Share some stupid, funny, or weird things people say on social media.

#1

"I don't believe in oxygen"

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anonplz avatar
shanila.pheonix_
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

nah bruv oxygen? nahhhh i have ascended the moral plane i dont need that peasant c**p /j

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#2

During the days of temperature readings when you walked into a healthcare facility. We had a kid that needed treatment, but their mum was being stupid.

Me: Good morning, before I can let you in I just need to confirm that you have an appointment today, ask a few symptom related questions, and take both of your temperatures.
Patient's mother: Don't use that thing on me!
Me: I'm afraid I cannot let you without taking your temperature.
PM: No! Those laser things mess with pineal gland in the brain.
Me: This doesn't have lasers, it's works by...
PM talking over me: Oh so it's one of those radiation ones! Those are worse! They emit radiation straight into the head and have a massive effect on the pineal gland.
Me: Actually it doesn't emit anything. It measures the thermal radiation being emitted from your body. You know, the heat that radiates from your body.
PM: Rubbish! That's not what I read.
Me, losing patience: Then you're reading the wrong things. I'm happy to get you the thermometer's specifications and user instructions if you like. Or the only other alternative is a rectal thermometer, but I don't think you want to be doing that out here! Either way, you aren't coming in without your temp being taken. And it's your son that's going to be missing out on his medical care.
PM: Well since you guys don't seem to know anything about basic science, I'm not sure I want my son being treated here anyway.

And with that she left. I reported the incident to safeguarding as the kids treatment was "necessary but not critical". Unfortunately, I never get to know the outcome of reports once they go up the chain.

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#3

Someone tried to convert me to Christianity and he said this. "Evolution isn't real. Because the Earth is only 6,000 years old. and before you say it. Satan actually put the dinosaur bones in the ground to test out faith in god." Later on he also said the earth was flat and denied the holocaust ever happened. He kept wanting me to go to his church to "see" the truth. Just thinking there are more like him makes me question our future as a species.

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21eselby avatar
Lesbian Thespian
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like I should point out NOT ALL CHRISTIANS ARE LIKE THIS SOME OF US ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE FROM TIME TO TIME also sorry for you

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#4

“The UK is a zoo”

I don’t even know where they got this idea, but they accepted that it was wrong.

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#5

There is a popular US news outlet that offers a wide variety of stories with a rather sensational slant. The "stupid, weird, funny" is reader comments. Regardless of the story content -dogs, medicine, tv/movies, weather - the comments are always like "yeah, it's the liberals fault - it would rain more if Trump were president - I'll take care of that turnip with my LEGALLY OWNED AK 47, etc". It's bizarre and disturbing.

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#6

On the news last week a woman said that god works through Mr. Trump and that he is doing god's work. Get help lady.

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#7

I had a bully in high school who thought she was the coolest, smartest, most enlightened human to ever live, and oh boy did she have some stupid ones. Her most idiotic ones were definitely:

-"I'm going to wear black today because the Sun is attracted (implied magnetically in the way she said it) to the color black, so I'll get a tan easier!"

-Strongly asserted to me that vaping was neither addictive or remotely bad for you, and ended with telling me that I was "absolutely wrong and stupid" for telling her it was going to harm her lungs.

-Told me that the holidays for my religion were "just plain dumb" because they worshiped "a giant bunny and Santa" (I am not anywhere near a devout Protestant, but I like when people respect my religious affiliation) and continued to be rude even after I explained the religious significance

-Told people I had "something wrong in my head" for not being attracted to the guys in our area (we went to an all-girls school and the boys' partner school was filled with insanely rude and entitled rich boys)

-told me I had "a problem" because I was attracted to not very muscular and more slender guys. She had a problem with it because that was "wrong and weird" and she was beside herself about this as if she was the one who would have to like this potential person

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#8

Wait, turtles are real creatures and you can have them as pets? Don't they have fangs?

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#9

"If you don’t eat meat or fish, you’ll become ill and die."
(Vegetarian 20 years then vegan these last 10. This is my ghost typing.)
"Cows always produce milk, just like that. That’s what they do."
(I loved this person dearly. She was my Nan. She had to leave school at 13 to work shifts that would’ve broken a grown man. She didn’t have the time or the resources to educate herself.)

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#10

One kid at my school was laughing at a video of Sadako and the thousand cranes, and I just lost my mind and yelled “not cool! You can’t joke about stuff like that.” And luckily the teacher told him to get out of the classroom and I was happy, because I was infuriated by the fact that he made a joke about the bomb that fell on Hiroshima.

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#11

Do dogs in china think in chinese?
- a boy in my science class in 6th grade
No i don't think dogs think
-my science teacher.
Global warming doesn't exist, the earth's temperature fluctuates
-that same science teacher
Humans aren't animals because we can eat from any level of the food chain
-that same science teacher

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#12

Someone thought the 'dinosaur age' was like 50,000 years ago

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#13

“MAGA.”

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#14

my seventh grade teacher said something along these lines to someone with a metal skull on their head:
teacher: "please remove that skull from your head."
class: starts losing it
teacher: "on second thought, please don't"

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#15

Some asked me what deforestation was. we’re doomed as a generation

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#16

in second grade my spanish/math teacher said something that i couldn't understand, earlier that year my mom told me if i didn't understand something to say what i thought at the time was "no quiero". so i did that and she got mad at me, so i said it again and she got angrier. should have stopped there, but my tiny 8yo self said it three more times before i got smart and stopped, nearly got in HUGE trouble with the school. when i got home my mom asked me what happened, so i told her and she lost it.
at the beginning of the year she told me to say "no entiendo," which means "i don't understand," what i ACTUALLY said was "i don't want to"

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