People Are Sharing “Harsh Realities” That No One Wants To Accept, And Here’s 29 Of The Most Insightful Ones
Our perspective on the world is shaped every day by everything we consciously and subconsciously see and experience. Some core ideas form in our minds that are rarely challenged later in life. But they should be. The general idea of 'right and wrong' that we see so often growing up doesn't really continue into the real world. Bad things happen to good people, bad people often face no repercussions for their actions: reality is harsh.
One Reddit user wanted to see what other 'hard to swallow' truths people have already learned. Over 31k people had something to say, sharing things that are difficult to accept, but are the actual reality once you step out of the dream world.
Bored Panda picked out the top raw and honest answers that are better to learn later than never. Scroll down and upvote your favorites, and make sure to share your thoughts; maybe you disagree with some of them? And if we're still missing out on some 'harsh realities', please tell us in the comments below!
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Hard work doesn't always pay off.
It's the avocado toast's fault!!1!1!!! Not the fact that rich people get richer by stealing poor people's money, we totally don't do that!!1!!1!1 /s
Having wealthy parents who are willing to indulge your adventures - THAT pays off.
A good worker gets two jobs. A bad worker gets two helpers.
Load More Replies...What is considered lazy, the office job or the manual labor one that sends people to an early grave as result
Load More Replies...This one is so maddening to me since in the US our national myth is that anyone who is doing well definitely deserves it, and anyone who's doing badly definitely deserves it. Conservative brainwashing for 40 years.
Conditioning by government which is litrally teaching rascism by encouraging people to work harder for the elites to live off what We earn
Load More Replies...Just because a person. has much money, does not always mean they are smart
So true, I know a lot alof hardworking people still living in poverty. Even with 2+ jobs. Just about killing ourselves just to keep a full stomach or heat the house. In a year my gas bill went from 80$ to 209$ because of "supply issues?" International conflicts? Ummmm more like f*cking greed and excuses.
Its because of inflation, which loweres the value of the dollar bill, which means prices go up. Also the Covid19 shutdown caused many issues with the supply chain.
Load More Replies...In fact it is frequently only rewarded with more work and harsher penalties.
I literally deal with the wealthy real estate agents. I have to approve their apps for them for to do loans. The amount of times I get threatened and then offered money to approve their apps is almost every app. I just transfer their case to enforcement. Yes, the wealthy is the problem..the entitlement is sicking
It's pay's off for your boss, who will kick you to the ground and walk over you when he no longer need you.
Bad things will happen to you for no reason.
Bad people are not above lying and deception to make things go their way. We had Mr. Orange, the liar, and then it looks like George Santos is going to be sworn in and he CHEERFULLY ADMITTED HE'S A COMPLETE LIAR. So, where's the Republican outrage? Nowhere to be seen. Why do people vote for them? Have you not learned your lesson by now?
Authoritarians don't think or make decisions in ways that are logically consistent to the rest of us. They start with the presupposition "my guy is always right" and then work backward from there to justify it.
Load More Replies...Yeah they do! God or no God. Ask my brother and I. We lost our mom when I was 17 and he was 12. She was an amazing person. Sorrow knows no boundaries.
I hope you & your brother have stuck it out together and are doing ok. You’re both so young, I wish many wonderful & amazing things for you as time goes by.💋👏🏼🫶🏼😘🖖🏻🌞❄️🌈🌤️
Load More Replies...Umm ... sure. But good things also happen to you for no reason. I suggest a challenging New Year's resolution: every time something GOOD happens to you, no matter how small and insignificant, CELEBRATE IT IMMENSELY! Make a habit out of celebrating EVERY TINY THING THAT GOES RIGHT!
No matter how kind and decent, foul and cruel, law abiding, or criminal... the rewards and the consequences are a lottery dished out and weigh the same for both. That's chaos.
I hate that this is true. There is no karma, no reason for everything and life is brutal and random. There is no rhyme or reason and no universal design
Load More Replies..."I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." --Thomas Edison.
Some people just can’t be saved, you could give them every benefit in the world and they still could choose to throw it all away and you can’t do anything about it.
So true, and it's impossible to stop the people that want to help them.
You're absolutely right about 99.9% of people. I feel like they just don't accept that the only person you can change is yourself and the rest don't believe it. It's sad and hard to admit, but it's true nonetheless.
Load More Replies...I call them leaky buckets. You keep filling them, but it doesn't matter in the end. It all just leaks out anyway.
You have to come to accept that people can only be helped when they want to be. It's hard, because it feels like you're giving up on them, but we all must understand that's not true. They gave up on themselves long before you got there. Sometimes all we can do is hope
Agreed. They need to WANT to change themselves. If they don't then nothing others do will help in any way.
They need to realize they need to change and are willing to do what it takes. Can't tell you how many alcoholics I have met who just wanted to change. There is a difference. JS
Load More Replies...Yes. And to save yourself you need to walk away, despite how difficult it is.
Often while getting blamed for not helping them or trying to, when really it's very difficult or impossible.
Load More Replies...Learned this lesson the hard way watching my sister drink here life away. Literally and I tried in vein to help. She couldn't get past whatever it was that she was fighting. Very hard and sad to go through and watch.
People can only be helped if/when they want to be. You can't make people to want to be helped, sadly. The crucial ingredient is the will to change and only the person in question can muster it.
This has been my mantra for 40 years. Some people don’t want to be ’saved’.
Some parents just don’t love their children.
My mum hates me. Used to brag how she tried to kill me a couple of times when I was a baby/toddler and it always felt like I owed her for not doing it. I don't celebrate my birthday even now cos I know how much my own birth caused her so much pain and hate. I started to heal when I vit her out of my life and this year, I started to learn how to celebrate my birthday. Still feels weird and awkward but I'll get there. And yeh, I don't love her either. And I'm a better parent to my own kids. Even if I am a bit mediocre at it
Mediocre is still great 👍 you don't have to be amazing to be a great parent
Load More Replies...Thus the "...no woman is worth anything until they have children/ it's their purpose in life..." b******t that was crammed down a lot of people's throats since they were born. Anybody who believes in that garbage needs to please go off themselves.
As a person who has tried suicide multiple times please don't tell people to "off" themselves it's beyond wrong!! Shame on you and your own ignorance
Load More Replies...Some people didn’t want to be parents. However, sadly, many countries and states deny their citizens reproductive education, contraception, then deny them abortion rights (apparently, religious overbearance (yes, I know, no such word) is all the public needs.
Some people have all those things available and choose to have kids anyway and still neglect and abuse them. It happens a lot where I'm from in the US. They are angry to be parents, have everything available to them to stop having more, and keep making people they refuse to care for. I wish birth control was the answer for this one, but in most cases it's not. Many couples have kids to save relationships, then when it only gets worse, take it out on the child. It's heartbreaking. I wish we did mental evaluations more often and gave out tubal ligations or vasectomies to those proven to be a danger to children.
Load More Replies...Just cause you can doesn't mean you should.... I've known too many people in life that want a baby.... But not a child, not a teen, not an adult....
You mean like those stupid "Instagram Mommies' who all need to be dope-slapped ?
Load More Replies...My parents sure never loved me. On the other side of things.....some children just don't love their parents.
Love and empathy are taught through action. You deserved better.
Load More Replies...And some people that would love to have kids, will never get the chance to have them.
And as one of those people, it is so fu*king hard to see other people treating their kids like c**p or complaining about them. I understand everyone needs to vent and that children aren't easy, but when you hear someone just completely talking sh*t about their kids and failing to treat them decently when you would love to be there even including dealing with the crappier days, it's just heartbreaking and infuriating.
Load More Replies...I'm 40 years old and this is an extremely hard truth that I'm finally starting to accept. No matter how much I have tried, the woman that gave me life really doesn't care anything about me or my feelings unless it benefits her. I have very very recently went no contact because I just can't take the hurt and rejection anymore.
Your government does NOT have your best interest at heart.
Please specify the government you talk about. I have a complete different perception here in the Netherlands.
Your government does not have YOUR (singular) best interest at heart. It may have the collectives best interest but not you as a person
Load More Replies...As a U S citizen I’m sure voting for this. Our government allows idiots who are older than dirt to serve in Congress. Also Donald Trump, Ron de Santis, Greg Abbot et Al sure don’t have our best interest at heart
This is true. I worked in the government and have never seen a larger group of people less interested in others in general. There were always the exceptions but they were often stampeded by the many who cared only for their own bank accounts and careers. It’s so sad, st least here in America.
It depends on who vote for. If you vote for reality TV stars with no political experience and doesn't care about anything but himself, you are going to get a dysfunctional administration.
Despite rants and crazy conspiracies to the contrary,, we still have democracy in America. "The government" isn't some mysterious entity. It's us. We get the government we deserve; because we vote to elect the people in power. If you think it's messed up, look around you and ask yourself what you're doing to make your community s better place.
Only partly true. The system IS rigged. It's designed to keep the status quo at all costs.
Load More Replies...They do, in many cases. We can except some autocracies like NK and Russia. In SA I am certain they DO have our best interests in mind however they are merely incompetent.
And insurance companies make money by paying for as little as possible. They are not on your side.
You can't be anything you want to be.
Like Naegleria fowleri so you can eat peoples brains?
Load More Replies...Steven Colbert likes this comment. Is potato.
Load More Replies...Yes, we just need to alter the saying for it to actually be accurate and still motivating.
Load More Replies...EXACTLY! STOP telling kids this s**t. Just makes them delusional and unwilling to let something go for a new sustainable dream.
I got in hot water for telling my 9 yr old nephew that in all likelihood he would in fact NOT be a pro football player. I told him to study hard and focus on education WHILE he played football but to let education be his main focus so he'll have a plan B if (and def when) football doesn't work out. Because realistically, he's most def gonna need a plan B lol Apparently I wasn't being supportive and bursted his bubble.
Load More Replies...Some people are just okay or good at many things but never really GREAT or talented in anything.
There's an old expression -"Jack of all trades, master of none."
Load More Replies...Why are people upvoting this? This wasn't super bad but it's still homophobic/transphobic. the thing was referring to jobs, not gender or sexuality. (Sorry for the little rant, had to deal with too much of this today)
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Some people just don't get a happy ending, some people never find happiness or satisfaction. People tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel but for some people there isn't, they never get to see any light, just darkness.
And for some of us, the light is like a cat laser pointer, enough to distract us and give us hope, but ultimately not much.
And sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is just a fkn train barreling down on us....
Load More Replies..."Aww.. Don't give up on life: it gets better" No. Sometimes it doesn't and, even if it does get better than "right now", it doesn't mean it ever actually reaches "good".
I think there is still something to live for as long as you can do simple things like buy beer and hot pockets.
Load More Replies...This doesn't translate so well in English, but a friend of mine said after losing a friend that some of us are just too fragile to take the weight of the world. It's just really sad to watch from the side as someone's mind flows into darkness and he/she doesn't want to hold your hand mentally anymore. I remind you that if you have lost someone who just wanted to leave life, it is not wrong to feel anger. That's part of grieving.
Conversely I truly believe we all have the capacity to find our own happiness. And I'm not saying that with some toxic positivity BS mindset or anything. I've been on medication since I was diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder and major depressive disorder at 10, I am extremely familiar with the darkness staring back at me. Your happiness IS out there. Find the thing, whatever it is, as long as you're not hurting anyone else, and grab it. It IS there, and I truly, honestly hope you find it. Pro tip: people are going to tell you it's stupid. Ignore them. That's the hardest part. Good luck on your searches. I believe in you.
Life is not a movie. There are no happy ending for some. No twists, no deus ex machina. Just endless suffering.
Load More Replies..."You'll find someone", yeah sure, I've been hearing this for 35 years. Don't say things that you have absolutely no possibility of confirming.
Well my friend, the problem is that you need to find you first. And I'm not saying that to be a dìck or anything. It's true. Find the thing you love doing and the person who'll like you will also love that thing.
Load More Replies...This is why I'm an Elder Goth since the early 80s. It's always been dark.
Biology is a s**t master. Biology doesn’t care about quality of life. Cows are some of the most successful large mammals in history and have arguably the worst quality of life metrics of any Mammal. Biology wants you to be happy enough to reproduce and pending that outcome it wants you to die. End of story and also the entirety of the moral of the story.
It's the cows own fault for tasting so good. Or I guess if you're religious you can blame sweet baby Jesus.
Load More Replies...If you're never seeing the light, it may be you're in the middle of the tunnel walking in circles. 🤔
Beauty matters in how people treat people.
I read some statistics saying that attractive criminals tend to receive shorter sentences than unattractive ones. Messed up.
Yeah, remember that really hot guy with the piercing blue eyes and the teardrop tattoo on his face? He became a meme for a while. Idiots were like "OMG HE KILLED SOMEONE OR WHATEVER BUT WHO CARES SOOOO HOTTT!!!1"
Load More Replies...In 2020 I was fugly. And now I’ve lost weight, cut my hair, learned makeup and had braces so my teeth are straight. There’s definitly a difference. When I asked out a guy in 2020 i was weird and creepy, and ofc he wouldn’t date me. But now I’m the one getting asked out. And I realized that I was so scared of being ugly that I started over exersizing, because I didn’t want to lose that privilege. Now I’ve realized that it’s ok if I gain a lil weight, and I eat so I have energy. I don’t wear makeup becuase it’s a lot of work, and now I’m trans.
Makeup is a lot of work! I wish I was just one of those naturally cute women without it cause I hate putting it on everyday
Load More Replies...been thin, been fat...when thin, people laugh at my jokes more, get lots of free stuff, get great customer service, etc....been fat, get followed in stores b/c they think i am a thief but no customer service, people think you're lazy or slow-witted, and you could have a gun shot wound to the head and no one would offer help...looks do matter...but they shouldn't
I find bigger women much more attractive than the skinny ones. Too bad not many other people do too.
Load More Replies...I've been considered beautiful and, sometimes ugly. The bottom line is that, if you are a woman, you still get treated like you are stupid either way. The main difference I've found is that beautiful people have no problems finding mutual romantic partners. But, it comes with the constant white noise of being harrassed when you are out in public and a stalker at work.
And it also makes you more employable, as managers prefer to hire good looking people over fat and old ones.
Load More Replies...yeah, probably in the past it was true... now I treat people exclusively by how dumb I think they are
And you do not allow looks to impact your perception? If not great job, but you must have to talk to a lot of people to draw those conclusions.
Load More Replies...I learned this one when I was in my 20s. I was average looking and where I worked hired a beautiful receptionist. I was shocked to watch how the men treated her compared to me. And one of those men was my boyfriend. Yeah, being beautiful has advantages.
I worked at several different advertising agencies. You find very few unattractive people working in this industry. In fact, I was told in one interview, "You don't need to worry about getting hired. You're good looking."
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That it’s more likely to succeed if born rich than if you born talented
I would prefer to be born talented and succeed at becoming rich, than be born rich and succeed at staying rich.
That was the point here, that’s hugely unlikely. There have been multiple studies done that prove over and over the best way to be successful is to be born into money. Even the most talented people usually don’t end up rich.
Load More Replies...You mean there's nepotism going on in the world? Does anyone else know about this?!?
Love the combination of sarcasm and cynicism. Well done.
Load More Replies...Celebrity kids get their foot inside the acting door a lot quicker than someone without those connections or name, no matter how they try to convince otherwise.
This is so true and so sad. If everyone had a lot more empathy, gave encouragement, and built each other up, we would have a lot more successful and happier people in the world. There are WAY too many people who are selfish, jealous & narcissistic just hell bent on having more power, and money than the next guy. I've been treated like s**t my entire life by SO many people (including my own parents & siblings), and every job I have ever had I got terribly abused because I was the one who would never say no to anything. But I'm a fighter, & I won't give up. I will ALWAYS be the person who tries to build up others, give encouragement and a smile, and make the world a better place because it's what I want others to do for me.
I feel most of us,including me, could succeed at our talent if we didn't have to work to pay for living expenses. The best example I know of this is Jewel supposedly lived in her car while trying to make it as a musician.
Being born talented is a myth, there’s no such thing. What we call ‘talent’ is a result of opportunity, work, interest, encouragement, coaching or teaching, time and, yes, often money.
Not really, you can be born with great voice or drawing skills for example
Load More Replies...If you look into the background of actors most came from well off families.
I guess that depends on your definition of success. Success in life doesn't equal material life.
Bit I'm pretty sure it doesn't include broke or homeless
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Sometimes, YOU are the problem in a relationship. And if people keep on leaving you, it may well be your fault. Even if you don’t feel like it is.
I work with a guy who’s been married and divorced 3 times. Spend an hour or so around him and there are many clues as to why but I don’t think he has ever considered himself to be the common factor in his failed relationships. He’s currently working on wife number 4 but I don’t hold out much hope for this marriage either.
I've had my share of being the issue and I have had to pay for those mistakes... it's not easy looking in the mirror and saying "You're the Problem Mari..."
That's a really honest and freaking hard thing to say. That's real growth
Load More Replies...A lot of the alcoholics I knew would talk disparagingly about how their parents were alcoholics, but they never could see it in themselves.
I knew a guy who couldn't hold down a relationship with *anybody*, from lovers to friends to his own family. He never once stopped to consider that he was the common denominator. Or that his own behaviour was also the reason why he couldn't hold down a job. Dude lived on Self-Pity Avenue.
There are WAY too many folks out there living on Self-Pity Avenue. Trouble is, some of them make damned sure they bore the rest of us to death with it.
Load More Replies...This reminded me of my failed relationships. At first I thought they were bad, not me, I still believed in my dreams - to have a husband, children. Later I understood that it was my fault, although I don't know what exactly I am doing wrong, but I know that I am bad. I made peace with it, I devote time and love to myself. Maybe in future I will find out a person who will like me the way I am, but for now I am alone, disappointed and with the feeling that I am repelling people.
I don't believe that you are a"bad" person for wanting certain things. However, you are right on working on figuring out who you are first. How can anyone make us happy unless we are truly happy within ourselves first? And remember happiness does not equal perfection. I think maybe you were just trying to fit the wrong people into your story, you will be okay though. Good luck on learning what makes you happy, it's your most important relationship
Load More Replies...Also, if you are constantly blaming men/women for being horrible, you're the problem. When women say 'all men are sh!t' or when I hear a guy talking about how all women just want men for money...no, the women you are choosing want men for money. If you want to be with someone who looks and acts like a hooker. then don't be surprised when she wants to be paid. If you're a woman who is constantly acting like all men are evil or losers or if you're constantly in violent relationships... you are the problem and you need to figure out what it is that's appealing to you about these guys that's making you choose them over and over. Stop blaming all guys. Stop blaming all women.
My sister. She would always pick the same type of man and then say 'ugh, men' when it went wrong. She saw control as strength. When all it is, is control. Why she felt the need to seek out a 'strong' man instead of looking for kindness and decency is yet another problem.
Load More Replies...Sometimes you have to determine what the only common denominator is. Sometimes it's you. You can't fix yourself through/with other people. That's a truism which should be on this list.
OR - you keep finding people who are terrible and the problem is truly them.
"finding" = choosing, which means you have an issue and need to change your choices
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The world goes on after you die.
"One generation passes away and another generation comes; but the earth is forever." (Ecclesiastes 1:4)
The idea of missing out on things to come is sad. I’d like to see how things pan out in 100, 1000, 10,000 years you know? Even if it’s bad, I’m so curious.
Same here Dave! I cant stand that fact! I am so curious to know what the future holds!
Load More Replies...There's an old cemetery behind my house with the average death date of 1890. Those graves are untended and overgrown, the letters on the gravestones weathered away. Those people are forgotten already and it's just a nice place for wildlife to hangout. I suppose that's not a bad ending?
This really does depend on if you believe in the after life. If you're just dead and it's nothingness after that for all time then it really won't matter if they build a giant statue of you, right? Like I don't want a s****y gravestone if i know I'll be a spirit and able to visit my grave.
Load More Replies...This made me think of how the earth replenished itself during the height of global pandemic quarantine (COVID-19). The air and ocean became much more clean in just a few months. People die but the earth will heal for future generations.
How would you know that if you're dead? Maybe reality ends when you die.
When my father died, I was so angry that the world was just going to keep on going without him in it.
COMPLETELY understand... Same when my father died. Hurts... Bad!
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There is no karma. Bad things happen to good people. Bad people do bad things that never catch up to them. Good people do good things that screw them over in the long run. It’s all random.
If you believe karma, you have to believe in reincarnation, and vice versa. You can't have one without the other ~ at least as a Buddhist that's what we learn.
Do they also believe that you may pay for your sins in your next life? Or benefit from your goodness, whichever the case may be?
Load More Replies...I don’t think karma exists but the likelihood of bad/risky behaviour causing negative consequences to those doing it is greater than those who don’t engage in such things to begin with.
But the consequences of these actions often hurt other people, like drunk driving, firing fireworks (or guns) at others, or not wearing a mask when coming to work sick, coughing and sneezing (which is why I got Covid and still suffer 8 weeks later from, with weakness, lung problems and a slowly healing heart).
Load More Replies...This ignores the fact that actions have consequences, even if it is beyond our sense of time or perception. I still believe that kindness is a better way to live.
Kindness is a more fulfiling way to live. But if you are talking about finance or business, kindness does not equal success.Often rich people are less kind. And suffer no bad consequence from that. Whereas doing good often does lead to a negative consequence. Personally I choose a less succesful, but more fulfilling way of life.
Load More Replies...THIS. It took me a long time to come to terms with this. Especially as someone who isn't religious, a part of me wishes I was because then at least I'd have the false comfort of there possibly being a punishment to someone who rapes a child, or is a serial killer, or does something else that is horrifying and there's no justice. It's hard to think that they can just get away with that but...they do.
Well, it's how they feel about themselves that counts.
Load More Replies...This does not mean we should all start being àssholes. Wisdom comes from knowing this and still choosing good.
I somewhat disagree. If you put out negativity you will receive it one way or another.
Karma has nothing to do with reward and punishment in a single lifetime. It is a belief system that says your deeds in this lifetime determine what you will experience in a future life.
Us 1st world citizens have it much better than we think we have it.
I know I was lucky.......born white in the UK gave me so many advantages . I do try to appreciate it.
born brown in the UK gives me those same advantages
Load More Replies...Someone describing the circumstances they live in.
Load More Replies...Ok, but there is more than one class in America, and the lowest one can't afford healthcare, or kids, or a home, or education, and lots of us keep getting our rights taken away. Is my life better than if I'd been born in a much poorer country? Probably, but that's not a useful metric for improving things here or improving things elsewhere.
Nearly every month I explain to someone that even if gas gets expensiv, covid sucks and inflation is a pain in the butt: we do okay. Sure, it can always be better, but it could be worse, too.
Yes, true. But we won't do ok when they convince the entire young population that everything is wrong and it all has to change. They'll all be voters soon. I'm glad I won't live forever.
Load More Replies...Being an American, I agree with this assessment and don’t dare take it for granted.
This is what makes it so frustrating that younger generations try soooo hard to be triggered by everything. We don't know true hardship, we only think we do.
First impressions are a very f*****g big deal.
On average you judge someone you meet for the first time in about 15 seconds. You are rarely wrong.
In job interview situations, studies have found that the impression you give in the first 7 seconds, i.e. walking to your seat and saying hello, is a better predictor of success than the rest of the interview. I suck at introductions so...
Load More Replies...First impression: Hmm this person is a little strange/ off-putting. Second impression: I was too quick to judge. They're okay. Third impression: Nope, they suck.
Millions of years of evolution as social animals has made up pretty decent at making snap judgements in some things. However, it also made us more likely to respond to irrelevant but very visible cues. Simple put - our talents at snap judgment of people is based on how humans lived for 99% of the time that we existed as a genus. We live in a very different social structure now, but our basic social behaviors, including judgement of other humans has not yet evolved in response. Luckily, we also have evolved to have pretty plastic behavior, so we can train our existing behavior systems to deal with the issues cause by other systems being out of date.
Not everyone is going to like you, no matter how hard you try.
Umm… am I crazy? Why are there two double posts with the exact same comments—
Interesting. It seems all comments are also in duplicate.
Load More Replies..."You have enemies? Good. That means that you've stood up for something sometime in your life." - Winston Churchill
Good quote. I think my favorite is a Dita Von Teese one: “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there's still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
Load More Replies...It's true....but is it important enough to make it #14 and#15 ? Just curious.
Money and good looks matter
Rich people: "money doesn't matter" | Poor people: OK then, if it doesn't matter can you give some of it to us? | Rich people: Nooooo this is not how you do it!!1!1!
Or can the rich people pay our bills and buy us food please? No? I suppose I'd better work my a**e off until I'm 70 then and hope to earn enough to survive. Money matters if you don't have enough to live off.
Load More Replies...I now hate Kanye West with the fire of a thousand suns since he has become brown Hitler...but he did say one thing right in his lyrics, "Having money isn't everything, but not having it IS". That is sadly VERY true.
No, money matters not looks, look at elon muskrat..... Weird looking MF.....
He certainly can afford to be the most handsome guy on Mars, if only he goes.
Load More Replies...But character matters, with or without money and good looks.
Actually they don't. When you find yourself at the last moments of life, money and looks aren't going to be the most important things to you. The more you focus on the superficial, the more they will consume you and keep you from what really matters.
well, guess we can be screwed together, join the club.
Load More Replies...Again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. However, self-respect, self-restraint, and discipline are almost always highly desirable traits. And if how much money a person makes were the primary factor in choosing a mate, a person who makes less money but has good self-control and knows what they want is probably a safer bet than someone who makes more money but lives paycheck to paycheck.
We're not all special.
Some of us will not find love.
We're not all equal.
If everyone is special no one is. Get over that kindergarten level nonsense.
Load More Replies...That really depends on how many competitors there were. Fifth place out of five is failure. Fifth place out four billion might qualify as an achievement. I, having quite modest ambitions, would settle for being the fifth richest person in the world, or the fifth most attractive, or the fifth most talented, Heck I'd settle for being the fifth most of those things in my local zip code.
Load More Replies...Interesting.. i like this and it requires a deeper explanation
Load More Replies...Wow. Here I was thinking it might be a good year... I'm going back to bed.
I think we all are special. We all will love someone or something. All human's are equal what ever race religion or sexuality, don't look at them and think they are not, we are all human remember that.
We are not special..... We are the same but the our circumstances are oh so different..... We all want the same things, but we don't always get them..... Love, belonging, healthcare, education, employment, security, stability, food in our fkn stomachs? A future for our kids? The right to love whoever we want? Our success as a species comes from selfishness not altruism......
Load More Replies...You are what you invest in yourself. If you don't invest in yourself, do not expect a good return.
Im not sure what "were not all equal" is supposed to mean. Every typical newborn human has the same potential as any other. The parents you get and how much money have determines everything else. Some people are far more culturally advantaged than others while some places on this earth are a living hell. There is no such thing as "equal opportunity."
You will likely be lost to history. In just a few centuries, nobody will remember or even knew you existed. Sad, I know, but you just have to accept it.
Ego. People want to believe they matter, that they are important. A big part of that is a legacy and being remembered. It's a not insignificant part of (some of) the reasoning behind having kids - to have someone who carry on for you.
Load More Replies...LOL ....few centuries?! You'd be surprised how many people don't know the names of their grandparents let alone their Great Grand Parents. most people are forgotten in like 2 generations.
I was lucky enough to actually know most of mine (grand and greats).
Load More Replies...In reality, we only matter to a small number of people right now, in this moment. Not that it matters at all, but if you think about it, possibly to someone living just 5 miles down the road, I don't even exist.
I reckon everyone should have a strong psychedelic experience once in their lives - if only to realise your place in the universe. It is very humbling and liberating to find out that little of what we perceive as our lives and things we waste pointless time and energy on actually matters in the grand scheme of things and that’s OK.
Yep.... But maybe not bring acid into this.... That perspective is a WHOLE other kettle of fish that I'd rather not revisit!!! LOL!!!!
Load More Replies...Please post on here every day so we do not worry about you💜
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Mistakes do define you. The little ones don’t, but if you make a big mistake, it will alter your life to an extent. Saying that they don’t matter is a lie that will prevent you from diagnosing life problems later down the line.
I spent many years training people how to use various types of warehouse machinery. I was taught to tell my learners if they made a mistake then stop think about it and then look forward. It's happened and you cannot undo it. So concentrate on what is in front of you. You are a human and you will make mistakes. Learn from them but, don't let them drag you down.
I don't think mistakes necessarily define u, what u do with them does. Everyone makes mistakes. But can u learn from them, or do u just keep making the same ones?
A mistake doesn't necessarily define unless it was a deeply amoral one. Repeated mistakes of the same ilk are likely able to be used to define. A kind of random mistake of a careless, clueless, or uninformed nature likely would not define. Every mistake should be a learning moment. However, they say that man is the only animal that trips over the same rock twice. Recognize the rock, memorize the location & size, plan a new path to avoid your particular rock(s). If you don't at least try to be mindful of the "rock", you will revisit it in one form or another over and over until you learn a better way to go.
Load More Replies...Having said that, it's not falling off the horse which matters, it's how long it takes you to get back on that does. Of course your mistakes define you, but so does how you go about making them right.
"It takes 20 'attaboys', 15 'good job!' and 6 'Way to go!' to make up for one 'Ah, s.h.i.t!'
You don’t always keep the good friends you meet. But that doesn’t mean you can’t make more later on down the road!
Amen. I have had no social circle for 16 years, and it's better.
Load More Replies...I'm horribly shy. So I'm not a social butterfly. So its more difficult for me to make friends.
Load More Replies...I call that situational friends. There are people that you only fit with while in university, or on the same job, only in your teens,... that is totally ok
This speaks to a thought I often share with people: if you could take a pill that would let you live 1,000 years, would you take it? The most common answer I get is 'no, because all of my loved ones would be gone before me'. My response is 'what is your capacity for love? Would you not find others to love?'.
Probably I would die of broken heart because everyone I love is dying
Load More Replies...Sometimes those good friends just drift apart. Lives change, interests change, people change. You can always make friends if you're open to new experiences. You have to learn to be a friend, to make a friend.
You’re the bad guy in someone’s story, so many of your enemies will never admit to doing anything wrong, but the thing is neither will you in some situations.
People justify their own behaviour to themselves. That’s why so many people can’t apologise and double down on the s****y things they do.
Because people tend to find 'reasons' and excuses for their behavior.
Instead of people, insert "we", you and I both do it too.
Load More Replies...Idk man, I don't think I'm much of a villain for ruining my r*pists relationship and reputation
But the fact that you even identified #25 enough to make a justifying comment about something you did kinda indicates that a part of you considers something about it as bad. Personally, I'm glad you did it
Load More Replies...Like I mentioned before, sometimes the problem is you. Admit, learn, do better, and grow as a person. Closing yourself off and denying past behavior or justifying it only guarantees you never grow.
I have Bipolar Type I, and I have done terrible things. I have harmed people. I work so hard now to keep myself healthy, but I can never undo the damage I've done. I think about it a lot. And yes, I'm in therapy.
This is the thought that saves me. Those people are evil, they spread lies about me to cover up their bad behavior which included stealing $30,000 from their disable brother and preying on his daughter sexually. Also, me being willing to look into my darkness and not b.s. myself into sainthood. I don't drink at all but I use A.A. and the 12 steps to pull my head out of my behind and learn to drive straight.
But you also have to be wary of blaming yourself for everything or immediately assuming the problem is/was you. Healthy, helpful introspection is always called for. If it really was your fault, own it and learn from it. But if it wasn't, don't beat yourself up about it and move on.
yes, i do, many. Mainly S***** and E****. S***** hate my guts for no reason and thinks I'm in a relationship with my cousin, E**** is just an overall homophobic, xenophobic, and transphobic jerk
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All human beings are capable of being viciously immoral. There’s a point where we can be forced or force ourselves to become completely animalistic. We can perpetrate murder and genocide, as just one example, and if justified to ourselves correctly, we will feel no remorse. We like to think that the only people capable of such horror are a minority but the truth is that we are all capable of it given the right circumstances.
Dehumanizing someone, considering them an animal, a rabid animal, is how humans justify killing them—-and spinning it that “the rabid animal” actually deserved to be put down. It’s totally f****d up, but it’s what we do. Soldiers in a war are sent there to kill as many of the enemy as possible. That enemy is vilified by being portrayed as less than human, as vicious animals, as deserving to be killed—-and people applaud them for killing more of the enemy than the enemy kills them. I know it’s a way to dissociate, to justify going against everything we’re taught about not killing people so we don’t go insane from committing an act that society would otherwise consider aberrant. But maybe by not dehumanizing others, by retaining the context that we’re all humans and shouldn’t be committing acts of violence against each other, maybe we might finally leave our worst tendencies behind us, and finally take the next evolutionary step—-one that the knuckledraggers continually keep pulling us back from—-by becoming a truly elevated species that doesn’t give in to our more animalistic tendencies. (Hey, I can dream, can’t I?)
Exactly. Ever notice how in movies like Star Wars the goons serving the bad guys so often wear masks or are somehow otherwise made to appear anonymous (or ugly and repellent), so therefore people don't take issue with them being killed by the truckload? Yeah, that's on purpose. The moment "the enemy" becomes a sentient being with feelings, people get uncomfortable.
Load More Replies...Are these posts "truths" or just a way to help bitter people express their opinions?
Probably a bit of both. Not everyone has the same truths or views so you can take these as you will
Load More Replies...My mom once said she would never be one that said,"not my child". She said she hoped she raised us right, but would never think we weren't capable of committing a wrong
Ha! Ha! My Mom was wonderful and I loved her dearly, but her first words would always have been, "OK. What did you do this time?"
Load More Replies...This is not entirely true. Dehumanizing "enemies" goes a long way towards self justification but it only truly works on the sociopaths which make up approximately 20-25% of us. However, we all have a killswitch engage. I am a generally passive person, but if my life or my familys' lives are threatened, well...
Completely disagree on this. Perhaps there are more than I think, but definitely not everybody
Look at how people speak about people who are different. There is perhaps some evolutionary reason to that but, we should be able to get past the fear of difference and actually think about whether differences matter. Politicians and religious leaders use the fear of differences to excuse aggression.
Load More Replies...I am reading "Humankind: A Hopeful History" and its changing my understanding of humans.There's tons of evidence to show that humans in general aren't the vicious killers that we think we are. There are many stories and experiments, such as the Sanford Prison Experiment, the Milgrim Experiment, the Kitty Genovese killing, etc. that have falsely represented to be more provocative for fame or fortune. Politicians and media push this terrible narrative cause peace and normalcy don't sell. Listen, I get that humans can be vicious, but I think most people are trying to succeed without causing a bunch of problems. . But what if we started to actually believe that we weren't all selfish killers? What would happen if we placed our faith in mankind and believed that we could work together to solve problems? We can be, we are, incredible when we allow ourselves to believe it.
Nobody is truly selfless, and that's ok
Yes, the people who do nothing to help others pretend the ones who do help others have an ulterior motive, to downplay their generosity, so they don't feel so bad in their selfishness.
Load More Replies...I think the wording here is wrong, people can be truly selfless in many situations. People are not always completely selfless.
I do agree, sacrificing yourself to safe someone else is selfless action, doesnt make the one doing it completely selfless before that, but in that moment they are truly selfless.
Load More Replies...One must first meet their own needs, then you can look to help others. It is important to know what your needs are and when they have been met. Some people have everything and need more, others have nothing and their needs are met.
Nobody can be totally selfless, because then they'd give and give and never look after themselves. They wouldn't survive. A person must look after themselves first, and then they'll be fit enough to help look after other people.
They might realize that to help others, you need to survive.
Load More Replies...volunteering because it makes you feel good helping people is not a bad thing.
That's more than "OK", it's the best of all possible situations. The best sort of society is one in which everybody enjoys helping each other. Since they are gaining enjoyment from the actions, that means that the actions are not really "selfless". However, being helped by somebody who is enjoying the fact that they are helping you is so much more satisfying, so it's even more of a "win-win" situation.
I actually have to disagree because I've had the pleasure of knowing a couple in my lifetime who were completely selfless. They're super rare, but 🤔 that 0.001% are the most amazing people you'll ever meet.
People refuse to accept that this IS the reality. Lots of time and money is spent cushioning that blow.
We live here. We live now.
Best get used to it.
Not sure why you got downvoted for a Matrix quote, so I upvoted to balance the scales 🙃
Load More Replies...I'm sorry, but this advice is ridiculous. It is 100% impossible for any human to actually perceive reality as it is. We live in a universe in which "solid" objects are actually made up of tiny bits of matter surrounded by "force fields" which take up most of the space of the object. That is assuming that we are not part of a simulation, or a 3D hologram of a 2D reality, or, alternatively, a 3D shadow of a 4D reality.
Reality is subjective, as well as perception and understanding.There is no set reality. Mine is different from every other human on this planet.
A lot of people live for the afterlife rather than the one on earth.
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Pain is inescapable. Not even acknowledging that pain is inevitable and preparing for it ahead of time can lessen it.
You will be taken by surprise, you will be hurt, you will not enjoy it, you will not be able to numb it, and there is nothing you can do except take it on the chin.
Well, the Buddha said all life is suffering.... And he wasn't fkn wrong....
Desire is the root of all suffering in Buddhism. Let go of all desire, and you'll literally want for nothing.
Load More Replies...I remember my therapist telling me "you're trying to avoid pain at any cost, but by doing that you're preventing yourself from moving forward because you're too afraid to take any risks or let yourself really think about what's bothering you". Or words to that effect, and she was right.
Pain - physical or emotional - is information. Vital information you can't afford to ignore or "get past".
True, often. But ... sometimes, pain loses the information it bears, or just repeats something already known forever. In these cases, getting rid of as much of it as you can is the best advise there is - it will eventually get worse on its own, and eventually, the pain meds needed to just barely function will exceed the amount you'd needed if you just started right away after getting to know it's a chrnonic issue lacking any useful info.
Load More Replies...My taekwondo teacher told me while I was trying to break boards: its gonna hurt, might as well get it over with. Do it once and do it strong.
I think your teacher may not have done you justice on your technique. I've broken boards for over a decade and it's only hurt once...bc of my technique.
Load More Replies...This is true, but YOU get to decide how pain defines you. You are NOT a helpless background character that things just "happen" to.
That's when you fall down, cry for a minute, then get back up on your feet, dust yourself off, adjust your crown, 👑 and keep moving forward.
Especially in a medical system that abandons patients with treatable diseases while making mass profits off of pain. You dont know what you got til its gone. Then you end up with something to really cry about. Life is no cake walk, but as our society and government can do better. Rich people live relatively pain free for large portions of their lives.
Very few people truly accept their mortality, and most of the time when it truly sinks in, people get scared and want to avoid it.
Making your final plans is the best time to mess with people. For example, I'm stating I want my remains scattered, but I don't want to be cremated....
I want to be cremated and turned into an hour glass.
Load More Replies...When I caught COVID I felt pretty much fine but just in case I wrote up instructions for my funeral and estate (hey, I was in quarantine all by myself and had a lot of time to kill). This included a playlist and my wish to be cremated and turned into a diamond.
You’re supposed to try and avoid it right? Isn’t that self preservation? For example I’m not going to drink a liter of vodka and go 110 on the interstate tonight because I am currently trying to avoid death. Obviously we all have to make our peace with it at some point, but I think the majority of the time avoiding it is a good idea.
I accepted it and have drawn up plans for my funeral. It involves cutting cake for some reason. Any flavours I can use?
Dark chocolate with a spicy aftertaste - go Goth!
Load More Replies...Also, that humans actually age. So many people are like oh no I am suddenly older and then try to reverse the damage. I get the vanity angle but come one. Birthdays come every year and add up. Its not some cosmic surprise meant to mess with you.
I'm 68 and have come to see death as the Final Frontier... Ithe greatest adventure of all. I am SO curious.
People can just simply fall out of love with you for no reason.
You fretting about whether it's you or something else or the investment is basically you giving them the reasons to strengthen the reason why they stopped loving you. When they could very much not have a reason at all, feelings and priorities can change.
Not necessarily for no reason. Maybe just for no good reason or something that seems unrelated.
This is why I find it interesting when people argue against polyamory because "what if your partner falls in love with someone else." As though monogamy somehow protects you from that. Given the rate of cheating and divorce, monogamy isn't an effective preventive measure. Not saying everyone should be poly, I know it's not for everyone, I just think that particular argument falls flat.
They were never really in love with you 😔 💔 deal with it and move on.
Yes this happens, but what's scary is revengeful people. They want to destroy your life, job, reputation and future relationships because the other person is not in love with them. They NEVER want to see someone has moved on, and if the other person is happy with that & the life they have created, they go absolutely bonkers! I've seen this happen first hand 🤬
People like to be lied to. They don’t like finding out they’ve been lied to
I do not like to be lied to! I CAN (for emphasis) handle the truth. Whatever you do, don’t lie to me. Whoever has lied to me will find out how much I don’t like it.
Everyone lies including you Denying this is a lie in itself
Load More Replies...As a mature student I did a communications course that covered lying. When explaining why you are late blame traffic. Your boss may be cross that you're late but they want to direct the anger to SOMETHING else. And I always thought honesty was the best policy...
It is interesting, when I took a sign language class of about 20 people it is considered proper etiquette in the deaf community in a situation like that simply explain why you were late. No issues. It, at least in the deaf community I was taking my classes in, to simply volunteer the information.
Load More Replies...Here's one...not everyone's opinion is valid. Credibility and experience on the topic matter. Look if you're not a medical professional i really don't care to hear your medical advice. If you don't know anything about truck tires please don't recommend me tires.
Here is one: If you post a factual statement on Bored Panda, people will down vote it because it contradicts their illusion.
Well, there's plenty of things that some people take as factual - part of their religion or belief system - that someone else will vehemently contradict and claim their reality is, in fact, an illusion. And so on and so on.
Load More Replies...There are two kinds of people in the world, no matter who you are, what you believe or not, or where you live. Nice people and a******s. Sometimes a******s can be nice, and sometimes nice people can be a******s, but you’re pretty much one or the other—-however, it’s NOT for you to decide. Other people are the ones who get to decide your designation. So you may think you’re a good person, but in reality you’re an a*****e. Or vice-versa. All you can do is try to be better, if you want to. Whether you succeed or not is something you can’t really predict with certainty.
I use not all nice people are good and not all good people are nice. In fact I know more nice a******s than I do just a******s or good a******s. Nice is a shell, good is a core. I much rather deal with a "rude" good a*****e than a bubbly nice selfish person.
Load More Replies...Agree, these are really just poor takes is sad some people actually believe this =:I
Load More Replies...Being in denial about something is not going to make your life easier. For example both my partner and I are disabled but I have accepted it and he hasn't. I get the help I need when I asked for it I get access to better services because I accept being disabled. He refuses to admit that he's disabled but at the same time he doesn't see me as being weak for accepting it. It's just a weird little quirk in his personality.
I was just like him once! I thought "well I'm not paralyzed so I don't *need* a wheelchair! that's unnecessary!" but then I thought about it harder and realized "oh right, standing for more than 20 minutes can knock me out from the pain for days... maybe I should ask my doctor about getting a wheelchair" and now look at me, happy and living my best life with my wheelchair
Load More Replies...Wow, most of these come across as a jerk trying to explain away and justify why they're a complete jerk. "I'm a horrible person because everyone else is a horrible person and you're simply too stupid to realize it yet or you'd be horrible too!" is an awful way to live. I know how awful SOME people are and I CHOOSE to not punish everyone else for it. I go out of my way to treat others the way I would like to be treated, not necessarily how they actually wind up treating me. Toxic pessimism saves just as many people as toxic optimism; no one.
I try and lead every interaction with kindness. I'm also disabled and have a pretty terrible life. And I think every one of these is true. People don't have to be jerks to acknowledge that life can be extremely hard and sometimes very unfair. It's just reality.
Load More Replies...My grandfather always told me, "there's only two things you can take to your grave. One is your name the second, your reputation. Better make damn sure they are good ones!" He's right! I take that to heart
Harsh reality: TRUMP F*****G LOST! And saying "TRUMP WON" after calling us "snowflakes" for saying he wasn't our president makes you a hypocrite!
one for parents: your kid is their own person and will follow their own path in life. even it it upsets you. deal with it. im not sorry for leaving the church
Regardless what path they take remember you're still responsible on guiding them on the right path. =:P
Load More Replies...Here's one...not everyone's opinion is valid. Credibility and experience on the topic matter. Look if you're not a medical professional i really don't care to hear your medical advice. If you don't know anything about truck tires please don't recommend me tires.
Here is one: If you post a factual statement on Bored Panda, people will down vote it because it contradicts their illusion.
Well, there's plenty of things that some people take as factual - part of their religion or belief system - that someone else will vehemently contradict and claim their reality is, in fact, an illusion. And so on and so on.
Load More Replies...There are two kinds of people in the world, no matter who you are, what you believe or not, or where you live. Nice people and a******s. Sometimes a******s can be nice, and sometimes nice people can be a******s, but you’re pretty much one or the other—-however, it’s NOT for you to decide. Other people are the ones who get to decide your designation. So you may think you’re a good person, but in reality you’re an a*****e. Or vice-versa. All you can do is try to be better, if you want to. Whether you succeed or not is something you can’t really predict with certainty.
I use not all nice people are good and not all good people are nice. In fact I know more nice a******s than I do just a******s or good a******s. Nice is a shell, good is a core. I much rather deal with a "rude" good a*****e than a bubbly nice selfish person.
Load More Replies...Agree, these are really just poor takes is sad some people actually believe this =:I
Load More Replies...Being in denial about something is not going to make your life easier. For example both my partner and I are disabled but I have accepted it and he hasn't. I get the help I need when I asked for it I get access to better services because I accept being disabled. He refuses to admit that he's disabled but at the same time he doesn't see me as being weak for accepting it. It's just a weird little quirk in his personality.
I was just like him once! I thought "well I'm not paralyzed so I don't *need* a wheelchair! that's unnecessary!" but then I thought about it harder and realized "oh right, standing for more than 20 minutes can knock me out from the pain for days... maybe I should ask my doctor about getting a wheelchair" and now look at me, happy and living my best life with my wheelchair
Load More Replies...Wow, most of these come across as a jerk trying to explain away and justify why they're a complete jerk. "I'm a horrible person because everyone else is a horrible person and you're simply too stupid to realize it yet or you'd be horrible too!" is an awful way to live. I know how awful SOME people are and I CHOOSE to not punish everyone else for it. I go out of my way to treat others the way I would like to be treated, not necessarily how they actually wind up treating me. Toxic pessimism saves just as many people as toxic optimism; no one.
I try and lead every interaction with kindness. I'm also disabled and have a pretty terrible life. And I think every one of these is true. People don't have to be jerks to acknowledge that life can be extremely hard and sometimes very unfair. It's just reality.
Load More Replies...My grandfather always told me, "there's only two things you can take to your grave. One is your name the second, your reputation. Better make damn sure they are good ones!" He's right! I take that to heart
Harsh reality: TRUMP F*****G LOST! And saying "TRUMP WON" after calling us "snowflakes" for saying he wasn't our president makes you a hypocrite!
one for parents: your kid is their own person and will follow their own path in life. even it it upsets you. deal with it. im not sorry for leaving the church
Regardless what path they take remember you're still responsible on guiding them on the right path. =:P
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