No matter how many times you go through what you've written, you can still miss the mistakes you've made. Whether there are cracks in your understanding of the language, or your eyes are simply playing a trick on you, they might find a way to slip into the final draft.
The subreddit r/IhadAstroke is a perfect example of how even minor errors can turn simple phrases into confusing or hilarious gibberish. As the name suggests, the stuff that gets featured here is so bad that there must have been something seriously wrong with the author while they were typing!
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I Found This On Pintrest 💀
My Brother, Ladies And Gentlemen
According to the sister and brother duo Kathy Petras and Ross Petras, who co-authored the book 'You're Saying It Wrong: A Pronunciation Guide to the 150 Most Commonly Mispronounced Words and Their Tangled Histories of Misuse,' 11 of the most common grammar mistakes the word experts hear are:
- apostrophes (Wrong: We need to get our sale’s numbers up. Right: We need to get our sales numbers up.)
- Everyday/every day (Wrong: He starts work everyday at 8 a.m. Right: He starts work every day at 8 a.m.)
- I/me (Wrong: The marketing manager told Riley and I to talk with her. Right: The marketing manager told Riley and me to talk with her.)
- its/it's (Wrong: The company just celebrated it’s eighth year since it went public. Right: The company just celebrated its eighth year since it went public.)
- less/fewer (Wrong: Less than 50 people showed up for the presentation. Right: Fewer than 50 people showed up for the presentation.)
- lie/lay (Wrong: I could just lay down and go to sleep. Right: I could just lie down and go to sleep.)
- lose/loose (Wrong: If we stay on this track, we can’t loose. Right: If we stay on this track, we can’t lose.)
- that/who (Wrong: The people that reach their sales target will get a reward. Right: The people who reach their sales target will get a reward.)
- then/than (Wrong: That presentation was better then the first one. Right: That presentation was better than the first one.)
- there/their/they're (Wrong: There going to they’re office over their. Right: They’re going to their office over there.)
- your/you’re (Wrong: Your my favorite supervisor. Right: You’re my favorite supervisor.)
Dieing I Brearhn't
From now on I'll refer to my insomnia as sleepn't. There's a US Prez candidate now who is skilled at thinkn't.
Well you got me. I thought it was an eye problem at first. Thought they were trying to say astigmatism
He Day
Par for the course when a Chinese company has a guy who claims to speak English do the translating.
I Custom Ordered This Legend Of A Shirt And I Couldn’t Be Happier
I briefly considered the possibility that it was an actual colonial spelling at some point (although the "MS" at he beginning is a major stretch), but it appears to originate as an actual misspelling on a shirt in a shop in Asia about 10 years ago. After being posted to Tumblr the internet did what it does best and gave it a life it never deserved. untitled-6...612512.jpg
To be fair, Msaeachubaets had only been a state for about 4 months when we had 11 states. Folks may not have been used to spelling it back then. /J "The United States had 11 states when New York ratified the US Constitution on July 26, 1788, making it the 11th state to join the union." (Massachusetts ratified in February the same year)
I noticed the shirt itself seems to have a red, white and green stripe. It looked like the flag of a different country to me. Had to Google it, but sure enough it's basically the Hungarian flag with the US flag in the middle.
But your reaction to these picture can tell you something about your own nature, too. Linguistics experts from the University of Michigan found that extroverted people are likely to overlook typos and grammatical errors that would cause introverted people to judge the person who makes such errors more negatively.
The researchers invited 83 participants and asked them all to read email responses to an ad for a housemate, which either contained no errors or had been altered to include typos (e.g. "teh" instead of "the") or grammatical mix-ups, such as too/to or it's/its.
Yeah So I Have An Entire Album In My Phone Dedicated To My Mum’s Terrible Texting
this looks like a text convo between myself and my mom lol aggressive requests and snarky replies and all
Load More Replies...I built a chat bot at my last job. All it did was allow our business analysts to request on the fly reports in plain text. They could say "Hey, can you show me how much money we moved from account A to account B", stuff like that. But I included a little Easter-Egg. If you just typed "meow", it would draw you a picture of a cat as ASCII art. This reminded me of that.
Reading a bit between the lines? Maybe the mum is bedridden with an illness which is why she needs a hot water bottle and has to text? Man! I once had to sign a consent form in hospital but had a major pain spasm which jolted my body and my signature started off okay but then suddenly went downwards and then off to the right of the paper! And you don't even want to see the state of some of the occasional texts I had to send! 😄
My Dad Did This To Me A While Ago Lmao
this just reminds me of the most recent Dr Who series and the line "DO YOU DREAM ABOUT BEING AN AMBUULANCE?" which when taken out of context, is hilarious.
Cant Are Gona Do?
Brain ran faster than keyboard skill I think.
Load More Replies...I’M GONNA CALL THE AND THEN GO COP FIRST AND THEN CALL HATERS THAT CAN BUT CAN’T
Honestly Read This For The 5th Time And It Still Don't Make Sense LOL
Translation (before I forget): Let the cat in where it's warm.
Load More Replies...Those 83 people then judged the person who'd written the email based on their perceived intelligence, friendliness, and other attributes, such as how good they would be as housemates.
At the end of the experiment, they were also asked whether or not they'd spotted any grammatical errors or typos in the emails, and, if so, how much it had bothered them.
Burger Kink LOL
Reminds my of a text picture where someone texted "what are you doing rn" and the other guy was like "procreating" "I MEANT PROCRASTINATING" "PROCREATING" "no" "PROCREATING"
Mothor Is Srtoking
So do you think the misspelling in the title was accidental, or deliberate? Ironic either way.
I Know How To Say This Correctly I Just Don’t Want To
When I was a kid, a common phrase was "Stop the world. I want to get off."
Load More Replies...The researchers then asked the participants to complete a Big Five personality assessment, which determines where they are on a scale of openness, agreeableness, extraversion/introversion, neuroticism, and conscientiousness, as well as answer additional questions about their age, background, and attitude towards language.
My Aunt Texted Me... So Confused
I have a literature degree and a journalism degree and I have no idea what they're saying. Are you a wizard?
Load More Replies...Satan Is Pretty Close I Guess
In the meantime, all sorts of demons and pagan deities are being summoned by accident.
Understandable confusion. Both dress up in red, both enter your house unobserved, and both know who's been naughty and who's been nice.
Where Do Babies Come From?
This situation is rare but has been documented. Internet tells me it is called heteropaternal superfecundation. (say it repeatedly, fast - lol). But now I'm picturing a weird mash up of Highlander and Mortal Kombat. "There can be only one!" "Finish him!"
Babies having a mortal combat style fight in the womb sounds like a sketch from Robot Chicken.
My brain makes lots of "robot chicken" skits in my head. Usually unbidden. So sometimes it makes me laugh at very inappropriate times. Same for remembering their skits. Sometimes something serious makes me remember a robot chicken skit on the same subject and then I'm trying not to laugh at the image in my head.
Load More Replies...Found This In A Youtube Video. Thought It Would Fit Here
It actually makes perfect sense. Each sentence is replacing a word in the sentence above it with a new word.
Overall, everybody rated the fictional housemate applicants with typos and grammatical errors in their emails as worse than those with perfect spelling, but certain personality types judged the typo-riddled applicants harsher than others.
For instance, extroverts were generally much more likely to overlook their mistakes, whereas introverts were more likely to judge the applicants negatively because of them.
To Be Fair English Is Not Their First Language
I still haven't got beyond the first sentence. Maybe they're a time traveller?
Recently, there was a day I didn't have any liquid to drink. I believe it was last Thirstday.
Never mind the spelling/grammar and wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey... that sh*t'll land you in the hospital. Surely they must have drunk other things that contained water. Anyway coming from somebody who has been dehydrated and spent nearly 3 weeks with non-functioning kidneys, DON'T MESS WITH DEHYDRATION.
Shongles
A typo, on an article about typos. Typeceptoin
Load More Replies...Shongles would make a good name for a cat.
Load More Replies...If that were in my hometown during my high school days everyone would've said, "looks like Bob was out past curfew again."
I can picture someone putting those letters up one by one. Slow motion dyslexia.
i hate that digital signs have taken this away from our 'innocent fun' catalog of things to do when bored...
i hate that digital signs have taken away this somewhat innocent joy--never fails to make me lol
Indeed
Cool cool cool cool....is it just me or...cause I have no idea what this is supposed to be lol
Until someone said "warframe" is a game, I still had no idea wtf this was saying. Just knowing that, it's a lot easier to get by the grammar and infer what's being asked.
She says on a Lithuanian website. Have you considered that they’re not a native English speaker, but unlike most native English speakers they’re making an attempt to learn??
Load More Replies...Found On R/Me_irl
I don't know why these are so funny to me, I guess I have an awful sense of humour 😭🤣🤣🤣
People who tested as being more conscientious but less open were more sensitive to typos, while those with less agreeable personalities got more upset by grammatical errors.
"Perhaps because less agreeable people are less tolerant of deviations from convention," the research team said.
Girls Is Can The Therefore Change Is World Brave
I've seen this one over 7,000 tines and still can't make any sense of it
Girls can change the world, girls therefore is brave is what it is supposed to say. It's still wrong, but that was the intent ... I think.
Load More Replies...In some places, nonsensical English words are in vogue. Sort of like how so many white dudes get Kanji tattoos even though they have no idea what they say.
I've always wanted to get a Kanji tattoo that says "Cheese Wombat Toilet Brush" just to mess with people who actually speak Japanese.
Load More Replies..."Girls can the change world" + "Is therefore is brave" = "Girls is can the therefore change is world brave"
The intended message may have been "girls are brave; therefore, they can change the world".
I think it’s maybe meant to say Girls Are* (not is) Brave (in the wrong spot ) and (missing) can therefore change the world”? 🤷🏼♀️
You go girl, as in put this shirt back down it makes no sense I'm confused.
If Anyone Knows What This Says Pls Say It
Well, there IS a pattern of sorts, but no matter which order I read it I still can't decide what they wanted to convey.
What bothers me is that there's the word "am" but no "I" so unless it means ante meridian, there's no way to construct a proper sentence with that included
Load More Replies...Silly goose! It says, "We are trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty." :) Easy peasy, lime kite! ;)
Strikes me as a list of sight words or spelling words for junior kids in a school.
Possibly, but why repeat some of the words?? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Load More Replies...This is a code the CIA left in plain sight, just to see if anybody would ever be able to crack it.
The second picture is an interpretive dance of everyone's confusion.
On the middle left, reading up, it says " go for help.“. Maybe that's the hidden message in the rest of it.
See. Come. Want. See. Want. Come. My. Where. Good. My. Good. Where. Etc. 🤷🏻♀️
According to the Reddit replies on this post, they are "sight words". The idea being that you put very common/useful words in places where young children will see them a lot, and they will learn those words more quickly when learning to read. Sounds like it's a bit controversial but this is almost certainly what this is.
I'm Eating Babies
My first thought was this one is contrived. But then I remembered a time I was sending a text and autofill tried to say "babies" for something totally inappropriate. I was eating them or doing something bad to them. I forget the text it was something like, "I'm going to cook some (BBQ) and autofill tried to fill in babies. Something that took an innocent text and made it dark as heck. I didn't send it that way but I was kind of appalled that was the first suggestion it gave me.
He's either reading babies and eating nachos or eating babies and reading nachos lol
Interestingly, how neurotic someone didn't really affect how they interpreted mistakes.
Yes, the sample size wasn't the biggest and we need to take the results with a grain of salt. However, the results couldn't be explained by people's age or education, which suggests that personality traits were actually playing a role.
And if you want to continue playing the grammar police officer, fire up our first publication on r/IhadAstroke! It also has plenty of inexcusable crimes.
Is That A Warning ?
Save some durm sticks for Audi and me, please.
Load More Replies...A takeaway near me described one of their curries as being in a "cococunt sauce" on their menu
I have epilepsy and in college one of my friends swore I got pizza at "Little Seizures."
I Managed To Google These Things While I Was High. 😭
How to get a cat to lick the blue check mark of a nood squirrels left testicle. Maio.
My Amazon Customer Support
It is indeed hoift, that's my problem. Is it because I interdicted the concert goer?
I was on chat w/Cafe Press for a total of 3.5 hours the other day, trying to get an order straightened out. At one point, the guide? helper? chatter? whatever - just walked away. Just, left the chat. left me hanging. 15 minutes later a new person came, hi, how can I help you today? Like I hadn't already been trying for 3 hours to get this order fixed. So random.
I'm sorry to tell you that it was actually because you windowed the hoift with an interdiction AS a concert goer. If you had interdicted the window hoift BEFORE you attended a concert the issue you faced would not have arisen. Hope this helps
Our Local Gym Motivational Quote
Don't stop when you are tired. Stop when you are done. At first I thought maybe these were quarter panel vinyl tiles that were assembled in the wrong order, but based on the various font sizes, there would be no way to arrive at the correct phrase .
It could have been "don't stop when you're done, stop when you are tired" - gentler to lazy butts like me :D
Load More Replies...Honestly, I'm guessing it's intended to be a set of decals that you cut out, arrange properly, and stick to the wall (the smaller version of the quote is the clue) and the pieces are arranged to be efficient on the print. Then someone just peeled the whole thing off the backing and stuck it to the wall.
They're not only working out your body muscles but also your eyeball and mind muscles too! 💪💪💪
“Hey, Want Some Drugs?” “P I Z Z A” “Will You Marry Me?” “Omg Yes!” “No!!!!!!”
When BP censorship momentarily falters and I see a word that is going to burn out my retinas and make me go to the dark side.
Which dark side though? Are you going to be tempted by d***s or d***s?
Load More Replies...The Iffle Tower
I mean, they’re not wrong… Eiffel did design the internal structure of the Statue of Liberty.
To be fair, the Statue of Liberty is America's Eiffel Tower. Gustave Eiffel designed the inner framework underneath the statue's copper skin.
A Very Lucky Fortune
I love "No problem leaves you where you found it" 😂 Is that an English saying I just haven't come across till today, a motivational motto, or some obscure translation?
My Mother At 2 In The Morning
I think she might have had her emoji screen open and was typing like they were a keyboard of letters.
Load More Replies...that looks like stuff my grandkids send me (minus the poop emoji, of course)
I'm actually kind of impressed that she used the Kaaba emoji in all of that.
We Take For Open Are Out
Would You Like To Try That Again, Bud?
Would assume Chipotle has such a screwed up management system, they hire recently arrived immigrants as no one else will work for them.
Not Sure What They Were Trying To Do Here
My wife is a terrible cook, but I don't think even she could break soup.
Eee
I mean, to be fair, that's the sound I make when I'm forced to do math. I'm REALLY bad at it XD
And how would you even explain how you got your answer? “Um, because that’s what 7 times 3 is”?
well I mean you could go into depth on the structure of math and the internal self consistency and whatever the hell else mathematician-philosopher-logicians (it's kinda in all three fields) are doing, but...y'know. "I took 7 and added 7 and then added 7 again"?
Load More Replies...Seems a tad of a long winded way to get there, but if it works for ya, then proceed, my good fellow.
But what would the actual explanation be? This is just a table one learns by heart at elementary school, there is no "logic deduction" to get to 21.
Math is taught differently now in many places
Load More Replies...A Congressional Candidate Has A Stroke On Twitter
How did the guy who was run over by a f*****g SNOW PLOW type more coherently than the person replying to him? Also, reminder that Hawkeye is the strongest Avenger.
"Gosh darn it Keith Kuder! I'M the one who is on strong painkillers at the moment!!! Stop trying to steal my thunder!!!"
Turn him off and turn him back on again. It’s the only way
Load More Replies...that man has an insane talent for reading gibberish
Load More Replies...If I were in the ICU, even dying, and a bunch of idiots came to pester me and took photos, I would summon all my strength to kick them out of the room forever, and I'd disown any member of my family that took part in that nonsense.
That's Jeremy fúcking Renner. He wrote this himself and he's obviously fine with it. Your personal preferences are irrelevant.
Load More Replies...Supre Bol\
I'd blame the fact that the Superbowl is a highly copyrighted name but is this from the actual NFL account?
I ‘Member
Words can't express the nostalgia, no really we don't need the words to remember
Try To Read It
I mean, going from left to right it makes sense, but the fact it's split into seperate booths is stupid 🤦🏻♀️
They will forget what you say and forget what you did. they will never forget how you made them feel
Management always think that if something makes sense from where they're standing, that's all that matters.
forget and did forget them. i can picture this being said by mr miyagi
"They you what will you will say you never made forget and did forget them what forget they how feel." 😔
My Local Pub. The Stroke Is Strong With This One
I'm guessing one of the locals at the pub got hold of snow spray paint just after midnight on that New Years Eve!!! So long as it can be washed off?
Somebody’s had a few too many drinkipoos. Remember kiddies, don’t drink and graffiti
KFC
Indeed. Those are the directions to the new KFC in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Load More Replies...This may be a substitution code for the Colonel's secret recipe.
Ummmm. Maybe some chickens were warning other chickens to stay away from the Colonel
When Is He Getting Therapy? Also Not Sure If Its Allowed Of That " 𝐵𝒜𝐿𝐿 " Part
So we never truly escape living in some guy's balls? That's depressing.
Oddly the math for a donut planet does math. It is theoretically possible, if it's spinning fast enough.
Trans Trans Are Trans Trans
I mean... if you really think about it on the recesses of your mind it kind of males sense in a blurred way
Transitioned trans people are transitioned trans. But if a trans (already transitioned) transitions, they are no longer trans. Think female to male is now male from female. But if a female to male who already transitioned transitions, then they’re female to male to female, therefore no longer trans? Idk 🤷🏼♀️ lol just guessing
I feel like it has something to do with how buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.
Foot Cralp
Frankly, the only thing worse than getting foot cralp is when you wone up eith it, cos you have no time to prepare for it then. No wonder the poor bloke is dyibt. Hope you're better now.
What?
We Love Women
I sometimes see liberty caps on my property. How do I tell which ones are lesbians?
The ones with the colors of the lesbian flags are generally the lesbians. Although it's a bit complicated with fungi since they have hundreds of sexes
Load More Replies...I Think My Friend Might Have Gone Through A Stroke
Can’t Tell If He Tried To Say “Ur Mum” Or “Them”
(EDIT: Okay, probably real, or at least very similar ones are. I learned there are several breeds called Holsteins so perhaps this is a different black and white than what we raised. Rear legs and leg length don't look natural to me but it may be the breed. "hearts" markings show up way more on social posts than they do IRL. ) That photo is shopped. Or possibly a weird breed? It looks like a young Holstein Friesian. We used to raise Holsteins and they have short hair and don't have "cankles" so the legs (especially the rear ones) won't look like that even if you shampoo them.
https://www.iowafarmbureau.com/Article/Iowas-fluffy-cows-go-viral-on-social-media check this out!! 😊
Load More Replies...Nope, not photoshop: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/06/17/iowa-fluffy-cows/2433179/
Marie, after more research I agree it may be natural. I still suspect this particular image but there are other very similar ones that are real. I updated my post.
Load More Replies...Ctrl + C, Ctrl + V
Well that ses like a sound enough, straight forward explanation to me, what is your issue?
??????
Wieners, fart jokes, and butts are pretty much the height of humor for teenagers (and those of us with Chronic Incurable Teenager Humor Syndrome), so I'm not surprised.
Load More Replies...I mean, an unsolicited Richard pic can make you lose the ability to form rational thoughts
Mabe
Water Sure
I Love Christmas Hand Grenades!
They are seeing guns and grenaids in the advert calender and they have a sun! ☀️ . Inapropiate indeed! Lol my phone was trying to correct me!!!
Load More Replies...I had no problem reading that. Please shoot me now. Also, not guns and hand grenades. That's an upside down ice skate and a cat's butt-hole. /J
We are the only species with butts good enough to be ornaments.
Load More Replies...Shockingly I understood that. I guess I’ve skates can be used as weapons but they definitely can’t shoot anything
No, that is very clearly a .50 Caliber Desert Eagle with a Leupold 2x20 scope.
Yep, and you can clearly make out the extended 15 round magazine, and enhanced grip. That's most definitely an ornament on the right though.
Load More Replies...This kind of reminds of the old joke about the blonde who threw away all of her M&M's because they had been misprinted with W's.
Coaster
I would hate to be the dude behind them collecting Jenga bricks with my face
The What
The look she's giving in the second picture basically describes the sentence
Would Were You?
Fairly blind without my glasses, but too lazy to keep them on at home, because I can't read with them so I'd take them off, squint at the toilet and probably could keep the floor from tripping me
Load More Replies...The What Now?
Wha
I thought this was the universal symbol for female toilets?
Load More Replies...I wish, lol. The first character means "woman" the 3 others mean "bathroom". There is even the symbol next to it. How did they get that so wrong lol
Load More Replies...Aww, iz you mad? Iz you angwy that he signed a bill to allow girls to get free feminine hygiene products in school? Izzoo just soooooooo angy that he allowed women to have autonomy over their own bodies and legally get abortions? Iz you just soooo angy that he signed a bill that provides free breakfast and lunch to schoolchildren? Aw, you poor thing, you must be so upset. There, there. Oh, by the way, his last name is spelled "Walz", not "Waltz". Try and get it right if you're going to be an ignorant haddock vomiting out word-feces, okay?
Load More Replies...The Name Says It All
Friend Has A Stroke
Uhm
"stronk" is old internet slang. Look up "bondulance" if you're less chronically online than me
Bonds name. James Name. Bonds name the james.
Load More Replies...Was Rewatching Some Old Youtube Videos And Found A Comment I Made Several Years Back
How Is It 7:30am
Cleverbot Not So Clever
It Didn’t Start That Bad Until…
Wrong Person
I hate this picture. The kitten didn't do that. Some a$$hole shoved its face in the food.
Yuotueb Hadh Aa Stroek
The Not You Know
The not you know is better than the not you not know.
Load More Replies...Avocado
"will pursue in the future". Looks like a Danish person stopped looking at the keyboard midway through.
Homeohphobick
I laughed a lot at those! I get many massages from one friend where I always have to spend time deciphering what they meant! It makes me laugh every time!
Pretty sure I had a stork, or maybe a seizer while readin these. Ah, ithink it was broth at the saem tiiiime.
I laughed a lot at those! I get many massages from one friend where I always have to spend time deciphering what they meant! It makes me laugh every time!
Pretty sure I had a stork, or maybe a seizer while readin these. Ah, ithink it was broth at the saem tiiiime.
