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While, in theory, childhood is this magical carefree time, where we have a chance to just explore the world and do whatever we want, the fact is that this is just not the case for everyone. Where you were born plays a big part, as well as how much money your family happens to have, but one of the biggest differences might be growing up as a girl, as opposed to a boy.
Someone asked “Women, what do you feel is the hardest part about growing up as a girl?” and female netizens shared their thoughts. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorite posts and be sure to share your own experiences in the comments section below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
We don't get to be carefree little girls for long due to so many men being goddamn predators.
RELATED:
#2
Learning how to deflect unwanted sexual advances from men/relatives from the time you hit puberty.
BoredPossum 1 year ago
I shouldn't have started reading this list. The world is an ugly ugly place!
#3
The day you realize that little boys are treated better than you.
I didn't want to be a girl when I was little. I truly hated being a girl. I didn't want to be a boy either. I didn't have gender issues. I had society issues. It took a long time to realize that me being a girl wasn't the problem. The problem was that every successful person we talked about was a man. The other was that little boys could physically assault little girls, and no one cared. The other was that girls had to play nicely and sit nicely because of our clothes.
The realization that being a girl means moving through the world so differently is devastating.
Alvia Vseobecna 1 year ago
I always shut other similarly minded adults up about these topics. They literally cannot compute what I am saying most of the time and I have to forcefully shut down the topic. This behaviour should not be tolerated.
#4
Body issues… I learned to hate my body at a very young age. In my mid thirties and I’m still struggling to learn to love myself the way I am.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Middle school boys are f*****g ruthless. The guy who started most of my body image issues doesn’t even remember commenting on my body. For him it was just another play practice and for me it was years of insecurities.
Nikole 1 year ago
Middle school girls too. Because we think there’s limited room at the top for women, so we tear each other down.
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Donkey boi 1 year ago (edited)
My mam to my sisters: 'As long as you're healthy and happy, that's all that matters... Don't let anyone tell you that you're not beautiful!'. My Mam to me: 'Would youse put some fecking clothes on!... Chirst you need feeding, boy!... Look at the state of ya!'. Also my mam to me, 'You are the most handsome man in the whole world!'
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
I started hating my body and thinking of myself as "fat" when I was SEVEN. And no, I wasn't a fat kid. Nor was I ugly; looking back at old pictures all I see now is an adorable little girl with sad eyes.
#5
EARLY SEXUALISATION / HARASSMENT -> lifelong trauma and damage. PARENTIFICATION which stunts childs natural development (for example in case of younger siblings girls are required to look after them). WASTED POTENTIAL (not enough spaces to nourish girls talents in science maths chess and IT).
Edit: oh and a f*****g bonus point if you are a girl growing up in a religious family..
Constantly being told your purpose in life is to birth children and be a good wife. 🤮🤮🤮.
#6
The constant mixed signals like the speech in Barbie. Be yourself but not if you’re too loud or girly or not girly or like sex but don’t like it too much. Be smart but able to be dumb at a moment’s notice. Have an opinion but not THAT opinion. Like your body but don’t say it out loud. Always criticize yourself out loud but not just for attention. Be successful but acknowledge all the other people who helped you even if they didn’t. Are you eating that? Again? And that much? Why aren’t you eating? Don’t cry. Cry but only when someone else thinks it’s valid. God you’re a cold b***h don’t you have any emotions? Know everything all the time but don’t let anyone else know that you know. God you’re such a follower. God you’re too independent you know that? I could go on and on and on. It’s exhausting.
#7
The fear / reality of sexual assault.
Oh and periods.
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
Not walking after dark. Carrying pepper spray from my job to my car. Never going to the bathroom alone.
#8
My father once said to me “if you didn’t want to cook and clean, then you shouldn’t have chosen to be born a girl.”
My mistake. .
Johnny McFearless 1 year ago
I'm a grown man, and almost every time I say that I'm unmarried and that I live alone I'm asked who cooks and cleans for me, how come my shirts are well ironed, and do I take my dirty clothes to my mother for cleaning. Is it so strange that a grown It's infuriating. Those are basic life skills needed for purely biological survival.
#9
Expectation of having children.
I hate feeling like I am worth less because I do not want to put my body and mind through a pregnancy.
#10
That women can be their own worst enemy and drag down girls and young women with them. Like supporting/voting for misogynists. Edited to fix a missing word.
#11
I'll second sexual harassment, catcalling, and body issues from a very young age and add not being able to display your emotions and still be taken seriously. I hear so much from men saying that boys aren't able to express their emotions, and while this is true to some extent (the patriarchy hurts everyone!), they can express anger and have it be taken seriously. For women, it's immediately dismissed as hormonal/PMS/stereotypes (e.g., "angry Black woman"). If we express sadness, see above. If we express a legitimate concern (especially medical), it's dismissed as "anxiety". Women/girls aren't allowed to express emotions without societal repercussions any more than men/boys are, it just looks different for us (and can have more disastrous consequences, esp. medical).
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Catcalling. Guys, it's simple. Don't say anything to a woman on the street that you wouldn't want a man to say to you in prison.
#12
Being sl*tshamed and harrrased, always having to take care of others and being the bigger person, being told you purpose in life is giving birth.
Lauren Caswell 1 year ago
We are sl*ts or frigid, it seems. Especially true when we are under 30, though it never ends its just more targeted as we aren't as ready to protect ourselves at that age.
#13
Being constantly dismissed and therefore denied adequate help, compensation, etc.
Kerensa Scott 1 year ago
most female medical problems being under researched and dismissed by the medical community. having to fight just to be heard
#14
Being expected to be "polite" to everyone - take s**t from everyone, have low standards, accept manchildren as your partner, try to "see the best" in people who wrong you, people please. Being sexualised from infancy. Being treated like an infant in adulthood.
KillerKiwi 1 year ago
Being expected to be polite to everyone but then men think that just because you’re polite to them you’re obviously attracted to them. 🙄
#15
Worrying about body image from quite a young age. Am I fat? Am I too fat? Am I fit enough? Am I too muscley? Am I too skinny now? Am I skinny enough? Endless. .
Colleen Glim 1 year ago
One of the advantages to getting older is that most of us have zero f***s left to give
#16
Sexual harassment and occasional assault from heterosexual men.
Alvia Vseobecna 1 year ago
I had some very bad experiences... until I learned how to defend myself.
#17
As a girl: Being thrown into a world made and designed for men with no one to help contextualize this properly so I understand better why I'm not actually a huge failure at what I choose to undertake. As a teenager: being taught everything that is dangerous about sex (unwanted pregnancy, STDs...), but not about how to be comfortable with my own sexuality, or how pleasurable sex can be for women, how important it is, and how to achieve this - would have helped me so much more growing up So far for my entire life: Periods. Seriously. Inconvenient. Uncomfortable. Painful. Sometimes can lead to major embarrassment. Can put a damper on: events, vacations, sometimes I even have to adapt what I wear based on the day and flow... F**k tampon commercials trying to make anyone believe women need to live through this by dancing around in a white dress feeling pure bliss.
Kerensa Scott 1 year ago
only being able to fit into certain clothes because of severe pain and bloating :(
#18
Being underestimated and questioned while men are seen for potential; I had this incredible self confidence as a kid that was crushed in my teen years that I’ve worked my whole life to find back.
#19
For me it was mostly seeing how there were different rules for me than for my brothers, especially in terms of freedom.
Edit to say: I'm kind of baffled with all these replies and grateful to say that my wonderful parents raised me as the tomboy that I was with (almost) no complaints. My comment was addressed at things like going out alone or being out after dark. .
Lil Miss Hobbit 1 year ago
I grew up fairly conservative and my parents worked so hard to made things fair for both their boys and girls. They decided that "If we want to protect the girls by having them in non-revealing swimwear in public, then we're not going to have the boys shirtless." That has always made sense to me. No double standard. If the boys were shirtless, we got bikinis. And if we didn't get bikinis, than the boys were modest too. And yes, this was only when we were young and directly under their care (pre-teen, young teens).
#20
The body shaming started really early for me. I was called fat by everyone from my classmates to my father to my medical providers, then I slimmed down but my breasts grew big and fast so I was mocked for that; my mom started insinuating I was a s**t by the age of about 12. I didn’t even lose my virginity until I was almost 20 because I thought I was a big ugly monster.
It took me so, so long to unpack the trauma of growing up in the early/mid 2000s. Now I’m 34 and just dipping my toes in the water of intentional weight loss after decades of not being able to do it without spiraling into an eating disorder, because I’m edging on high blood pressure and want to be able to go hiking w my friends without being a drag.
Don’t get me started on navigating the minefield of dating hetero men.
Susie Elle 1 year ago (edited)
The 90's and the 00's were a toxic couple of decades. Just yesterday I was remembering how during soccer tournaments (the european championships just ended) they would fill the commercialbreaks with the "World Championships Lingerie", where, and I s**t you not, it would be just 15 minutes of pretty women in their underwear trying to shoot penalties. It was ... I can't even describe it. Everything about that era (and before that time as well), was about men, and women's appearance.
#21
Finding out what kind of p*rn men like. That our pleasure doesnt matter. That many men m**turbate to women/girls suffering.
Nimitz 1 year ago
This is something that weirded me out. Back when I still thought I was straight I remember buddies sharing porn. It really baffled and kinda frightened me how many of them really, really liked porn where the woman was being degraded. No one controls what kinks they end up with, but seriously, wtf guys?
#22
The patriarchy. Sexism, misogyny, double-standards, assault, predatory men, etc etc etc.
Anna Drever 1 year ago
A comment for ByeFelcia since they’re downvoted and I can’t directly reply… maybe listen to what women are saying instead of just dismissing them. If everything men do gives them the ick then maybe do better.
#24
Abuse. You pick the type.
Littlemiss 1 year ago
According to my family the abuse didn't count because I was a girl. Sexual abuse, must have asked for it. Physical abuse, you deserve it because you're too sensitive. Verbal abuse, mental and emotional abuse.... the list goes on. That was just my family.
#25
I was lucky and didn’t have a lot of the terrible experiences that girls and women have, but for me it was the double standard. My brother can do no wrong and he was able to do more because he was a boy and “it’s different for girls”.
VikingAbroad 1 year ago
And girls being taught to make rooms for the boys. 'they are later developed than girls. Bear with them.' why not teach the boys to actually look up to smart girls?
#26
The tragedy of womanhood. As a child you believe you have an inate worth as a person, equal to everyone else. And then the slow horror creeps in through the years as it dawns on you that society does not value you as a person and your only worth is in your body and how you can benefit the men around you.
#27
Requirements and judgement.
My mistakes are taken more aggressively and poorly than dudes.
#28
The never ending judgment and instance on compliance. I'm a women bringing up girls, it would be so very easy to teach them to be submissive and compliant but f**k easy. My girls rebel, they will push gender norms, they won't just accept "you need to..." , they are their own people, they may fall down but I'll pick them up,they will want to comply and fit in and I'll support them to be themselves. Bringing up girls harder than being one.
#29
Being out late at night (the double standard is extremely icky) and feeling unsafe. Being told that you shouldn't travel alone...
#30
Wondering what do with your f**kability. On the one hand, you learn early on that f**kability = money, power, influence (M P I). On the other hand, you learn that achieving M P I through f**kability is somehow more vulgar than every other way people get money, power and influence.
Being a wage-stealing s**tbag, just barely to the right side of a plantation owner = WOOHOO!, Elect that man to be the president and invite him to speak at Harvard's graduation!!! Be a millionaire sex worker, and it's "eww... she so stupid and all she did was a sex tape." Mmm kay.
The same mother who shames you for getting fat and "unf**kable" in her eyes is the same one that will shame you for expressing any form of your sexuality. Am I supposed to f**kable or not? Am I supposed to want to be f**kable or not? Am I supposed to use f**kability as a means to M P I or not? Am I supposed to have a say in my f**kability at all? What if I don't give a flying rat's a*s about my f**kability? Getting older makes some of the answers more clear but not always.
#31
Taught to be the one who concedes, says “sorry”, and has to be tactful with words and actions. I look at men with artificially inflated egos and simply think there’s gotta be a better way to parent both boys and girls to help them reach potential but not be ignorant of shortcomings.
Girls tend to doubt their skills and not take risks in opportunities because they think that they aren’t qualified. Boys tend to say… I don’t meet those requirements but I’m still going to go for it. (Again it’s a generalization that I saw in my own experiences and as a teacher).
Edit for grammar.
#32
Being sexualized before I understood sexuality. And the all consuming the reality that no matter what I did or what I was, I would never be correct. We are either s**t shamed or called prudes. We are either too thin or need to lose weight. We either wear too much makeup or not enough. It's never ending.
#33
You're objectified from a very young age. People were commenting on my breast size from pretty much the moment they showed up. They've always been small, and I had friends who had full D cups by 14. Seeing the different ways we were treated by our peers and even adults was sickening. They openly commented on our bodies, no shame, and in my case it was always teasing me for not being womanly enough in f*****g middle school. I was so resentful of my body and I didn't even know why. Meanwhile my friends with larger boobs were getting harassed and preyed on and they interpreted the attention as positive, but even when they'd show me texts and all the sexual things that boys were sending them, egging them on to perform sexual favors, or send nude photos, we naturally felt disgusted but we thought that was somehow the wrong reaction. We just thought it was normal, so we tolerated it, and in a twisted way I wanted the sexual harassment more than the bullying. It's f****d up. This world is f****d up to little girls.
#34
Living with the reality that your natural predator are men.
#35
Spending all my summers cleaning and watching my younger brother. Then when I started working I'd have to spend hours cleaning after work. Being expected to be an adult when I was 12. None of my possessions were really mine. If my brother, mom, or dad wanted something of mine they just took it. Not having my birthday celebrated for 20+ years because my parents couldn't pretend to care about me for an hour a day once a year. Being forced to put others wants/needs above mine. Being forced to clean when I was sick because having a clean house was more important than my recovery from the flu, pneumonia, etc. Having my health neglected because they thought I was faking it. Basically I wasn't seen as a human, but something to my parents live easier.
#36
Being shamed for stupid s**t. i was made fun of (by my best friends) in 9th grade for not wearing tampons. i was embarrassed at a sleepover in 8th grade when we were talking about shaving downstairs and i was confused about it so they were telling me i must smell bad down there. i was made fun of for being a virgin in that condescending “it’s ok” way. because i was so f****d up from being made fun of for it, i lied to people i met after high school about STUPID s**t like being a virgin. i forced myself to use tampons for a few years and i eventually stopped bc my periods were too heavy and honestly they were just uncomfortable. so is a pad, but i never had the fear of it getting lost lol. some years after high school, i start talking to my ex best friend again and at twenty f*****g four i was still being made fun of for wearing tampons being told i need to grow up. that stuff is already embarrassing as f**k and for your best friends to shame you is worse. i’m 30 and haven’t talked to them in years. Edit to add: body shaming. I was the fat friend to my 2 very pretty& skinny porcelain skin friends. I definitely was treated differently and will be teaching my son to not be a f*****g douche.
#37
People constantly push that you are basically over-the-hill very early in life, whereas men never lose their sex appeal. The logic being that women have prime reproductive years, so youth equals extra sex appeal. Meanwhile, even though men can continue to get women pregnant later in life, their sperm quality also drops. Older fathers also contribute to genetic issues, but this is NEVER addressed for the whole youth=reproduction=beauty argument. It is also a hilariously awful argument because I'm sure the same misogynists who push this wouldn't turn down an infertile supermodel. Women are basically just cattle to be picked, but somehow it's men going on shooting sprees saying it's unfair for them this isn't still 100% the case. We literally live in a world where billions of people see it as unfair that women don't exist to be sex and/or slaves to men.
#38
Never being allowed to fail/be bad at anything without it being blamed on my gender.
Liklik Snek 1 year ago
Yes! Also, we have to stop using "...like a girl" as a simile for doing something in an inferior way.
#39
Danger can be everywhere around the corner. I remember everyone telling girls how they have to me extra conscious. Always getting tipps how to protect myself. I grew up in a safe country but it was an issue. I know you have to be careful but do you know how tiring it is. It makes me anxious and i am 31 now. Always being on my best behavior. Lashing out or having a meltdown was a big no no in my family. I couldn't believe when I saw a girl having a meltdown and her family supporting her (consoling her, giving her space, being understanding). My parents would have hit my or something if i had a meltdown.
#40
Living in a world designed to benefit the opposite sex.
Graham_Illegal 1 year ago
More like designed to benefit the opposite sex's stereotype. Boys who aren't tough, assertive, or leaders, who don't enjoy sports, aren't interested in competition, and prefer to be surrounded by girls, are constantly bullied from day one. I'm not saying that it's the same experience as being a girl, but gender stereotypes hurt everyone who doesn't fit them well enough.
#41
Being sexualized for as long as I can remember. From being told to cover up from the time I was 4 to being catcalled for the first time when I was 11 to being flat out sexually harassed in high school. Also my appearance being such a huge deal, especially how much I weighed. Boys who had a few extra pounds were "big and strong", girls who had a few extra pounds were told they could be pretty if they just lost some weight.
#42
The first thing that popped in to my mind was simply the things I wanted to do. Girls don't box Girls don't play base ball Girls dont do karate Even when I showed interest in music, my dad said things like, "maybe you could be Mick Jagger's back up singer." It was like they had this real small idea in their head of what I could do/was capable of before I was even a whole person.
whodunnitfan2013 1 year ago
My father must have seen me as only a certain image he thought I should be (for example, a wife), because I once told him I wanted to be a musician, so I wouldn't have time to get married, then he'd just tell me I'd marry a fellow musician.
#43
Definitely having body image and the ideal norms of society I started looking at myself and compared myself to my peers at a very young age. I was probably 6-7 years old. And here I am at 25 still trying to overcome it. …..
#46
Growing up hating women (and myself as a girl) because of the not to subtle ways it’s infused in our society. I only just recently, at 40 years old, started listening to women singers and loving it!! You really have to try and peel back the layers of patriarchy to understand how freaking amazing women really are! We’ve been here all along kicking a*s in the background.
Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago
And every girl goes through an 'I'm not like the other girls'-phase. What we really meant is we're not that two-dimensional caricature of a lesser human who's only interested in makeup, fashion and how to get or a boyfriend (cue more stereotypes), but a real human being with character, needs and talents
#47
For me it was knowing that no matter how amazing I was, no matter if my accomplishments were objectively far greater, I would always always always be second pick for any job or award to a mediocre male candidate.
Feathered Dinosaur 1 year ago
That's why I'm for a mandatory women's quota. F**k the men who wail "but she only got the job because she's a woman" "the jobs should have gone to men, because they're obviously more qualified or why else did you think only men got those jobs in the past?". If you won't let us in, we'll just have to force our way in... again
#48
Apart from psychical danger, being respected when I dissented. People never listen when you’re a girl. And you can’t say “I told you so” after they messed up.
Me Oh My (He/They) 1 year ago
You really oughtn't say "I told you so" after someone messes up regardless of sex/gender because it's rude. At least, that's what I was taught.
#49
Realizing that no one will be there for you when you need them. The only person you can depend on is yourself. .
ByeFelicia 1 year ago
Men experience this just as often as women. We just don't talk about it. Sad but true.
#50
Insecurity ab your body. beauty is so pedistalized and 99% of the time dressing pretty, doing makeup, getting nails done just brings attention of people you don’t want it from in my experience. it’s very rare that there’s a guy i like and even then i don’t feel very *pretty* or special when someone DOES tell me i’m beautiful or whatever from a lot of guys it feels sexually charged or somehow off.
What do you think ?
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Another double standard - a man's "No" and a woman's "No" are not treated equally. And this is true even outside of sexual invitation.
Sky Render 1 year ago (edited)
For me the worst part was my father. He saw all girls and women as sex objects, including his own daughter. To the point that he basically forced me to pretend to be male just so he wouldn't molest me nightly. (It's complicated; I was born intersex, and my body was entirely capable of being made either male or female as it started out a unique mix of both. Never did I identify with the male part of that divide, but with a father like that, it was the safest choice. Thankfully he's long gone from my life and I can actually live as the woman I am instead of the man he wanted me to play at being.)
LB 1 year ago
I'm so glad you are free now, Sky. May you receive lots of blessings and good vibes!
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Zedrapazia 1 year ago
It's a shame how many people on this list suffer from body image issues and the inability to voice their own opinions comfortably. We really gotta step up as a society and stop objectifying people, it's been overdue since ever and nobody benefits from it. Not even the men, who get driven into all sorts of different toxic stereotypes.
Jill Rhodry 1 year ago
The overriding theme I noticed was sexual assault and predation.
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Rosgrana 1 year ago
“He’s just doing (annoying / painful / embarrassing / abusive thing) because he LIKES you!” Subtext: “So you should be grateful and flattered and shut up and stop expecting the people whose job it is to protect you to do anything at all to help you. Oh, and don’t defend yourself either. You’re overreacting to ‘being teased’ and hitting people is unladylike.”
EmAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇩🇿🇵🇸 1 year ago
I've made a comment on a post and i just wanted to make it clear. This is a post about women and girls and what we face from birth. When a man chimes in with 'well it happens to men too' we are not saying it doesn't. But the fact you are saying that and not allowing women their space to just think about themselves for once, to think about us and what we go through without having to take on board someone else's problem or have our issues or fears shared or halved with men. Let us have a minute dammit!
Poppy 1 year ago
I'm surprised no one mentions how pain in women is dismissed whereas pain in men is taken seriously and medical investigations and treatment options are discussed. Women get told 'it's all in your head' that we're anxious, that we have to make do with over the counter medications. The same with medical procedures. the fitting of a coil is often done without pain relief and it is incredibly painful. Yet when men go through a procedure they get taken much more seriously when they say they're in pain.
similarly 1 year ago
There's an epidemic of violence against women all around the world, but there's also a much quieter epidemic of contempt, disrespect, and scorn. I really wish we could live in a world where ALL people can be free, and equal, at peace with themselves and others. Sure, it might be impossible, but it's not impossible to TRY, and not impossible to improve things. Sincerely, we NEED to do better. We've come a long, long way just in my lifetime (look at 80s comedies to see what we thought was funny back then! It's embarrassing!). But we still have so far to go. It's sad and shameful we haven't come further than we have, and worse still that some countries that SHOULD be better, seem to be going BACKWARDS! (and you KNOW who you are!)
Tree P 1 year ago
Yeah,I know, I live there! Greedy Old Pricks (GOP) want women to live in the 1800s.
Load More Replies... Breadcrumb. 1 year ago
There are still places today that see women and girls as property to be traded like live stock. They have zero rights. Don't forget about them..
VOTE if you live in the USA 1 year ago
I feel like I missed a lot of the trauma shared here growing up. I had good role models, no one doubted me because of my gender, my mom always said, "girls can do anything boys can do AND have babies," I don't remember being s e x u a l i z e d, I haven't been abused or have any memory of being cat called... which makes me wonder...am I ugly? lol.
sturmwesen 1 year ago
Na... I had one "minor" SA where I had to demonstrate that I changed my mind mid xxx by force at about 20. Other than that and slight issues with beauty standards (which guys have too) and ignorant car sales guys my gender never played a big negative role. You just got lucky. But I will admit I thought the same sometimes.
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ANTIVICTORIA 1 year ago
This is an issue most won't understand, but raised poor in the 60's girls were taught the only way out of poverty was to marry "well". Academic excellence was actively discouraged. College wasn't ever mentioned, as no one would be able to afford it. (which was true then- the Boomers never paid their loans, so the ony way to get a student loan was to have your parents co-sign it-making it impossible). When cops came to the house after my Mom was beaten to a pulp, they laughed and said "He's just in love" and left. DV shelters didn't exist. Neither did homeless shelters. Easy to rape/exploit poor girls and cops - asked first, What were you wearing? Things are so much incredibly better now. Women paid SO much less than men, impossible to pull yourself out of poverty. And if you don't have children there was NO social help of any kind available, That's why the poorest demographic today are older single women withouth kids. This is just the start- but the deck was stacked against us in w
Kaedyn Walsh 1 year ago
I'm SHOCKED no one mentioned the medical gaslighting women get. "Oh it's just in your head/not that bad/you're just needing to lose weight/try a heating pad" etc. And meanwhile cancer is spreading, endometriosis is doing major organ destruction, etc etc.
Joe Bloe 1 year ago
Those issues are really, and a lot different from what boys have to face. We can't know all this without being a girl. It's especially worst in traditional societies.
MK-C PHD 1 year ago
Nope!! I'm raising my son (and 2 daughters) to see the inequality and not be party to it!!! My girls are strong independent young women and he is a young man who supports and considers women equal to him. My hubby is one of those rare men who believes a strong capable woman is at least his equal and his daughters equal to his son in nearly every way!!!! We tried hard to avoid those pitfalls that parents can perpetuate if they are not treating ALL CHILDREN as equally strong, capable, and independent!!!!
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BrunoVI 1 year ago (edited)
I do not mean to invalidate anyone's hardships, but we have to look after boys, too. Yes, they can be victims of sexual predators, too. And boys can be savagely beaten by their peers on a regular basis and "it's just part of growing up." Know why girls get better grades yet test more poorly? Female teachers go easy on them; the cost is boys drop out and get dangerous, physical jobs. And there are many reasons by in modern, peaceful, prosperous nations men die at two to three times the rate of women at every age and none of them are stupidity or genetics. You know why guys do all those deadly dangerous things that BPs like to laugh at? Because they've internalized, "show no fear or get beaten" at such an early age that they no longer register danger. Girls slightly on the spectrum are "adorkable," while guys are creepy wierdos; "OMG! How DARE he think I might want to have a relationship with a LOSER like HIM????"
CanadianDimes 1 year ago
Yes, we do have to look after boys as well. For articles like these, though, the focus is on women and girls, and that is okay. It is a very common thing for people to point out the male issues on articles about women and girls, but the reverse is very uncommon. It is well known that these things happen to men and boys. I know it's hard to read tone via text, so I will say I'm not saying this in anger at all - I fully agree with you. I am only saying we need spaces where we can talk about this for women and girls, we need spaces where we can talk about it for boys and men, we need spaces where we can talk about it for both - we also, of course, need spaces where we talk about it for non-binary folks/folks of other genders. It is all right to have a space where we focus on one thing and not all the things.
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Michael Largey 1 year ago
Another double standard - a man's "No" and a woman's "No" are not treated equally. And this is true even outside of sexual invitation.
Sky Render 1 year ago (edited)
For me the worst part was my father. He saw all girls and women as sex objects, including his own daughter. To the point that he basically forced me to pretend to be male just so he wouldn't molest me nightly. (It's complicated; I was born intersex, and my body was entirely capable of being made either male or female as it started out a unique mix of both. Never did I identify with the male part of that divide, but with a father like that, it was the safest choice. Thankfully he's long gone from my life and I can actually live as the woman I am instead of the man he wanted me to play at being.)
LB 1 year ago
I'm so glad you are free now, Sky. May you receive lots of blessings and good vibes!
Load More Replies... Zedrapazia 1 year ago
It's a shame how many people on this list suffer from body image issues and the inability to voice their own opinions comfortably. We really gotta step up as a society and stop objectifying people, it's been overdue since ever and nobody benefits from it. Not even the men, who get driven into all sorts of different toxic stereotypes.
Jill Rhodry 1 year ago
The overriding theme I noticed was sexual assault and predation.
Load More Replies... Rosgrana 1 year ago
“He’s just doing (annoying / painful / embarrassing / abusive thing) because he LIKES you!” Subtext: “So you should be grateful and flattered and shut up and stop expecting the people whose job it is to protect you to do anything at all to help you. Oh, and don’t defend yourself either. You’re overreacting to ‘being teased’ and hitting people is unladylike.”
EmAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇩🇿🇵🇸 1 year ago
I've made a comment on a post and i just wanted to make it clear. This is a post about women and girls and what we face from birth. When a man chimes in with 'well it happens to men too' we are not saying it doesn't. But the fact you are saying that and not allowing women their space to just think about themselves for once, to think about us and what we go through without having to take on board someone else's problem or have our issues or fears shared or halved with men. Let us have a minute dammit!
Poppy 1 year ago
I'm surprised no one mentions how pain in women is dismissed whereas pain in men is taken seriously and medical investigations and treatment options are discussed. Women get told 'it's all in your head' that we're anxious, that we have to make do with over the counter medications. The same with medical procedures. the fitting of a coil is often done without pain relief and it is incredibly painful. Yet when men go through a procedure they get taken much more seriously when they say they're in pain.
similarly 1 year ago
There's an epidemic of violence against women all around the world, but there's also a much quieter epidemic of contempt, disrespect, and scorn. I really wish we could live in a world where ALL people can be free, and equal, at peace with themselves and others. Sure, it might be impossible, but it's not impossible to TRY, and not impossible to improve things. Sincerely, we NEED to do better. We've come a long, long way just in my lifetime (look at 80s comedies to see what we thought was funny back then! It's embarrassing!). But we still have so far to go. It's sad and shameful we haven't come further than we have, and worse still that some countries that SHOULD be better, seem to be going BACKWARDS! (and you KNOW who you are!)
Tree P 1 year ago
Yeah,I know, I live there! Greedy Old Pricks (GOP) want women to live in the 1800s.
Load More Replies... Breadcrumb. 1 year ago
There are still places today that see women and girls as property to be traded like live stock. They have zero rights. Don't forget about them..
VOTE if you live in the USA 1 year ago
I feel like I missed a lot of the trauma shared here growing up. I had good role models, no one doubted me because of my gender, my mom always said, "girls can do anything boys can do AND have babies," I don't remember being s e x u a l i z e d, I haven't been abused or have any memory of being cat called... which makes me wonder...am I ugly? lol.
sturmwesen 1 year ago
Na... I had one "minor" SA where I had to demonstrate that I changed my mind mid xxx by force at about 20. Other than that and slight issues with beauty standards (which guys have too) and ignorant car sales guys my gender never played a big negative role. You just got lucky. But I will admit I thought the same sometimes.
Load More Replies... ANTIVICTORIA 1 year ago
This is an issue most won't understand, but raised poor in the 60's girls were taught the only way out of poverty was to marry "well". Academic excellence was actively discouraged. College wasn't ever mentioned, as no one would be able to afford it. (which was true then- the Boomers never paid their loans, so the ony way to get a student loan was to have your parents co-sign it-making it impossible). When cops came to the house after my Mom was beaten to a pulp, they laughed and said "He's just in love" and left. DV shelters didn't exist. Neither did homeless shelters. Easy to rape/exploit poor girls and cops - asked first, What were you wearing? Things are so much incredibly better now. Women paid SO much less than men, impossible to pull yourself out of poverty. And if you don't have children there was NO social help of any kind available, That's why the poorest demographic today are older single women withouth kids. This is just the start- but the deck was stacked against us in w
Kaedyn Walsh 1 year ago
I'm SHOCKED no one mentioned the medical gaslighting women get. "Oh it's just in your head/not that bad/you're just needing to lose weight/try a heating pad" etc. And meanwhile cancer is spreading, endometriosis is doing major organ destruction, etc etc.
Joe Bloe 1 year ago
Those issues are really, and a lot different from what boys have to face. We can't know all this without being a girl. It's especially worst in traditional societies.
MK-C PHD 1 year ago
Nope!! I'm raising my son (and 2 daughters) to see the inequality and not be party to it!!! My girls are strong independent young women and he is a young man who supports and considers women equal to him. My hubby is one of those rare men who believes a strong capable woman is at least his equal and his daughters equal to his son in nearly every way!!!! We tried hard to avoid those pitfalls that parents can perpetuate if they are not treating ALL CHILDREN as equally strong, capable, and independent!!!!
Load More Replies... BrunoVI 1 year ago (edited)
I do not mean to invalidate anyone's hardships, but we have to look after boys, too. Yes, they can be victims of sexual predators, too. And boys can be savagely beaten by their peers on a regular basis and "it's just part of growing up." Know why girls get better grades yet test more poorly? Female teachers go easy on them; the cost is boys drop out and get dangerous, physical jobs. And there are many reasons by in modern, peaceful, prosperous nations men die at two to three times the rate of women at every age and none of them are stupidity or genetics. You know why guys do all those deadly dangerous things that BPs like to laugh at? Because they've internalized, "show no fear or get beaten" at such an early age that they no longer register danger. Girls slightly on the spectrum are "adorkable," while guys are creepy wierdos; "OMG! How DARE he think I might want to have a relationship with a LOSER like HIM????"
CanadianDimes 1 year ago
Yes, we do have to look after boys as well. For articles like these, though, the focus is on women and girls, and that is okay. It is a very common thing for people to point out the male issues on articles about women and girls, but the reverse is very uncommon. It is well known that these things happen to men and boys. I know it's hard to read tone via text, so I will say I'm not saying this in anger at all - I fully agree with you. I am only saying we need spaces where we can talk about this for women and girls, we need spaces where we can talk about it for boys and men, we need spaces where we can talk about it for both - we also, of course, need spaces where we talk about it for non-binary folks/folks of other genders. It is all right to have a space where we focus on one thing and not all the things.
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