Shame can be both productive and toxic, there’s no doubt about it. It may make us lift our rears and get things done, and sometimes we all need that extra push of “I am gonna show ‘em all.’’ But the truth is, people can get real nosy and may want to get into stuff that has little to do with their business.
So when Redditor u/Dodongicepick posed a question “What is a healthy behavior that people shame others for?” on r/AskReddit, it seems like it really hit a soft spot for many. People are now sharing all the eye-opening stuff that often becomes a target of undeserved criticism and it makes you wonder how on earth this has become the norm. Just let them live!
Below are the most interesting responses, so scroll through and be sure to share what you think of it in the comments section!
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Spending time alone. Seriously, you think me spending a week talking to nobody is the issue? How about the fact that you can't spend 5 minutes alone in fear of accidentally reflecting upon yourself?
Taking medication for depression. I have been in situations where I have sat and listened to people talking about how they would NEVER take medications. I have had depression since I was 8. 41 years of struggles and it is offensive and it hurts when people do that. F**k all of you for judging.
THIS!!!!! You wouldn't deprive one of their medications for diabetes or cancer, so why is it so talk down about taking mental illness medications. It an illness! Take care of yourself and forget about what others think. I wouldn't be here without my meds.
Choosing not to have kids if you don't feel like you'd be a good/happy parent or be able to support them (emotionally, mentally, financially, socially).
Like I don't think I really want kids because I don't think it would be good for me/I wouldn't be super happy as a mom.
I'm on my way to full financial stability but I won't even consider it until I'm there. My mom keeps pushing me to have a kid even though I still drive an 08 piece of shit, rent, and have $60k student loans. Like, I'm not there, my kid is gonna have to go without like I did and I personally don't want to actively try to have a kid so they can go without.
If I did change my mind, I would want to make sure they had a really fulfilling life. My mom had me because she wanted a kid. She got knocked up by a dude that didn't want me so I grew up without a dad. She was a poor, alcoholic. I grew up shit and hated most of my childhood. I don't want to be selfish like her and inflict that on a kid "just because I wanted a kid".
I un-upvoted this once, just so I could upvote it twice. Being able to acknowledge that you are not financially and emotionally willing to have a child is one of the smartest decisions you can make as an adult.
To find out more about why exactly some people tend to be more judgmental than others, we reached out to Dr. Lise Deguire, clinical psychologist and author of a multiple award-winning book “Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor.”
“In my clinical experience, the people who are most judgmental towards others are secretly the most harshly judgmental towards themselves. Inside, these people are highly self-critical. It is no wonder, then, that they treat others the same way they treat themselves, critically and harshly. Frequently, when these people learn to be more loving and accepting towards themselves, they also become more tolerant and sympathetic towards others,” Dr. Lise explained.
Doing things that are normally thought of as social activities by yourself. Like eating at a restaurant, or going to a concert, play, or movie.
I am happy to do any of these things alone. I enjoy the downtime. It gives me time to enjoy me!!!
Being a fat person at the gym. They gotta start somewhere.
At the last few gyms I went to before deciding I didn't like gyms, I never saw any bullying behavior. The hotties were all too busy checking each other out to pay attention to the heavier or older folks.
Go to a parkour gym. They are all a bunch of nerds and software developers who would rather talk about Magic: The Gathering or video games than shame or judge anyone. And it's all about your own improvement. It's not a competition. If you're in Level 1 for 10 years, good for you!
Load More Replies...Am I weird in thinking that if I saw an overweight person going to the gym, I'd be more; yeah, good job! Good on you! You go!
I'm 60, obese, and have bad knees. I just started going to a gym for the first time .A couple of young men were smirking at me while I was on the elliptical. I went to them and asked them if they give 100% at the gym. They said they did. I told them I do, too, and their 100% is no different than my 100%. I could tell they had never looked at it that way. They are my biggest cheerleaders now!
or being a fat person in a bikini, swimming. or being a fat person eating a salad. being a fat person and not being invisible.
No shame in bettering yourself. I'm sure many of the "fit" people where bigger when they started too.
I hate gyms because of this reason. Everyone fit becomes vultures. Especially when you aren't doing the exercise or machine perfectly. Like cut me some slack I'm here aren't I. Making some effort. Gyms aren't a safe space.
At the four gyms where I've had memberships over the past 35 years, I've seen a couple people like this, new members who've just started working out and want to show off how much they think they know about exercise or nutrition. Or maybe they're just excited about their new routines and want to share. At any rate, they stopped coming after a couple months, like most people.
Load More Replies...Yo, if you're at the gym mocking bigger people and taking photos to show your friends... I will not hesitate to punch you in the tit or in the d**k... encourage them at the very least... but better yet, mind your own fucken business! I hate that s**t. How can you mock someone who is only trying to better themselves! I think it's motivating!
Gyms nowdays have rules against taking photos without permission. You can report the jerks to a staff member.
Load More Replies...Didn’t happen at a gym, but I think it’s cool, and apropos, to mention here. In the neighborhood where my husband and I lived when we were first married, there was a woman who was plus-size. I remember seeing her out my kitchen window after dinner, with her dog on a long leash, slowly riding a bicycle for a few feet, then stopping and getting off to walk. Nearly every day she was out there, sticking with it even though she wasn’t really good at it. I watched her for a year before we moved. Slowly, she got better, and was able to cycle farther before becoming winded. Eventually, she stayed on the bike, and her dog was able to get a great workout running beside her. She lost weight, and got healthier. It’s been nearly 20 years since then, and I still periodically think about her dedication. I hope she stuck with it. The name of our street was Martinique Circle, and if the lady I described is reading this, I want her to know she had a cheerleader—-me!
I actually really admire heavy ppl who have the guts to go to a gym b/c Im pretty insecure a/b my weight as it is and I would be such a coward if I had extra weight on. I also know how difficult it is to form new, healthy habits as well as start regularly going to a place where you can potentially be judged for your outward appearance. ppl who overcome stigma, fear, judgment, all kinds of struggles to try to better themselves are just amazing to me. They're a special breed. Good on you for overcoming all odds to do something good for yourself!
I enjoy a massage, 7 years ago I went and had a massage by a young woman who kept telling me how overweight I am and what I should do to change myself. Well needless to say it was the worst massage of my life, after taking my money, I left feeling miserable. Next I purchased a massage chair, it is the best investment ever!! I no longer have a person half my age 'fat shaming' me while I pay her.
People are always looking for someone to put down so they can feel better about their own shortcomings. Mind your own business
Well also, you can still be fit and fat--I have a friend who runs marathons, eats sensibly, and is far heavier than me. It's body type, metabolism--and she is far healthier and stronger than me.
There is no such thing as overweight and healthy. It’s a myth used as an excuse by people.
Load More Replies...See the critics for the insecure bullies that they are. Just smile in a sympathetic manner.
Never go to the gym, it grosses me out. Too much testosterone, too much insecurity including my own, plus covid. I have a few simple rules. 1. Always take the stairs, unless it's like 15+ floors, then you can use the lift ("elevator"). 2. Avoid having white bread every day, aim for just pizza. 3. Try cut alcohol. If you really must have it, then use strong stuff that carries fewer calories like gin, vodka, tequila, etc., not beer or alcopops. 4. Cut a food group each meal: only veggies and salad, plus one other big thing (starch, dairy or meat, but don't include all 3, so steak and salad OR chips and salad). 5. Reduce fried food to 1x per week as a treat (chips). No donuts. 6. No sodas. Just have water or black coffee, 1 sugar. 6. You can eat gummybears (don't eat a whole bag though). But minimal chocolate or have high cocoa only (like 75%+). 7. Do pushups once a day. Aim for 10-20, that's ok. Result: 143Lbs/65kg @ 6ft (183cm). "High metabolism" is bs, only kids have that.
Gyms can be awesome! If you go to the same one long enough you get to know people and it becomes like a family place. For example, the morning goers at my gym contribute to a Christmas collection for the two morning custodians, who've been there for 10+ years. Last year they got over $800 each! It's a little less this year, probably because of covid and all, but still nearly $700 each. Maybe morning gym times are friendlier because there tends to be more older and retired people there who have time to hang out and chat.
Load More Replies...The clinical psychologist explained that people's judgment and criticism of us feels terrible, sometimes even devastating. “When this happens, the first thing to do is to notice your own pain and distress and to treat yourself kindly. It hurts, plain and simple. Having compassion for your pain will help you bear it.”
“Once you have recovered from the hurt of being judged, it is good to remember that anyone judging you that harshly is probably in a lot of pain themselves,” Lise said and added that awareness may help you to move beyond the hurt of the moment.
Talking to yourself.
it's a good way to problem solve or even just vent about something.
Estranging from toxic parents.
Most people that I meet that finds out I don't talk to my toxic mother feels entitled to know how exactly she is toxic so that they can either a) be sympathetic and understanding or b) shame me for not wanting to squash it all down "because she gave birth to me." Be person A. Let's stop pretending that it's unhealthy to hate someone on the basis of blood relation.
Not taking business calls after work hours, everyone should take Portugal’s example and pass some sort of law against it.
I don't pay attention to anything until I'm on the clock. Idc if I'm on my 15 unpaid break. Get back to me when I'm on the clock again. I had a supervisor try to berate me for shooing her away while I was on an unpaid and on a personal call. I wasn't having it.
Not forcing your kids to hug others. My distant relatives can be so butt hurt when my kid doesn’t want to hug them, but I’m not going to force my kid to hug someone.
As the mother of an autistic child, I can relate to this one. I would rather them be butt hurt than for my child to have a total meltdown.
Refusing unreasonable requests. Just saying "no" in general.
Being single. I had this horrible experience where I wanted to be single for a bit and also just wasn't meeting anyone I was really interested in. I was perfectly fine with not having a boyfriend but my friends hounded me about it constantly. Always asking me why I was single, telling me I was too picky, would show up to hangouts with men and ask me why I didn't go for it. Me saying I was fine with being single was never a good enough answer. So I started to feel self-conscious about being single, felt like I was under a microscope so if I did meet someone I felt uncomfortable having my friends cheering me on. I was young so I didn't know how to handle it so I just kind of dealt with it but it sucked. Let your single friends be single unless they are asking for your help, advice, and opinions.
In my experience, it is very good to be single in some period of life. I used that time to learn how to be alone, to learn about myself, concentrate on so many different things that were fulfilling and building me as the person I became today. I'm so greatful that I don't have to depend on anyone, I feel stable and my relationship of 8 years is much healthier, I think thanks to my "alone" period.
Grieving. People tell you to get over it because they're uncomfortable.
Choosing not to be religious at all, lacking the same religious intensity, or believing in a religion that the other person doesn't believe in.
I don't get why people care so much what other people's faiths are. It's nothing to everyone else.
I got laughed at by my brother and his wife during Thanksgiving when I said I was starting to diet. Like, I get it. I'm a fat guy. Unfortunately, I can exercise, but that's only half the battle. It actually really hurt my motivation, ngl.
Asking questions.
I always upvote people here when they ask a question. They're trying to become informed, and that's a good thing.
Being wrong. It's healthy to express opinions and ideas. When we shame people for being wrong, we tend to stop new conversations from happening. In this way, we lose opportunities to understand where others are coming from and squander opportunities to change minds. Further, we push all the wrong-headed people into groups where they can go nuts following their wrongness to its logical conclusion. Just stop humiliating people for holding opinions and having bad ideas. And remember everybody does.
Politely and respectfully expressing negativity. Bottling negative emotions just for the sake of “being positive” really eats you up over time.
Being slow to respond. I would rather respond correctly than quickly. Same for confidence level. If I am unsure it means I want to double-check. It seems more irresponsible to speak off the cuff. But I think the reality is that the fast talkers are rewarded more, even if they are wrong.
I have stopped answering messages immediately out of principle. I don't want to live in a world where I have to be available at all times.
Calling in for a mental health day. There’s no good option. You call out and make yourself look unreliable or you go to work unstable and make yourself look unstable.
Thank goodness I am fortunate enough to have mental health days that I can take when needed. Everyone could benefit from these days. Should be mandatory.
Walking away from an argument or tense situation. There’s no way I can have a proper and productive discussion if I’m wound up! I’d rather take a quick walk or have time to myself before I tackle the issue. A clear head is more important than figuring out a conflict quickly.
Human sexuality. All through high school my mom was all “stay away from boys! They only want one thing and they’ll say anything to get it! Don’t be one of those foolish girls who gets tricked and knocked up and has her life ruined!”
No parties. No dating. No makeup. I wasn’t even allowed to TALK about guys being cute without her side-eyeing me.
Then I go to college and halfway through freshman year she’s like “why don’t you have a bf? Get out there! Meet someone! Why aren’t you more social? And PUT SOME MAKEUP ON!”
She meant well but…it was very confusing.
To this day I’m shy around guys I like because of that woman.
Why can't you swim, after I refused to let you take swimming lessons for your entire childhood?!
My family doesn't think I should cook or clean and that my wife should do it all as it was in their dysfunctional marriages.
One of my colleagues immigrated from a place with rigid and traditional gender roles. She makes her kids (all boys) help around the house. It's partly out of principle, but it's also practical. She has a career and her sons will have an easier time meeting and retaining partners if they do their share.
Wearing a mask.
I just don't get that. Masks don't steal freedom. Other cultures from different areas of the world have been wearing masks for health reasons long before this.
Getting up from your desk for 5min and taking a breather, only acceptable if you smoke it seems, not actually for just getting fresh air. I get why so many people smoke cigarettes.
Breastfeeding a baby in public
I think that anyone complaining about breastfeeding, in ANY environment, should be charged with child abuse as they are technically trying to deprive an infant from feeding.
Taking a healthy amount of time to take care of yourself, rest, or recoup.
Some people just can't afford to take that healthy amount of time to care for themselves, because they need to work 2-3 jobs if they want to live indoors, and other people deliberately put themselves into positions where they can't do so - because they want the rewards that come from a high-paying job. I'm very sympathetic to the former.
As a man, using sunblock. I can't even tell you how many times I've been heckled on the golf course for putting sunblock on my face before being out in the sun for the next 4-5 hours.
Next time that happens, tell them you hope they enjoy having their noses amputated in a few years.
Talking to a therapist regularly. It’s a purchase of time to help work through complex emotional issues in order to have more bandwidth in other areas. Good for all regardless of mental state.
therapy is NOT about someone being MAD......it's to help u be good from basically anything
Not getting into fights with your significant other.
Had a friend that tried to convince me that it was unhealthy for my wife and I not to get into fights. I tried to explain that when we disagreed with each other about something we talked it through and trusted each other enough to listen and be receptive to the other person. She just rolled her eyes and said that it would happen eventually because to her what we were doing was just bottling things up. I couldn't convince her that the reason she got into fights was that she and her husband bottled things up until they exploded and that's why she got into fights.
I argue with my wife all the time. She has social anxiety so won't argue with people. So, after a stressful day, I'll roleplay as a colleague so she can can have and argument and vent a little. We never actually argue about anything in our lives because we understand each other.
Being polite and non-confrontation. There are people who see this as a sign of weakness and will take advantage/abuse those who aren't assholes.
You can be polite and non-confrontational and still keep the assholes under control. Just because you refuse to fight the pig, doesn't mean that the pig won.
Minding your business. Some perceive it as you not liking them.
Keeping to myself and out of other peoples' drama/ business has been one of the healthiest changes I have done for myself in recent years.
Not shaving pubic hair. What most people don’t know is that pubic hair can protect you by keeping harmful bacteria out of ya genitalia.
Behaving with authenticity and integrity, even if it's at the expense of popularity.
Markiplier and Jacksepticeye are great examples of this. They're genuine, no matter what that may cause.
Having a mutually respectful relationship with my husband's ex-wife and treating my stepchildren with respect (and they treat me with respect). I don't see similar situations very often.
Asking about kids early on in the relationship. I’m not saying you should ask on the first date but why is it so frowned upon. Shouldn’t you go ahead and find out if you want the same things in life before you’re 3 years into the relationship and the breakup will be 10x worse because you waited till it was too late and it hurts like hell?
This is more important than people want to think, especially if you're looking for something long term. If you're just dating or looking for a casual fling, then that can be a bit heavy. Don't waste each other's time. Be honest. Yes, things change. But it's good to get any issues of having kids out of the way sooner than later. For ex; I have a medical condition where I have to go through treatments and medication just to be able to have a chance at getting pregnant again, and I don't want anymore. I got my one and only kid. My boyfriend is younger than me and I know he may change his mind, but I needed him to know of this would be a dealbreaker or not. There are other options if we change our minds about kids. Right now, we're both not interested in making our own kid and he's fine with my daughter added to the package. Can't complain.
People trying to better themselves or their situation.
This goes for a lot of things, exercise, work, trying to fix anything you don't like about your personality. If you try to cause change for yourself there will always be someone who shames you for it.
Many who shame are just insecure in their own lives. They are afraid you will succeed where they cannot.
As a dude - having a routine for my face at night, which is weird because my guy friends have faces too so I’m not sure where the shame comes from?
Just wanting a quiet, uninterrupted festive holiday without the expectation of visiting people in your family.
Farting.
This should be higher, in all seriousness. We all do it, and most of us feel embarrassed or ashamed to perform a natural bodily function. We actually go to great lengths to 'hold it in' as we make a madcap dash to the nearest toilet or private area. We should all respect the noble trump and embrace it's sound, smell and sensation. My wife farts regularly in her sleep and - still dreaming - offers a little chuckle after each one. Farting is good for you but please be careful that it is only a fart before fully committing to it.
Feeling your feelings. No matter what age you are, no one is allowed to just feel their feelings because it might be inconvenient for other people to be around. I'm not talking about just feeling sad or upset, but even really excited.
I cried hard this morning because my favourite cup broke and "bleeded" my coffee right out. Just woke up and so i am not ready for such disaster... my son had trouble not to laugh... my wonderful cup... 😭
Speaking or standing up for themselves in a reasonable manner and getting mocked for it.
You know what really meets with sniffy disapproval is calling someone out for being a capitalist or racist c_nt. Everyone is like shock horror, you said something rude. And I'm like, no, blaming the poor or being a racist is like the shittiest human you can be apart from a murderer or pedo, so... I will speak up. F**k your politeness and british manners bullshit.
Expressing yourself and then they say that person is so emotional.
I’ve been called an old lady many times because I just get tired earlier and even when we used to go clubbing before C19 I’d always be either in a corner of the club or back in the car if it was safe because I just can’t sustain a high level of energy for prolonged times. I just always make sure my phone is charged and can be contacted
Prioritizing your mental health. It's such a high expectation on people to expect to be constantly working and seeing who can sleep the least, while at the same time maintaining the perfect home/family/appearance. It's all an illusion and careful editing presented on social media to make you feel even worse about yourself. Though we've made progress in talking about mental health there's still a lot of stigma around it and many people either can't afford the help they need or have to be on months-long waiting lists which can find an appointment being offered too late. It's such an underfunded area and I just hope that in the future we can work to a lifestyle with clear boundaries between work and home and that when people need help and support that they can actually get it without having to worry about the money/waiting times/stigma.
If you see office workers, sales people, or just anyone, who boasts how little sleep they get and are always hyper and wired up, and brag how much they work, you can bet on it they're getting help from a certain substance.
Exercise. You would be surprised how many people make fun of me for going to the gym. Having muscles relegates me to being nothing but a dumb jock when I actually hold a master's degree and am extremely successful in my sector.
Not smiling all the time.
Not eating sugary products or junk food. I've been told I'm "dumb" by my siblings for being "boring" for not constantly eating junk like them. I guess they will see who is "dumb" when they get the health issues.
They're probably jealous because they're not able to do that. I know that I am jealous..😂 But I'd never shame someone for it..it is healthier!
Plastic surgery. When my grandfather decided in his late 70s that he wanted to have some rhinoplastic work done, it caused a ridiculous stir in my family. He explained that he had felt his nose was embarrassingly short and overly cute all his life (like a kitten's, he would say). Since he was a young man he had dreamed of having a powerful, ponderous nose like those Greek philosophers he admired so much. Having been a college professor for a while, he always had the impression that his colleagues treated him like a baby because of his appearance.
Everybody from my grandmother to my sisters made fun of him or went on and on about how this was a bad idea. He remained steadfast in his resolve, saying: 'all my life I've lived with a crappy schnoz, now let me at least be buried with a dignified one.' Indeed, soon after the surgery, he slipped deeper into dementia and sadly passed just a couple of years later. Still, I like to think that nose job made the winter of his life a bit more bearable...
Ordering a glass of water at restaurants/cafes!!!!!! I don't really like sodas so I prefer the water, but I don't want to add to the mountains of plastic bottle waste when the same water is flowing from the tap. Also, 0.5l water is not enough, but 1l is too much, a glass is a perfect amount
Not having a TV in the bedroom. Had this argument with my wife when we moved in with each other. Settled on her getting a new iPad and air pods, and me getting a new gaming WiFi router.
Not spending tons of time “branding” themselves on social media.
actually this one depends on your brand. If you're an influencer and you are literally selling your hotness, sorry to tell you, but once you hit middle age, hotness goes away and you then actually have to be a useful human being. So best you get on with that before you have a spouse and kids etc around. No, plastic surgery does not work, you can spot it immediately and you look like a freak. IF however you are branding for WORK reasons, like actual work, not posing in a bikini, then yes, by all means, make a huge effort, because your future employers will google you.
Being honest and direct rather than being “nice”
I don't agree with this one, being honest doesn't mean not being diplomatic or sensitive to other people's feelings.
Wanting a normal life when you're chronically ill or disabled. You wouldn't believe how much you're constantly being shamed for just wanting to do normal stuff that everyone around you is doing.
And how much shame you get for not being able to do it! .... Ten years past a spinal-pelvic injury, I still can't be "normal" or out of pain every day. I just want to .... Then I'm shamed when I say, "I can't, that's beyond my body's capacity". Ugh! Hugs to you, @Liz.
Load More Replies...The older I get the more I see, you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. People have forgotten how to play in the sand box with others. It's extremely heartbreaking how our own kind tear each other apart and never once stop to think about how their words and behavior will affect others. I know there are still people who know how to treat others with decency. Unfortunately, the majority overpowers any good going on. Constantly fighting for better seems futile at this point. There's just not enough wisdom, compassionate, understanding, and kindness in enough humans. It's only getting worse and I truly feel scared about what's to come.
I agree with you, Stephanie. For those of us with empathy, it's heartbreaking seeing what's going on around the world. The lack of humanity is frightening.
Load More Replies...Choosing to not express my opinion on stuff I know nothing about. You get accused of being weak or scared when you do this. I'd rather just listen to someone who does know about the subject or do some research first.
That is really an amazing humility, most people suffer from massive dunning-kruger. It's embarrassing to listen to some garbage people spout. "Just try these essential oils for your covid"...
Load More Replies...I think they forgot one: tattoos. SO much judgy judgment against people with tattoos. Like, it's not your body, why do you care so much? But oh no, .... must be a gangster, or have been in jail, or something.
And piercings, coloured hair etc. My dad still makes digs about my sister's tattoos and piercings. I think many employers are beginning to get that it isn't a reason not to hire someone though.
Load More Replies...Not liking being touched. Please, don't swipe, pat, poke, hug unless I am on the level of trusting you with my life.
Yes! My mum still hugs all as kids when she knows we don't like it. I think we need to normalise not shaking hands too. It weirds me out to have someone I have only just met want to touch me like that.
Load More Replies...Walking bare-footed as much as possible improved symptoms from my IBS, strengthened my rather weak knees, hips and feet, improved my posture and my thermoregulation (I freeze less during winter). Sadly, people laugh at you, look derogatory or whisper when they think you are not listening. I don't give a s**t, because I don't want to go back to times when I did not know how good it is for my whole system. I just wished people would ask, before acting like jerks and revealing their intolerance during times when everyone cries for tolerance.
I walk bare-footed b/c a doctor (not me) told me to do so during recovery from a spinal/pelvic injury. My feet needed to "feel the surface to help the nerves re-establish" was his theory. I walk without a limp most days now, and having already been a fan of going barefoot, took no effort from me. Just be careful to make sure you don't walk barefoot where certain things live in soil (hookworm, for example).
Load More Replies...We don't have tv. We have a tv. We just don't have any cable or satellite or anything. People are shocked when I mention that. Lolol
Same, we have PlayStation where we watch whatever lol but no cable tv. I think it is becoming more normal. I stopped having cable when I was 23 or so, saves money too.
Load More Replies...Not drinking or doing drugs. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told I need to “loosen up” because I don’t want a drink. Sure, I am perfectly capable of enjoying myself without booze or drugs but I’m the one who needs to loosen up.
People get so mad when you dont do it. When i was a teenager i expected rhat it would get better as an adult. But no.
Load More Replies...I'd also add to this list anything to do with fashion sense. Just a short while ago, there was a post in here about terrible things your ex-es did. I totally support people mentioning abuse and stuff. But one person mocked her ex because he had crocs with socks? Seriously what is wrong with that. I'd also say anything to do with personal interest. I met someone on an online forum, he mentioned he watches Power Rangers but doesn't talk about it cause people make fun of him for it. Like seriously? I can understand not liking a show and possibly not wanting to talk about a show you don't like, but why start mocking someone for liking a show?
People should never judge anyone for doing anything if it doesn’t affect anyone else.
True, but I can't think of anything that doesn't affect anyone else. I'm trying.
Load More Replies..."Working a lot" cause i had hard times outside word and i was gust too youg, let me work, I'm not putting you in difficult positions, just refuse to work, having only one person do overtime is not a menace to 10 people, for god's sake let me alone
It can be, if there's a union and they're trying to pressurise the boss to increase your pay. You then preserve your job but you cause them all to get fired.
Load More Replies...People just need to do what makes themselves feel better and don't worry about what others say. But that's easier said than done.
Masterbating. A lot of people do it, it can be good for your mental health and yet people think it is a horrible thing to do.
I don't know anyone who thinks that's bad. Do you know a lot of backwards, religious people?
Load More Replies...I am going to go completely off on the next person that tells me I have to be around a bunch of other people to be "healthy". I wrote a negative review of the last training we had because it was all about how we had to spend non-work time with our co-workers to be good at our jobs.
Wanting a normal life when you're chronically ill or disabled. You wouldn't believe how much you're constantly being shamed for just wanting to do normal stuff that everyone around you is doing.
And how much shame you get for not being able to do it! .... Ten years past a spinal-pelvic injury, I still can't be "normal" or out of pain every day. I just want to .... Then I'm shamed when I say, "I can't, that's beyond my body's capacity". Ugh! Hugs to you, @Liz.
Load More Replies...The older I get the more I see, you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. People have forgotten how to play in the sand box with others. It's extremely heartbreaking how our own kind tear each other apart and never once stop to think about how their words and behavior will affect others. I know there are still people who know how to treat others with decency. Unfortunately, the majority overpowers any good going on. Constantly fighting for better seems futile at this point. There's just not enough wisdom, compassionate, understanding, and kindness in enough humans. It's only getting worse and I truly feel scared about what's to come.
I agree with you, Stephanie. For those of us with empathy, it's heartbreaking seeing what's going on around the world. The lack of humanity is frightening.
Load More Replies...Choosing to not express my opinion on stuff I know nothing about. You get accused of being weak or scared when you do this. I'd rather just listen to someone who does know about the subject or do some research first.
That is really an amazing humility, most people suffer from massive dunning-kruger. It's embarrassing to listen to some garbage people spout. "Just try these essential oils for your covid"...
Load More Replies...I think they forgot one: tattoos. SO much judgy judgment against people with tattoos. Like, it's not your body, why do you care so much? But oh no, .... must be a gangster, or have been in jail, or something.
And piercings, coloured hair etc. My dad still makes digs about my sister's tattoos and piercings. I think many employers are beginning to get that it isn't a reason not to hire someone though.
Load More Replies...Not liking being touched. Please, don't swipe, pat, poke, hug unless I am on the level of trusting you with my life.
Yes! My mum still hugs all as kids when she knows we don't like it. I think we need to normalise not shaking hands too. It weirds me out to have someone I have only just met want to touch me like that.
Load More Replies...Walking bare-footed as much as possible improved symptoms from my IBS, strengthened my rather weak knees, hips and feet, improved my posture and my thermoregulation (I freeze less during winter). Sadly, people laugh at you, look derogatory or whisper when they think you are not listening. I don't give a s**t, because I don't want to go back to times when I did not know how good it is for my whole system. I just wished people would ask, before acting like jerks and revealing their intolerance during times when everyone cries for tolerance.
I walk bare-footed b/c a doctor (not me) told me to do so during recovery from a spinal/pelvic injury. My feet needed to "feel the surface to help the nerves re-establish" was his theory. I walk without a limp most days now, and having already been a fan of going barefoot, took no effort from me. Just be careful to make sure you don't walk barefoot where certain things live in soil (hookworm, for example).
Load More Replies...We don't have tv. We have a tv. We just don't have any cable or satellite or anything. People are shocked when I mention that. Lolol
Same, we have PlayStation where we watch whatever lol but no cable tv. I think it is becoming more normal. I stopped having cable when I was 23 or so, saves money too.
Load More Replies...Not drinking or doing drugs. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been told I need to “loosen up” because I don’t want a drink. Sure, I am perfectly capable of enjoying myself without booze or drugs but I’m the one who needs to loosen up.
People get so mad when you dont do it. When i was a teenager i expected rhat it would get better as an adult. But no.
Load More Replies...I'd also add to this list anything to do with fashion sense. Just a short while ago, there was a post in here about terrible things your ex-es did. I totally support people mentioning abuse and stuff. But one person mocked her ex because he had crocs with socks? Seriously what is wrong with that. I'd also say anything to do with personal interest. I met someone on an online forum, he mentioned he watches Power Rangers but doesn't talk about it cause people make fun of him for it. Like seriously? I can understand not liking a show and possibly not wanting to talk about a show you don't like, but why start mocking someone for liking a show?
People should never judge anyone for doing anything if it doesn’t affect anyone else.
True, but I can't think of anything that doesn't affect anyone else. I'm trying.
Load More Replies..."Working a lot" cause i had hard times outside word and i was gust too youg, let me work, I'm not putting you in difficult positions, just refuse to work, having only one person do overtime is not a menace to 10 people, for god's sake let me alone
It can be, if there's a union and they're trying to pressurise the boss to increase your pay. You then preserve your job but you cause them all to get fired.
Load More Replies...People just need to do what makes themselves feel better and don't worry about what others say. But that's easier said than done.
Masterbating. A lot of people do it, it can be good for your mental health and yet people think it is a horrible thing to do.
I don't know anyone who thinks that's bad. Do you know a lot of backwards, religious people?
Load More Replies...I am going to go completely off on the next person that tells me I have to be around a bunch of other people to be "healthy". I wrote a negative review of the last training we had because it was all about how we had to spend non-work time with our co-workers to be good at our jobs.