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For the modern person, always in need of constant stimulation and validation, the good old private diary is no longer enough. Every questionable, chaotic, and unhinged personal thought can be quickly pushed onto the unsuspecting public, regardless of how they feel about it.

So here is a collection of posts from X (formerly tweets from Twitter) that showcase all the funniest personal thoughts people perhaps should have kept to themselves. Get comfortable before you scroll through and be sure to upvote your favorites. And if you are feeling inspired, share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments section below. 

#1

God Has Protected Me

God Has Protected Me

zzill6 Report

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I'M A SHOUTY MAN (they/she/he)
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amen brother! It's like a meme I've seen a few times. God will give us all we need, but don't expect it to come to you like a special object in a video game, hovering above the table with a ring of light around it. When-the-H...50aac1.jpg When-the-Holy-Spirit-has-given-you-everything-651d26d50aac1.jpg

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#3

Why Stop There?

Why Stop There?

DaFunkJunkie Report

#4

Fake Number

Fake Number

DaFunkJunkie Report

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François Bouzigues
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be honest, the first one is a good advice. And knowing someone is giving you a wrong number instead of guessing should lead you to : a)abandon further interaction with said person b)investigate what you did to make her feel that way and try to be a better / more interesting / less creepy person.

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#5

Some People Change

Some People Change

MattVekakis Report

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Jeremy James
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Southern Baptist MIL has gone from pretending that I don't exist, (even to my face,) to occasionally asking about me and referring to me as, "that guy you live with." It's honestly a step in the right direction and it only took 20 years.

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Tracy Wallick
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom was initially on the fence about LGBTQ+ rights. She changed her mind when I told her that I supported them, because if I had a child, I wouldn't care what gender their partner was as long as they were happy. Good thing too, since my sister later realized she was gay.

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Marno C.
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dad realized the benefit of a gay son is that he might get an even better son-in-law.

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Maria Maria
Community Member
7 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Love this so much. So much nastiness going on right now they l almost teared up a bit from hearing something that is just good.

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Michael Largey
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, that hellfire he's threatening isn't very effective if you're drenched.

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Deery Lou
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

aww that's so sweet, i'm glad your father has changed for the better :)

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cyclonick295
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of my closest friends recently told her parents, who are very conservative in their beliefs, that I was gay. I've known the entire family since I was a child but never felt the need to tell them. It made me so happy when they let me know they still love me want me to be happy 😊

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Rae Ramirez
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People can change their ideas about things and it is awesome!!

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Donald
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad he learned some more from the Bible like, "Love thy neighbor. Do onto others ect."

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Blondie23
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Personally... there is something really powerful in a person willing to grow and change and update their opinions on things. Being able to change is truly under rated!!!

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Louby Of Morrowind
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Happy ending. I read the first bit and was once again disappointed in humans, then in the second half...faith restored

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maka paka
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and this is the biggest issue some people have these days. Cancel culture is called because we don't allow people to grow, learn and be better people. Whilst some of it is justified a lot of it is also. They said this so many years ago, get rid of them

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Chez2202
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your dad is a legend. It’s hard for people to change their beliefs, especially where religion is involved, and for him to change this much shows that not only does he love you more than you could have imagined 10 years ago but he also respects you and loves your partner. You couldn’t ask for a better dad.

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Jeannie Miller
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No change. He just loves you more than he loves a fictional god

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Snake Queen
Community Member
7 months ago

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#7

Dead Malls

Dead Malls

ExpertAccident Report

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ThatCapybara
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’ve ALWAYS thought this! Make this happen 100%, it can work with other abandoned buildings too

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#9

"It Just Wont Work" It Actually Does

"It Just Wont Work" It Actually Does

Maxonsdad Report

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Solidhog
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To be fair, the UK is holding on by it's fingertips at the moment and it's really only the doctors and fantastic nurses in the hospitals holding it together at the moment.

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#10

This Dad Has One Great Son

This Dad Has One Great Son

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#11

Wow. Medical Debt Causes Divorce For Married Couple Of 52 Years

Wow. Medical Debt Causes Divorce For Married Couple Of 52 Years

TruthToPower77 Report

#12

Basics Of Billionaires …

Basics Of Billionaires …

itsJeffTiedrich Report

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Marno C.
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shhhhh,,,,,, Let the billionaires blast themselves into space. While they're gone, it's a great chance to unionize.

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#13

Management

Management

mattwallaert Report

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rullyman
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should be giving everyone on the team a raise equivalent to the managers salary divided amongst them

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#14

There Is No Such A Thing As Teacher Shortage

There Is No Such A Thing As Teacher Shortage

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Marno C.
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Plus, getting shots at the bar is a lot better than at the school.

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#15

No Narcs

No Narcs

TheDrewRap Report

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Dekker451
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Disturbing costumers"? So they were disturbing people whose job it is to maintain and dress actors in the wardrobe of a movie, TV show or play?

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#16

I Wholeheartedly Approve

I Wholeheartedly Approve

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Marno C.
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! Especially if he leads the way and takes his bestest, mostest friends with him. We'll give him.... uh... a special trophy or NFT of a trophy or something to memorialize his special leadership.

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#17

Why Are It Guys Such D**ks?

Why Are It Guys Such D**ks?

Bigringcycling Report

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Dekker451
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So much this. Usually, when someone says the IT guy is "being a d**k" what that really means is they're asking basic questions to cover all the bases because they've been thru that kind of sh1t before, but the person being asked decided to take it as an insult to their intelligence.

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#18

Burn It All Down….m4a Now

Burn It All Down….m4a Now

orchid_breeder Report

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Edward Finger Hands
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had an emergency surgery this year. I pay almost $500 a month for my insurance. It still cost me nearly $10,000. With insurance!! Without insurance, the surgery was almost 125k. Absolutely outrageous.

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#19

People Are Morons

People Are Morons

adamhillscomedy Report

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Phoebe
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well you know they’d low-key be arrested but oh well maybe they was makin a cuppa

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#22

I’d Like To See It

I’d Like To See It

MessyGuy01 Report

#23

This Tweet Is So Accurate

This Tweet Is So Accurate

Tarshorri Report

#24

Do Taxes Have To Be This Complicated?

Do Taxes Have To Be This Complicated?

dilettantedebrah Report

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Kristy Marion
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t get the US system. Is it not taken out weekly for salaried employees? Are there not tax brackets?

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#27

Let’s Tell The Whole Truth

Let’s Tell The Whole Truth

reddit.com Report

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Libstak
Community Member
7 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently our major supermarkets staff are having a strike this coming weekend and Friday. Record inflation after record profits and no pay raises for the workers expected along with their customers to survive paying even more for groceries after a record profits year. Good for the workers, strike away, I'm joining them by only buying at local markets and small family owned grocers for the duration and maybe if the big supermarkets do the right thing, maybe, I'll come back for the sake of my fellow working class battlers.

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#28

Lol 🤣

Lol 🤣

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Dekker451
Community Member
7 months ago

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#30

But I'll Still Tell Him

But I'll Still Tell Him

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Marno C.
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God bless Tyler. He's doing his best and probably texting his girlfriend the whole time, too.

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#31

Beware

Beware

Bossloper Report

#32

Literally No One

Literally No One

ajfoucault Report

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Susie Elle
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember people saying they felt like the Jewish people during WWII and if this isn't the peak of being privilidged then I don't know what is (i.e. when you have it so good that oblidgated to uphold medical advice makes you feel oppressed like a people being eradicated during a world war).

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#34

One Of The Evils Of Capitalism Involves Punishing People For Helping Others Or Showing Charity

One Of The Evils Of Capitalism Involves Punishing People For Helping Others Or Showing Charity

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#35

Things Have Changed

Things Have Changed

JacobAShell Report

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The Scout
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, yes, the middle class life... A German politician in the not so distant past described himself as "middle class" while owning a private plane and making 1.5 millon a year. So it comes down to a matter of definition.

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#36

Oooooffff

Oooooffff

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Dekker451
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the same guy who thinks he knows enough about programming to micromanage the people who are trying to develop self-driving technology for him.

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#37

Ancient Greece Wasn't Gay

Ancient Greece Wasn't Gay

Appointment-Funny Report

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Tams21
Community Member
7 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what happens when you're so uneducated, you don't realise how uneducated you are ☹️

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