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There are so many things we wish our children would grow up knowing. However, separating the wheat from the chaff, the wisdom from the illusions is always a tough thing to do. And some things that our kids end up learning do more harm than good, don’t you think, dear Pandas?
Well, the parents of Reddit have been pitching in and sharing their takes on what harmful things are being taught to children in a viral thread over on r/AskReddit. From advice on how we should always be double-checking information to embracing failure instead of running away from it, some of these tips and tricks are spot-on and help kids grow into healthy, happy adults. (And don’t tell anyone this, but some of us adults could use a handful of these tips, too.)
Have a read through them below and upvote the ones you agree with. Got any additional tips on what things children should and shouldn’t be taught? Be sure to share your thoughts with all the other Readers in the comment section.
I reached out to Lenore Skenazy to learn more about how to overcome the passive mindset that kids are taught to embrace in school and to be actively driven by curiosity into adulthood. Lenore is the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement and the president of Let Grow, a nonprofit organization that fights overprotection, promotes independence, and makes kids ‘future-proof.’ and the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement. You’ll find her insights that she shared with Bored Panda below, dear Readers.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Little girls get told all the time that boys are bullying them because they like them
Mia Hamsa 4 years ago
It is not just stupid, it is dangerous as it teaches girls that abuse is ok because it shows love.
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lenka 4 years ago
Yes!!! I hate this one so much. He is not mean because he likes you. He is just mean.
GirlFriday 4 years ago
In other words, "It is easier for us to teach the girls to accept the bullying and trick them into liking it, than it is for teachers and parents to teach the boys to stop bullying."
giovanna 4 years ago
I remember in kindergarten little boys pulling up my skirt and the nun minimizing it. Luckily for me I have a feminist mother who wouldn't tolerate this in the slightest.
Nadine Debard 4 years ago
When I was 9 a boy tried to lift my skirt again and again so I hit him with my ruler on his arm so hard that the ruler broke (it was thick plastic). When the teacher asked what happened I just explained this. I wasn't in trouble. The boy was told to never do this again. He learnt the hard way, but he learnt.
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Kimberley Gayle Thomas 4 years ago
Since I wasn't happy with action for "love", I never liked any of the boys that did such. As a result, I was always ready for them. In Catholic schools, most girls wore shorts under their skirts. Not me. My defense was to punch them in the face. Yet they never approached me. In summer camp, boys put frogs down the girls' shirts. They screamed in response. I wasn't scared, so I was looking forward to it. They never dared. I must have been putting out some type of aura of "don't mess with me "when I was 6-10.
CatWoman312 4 years ago
When I was in 2nd grade I was straight up terrorized by this boy in my class and came home crying nearly daily. My mom always said it was because he liked me. A few years later I asked him why he was mean to be and he said he hated me. He did at least apologize though. So mom no he didn’t.
Simon Cataudo 4 years ago
Errr exactly the same with boys when girls are mean to them. It’s a two-way street that one.
Jackie Nettleton 4 years ago
My niece will never have that said to her, if a boy is bullying her then she tells the teacher and her parents and if that doesn’t work then she will be taught self defence and when she can use it
Capelli rosa e patate 4 years ago
The heart of the problem is that we aren’t teaching boys to treat them better. There is genuine science behind a three year old behaving like that-and if everyone tells him it’s sweet he likes the girl, then he’ll grow up being just awful. Nip it in the bud y’all.
RELATED:
#2
Boys don't cry. Let the damn boys cry
Gabuun Papaschikova 4 years ago
and then women are like " i don't know why mean don't show emotions" well cuz they've been taught it's "weak" to do so?? i heard a woman tell a boy " boys don't cry! be a man!" the boy was not more than 6 years old what is wrong with you?! maybe he needs support not a masculinity slap
Kimberley Gayle Thomas 4 years ago
I put in my dating ads that "Real Men cry, wear pink, love cats and aren't homophobic."
Kimberly Young 4 years ago
If boys were allowed to express their emotions, maybe they wouldn't bully girls "because they like them." If aggression is the only emotion that is acceptable, then of course that's how they express their crushes.
Mi Shield 4 years ago
As a boy, I'd like to cite article 41 of The Bro Code: A Bro Never Cries. Exceptions: Watching Field of Dreams, E.T., or a sports legend retire.
Genevieve B 4 years ago
When my little brother was about 6/7, he would cry about any sad thing in a movie. It was sad but also pretty sweet :)
#3
Making children hug or kiss someone (usually a relative) that they are uncomfortable with is not good. The child may just be grumpy and or not wanting to show affection or their warning bell sensors could be going off and they do not know how to communicate that. Plus forcing them to hug/kiss sends mixed messages about personal/physical boundaries and affection itself
RaroaRaroa 4 years ago
Very important that a kid knows they can say No to absolutely anyone.
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Carol Emory 4 years ago
My brother was forced to kiss our grandmother goodnight. He was 9 at the time and scared because she had lost so much weight and was only 95 lbs. He thought if he kissed her, he'd get what she had. No one took the time to explain to him that my grandmother was dying from a rare blood disorder and that it was not contagious. He said he gave her a kiss and then ran from the room. He looked around the corner to see our grandmother crying. She died before he could apologize. Be honest with your kids please!
Tapio Magnussen 4 years ago
It's not forcing them to kiss/ hug everyone but it's not neither to allow them to be grumpy as they wish. They have to learn to be polite, as well. And if they have an issue with someone, they can also talk with their parents. which is essential, by the way.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Exactly. I always ask my kids for cuddles or kisses because it IS their body and I am trying to teach them that no one has a right to touch you without permission.
Gabuun Papaschikova 4 years ago
as a child i feared being touch on the arms ( this part between your shoulder and your elbow exactly) ..... i hated when someone ( usually grandparents or siblings of my parents) would do that and i would try to break free and would cry if i couldn't.. it was like, i don't wanna say it was a phobia but it was a huge fear.. they used to say i was rude or hated them cuz i didn't let them touch me.... how about you respect my decision to not getting touched instead?!! i didn't wanna kiss anyone on the mouth and didn't like anyone touching me or hugging me for more than like 2 seconds and that's okay! people should stop thinking that kids should do whatever adults like doing...... ( kissing on the mouth was a normal thing btw, it wasn't sexualized like now is so it wasn't "child abuse" of any sort but i didn't like the thought of it anyway. am now older and still don't like children getting kissed on the mouth)
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
yeah. Don't force boundaries to be busted. You teach the kid it's okay to be touched when they don't want to be. That htey're not allowed to say no. Also, someo f us really do/did have creepy-as-ick relatives....
Modern schooling, if left to its own devices, generally has the unwanted effect of making kids far more passive than we’d like them to be. School tends to reward following orders and compliance more than independence, active curiosity, and drive. And that’s an issue that can have far-reaching consequences, one of which is the fear of doing what you want or trying new things.
“When a seventh-grade teacher friend of mine asked her students—aged 12 and 13—what new things they wanted to do on their own, but were still a little hesitant to try, the responses were rather shocking to me,” Lenore, the founder of Let Grow and the Free-Range Kids movement, shared with Bored Panda.
“One kid wanted to walk the dog—but was afraid it would get off the leash. Another said he wanted to go to the store—but he’d never been inside one without his mom, and he was worried about being surrounded by strangers. A few said they wanted to take a bike ride or even climb a tree, but they were afraid of hurting themselves.”
#4
What to think instead of how to think
Miss Cris 4 years ago (edited)
Maths teach critical thinking, not to buy at the supermarket, as it's often told....
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Joris Rombouts 4 years ago
1 + 1 = 2 ... a is read like "a". Sometimes we have to teach children what to think...
Donkey boi 4 years ago
I spent some time in an "institution" for people that didn't think or feel the same as other people. Even there, we were never told what we should be thinking, only that we should think and reason.
Zophra 4 years ago
Religion. Children are told what to think- not how to logically process.
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#5
That they shouldn't question an adult
Aurelia! 4 years ago
YES if we don't question adults, oppressive systems will stay THE SAME we will just pass them down and never make any progress.
Kira Okah 4 years ago
Questioning is key to learning, don't take things at face value and question adults.
arrufem 4 years ago
If you have the capacity to question and develop your own ideas. If you are not able what will it happen if you plug your fingers in a socket it is better you do not question to whover knows it. Believe, do not put those ideas in a child's mind
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Hollysmom 4 years ago
And responding to "why?" with "because I said so". I'm 61 and still hate and resent being told that. It's not an answer just a dismissal
Katelyn 4 years ago
Yes! I'm 14 and my dad always says that to me. Not even 10 mins ago, "dad why did you tell me to bring tennis shoes?" "Because I said so you dont need to know more" ugggggg just tell me why I need the damn shoes!!!!
Load More Replies... CatWoman312 4 years ago
Asking questions and understanding things is very important at any age. It’s also important you don’t just tell your child “because I said so” as an answer because you don’t feel like explaining why they can’t
Gabuun Papaschikova 4 years ago
i had a huge " i told you so" moment throughout my whole childhood cuz noone would listen or think what i was saying was legit cuz i was a child. most of the times it ended up in " well i did say it so......" xd
DC 4 years ago
... or that there re unquestionable things at all. Like religious dogmata - believe instead of know. I must admit, there are situations where the questions, the answering thereof to be more accurate, are to be delayed in a reasonable way, but that is totally different in intention, result, justification and therefore judging about it itself.
Lillukka79 4 years ago
I'm so happy, that one of the thingsmy mom thought me from a young age, was question everything. Got me in truble at school a few times but tought me critical thinking.
arrufem 4 years ago
Did her make you question if you had to cross the street with the light is red? How did you learn you should not do it?
Load More Replies... #6
That failure is bad. Failing should not be considered as an obstacle but a step in the learning process. Demonizing the failure and stigma associated with it makes many children lose their interest once they fail.
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Everyone fails on their way to success. Failure is a word we give to an experiment with no results:) but we still learned from it! It's impossible to not fail ever at anything, and I imagine a lot of kids are trying to hold themselves to an unrealistic standard
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troufaki13 4 years ago
Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn (your whole life, not just as a kid)
Sheila Stamey 4 years ago
You said should never teach a child the fear of failure! It's going to happen! Take away the fear and success will happen.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
I was never taught this. The total opposite in fact. You failed, you try again, and try to learn why you failed, What you could do differently?.
Kate Leaver 4 years ago
IF YOU FAIL IT IS OK! People are giving them the wrong message by telling them this.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
For every home run he hit, Hank Aaron didn't hit one several times. And that's okay. ---- my gramps
Lenore explained that “our catastrophizing culture” has scared parents so much, they’re anxious about letting their kids do pretty much anything and everything. While there are exceptions, of course, many parents veer sharply towards being overprotective and overbearing because they fear for their munchkins’ safety.
Ironically, the result is the opposite of what they want. “The result is not safety, it’s anxiety—kids who absorbed the message that everything is too much for them to handle. When you’re anxious, a simple slip-up doesn’t seem so simple. It seems huge—even life-threatening. How can you avoid those awful threats? That part is simple,” Lenore detailed. “You avoid doing anything.”
Doing nothing is exactly what the seventh graders that Lenore mentioned up above ended up doing. That fear spread to other parts of their life in the classroom, from taking tests (“what if they got a bad grade?”) to asking the teacher which side of the page they should write their name on (“they wouldn’t dare just choose their own!”).
#7
Nobody cares about children’s/teens issues. “Well it’s only going to get worse from here”. “You think school is hard? Have you ever paid a f**king bill” “You’re just a kid you can’t feel this way”. It breeds an emotional disconnect from parents and their kids. And makes kids feel alone in their emotional struggles, that nobody cares because they’re not adults and they don’t have “Adult Problems”.
Toko Danganronpa 4 years ago
Exactly. People often have bad assumptions of teenagers, but they have myriads of issues they don't talk about.
Annamagelic 4 years ago (edited)
Honestly you need to start this with toddlers, not teens. Sure it seems like a little problem from an adult perspective, but the feeling are real. I saw a quote something like, "If you want them to tell you about the big stuff when they're big, you need to listen to the little stuff when they're little, because it's always been big to them."
HooowlAtTheMoon 4 years ago (edited)
Yes please care about our issues. We go through things that are the hardest we've ever gone through, we will mature and get ready for the harder things but for now we need support (Any other teens out there, if yall ever need to rant to anyone you know where to find me, just reply to this comment, I'll most likely respond.)
Daria B 4 years ago
I'd just add that children and youth actually tend to believe the adults who tell them that, at least for a moment. Which makes it even worse because it gets you into a crisis like "if I have it better, why do I feel this way?" So you conclude there's something wrong with you, while, really it doesn't have to be this way, but you're bound to put the blame on yourself. Which is not healthy.
Geoff Rogers 4 years ago
The weird thing is. We were all children once, yet we forget how frustrating and upsetting it was for our ideas and views not to have been taken seriously.
purplesparklesarethebest 4 years ago
I feel this so much. I am 16, and last year when the first lockdown started here, my mother's friend posted regularly to Facebook a reminder to check up on their kids' mental health because younger people's lives have changed much more than our parents' have. Her reply? *mocking tone* So SwEeTiE, hOw'S yOuR mEnTaL hEaLtH tOdAy? Now she wonders why I'm usually in my room and don't want to talk to her nearly as much. Hmmmmm... I wonder why :/
El muerto 4 years ago
look, you shouldn't deny people their feelings, and a good parent should support their kids trough the difficulties. but at the other hand kids also need to learn perspective. yes, it hurts, but is not the worst that can happen. is sad that you couldn't go to the beach because there is a pandemic, but there will be other summers...life is not going to be cuddly all the time, and at some point you'll be on your own...and some parents have been teenagers and kids at some point too...with time you get perspective...both are needed
Nadine Debard 4 years ago
Well said. You need to keep them connected to reality, but in a kind manner.
Load More Replies... Gabuun Papaschikova 4 years ago
i was a lot more stressed from studying when i was in university than i am now as a working adult.... a LOT more stressed!! and i hated the " wait till you have to pay bills! you have it all easy now!" miss me with that s**t!
#8
It seems like forcing kids to eat everything off their plate is pretty harmful, it doesn't matter if they're full, they have to clean off their plate and they can't leave the table until they do
Erihapeti Swampwitch 4 years ago (edited)
I agree, this doesn't allow children to self regulate and know when they are full. It me years to unlearn this behavior.
Mia Hamsa 4 years ago
Our pediatrician said to us early on "If the sum of the week feels healthy, then your kid is doing ok so long as you avoid sodas and processed sweets and junk food. So let her have the potatoes only, next time she will have the meet, and then she will have the fruit. Make it available, they will get there"
Load More Replies... Aurelia! 4 years ago
Yes. Speaking as someone with an eating disorder, we need to promote healthy relationships with food early on.
Jill 4 years ago
Agreed...even today after having had surgery to get my obesity under control, I still have problems not eating something in it's entirety. This is so ingrained into me due to a financially strict upbringing and has caused so much anxiety.
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MAX THOMPSON 4 years ago
Punished edward, i advise you stop commenting so that you don't hit rock bottom in points.
Rissie 4 years ago
To Edward, who's comment disappeared, no it does not work. Learning to listen to your body's bmneeds us important. If you don't want them stuffing their faces with s**t, don't buy it.
Honu 4 years ago
Yep. My parents did encourage us to try everything, but we weren't forced to eat food. Usually, we just ate what they made without a fuss. If we really didn't want it and were still hungry, we could go grab something else (they weren't taking custom orders), but there wasn't junk food in the house. My dad had been raised in a "clean your plate" family and had wanted to do that with us so we would learn to like eating our veggies. My mom pointed out to him that he still hated veggies, so we tried it her way. My sibling and I love our veggies. A great way to imprint something negative on a kid's brain for life is to make it a battleground.
Load More Replies... lenka 4 years ago
Yeah. It has literally taken me years to teach myself that I dont have to eat everything on my plate - even when I am full and struggeling to eat it, I still have to fight the urge to empty my plate. We dont force the kids to eat everything on thier plate either. We offer them a healthy variety and let them self regulate. They are perfectly healthy.
Eslamala 4 years ago
It's not black and white. I don't think forcing food on anyone, especially a kid, actually works, but as parents we do have to teach them how to eat, and part of that is finding a way to motivate them to try new things. Even if it's just a bite. If you try it and don't like it, I don't mind, but assuming you don't like it just because is something I never let my children do.
Nadine Debard 4 years ago
Yes, it's OK to say "just try a bite". But not to force the kid to eat all the plate (even if it depends on how old they are and if they filled their plate themselves). And for people who want to teach them how to eat, make them participate to the meal preparation. This is the best way to make them want to try.
Load More Replies... Hans 4 years ago
Letting kids clean the plate is working on the symptoms, not on the cause. Kids need to learn to develop healthy eating habbits. Starting with very small portions of everything is typically working very well. Moreover, they learn a lot by example. Parents who eat only the fries followed by a huge dessert cannot expect their children to be happy about a mere load of veggies.
Stephanie IV 4 years ago
Don’t make food a battleground with your kids. They learn YOUR eating behavior no matter how you fight about eating up. This has worked for my kid: whenever he said he didn’t like something I cooked I took it away without any discussion or anger and offered buttered or dry bread instead. When he said he was full I immediately cleared the food away, no discussion, no anger. No pleading EVER. No guilt tripping EVER. EVERRRRRRR.
August Martin 4 years ago
My parents talked about a family they know who deos that. They just set the food in front of them the next meal if they don't eat it. One kid didn't eat for three days.
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
That's exactly what I would get, and how I responded (didn't eat)
Load More Replies... #9
That you can be anything you want in life. Sorry but this just isn't correct. Poor Eddie who can't grasp basic division isn't going to be an astronaut
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago (edited)
I agree with this 100%. I also hate the saying that everything is possible if you put your mind to it. Umm no, not everything is possible for everyone.
Ozacoter 4 years ago
Yeah. I feel that this is a big problems that milenials had. We were raised with the "if you work hard you will acomplish anything ". Now that most of us have a crappy life (no matter how hard we worked) ot brings all kinds of insecurities and frustration.
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Hans 4 years ago
I am a bit divided here. Realism is important, but so are aspirations. I tell my children that they can STRIVE FOR becoming what they want.
Caroline 4 years ago
Money and connections will lead you anywhere. Intelligence and hard work can only take you so far. Harsh but true.
John C 4 years ago
lazy comment. i grew up poor, didnt use it as an excuse, got my doctorate. if you had said underprivileged i would have agreed with you - i can easily see a non-white counterpart of mine not finding the same college opportunities which makes me sad and enraged at the same time.
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Rod Egret 4 years ago
I was born one-eyed and as a kid I dreaming of becoming a pilot. Imagine if my parents had told me that I can be one...
A Random Panda 4 years ago
There's a lady with no arms who became a pilot and a tae kwon do master.
Load More Replies... Donkey boi 4 years ago
I only heard a slight variant of this, 'You can do whatever you want with the right tools. As soon as you learn that you don't have the tools, you try to find them'. I don't see any reason why Poor Eddie couldn't become an astronaut, you need different people with different skill sets and while he may be lacking in one area, he could excel in others. Poor Eddie could be the best pilot in the world and the ideal person to guide a shuttle back into the atmosphere!
“The teacher told one girl who came to class late and hadn’t had time to get lunch, ‘That’s ok—just go grab something from the cafeteria and come back!’ ‘By myself?’ the girl asked. She was afraid to walk down the halls of her safe school, in a safe neighborhood, in suburban New York. Everyday life is seen as filled with risk.”
This passivity isn’t making children any happier, Lenore put it bluntly. Instead, kids are kept deep inside their comfort zones fully believing that it’s all that they can stand and that this is all that life has to offer. Fortunately, the students that Lenore mentioned had an awesome teacher who didn’t want them to go into high school and then adulthood with so much fear in their lives.
“She wanted to break the shell growing thicker around them every day. And so she assigned The Let Grow Project—a homework assignment that tells kids to, ‘Go home and do something new, on your own.’ At last, the kids were given a push to get out of their comfort zone—and so were their parents. After all, now school was telling them to let go of their kids and give them a little independence,” Lenore said.
#10
“No “tattle tails” or “snitching” How many kids are abused or bullied and won’t come forward because of this?”
Rakjell Hanwell 4 years ago (edited)
The best way to 'deal' with a kid who is constantly snitching on others for minute things, in my experience, is to take them seriously and if it is possible (which with small conflicts between children it normally almost always is) to tell them to resolve the conflict on their own, by talking. Or, if the snitching kid actually was the one causing the conflict, to show them that you are aware of who actually started it ('Sarah was mean to me!' 'That is not nice, but I also saw you taking away her stuff. Could it be that she wasn't nice to you because of that?') Snitching becomes much less exciting, when there is no adult who goes berserk on the one your snitching on (or if you get caught doing something 'bad' yourself)
Jill 4 years ago
Also asking them the question, "what do you want me to do?" gives them thought for how to deal with the situation. Talking through how they want to handle it (or you to handle it) is sometimes even more important. It also teaches that problems are bigger than just snitching on it.
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Yeah, you heard 4 years ago
I know, I can't believe parents who tell their kids not to tell tales, but then feel annoyed their teen doesn't tell them that X does drugs and Y is violent and Z is being abused. Kids should definitely tell tales when someone's been bad!!
Carol Emory 4 years ago
Keep in mind though that some kids use the snitching to gain control over others. My sister's friend owned and ran a daycare. The owner's daughter would come to her and tell on kids that were being bad and the owner would put the "offending" child in time out. That was until my sister visited and kept an eye on the owner's daughter from around the corner. She saw the girl walk up to a kid, stare at him for a minute, and then march upstairs to her mother and say "Thomas hit me!" When my sister called her out on it, the mother grounded her daughter for the rest of the week for lying...she couldn't play with the other kids.
Paradise 4 years ago
Sounds like she ran a poor daycare. She was not in their presence, she did not talk to the other kids, and the daughter gained attention from her mom when she had to share it with others. She could have been acting out to get them to not play and to look good in her moms eyes. - a provider who has ran an indoor licensed childcare.
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LilSugarDemon 4 years ago
I've been bullied for 7 years and just recently I was able to tell my mom about it. Being taught this made my life a lot harder.
Tabby_Sohee 4 years ago (edited)
THIS. Back years ago, kids would often bully my friends and I’m the type of person to go immediately tell on them. Once, a boy had his phone open in class. Now, I’m not mean enough to to get someone in trouble just because they wanted to text their mom for lunch or something. But this dude was taking pictures... of my FRIEND. Her SKIRT. He noticed me seething, laughed and told me not to snitch or else he’d post it. I raised my hand and said, very loudly, “[Name] took pictures of [name]’s skirt and he said he’d post it online!” He got suspended. When I asked my friend later, she had known too, yet she had been called a tattler and didn’t want to get called a snitch again. Its STUPID that she thought that.
haha laser go brrr 4 years ago
Yeah why the heck are snitches hated on? Unless it's something trivial, it's often important that someone of authority is told
#11
"If he's mean to you he likes you" It just teaches little girls (mostly girls) to expect violence from people who love them
GirlFriday 4 years ago
Again, this comes from people thinking girls are easier to control. "It is easier for us to teach the girl that she likes being hit than it is for us to teach the boy to stop hitting."
Iapetos 4 years ago
Heard that from my mum although she was in a loving relationship and my dad was never mean. I think she also picked that up from somewhere and passed it on because she lacked other advice like "ya know, some people need a good beating every now and then, I know you're a pacifist, but maybe you should strike him"
Honorary Malfoy 4 years ago
This just teaches girls to not do anything about abuse later on life...
real._.izuku 4 years ago
if somebody hits me I'm definitely hitting them back. i don't care that "guys do that only cause they like you". they hurt me, I hurt them back
M Kate McCulloch 4 years ago
if he's mean to you, he may be having trouble at home - but, doesn't mean you have to take him being mean to you...
#12
My son’s preschool has a strict “you do not have to play if you don’t want to” policy. No one has to play with anyone they don’t want to play with. They say that no one has to to hug or touch anyone or be touched if they don’t want it. No one has to share their toys or other school supplies if they aren’t done with it. In fact the preschool teacher will go over and referee and say “is Bobby done with the toy car? No? Then Mikey, you have to wait until he is done.” It’s pretty refreshing. I wanted to let you know there are new philosophies and my son’s preschool really strongly teaches body autonomy. Your body is your own and no one can touch it or make you do anything with it without your permission
Rissie 4 years ago
Oh, I'm not totally fine with this. Sometimes some guidance can be refreshing too for that kid that has a hard time connecting or little Bobby has been hogging that car the whole day. Small children totally act on instinct. Helping them look at other angles isn't going to hurt anyone. Just don't force anything. Hugs and physical contact? Totally agree. Although I feel this is more of an American thing?
Siah avis 4 years ago
I agree with you. They don't need to go from one extreme to anoher. Sharing teaches empathy and compassion too. I see too many adults who won't share anything with others. Some guidance while maintaining bodily autonomy si good
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 4 years ago (edited)
I'm fine with the, "your body is your own and no one can touch it without your permission." But not the sharing thing. It teaches kids that it's ok to be selfish. What if Mikey never is done with it? What if Mikey is the fasted kid in the class and always gets to the car first. So little Bobby never gets to play with it because Mikey's a being a tool and the teacher is supporting him on it? Was it bought just for Mikey or was it purchased for all the kids to use? So then why even offer it as a toy that anyone can play with?
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
You probably never worked with small children. There is hardly a chance Mikey will not get bored with the toy in a few minutes. Also, by asking Mikey "are you done now?", he will likely finish quicker OR - better yet - offer the toy to Bobby out of his own decision. And it is a lesson, too, for Bobby to not always get what he wants. Sometimes you have to be patient or find other ways to be happy.
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Hellysal 4 years ago (edited)
I am really surprised about this one - I don't get how is this a new thing? I had been going to kindergarten well over 20 years ago and it was in small town at eastern Poland, you'd never call this part of the world progressive (not this town but broadly in this region they announced those bullshit LGBT-free-zones in a few places) and yet we were never forced to share things just for the principle and it's like - as a collective - adults were on the same page with the idea of a child's autonomy and teaching them they have the right to play with the toy if they aren't done and the second child has to wait. Of course it would be polite to take into consideration that someone is waiting and if you'd like doing them a favor, you can share, but it wasn't forced. It strikes me that in supposedly "more developed" countries that approach is considered new and revolutionary. That is like... so sad.
pusheen buttercup 4 years ago
I agree overall, with a slight exception that some children will naturally abuse those rules and keep a communal toy completely to themselves
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
This is a DAYCARE center. Tiny kids are by definition selfish but they also are in general very empathetic. Teach them that kindness is good and makes people happy, and you're basically good. Kids aren't little devious monsters. They're also not "small adults".
Load More Replies... Paradise 4 years ago
I was at the children's museum once and a kid asked to play with the toy my kid had. She needed help verbalizing so I said" "in a minute when she is done". Mom had a fit. Sharing is NOT giving up a toy right away. You have every right to use it but be courteous to the next user. This preschool rocks. I am currently teaching my son who doesn't like to verbally apologize but hug, as we taught him that as an alternative-to also sign becsuse when he returns to daycare kids may not want hugs or may think he is hurting them and will push him away.
Genevieve B 4 years ago
My teacher used to say a similar thing when I was in 4th grade. She would say that, no, you don't have to do your work now while you are supposed to, but that means you will have to do it as homework or do it during recess.
Suzanne Haigh 4 years ago
This is nothing new, behaviour 'fashion' changes over decades, no wonder kids are confused.
Pamela Blue 4 years ago
Sounds like a beautiful environment for making kids feel left out (and they ARE being left out). Why would you teach a child that?
Mary Ellen Wagner 4 years ago
We have a similar policy at our center, but a little different. If someone is playing alone, they don’t have to let another child play with them. However, if there is a group of children playing, they cannot exclude another child.
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Alonso Victoria 4 years ago (edited)
OMG!!! Yes, there are kids that are happy by coloríng something with crayons or drawing or reading a book, but nooooo!! You will be happier if you play with other kids, if they wanted to play with other kids, they would be doing that in the first place.
CowboyHank 4 years ago
I was in kindergarten 35 years ago and I feel like this was the standard then too. Did people go to schools that started the day with everyone hugging?
“You can see the results in this 2-minute video. That teacher made them do twenty Let Grow Projects. And the result was kids blossoming like crazy—riding their bikes, joining sports programs, piercing their ears, making dinner, walking to town with their friends, and discovering how great it is to do rather than to hide.”
Lenore stressed that any school can do The Let Grow Project and all of their materials are available absolutely for free. You’ll find the project right here and the Independence Kit right over here.”It works for kids aged 5 to 14 or so. And by the way, if you or your school do The Project, drop me a note—I’d love to hear about it! You can write to me via Info@LetGrow.org,” Lenore added, saying that she wants you, dear Pandas, to reach out to her.
#13
Being wrong is bad. That's why many people don't change their mind when they were given trustable sources, they don't want to be wrong
Katherine Boag 4 years ago
It's more than that, it's that being wrong will get you made fun of. Being wrong makes you an idiot.
Katie Johnson 4 years ago
Being wrong in my family meant getting the p**s taken out of you so you felt humiliated and stupid. Fortunately, as an adult I've gotten over that fear of being wrong but I'll never forget the way it made me feel!
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Stephanie IV 4 years ago
Being wrong is the first rung in the ladder of learning. It is an adventure.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
You will be wrong until the day you die, and you will be learning until the day you die.
arrufem 4 years ago
Yes, Being wrong is good. Believing that Mexico is in Europe is a good idea... till you plan to travel to Mexico and arrive ... who knows where Believing 2 + 2 equals five is good... till you have to expect the change, or pay something Continue teaching kids in that way and do not be surprise they fail in their life.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
I was wrong once. It wasn't that bad, it was explained to me why I was wrong, I understood, agreed I was wrong and that was that. There was another time, but I managed to get an engineer to come up with a working model that would mean I wasn't wrong, but that's probably better off on another post (one where people are too stubborn).
Viviane 4 years ago
I joked to a new employee about being the village idiot. "I ask the dumb questions to spare others from doing so." It might be contagious. I recently gave a presentation to my colleagues and one asked a lot questions. I didn't have all the answers, so I said, "That's a really good question, I'll check that out."
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Mónica Elisabeth Sacco 4 years ago
It can be cured, though. Learn, learn, learn, study, study, study. Discuss, talk, express yourself. Satisfy your doubts.
FloridaMan 4 years ago (edited)
whenever i would do something wrong in school i would cry because it makes me look like someone whos going to live on the streets but i learned it doesent
#14
Abstinence only sex education. This is more of what they're not being taught. Proper sex education is important. Edit: For anyone interested I'm posting a link to a John Oliver segment on Americas sex education system. Its very informative but also quite funny.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I am just curious but do any other countries do abstinence based sex education or is it really only America?
Alex Luiz 4 years ago
I am in the UK, and we actually started learning the basics in year 4,or at the age of 8/9. I think the way I was taught was good-very age-appropriate, with extra layers added on in subsequent years. I also think that the general laughing about it, the shared awkwardness and the cringey leaflets, are a really important part of it because you can pretend you're too cool for it while still getting the information you need.
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Ellen Ranks 4 years ago
In the Netherlands there is sex ed similar to Germany and UK. We realized a LONG time ago(I think late 60s) that abstinence is not going to happen.
Stephanie IV 4 years ago
That’s right. Abstinent teenagers are like the Yeti.
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Teach biology. Teach about diseases. Teach about everys tage of pregnancy. The nuns and my mom did those things, and it was all a great incentive amongst us females, at least.... KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. Abstinence is just .... adults avoiding the issue. IMHO. And I'm an adult. Who doesn't avoid it. Oh, I wish I did. Only two godsons left whose parents will tell me to "give them that talk".....
Jill Bussey 4 years ago
I have seen too many examples of American teens and young adults making basic mistakes that should have been covered in their early years.
Sue User 4 years ago
Look, I get not wanting to teach sex education insofar as contraception. I don't agree with it, bit I get it. But to not teach basic biology to the point that people haven't a clue as to how the " plumbing" works is just wrong. People thinking that women use the same hole for sex and peeing, that women can control their periods, that men can control wet dreams. That needs to be taught.
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
For crying out loud, swallow your embarrassment and teach your kids about sex. Don't rely on public school sex ed.
Lyone Fein 4 years ago
Why not teach kids about morality and modesty, self worth and self respect instead?
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Ange Marsden 4 years ago
In NZ its starts with puberty education for under 12s and sex education at high school, childbirth, STDs, safe sex, it's part of the biology curriculum. None of my friends rushed into sex at a young age and I don't remember any teen pregnancies at school.
Kellie McGuire 4 years ago
One of my friends wrote a book called "A teen girls guide to getting off". Full of sex education. Definitely worth buying for your teen.
#15
My mom would often punish me for something, and whenever I asked why or what I did I was told “I’m the adult and you are the child” or “because I said so” or “you shouldn’t need a reason”.
Marianne 4 years ago
How can punishment have any positive effect when the child has no idea what they did wrong?
Mi Shield 4 years ago
I don't know.. Maybe, the parent... tells them? Hmmm... Sounds crazy! No that couldn't happen... Why wouldn't the parent, tell the child what they did wrong? Then punish them?
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Raine Soo 4 years ago
This sounds like my mom. Like punishing me hurts her more than it does me. What a load of crock.
Lj 4 years ago
Lol that was also my mom too. I erroneously replied to the #13 "If he's mean to you he likes you" XP
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
"Don't cry or I'll give you a reason to cry" is another classic. Why assume a child is crying for "no reason"? Really?
Melanie King 4 years ago
Yeah I read this a while ago and it changed my perspective on stuff a little but for young children, they don't know everything about the world so something that seems insignificant to us can be their entire world right then. If a teenager wants a cookie or whatever and their parent says no, the teen knows they might get one later, and finds something else to focus on, but with a small child that cookie is all they want right now, it's the only thing they are focused on and if they don't get it they're going to be more upset. So even though crying over the cookie seems stupid to us, it's not for them
Load More Replies... Honu 4 years ago
That is something I always appreciated about my parents. Every rule had a reason and they were willing to discuss it with us. They raised us to question and knew that meant we would question them, too.
Perfumista Perfumista 4 years ago
Got detention is school. Asked why. "you know what you did." 45 years later I still have no idea.
Chenandoa 4 years ago
Yes, that is no answer. Every order needs a reason, and EVERYONE as the right to it. If the adult was asked a reason by their parents, they would answer, right? And, if it involves discipline, the child will be confused for decades, if not the rest of their life. It makes them feel unheard, and that they are viewed as "inferior"
Angela Brisebois 4 years ago
My Mom was the same way, when I asked her years later she said, "Because sometimes you just have to say '"No'" Not much of an answer if you ask me. How do you expect kids to respect you and your decisions if they don't get the same respect in return? I always found this to be an unfair and unjust response. I needed to learn why, don't I?
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago (edited)
I use the excuse because I said so for when I say no to things and they constantly ask why lol, but never as a reason to punish my kids. Actions have consequences and if you can’t give a reason for the consequence then the child doesn’t deserve to be punished.
In an earlier interview with Lenore, the president of Let Grow, and the founder of the Free-Range Kids movement, told Bored Panda about how kids can keep their curiosity burning and their desire to learn bright and well-honed as they grow.
"I’ve been wondering this myself: How to stay curious when hit by 'the blahs?' Next to Covid (and in great part thanks to Covid) the blahs are the most catching virus around. You get tired and bored by being tired and bored, talking about being tired and bored, and succumbing to them,” Lenore said about how the pandemic is making all of us feel less energetic, physically and mentally.
“Unfortunately, the whole thing is self-reinforcing: A feeling of listlessness leads you to scroll through your social media of choice, which makes you feel more blah, leading you to scroll some more, etc."
#16
Doing the right thing will sometimes make others hate you. Be prepared for that.
Kno 4 years ago
The right thing is most times the hardest thing to do. Much easier to ignore what is right and go with the easy way. It takes great character strenght to do the right thing, and sometimes it will feel terrible, and you will feel terrible, but when you ask yourself is it worth it? And the answer is still yes, then keep at it.
Carol Emory 4 years ago
And for the kids that are upset that you did the right thing, parents need to teach them to get their priorities straight. No one should feel bad for doing the right thing.
#17
That complaining is the same as not being grateful. Can’t count the number of times growing up when adults basically told me to shut up whenever I was complaining about something and that I should be grateful that I was born where I was. Like sure, I’m glad I wasn’t born into some starving African family, but that doesn’t mean everything is perfect over here and that we shouldn’t try to improve things here as well.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Yes I hate this. People even say it to adults. We are entitled to our feelings, doesn’t matter if someone has a worse life than us, everyone copes with things differently.
Rissie 4 years ago (edited)
I do get this when it comes from people dealing with kids that are complaining about everything. The, my toy isn't good enough complaints. The entitled ones. But I still don't agree with that answer though. If you don't like it. Please go get yourself a new whatever.
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Conceptual&Colorful 4 years ago (edited)
The fact that you broke your leg doesn’t make my ankle hurt any less.
Enlee Jones 4 years ago
OMG I absolutely hate this. I’ve gotten the “what do you have to be stressed about??” thing and it totally pisses me off. It just completely disregards my feelings, like I have no right to be stressed or angry about something and my feelings don’t count.
El muerto 4 years ago
as an adult...listen to complains is good, but also, no, not everything is easy or fair, and you just have to suck it up sometimes...as somebody who grew upp in the bottom layer of society. you should not everything to go your way...sometime you have to wear a mask even if you hate it, and you can complain but it will not take maska away...not having food is a tragedi, not being able to hung at the beach is an inconvinience...at some point you have to learn the difference
Jill Bussey 4 years ago
It's not a competition as to who has it worst or best. We all deal with our lives.
I want cake 4 years ago
It's a very destructive thing to teach someone, because you're essentially preventing them from dealing with the problems they face. If you're not allowed to complain about something, or ask for help, then you're going to push it down and ignore it. You're going to compare every problem you face with someone else's and trivialise them and by the time you realise that you've deeply traumatised yourself by bottling up everything that hurt you instead of working through it, you'll have years of work ahead of you to heal from it and change your habits.
I want cake 4 years ago
In the Netherlands a lot of people will tell you off for saying you're hungry (ik heb honger) instead of saying you're peckish (ik heb trek), by lecturing you that 'children in Africa are hungry, you don't know what hunger is' and that always made me so irrationally angry. As if we don't have poverty here in Europe, as if people don't go hungry every day because they have to choose between eating and paying rent. Either way, joke's on them because I grew up in a few African countries so I always replied 'I used to be a child in Africa so I can say what I damn well please'.
I want cake 4 years ago (edited)
Obviously, having lived in a few African countries I know very well that there is a big difference in the level/kind of poverty, but what I hate so much about that attitude is that pretending that we don't have poverty and hunger serves to hide our own problems and promotes seeing the African continent as an 'other', an us vs them, and it reduces an amazing, vibrant, growing and creative continent to a caricature of poverty that people use to shush their guilt through petty semantics.
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Sara Rosen 4 years ago
YAASSS. And there is often (not always) a gendered component here. Little girls learn that their needs or wants are not important. Also, children's language and logic skills take time to develop so the tone with which they express need/want may come out sounding like whining but it does not mean that the need/want isn't valid.
#18
No is a 'bad' word. It's a strong word but not a bad one.
Aurelia! 4 years ago
So true - it is important to understand what 'no' means and to take it seriously, but also be able to use it when it is needed. Teach them early, and consent won't be an issue.
Luka Hamer 4 years ago
Also teach them that its okay if the no didn't work or they froze and couldn't say no. That whatever happens and however they handled a situation they don't have to feel bad and they can always come talk to you. Otherwise they may feel ashamed that even though they've been taught what to do, they couldn't or that freezing up might mean they wanted it somehow. And they may not come to you or not right away. Over 70% of men and women freeze up or coöperate when they get assaulted (tonic immobility).
Load More Replies... Eva the Egg 4 years ago
This is so true. There are certain times where you would have to say no.
Sheila Stamey 4 years ago
And that "no" is a complete sentence. That's very difficult to understand.
Carol Emory 4 years ago
I worked with a couple of temps that were going to college for early childhood education. they were told that they could never tell a child "no." They had to tell them to redirect their aggression to something positive. I said "Sorry..if a kid is about to run into traffic...you can start to tell them to redirect their energy, but they'll be a splat on the pavement. "NO!" is more effective."
Paradise 4 years ago
If a child can say no, so can an adult. We have a state program that accredites the preschools and one thing is is to avoid no's. Well....if my child wants a cookie post bedtime and I try to do the redirect approach "tomorrow will be a great time for a cookie. Maybe after lunch?" And it doesn't work in those 500 words a firm "no" is more powerful. I get explaining and not shutting down a kid, yelling NO the first time is harsh. But some kids do not take sublty (sp) and need a more direct response than a redirect. They may not really compute you said no, either.
Load More Replies... Donkey boi 4 years ago
I agree and I feel the same about the word hate. I was always getting told off for saying 'hate' when in fact I do hate some things.
Craig Reynolds 4 years ago
In certain situations (many?) "NO" is considered arrogant, assertively aggressive, passive-aggressive, uncooperative, etc, while "YES" can be considered timid, brown-nosing, capitulating, pandering, etc. It all depends on the context of the situation and how the response is given along with any follow-on! NO. Why? Because I said so. Because I don't want to. NO. Why not? I don't have to justify myself to anyone. Yeah, you kinda need to know the context. It's kind of ironic that the word "know" contains the word "NO" since you can't know why the answer is no if they won't tell you. It's the same for "knowledge"! You can't have it if when you ask for it they tell you "no"...
Mónica Elisabeth Sacco 4 years ago
"No" is the limit by which a parent sets limits. Limits save lives. Limits teach about liberty. No limits, no liberty.
FloridaMan 4 years ago
in my kindergarten class everyone was stupid they thought 1+1 = 100 and i knew it was 2 and they would say that hey is a bad word
Lenore put it bluntly: if we want to be curious about life again, if we want to be constantly learning, we have to start off by getting off the couch. “Force yourself out the door. Why? Because beyond your four walls, things are never exactly the same. Weather, animals, people, sounds, smells, clouds—they’re all swirling about."
She continued: "Ask yourself to start noticing new things. I did that this morning with a friend. We took a walk around our neighborhood and started looking for interesting details in the homes and buildings we passed. It went from a walk down streets we’d seen a million times to a sort of treasure hunt. And the big thing we were really hunting for? Curiosity! When you’re curious, you’re alive again—noticing, thinking, making connections. You can’t do that if there’s no new information coming in. So your first step is to force yourself out of a rut by leaving the house (harder during the pandemic, but not impossible)."
#19
"The parents never make a mistake"
.vibezzzz. 4 years ago
I hate this. If I had kids I would actually talk to them about how we should do things and calm them down. Or at least try to understand their feelings.
Annamagelic 4 years ago
Kids see through this one pretty quick. Much better to admit your make mistakes and apologize when nessecary.
Tracy Costa 4 years ago
The best way to get your kids to have the behavior you want is to model that behavior. We apologize to our toddler when we make mistakes so he apologizes without prompting when he makes one.
Hogswallop 4 years ago
My parents admit to making two mistakes. Myself and my younger sister XD
#20
"No backtalk." Many adults use it as "you're not allowed to challenge what I have to say." Makes sense if it's a cranky toddler being negative for negativity's sake, but suddenly older children can't question things or raise valid points of their own.
Raine Soo 4 years ago
Growing up, I was all about the backtalk. My father found it amusing that I was a wise-ass. My mother hated it because it was so unbecoming of a young lady.
CatWoman312 4 years ago
I was the same way. My mom often would tell me what to do ant not explain why and if I asked it was “because I said so” so yeah I back talked her. She couldn’t explain herself I back talked
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 4 years ago
I wouldn't use that phrase. It's not about the back talk, it's about being respectful. And it swings both ways. Kids need to respect the fact that parents are looking out for them or that parents have a reason for doing something. Parents need to respect the fact that kids aren't just small people incapable of grasping the reasons behind a decision. Speak to them like adults and they will most likely do the same.
Chaotic_pansexual 4 years ago
My parents use “it’s not what you said, it’s how you said it” even when I try to say things in the most polite way possible. “I don’t like your tone” or my mom would say “your negativity is making everyone else upset” it makes me feel like I must suppress my emotions; I can’t express any sort of negative emotion because I then feel like an awful person
.vibezzzz. 4 years ago (edited)
I raise a lot of valid points, but my dad thinks I'm just another person to do the things he doesn't want to do himself. Wimp.
Viviane 4 years ago
Just a heads up... From Merriam-Webster: "offensive : a weak or effeminate man or boy —used as a term of abuse and disparagement." From my experience, effeminate does not equal weak. Maybe your father is a conflict-averse wimp?
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Soggy Crumpet 4 years ago
Not sure about this one. Backtalk is different than challenging. One is questioning the reasoning the other is just sass.
Lj 4 years ago
That's true. Well I wasn't allowed either 😜 (no questioning, so no waaay would I try sass either, anyway)
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Carrie Roettger 4 years ago
Yeah, we're the type of family that uses sarcasm a lot so we raised sassy kids. I thought it was great because when my daughter had a boy asked her to be his girlfriend she was sassy and confident to tell him "I don't need a boyfriend, I haven't done anything wrong". If it was a serious issue they never talked back They knew when it was time to be serious. Although I do find it so funny that my grandbaby is as sassy as her Mama was.
#21
That you shouldnt hit a woman. Dont hit anyone! (unless its self defence) If my child is being hit by a woman, and bullied...equal rights equal fights
Rissie 4 years ago
You need a deeper understanding about the one property that really sets most men and women apart to get why this statement exists. Is stupid and still is no excuse to use force with anyone. So. If a person half your size is provoking you and trying to hit you. Hold them back. Don't hit them back. Just use your advantage to physically restrain that person. If someone of equal size does the same and the only way to get out of it is to hit back, hit back in self defense. If that person is twice your size, try to escape. These are physical limitations. Don't hit a woman comes from most women being smaller and less strong physically. But many women have their own "violence" using words and social status. If someone uses vile words. Hit them back if you can. If they are stronger with words, leave that conversation. If you are the one with more to say, restrain them. But do not mistake abusing mental or physical prowess for fighting equally. An equal fight asks for equal participants.
Soviet_catto 4 years ago
I could not agree more. Equal rights equal fights means EQUAL fights, not one person beating the living s*** out of another.
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Aroace tiger 4 years ago
I've always hated this. Why does their gender matter??? Just don't hit people!
Carol Emory 4 years ago
And stop teaching them the double standard that boys shouldn't hit girls but that it's ok for girls to slap guys. Keep your hands off each other.
Chucky Cheezburger 4 years ago
Unless everyone gives consent and you have an agreed upon safe word in place...
Load More Replies... FloridaMan 4 years ago
i do support equal rights but im just saying if a woman is attacking you you defend yourself, dont just accept it, thats dumb s**t
Jack Tripper 4 years ago
One of the silliest examples of "I can't hit a girl" is from a classic Batman episode. Robin is surrounded by (I think) Catwoman's ladies and they are pushing him and hitting him and he says "can't fight back, can't hit a girl!". So dumb! Fight back! You are in danger!
El muerto 4 years ago
some people think that girls don't hit...but is mostly that boys are shamed into silence. or punished for hitting back. and often the girl gets away with it...i work with trouble kids for a while. eventually i remembered that... is not a rule, but is more common that people think...on the other hand, i rather see my dotter defending herself that taking abuse
If you look at the pandemic from a different perspective, it might motivate you to start learning new things. For instance, think about what you’d wish you’d learned or a skill that you’d like to have honed by the end of the pandemic.
“Think of something you’d like to be able to say you’ve been working on, especially once life returns to normal: 'Well, I wasted a lot of that free time I had, but at least I started...' Or, 'At least I learned…' For my sister, she’s taking ballet online. For my husband, he’s learning film editing. For me, it’s… oh God! I better come up with something fast! Um…let’s say I will learn how to create a Clubhouse program. Ok?" Lenore quipped that even the best of the best can struggle with this during the lockdowns.
#22
That the news is completely reliable
Alex Luiz 4 years ago
Hahaha, in England we are no longer allowed to quote media with an 'anti-capitalist leaning' in our lessons because it 'validates extremist views'. Genuinely scary stuff.
Essex Eagle 4 years ago
LOB, if teachers actually just taught and didn't bring their personal views into the classroom perhaps so much of the shite that's happening in the schools and universities wouldn't happen
Load More Replies... Mónica Elisabeth Sacco 4 years ago (edited)
"Oh yeah, I heard it on the radio/TV /internet: Earth is positively flat. "
Lyone Fein 4 years ago
Who says this sort of thing? My mother always told me that the news was unreliable!
Essex Eagle 4 years ago
News is very rarely reported, what is reported is the opinion on the person/media outlet reporting it to go with their narrative they want to promote.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
So what - you don't believe anything? Someone is out there doing the journalist word, and if you don't listen/read them, you will stay ignorant of larger issues. (good) journalists are majorly important, and news should report their findings. Of course there will be bias, but you can counter it with checking other sources. Mostly, you will find the facts easily and the interpretation is what remains.
Load More Replies... Danieletc 4 years ago
Last generation didn't have the internet, and FoxNews - a brand, not a source of current event facts - didn't exist.
Essex Eagle 4 years ago
Or CNN or any of the other so called reputable news corporations
Load More Replies... El Dee 4 years ago
The most worrying thing is that many stories just aren't reported. Those who control the news control what you are allowed to know. If you knew more you'd think differently..
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Ever seen "James Bond - Tomorrow never dies"? Because as cheesy as it was, the idea behind it was amazing and still holds truth to this day!
Load More Replies... #23
Happened to my son in middle school, a kid sucker punched my son. My son then fought back and pinned the kid against the wall ( he has long arms) and punched him a few times. The school called me and my wife and told us our son was suspended. We went to the school and they said even though multiple witnesses as well as the kid said he threw the first punch that the school had a zero tolerance policy so our son would be suspended. We asked what the school believed our son should have done and they said he should just walk away. We told them that he would not be receiving any punishment at home and that the policy was f**ked up.
Guido Pisano 4 years ago
I thaught to mine not to attack for first. But to defend themselves (and others if needed). So if they beat someone for self (or other) defence no punishment
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I have done that twice. My daughter got suspended on two occasions for defending herself and she didn’t get into trouble at home. We have told her that if she hurts another kid in self defence then she just gets some time off school. If she is the instigator then she loses privileges.
I'm ~*tired*~ 4 years ago
omg i was on the other side of it. this kid had a metal thermos i n his lunch box and was constantly hitting me with is so i put my foot out to stop it and got suspended. wtf vice principal dombrowski!
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 4 years ago
I agree. But my son's school took it a step further. A kid attacked my son, my son fought back and won. The principal said the attacker had a 3 day out of school suspension, my son had a one day in school suspension..and that the kids that stood there and did nothing or encouraged the fighting were all suspended in school for a day. As they put it, my son got a suspension to teach him fighting of any kind is wrong and the kids that did nothing got suspended because you don't ignore someone when they are in trouble...you get help.
pusheen buttercup 4 years ago
I agree, it's self defense when adults do it, but not children...? Walking away doesn't always work, they will just see you again tomorrow. Going to a teacher doesn't always work, sometimes that makes it worse. If no one else is there and there's no way out you must defend yourself.
Vasana Phong 4 years ago
Nowadays, rules like this needs to be tweaked, an overall picture of how the outcome would’ve been, so the kid walks away, the other kid might follow him still hitting him, the next day he gets laughed at ridicule for walking away- then what happens next- use your imagination, it happens more common now a days, if that happened to my son I would’ve reacted the same way as that parent.
BlueReaper 4 years ago
@Punished Edward, you’re wrong. The policy is f****d up because it’s teaching children to not stand up for themselves or others. Use common sense next time.
Matheus Oliveira 4 years ago
De-escalating situations should be something schools teach instead of just having archaic imposed policies. BTW, how can suspension actually help someone?
Melanie King 4 years ago
I remember when my sister was getting bullied in 2nd grade, a boy would poke her, hit her, etc. and she never did anything, so one day she told my dad and my dad said "hit him back" so the next time he touched her, she punched him several times and the school wanted to get her in trouble for it. My parents told the school she wasn't going to get in trouble because he started it. We've always been taught to never throw the first punch but don't be afraid to defend ourselves.
Melanie King 4 years ago
Btw it turned out he had issues at home and was taking it out on her, but the school finally got involved and they actually had to change his recess time just so he wouldn't be able to bully her anymore
Load More Replies... #24
I think what we're not taught is more harmful. For example the fact that we never learn (at least in my country) how to fact check things.
Aurelia! 4 years ago
so true, here in the US, our education system is MESSED UP we need to rethink how and what we teach our children
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
I am an alum of US education and we def learned how to fact check things. Had a whole history class on evaluating texts.
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Kira Okah 4 years ago
Our school taught us about fact checking but not about something that is really important in the process - source bias. University taught me that one. Every source has a bias, even ones you don't think about like wikipedia. Research the item, but also research the sources.
arrufem 4 years ago
Is there any people that thinks that wikipedia is not biased? Really??
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Skulduggery Pheasant 4 years ago
We also need to learn about all the problems in the world, and how to help stop them. Just pretending the world is just all sunshine and rainbows with a few bad things won't help anyone.
El Dee 4 years ago
'Fact Checking' is more difficult than we would all like to think. Just who IS a 'trusted source' You cannot simply accept that one of them is. As best as you can do is to read the same story from different country's media - one with the 'opposing' view. The elephant in the room is where news is simply NOT reported..
Laugh or not 4 years ago
I remember lessons in my history classes about the use of propaganda by different gouvernements or how the teaching of history changes according to the times. Or in science classes, lessons on how politics and beliefs influence something that should be only fact-based.
Even leaving the house to get your blood flowing is a great step toward learning a new skill. What’s more, feeling envy toward someone who’s good at a particular skill or particularly learned is a good way to get yourself motivated to strive for more.
“Do not worry if you are taking that first step as simply something you’re doing thanks to social pressure, or for someone other than yourself. Change is change—the motivation doesn’t matter,” Lenore told Bored Panda.
Lenore believes that we should always be questing to learn more about the world while verifying whether or not something is actually true. That means navigating the world of false claims and fake news.
#25
That everybody is a winner. No. Losing and disappointments are part of life and they are integral to your growth both emotionally and socially. We have a lot of people who enter the real world who have been told they are deserving of things just because and cannot take rejections and losses in their personal and professional lives with any grace whatsoever. This is also resulting in mediocrity being accepted as a norm cos nobody wants to call out ineptitude. While the hard work and dedication being put in by people who do end up in good positions are being played down. It's a little harsh but it's true. Kids gotta learn how to lose before they can truly start to win. That's the only way being gracious in victory will ever come about.
troufaki13 4 years ago
Participation trophies may lead to giving no effort at all in my opinion. Why would someone try if they're going to get praised anyway? Embrace failure, learn from it and if you want to succeed you can try harder next time :)
Henry Cheves 4 years ago
Yeah, older generations didn't have nice coaches, so participation trophies were invented so kids wouldn't think they were bad for losing. But now too much encouragement is being given, so participation trophies are bad.
Load More Replies... Soviet_catto 4 years ago
The harder you fall, the higher you'll bounce back. Failure is what drives change.
arrufem 4 years ago
Heressy! The political correct people, the new theories, the woke culture will burn you life for saying that.
Load More Replies... Craig Reynolds 4 years ago
Participation trophies only lead to a false sense of entitlement and major disappointment later in life when they can't just have things how they want/demand.
Mónica Elisabeth Sacco 4 years ago
That eagerness for triumph, trophies, victories. Kids aren't soldiers to win a war. They must learn frustration. Frustration is a great teacher: you learn how to do it better next time. And nobody is allowed to shame you for this.
pusheen buttercup 4 years ago (edited)
So true. Also sometimes winning and losing is nuanced but we never teach that. You lost- but did you learn? You won- but did it cost you?
El muerto 4 years ago
teach my kid...do your best whether you lose or not...a trophies means nothing in the long run, but effort make you grow...we all have that friend that still brags about that one time he/she came first, but in the end it didn't make difference
arrufem 4 years ago
If there is only a job, if there is only one possibility to sell what you do... trophies are important. And life works in that way. I only eat one meal a day, and I choose the one that most adjust to my will. The second-runner restaurant does not get a buck from me.
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Jackie Porter 4 years ago
It's all the losing that makes winning all the more sweeter when it happens.
El Dee 4 years ago
I don't think this is true, that this is some kind of new problem. Mediocrity is a problem of the past. We expect ever more from the younger generations, higher qualifications, experience for entry level positions. Life made ever harder..
arrufem 4 years ago
mediocrity is the reality of the present in many western societies. Do not be surprised when Asia completely surpasses us in every field
Load More Replies... #26
Kids are starting social media so early these days, and I think that’s very dangerous because it puts a lot of pressure on the kid to attribute their worth to their social media success. I also think parents are way too open with their social media when it comes to their kids, and it’s totally a violation of the child’s privacy, of which some parents will never admit
Rakjell Hanwell 4 years ago
My 'favorite mum was the one who wouldn't allow the nursery school I worked in to take any photos of their child (making her child the only one who didn't get a memory book and learning portfolio) and screamed at me, because I (a man) was helping her daughter get dressed after she peed herself (she never objected to me doing so in advance and knew, that was one of my duties). She herself then proceeded to post hundreds of pictures of her daughter, including nude swimming pool photos, on facebook.
Toujin C'Thlu 4 years ago
She sounds like a hypocrite, and I feel sorry for her daughter...
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Carol Emory 4 years ago
The other thing that bothers me is when parents have their kids linked to their facebook page so that the kids can see all the adult rated material that they share with their friends or so that the kids can see the arguing and bickering that takes place between family. Small kids are like sponges...they absorb everything...and they blurt it back out at the most inappropriate times. If it's not something you want your kid to repeat..then don't open them up to it.
Misha the Multitasker 4 years ago
I have an opinion on this way of thinking as well. Yes, I agree that social media can affect children or teenagers negatively, but it can also help a child grow by facing problems such as cyber-bullying when to know that you have enough screen time, and more. It also helps minors learn about things that you might be uncomfortable talking with them about. If you are still uncomfortable letting your child have a social media account, whether it's Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, then the best options are to either stubbornly keep them away from the internet or to limit their time or not allow them to post things, only view other people's accounts.
Mimi777 4 years ago
My boyfriend and I have a toddler and we don’t post or share anything about her on social media. We’ve asked other family to do the same. We don’t really use social media like FB, IG, etc anyways. I just use bored panda and buzzfeed. Some parents post totally inappropriate pictures of their kids online and I feel bad for the kids. Those pictures are out there forever.
Ruth mieras 4 years ago
I really feel that the kid won't appreciate that their mom posted naked pictures of them on social media when they're older
Scarlett Fox 4 years ago
We don't post photos of our son to social media for this exact reason - it's a total violation of his privacy.
FloridaMan 4 years ago
honestly i HATE tiktok when i had it it taught me about you know at the age of 9! GOSH! my childhood is still traumatized because i understand dark humor
#27
Bullies are only bullies because they feel insecure about themselves and you should sympathize with them. **k that, if someone is being s****y to you then they don't deserve your sympathy.
Clare McDuff 4 years ago
I completely agree. 9 times out of 10 there’s a reason behind the poor behaviour. Teach your child that the bully’s behaviour is not acceptable but there might be a reason behind it.
Load More Replies... Carol Emory 4 years ago
I found that most bullies are that way because they get the same s****y treatment at home. I had that happen between me and a girl who bullied me in elementary school. Turned out her mom was an alcoholic and treated her like crap. Her and I met again in high school. I knew her story by then, her mother was no longer in the picture. She apologized, we talked and became friends. Kids try to be naturally good...it's the parents that interfere...
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
" Kids try to be naturally good...it's the parents that interfere..." <--- so much this! I'm really sad about some of the posts here, that say kids would only learn to be selfish or lazy or whatnot, when that's just not true. Most kids are empathetic and wll easily learn that being kind is more rewarding than being mean, but so often, what they are taught and shown at home ruins their souls and they have to re-learn social interaction when they're older. Instead of expensive therapy, it would be a lot better to have good social-work and education and child-care.
Load More Replies... Don't Look 4 years ago
I had to learn this the hardest way imaginable. I had to divorce a bully.
Jan Smith 4 years ago
PUNISHED EDWARD. after seeing your profile, as you think this is the 'worst page ever' why do you spend most of your day on it making deluded comments?
Plane Lover 4 years ago
Everywhere I go punished Edward is lurking in the shadows spitting out rude comments to everyone
Load More Replies... Tabby_Sohee 4 years ago
This is just my opinion, (I’m a teenager) but most bullies really do bully others because they want to feel higher up than them, and that they have real insecurity problems. Now, that does NOT mean that you have to sympathize with them. Why should you be sorry for someone who hurt you? But lots of times, if you’re being bullied, it helps for you NOT to make a mistake and be put in the wrong to just think, “well, I’m the better person here, and I’m not gonna be like them” and then just tell an adult. It helps, I promise. This way, you won’t believe whatever the bully has to say to you.
Roselyn Park 4 years ago
I wish I’d had your level of emotional maturity at the same age. I didn’t really figure that one out until I was well into my 30’s.
Load More Replies... Paradise 4 years ago
I would tell kids the person is probably insecure and may have a bad home life, and they are letting it out on you, and that is wrong. You can understand without validating their actions or being their friend. I had a kid in my care who was just not a nice kid himself often, cry many times as he felt to be a victim. I don't dispute that. But he would get so angry he kept saying he would do it back to them, etc. I worried he would become a school shooter when older. He was violent, even with me pregnant. I was on maternity leave when my boss had removed him from program (kids get passed around, not good, but you have to protect other kids and staff, too). His sister remained in program. His parents were awesome. Mom came to me a couple of years later, said he turned things around and has been so good, and they all credited me for it, not my boss or coworker, but me. Kinda odd...I don't really know what I did. But I guess something I did or said eventually I hit home for him.
"When you’re reading an article that seems to be so shocking that you’re amazed this is the first time you’re hearing about it, take a short phrase from the piece and Google it. If something strikes you as fishy, go fishing," she said.
"As for whether or not your fishing will lead you to disinformation rather than the truth, try not to fish blindly. If you’re curious about crime stats, for instance, look these up on a government website, not some random blog," she explained. Checking websites like Snopes to see if some shocking stories are real or not is a good move.
#28
Not owning up to their mistakes or blaming them on others.
Caroline 4 years ago
A lot of children nowadays are not accepting responsibilities. It's always someone else's fault. It makes me mad, especially as it's not just kids who do this, but society in general.
arrufem 4 years ago
100% agree with you. That is not only kids, it is also many people. Just read here to find so many people here like Foxy
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Eshaa Venkatesh 4 years ago
My husband's parents never got the memo! Their entire family is guilty of this. They make excuses for every silly little f**k up they do, it is so immature.
Romery Wells 4 years ago
my mom always gets mad at me for the most stupid sh*t. sometimes i feel like she just blames everything on me
Celtic Pirate Queen 4 years ago
It's important to teach kids that EVERYONE makes mistakes: parents, teachers (Presidents) because we're human beings and not robots. If you make a mistake tell someone so you can fix it.
Ericka Hokkanen 4 years ago
That is honesty and we see so little of it today. Teach that they should not lie!!!
ZenChickChristine 4 years ago
This one right here has caused incredible harm to my stepdaughters. They were already adults when I married their Dad. This was (and still is) reinforced by their mother and it’s so painful to watch them spin because they can’t see their part in their own unhealthy cycles. One of the two is starting to make some headway. I hope they can both break free of this.
Kennedy Ondimu 4 years ago
Good article for parents. In #17 you mention how great your were not being born in an "African staving family" ....I think starvation is a world problem and not just an African one...this sounds like stereotyping and insensitive to me.
Vasana Phong 4 years ago
Classic downfall towards adulthood in any scenario. Own it, move forward, don’t do again, move forward, apologize on the way if needed:)
#29
Children do learn about sex at a young age, it just isn’t usually in a productive way. I know I did. My own experience: questions like this are why I believe in being infinitely clear with my kids….”you are going to hear total [nonsense] from other kids. If you hear something you don’t understand, come talk to me. You can ask me anything and expect a decent answer.” And I would give examples of the total [nonsense] I had heard as a kid, most of which would result in pregnancy. Son, age 6. Daughter, age 7. Riding home from school: daughter says “Tiffany said she had sex with my brother.” Which left me a grand total of 3 minutes to gather my wits before we got home. OK, do you guys know what sex is? Blank looks. Sex is when you take off all of your clothes and rub privates together. You can make babies that way. Looks of shock and disgust. Do you think your brother had sex with Tiffany? Nooo! I think she was using a really bad way of trying to say she likes him, and maybe she watches the wrong TV shows where if people like each other they always have sex. Were my kids really ready for a sex talk? No, not really. They didn’t care. Did we really need to have one about then? Yep. My job as a parent is to be there to put things that come up in context for them, not run around after them deciding what and when they need to know things.
nanashi 4 years ago
I believe when a kid starting to ask about sex, no matter what age, you the adult should explain it age appropriately. don't avoid it. don't mix with fantasy/myth/BS. just use the language level that they would understand.
Dale 4 years ago
Right at age 6 there is no reason to go into explicit detail but age appropriate explanation is perfectly acceptable.
Load More Replies... Paradise 4 years ago
I had to recently talk to my almost 8 year old more about sex than I previously have. But I started at 3 when she first asked, as I did my youngest. I always use real terms, and was open with questions. She doesn't have too many. She just had a situation or two where I felt it was warranted to talk more about sex and body changes. I was hoping to wait until she was maybe 10, and still hopefully discuss it faster than she would from other kids. But nope. And she was not phased and I have no idea how much set in.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
I was ten. Got the same talk as my 15-year-old sister. Didn't slow her down, but put a dead stop on me for about 10 years! Of course, my mom explained the relative size of an erect male versus a female vaginal opening, and now you know why I was once voted Most Likely to Become A Nun.
Misha the Multitasker 4 years ago
The best way for your kid to learn about sex is the 'worst' way for some parents. Hand them a device with no appropriateness or time limits, then leave them with it until you notice a change in their behavior. Like maybe they feel less like a child. Could be puberty, but another cause of this behavior is learning about things. If you know what I mean. This way, you never have to talk about it until you are sure both of you are comfortable, and if they turn out not to have watched or read something, then in due time they will learn. This is how I learned, and I didn't have to face the trauma of awkwardness. Also, when you think the time is right, ask your child directly if they know the specifics of what it is. Not only in the scientific way, but also in the 'dirty' way. Tell them you will not judge them. If your child knows, great! Congrats! But if they don't, discuss it with them in both the scientific and 'dirty' way.
Forty Seven Pandas 4 years ago
I'm so confused. What do you mean by a device? Are you talking about sex toys?
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Linda Holder 4 years ago
My 3-year-old and I were watching a nature show about animal babies. As they worked their way through the animal kingdom, I thought it would be a good time to start the conversation about where babies come from. Marsupials (kangaroos) were being shown, and I knew mammals would be next, so I said, "You know, you came from mommy's body like this." She looked at me wide-eyed and said, "Did I used to be a kangaroo?"
Joley Hidaka 4 years ago
If YOU don't teach your kids about sex, someone else will...someone else who may have an agenda....don't let that happen to your children!
Romery Wells 4 years ago
i learned EVERYTHING to do with s*x in grade 5. and the pictures were very detailed. (the pictures were in a textbook, not the internet)
Mónica Elisabeth Sacco 4 years ago
Kids usually don't ask more than they want to know. One thing is "where do babies come from" and another is detailed how-to.
#30
How to internalize stress and implode as teens and adults.
Siah avis 4 years ago
And teach them how to let someone know they are uncomfortable. Like how to approach someone in a position higher than you to tell them youre not ok with something.
Chenandoa 4 years ago
No one has ever thought me "healthy" anger release. Either I calm down (unlikely), or absolutely explode to the point of searching for SOMETHING inanimate and cheap to destroy. I may seem to calm down, but I'm just shimmering...tour next interuptiok into my thoughts may make me yell loud enough to scare he cats.
Carrie Roettger 4 years ago
I've spent so many years doing that from right before my 13th birthday when my dad died up to even now. I was told by SO many people to "be a good girl for your mon, she's going through a rough time". Only 1 single person ever asked me how I was doing. So, I kept it to myself until I was about 17 when I just broke down and ended up becoming agoraphobic. My mom never got beyond the denial stage of her grief and I never got to grieve properly at all because I was just supposed to carry on like I always had. I still internalize a lot because I figure no one really wants to hear it.
Ericka Hokkanen 4 years ago
How to be angry in a constructive way that gets rid of the anger without taking it out on any people or exploding at people just because you are mad about something
#31
“She’s younger than you, just let it go.” “Can’t you be more compassionate? Your the older one here in this situation" “ She’s a little child, she doesn’t know any better” Absolutely hate this information that was drilled into me since I was a kid
Isobella GOURLAY 4 years ago
My little sister is 4 years younger than me. At age 8, If I teased my sisters I got in big trouble. At her age 8, if she said something really mean and kept doing it, she would be let off punishment. Why? Because she's younger than you and hasn't learned yet. I cannot wait until I can actually get out of my house.
Bow, I’m a Slytherin 4 years ago
Hm... maybe in certain families the oldest is treated like the most important, but in my experience, the youngest gets away with everything, whereas the oldest can’t even send their friends a text without the parent getting angry and demanding to see it.
Load More Replies... Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I disagree. I say those things to my daughter but I also acknowledge my sons behaviour and don’t make excuses for it. The fact is a young kid is not as developed as a teen, so in many cases the younger child doesn’t know any better or understand but an older kid should/does. I guess context plays a part.
Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
What I really hate is when it's said in f r o n t of the child. My mom, when I was a lot younger, would always say things to my older siblings like, "Shh, just ignore her until she does what she was told/xyz happens." or "She doesn't know what she's talking about, you should just ignore her." and things like that. It always enraged me further.
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ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago
So kids shouldn't be held accountable for murder?
Load More Replies... #32
Teaching them to respect authority instead of learning to freely question everything
Rissie 4 years ago
How about understand authority and its use and still question everything, also your own desire to question it. Like for instance, what will it bring me or the world if I have this discussion about something arbitrary just because I don't accept your authority as a cashier at Walmart just doing your job versus how many stupid things can one president do before I accept that he is not fit.
FloridaMan 4 years ago
my mom does not do this in religion in my religion our book was made 40 years after our prophet died so who knows who ruled the religion and a lot of people have changed it for their benefit like in our book someone changed it to say that women should cover themselves or that you should fear god so i dont believe the things that have been changed all i believe is that you do good then your going to heaven bad you go to hell but what I REALLY DONT LIKE is that some people will go saying their god or that someone changes the book to say all other religions will go to hell, conclusion: do good = go to heaven do bad = go to hell
#33
The lie that life is fair and things happen for benevolent, valid reasons. Then we let them get burned and figure it out themselves.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I hate that some schools, sports events etc no longer have winning or losing teams and only give out participation trophy’s, ribbons etc. Fact of life is that some people are going to be be more successful. Awarding everyone just for participating isn’t going to build resilience in these kids to deal with the real world.
Fives 4 years ago
Yeah and also its not about winning its about taking part.
Load More Replies... Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
The kids I teach (elementary-school, age 6-10) often come to me and complain that someone has something they want. "I wanted the yellow one!" and I'll say "And I wanted a pony. Life is not fair, so how about you take a different colour?" I'm not quite sure if that is the best way to teach them, but I like telling them that even adults don't always get what they want.
FloridaMan 4 years ago
my mom taught me all my childhood that life isnt fair, this is why i wanted to go to a psychologist at the age of 9
Rissie 4 years ago
Christianity is giving it a toss. Be good so God likes you and when he kills your kid with leukemia, he had his reasons. Pretty forked up thinking.
Load More Replies... #34
You do not have to play with everyone. There is a total lack of social accountability. If Laura is always cheating at tag it’s okay to not let her play. If Little Billy throws sand in the sand box Little Timmy does not have to play with him. Laura and Billy need to learn how to play appropriately.
Rissie 4 years ago
True. Still good to talk to Laura and Billy about their behavior. As the adult supervising. That's the thing with supervising. If you see things getting out of hand, you help them out by showing the how it's done. Forcing others to play with kids like that is just enforcing unwanted behavior. And that will take some time. But don't think shutting out Billy and Laura is the way to go. They too need your help.
Stephanie IV 4 years ago (edited)
Kids need space to handle their own differences without adult intervention.
Batgirl Kitty 4 years ago
I agree, but I don’t like that they did that in the beginning of kindergarten where we had not idea how to with no help. Basically we were just left clueless or decided for.
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Tobias the Tiger 4 years ago
I was opposed to the whole "We're all friends" thing in early elementary school for this reason, really.
#35
Going too far on the "find your dream job and it'll never feel like work" stuff. Really messed me up when I wasn't "excited" about uni assignments and thought I had to change degrees
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Even if you do find your dream job doesn’t mean you will excel at it or like it forever.
Soviet_catto 4 years ago
Find your dream job and you'll never work a day in your life. BECAUSE THEY AREN'T HIRING
Carol Emory 4 years ago
I asked a professor as to why he chose Primatology. He said "I didn't. I wanted to be a zoologist, but I was really bad at it. Then I took and Anthropology class and realized that Primatology was a part of that. And darned if I wasn't great at Anthropology! Sometimes you just need to find a compromise."
Ece Cenker 4 years ago
Do not make the mistake of making your pleasures your job. They will be spoiled if you let business mix with them.
Scagsy 4 years ago
I had the 'dream job' as soon as I left school and I hated every minute of it. I'm now 44 and in therapy as a direct result of how bad it was. You might find a job you like and it might have a pleasant atmosphere, stick at it, or you might not and you just keep looking. Life is often over-simplified to kids, when if they were told the facts, they would probably do a better job of processing those facts than most adults.
Gurnox 4 years ago
I have what could be considered a dream job. Don't get me wrong, it's not paying enough for me to live large. But it is in a field I've always loved. So I can say that, for me at least, that statement is absolute BS. Of course it feels like work. In addition to that, it's made me love a field I've loved since I was a child an awful lot less.
#36
School is the only way to be successful and college is a requirement.
Honu 4 years ago
Well, if we're talking "success" as making enough money to be secure, I don't think a university degree is necessary, but it's pretty difficult to get a good job without finishing high school and having some post-secondary education. It doesn't have to be university, but getting some sort of trade or professional education after high school is definitely an easier path to a living wage job.
CowboyHank 4 years ago
School is the only way to be successful. In our current society, you will not be a successful person unless you have a high school diploma or its equivalent.
Eric Lafleur 4 years ago
Funny how this one is wrong. I know a lot of college and university graduates that have jobs not even closely related to their studies.
#37
This is more at a highschool level, but that trade schools or learning a trade is a lessor option compared to a standard college degree. Trade schools and learning a skilled trade need just as much emphasis as a college degree. Along those same lines, collage (or trade school) show be treated as a busy investment. Time should be taken for kids/teens to examine how long it will take to repay their schooling and if that degree is worth the money. Especially now with previous generation living longer and staying in the job market longer. Combined with more and more people graduating with degrees, there is more supply and the demand is not growing evenly in all areas of expertise.
Carol Emory 4 years ago
Also...I went to a four year college. Got 3 Bachelors degrees. Couldn't get a job. I went to a community college for 2 years...now I'm employed and making more money than I ever have.
GirlFriday 4 years ago
I love this. Two of nephews entered trades rather than going to college and it was the best thing for them. They aren't the studious type, they are more outdoorsy and were never going to be suit and tie types. Trade programs opened the world to them.
Rissie 4 years ago (edited)
The thing is, we don't want to hand out participation trophies, and do acknowledge some are better at things then others, but we do mind if people are judged for learning something that mostly takes time but could be achieved by almost anyone. It's a painful truth if you look at it like that. I believe everything just is. It's all affecting each other. You need inspiration (because how useful is someone being really good at a sport or music other wise) and people doing the actual work to get somewhere. No winners without participants to begin with, and no participants without anything to win. We do let the things get out of hand when it comes to the extreme though...
Ms.GB 4 years ago
Most college degrees take time but can be learned by almost anyone if they put the work in.
Load More Replies... #38
You show me respect first because I’m an adult and have authority then I choose whether I should show you respect no other way!
Katherine Boag 4 years ago
Sometimes people confuse respecting people as a person and respecting people as an authority, and they say 'respect me as an authority or i wont respect you as a person', and they think they're being fair, but they aren't.
Camille Graves 4 years ago (edited)
Wise words, but this statement is almost word-for-word from a popular Reddit post.
Load More Replies... Alethia Nyx 4 years ago
There is a big difference between being respectful towards someone, and respecting them. You should behave respectfully towards people, doesn't mean you have to respect them.
Eric Lafleur 4 years ago
You can respect the man but still only "show" respect to a title, position or rank. The latter is worth nothing compared to the former.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Respect is earned, not inherited. You behave in a way that people can respect you, then you deserve all the respect you get (and sometimes more than you get). But fear is not equal to respect. People seem to mix them up. A battered kid might fear their father and behave submissively, but once the fear is gone (because of age, because of strength, because of moving away... whatever), there is nothing left. If you are respected by your child because you clearly did your best and treated them fairly and appropriately, you will be respected into old age. And don't mess up love with this! Children (small ones at least) WILL love their parents, no matter how shitty they are. There is no respect in love.
#39
History from a single perspective. I am a history teacher and I firmly believe one of the most damaging things schools do is teach history from a single perspective, especially a euro-centric one. It just isn't how history works and causes lots of issues for any person/group who doesn't share that single perspective. P.S. teaching what I call "great man" history is almost as bad. History was made by more than presidents, inventors, and celebrities. Teaching only about significant figure after significant figure minimizes the impact of the 99.99999999% of the population that isn't super famous.
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Its real easy to include texts, videos or other information about women, people of color or from the opposite sides of conflicts in history curriculum.
Load More Replies... Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
For example, Martin Luther King Jr. was a great man and did extremely honorable things, however he also hired prostitutes and things like that. I think they should teach history--especially history about individual people, such as Martin Luther King Jr.--from all/most perspectives. Also this doesn't mean MLK was a bad person, you should have much respect for him and don't you ever insult him-
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Oskar Schindler saved more than thousand Jews from being deported to death-camps. He still was a spy for Nazi-Germany and profited from being a Nazi and was a gambler and womanizer before he became so disgusted with the treatments of the Jews that he changed so saving (his) people was more important to him than profits. Nobody in the world is ALL GOOD.
Load More Replies... #40
Political views, at ages that children are really too young to understand them. They just spout off their parents thoughts
Rissie 4 years ago
Ah, Edward is a troll! Sorry, his comment was removed, but it finally dawned on me ;)
xHinatax 4 years ago
Oh man this is a funny one for me. I work with children and there’s one that’s very vocal he’s five. So one day I was with him and his class and he kept asking me who did I vote for? The options were stinky Trump or Joe Biden. I couldn’t help to snicker at the stinky Trump remark but I gave him a very nice reply that I hadn’t voted yet and he told me to consider to not vote for stinky Trump. Had to ask why he called him stinky.He told me he just looks stinky. Kids are great.
chi-wei shen 4 years ago
In general, you shouldn't burden children with problems they cannot handle.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 4 years ago
Eh... Not so sure. It really depends on what the politics entail. If you are supporting a party that wants equality (as much as possible) and social justice and is basically focused on treating people well, yes, please, DO teach your children that and make sure they know why you support the party you do. Once they reach voting-age, they'll understand on their own and decide on their own, anyway. But do not indoctrinate them by just teaching them the other parties are the devil and only YOUR party tells the truth. I think it comes down to always teach your children to be able to form their own opinions, and how they can find information that will help them. Also - always teach your children to be kind to everyone (with appropriate amounts of caution, of course). I think that covers most of the bases
#41
Being discouraged to speak up about illness's because it makes them weird/ somethings wrong with them. They talk about like, You need therapy, which isnt a bad concept and you probably do need it, but they picture it in such a bad light.
Iðunn Ýr The Icelandic Panda 4 years ago
And all other as well. For exmpl. ADHD, autsm (do I write it right?), MS, being mentaly chalenced and more.
Load More Replies...
El Dee 4 years ago
I remember things being spoken about in hushed tones as a child and certain words (like cancer) being totally off limits. Mental health was never, EVER discussed at all. We are still on our way to improving this and there is still stigma on mental health and if you have EVER had a mental health problem you are regarded as 'lesser' as 'broken' and unreliable forever more. Worse your own doctor will, when you come in with literally ANY symptom, bring it up and try and put it down to that..
#42
Generally just overprotecting them from the outside world. Kids that are raised in such a way have a hard time when they go out into real life.
Stephanie IV 4 years ago
Parents are in a quandary. They’re blamed for quite a bit. I understand the need to try and be perfect, protective, assertive, liberal, friendly etc.
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
Underprotection doesn't generally lead to great outcomes either.
Iðunn Ýr The Icelandic Panda 4 years ago (edited)
Uuufffhh... This. I know I tended to overprotect my son when he was younger.. I tend to do it for every one I love, even my grown up niece. It took my now husband to point it out, for me to see it. It is really hard to chance this. Expecially because he is on the spectrum and has ADHD. So now, we are focusing on getting him ready. He is 13 today. It truly is not easy to let go. -Overprotecting is, I think, also for the parent, it is so hard to see those we love, in pain. So we overprotect out of fear, forgetting that you have to feel pain in life in order too grow.
#43
In a nasty divorce, the parents may only talk about each other’s bad qualities and the kid(s) may have an issue/issues with their parents.
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
Don’t speak ill of your child’s other parent, it is not your place.
eimipet 4 years ago
Well—my parents each speak badly of each other (to me) alllllllll the time but they aren’t divorced
Load More Replies... #44
“The issue is that kids are told what’s important, not how to evaluate what’s important. Are grades important? Sure, but why do they care? You don’t need a 4.0 from a crippling pricey college to get a good job that will allow you to live the lifestyle you want. Is money important? Sure, but what so you need money for? You don’t need to work yourself to death to save for retirement and live a lifestyle that makes you happy. Are friends important? Sure, but you don’t need to be a social butterfly with huge parties every weekend. If you’ve got a few people you like to spend time with, don’t worry about it. Are material things important? Yeah, at a certain point, you do need some stuff to lead the lifestyle you want. But you don’t need the nicest car, newest phone, most exclusive clothes, or the best-decorated apartment. The key is decide what life you want to live, and wrap your choices around it unapologetically, and that’s a tricky thing to figure out, and it has to be personal. No one can make that decision for you, even if they can give you valuable advice on how to get there."
Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
I've already completed this--I know that I want to be an author, so I make all of my educational and major life choices based on that. XD
Rissie 4 years ago
These are reasoned from a frustrated young adult's pov. No parent reasons about whether or not a mediocre lifestyle is wanted or not. Talking to a four year old about what they truly want in life. We hope for more for our kids. If we didn't, as a species, we wouldn't get anywhere. So suck it up and roll with the punches. You got your big boy/girl pants now.
FloridaMan 4 years ago
I did plan out MY ENTIRE LIFE and if i dont graduate from m.i.t IM GONNA BE CONFUSED
#45
Basically all those s**t social media influencers that teach young people that it's all about money and brand names
#46
If you have a different opinion than someone, you hate them and that's wrong.
Rissie 4 years ago
Oh. I've thought about this one. Most people mostly feel things. As in what's right or wrong. So if they take a subject and actually start to reason about it and maybe come to a conclusion because of that, they still feel like everything is connected. So if you reason beyond that and disagree, they feel you disagree with everything you feel. When in fact it's merely this actively reasoned point. It takes some practice to get over that
#47
I personally hate when I hear parents telling their kids white lies to stop them from doing something
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I disagree with this somewhat. Sometimes white lies are a necessary evil, especially of the real explanation is not age appropriate for example.
Rissie 4 years ago
Because sometimes the frustration that comes with being totally blunt just isn't going anywhere. I'm sorry honey, but your brain is still underdeveloped and that is why you want a monkey for your birthday. It is physically not possible for us to keep a monkey in our home and you, the three year old, will now listen to me and accept this fact. In stead of a will see and let them forget about it in a second.
#48
Giving the kids anything they want without them working to get what they want. Also, telling the kids all their problems will magically go away in time, without them doing nothing.
FloridaMan 4 years ago
i guess i agree with this because if you do that it will make them spoiled but dont neglect them. sure give them gifts on christmas or their birthday give them food and water but the rest they do on their own thats my childhood
eimipet 4 years ago
I mean, I think it’s fine to cook meals for us (kids), but occasionally we can make soup for lunch, or instant oatmeal for breakfast, etc
Load More Replies... #49
that its ok to take your anger out on other people and that everyone should have social media and compare themselves to those who look "better"
chi-wei shen 4 years ago
A former co-worker once told me whenever she had a frustrating day at the office she goes grocery shopping before going home and takes her anger out on some supermarket employee. Then she is relaxed when arriving at home. She was an adult woman in her forties and didn't understand what's wrong with this behaviour.
Tame panda 4 years ago
How some 40 year old don't understand this? Did she found out the truth or continued it?
Load More Replies... 
Commander OwO 4 years ago
Risky because sometimes the kids can sit on their feelings and never let it show
#50
That the world outside your house is a scary and dangerous place. In the United States, it is largely not. Let them explore without fear.
Aurelia! 4 years ago
Depends on who you are...sadly. Of course, living in the US, myself and the people around me are so privileged and have so much, but still, the US can be quite dangerous (I'm thinking racial violence, violence against women, etc.) and teaching children a certain amount of fear is a necessary step to keeping them safe :(
Hugo Raible 4 years ago
Not to an extent which is significant. Cases of all of that exist, but they are much rarer than you've been made to believe. The same with the dangers of flying in a plane (almost none) or life-threatening adverse effects of vaccines.
Load More Replies... Rissie 4 years ago
US infrastructure really made the outside world quite the unfortunate and dangerous place. For kids and adults alike. Don't get me wrong, other designs fail.too, but the focus on driving is taken to such an extent that you can not have a ten year old get to some activity on their own. Being outside is not just about playing in the neighborhood, it's more about getting places you want to be.
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What do you think ?
Rakjell Hanwell 4 years ago
As a nursery school teacher I want to add a lie, we always tell parents: that they are the 'experts' for their own child. No. The 'Expert' for your child is your child. They know, what is best for them. They might have difficulties voicing it, but it is our job to help them translate. Sure, kids love to do risky things, but not because they don't know what is good for them, but because they don't know much about the world yet. If a kid tells you, that they want to jump down the Niagara falls, what they are telling you probably is: 'I want to explore', 'I want to be somewhere high up and see the world from a new perspective' 'Or I want to go to the water'. They tell you, which learning experiences at that moment would benefit their development. We then have to translate it into something safe. ('Maybe we should jump from the tower in the local swimming pool first?')
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 4 years ago
"They know what is the best for them". If would depend on my kids 5 and 3 they would watch cartoons all day long and eat only pasta Bolognese and pizza. I don't know how to translate this into something "useful /healthy"
Load More Replies...
ST4WBeRRi FrOg 4 years ago
I have one...Telling kids that being part of the lgbtq+ is bad or you shouldn't be an allie.. this in my opinion is dumb because kids are young and are still trying to find themselfs I'm non-binary who grew up in a lgbtq+phobic household and when I then figured out myself I got really scared and upset because I thought if I told my family they would get pissed ( which they did) which led me into deppression. also saying kids wont understand lgbtq+ and are doing for a trend please kids are saying they n word for no reason and cussing ,starting good protests. please kids know things about the world and if a kid is lgbtq+ you might not agree I cant force you too but please respect it.
ST4WBeRRi FrOg 4 years ago
Also Cischet people can be apart of the LGBTQ+ Straight Asexuals and Aromantics.
Load More Replies...
Cynthia Bonville 4 years ago
Something we need to tell children and adults is that parents are not perfect, they are very imperfect - but as human beings they are striving to work on that. Ideally they have improved on how their parents raised them and their children will do more so if they have children. I have generational trauma that my father survived, while he did not visit it on us there were other things (his trauma leaking out making him kind of weird), I know I will do the same but we acknowledge it in our family. There is something I will unknowingly pass on, while I can't stop that I can admit that it's probably there and make room for more healing.
Piet Puk 4 years ago
Children should be free from religion. I never understood how some parents could dictate their children what to believe.
Oerff On Tour 4 years ago
Reminds me of "Religion is like a penis. It's ok to have it. It's even ok to be proud of it. But it's NOT ok to talk about it all the time. AND IT'S DEFINITELY NOT OK TO SHOVE IT DOWN OUR CHILDREN'S THROATS "
Load More Replies... Lilith the Demon Panda 4 years ago
is it just me or is this server getting more and more f****d up every day? replies appearing under wrong comments, comments disappearing randomly when clicked on "view more comments/replies", upvoting and downvoting doesn't work at all...
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Yes! Comments are wrong, the downvoted ones are at the top....I'm glad it's not just me!
Load More Replies... Chenandoa 4 years ago
One thing I would like to add: yes, teach your child to entertain themselves, but also spend time with them. My mom was SOOO pleased I left her alone (happily) while she worked on her master's. However, I remeber feeling sad at times because she was too busy for me to show her my puzzle, or whatever. Now, I am struggling to figure out how to entertain myself, and when I ask my mom (who has nothing to do but sit and worry all day) to play a bored game with me, or something time consuming, or even to just let me read a fiction book out loud to her, she almost always refuses...and I feel she has no interesting in doing something together. In fact, just 5 years ago, a request to do something with her was usually answered with "let's take a nap". I have literally napped ONCE since I was younger than 3.
Monica Pryts 4 years ago
Stop telling them that Covid is a cold and that face masks will kill them.
soniacccccccccc 4 years ago
the one thing parents must not teach their children is that illnesses are bad and are things you can use as slang. For example, where I live, all kids (mostly 8 year old boys) love to use the word schizophrenic as an insult. THIS IS NOT OK. WHY? And mental illnesses are also considered funny and stupid. this is not okay and it needs to stop. And no, I am not sexist. It's just the fact that boys here are taught that it's okay to make fun of people. And they are also really pressured by society to be "cool" and use these words. Just so you know, most don't even know what the word means.
Rakjell Hanwell 4 years ago
As a nursery school teacher I want to add a lie, we always tell parents: that they are the 'experts' for their own child. No. The 'Expert' for your child is your child. They know, what is best for them. They might have difficulties voicing it, but it is our job to help them translate. Sure, kids love to do risky things, but not because they don't know what is good for them, but because they don't know much about the world yet. If a kid tells you, that they want to jump down the Niagara falls, what they are telling you probably is: 'I want to explore', 'I want to be somewhere high up and see the world from a new perspective' 'Or I want to go to the water'. They tell you, which learning experiences at that moment would benefit their development. We then have to translate it into something safe. ('Maybe we should jump from the tower in the local swimming pool first?')
Legen ( wait for it ) dary 4 years ago
"They know what is the best for them". If would depend on my kids 5 and 3 they would watch cartoons all day long and eat only pasta Bolognese and pizza. I don't know how to translate this into something "useful /healthy"
Load More Replies... ST4WBeRRi FrOg 4 years ago
I have one...Telling kids that being part of the lgbtq+ is bad or you shouldn't be an allie.. this in my opinion is dumb because kids are young and are still trying to find themselfs I'm non-binary who grew up in a lgbtq+phobic household and when I then figured out myself I got really scared and upset because I thought if I told my family they would get pissed ( which they did) which led me into deppression. also saying kids wont understand lgbtq+ and are doing for a trend please kids are saying they n word for no reason and cussing ,starting good protests. please kids know things about the world and if a kid is lgbtq+ you might not agree I cant force you too but please respect it.
ST4WBeRRi FrOg 4 years ago
Also Cischet people can be apart of the LGBTQ+ Straight Asexuals and Aromantics.
Load More Replies... Cynthia Bonville 4 years ago
Something we need to tell children and adults is that parents are not perfect, they are very imperfect - but as human beings they are striving to work on that. Ideally they have improved on how their parents raised them and their children will do more so if they have children. I have generational trauma that my father survived, while he did not visit it on us there were other things (his trauma leaking out making him kind of weird), I know I will do the same but we acknowledge it in our family. There is something I will unknowingly pass on, while I can't stop that I can admit that it's probably there and make room for more healing.
Piet Puk 4 years ago
Children should be free from religion. I never understood how some parents could dictate their children what to believe.
Oerff On Tour 4 years ago
Reminds me of "Religion is like a penis. It's ok to have it. It's even ok to be proud of it. But it's NOT ok to talk about it all the time. AND IT'S DEFINITELY NOT OK TO SHOVE IT DOWN OUR CHILDREN'S THROATS "
Load More Replies... Lilith the Demon Panda 4 years ago
is it just me or is this server getting more and more f****d up every day? replies appearing under wrong comments, comments disappearing randomly when clicked on "view more comments/replies", upvoting and downvoting doesn't work at all...
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
Yes! Comments are wrong, the downvoted ones are at the top....I'm glad it's not just me!
Load More Replies... Chenandoa 4 years ago
One thing I would like to add: yes, teach your child to entertain themselves, but also spend time with them. My mom was SOOO pleased I left her alone (happily) while she worked on her master's. However, I remeber feeling sad at times because she was too busy for me to show her my puzzle, or whatever. Now, I am struggling to figure out how to entertain myself, and when I ask my mom (who has nothing to do but sit and worry all day) to play a bored game with me, or something time consuming, or even to just let me read a fiction book out loud to her, she almost always refuses...and I feel she has no interesting in doing something together. In fact, just 5 years ago, a request to do something with her was usually answered with "let's take a nap". I have literally napped ONCE since I was younger than 3.
Monica Pryts 4 years ago
Stop telling them that Covid is a cold and that face masks will kill them.
soniacccccccccc 4 years ago
the one thing parents must not teach their children is that illnesses are bad and are things you can use as slang. For example, where I live, all kids (mostly 8 year old boys) love to use the word schizophrenic as an insult. THIS IS NOT OK. WHY? And mental illnesses are also considered funny and stupid. this is not okay and it needs to stop. And no, I am not sexist. It's just the fact that boys here are taught that it's okay to make fun of people. And they are also really pressured by society to be "cool" and use these words. Just so you know, most don't even know what the word means.
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