 years ago and the pain and grief from that loss was so intense. I still haven't been able to get another dog.
I was almost catatonic when my dog died suddenly. I didn't react that way for anyone in my family except my dad
I work as a vet nurse. People often apologize for crying. We always say there's nothing to apologize for. We've all been there.
I still have dreams about pets I've lost. When I wake up and realize all over again that they're gone, it makes me cry a little.
Didn't think I would survive the last one. Didn't want to, either. But, I made it. Still hurts 4 years later.
when my girl was let go, I could physically feel her absence at home. she was my soul mate. I don't really believe in an afterlife, but I'm hopeful I could see her again
My big male coydog died in December. I have a chronic health issue that gets worse under stress. I got so sad I nearly died. Over my dog. Not even embarrassed.
My wife had a cat. Her cat, I'm not a cat person. He was about 17 and just stopped eating. My wife couldn't do it so I took him to the vet. The vet told me it was his time and I could just drop him off and leave. No, I couldn't do that. We couldn't stand each other but he was a good cat and I wouldn't leave him until he was gone.
It''s because dogs (and I guess cats too) deserve so much more than a dozen or so years of life. They're far better creatures than we humans are, and they're full of unconditional love, so it just seems so unfair that they have such short lives.
It's in their eyes the way they just sit and stare at you as if to say "I love you so much" please hold me again so I can give you doggie licks!! people I have my Yorkie as a screensaver on my phone instead of my grand kids; whats wrong with me???
I might be wrong, but I feel like this is because losing a pet is more like losing a child. Parents, grandparents, even siblings have a certain distance to the relationship, even when you are a close family. But losing a pet is like losing a toddler.
We choose our pets, they reward us with the gentle love only good boys and girls can, why shouldn't we grieve harder?
Depression, a feeling of true fear and emptiness at the same time. You don’t want to die, you don’t want to live. It’s weird
To get a better understanding of how people can relate to each other better, we contacted Barbara Jaffe, who is an emeritus English professor and a current fellow in UCLA's Department of Education.
"Empathy is one of the most important qualities a person can possess," Jaffe, author of 'When will I be good enough?', told Bored Panda. "Empathy allows us to understand others on a deeper level. It is also not necessary to have had the same experience as another person in order to feel empathy."
"For example, seeing an unhoused (homeless) person can immediately make us feel sad about that person's situation. If we feel sorry for that person, it sets up an uneven relationship whereby we are looking at the other person, grateful for not being in their position and in a sense, feeling better than that person on some level. However, feeling empathy allows us to understand at a basic emotional level that this other person is feeling pain and perhaps suffering, and we can understand both of those emotions no matter our circumstances, for all of us have had pain and suffering. Therefore, empathy enables us to understand each other and connect in a way that allows us to share our feelings with others."
Period cramps. Half the population will never fully understand how most women carry on like nothing is wrong even though they are in serious physical pain.
Adhd - executive dysfunction
When you really want to do something but pathetically, literally, cannot.
Then suffer guilt from this.
The absolute indifference towards everything in depression.
However, this isn't always effortless for us. "A lack of effective communication can certainly limit our empathizing," Jaffe said. "When we aren't listening carefully to another (or tuning someone out), it is easy for us to also 'unplug' our emotions and not care very much about them. Listening allows us to hear what the person is experiencing and enables us to appreciate at least what that person is going through."
As she pointed out, the more self-absorbed we become and believe that what's happening to us is all that matters, the more we limit our ability to empathize with others. "When we realize that others are going through hard times and they might need someone to talk to, we can accept that we aren’t the only ones who have issues. This mutual understanding of each other’s hardships allows for empathy."
Sneezing out a huge clot on your period.
Oh eww, I know that feeling. Or you stand up and it happens, it’s so ick 😣
Misophonia
SO much more than just "not liking loud noises." There are some noises that are legitimately rage-inducing and make me want to commit violence to make it stop. Other noises make me feel like I'm suddenly going to vomit.
But the really **loud** noises are the worst, because they are *physically painful*. It's really hard to explain to someone what it's like to have a sound hurt your brain, but it's brutal.
And it can be loud to you while no one else hears it. I don't want to be triggered by lip-smacking and it is certainly far beyond a little annoyance. Not something I can 'just ignore.'
General anesthesia. You’re not asleep-it’s nothing like that, you’re not dreaming, you’re nothing… and there is no nothing and you aren’t aware that there’s no nothing.
I've been under a couple times and it is not like sleeping at all. When sleeping you have a sense of time, with anesthesia you go out and then you come back in what feels like it could be a blink even though it was hours - absolutely no sense of time.
Research suggests that women could be better at empathizing with others than men. For example, when The Pew Research Center asked Americans about their thoughts and feelings regarding human suffering in light of the pandemic and other recent tragedies, two-thirds of women (66%) said that in the past year, they have personally thought "a lot" or "some" about big questions such as the meaning of life, whether there is any purpose to suffering and why terrible things happen to people, compared with 55% of men who reported the same.
"There are those who are naturally born with empathy, an innate understanding and feeling for what others are experiencing," Jaffe added. "Some people are empathic souls, yet all of us can learn how to appreciate the emotions of others even if we have never had the same experiences. It is a process that begins internally when we can learn to accept ourselves, one day at a time."
Extreme back pain where you can't move and even struggle to breathe.
Oh hello other me! I think the weirdest part of this type of pain is how insidious it can be. When the back pain and breathing problems are chronic like mine, you start to acclimate to the pain. But there really is no acclimating to not breathing enough. It just steals your brain from you.
Hearing your baby giggle uncontrollably for the first time. Truly unreal. You do everything you can to get them to laugh like that again.
If you don’t want to have children that’s fine and I support your choice!
I don't have or want children, but the pure joy in a young child's laughter is something else.
That actual physical pain because of a heartbreak.
Horrible, traumatic losses are like this. There are times I wish there was some sort of physical sign you would get so that others could understand how bad things are, but I guess that is evolution keeping our enemies from knowing how vulnerable we are at the moment.
For those who want to get better at empathizing with others, Barbara Jaffe recommends three things:
Be kind to yourself. "We must learn to be gentle and patient with ourselves. We must first learn to be empathic with ourselves, to give ourselves a break, to be understanding about our own lives before we can begin to have empathy for others," she said.
Learn to listen — really listen — to others when they are sharing their thoughts and feelings. According to Jaffe, it isn't easy to listen, and our ‘me-centric’ culture isn't helping us develop the habit. But, if we actively try to make eye contact and hear what the other person is sharing, we will get closer to their true emotions.
Share our thoughts with those we trust. "Even if we are a little hesitant to do so, we will experience empathy not only for others but for ourselves. Take a ‘safe risk’ with someone who will listen to us and understand."
The moment your stomach drops after finding out you’ve been cheated on.
I'm gonna get hella esoteric here, but when I retired from programming to be a full-time singer and musician in 2018, I decided if I really wanted to be good at my job, I should start training to sing opera.
It turns out that building a professional operatic sound is bizarre and involves a lot of very fine motor control and the relaxing/engaging of muscles I didn't even know I had. When everything lines up, though, it's insane.
I've just recently started to make some good, professional quality sounds, and the sensation is like nothing in this world. A rumbling in the chest on low notes, a tingling in the "mask" on high notes, and when things are working *really* well, the bizarre sensation like the voice isn't even coming from you. Your body is a perfectly coordinated bellows and the sound just enters the world and carries, like a portal to another dimension of pure sound opened up a couple of inches in front of your face. This is the sound that allows normal people to project unamplified to a house of 2000 people and still be heard over an orchestra.
So yeah, I'm going to say "good operatic singing."
Losing a child. I'm not a parent but I can see for myself how painful it is to lose a child. When my childhood friend died when she was 17, that was the only time I've ever seen a man cry so hard.
Oh heavens at 17? That must have been extremely devastating! I‘ve lost my first child shortly before her due date and I think I will forever be gratefull, that she died like that and has not lived to be any age within her childhood or teen years. That would have broken me.
The loss of a parent. It's like you're part of a really s****y club that you have to be in to fully understand.
And the other way round with loss of a child. No parent should outlive their child
Panic attack
Sleep paralysis
I had sleep paralysis and it truly terrified me. Not long after I watched a programme about it, now I just think oh it's that again.
Latching on that monster booger that's been haunting your nasal cavity for the past 24 hours and slowly getting it out, then being able to breathe through that nostril.
eughhh *shudders* that feeling when it's coming out though it feels like getting that one spaghetti in the back of your throat when you ate too much 🤢
Trying to revive a dying person while their wife stands next to you screaming for them. And you’re covered in his vomit and he’s turning blue and you’re 16 and panicking and there’s a dozen people watching you desperately attempt CPR and you don’t even know what happened to him you just know nobody else can help.
Brain zaps for some when coming off of certain anti-depressants. It can be completely disorienting and borderline torturous.
Hate. Like, *real* hate.
I've just recently felt real hate for the first time. Not spur-of-the-moment anger or rage, but persistent hate. I want terrible things to happen to this person. I hope they lose their job. I hope they end up broke and can't move out of their POS dad's house. I hope their friends shun them. I hope they fail at everything they want to succeed in. I hope they get mugged. I hope their new car gets totalled. I hope they suffer. I hope they feel nothing but despair. They were one of my best friends for over a decade, and now, if they died tomorrow, I wouldn't go to their funeral.
This is the most nasty, disgusting thing I've ever felt. It's like a fire in my chest that turns everything it touches black. I'm ashamed to feel the way I do. I *hate* hate. I hate that I feel this way about another person. But I do
That adreneline from walking onto a stage. Then that moment where you overcome whatever hardship that was presented on that stage and the croud roars and cheers you on. That is a high that I chase non stop. And it never gets old.
It might be because I've just read the pie post, but that curtain doesn't half look like rhubarb
Pure and unconditional love. That way it sitting on your heart, the warm feeling it spreads across your chest. The infinite happiness when you are with them. The unspoken words between each other that both fully understand. And knowing that, that person is the first and last face you see.
On the other hand, the sudden loss of one of the most important people in your life. That empty void that was once positive emotions, now dark negative emotions or no emotions at all. The coldness you feel towards life and towards the world. Like a piece of your own soul was also lost that day, a piece that will never come back.
Completely blocking out events in your life and suddenly remembering them.
Borderline Personality Disorder. It feels... awful. You cannot trust your brain (I also have bipolarity), you overshare, overthink, over attach to ANYONE. Fighting those feelings is draining. You are a prisoner of your own brain.
Standing on stage and singing lyrics you wrote into a microphone while a crowd sings them back at you.
Incredible. It’s a high I’ve never replicated in the years since I stopped making music as a serious endeavor.
That's got to be incredible, and so affirming. Hard to duplicate that with self-affirmation.
Hypoglycemia. I am type one diabetic and although i have very tight control thanks to low carb, occasionally low glucose events can still happen. Very scary feeling, shaky with a sense of horrific doom. Hard to explain to my husband and its weird to me that he will never know what i mean when i tell him about it. Only happens a few times a year thankfully!
Firstly, well done!! To keep working through this is so incredibly draining, you're doing amazingly! I feel this! It's a very hard one to explain, I've suffered with hypoglycemia for years to the point of blacking out, the only way I can describe it is like a dream state world where you're detached from everything but still there with the feeling of being very drunk movement, speech and brain functionality wise but not. Feeling trapped by it all. Unfortunately this is a daily/weekly occurrence my end and the feeling never changes. My heart goes out there to all you other type 1's! ❤️
Dissociation
Literally my default state. It's like an out of body experience, you feel disconnected from everything and function like you're on autopilot, your vision goes hazy, there's emotional numbness and memory lapses. That mixed with depression. It's not a great feeling.
Coma. I had the privilege of falling into a coma. Can't describe it to anyone, and everyone who's heard of it asked how it felt
True story- I was in a coma nearly twenty years ago ( got badly beaten up outside a nightclub) and from what I remember was that I thought i was on a ship- like a roman ship where you have to row, and that the ship was rocking.... I later found out when i recovered, that the reason I thought I was on a ship, was in fact, the intensive care bed where I was laying, had air cushions that rocked you, to prevent bed sores....
When a hair gets caught behind your prosthetic eye and you pull it out and feel it sliiiiiiiiiiide through your remaining eye bits.
ok i hope I will never ever ever ever have to experience this
Going through a psychosis
The same goes for the people who have to watch you do it. My ex-husband lost his mind right in front of me and the person that emerged from that took over from my actual husband and killed him. I can't even describe how traumatic that was.
Skydiving. 1 minute of freefall from 15000ft... total system overload!!
System overload is the right wording for this. For the first second or two, your brain cannot deal with what is happening to your body. It braces for an impact that is thousands of metres below. Everything is scrambled. Thankfully, rational brain takes over and you can start to enjoy the view and the sensations.
Getting tased. Words don't really capture what happens. It isn't exactly pain, but it's not good either.
Phantom pain of your body trying to pull up a testicle that have been removed and how it feels like it was sucking on air and then it freaking out and making it ache where it’s no longer there.
Having a migraine is one that wasn't mentioned above. The kind of pain that when you're walking feels like you're being hit on the head with a hammer every time your foot hits the ground, or feels like the inside of your skull has spikes on it that are poking into your brain, or make a grown man go to the emergency room crying like a baby.
Having chronic and deabilitating migraines is really bad. Longest migraine I've had lasted 5 months straight. Lost over 30 pounds. Vertigo, extreme nausea, hallucinating, passing out. You never get used to these things with a migraine. I've been dealing with migraines like this the last 34 years.
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I mentioned this on another post a moment ago, but the feeling of when someone who you genuinely thought cared about you (platonically), just wanted to sleep with you. It's this feeling of betrayal, worthlessness, pointlessness, just feeling like you've wasted whatever you put into that relationship.
And it just feels gross - like physically gross. I'm not saying the other person is physically gross, of course! I've had this happen to me and I found my reaction was both emotional and physical, like I was repulsed.
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The isolation, powerless and hopelessness that is abuse. When someone who is supposed to care about you spends every day tearing you down, manipulating you, isolating you and destroying any means of escape. Losing all hope or faith as you watch your abuser being praised and congratulated for how wonderful they are for putting up with you. Nobody believing that you are being abused. Knowing your only way out is one of you dying. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
True suicidal feeling. There are people that are depressed and think about suicide but that's more of a way to just stop the problem(s), if those problems were to be taken care of/disappear, then no suicide. But ... there's a specific feeling in the back of your head that just ... happens. It's not like a switch, but it's not a slow burn either ... that feeling is best described as an opposite awakening ... a deadening. It's a very specific feeling when self-preservation is no longer part of the brain function. It's rather hard to describe but those that have had it know.
Ik ben de wereld, in mij is onstuitbaar de doodsbloem ontloken (Jotie T'Hooft) (I am the world, in me has unstoppable the deathflower emerged)
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Oh and come to think of it, the feeling of your milk coming in. So weird.
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Metastatic cancer. The effects of multiple treatments, medications and doctor visits. We all pass, but when your oncologist tells you that your time is limited - that hits the hardest.
My sister is in the early stages of this grief now. I hope you are doing ok, Phillster, and managing your disease well.
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I was pepper sprayed and HOLY S**T it's one of the worst pains ive ever experienced.
Try being tear-gassed. We had to experience this when I was in the police academy so we would know what it felt like if we had to use it. At least they tell you to not touch your eyes. You just run to the nearest shower and burn your clothes later, because tear gas is a solid, not a gas.
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Extreme tooth pain. There's nothing to do but curl up in the fetal position and cry.
Having a seizure. Most of the time, I have no that I'm going to have one (I have epilepsy & have had many seizures), but it's really terrifying when I do know. Even more so, waking up after a seizure is very disorienting and scary, especially if you're alone.
I have a different type of seizure. Takes place in the communication center of my brain. Can't speak (think stroke victim), can't read, etc. I can continue doing anything else ie doing dishes. Mini seizures feel like the world shifts for a second. Never really been able to explain it.
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Restless legs. I often find it described as pain, and I do often experience it with pain (as I also have fibromyalgia), but there is a distinct sensation that is decidedly different from, but as bad as pain, if not worse. And I know many forms of physical pain only too well (the English language uses that word too broadly, I find). The sensation of being unable to stop moving, when absolutely exhausted and in desperate need of sleep, is unbearable. And after many years it is no longer confined to my legs.
I have to explain it as pain but not pain at the same time. First time I really experienced it was on a 5 hour flight. I wanted to scream. Thankfully I know my triggers and can prevent it. I’m lucky that medication has helped as well.
Load More Replies... I have a few. Being neurotypical- I have no idea what it’s like. I don’t have any way of knowing what it feels like to have a neurotypical brain, and I’m guessing neurotypicals can’t understand my brain either. I wish we could step into others’ brains to feel what it’s like, but that’s impossible. Headrushes- it’s a weird headache mixed with vision going black mixed with phosphenes, and you’re super unsteady, but in a short bit it clears and you carry on like you didn’t just clutch the wall for fear of falling. Dislocations- you can describe it, but the “ooh this fell out of place” feeling is hard to fully get until it happens.
if you don't mind me asking, do you have EDS/has your doctor examined you for EDS? I ask because you basically described the story of my life. EDS (ehlers-danlos syndrome) loves walking hand in hand with autism, adhd, and a condition called POTS, which can cause that dizziness mixed with blacked out vision. EDS itself is a connective tissue disorder that can cause frequent dislocations, and I know I've had many times where I've grabbed my leg because it "fell out" or even stepped into my dislocated knee like it's a boot. don't mind this is you've already been diagnosed, but it's something you may want to do some research on and discuss with your doctor since it's rarely diagnosed
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Being told you have stage 4 cancer and you feel absolutely fine.
WHAT? That's terrible!!!! Is this recent? Have you beaten it, or been newly diagnosed? Whether you want to answer me or not, I pray you're OK, and that you're OK with me doing that; I mean it as an expression of empathy.
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I didn't see fainting on the list. I remember there was a time when other teens my age were trying to faint. I couldn't and still can't understand all these years later why they would want to feel that way. Everything starts fading out to black, but I can still hear, and then, it feels like I want to vomit, let go of my bladder and bowels and go to sleep all at the same time while also feeling overwhelming doom. Happens when i see someone is bleeding or talking about surgery or injuries. It's weird how your body reacts with "I don't like this. Let's just let go of waking life and go to sleep right here". Definitely hard to describe to someone that's never experienced it.
I have fainted twice in extreme heat. I really like cold weather and am comfortable when it's 20 degrees (F) outside walking around in a sweatshirt.
Load More Replies... Tinitus. I've got it pretty bad but my hearing is perfect. No one believes you and there's no treatments just idiots online trying to sell you garbage.
I have had tinnitus nonstop 24/7 for the past 8 years.
Load More Replies... Mine was taking a Percocet for pain, forgetting I had and taking a CDB/THC gummy shortly after. I saw tie-dyed unicorns dancing around the bed that I felt like I was floating above. It wasn't unpleasant, but I won't do that again!
I was given a Percocet for pain while in hospital years ago, and I went to sleep for 10 hours. Had horrible nightmares.
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Poop sweats. It’s a form of vasovagal syncope, which is a near-fainting sensation (or actual fainting) triggered by your vagus nerve reducing blood flow to the brain. In the case of poop sweats, it’s pressure on the vagus nerve from straining to defecate too hard or in the wrong way. It’s the most uncomfortable non-pain feeling I can recall ever having, and I was so relieved to find that it had a name and that there’s a way to cut it off when you start to feel it (bend down forward and put your head as close to between your knees as you can—this keeps blood from draining away from your brain).
EMTs get lots of calls for this when people find themselves on the floor.
Load More Replies... Who downvoted this? There's no attempt to compare how bad it is, or anything else. It's just a totally true fact that there is something very unique about the pain. I've had fractured bones (including a skull) and while I've probably suppressed the memory of the feeling too much to say which is worse, the difference in the nature of the pain is quite substantial.
Load More Replies... To add one in the good feeling column… Hitting a home run. The feeling of the bat connecting with the ball perfectly is just amazing.
Becoming fully blind after having normal vision. If you lose your sight slowly, your brain fills in the blank spots with what it thinks should be there. If you completely lose your sight suddenly, it doesn't get dark like you shut your eyes. It's just like blank. No light. No dark. No color. No orientation of your body. Nothing but blank.
I have severe vision loss, and some of my counselors have experienced just what you described. I am grateful for what I have.
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Lots of bad and tragic stuff in the comments but I'd like to add a good one. How much softer a cat is when they offer love, over just petting them. When my kitties come to me wanting love they are so much softer than if I just pet them on my way through the house.
Being in a large earthquake (over 7 on the richter scale) and not being able to get to your kids in the other room. A decade later, it is still a real fear and you still look around every building you go into, to find the safest exit point, or place to duck and cover with your family. Don't let them roam (as teenagers) without knowing where they are, when they are expected home and who they're with. Gnawing fear is overwhelming at times.
I was at work during the Loma Prieta quake in the San Francisco area in 1989. Truly scary.
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Endometriosis, the pain associated with it can be unbearable. It can't be seen on any type of scan, so there is no “proof" of anything wrong and women are told it's "just" a period and live with it. It doesn't just stay in one area either, it spreads and can cause scarring around internal organs. I had an understanding doctor and had surgery to remove what she could find, but it's impossible to get it all and it grows back until you reach menopause.
My mum and I both feel really guilty because, when my sister started getting her period, she was in a lot more pain than we ever experienced. We struggled so much to understand what she was feeling and made a few comments that we came to realise were insensitive, because we just didn't get it.
Load More Replies... Gary Sinise (as Lieutenant Dan Taylor) in Forrest Gump (1994): “I have a feeling that the shrimp are over this way.”
Anechoic chamber, is amazing not hearing anything but your own respiration for a couple minutes.
I think this can be achieved with earplugs, no? I hear myself breathe when going to sleep with them in
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Trying to explain synesthaesia to someone who has no idea what the heck you're talking about. Especially when you believe everyone has that way of reacting to sounds and numbers!
The adrenaline rush of a kayaking trip through tough rapids followed by the serene calm of the lunch break next to the river. The buzz at a live gig, a properly loud all encompassing gig, the volume overwhelming your senses (wear ear protection ok?) and it beating back your thoughts. The joy of seeing your child climb that first tree or swimming in the sea, seeing their freedom and enjoyment. Selling your first artwork, seeing your art on a strangers t-shirt. Waking up in a warm tent and making a brew in sight of stunning mountains or lakes. The feeling of safety in that tent when the rain is beating down on it and you KNOW you pitched it well.
The kayaking one is intense. I was paddling (I was a newbie) & being coached by ympic paddlers. They accidentally sent me down the wrong fork in the river while they went down the other fork - I ended up in rapids with foaming white water & just "paddled like crazy" & remembered my coach yelling "air brace no good" from an earlier paddle in some rapids. Realizing their error, the paddlers came looking for me & were pleasantly pleased I stayed in my white water kayak and made it through the rapids & white water unscathed. It was terrifying being alone but exhilarating & boy did my confidence get a boost. They really took me under their wing & taught me to roll, etc. I will remember it always.
Load More Replies... Being super empathetic is both a gift & a curse. It is difficult to try to convey how you can tell just by walking into a room "the mood of the room" & how you "feel" the emotions swirling- whether profound or nuanced. Throughout my life, I have had virtual strangers come sit by me & confide their sorrows. When there is celebration or sorrow, most often I feel exceptionally celebratory or grief-stricken to such degree that I am compelled to write - obituaries, remembrance, letters addressed to family, etc. Recollections of even the tiniest tidbits of conversations come to the forefront with clarity of detail to be written down for the bereaved. Too often I have known things that I had no way of knowing & when penned, grieving family & friends find great comfort in the writings & on occasion, a phrase written has been engraved on their tombstone, such as when a 22 yr old cousin died & included in my letter to his parents I wrote "He was sunshine & laughter, hard work & hard play."
I don't have your talent, but I frequently have strangers come up to me in stores and other places and tell me about their life. One woman, who had just lost her husband, started talking to me while I was buying eggs. We were there for about 45 minutes, while she unburdened her grief. I kept trying to find out if I could call someone for her, but she said her kids would be there the next day. So I let her talk until she felt ok. She was not suicidal or anything, or I would have called for an ambulance.
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A total solar eclipse. Those who've never seen or experienced being in the center of totality during a total eclipse will never understand the visual, audible & physical sensations.
I am old enough to have lived through and experienced two total solar eclipses. Amazing.
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Chronic back pain or a chronic pain disorder is one I didn't see. I have CRPS-complex regional pain syndrome and the only way I can describe a flare up is I feel like someone is pouring hot boiling oil onto my skin while thousands of ants are biting along with shards of glass cutting me all at the same time. It's so crippling that I cannot walk(it's in my spine but effects my legs) and there have been times to where I've literally army crawled to the bathroom. Chronic pain is on another level and with there no cure for CRPS and when flare ups get so bad I've had thoughts of unaliving myself just to relieve myself from the pain.
This one may be a bit dark but it happened to me: when you are dying and you stop fighintg and just give up. When I was a kid (7-8?) I almost died by drowning in the sea. The sea was very rough and we got caught by a big wave that rolled me underwater and made me lose the up/down direction. The current was pulling me to open sea where more powerful waves kept me rolling and twisting in the water. I was swimming desperately trying to find air until there was a point that my body just ...gave up and I just...let go. It was somehow liberating, peaceful in a strange way. All was becoming softly black and there was no pain. Then my brother found me, pulled me up from my hair (I felt sharp pain there) and screamed "what do you think you are doing?" This happened many decades ago. I never forgot that feeling and somehow made me to not fear death. It's hard to describe because you don't want to feel it again, but if you do, you know it will be ok? Has anyone felt the same?
Two feelings. The feeling of being about to fall off your horse and knowing that no matter what you do you're going down but also knowing if you don't throw yourself off you're going to end up under the horse. The knowledge that you're going to have to willingly take a hard impact with the hope of not being seriously injured and having to force yourself to do make it happen against every instinct to try and hold on and not fall. The feeling during a competition when you're about to jump a jump as tall as you are on a 1500+lb animal that has a mind of its own. The rush of adrenaline knowing that if anything goes wrong you're probably going to hit the ground hard enough to snap bone but being in perfect balance, with a perfect stride to the jump. Being able to feel the muscles bunching up as the animal youre riding jumps, and the ripple of muscles as he lands clear. The crowd clearing you on as you jump the only clear round on that course that day and know that you probably just won.
Wow! I have only been on a horse once, and just for a gentle ride. Your description was incredible! I hope you do some professional writing, as you have wonderful talent.
Load More Replies... I have to say this is the best, most fascinating article I've seen in BP so far. Thanks to all who shared and enlightened us just a little.
Getting Vertigo, even while watching a scene on tv or a movie, from the top of a building, It's an extreme feeling of falling, the pit of your stomach dropping, dizziness and an overwhelming feeling of being about to vomit.
I can empathize as I suffer from vertigo, and nausea that can strike at any time, and being allergic to Gravol, I travel at all times, with a prescription of Stemetil. It started during my first pregnancy almost 50 years ago and never ceased.
Load More Replies... I'll add gout and gall stones to the list. A bad gout attack is amazingly bad. Had one where my foot swelled to nearly double size, was bright red and the skin on it started to peel like a bad sunburn. All while it's impossible to do anything to relieve the pain in the joint. A light sheet touching it is intense, a breeze blowing on it is nearly as bad. Putting weight on it is unbearable. All you can do is give the d***s a week or two to get it under control. Thankfully once you know it's a problem you can take long term d***s to make sure you don't have further attacks, but the first one or two are hell. As for gall stones, I'll just say have you seen the movie Alien? The pain feels like the dinner scene where the chest burster pops out of John Hurts abdomen. All from something that's between the size of a grain of sand and a small marble.
I'm familiar with a lot of sensations that almost nobody else is ever going to understand. The sensation of doubled anatomy moving in tandem, experiencing doubled sensations from said anatomy, crippling pain during constipation that feels like I'm dying it's so intense... Though one thing I've experienced that I know others can (but hopefully never will) is falling unconscious without losing actual consciousness. It's like falling into a lucid dream that you can't break out of.
Being partially numbed for any procedure - still feeling everything that's happening, just without any pain. I was far too fascinated to be horrified by it, very interesting feeling.
This should be REALLY controversial: Glossolalia. Some charismatic groups would try to encourage "praying in tongues." with a bunch of nonsense syllables to see if something comes out. "Shamalalala." Once in a while, suddenly the syllables would get much more complex, and I'd be torn between whether the shamalama stuff was nonsense or maybe there was something to it. Then one day, in front of 1000s, something very different. Lots of people were doing the shamamlama stuff, but I resisted it a little. Suddenly, it was like these strange words were just being pulled from my chest through my mouth. At first, it was like observing a strange new phenomenon, and then I let go and all time and space just seemed to not exist anymore, and when I was done, I felt incredible peace and everyone was silent and staring at me. Several people claimed to interpret what I had said, and I think there were false prophets among them. But ever since then, when people deny the existence of God, I feel like Jodie Foster's character in Contact.
The irony of Contact is that I know Sagan was an atheist, and I read the book and I know the movie added this theme to it, but it's the most perfect expression of religious faith I've ever encountered... and the fact that I'm not some great Christian fills me with the same feeling of the Children of Narnia who knew Aslan existed, and struggled to do the right thing with that knowledge. But that sense of, (quoting Contact) "I was given something wonderful. Something that changed me. A vision of the universe that made it overwhelmingly clear just how tiny and insignificant -- and at the same time how rare and precious we all are. A vision... that tells us we belong to something greater than ourselves... that we're not -- that none of us -- is alone. I wish I could share it. I wish everyone, if only for a moment -- could feel that sense of awe, and humility... and hope. That continues to be my wish."
Load More Replies... Suffering from PTSD is something that can be described but not truly appreciated unless experienced. To be in the present while assaulted by visual or auditory hallucinations that would have you believe you are somewhere else in the thick of things yet again is so disorienting. Suffering flashbacks and nightmares several times a night - every night - is difficult for many to appreciate and empathize. My daughter-in-law is totally unsympathetic and mocks me for it.
Gender dysphoria. The absolute certainty that you are a different gender than the sex you were born as, and the absolute devastation of knowing your body does not match it. No therapy can change your mind. It's stuck constantly reminding you of ways your body doesn't fit right. And the relief of getting gender- affirming hormones and surgery. Of being in your body and it feeling like a home, not a prison. Having it feel and look like you always knew it should. Gender Euphoria. Feeling seen and affirmed as the gender you know yourself to be. Sometimes it's someone complimenting something about you that reflects your gender. Sometimes it's noticing your silhouette in the mirror being just the right curve. If you're not trans, you don't even realize how much about your gender you take for granted. You wonder why trans people are so obsessed with the concept. But as with any part of your body, you don't think much about it unless it's in pain, Or feeling especially good.
Wernickes encephalopathy and relearning how to do the most basic things again, like hold a spoon, sit up, and walk
Identity crisis. I got very sick with a chronic illness and had to quit my job, couldn't go to grad school, quit karate-quit my life. I went from being the manager, sparring champion, volunteer to being bed bound and in a wheelchair for a long time. I didn't know who I was anymore, but I'm still happy with who I became because I was forced to slow down.
this one's an awful one, but the feeling of being emotionally manipulated in a relationship. it's a sickening feeling of obsessive love because you just have to keep giving more and more for things to work while they keep demanding more and more out of you. even after you're free from it, you come to realize you're all alone because you didn't spend any of your time with anyone else and they've all left you behind too. and it takes forever to heal from it once you're in a new relationship because you just don't feel needed. it's really hard to explain, but if you know this feeling, you know it
the feeling of waking up with your legs dislocated at the knee! the feeling of rolling over in bed and the rest of your leg just doesn't come with you... actually, just dislocations in general are very indescribable. they're nauseating not because they hurt, but because you just instinctively know your limbs aren't supposed to be like that. I've nearly vomited before after dislocating fingers and twisting them to the side. I've popped my entire leg out of my hip socket. that snapping feeling of your jaw going back into place as you bite down on something, the crunching sound of a knee relocating. it's very fun living with EDS
I have gaps in my memory due to migraine. The pain makes you want to vomit but the actual vomiting or retching makes it hurt more.
The crippling frozen feeling right before a seizure, knowing there's no way to stop it and worrying it'll be the one that either kills or permanently cripples you.
On the lighter side, restless leg syndrome. I developed it 2 years ago after knee surgery. The absolute intensity of "I MUST move my leg or the world will implode." is insane.
as an aroace, someone confessing their love. The guilt caused by the feeling of disgust is terrible. I quite literally spiraled when he said he loved me. I would throw up thinking about it and physically hurt myself to distract myself from the fact I was confessed.
I've known two people who probably today would identify as aroace, but I admit being very ignorant of this, so please accept my apologies if I show any great ignorance, but throwing up and especially hurting yourself seem like a red flag for psychological trauma or something gone really wrong to me. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, but maybe tell a professional about what happened... someone a little more knowledgeable than a random guy on the internet like me?
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Getting an IO IV drilled right into your shin while being very aware of it
Having a migraine is one that wasn't mentioned above. The kind of pain that when you're walking feels like you're being hit on the head with a hammer every time your foot hits the ground, or feels like the inside of your skull has spikes on it that are poking into your brain, or make a grown man go to the emergency room crying like a baby.
Having chronic and deabilitating migraines is really bad. Longest migraine I've had lasted 5 months straight. Lost over 30 pounds. Vertigo, extreme nausea, hallucinating, passing out. You never get used to these things with a migraine. I've been dealing with migraines like this the last 34 years.
Load More Replies... I mentioned this on another post a moment ago, but the feeling of when someone who you genuinely thought cared about you (platonically), just wanted to sleep with you. It's this feeling of betrayal, worthlessness, pointlessness, just feeling like you've wasted whatever you put into that relationship.
And it just feels gross - like physically gross. I'm not saying the other person is physically gross, of course! I've had this happen to me and I found my reaction was both emotional and physical, like I was repulsed.
Load More Replies... The isolation, powerless and hopelessness that is abuse. When someone who is supposed to care about you spends every day tearing you down, manipulating you, isolating you and destroying any means of escape. Losing all hope or faith as you watch your abuser being praised and congratulated for how wonderful they are for putting up with you. Nobody believing that you are being abused. Knowing your only way out is one of you dying. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
True suicidal feeling. There are people that are depressed and think about suicide but that's more of a way to just stop the problem(s), if those problems were to be taken care of/disappear, then no suicide. But ... there's a specific feeling in the back of your head that just ... happens. It's not like a switch, but it's not a slow burn either ... that feeling is best described as an opposite awakening ... a deadening. It's a very specific feeling when self-preservation is no longer part of the brain function. It's rather hard to describe but those that have had it know.
Ik ben de wereld, in mij is onstuitbaar de doodsbloem ontloken (Jotie T'Hooft) (I am the world, in me has unstoppable the deathflower emerged)
Load More Replies... Oh and come to think of it, the feeling of your milk coming in. So weird.
Load More Replies... Metastatic cancer. The effects of multiple treatments, medications and doctor visits. We all pass, but when your oncologist tells you that your time is limited - that hits the hardest.
My sister is in the early stages of this grief now. I hope you are doing ok, Phillster, and managing your disease well.
Load More Replies... I was pepper sprayed and HOLY S**T it's one of the worst pains ive ever experienced.
Try being tear-gassed. We had to experience this when I was in the police academy so we would know what it felt like if we had to use it. At least they tell you to not touch your eyes. You just run to the nearest shower and burn your clothes later, because tear gas is a solid, not a gas.
Load More Replies... Extreme tooth pain. There's nothing to do but curl up in the fetal position and cry.
Having a seizure. Most of the time, I have no that I'm going to have one (I have epilepsy & have had many seizures), but it's really terrifying when I do know. Even more so, waking up after a seizure is very disorienting and scary, especially if you're alone.
I have a different type of seizure. Takes place in the communication center of my brain. Can't speak (think stroke victim), can't read, etc. I can continue doing anything else ie doing dishes. Mini seizures feel like the world shifts for a second. Never really been able to explain it.
Load More Replies... Restless legs. I often find it described as pain, and I do often experience it with pain (as I also have fibromyalgia), but there is a distinct sensation that is decidedly different from, but as bad as pain, if not worse. And I know many forms of physical pain only too well (the English language uses that word too broadly, I find). The sensation of being unable to stop moving, when absolutely exhausted and in desperate need of sleep, is unbearable. And after many years it is no longer confined to my legs.
I have to explain it as pain but not pain at the same time. First time I really experienced it was on a 5 hour flight. I wanted to scream. Thankfully I know my triggers and can prevent it. I’m lucky that medication has helped as well.
Load More Replies... I have a few. Being neurotypical- I have no idea what it’s like. I don’t have any way of knowing what it feels like to have a neurotypical brain, and I’m guessing neurotypicals can’t understand my brain either. I wish we could step into others’ brains to feel what it’s like, but that’s impossible. Headrushes- it’s a weird headache mixed with vision going black mixed with phosphenes, and you’re super unsteady, but in a short bit it clears and you carry on like you didn’t just clutch the wall for fear of falling. Dislocations- you can describe it, but the “ooh this fell out of place” feeling is hard to fully get until it happens.
if you don't mind me asking, do you have EDS/has your doctor examined you for EDS? I ask because you basically described the story of my life. EDS (ehlers-danlos syndrome) loves walking hand in hand with autism, adhd, and a condition called POTS, which can cause that dizziness mixed with blacked out vision. EDS itself is a connective tissue disorder that can cause frequent dislocations, and I know I've had many times where I've grabbed my leg because it "fell out" or even stepped into my dislocated knee like it's a boot. don't mind this is you've already been diagnosed, but it's something you may want to do some research on and discuss with your doctor since it's rarely diagnosed
Load More Replies... Being told you have stage 4 cancer and you feel absolutely fine.
WHAT? That's terrible!!!! Is this recent? Have you beaten it, or been newly diagnosed? Whether you want to answer me or not, I pray you're OK, and that you're OK with me doing that; I mean it as an expression of empathy.
Load More Replies... I didn't see fainting on the list. I remember there was a time when other teens my age were trying to faint. I couldn't and still can't understand all these years later why they would want to feel that way. Everything starts fading out to black, but I can still hear, and then, it feels like I want to vomit, let go of my bladder and bowels and go to sleep all at the same time while also feeling overwhelming doom. Happens when i see someone is bleeding or talking about surgery or injuries. It's weird how your body reacts with "I don't like this. Let's just let go of waking life and go to sleep right here". Definitely hard to describe to someone that's never experienced it.
I have fainted twice in extreme heat. I really like cold weather and am comfortable when it's 20 degrees (F) outside walking around in a sweatshirt.
Load More Replies... Tinitus. I've got it pretty bad but my hearing is perfect. No one believes you and there's no treatments just idiots online trying to sell you garbage.
I have had tinnitus nonstop 24/7 for the past 8 years.
Load More Replies... Mine was taking a Percocet for pain, forgetting I had and taking a CDB/THC gummy shortly after. I saw tie-dyed unicorns dancing around the bed that I felt like I was floating above. It wasn't unpleasant, but I won't do that again!
I was given a Percocet for pain while in hospital years ago, and I went to sleep for 10 hours. Had horrible nightmares.
Load More Replies... Poop sweats. It’s a form of vasovagal syncope, which is a near-fainting sensation (or actual fainting) triggered by your vagus nerve reducing blood flow to the brain. In the case of poop sweats, it’s pressure on the vagus nerve from straining to defecate too hard or in the wrong way. It’s the most uncomfortable non-pain feeling I can recall ever having, and I was so relieved to find that it had a name and that there’s a way to cut it off when you start to feel it (bend down forward and put your head as close to between your knees as you can—this keeps blood from draining away from your brain).
EMTs get lots of calls for this when people find themselves on the floor.
Load More Replies... Who downvoted this? There's no attempt to compare how bad it is, or anything else. It's just a totally true fact that there is something very unique about the pain. I've had fractured bones (including a skull) and while I've probably suppressed the memory of the feeling too much to say which is worse, the difference in the nature of the pain is quite substantial.
Load More Replies... To add one in the good feeling column… Hitting a home run. The feeling of the bat connecting with the ball perfectly is just amazing.
Becoming fully blind after having normal vision. If you lose your sight slowly, your brain fills in the blank spots with what it thinks should be there. If you completely lose your sight suddenly, it doesn't get dark like you shut your eyes. It's just like blank. No light. No dark. No color. No orientation of your body. Nothing but blank.
I have severe vision loss, and some of my counselors have experienced just what you described. I am grateful for what I have.
Load More Replies... Lots of bad and tragic stuff in the comments but I'd like to add a good one. How much softer a cat is when they offer love, over just petting them. When my kitties come to me wanting love they are so much softer than if I just pet them on my way through the house.
Being in a large earthquake (over 7 on the richter scale) and not being able to get to your kids in the other room. A decade later, it is still a real fear and you still look around every building you go into, to find the safest exit point, or place to duck and cover with your family. Don't let them roam (as teenagers) without knowing where they are, when they are expected home and who they're with. Gnawing fear is overwhelming at times.
I was at work during the Loma Prieta quake in the San Francisco area in 1989. Truly scary.
Load More Replies... Endometriosis, the pain associated with it can be unbearable. It can't be seen on any type of scan, so there is no “proof" of anything wrong and women are told it's "just" a period and live with it. It doesn't just stay in one area either, it spreads and can cause scarring around internal organs. I had an understanding doctor and had surgery to remove what she could find, but it's impossible to get it all and it grows back until you reach menopause.
My mum and I both feel really guilty because, when my sister started getting her period, she was in a lot more pain than we ever experienced. We struggled so much to understand what she was feeling and made a few comments that we came to realise were insensitive, because we just didn't get it.
Load More Replies... Gary Sinise (as Lieutenant Dan Taylor) in Forrest Gump (1994): “I have a feeling that the shrimp are over this way.”
Anechoic chamber, is amazing not hearing anything but your own respiration for a couple minutes.
I think this can be achieved with earplugs, no? I hear myself breathe when going to sleep with them in
Load More Replies... Trying to explain synesthaesia to someone who has no idea what the heck you're talking about. Especially when you believe everyone has that way of reacting to sounds and numbers!
The adrenaline rush of a kayaking trip through tough rapids followed by the serene calm of the lunch break next to the river. The buzz at a live gig, a properly loud all encompassing gig, the volume overwhelming your senses (wear ear protection ok?) and it beating back your thoughts. The joy of seeing your child climb that first tree or swimming in the sea, seeing their freedom and enjoyment. Selling your first artwork, seeing your art on a strangers t-shirt. Waking up in a warm tent and making a brew in sight of stunning mountains or lakes. The feeling of safety in that tent when the rain is beating down on it and you KNOW you pitched it well.
The kayaking one is intense. I was paddling (I was a newbie) & being coached by ympic paddlers. They accidentally sent me down the wrong fork in the river while they went down the other fork - I ended up in rapids with foaming white water & just "paddled like crazy" & remembered my coach yelling "air brace no good" from an earlier paddle in some rapids. Realizing their error, the paddlers came looking for me & were pleasantly pleased I stayed in my white water kayak and made it through the rapids & white water unscathed. It was terrifying being alone but exhilarating & boy did my confidence get a boost. They really took me under their wing & taught me to roll, etc. I will remember it always.
Load More Replies... Being super empathetic is both a gift & a curse. It is difficult to try to convey how you can tell just by walking into a room "the mood of the room" & how you "feel" the emotions swirling- whether profound or nuanced. Throughout my life, I have had virtual strangers come sit by me & confide their sorrows. When there is celebration or sorrow, most often I feel exceptionally celebratory or grief-stricken to such degree that I am compelled to write - obituaries, remembrance, letters addressed to family, etc. Recollections of even the tiniest tidbits of conversations come to the forefront with clarity of detail to be written down for the bereaved. Too often I have known things that I had no way of knowing & when penned, grieving family & friends find great comfort in the writings & on occasion, a phrase written has been engraved on their tombstone, such as when a 22 yr old cousin died & included in my letter to his parents I wrote "He was sunshine & laughter, hard work & hard play."
I don't have your talent, but I frequently have strangers come up to me in stores and other places and tell me about their life. One woman, who had just lost her husband, started talking to me while I was buying eggs. We were there for about 45 minutes, while she unburdened her grief. I kept trying to find out if I could call someone for her, but she said her kids would be there the next day. So I let her talk until she felt ok. She was not suicidal or anything, or I would have called for an ambulance.
Load More Replies... A total solar eclipse. Those who've never seen or experienced being in the center of totality during a total eclipse will never understand the visual, audible & physical sensations.
I am old enough to have lived through and experienced two total solar eclipses. Amazing.
Load More Replies... Chronic back pain or a chronic pain disorder is one I didn't see. I have CRPS-complex regional pain syndrome and the only way I can describe a flare up is I feel like someone is pouring hot boiling oil onto my skin while thousands of ants are biting along with shards of glass cutting me all at the same time. It's so crippling that I cannot walk(it's in my spine but effects my legs) and there have been times to where I've literally army crawled to the bathroom. Chronic pain is on another level and with there no cure for CRPS and when flare ups get so bad I've had thoughts of unaliving myself just to relieve myself from the pain.
This one may be a bit dark but it happened to me: when you are dying and you stop fighintg and just give up. When I was a kid (7-8?) I almost died by drowning in the sea. The sea was very rough and we got caught by a big wave that rolled me underwater and made me lose the up/down direction. The current was pulling me to open sea where more powerful waves kept me rolling and twisting in the water. I was swimming desperately trying to find air until there was a point that my body just ...gave up and I just...let go. It was somehow liberating, peaceful in a strange way. All was becoming softly black and there was no pain. Then my brother found me, pulled me up from my hair (I felt sharp pain there) and screamed "what do you think you are doing?" This happened many decades ago. I never forgot that feeling and somehow made me to not fear death. It's hard to describe because you don't want to feel it again, but if you do, you know it will be ok? Has anyone felt the same?
Two feelings. The feeling of being about to fall off your horse and knowing that no matter what you do you're going down but also knowing if you don't throw yourself off you're going to end up under the horse. The knowledge that you're going to have to willingly take a hard impact with the hope of not being seriously injured and having to force yourself to do make it happen against every instinct to try and hold on and not fall. The feeling during a competition when you're about to jump a jump as tall as you are on a 1500+lb animal that has a mind of its own. The rush of adrenaline knowing that if anything goes wrong you're probably going to hit the ground hard enough to snap bone but being in perfect balance, with a perfect stride to the jump. Being able to feel the muscles bunching up as the animal youre riding jumps, and the ripple of muscles as he lands clear. The crowd clearing you on as you jump the only clear round on that course that day and know that you probably just won.
Wow! I have only been on a horse once, and just for a gentle ride. Your description was incredible! I hope you do some professional writing, as you have wonderful talent.
Load More Replies... I have to say this is the best, most fascinating article I've seen in BP so far. Thanks to all who shared and enlightened us just a little.
Getting Vertigo, even while watching a scene on tv or a movie, from the top of a building, It's an extreme feeling of falling, the pit of your stomach dropping, dizziness and an overwhelming feeling of being about to vomit.
I can empathize as I suffer from vertigo, and nausea that can strike at any time, and being allergic to Gravol, I travel at all times, with a prescription of Stemetil. It started during my first pregnancy almost 50 years ago and never ceased.
Load More Replies... I'll add gout and gall stones to the list. A bad gout attack is amazingly bad. Had one where my foot swelled to nearly double size, was bright red and the skin on it started to peel like a bad sunburn. All while it's impossible to do anything to relieve the pain in the joint. A light sheet touching it is intense, a breeze blowing on it is nearly as bad. Putting weight on it is unbearable. All you can do is give the d***s a week or two to get it under control. Thankfully once you know it's a problem you can take long term d***s to make sure you don't have further attacks, but the first one or two are hell. As for gall stones, I'll just say have you seen the movie Alien? The pain feels like the dinner scene where the chest burster pops out of John Hurts abdomen. All from something that's between the size of a grain of sand and a small marble.
I'm familiar with a lot of sensations that almost nobody else is ever going to understand. The sensation of doubled anatomy moving in tandem, experiencing doubled sensations from said anatomy, crippling pain during constipation that feels like I'm dying it's so intense... Though one thing I've experienced that I know others can (but hopefully never will) is falling unconscious without losing actual consciousness. It's like falling into a lucid dream that you can't break out of.
Being partially numbed for any procedure - still feeling everything that's happening, just without any pain. I was far too fascinated to be horrified by it, very interesting feeling.
This should be REALLY controversial: Glossolalia. Some charismatic groups would try to encourage "praying in tongues." with a bunch of nonsense syllables to see if something comes out. "Shamalalala." Once in a while, suddenly the syllables would get much more complex, and I'd be torn between whether the shamalama stuff was nonsense or maybe there was something to it. Then one day, in front of 1000s, something very different. Lots of people were doing the shamamlama stuff, but I resisted it a little. Suddenly, it was like these strange words were just being pulled from my chest through my mouth. At first, it was like observing a strange new phenomenon, and then I let go and all time and space just seemed to not exist anymore, and when I was done, I felt incredible peace and everyone was silent and staring at me. Several people claimed to interpret what I had said, and I think there were false prophets among them. But ever since then, when people deny the existence of God, I feel like Jodie Foster's character in Contact.
The irony of Contact is that I know Sagan was an atheist, and I read the book and I know the movie added this theme to it, but it's the most perfect expression of religious faith I've ever encountered... and the fact that I'm not some great Christian fills me with the same feeling of the Children of Narnia who knew Aslan existed, and struggled to do the right thing with that knowledge. But that sense of, (quoting Contact) "I was given something wonderful. Something that changed me. A vision of the universe that made it overwhelmingly clear just how tiny and insignificant -- and at the same time how rare and precious we all are. A vision... that tells us we belong to something greater than ourselves... that we're not -- that none of us -- is alone. I wish I could share it. I wish everyone, if only for a moment -- could feel that sense of awe, and humility... and hope. That continues to be my wish."
Load More Replies... Suffering from PTSD is something that can be described but not truly appreciated unless experienced. To be in the present while assaulted by visual or auditory hallucinations that would have you believe you are somewhere else in the thick of things yet again is so disorienting. Suffering flashbacks and nightmares several times a night - every night - is difficult for many to appreciate and empathize. My daughter-in-law is totally unsympathetic and mocks me for it.
Gender dysphoria. The absolute certainty that you are a different gender than the sex you were born as, and the absolute devastation of knowing your body does not match it. No therapy can change your mind. It's stuck constantly reminding you of ways your body doesn't fit right. And the relief of getting gender- affirming hormones and surgery. Of being in your body and it feeling like a home, not a prison. Having it feel and look like you always knew it should. Gender Euphoria. Feeling seen and affirmed as the gender you know yourself to be. Sometimes it's someone complimenting something about you that reflects your gender. Sometimes it's noticing your silhouette in the mirror being just the right curve. If you're not trans, you don't even realize how much about your gender you take for granted. You wonder why trans people are so obsessed with the concept. But as with any part of your body, you don't think much about it unless it's in pain, Or feeling especially good.
Wernickes encephalopathy and relearning how to do the most basic things again, like hold a spoon, sit up, and walk
Identity crisis. I got very sick with a chronic illness and had to quit my job, couldn't go to grad school, quit karate-quit my life. I went from being the manager, sparring champion, volunteer to being bed bound and in a wheelchair for a long time. I didn't know who I was anymore, but I'm still happy with who I became because I was forced to slow down.
this one's an awful one, but the feeling of being emotionally manipulated in a relationship. it's a sickening feeling of obsessive love because you just have to keep giving more and more for things to work while they keep demanding more and more out of you. even after you're free from it, you come to realize you're all alone because you didn't spend any of your time with anyone else and they've all left you behind too. and it takes forever to heal from it once you're in a new relationship because you just don't feel needed. it's really hard to explain, but if you know this feeling, you know it
the feeling of waking up with your legs dislocated at the knee! the feeling of rolling over in bed and the rest of your leg just doesn't come with you... actually, just dislocations in general are very indescribable. they're nauseating not because they hurt, but because you just instinctively know your limbs aren't supposed to be like that. I've nearly vomited before after dislocating fingers and twisting them to the side. I've popped my entire leg out of my hip socket. that snapping feeling of your jaw going back into place as you bite down on something, the crunching sound of a knee relocating. it's very fun living with EDS
I have gaps in my memory due to migraine. The pain makes you want to vomit but the actual vomiting or retching makes it hurt more.
The crippling frozen feeling right before a seizure, knowing there's no way to stop it and worrying it'll be the one that either kills or permanently cripples you.
On the lighter side, restless leg syndrome. I developed it 2 years ago after knee surgery. The absolute intensity of "I MUST move my leg or the world will implode." is insane.
as an aroace, someone confessing their love. The guilt caused by the feeling of disgust is terrible. I quite literally spiraled when he said he loved me. I would throw up thinking about it and physically hurt myself to distract myself from the fact I was confessed.
I've known two people who probably today would identify as aroace, but I admit being very ignorant of this, so please accept my apologies if I show any great ignorance, but throwing up and especially hurting yourself seem like a red flag for psychological trauma or something gone really wrong to me. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, but maybe tell a professional about what happened... someone a little more knowledgeable than a random guy on the internet like me?
Load More Replies... Getting an IO IV drilled right into your shin while being very aware of it
