You never really know what another person is going through. (Solipsists go as far as to say that you are the only conscious being in existence.)
Some might be able to articulate their experiences, but it can still be difficult to comprehend the depth of their words, even if you know their meaning.
So when one Reddit user asked everyone on the platform to share a feeling they believe is indescribable to someone who hasn't had it, people immediately started submitting their answers, highlighting the complexity of human interaction.
Continue scrolling to check out the entries, and don't miss the conversation we had with Barbara Jaffe, Ed.D. — you will find it in between the stories.
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The loss of a pet.
Hard to explain that I've grieved harder for a dog somehow than I ever have for a human.
Depression, a feeling of true fear and emptiness at the same time. You don’t want to die, you don’t want to live. It’s weird
To get a better understanding of how people can relate to each other better, we contacted Barbara Jaffe, who is an emeritus English professor and a current fellow in UCLA's Department of Education.
"Empathy is one of the most important qualities a person can possess," Jaffe, author of 'When will I be good enough?', told Bored Panda. "Empathy allows us to understand others on a deeper level. It is also not necessary to have had the same experience as another person in order to feel empathy."
"For example, seeing an unhoused (homeless) person can immediately make us feel sad about that person's situation. If we feel sorry for that person, it sets up an uneven relationship whereby we are looking at the other person, grateful for not being in their position and in a sense, feeling better than that person on some level. However, feeling empathy allows us to understand at a basic emotional level that this other person is feeling pain and perhaps suffering, and we can understand both of those emotions no matter our circumstances, for all of us have had pain and suffering. Therefore, empathy enables us to understand each other and connect in a way that allows us to share our feelings with others."
Period cramps. Half the population will never fully understand how most women carry on like nothing is wrong even though they are in serious physical pain.
When I first met my wife I was seriously alarmed at the pain she went through every month. Never realised it could be so crippling. I almost called an ambulance on one occasion.
My ex had endometriosis and watching her suffer was terrible. What made it worse was her mother and sister would blatantly make fun of her and say how she was being dramatic/faking it. I almost carted her to the ER on more then one occasion.
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Women don't all understand each other's cramps either. Cramps vary from a little pinch all the way to being worse than a lot of childbirths, heart attacks, kidney stones, etc. Sometimes people tend to think someone else is exaggerating because their own experience wasn't as bad, but these things vary.
After birthing our first baby I laughed at the idea that I'd EVER have the luxury of forgetting the pain of labor. My cramps have always been childbirth+ level but with none of the "breaks" between contractions. I can sit curled in the tub and watch my entire body shift forward and back with each menstrual contraction, or if I lay on my back, I can watch my abdomen pump like there's a second heart down there... If I've not already completely disassociated while I wait for the pain killers to never kick in... A helpful tip I learned WAY too late in life? If neither ibuprofen or acetaminophen work, one of each (same level strength) can sometimes actually cut through the pain.
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If every man on earth simultaneously experienced having a period, with all that comes with it, everything would come to a screeching halt. They’d consider it a global emergency.
I had to miss school 2-3 days every month because the pain was so bad I literally could do nothing but lie on the floor in a fetal position.
Being sat on the floor in the toilets at work crying and having my boss pestering me to get back to my desk because I'm not jo an authorised break. Being told I'm getting written up for being away from my desk because it's not fare I'm taking a break whilst my coworkers aren't. Then actually being given an official warning for skiving off, when in reality my endometriosis and twisted ovaries are making me feel like I'm being sliced up from the inside out.
I had a former Boss, he came into the back,where I was curled up in a chair, laying my head on the break table.(not supposed to be on break) he asked, what was wrong. And when I told him. He told me I could take the rest of the day off. AND let my coworker take off early to drive me home. He said his ex wife and one of his daughters got them like that; So he understood. I hope this for your future.
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Heck, I can't even understand it. Mine have always been merely annoying and just a general ick feeling. 🤷♀️
That's awesome! Hopefully it stays that way :)
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I've known several women who have occasionally passed out from the pain.
I have a specific bank account that i put a bit of money in through the year and when it's that time of the month for my gf i use that money to buy whatever she needs and i take as much care as i can of her. It sucks and i see you ladies, I'm so sorry.
Mine have also gotten worse with age and added in a new fun feature where my hips and thighs hurt like i just ran a marathon for three days before it starts. FUN!
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Non-uterus having person here, but my partner's experience with having a Morena IUD for most of the past decade+ makes me think that it's the sort of thing that anyone who experiences even moderately painful menstrual cramping or moderate levels of bleeding should at least look into or discuss with their doctor. The main "side effect" is greatly reduced menstruation, and the other side effects from oral birth control are greatly reduced or non-existent. Everybody is different, I'm not trying to "fix" anyone and I certainly don't want to invalidate the very real experiences of people, but if you really do suffer every month for several days, it's worth having a frank discussion with a doctor (if you think your pcp will be dismissive, or don't feel like you can afford it, this is a thing Planned Parenthood can help with) about whether you could be feeling a lot better on a fairly safe and, except initially, usually quite easy medicine that should last about a decade at a time.
Can confirm, mirena IUD has helped me significantly with debilitating periods. It took forever for a doctor to reveal to me that i didnt need to suffer so.
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Period cramps is one of the reasons I'm glad I work from home. Sometimes the pain is so bad that I can't focus on work and I just curl up in a fetal position on my bed for hours.
I’ve had cramps so bad I can hardly stand up. Most of the time it’s less bad for me, but it’s still walking around with constant pain. It’s not just your stomach, it can hit your back. And I know many women have it worse! It can be downright debilitating, and yet it’s treated as a joke by men and women without bad cramping.
Especially with polyps and fibroids. I'd rather give birth, at least the pains come in waves.
I'm going thru perimenopause and my last period (1st in 6 months) and my cramps were the closest I've had to contractions since my son was born 22 years ago
Yup. I used to pass out and miss a day or two of work per month. Lost clots the size of my fist frequently. Maxipads needed hourly changes. Tampons were pointless. Caused worse pain, and used to prolong periods. That were 7 days minimum! Irregular. Unpredictable. My miscarriage was less painful. Gynaecologist tried many oral hormonal treatments, but I became a lunatic. Mirena was my saviour. More localised hormones. Reduced bleed, reduced duration. We decided after 5 years to leave it out as kids were being discussed. Kids not had but periods have been better since. Three things I have learned. Tampons generally increase pain, due to internal irritation, and prolong a bleed. They can also make the following months bleed heavier. Cups/ discs, increase pain due to internal irritation but reduce period by a day or two. Freeflow is the best way to reduce pain and duration.
Someone asked me what they felt like (genuine curiosity) i said it was like your insides are being squeezed and pulled apart at the same time.
I just recently had an emergency appendectomy. I have had cramps that were nearly that bad. Burning pain and spasms from my waist to my knees 5 days a month for 40 years, before I found out I had severe endometriosis. Hysterectomy was a godsend.
What used to get me was the men who said "Oh, you should be used to that by now".
Been there, done that, got the hysterectomy. Get it checked! Could be endometriosis.
Oh my goodness yes! Until I had my uterine ablation in 2010, I never new a pain free "time of the month". The doctor said it would lighten my cycles considerably or stop altogether. Happily, I never experienced another cycle😁. I took what pads/tampons I had left & burned them in effigy.
I used to have cramps so bad I would pass out. Apparently it was because I was fat (5kgs overweight) according to the doctor.
Yeah mine are so bad I can actually spike fevers up to 102. I'm actually on my bc with no in between to try to have as few as possible (with gyn approval) because they won't do a hysterectomy due to my age. They actually checked me for Endometriosis they're so bad, but it's not that.
Every man should have to be connected to a period cramp simulator at least once. Perhaps annually from ages 10-55.
I worked in a doctor's office almost 40 years ago. One of the pharmaceutical folks came in one day. While he was waiting to visit the doctor he told me about a new type of med for menstrual cramps. This type of med is called an anti-prostaglandin. Please ask your doctor about this. It made those several days a month SOOO much better for me - no cramps.
It's all Eve's fault, but you women are so strong to survive all you go thru!!
I think it must be less than half the population (of the world). I‘ve never known anyone who complained about such extreme pains. I am a woman and do have female friends and had of course female family members, classmates and collegues. There were never instances of girls/ woman staying home because of this and never did anyone say anything like this. And we DO talk openly about such things. Could it…. maybe… have anything to do with environment/ food for instance? Edit: I do not understand the downvotes. Can you please explain. I never said I don‘t believe other women have them. I am just wondering why I never heard about this up until around maybe two years ago on the internet. Still don‘t hear about it in RL. And I have asked around. Wouldn‘t you want to know if this was priventable?
No. It varies from woman to woman, and you are fortunate you haven't suffered. I never had debilitating pain, I was better moving, however heavy bleeds made that almost impossible- only stopped when I had a hysterectomy at 57.
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Adhd - executive dysfunction
When you really want to do something but pathetically, literally, cannot.
Then suffer guilt from this.
The absolute indifference towards everything in depression.
However, this isn't always effortless for us. "A lack of effective communication can certainly limit our empathizing," Jaffe said. "When we aren't listening carefully to another (or tuning someone out), it is easy for us to also 'unplug' our emotions and not care very much about them. Listening allows us to hear what the person is experiencing and enables us to appreciate at least what that person is going through."
As she pointed out, the more self-absorbed we become and believe that what's happening to us is all that matters, the more we limit our ability to empathize with others. "When we realize that others are going through hard times and they might need someone to talk to, we can accept that we aren’t the only ones who have issues. This mutual understanding of each other’s hardships allows for empathy."
Sneezing out a huge clot on your period.
Oh eww, I know that feeling. Or you stand up and it happens, it’s so ick 😣
Misophonia
SO much more than just "not liking loud noises." There are some noises that are legitimately rage-inducing and make me want to commit violence to make it stop. Other noises make me feel like I'm suddenly going to vomit.
But the really **loud** noises are the worst, because they are *physically painful*. It's really hard to explain to someone what it's like to have a sound hurt your brain, but it's brutal.
And it can be loud to you while no one else hears it. I don't want to be triggered by lip-smacking and it is certainly far beyond a little annoyance. Not something I can 'just ignore.'
General anesthesia. You’re not asleep-it’s nothing like that, you’re not dreaming, you’re nothing… and there is no nothing and you aren’t aware that there’s no nothing.
I've been under a couple times and it is not like sleeping at all. When sleeping you have a sense of time, with anesthesia you go out and then you come back in what feels like it could be a blink even though it was hours - absolutely no sense of time.
Research suggests that women could be better at empathizing with others than men. For example, when The Pew Research Center asked Americans about their thoughts and feelings regarding human suffering in light of the pandemic and other recent tragedies, two-thirds of women (66%) said that in the past year, they have personally thought "a lot" or "some" about big questions such as the meaning of life, whether there is any purpose to suffering and why terrible things happen to people, compared with 55% of men who reported the same.
"There are those who are naturally born with empathy, an innate understanding and feeling for what others are experiencing," Jaffe added. "Some people are empathic souls, yet all of us can learn how to appreciate the emotions of others even if we have never had the same experiences. It is a process that begins internally when we can learn to accept ourselves, one day at a time."
Extreme back pain where you can't move and even struggle to breathe.
Oh hello other me! I think the weirdest part of this type of pain is how insidious it can be. When the back pain and breathing problems are chronic like mine, you start to acclimate to the pain. But there really is no acclimating to not breathing enough. It just steals your brain from you.
Hearing your baby giggle uncontrollably for the first time. Truly unreal. You do everything you can to get them to laugh like that again.
If you don’t want to have children that’s fine and I support your choice!
I don't have or want children, but the pure joy in a young child's laughter is something else.
That actual physical pain because of a heartbreak.
Horrible, traumatic losses are like this. There are times I wish there was some sort of physical sign you would get so that others could understand how bad things are, but I guess that is evolution keeping our enemies from knowing how vulnerable we are at the moment.
For those who want to get better at empathizing with others, Barbara Jaffe recommends three things:
Be kind to yourself. "We must learn to be gentle and patient with ourselves. We must first learn to be empathic with ourselves, to give ourselves a break, to be understanding about our own lives before we can begin to have empathy for others," she said.
Learn to listen — really listen — to others when they are sharing their thoughts and feelings. According to Jaffe, it isn't easy to listen, and our ‘me-centric’ culture isn't helping us develop the habit. But, if we actively try to make eye contact and hear what the other person is sharing, we will get closer to their true emotions.
Share our thoughts with those we trust. "Even if we are a little hesitant to do so, we will experience empathy not only for others but for ourselves. Take a ‘safe risk’ with someone who will listen to us and understand."
The moment your stomach drops after finding out you’ve been cheated on.
I'm gonna get hella esoteric here, but when I retired from programming to be a full-time singer and musician in 2018, I decided if I really wanted to be good at my job, I should start training to sing opera.
It turns out that building a professional operatic sound is bizarre and involves a lot of very fine motor control and the relaxing/engaging of muscles I didn't even know I had. When everything lines up, though, it's insane.
I've just recently started to make some good, professional quality sounds, and the sensation is like nothing in this world. A rumbling in the chest on low notes, a tingling in the "mask" on high notes, and when things are working *really* well, the bizarre sensation like the voice isn't even coming from you. Your body is a perfectly coordinated bellows and the sound just enters the world and carries, like a portal to another dimension of pure sound opened up a couple of inches in front of your face. This is the sound that allows normal people to project unamplified to a house of 2000 people and still be heard over an orchestra.
So yeah, I'm going to say "good operatic singing."
Losing a child. I'm not a parent but I can see for myself how painful it is to lose a child. When my childhood friend died when she was 17, that was the only time I've ever seen a man cry so hard.
Oh heavens at 17? That must have been extremely devastating! I‘ve lost my first child shortly before her due date and I think I will forever be gratefull, that she died like that and has not lived to be any age within her childhood or teen years. That would have broken me.
The loss of a parent. It's like you're part of a really s****y club that you have to be in to fully understand.
And the other way round with loss of a child. No parent should outlive their child
Panic attack
Sleep paralysis
I had sleep paralysis and it truly terrified me. Not long after I watched a programme about it, now I just think oh it's that again.
Latching on that monster booger that's been haunting your nasal cavity for the past 24 hours and slowly getting it out, then being able to breathe through that nostril.
eughhh *shudders* that feeling when it's coming out though it feels like getting that one spaghetti in the back of your throat when you ate too much 🤢
Trying to revive a dying person while their wife stands next to you screaming for them. And you’re covered in his vomit and he’s turning blue and you’re 16 and panicking and there’s a dozen people watching you desperately attempt CPR and you don’t even know what happened to him you just know nobody else can help.
Brain zaps for some when coming off of certain anti-depressants. It can be completely disorienting and borderline torturous.
Hate. Like, *real* hate.
I've just recently felt real hate for the first time. Not spur-of-the-moment anger or rage, but persistent hate. I want terrible things to happen to this person. I hope they lose their job. I hope they end up broke and can't move out of their POS dad's house. I hope their friends shun them. I hope they fail at everything they want to succeed in. I hope they get mugged. I hope their new car gets totalled. I hope they suffer. I hope they feel nothing but despair. They were one of my best friends for over a decade, and now, if they died tomorrow, I wouldn't go to their funeral.
This is the most nasty, disgusting thing I've ever felt. It's like a fire in my chest that turns everything it touches black. I'm ashamed to feel the way I do. I *hate* hate. I hate that I feel this way about another person. But I do
That adreneline from walking onto a stage. Then that moment where you overcome whatever hardship that was presented on that stage and the croud roars and cheers you on. That is a high that I chase non stop. And it never gets old.
It might be because I've just read the pie post, but that curtain doesn't half look like rhubarb
Pure and unconditional love. That way it sitting on your heart, the warm feeling it spreads across your chest. The infinite happiness when you are with them. The unspoken words between each other that both fully understand. And knowing that, that person is the first and last face you see.
On the other hand, the sudden loss of one of the most important people in your life. That empty void that was once positive emotions, now dark negative emotions or no emotions at all. The coldness you feel towards life and towards the world. Like a piece of your own soul was also lost that day, a piece that will never come back.
Completely blocking out events in your life and suddenly remembering them.
Borderline Personality Disorder. It feels... awful. You cannot trust your brain (I also have bipolarity), you overshare, overthink, over attach to ANYONE. Fighting those feelings is draining. You are a prisoner of your own brain.
Standing on stage and singing lyrics you wrote into a microphone while a crowd sings them back at you.
Incredible. It’s a high I’ve never replicated in the years since I stopped making music as a serious endeavor.
That's got to be incredible, and so affirming. Hard to duplicate that with self-affirmation.
Hypoglycemia. I am type one diabetic and although i have very tight control thanks to low carb, occasionally low glucose events can still happen. Very scary feeling, shaky with a sense of horrific doom. Hard to explain to my husband and its weird to me that he will never know what i mean when i tell him about it. Only happens a few times a year thankfully!
Firstly, well done!! To keep working through this is so incredibly draining, you're doing amazingly! I feel this! It's a very hard one to explain, I've suffered with hypoglycemia for years to the point of blacking out, the only way I can describe it is like a dream state world where you're detached from everything but still there with the feeling of being very drunk movement, speech and brain functionality wise but not. Feeling trapped by it all. Unfortunately this is a daily/weekly occurrence my end and the feeling never changes. My heart goes out there to all you other type 1's! ❤️
Dissociation
Literally my default state. It's like an out of body experience, you feel disconnected from everything and function like you're on autopilot, your vision goes hazy, there's emotional numbness and memory lapses. That mixed with depression. It's not a great feeling.
Coma. I had the privilege of falling into a coma. Can't describe it to anyone, and everyone who's heard of it asked how it felt
True story- I was in a coma nearly twenty years ago ( got badly beaten up outside a nightclub) and from what I remember was that I thought i was on a ship- like a roman ship where you have to row, and that the ship was rocking.... I later found out when i recovered, that the reason I thought I was on a ship, was in fact, the intensive care bed where I was laying, had air cushions that rocked you, to prevent bed sores....
When a hair gets caught behind your prosthetic eye and you pull it out and feel it sliiiiiiiiiiide through your remaining eye bits.
ok i hope I will never ever ever ever have to experience this
Going through a psychosis
The same goes for the people who have to watch you do it. My ex-husband lost his mind right in front of me and the person that emerged from that took over from my actual husband and killed him. I can't even describe how traumatic that was.
Skydiving. 1 minute of freefall from 15000ft... total system overload!!
System overload is the right wording for this. For the first second or two, your brain cannot deal with what is happening to your body. It braces for an impact that is thousands of metres below. Everything is scrambled. Thankfully, rational brain takes over and you can start to enjoy the view and the sensations.
Getting tased. Words don't really capture what happens. It isn't exactly pain, but it's not good either.
Phantom pain of your body trying to pull up a testicle that have been removed and how it feels like it was sucking on air and then it freaking out and making it ache where it’s no longer there.
Having a migraine is one that wasn't mentioned above. The kind of pain that when you're walking feels like you're being hit on the head with a hammer every time your foot hits the ground, or feels like the inside of your skull has spikes on it that are poking into your brain, or make a grown man go to the emergency room crying like a baby.
Having chronic and deabilitating migraines is really bad. Longest migraine I've had lasted 5 months straight. Lost over 30 pounds. Vertigo, extreme nausea, hallucinating, passing out. You never get used to these things with a migraine. I've been dealing with migraines like this the last 34 years.
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I mentioned this on another post a moment ago, but the feeling of when someone who you genuinely thought cared about you (platonically), just wanted to sleep with you. It's this feeling of betrayal, worthlessness, pointlessness, just feeling like you've wasted whatever you put into that relationship.
And it just feels gross - like physically gross. I'm not saying the other person is physically gross, of course! I've had this happen to me and I found my reaction was both emotional and physical, like I was repulsed.
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The isolation, powerless and hopelessness that is abuse. When someone who is supposed to care about you spends every day tearing you down, manipulating you, isolating you and destroying any means of escape. Losing all hope or faith as you watch your abuser being praised and congratulated for how wonderful they are for putting up with you. Nobody believing that you are being abused. Knowing your only way out is one of you dying. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
True suicidal feeling. There are people that are depressed and think about suicide but that's more of a way to just stop the problem(s), if those problems were to be taken care of/disappear, then no suicide. But ... there's a specific feeling in the back of your head that just ... happens. It's not like a switch, but it's not a slow burn either ... that feeling is best described as an opposite awakening ... a deadening. It's a very specific feeling when self-preservation is no longer part of the brain function. It's rather hard to describe but those that have had it know.
Ik ben de wereld, in mij is onstuitbaar de doodsbloem ontloken (Jotie T'Hooft) (I am the world, in me has unstoppable the deathflower emerged)
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Oh and come to think of it, the feeling of your milk coming in. So weird.
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Metastatic cancer. The effects of multiple treatments, medications and doctor visits. We all pass, but when your oncologist tells you that your time is limited - that hits the hardest.
My sister is in the early stages of this grief now. I hope you are doing ok, Phillster, and managing your disease well.
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I was pepper sprayed and HOLY S**T it's one of the worst pains ive ever experienced.
Try being tear-gassed. We had to experience this when I was in the police academy so we would know what it felt like if we had to use it. At least they tell you to not touch your eyes. You just run to the nearest shower and burn your clothes later, because tear gas is a solid, not a gas.
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Extreme tooth pain. There's nothing to do but curl up in the fetal position and cry.
Having a seizure. Most of the time, I have no that I'm going to have one (I have epilepsy & have had many seizures), but it's really terrifying when I do know. Even more so, waking up after a seizure is very disorienting and scary, especially if you're alone.
I have a different type of seizure. Takes place in the communication center of my brain. Can't speak (think stroke victim), can't read, etc. I can continue doing anything else ie doing dishes. Mini seizures feel like the world shifts for a second. Never really been able to explain it.
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Restless legs. I often find it described as pain, and I do often experience it with pain (as I also have fibromyalgia), but there is a distinct sensation that is decidedly different from, but as bad as pain, if not worse. And I know many forms of physical pain only too well (the English language uses that word too broadly, I find). The sensation of being unable to stop moving, when absolutely exhausted and in desperate need of sleep, is unbearable. And after many years it is no longer confined to my legs.
I have to explain it as pain but not pain at the same time. First time I really experienced it was on a 5 hour flight. I wanted to scream. Thankfully I know my triggers and can prevent it. I’m lucky that medication has helped as well.
Load More Replies... I have a few. Being neurotypical- I have no idea what it’s like. I don’t have any way of knowing what it feels like to have a neurotypical brain, and I’m guessing neurotypicals can’t understand my brain either. I wish we could step into others’ brains to feel what it’s like, but that’s impossible. Headrushes- it’s a weird headache mixed with vision going black mixed with phosphenes, and you’re super unsteady, but in a short bit it clears and you carry on like you didn’t just clutch the wall for fear of falling. Dislocations- you can describe it, but the “ooh this fell out of place” feeling is hard to fully get until it happens.
if you don't mind me asking, do you have EDS/has your doctor examined you for EDS? I ask because you basically described the story of my life. EDS (ehlers-danlos syndrome) loves walking hand in hand with autism, adhd, and a condition called POTS, which can cause that dizziness mixed with blacked out vision. EDS itself is a connective tissue disorder that can cause frequent dislocations, and I know I've had many times where I've grabbed my leg because it "fell out" or even stepped into my dislocated knee like it's a boot. don't mind this is you've already been diagnosed, but it's something you may want to do some research on and discuss with your doctor since it's rarely diagnosed
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Being told you have stage 4 cancer and you feel absolutely fine.
WHAT? That's terrible!!!! Is this recent? Have you beaten it, or been newly diagnosed? Whether you want to answer me or not, I pray you're OK, and that you're OK with me doing that; I mean it as an expression of empathy.
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I didn't see fainting on the list. I remember there was a time when other teens my age were trying to faint. I couldn't and still can't understand all these years later why they would want to feel that way. Everything starts fading out to black, but I can still hear, and then, it feels like I want to vomit, let go of my bladder and bowels and go to sleep all at the same time while also feeling overwhelming doom. Happens when i see someone is bleeding or talking about surgery or injuries. It's weird how your body reacts with "I don't like this. Let's just let go of waking life and go to sleep right here". Definitely hard to describe to someone that's never experienced it.
I have fainted twice in extreme heat. I really like cold weather and am comfortable when it's 20 degrees (F) outside walking around in a sweatshirt.
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Tinitus. I've got it pretty bad but my hearing is perfect. No one believes you and there's no treatments just idiots online trying to sell you garbage.
I have had tinnitus nonstop 24/7 for the past 8 years.
Load More Replies... Mine was taking a Percocet for pain, forgetting I had and taking a CDB/THC gummy shortly after. I saw tie-dyed unicorns dancing around the bed that I felt like I was floating above. It wasn't unpleasant, but I won't do that again!
I was given a Percocet for pain while in hospital years ago, and I went to sleep for 10 hours. Had horrible nightmares.
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Poop sweats. It’s a form of vasovagal syncope, which is a near-fainting sensation (or actual fainting) triggered by your vagus nerve reducing blood flow to the brain. In the case of poop sweats, it’s pressure on the vagus nerve from straining to defecate too hard or in the wrong way. It’s the most uncomfortable non-pain feeling I can recall ever having, and I was so relieved to find that it had a name and that there’s a way to cut it off when you start to feel it (bend down forward and put your head as close to between your knees as you can—this keeps blood from draining away from your brain).
EMTs get lots of calls for this when people find themselves on the floor.
Load More Replies... Who downvoted this? There's no attempt to compare how bad it is, or anything else. It's just a totally true fact that there is something very unique about the pain. I've had fractured bones (including a skull) and while I've probably suppressed the memory of the feeling too much to say which is worse, the difference in the nature of the pain is quite substantial.
Load More Replies... To add one in the good feeling column… Hitting a home run. The feeling of the bat connecting with the ball perfectly is just amazing.
Becoming fully blind after having normal vision. If you lose your sight slowly, your brain fills in the blank spots with what it thinks should be there. If you completely lose your sight suddenly, it doesn't get dark like you shut your eyes. It's just like blank. No light. No dark. No color. No orientation of your body. Nothing but blank.
I have severe vision loss, and some of my counselors have experienced just what you described. I am grateful for what I have.
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Lots of bad and tragic stuff in the comments but I'd like to add a good one. How much softer a cat is when they offer love, over just petting them. When my kitties come to me wanting love they are so much softer than if I just pet them on my way through the house.
Being in a large earthquake (over 7 on the richter scale) and not being able to get to your kids in the other room. A decade later, it is still a real fear and you still look around every building you go into, to find the safest exit point, or place to duck and cover with your family. Don't let them roam (as teenagers) without knowing where they are, when they are expected home and who they're with. Gnawing fear is overwhelming at times.
I was at work during the Loma Prieta quake in the San Francisco area in 1989. Truly scary.
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Endometriosis, the pain associated with it can be unbearable. It can't be seen on any type of scan, so there is no “proof" of anything wrong and women are told it's "just" a period and live with it. It doesn't just stay in one area either, it spreads and can cause scarring around internal organs. I had an understanding doctor and had surgery to remove what she could find, but it's impossible to get it all and it grows back until you reach menopause.
My mum and I both feel really guilty because, when my sister started getting her period, she was in a lot more pain than we ever experienced. We struggled so much to understand what she was feeling and made a few comments that we came to realise were insensitive, because we just didn't get it.
Load More Replies... Gary Sinise (as Lieutenant Dan Taylor) in Forrest Gump (1994): “I have a feeling that the shrimp are over this way.”
Anechoic chamber, is amazing not hearing anything but your own respiration for a couple minutes.
I think this can be achieved with earplugs, no? I hear myself breathe when going to sleep with them in
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Trying to explain synesthaesia to someone who has no idea what the heck you're talking about. Especially when you believe everyone has that way of reacting to sounds and numbers!
The adrenaline rush of a kayaking trip through tough rapids followed by the serene calm of the lunch break next to the river. The buzz at a live gig, a properly loud all encompassing gig, the volume overwhelming your senses (wear ear protection ok?) and it beating back your thoughts. The joy of seeing your child climb that first tree or swimming in the sea, seeing their freedom and enjoyment. Selling your first artwork, seeing your art on a strangers t-shirt. Waking up in a warm tent and making a brew in sight of stunning mountains or lakes. The feeling of safety in that tent when the rain is beating down on it and you KNOW you pitched it well.
The kayaking one is intense. I was paddling (I was a newbie) & being coached by ympic paddlers. They accidentally sent me down the wrong fork in the river while they went down the other fork - I ended up in rapids with foaming white water & just "paddled like crazy" & remembered my coach yelling "air brace no good" from an earlier paddle in some rapids. Realizing their error, the paddlers came looking for me & were pleasantly pleased I stayed in my white water kayak and made it through the rapids & white water unscathed. It was terrifying being alone but exhilarating & boy did my confidence get a boost. They really took me under their wing & taught me to roll, etc. I will remember it always.
Load More Replies... Being super empathetic is both a gift & a curse. It is difficult to try to convey how you can tell just by walking into a room "the mood of the room" & how you "feel" the emotions swirling- whether profound or nuanced. Throughout my life, I have had virtual strangers come sit by me & confide their sorrows. When there is celebration or sorrow, most often I feel exceptionally celebratory or grief-stricken to such degree that I am compelled to write - obituaries, remembrance, letters addressed to family, etc. Recollections of even the tiniest tidbits of conversations come to the forefront with clarity of detail to be written down for the bereaved. Too often I have known things that I had no way of knowing & when penned, grieving family & friends find great comfort in the writings & on occasion, a phrase written has been engraved on their tombstone, such as when a 22 yr old cousin died & included in my letter to his parents I wrote "He was sunshine & laughter, hard work & hard play."
I don't have your talent, but I frequently have strangers come up to me in stores and other places and tell me about their life. One woman, who had just lost her husband, started talking to me while I was buying eggs. We were there for about 45 minutes, while she unburdened her grief. I kept trying to find out if I could call someone for her, but she said her kids would be there the next day. So I let her talk until she felt ok. She was not suicidal or anything, or I would have called for an ambulance.
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A total solar eclipse. Those who've never seen or experienced being in the center of totality during a total eclipse will never understand the visual, audible & physical sensations.
I am old enough to have lived through and experienced two total solar eclipses. Amazing.
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Chronic back pain or a chronic pain disorder is one I didn't see. I have CRPS-complex regional pain syndrome and the only way I can describe a flare up is I feel like someone is pouring hot boiling oil onto my skin while thousands of ants are biting along with shards of glass cutting me all at the same time. It's so crippling that I cannot walk(it's in my spine but effects my legs) and there have been times to where I've literally army crawled to the bathroom. Chronic pain is on another level and with there no cure for CRPS and when flare ups get so bad I've had thoughts of unaliving myself just to relieve myself from the pain.
This one may be a bit dark but it happened to me: when you are dying and you stop fighintg and just give up. When I was a kid (7-8?) I almost died by drowning in the sea. The sea was very rough and we got caught by a big wave that rolled me underwater and made me lose the up/down direction. The current was pulling me to open sea where more powerful waves kept me rolling and twisting in the water. I was swimming desperately trying to find air until there was a point that my body just ...gave up and I just...let go. It was somehow liberating, peaceful in a strange way. All was becoming softly black and there was no pain. Then my brother found me, pulled me up from my hair (I felt sharp pain there) and screamed "what do you think you are doing?" This happened many decades ago. I never forgot that feeling and somehow made me to not fear death. It's hard to describe because you don't want to feel it again, but if you do, you know it will be ok? Has anyone felt the same?
Two feelings. The feeling of being about to fall off your horse and knowing that no matter what you do you're going down but also knowing if you don't throw yourself off you're going to end up under the horse. The knowledge that you're going to have to willingly take a hard impact with the hope of not being seriously injured and having to force yourself to do make it happen against every instinct to try and hold on and not fall. The feeling during a competition when you're about to jump a jump as tall as you are on a 1500+lb animal that has a mind of its own. The rush of adrenaline knowing that if anything goes wrong you're probably going to hit the ground hard enough to snap bone but being in perfect balance, with a perfect stride to the jump. Being able to feel the muscles bunching up as the animal youre riding jumps, and the ripple of muscles as he lands clear. The crowd clearing you on as you jump the only clear round on that course that day and know that you probably just won.
Wow! I have only been on a horse once, and just for a gentle ride. Your description was incredible! I hope you do some professional writing, as you have wonderful talent.
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I have to say this is the best, most fascinating article I've seen in BP so far. Thanks to all who shared and enlightened us just a little.
Getting Vertigo, even while watching a scene on tv or a movie, from the top of a building, It's an extreme feeling of falling, the pit of your stomach dropping, dizziness and an overwhelming feeling of being about to vomit.
I can empathize as I suffer from vertigo, and nausea that can strike at any time, and being allergic to Gravol, I travel at all times, with a prescription of Stemetil. It started during my first pregnancy almost 50 years ago and never ceased.
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I'll add gout and gall stones to the list. A bad gout attack is amazingly bad. Had one where my foot swelled to nearly double size, was bright red and the skin on it started to peel like a bad sunburn. All while it's impossible to do anything to relieve the pain in the joint. A light sheet touching it is intense, a breeze blowing on it is nearly as bad. Putting weight on it is unbearable. All you can do is give the d***s a week or two to get it under control. Thankfully once you know it's a problem you can take long term d***s to make sure you don't have further attacks, but the first one or two are hell. As for gall stones, I'll just say have you seen the movie Alien? The pain feels like the dinner scene where the chest burster pops out of John Hurts abdomen. All from something that's between the size of a grain of sand and a small marble.
I'm familiar with a lot of sensations that almost nobody else is ever going to understand. The sensation of doubled anatomy moving in tandem, experiencing doubled sensations from said anatomy, crippling pain during constipation that feels like I'm dying it's so intense... Though one thing I've experienced that I know others can (but hopefully never will) is falling unconscious without losing actual consciousness. It's like falling into a lucid dream that you can't break out of.
Being partially numbed for any procedure - still feeling everything that's happening, just without any pain. I was far too fascinated to be horrified by it, very interesting feeling.
This should be REALLY controversial: Glossolalia. Some charismatic groups would try to encourage "praying in tongues." with a bunch of nonsense syllables to see if something comes out. "Shamalalala." Once in a while, suddenly the syllables would get much more complex, and I'd be torn between whether the shamalama stuff was nonsense or maybe there was something to it. Then one day, in front of 1000s, something very different. Lots of people were doing the shamamlama stuff, but I resisted it a little. Suddenly, it was like these strange words were just being pulled from my chest through my mouth. At first, it was like observing a strange new phenomenon, and then I let go and all time and space just seemed to not exist anymore, and when I was done, I felt incredible peace and everyone was silent and staring at me. Several people claimed to interpret what I had said, and I think there were false prophets among them. But ever since then, when people deny the existence of God, I feel like Jodie Foster's character in Contact.
The irony of Contact is that I know Sagan was an atheist, and I read the book and I know the movie added this theme to it, but it's the most perfect expression of religious faith I've ever encountered... and the fact that I'm not some great Christian fills me with the same feeling of the Children of Narnia who knew Aslan existed, and struggled to do the right thing with that knowledge. But that sense of, (quoting Contact) "I was given something wonderful. Something that changed me. A vision of the universe that made it overwhelmingly clear just how tiny and insignificant -- and at the same time how rare and precious we all are. A vision... that tells us we belong to something greater than ourselves... that we're not -- that none of us -- is alone. I wish I could share it. I wish everyone, if only for a moment -- could feel that sense of awe, and humility... and hope. That continues to be my wish."
Load More Replies... Suffering from PTSD is something that can be described but not truly appreciated unless experienced. To be in the present while assaulted by visual or auditory hallucinations that would have you believe you are somewhere else in the thick of things yet again is so disorienting. Suffering flashbacks and nightmares several times a night - every night - is difficult for many to appreciate and empathize. My daughter-in-law is totally unsympathetic and mocks me for it.
Gender dysphoria. The absolute certainty that you are a different gender than the sex you were born as, and the absolute devastation of knowing your body does not match it. No therapy can change your mind. It's stuck constantly reminding you of ways your body doesn't fit right. And the relief of getting gender- affirming hormones and surgery. Of being in your body and it feeling like a home, not a prison. Having it feel and look like you always knew it should. Gender Euphoria. Feeling seen and affirmed as the gender you know yourself to be. Sometimes it's someone complimenting something about you that reflects your gender. Sometimes it's noticing your silhouette in the mirror being just the right curve. If you're not trans, you don't even realize how much about your gender you take for granted. You wonder why trans people are so obsessed with the concept. But as with any part of your body, you don't think much about it unless it's in pain, Or feeling especially good.
Wernickes encephalopathy and relearning how to do the most basic things again, like hold a spoon, sit up, and walk
Identity crisis. I got very sick with a chronic illness and had to quit my job, couldn't go to grad school, quit karate-quit my life. I went from being the manager, sparring champion, volunteer to being bed bound and in a wheelchair for a long time. I didn't know who I was anymore, but I'm still happy with who I became because I was forced to slow down.
this one's an awful one, but the feeling of being emotionally manipulated in a relationship. it's a sickening feeling of obsessive love because you just have to keep giving more and more for things to work while they keep demanding more and more out of you. even after you're free from it, you come to realize you're all alone because you didn't spend any of your time with anyone else and they've all left you behind too. and it takes forever to heal from it once you're in a new relationship because you just don't feel needed. it's really hard to explain, but if you know this feeling, you know it
the feeling of waking up with your legs dislocated at the knee! the feeling of rolling over in bed and the rest of your leg just doesn't come with you... actually, just dislocations in general are very indescribable. they're nauseating not because they hurt, but because you just instinctively know your limbs aren't supposed to be like that. I've nearly vomited before after dislocating fingers and twisting them to the side. I've popped my entire leg out of my hip socket. that snapping feeling of your jaw going back into place as you bite down on something, the crunching sound of a knee relocating. it's very fun living with EDS
I have gaps in my memory due to migraine. The pain makes you want to vomit but the actual vomiting or retching makes it hurt more.
The crippling frozen feeling right before a seizure, knowing there's no way to stop it and worrying it'll be the one that either kills or permanently cripples you.
On the lighter side, restless leg syndrome. I developed it 2 years ago after knee surgery. The absolute intensity of "I MUST move my leg or the world will implode." is insane.
as an aroace, someone confessing their love. The guilt caused by the feeling of disgust is terrible. I quite literally spiraled when he said he loved me. I would throw up thinking about it and physically hurt myself to distract myself from the fact I was confessed.
I've known two people who probably today would identify as aroace, but I admit being very ignorant of this, so please accept my apologies if I show any great ignorance, but throwing up and especially hurting yourself seem like a red flag for psychological trauma or something gone really wrong to me. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, but maybe tell a professional about what happened... someone a little more knowledgeable than a random guy on the internet like me?
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Getting an IO IV drilled right into your shin while being very aware of it
Having a migraine is one that wasn't mentioned above. The kind of pain that when you're walking feels like you're being hit on the head with a hammer every time your foot hits the ground, or feels like the inside of your skull has spikes on it that are poking into your brain, or make a grown man go to the emergency room crying like a baby.
Having chronic and deabilitating migraines is really bad. Longest migraine I've had lasted 5 months straight. Lost over 30 pounds. Vertigo, extreme nausea, hallucinating, passing out. You never get used to these things with a migraine. I've been dealing with migraines like this the last 34 years.
Load More Replies... I mentioned this on another post a moment ago, but the feeling of when someone who you genuinely thought cared about you (platonically), just wanted to sleep with you. It's this feeling of betrayal, worthlessness, pointlessness, just feeling like you've wasted whatever you put into that relationship.
And it just feels gross - like physically gross. I'm not saying the other person is physically gross, of course! I've had this happen to me and I found my reaction was both emotional and physical, like I was repulsed.
Load More Replies... The isolation, powerless and hopelessness that is abuse. When someone who is supposed to care about you spends every day tearing you down, manipulating you, isolating you and destroying any means of escape. Losing all hope or faith as you watch your abuser being praised and congratulated for how wonderful they are for putting up with you. Nobody believing that you are being abused. Knowing your only way out is one of you dying. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
True suicidal feeling. There are people that are depressed and think about suicide but that's more of a way to just stop the problem(s), if those problems were to be taken care of/disappear, then no suicide. But ... there's a specific feeling in the back of your head that just ... happens. It's not like a switch, but it's not a slow burn either ... that feeling is best described as an opposite awakening ... a deadening. It's a very specific feeling when self-preservation is no longer part of the brain function. It's rather hard to describe but those that have had it know.
Ik ben de wereld, in mij is onstuitbaar de doodsbloem ontloken (Jotie T'Hooft) (I am the world, in me has unstoppable the deathflower emerged)
Load More Replies... Oh and come to think of it, the feeling of your milk coming in. So weird.
Load More Replies... Metastatic cancer. The effects of multiple treatments, medications and doctor visits. We all pass, but when your oncologist tells you that your time is limited - that hits the hardest.
My sister is in the early stages of this grief now. I hope you are doing ok, Phillster, and managing your disease well.
Load More Replies... I was pepper sprayed and HOLY S**T it's one of the worst pains ive ever experienced.
Try being tear-gassed. We had to experience this when I was in the police academy so we would know what it felt like if we had to use it. At least they tell you to not touch your eyes. You just run to the nearest shower and burn your clothes later, because tear gas is a solid, not a gas.
Load More Replies... Extreme tooth pain. There's nothing to do but curl up in the fetal position and cry.
Having a seizure. Most of the time, I have no that I'm going to have one (I have epilepsy & have had many seizures), but it's really terrifying when I do know. Even more so, waking up after a seizure is very disorienting and scary, especially if you're alone.
I have a different type of seizure. Takes place in the communication center of my brain. Can't speak (think stroke victim), can't read, etc. I can continue doing anything else ie doing dishes. Mini seizures feel like the world shifts for a second. Never really been able to explain it.
Load More Replies... Restless legs. I often find it described as pain, and I do often experience it with pain (as I also have fibromyalgia), but there is a distinct sensation that is decidedly different from, but as bad as pain, if not worse. And I know many forms of physical pain only too well (the English language uses that word too broadly, I find). The sensation of being unable to stop moving, when absolutely exhausted and in desperate need of sleep, is unbearable. And after many years it is no longer confined to my legs.
I have to explain it as pain but not pain at the same time. First time I really experienced it was on a 5 hour flight. I wanted to scream. Thankfully I know my triggers and can prevent it. I’m lucky that medication has helped as well.
Load More Replies... I have a few. Being neurotypical- I have no idea what it’s like. I don’t have any way of knowing what it feels like to have a neurotypical brain, and I’m guessing neurotypicals can’t understand my brain either. I wish we could step into others’ brains to feel what it’s like, but that’s impossible. Headrushes- it’s a weird headache mixed with vision going black mixed with phosphenes, and you’re super unsteady, but in a short bit it clears and you carry on like you didn’t just clutch the wall for fear of falling. Dislocations- you can describe it, but the “ooh this fell out of place” feeling is hard to fully get until it happens.
if you don't mind me asking, do you have EDS/has your doctor examined you for EDS? I ask because you basically described the story of my life. EDS (ehlers-danlos syndrome) loves walking hand in hand with autism, adhd, and a condition called POTS, which can cause that dizziness mixed with blacked out vision. EDS itself is a connective tissue disorder that can cause frequent dislocations, and I know I've had many times where I've grabbed my leg because it "fell out" or even stepped into my dislocated knee like it's a boot. don't mind this is you've already been diagnosed, but it's something you may want to do some research on and discuss with your doctor since it's rarely diagnosed
Load More Replies... Being told you have stage 4 cancer and you feel absolutely fine.
WHAT? That's terrible!!!! Is this recent? Have you beaten it, or been newly diagnosed? Whether you want to answer me or not, I pray you're OK, and that you're OK with me doing that; I mean it as an expression of empathy.
Load More Replies... I didn't see fainting on the list. I remember there was a time when other teens my age were trying to faint. I couldn't and still can't understand all these years later why they would want to feel that way. Everything starts fading out to black, but I can still hear, and then, it feels like I want to vomit, let go of my bladder and bowels and go to sleep all at the same time while also feeling overwhelming doom. Happens when i see someone is bleeding or talking about surgery or injuries. It's weird how your body reacts with "I don't like this. Let's just let go of waking life and go to sleep right here". Definitely hard to describe to someone that's never experienced it.
I have fainted twice in extreme heat. I really like cold weather and am comfortable when it's 20 degrees (F) outside walking around in a sweatshirt.
Load More Replies... Tinitus. I've got it pretty bad but my hearing is perfect. No one believes you and there's no treatments just idiots online trying to sell you garbage.
I have had tinnitus nonstop 24/7 for the past 8 years.
Load More Replies... Mine was taking a Percocet for pain, forgetting I had and taking a CDB/THC gummy shortly after. I saw tie-dyed unicorns dancing around the bed that I felt like I was floating above. It wasn't unpleasant, but I won't do that again!
I was given a Percocet for pain while in hospital years ago, and I went to sleep for 10 hours. Had horrible nightmares.
Load More Replies... Poop sweats. It’s a form of vasovagal syncope, which is a near-fainting sensation (or actual fainting) triggered by your vagus nerve reducing blood flow to the brain. In the case of poop sweats, it’s pressure on the vagus nerve from straining to defecate too hard or in the wrong way. It’s the most uncomfortable non-pain feeling I can recall ever having, and I was so relieved to find that it had a name and that there’s a way to cut it off when you start to feel it (bend down forward and put your head as close to between your knees as you can—this keeps blood from draining away from your brain).
EMTs get lots of calls for this when people find themselves on the floor.
Load More Replies... Who downvoted this? There's no attempt to compare how bad it is, or anything else. It's just a totally true fact that there is something very unique about the pain. I've had fractured bones (including a skull) and while I've probably suppressed the memory of the feeling too much to say which is worse, the difference in the nature of the pain is quite substantial.
Load More Replies... To add one in the good feeling column… Hitting a home run. The feeling of the bat connecting with the ball perfectly is just amazing.
Becoming fully blind after having normal vision. If you lose your sight slowly, your brain fills in the blank spots with what it thinks should be there. If you completely lose your sight suddenly, it doesn't get dark like you shut your eyes. It's just like blank. No light. No dark. No color. No orientation of your body. Nothing but blank.
I have severe vision loss, and some of my counselors have experienced just what you described. I am grateful for what I have.
Load More Replies... Lots of bad and tragic stuff in the comments but I'd like to add a good one. How much softer a cat is when they offer love, over just petting them. When my kitties come to me wanting love they are so much softer than if I just pet them on my way through the house.
Being in a large earthquake (over 7 on the richter scale) and not being able to get to your kids in the other room. A decade later, it is still a real fear and you still look around every building you go into, to find the safest exit point, or place to duck and cover with your family. Don't let them roam (as teenagers) without knowing where they are, when they are expected home and who they're with. Gnawing fear is overwhelming at times.
I was at work during the Loma Prieta quake in the San Francisco area in 1989. Truly scary.
Load More Replies... Endometriosis, the pain associated with it can be unbearable. It can't be seen on any type of scan, so there is no “proof" of anything wrong and women are told it's "just" a period and live with it. It doesn't just stay in one area either, it spreads and can cause scarring around internal organs. I had an understanding doctor and had surgery to remove what she could find, but it's impossible to get it all and it grows back until you reach menopause.
My mum and I both feel really guilty because, when my sister started getting her period, she was in a lot more pain than we ever experienced. We struggled so much to understand what she was feeling and made a few comments that we came to realise were insensitive, because we just didn't get it.
Load More Replies... Gary Sinise (as Lieutenant Dan Taylor) in Forrest Gump (1994): “I have a feeling that the shrimp are over this way.”
Anechoic chamber, is amazing not hearing anything but your own respiration for a couple minutes.
I think this can be achieved with earplugs, no? I hear myself breathe when going to sleep with them in
Load More Replies... Trying to explain synesthaesia to someone who has no idea what the heck you're talking about. Especially when you believe everyone has that way of reacting to sounds and numbers!
The adrenaline rush of a kayaking trip through tough rapids followed by the serene calm of the lunch break next to the river. The buzz at a live gig, a properly loud all encompassing gig, the volume overwhelming your senses (wear ear protection ok?) and it beating back your thoughts. The joy of seeing your child climb that first tree or swimming in the sea, seeing their freedom and enjoyment. Selling your first artwork, seeing your art on a strangers t-shirt. Waking up in a warm tent and making a brew in sight of stunning mountains or lakes. The feeling of safety in that tent when the rain is beating down on it and you KNOW you pitched it well.
The kayaking one is intense. I was paddling (I was a newbie) & being coached by ympic paddlers. They accidentally sent me down the wrong fork in the river while they went down the other fork - I ended up in rapids with foaming white water & just "paddled like crazy" & remembered my coach yelling "air brace no good" from an earlier paddle in some rapids. Realizing their error, the paddlers came looking for me & were pleasantly pleased I stayed in my white water kayak and made it through the rapids & white water unscathed. It was terrifying being alone but exhilarating & boy did my confidence get a boost. They really took me under their wing & taught me to roll, etc. I will remember it always.
Load More Replies... Being super empathetic is both a gift & a curse. It is difficult to try to convey how you can tell just by walking into a room "the mood of the room" & how you "feel" the emotions swirling- whether profound or nuanced. Throughout my life, I have had virtual strangers come sit by me & confide their sorrows. When there is celebration or sorrow, most often I feel exceptionally celebratory or grief-stricken to such degree that I am compelled to write - obituaries, remembrance, letters addressed to family, etc. Recollections of even the tiniest tidbits of conversations come to the forefront with clarity of detail to be written down for the bereaved. Too often I have known things that I had no way of knowing & when penned, grieving family & friends find great comfort in the writings & on occasion, a phrase written has been engraved on their tombstone, such as when a 22 yr old cousin died & included in my letter to his parents I wrote "He was sunshine & laughter, hard work & hard play."
I don't have your talent, but I frequently have strangers come up to me in stores and other places and tell me about their life. One woman, who had just lost her husband, started talking to me while I was buying eggs. We were there for about 45 minutes, while she unburdened her grief. I kept trying to find out if I could call someone for her, but she said her kids would be there the next day. So I let her talk until she felt ok. She was not suicidal or anything, or I would have called for an ambulance.
Load More Replies... A total solar eclipse. Those who've never seen or experienced being in the center of totality during a total eclipse will never understand the visual, audible & physical sensations.
I am old enough to have lived through and experienced two total solar eclipses. Amazing.
Load More Replies... Chronic back pain or a chronic pain disorder is one I didn't see. I have CRPS-complex regional pain syndrome and the only way I can describe a flare up is I feel like someone is pouring hot boiling oil onto my skin while thousands of ants are biting along with shards of glass cutting me all at the same time. It's so crippling that I cannot walk(it's in my spine but effects my legs) and there have been times to where I've literally army crawled to the bathroom. Chronic pain is on another level and with there no cure for CRPS and when flare ups get so bad I've had thoughts of unaliving myself just to relieve myself from the pain.
This one may be a bit dark but it happened to me: when you are dying and you stop fighintg and just give up. When I was a kid (7-8?) I almost died by drowning in the sea. The sea was very rough and we got caught by a big wave that rolled me underwater and made me lose the up/down direction. The current was pulling me to open sea where more powerful waves kept me rolling and twisting in the water. I was swimming desperately trying to find air until there was a point that my body just ...gave up and I just...let go. It was somehow liberating, peaceful in a strange way. All was becoming softly black and there was no pain. Then my brother found me, pulled me up from my hair (I felt sharp pain there) and screamed "what do you think you are doing?" This happened many decades ago. I never forgot that feeling and somehow made me to not fear death. It's hard to describe because you don't want to feel it again, but if you do, you know it will be ok? Has anyone felt the same?
Two feelings. The feeling of being about to fall off your horse and knowing that no matter what you do you're going down but also knowing if you don't throw yourself off you're going to end up under the horse. The knowledge that you're going to have to willingly take a hard impact with the hope of not being seriously injured and having to force yourself to do make it happen against every instinct to try and hold on and not fall. The feeling during a competition when you're about to jump a jump as tall as you are on a 1500+lb animal that has a mind of its own. The rush of adrenaline knowing that if anything goes wrong you're probably going to hit the ground hard enough to snap bone but being in perfect balance, with a perfect stride to the jump. Being able to feel the muscles bunching up as the animal youre riding jumps, and the ripple of muscles as he lands clear. The crowd clearing you on as you jump the only clear round on that course that day and know that you probably just won.
Wow! I have only been on a horse once, and just for a gentle ride. Your description was incredible! I hope you do some professional writing, as you have wonderful talent.
Load More Replies... I have to say this is the best, most fascinating article I've seen in BP so far. Thanks to all who shared and enlightened us just a little.
Getting Vertigo, even while watching a scene on tv or a movie, from the top of a building, It's an extreme feeling of falling, the pit of your stomach dropping, dizziness and an overwhelming feeling of being about to vomit.
I can empathize as I suffer from vertigo, and nausea that can strike at any time, and being allergic to Gravol, I travel at all times, with a prescription of Stemetil. It started during my first pregnancy almost 50 years ago and never ceased.
Load More Replies... I'll add gout and gall stones to the list. A bad gout attack is amazingly bad. Had one where my foot swelled to nearly double size, was bright red and the skin on it started to peel like a bad sunburn. All while it's impossible to do anything to relieve the pain in the joint. A light sheet touching it is intense, a breeze blowing on it is nearly as bad. Putting weight on it is unbearable. All you can do is give the d***s a week or two to get it under control. Thankfully once you know it's a problem you can take long term d***s to make sure you don't have further attacks, but the first one or two are hell. As for gall stones, I'll just say have you seen the movie Alien? The pain feels like the dinner scene where the chest burster pops out of John Hurts abdomen. All from something that's between the size of a grain of sand and a small marble.
I'm familiar with a lot of sensations that almost nobody else is ever going to understand. The sensation of doubled anatomy moving in tandem, experiencing doubled sensations from said anatomy, crippling pain during constipation that feels like I'm dying it's so intense... Though one thing I've experienced that I know others can (but hopefully never will) is falling unconscious without losing actual consciousness. It's like falling into a lucid dream that you can't break out of.
Being partially numbed for any procedure - still feeling everything that's happening, just without any pain. I was far too fascinated to be horrified by it, very interesting feeling.
This should be REALLY controversial: Glossolalia. Some charismatic groups would try to encourage "praying in tongues." with a bunch of nonsense syllables to see if something comes out. "Shamalalala." Once in a while, suddenly the syllables would get much more complex, and I'd be torn between whether the shamalama stuff was nonsense or maybe there was something to it. Then one day, in front of 1000s, something very different. Lots of people were doing the shamamlama stuff, but I resisted it a little. Suddenly, it was like these strange words were just being pulled from my chest through my mouth. At first, it was like observing a strange new phenomenon, and then I let go and all time and space just seemed to not exist anymore, and when I was done, I felt incredible peace and everyone was silent and staring at me. Several people claimed to interpret what I had said, and I think there were false prophets among them. But ever since then, when people deny the existence of God, I feel like Jodie Foster's character in Contact.
The irony of Contact is that I know Sagan was an atheist, and I read the book and I know the movie added this theme to it, but it's the most perfect expression of religious faith I've ever encountered... and the fact that I'm not some great Christian fills me with the same feeling of the Children of Narnia who knew Aslan existed, and struggled to do the right thing with that knowledge. But that sense of, (quoting Contact) "I was given something wonderful. Something that changed me. A vision of the universe that made it overwhelmingly clear just how tiny and insignificant -- and at the same time how rare and precious we all are. A vision... that tells us we belong to something greater than ourselves... that we're not -- that none of us -- is alone. I wish I could share it. I wish everyone, if only for a moment -- could feel that sense of awe, and humility... and hope. That continues to be my wish."
Load More Replies... Suffering from PTSD is something that can be described but not truly appreciated unless experienced. To be in the present while assaulted by visual or auditory hallucinations that would have you believe you are somewhere else in the thick of things yet again is so disorienting. Suffering flashbacks and nightmares several times a night - every night - is difficult for many to appreciate and empathize. My daughter-in-law is totally unsympathetic and mocks me for it.
Gender dysphoria. The absolute certainty that you are a different gender than the sex you were born as, and the absolute devastation of knowing your body does not match it. No therapy can change your mind. It's stuck constantly reminding you of ways your body doesn't fit right. And the relief of getting gender- affirming hormones and surgery. Of being in your body and it feeling like a home, not a prison. Having it feel and look like you always knew it should. Gender Euphoria. Feeling seen and affirmed as the gender you know yourself to be. Sometimes it's someone complimenting something about you that reflects your gender. Sometimes it's noticing your silhouette in the mirror being just the right curve. If you're not trans, you don't even realize how much about your gender you take for granted. You wonder why trans people are so obsessed with the concept. But as with any part of your body, you don't think much about it unless it's in pain, Or feeling especially good.
Wernickes encephalopathy and relearning how to do the most basic things again, like hold a spoon, sit up, and walk
Identity crisis. I got very sick with a chronic illness and had to quit my job, couldn't go to grad school, quit karate-quit my life. I went from being the manager, sparring champion, volunteer to being bed bound and in a wheelchair for a long time. I didn't know who I was anymore, but I'm still happy with who I became because I was forced to slow down.
this one's an awful one, but the feeling of being emotionally manipulated in a relationship. it's a sickening feeling of obsessive love because you just have to keep giving more and more for things to work while they keep demanding more and more out of you. even after you're free from it, you come to realize you're all alone because you didn't spend any of your time with anyone else and they've all left you behind too. and it takes forever to heal from it once you're in a new relationship because you just don't feel needed. it's really hard to explain, but if you know this feeling, you know it
the feeling of waking up with your legs dislocated at the knee! the feeling of rolling over in bed and the rest of your leg just doesn't come with you... actually, just dislocations in general are very indescribable. they're nauseating not because they hurt, but because you just instinctively know your limbs aren't supposed to be like that. I've nearly vomited before after dislocating fingers and twisting them to the side. I've popped my entire leg out of my hip socket. that snapping feeling of your jaw going back into place as you bite down on something, the crunching sound of a knee relocating. it's very fun living with EDS
I have gaps in my memory due to migraine. The pain makes you want to vomit but the actual vomiting or retching makes it hurt more.
The crippling frozen feeling right before a seizure, knowing there's no way to stop it and worrying it'll be the one that either kills or permanently cripples you.
On the lighter side, restless leg syndrome. I developed it 2 years ago after knee surgery. The absolute intensity of "I MUST move my leg or the world will implode." is insane.
as an aroace, someone confessing their love. The guilt caused by the feeling of disgust is terrible. I quite literally spiraled when he said he loved me. I would throw up thinking about it and physically hurt myself to distract myself from the fact I was confessed.
I've known two people who probably today would identify as aroace, but I admit being very ignorant of this, so please accept my apologies if I show any great ignorance, but throwing up and especially hurting yourself seem like a red flag for psychological trauma or something gone really wrong to me. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry, but maybe tell a professional about what happened... someone a little more knowledgeable than a random guy on the internet like me?
Load More Replies... Getting an IO IV drilled right into your shin while being very aware of it
