We’ve all heard the classic excuses—“I’m sick,” “my car broke down”—but sometimes people get wildly creative when they want to skip work. From the ridiculous to the downright unbelievable, some call-off stories are too good not to share.
So, I asked the Bored Panda community: what’s the funniest, strangest, or most outrageous reason you’ve ever heard someone give for missing a shift? These stories might just make you question what’s possible… or how inventive people can get when they don’t want to show up.
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My dad once told his boss he needed a replacement car because his vehicle had first been kicked by a giraffe and then damaged by a charging rhino in northern Germany. Even more absurd, it was actually true.
Security was kind of lax in safari parks in the ’80s...
Me! I worked at a university/med school campus—not in a city, but its own place. There was no public transportation from my town to it, so I had to drive every day—a 30-mile, one-way commute. Parking was tight. Very tight. One morning I got to work, drove around for 30 minutes looking for a parking spot, and couldn’t find one. I called my boss: “Hey, bossman, I can’t find a parking space. I’ve been here a half hour driving around. I’m going home.” He said, “See you tomorrow, have a nice day!” So I went home and had a lovely day.
I worked at an auto parts supplier in Michigan. One guy called his boss and said he couldn’t get out of his driveway after a snowstorm. We laughed so hard when the boss told us this—because the guy lived right across the street. The boss was not amused.
I used to work from home before I retired. My boss was a friendly guy and joked with all of the staff. I called one day after a big snowstorm and told boss I was calling in. He didn't get the joke. ☹️
Drove 150 miles home in a snowstorm to be told that the supermarket was short of staff because they couldn't drive into work, was not happy.
I had to walk waist deep in snow to work about 15 years ago. I was the District Manager for our local newspaper and no one could make it in. Gotta get the news out. I think I made 12.00 an hour to oversee all the carriers and do payroll and keep the routes updated so carriers weren't backtracking. I think I had to walk 6 blocks. That night I had the negatives imprinted on the plates, the presses all full of paper and ink, and when a helper came in we printed. Some carriers finally made it in but as District manager if a carrier didn't come in I had to do it. So all night every night delivering because someone always called in. Then office all day. Hated it. I hope this makes sense. I just got back from the dispensary :)
If you literally live across the street, you can walk to work
Load More Replies...If you live in Michigan, and you can't get out of your driveway after it snows, move south and stop embarrassing the North.
If I could figure out how to attach a photo I'd be VERY happy to illustrate just how much snow we get here in West Michigan. The lake effect snow off Lake Michigan is not a joke. I get drifted snow in excess of 18" on my driveway several times a season, my deck has been under 24" of snow several times in the last 7-8 years.
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I was unlocked inside my house. I live in an older apartment complex, and my building is doing some slight settling. My front door has a habit of sticking and not fitting right. As I was leaving for work one morning, the door wouldn't latch, and the deadbolt wouldn't work either. I had to call out and wait for maintenance to come and fix my door, because I wasn't going to leave my place unsecured.
A lady on her way to an interview with me called after she wrecked her car. And I mean right after the wreck—even before calling 911. She was crying and freaking out. Pretty sure she was in shock and not thinking logically. I first made sure she was okay, then quickly told her it was fine, we’d reschedule, and that she needed to hang up and call 911 instead.
That made it feel even worse after she was able to interview with us—and she was totally unqualified for the job she’d applied for…
I have three from the same coworker:
1. She stepped on a rake that flipped up and hit her in the head, giving her a concussion and causing her to miss several days of work.
2. She was boiling water for spaghetti and splashed it on her bôôbs, causing such severe burns that she couldn’t work for days.
3. A family of skunks moved into her house, and when she tried to get rid of them, they all sprayed so much that it permeated her entire house and all her clothes. She couldn’t come to work until the skunks were gone and the smell had dissipated—several days off, of course.
Oh wait, I forgot one: she called in sick one Monday after bragging about going parasailing all weekend. This woman was a real trip!
Unrelated, but a skunk family moved into our garage when I was about 7 months pregnant. After vomiting for a while, I called animal control and was told "We don't do skunks on Tuesdays."
Re the rake. I worked in a tree nursery run by a martial artist. "UncleBob" had advanced black belts in jujutsu (correct action in the moment without thought) and two fast striking and blocking arts. Bob could not block a rake handle rising towards his face. If he couldn't do it with those skills, I had no chance, so I learned to put the rake tines down every time.
A colleague rang the office and said she didn’t have the “feels” for work today. WTF?!
That's a documented medical condition, known as rectal glaucoma. The primary symptom is that you just can't see your a*s coming to work.
Best description of a social medical condition EVER! 😆😆😆🤣🤣🤣😆😆😆
Load More Replies...I must have done this on quite a few occasions in my working years, but never actually phrased it that way. In Europe it's normal that you can just say you're not feeling well without being interrogated - indeed in recent years in many places I think the employer isn't even allowed to ask what is wrong, only how long you expect to be off.
I work in India and have been lucky to work in orgs where I have many times just said ‘I dont feel like coming today’ and they are like, ‘yea rest up and have fun’. When you have such employers, make sure to be available for the critical phases of work.
Load More Replies...I never do. But I force myself anyway. Usually the day goes fine. If it doesn’t, I reward myself with a gummy after the third disaster of the day.
I had to call in one day to say I was going to be late. One of my cats had brought in a live snake, and it was in my closet. I was going to be late to work because I was too scared to go into the closet and get my work clothes. I was waiting for my dad to drive over to my house to get rid of the snake. This was not the first, nor the last, time this happened...
See wouldn’t bother me lol I keep snakes as pets 😂I’d love that , free range snakes perfect for keeping vermin down ,
I was managing a company in a rural area. One day, a lady called me and said she would be late because there was a grizzly bear by her car.
That's a totally fair reason to call in to work. Would also accept moose.
She might've had "Teddy" there... especially if she lives in Colorado
I called in one day because there was a moose sleeping against my car. I sent a picture and the response was, "Good call!"
My employee at a day spa told me she couldn’t come in because Mercury was in retrograde.
Maybe she was a Capricorn. It’s really unhealthy to give or receive a massage or facial if Mercury is in retrograde. Especially if you have a Scorpio moon. /s
A woman I once worked with called her boss (on a Monday, of course) to say she couldn’t come in because she had mixed up the little bottles and used nail glue instead of contact lens solution.
Actually happens. Oddly enough. Not the first time I've been witness to someone using the wrong eye-dropper.
A trainee once called in to tell me that she “forgot how to get to work.” She lived at the corner of the block—she didn’t even have to cross the street to get there.
I knew someone who had that issue, turned out they had onset alzhiemers.
Oh... that's not funny at all. 😢Infinitely prefer the idea that they forget because they've just had a brain-fart or something.
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Years ago, when I was in college, I worked at a local, family-owned market that also had a bakery, grill, coffee bar, and some other things. I was there for three years, and it was kind of a wild place to work.
Anyway, one guy called in from jail.
Another dude called in from California (we live in Arizona). He went on vacation and just didn’t return.
Had a colleague call in because he was in the wrong side of Crete, and in jail!
I called in to work once because I slipped getting onto a city bus, dislocated my kneecap, and slid under the bus. Worse, I have cerebral palsy, and I injured my stronger leg, so I had a really hard time walking without help after the kind people at the hospital returned my patella to its proper spot.
Turned up to work wearing sandals, not uniform, after being kicked by a wassock in heavy duty work boots. Told boss that she could have me, and my broken foot, in sandals or not at all.
When I was a manager of a store, I had a woman I had hired call in on her first day of work, saying she couldn’t come in because her dog had just had puppies.
Sounds like something I would most certainly, in a heartbeat, no question would do.
Well acceptable , she had her priorities right tbh , however using the poor dog as a cash cow bad !!
"It's raining."
I live in Scotland. If I had called into work every time it was raining, they would probably have forgotten what I looked like!
Rubs Lamp: One Scotland please? Genie: They wouldn't like you, go here. Me: WTF is New London?
I'm sofa king american I had to watch Trainspotting with subtitles to get it. Especially Begby.
Load More Replies...I would say same with uk in general lol but wtf is rain 🤷♀️barely seen any in over 6 mths where I am , officially in drought, in my in the sticks area lol
I couldn’t sleep and finally tried a sleeping pill. When my alarm went off, I was so incredibly groggy I couldn’t function and had to call in.
Been there! Had an injury and was taking some pretty heavy pain meds, normally just for overnight. One night I didn't take the meds until 2-3 in the morning and was a total zombie when I got up. With a long drive to work I decided to call out instead.
Good call. They don't put those warnings against driving on those kinds of pills for nothing
Load More Replies...Literally me yesterday I work in a warehouse so the doctor was like just to be safe...
I called out of work one day because the ceilings where I live collapsed. I stayed home to help shovel out the mess.
I live in southern California. Your "inadequate materials" won't k**l me if they fall down in an earthquake.
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I was the somebody. I got out of bed before I was fully awake, lost my balance, and took a header into my laundry hamper. I also wrenched my knee pretty badly.
I once had to call out for work because I bent over to pick up and empty plastic bag and, for the first time ever, popped my back out. I could not even begin to stand up straight.
Sorry to tell you, but the first time isn't usually the last.
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A local radio DJ used to joke about “calling in scared”—saying things like, “I’m afraid I can’t make it in today.”
Not me, but my boyfriend. He had a coworker who’d call in sick a lot and have even more days where he had to leave work early.
My favorite reason he gave for calling in sick was that he had a pointy toe. I have no idea what it meant, but he was apparently fine the next day.
As for the half-days, there was one year where this coworker had to leave early because it was his dad’s birthday and he wanted to visit his dad early to avoid meeting his siblings, who apparently had some drama going on. This happened, mind you, three or four times that year.
Had a coworker, during contract talks, tell me he couldn't make ends meet on current pay (we worked 7 days/wk, double time Sundays) then, almost in the next breath, told me how he blew off a day to go to the casino. "Gee Mike, is there a possible correlation?"
Not super unusual, but I had a guy call off because he “had a lot of errands to run.” I couldn’t even be mad—I was so caught off guard by his honesty. But I told him next time, maybe just throw a cough in there and say he’s not feeling well instead.
Another time, I had a guy call off because his dog was sick. Not that unusual—I’m a pet owner, so I get it.
What made it unusual were the three messages he left after that, going into graphic detail about his dog’s post-surgery complications. I know way more about Cupcake’s genitals than I ever wanted to know. Ever.
I had an a**e clown email me saying she couldn’t come to work because she was locked in her apartment. When she went to open the door, the doorknob came off. I called and asked her to show me, so she videos herself putting the doorknob back on and opening the door… and the door had a deadlock, so the handle was irrelevant.
One lady rang in to say she couldn’t come in due to “women’s problems.” No further explanation was offered, and the male boss was too embarrassed to ask for details.
Would it not be against HR policy to ask her to explain Women's Problems though?
Not really. It is not an explanation. It was used as an excuse because they thought a man could not challenge it like he perhaps would with others.
Load More Replies...My wife had endometriosis and she had terrible cramping. It would have been difficult and embarrassing for her to have had to explain it to her boss.
I have two coworkers who have endometriosis, and while it's awkward for them to discuss it with me, as I'm male, they understand it's important that I know how badly it affects them. And while I can be juvenile at times, I treat them both with the respect they've earned working with me. Compassion counts.
Load More Replies...There does not need anymore explanation!! And boss that even tried asking needs to take classes in decency ,
Woman problems is sufficient explanation and no further information is required. In my shop saying you're unwell is sufficient information and no more information is needed. I'm not a doctor and I don't need to know your health issues unless you want me to know about them.
I've done that recently. I actually made it to work, but before I clocked in a cyst broke (one I wasn't aware of) and I bled through. Walked home that day
I went to Montreal for the weekend, and now it hurts when I pee…
"It's going to hurt exactly as much whether you pee into your toilet or ours, so come in to work."
I work for an environmental consulting company. We had a paid summer intern who was likely still in college at the time. His job was to go out with the boss to help with field work each day. The kid called off because his chinchilla fell into the toilet and got wet. He had to take it to the vet to get it taken care of—or something like that.
Actually, this is valid. Chinchillas can die or get sick if they get wet. Their fur is so thick, it gets moldy because it doesn't dry.
Having had chinchillas myself , lol u would be surprised what mischief they get in to 😂🙈
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Ooh, ooh! A guy who reported to me told me his grandma passed and he wouldn’t be at work on Friday to travel to the funeral. The conversation with the entire team at roll call went like this:
Colleague: “Boss, I won’t be in on Friday, grandma died and I need to travel.”
Me: “Condolences, sorry to hear—but didn’t both your grandmas pass away last year?”
Colleague: “Eish, ya boss, you know… my forefathers, ya, they each had a mother.”
Only in South Africa.
A few months after I started my very first ~real~ job as a teenager, my grandfather - Dad's father - passed away, and I had to call in for a few days. 3 weeks later, my other grandfather passed - Mom's father, to whom we were all much closer. I had to call in again. This was probably the worst year of my family's lives, but it was especially devastating to my great grandfather, who had already buried his wife and his other son, and he wound up having to go into a nursing home. He passed away about six months later, so my parents picked us up at school and stopped by my place of work on the way out of town so that I could tell them I wouldn't be in the next day. My boss got pissed and said ~ you can't just pretend someone died every time you want some days off, and you have supposedly already buried both of your grandfathers~. I went back out, told my mom what had happened, and she marched in there and tore my boss a new one while explaining the concept of great grandparents...
I had a coworker who didn’t show up to work for a week. She called in and told the boss she was sorry, but she had been in the hospital and couldn’t call before then. Sounds reasonable, right? But this woman was known for lying about anything and everything. I told someone that I didn’t believe her. They called the hospital and asked—nope, never heard of her.
They called her back and asked why she lied, and instead of coming clean, she doubled down and said she “signed herself in using her mother’s health care card,” which you cannot do in the country I live in—it would be fraud. After calling the hospital to double-check that it wasn’t true (not sure why they bothered), they called her back and she finally confessed to being on a bender with her boyfriend and just didn’t feel like coming in or calling out.
I still shake my head at the fact that they didn’t fire her for that.
Really? They did NOT fire her for that? Wow. That's somehow impressive, imo.
My boss was very lenient with her for some reason, and I can never figure out why. It got to the point where you could guess the days she just wouldn't come into work. We actually had our payday changed from a Friday to a Tuesday so she wouldn't miss so many Monday work days.
Load More Replies...😳😳...WOW. yet my niece gets fired for stopping a group (5 ppl) from kicking and beating a woman. My niece could not just stand there and not do something (company policy) so she ran outside with her pepper spray in one hand and her taser in the other hand and stopped the attack possibly saving the woman's life. She was rewarded with being fired and the OP's coworker does a no call no show for a week, lies about what happened twice and still wasn't fired!? WOW...just wow
That does not sound fair at all. I'm sorry that happened to her.
Load More Replies...I’d have fired her in a heartbeat for that !! you can’t do that , and expect to have a job to go back to ffs
My colleague didn’t show up for work one morning. No contact from him. The next day, no show again, still no contact. A few days later, we started to worry and tried to call his mobile—no answer. We tried to contact his housemates, but no one really knew where he lived.
Three weeks later, he finally called in. The supervisor was surprised to hear from him, but nobody expected his next words: “So I was in prison up in the North. Do I still have a job or what?” It went through HR, but he resigned before any conclusion was reached.
For clarity—this was in Ireland; “up North” refers to Northern Ireland. He had some previous driving offenses. He went on a trip with friends who rented a car. He drove, crashed, and was under the influence. Luckily, no one was seriously harmed.
I had a coworker who was notorious for calling in. It was always something like, “I have to take my cat to the vet,” or the like. My favorite was, “I can’t come in because my wife has a yeast infection.” LOL
I had one job where we had to give a reason for calling off. However, my union argued and won that if we had the time, our sick leave had to be accepted.
I would call off and tell management I broke my arm or back. When I told them I couldn’t come in because I had explosive diarrhea, management asked me not to give reasons anymore.
We had a team meeting—everyone was in the room except one guy. We were waiting, and the manager decided to give him a call.
The guy picks up, and the manager asks, “Where are you?”
A normal person would say, “Got stuck in traffic,” the usual.
This guy? He goes, “I’m at the bookies across the street.”
The manager had the phone on speaker, so everyone heard and burst out laughing. He wasn’t even scolded, as the manager asked him for some particular games’ odds.
Ours ran a crappy candy store, and hated kids, lol!
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I have two stories.
First, when I was discharged from the Army, I got a job at a lumber company as a delivery driver. One of the yard guys was a “topper”—anything you said you had done or knew, he had done or knew something better. One day, we got a large sheetrock (wallboard) order for delivery in the afternoon. He was next in line to be a helper (it had to be hand-carried into the house), and the load was assigned to me. I got the truck loaded, and we agreed to head out after lunch. Ten minutes before meet-up time, he called and claimed he couldn’t go because he had just backed over his dog in the driveway. I took a different guy, and we ended up splitting a very generous tip.
Years later, as a manager, a driver called me on a Wednesday morning to say he would be sick on Sunday night. It turned out his father had watched the Weather Channel and saw that there was a possibility of snow that day.
We call them black cats. If you say you have a black cat, then he has a black cat, and his cat is blacker than your cat.
Austin Tx? We had flurries twice in the years I lived there, the whole d@mned city closed.
A friend of mine had a large mirror beside his side of the bed. One day, his wife moved the mirror, and he didn’t notice when he went to bed. He didn’t go to work the next day. His excuse to his boss: “I woke up and didn’t see myself in the mirror, so I thought I had already gone to work.”
The boss laughed.
"I can't come in, I have optical rectitus. Can't see my a^^ coming in"
I worked with a woman who had a host of phobias. One of them was that she wouldn’t drive in the rain. If she went home for lunch, she wouldn’t come back until it stopped raining—even if that meant the entire day. For reasons I’ll never understand, they put up with it.
I once interviewed a candidate for a job that required driving to different places across the state. She wanted me to guarantee her that she would never have to cross a bridge. Obviously, I could make no such guarantee, lol.
And there's me thinking that only Witches cannot cross running water ....
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2020 election: a dude left work because he was stressed about the Georgia recount. He took the whole next day off too!
I wasn't stressed about it until Trump called the SOS of Georgia and told him to "find 12k more votes" and the SOB was reelected!
But Trump was not reelected in 2020 despite making that call.
Load More Replies...We had a receptionist in a printing plant once who called in and said she caught a cold from her dog! Good thing she didn't have a goldfish, she may have drowned, lol.
If she called in then I think we can take it that she didn't drown, so there's no 'may' about it.
Load More Replies...I worked with a woman who had a host of phobias. One was she wouldn't drive in the rain. If she went home for lunch, she wouldn't come back until it stopped raining, even if that meant all day. For reasons I will never understand, they put up with this.
Boss at work unexpectedly got her period. It was just spotting, but she insisted she had to go home because of the shock. Funny thing was, when another worker flooded horrendously she got told to take baby wipes into the toilet and just clean up best she could.
I have two. First, when I was discharged from the Army, I got a job at a lumber company as a delivery driver. One of the yard guys was "topper"- anything you said you did or knew, he did or knew something better. One day, we got a large sheet rock (wallboard) order for delivery in the afternoon. He was next in line to be a helper (had to be hand carried into the house), and the load was assigned to me. Got the truck loaded, and agreed to head out after lunch. 10 minutes before meet up time, he calls and claimed he couldn't go because he just backed over his dog in the driveway. Took a different guy and we were able to split a very generous tip. Years later, as a manager, a driver called me on a Wednesday morning, stating he would be sick on Sunday night. Turns out his father watched the Weather Channel, and there was a possibility of snow that day.
We had a receptionist in a printing plant once who called in and said she caught a cold from her dog! Good thing she didn't have a goldfish, she may have drowned, lol.
If she called in then I think we can take it that she didn't drown, so there's no 'may' about it.
Load More Replies...I worked with a woman who had a host of phobias. One was she wouldn't drive in the rain. If she went home for lunch, she wouldn't come back until it stopped raining, even if that meant all day. For reasons I will never understand, they put up with this.
Boss at work unexpectedly got her period. It was just spotting, but she insisted she had to go home because of the shock. Funny thing was, when another worker flooded horrendously she got told to take baby wipes into the toilet and just clean up best she could.
I have two. First, when I was discharged from the Army, I got a job at a lumber company as a delivery driver. One of the yard guys was "topper"- anything you said you did or knew, he did or knew something better. One day, we got a large sheet rock (wallboard) order for delivery in the afternoon. He was next in line to be a helper (had to be hand carried into the house), and the load was assigned to me. Got the truck loaded, and agreed to head out after lunch. 10 minutes before meet up time, he calls and claimed he couldn't go because he just backed over his dog in the driveway. Took a different guy and we were able to split a very generous tip. Years later, as a manager, a driver called me on a Wednesday morning, stating he would be sick on Sunday night. Turns out his father watched the Weather Channel, and there was a possibility of snow that day.
