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People Name 23 Things That Society Tends To Romanticize That Are Actually Toxic
On the last day of 2020, singer and songwriter Naya Ford posted a video on TikTok, asking her followers the question: "What's something that people glamorize that's actually just extremely toxic?"
At the end of the TikTok, Naya started things off with an answer of her own about people who look for a very particular quality in their potential partners: "When people say, 'I want a significant other [who] is rude and mean and not friendly to anybody.' Girl, no one's gonna cheat on you. It's okay."
The post immediately blew up. Not just Naya's fans, but folks from all walks of the platform started sharing their take on the subject.
You can follow Naya on: TikTok | Instagram | Facebook
@nayaaford What’s something that glamorized but is ✨toxic✨ #NewYearNewMiO #WordsOfWisdom #toxic #withouttellingme #fyp
♬ original sound - Naya A Ford
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Vouching For Friends - No Matter What
"Vouching for your friends no matter what, even when they’ve done something bad. Like, if my friend cheats on their partner, and they expect me to lie for them if their partner calls me and asks where they are, I’m not lying for you and your [bad] behavior.
If your partner knows me well enough to have my phone number and ask where you are, why would I want to participate in lying to them? Obviously there are worse things, but it’s a no for me."
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
If you can't be honest with your friend then you aren't that good of a friend. I would rather a friend pull me up on my bullshit than have an enabler.
Jessica Shookhoff 4 years ago
That's how you know they're a real friend. They love you enough to call you out on your bs, cause they know you're better than that
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RandomPandaGuyHamiltonLafayette 4 years ago
I know some people will disagree but.... I hate it when people are called snitches. Some people literally got annoyed at me for telling on the their friend....when the friend broke the law! They took pictures of me without my permission, edited it, and shared it to others. They also did this to a teacher.
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
I'm sure you do mean really well but being a good friend is so much more than that. If you really care you'll steer someone right, not just cover their a r s e. If you want the best for people you have to think longer term and consider all the consequences. People rarely get away with things forever - and if they want to cheat on others and do the wrong thing then maybe they're not that great a person.
Load More Replies...Naya said she came up with the idea for the now-viral TikTok accidentally. "We're in a time period where tons of things are romanticized especially on social media, so I just thought shedding some light on the truth behind those things would be an interesting conversation," she told Bored Panda.
"I chose [my own answer] because where I live that's actually a very common quality people want in a partner, don't ask me why. But there's this fear that if they're friendly to the everyday person that means they’re just bound to cheat on you," Naya explained.
The singer is shocked at the attention her TikTok has received. "I didn't make the video with any real intent behind it and that's the beauty of TikTok—it can reach people who feel the way you feel and gives people room to get some stuff off their chest."
"Apparently, I'm not the only one who finds certain things toxic but also that the word toxic is definitely a matter of perception. Two completely different minds can have opposing opinions on the same thing that is toxic but I found it cool to see both ends of the spectrum. The comment section became real informative really quickly. It was awesome," Naya concluded.
RELATED:
#2
Youtube Couple Pranks
"YouTube couples who do pranks — they’re so obvious that they’re doing pranks, and they just get more and more extreme with...embarrassing each other on camera."
Sum Guy 4 years ago
This one is easy, don't follow anyone whose only content is about themselves and their lives... find something with a theme. I follow tech like LTT, MKBHD and also chanels that teach like wendover, half as interesting, cheddar. ..
Tapio Magnussen 4 years ago
SOoner or later, ridiculous things will end to be understood as actual ridiculous things.
AlmightyOne 4 years ago (edited)
I will say that some pranks are still healthy so long as both sides consent, but yeah. For me it's a blurrier line than most, and it's easy to fall into the toxic side.
Mental Health America (MHA), the nation's leading community-based nonprofit dedicated to addressing the needs of those living with mental illness and promoting mental health in general, highlights that certain people and situations in life can trigger us to feel bad about ourselves or engage in destructive behaviors.
According to the organization, identifying the toxic influences in our lives and taking steps to create boundaries or a new life without them can improve mental and physical health over time.
#3
Romanticizing Heartbreak
"The way that we romanticize getting our heart broken and then forgiving and getting back together with the person who broke our heart. That dumb notion of ‘you always hurt the one you love’...If somebody cheats on you, lies to you, manipulates you, that is called emotional abuse. And there’s this media depiction that all it takes is the right grand gesture and then everything is resolved — it will never happen again, and you should forgive them. I’m not saying redemption isn’t possible because every situation is different, but that’s not romantic — that’s called work.
And if I have to watch one more gosh darn movie where we sympathize with the person who did the abuse, and we look to the person who was abused asking them to forgive them to suit our romantic narrative. ... It is not glamorous, it is not romantic; it is abuse, and we need to stop idolizing it."
Stille20 4 years ago
Heart break and abuse are two different things. There are lots of songs and movies about heartbreak because most people go through it and it is an intense and disorienting feeling.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 4 years ago
Agreed. Being cheated on is hard, but it's not necessarily abused. It's someone making a HUGE mistake. Now if it's a constant issue, then that's a different story.
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Pamda Panda 4 years ago
That grand gesture is performative contrition-- the abuser makes themselves look so sorry, so upset about their own behavior, that the abused ends up looking like the bad person for not forgiving the abuser. It's as controlling and manipulative as any of the other abusive behavior.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
This. Being treated like crap is NOT okay, and is NOT romantic, and is not comical. Ugh.
Anthony Goldstein (female) 4 years ago
okay, but im my defense, I do think Roy from the Office changed and realized how amazing Pam was. I would love to have seen more of him.
Erika Haynes 4 years ago
There was a comment here that I can't find anymore. Just want to say I also hated Eat Pray Love. Selfish, self-involved and really unpleasant person just wrecking her way through other people's lives, and we are supposed to admire her for going after the life she wants (paid for by ex husband and publisher)
sebastian nye 4 years ago
Been there. Tried to reconcile with the cheater. Twice. Third time was enough and i bailed. Probably should have the first time.
People can be toxic too. We've all met that person — the one who constantly leaves you feeling worse off after interacting with them. It can be a manipulative family member or a co-worker who won't stop complaining about every little thing.
But keep in mind: this term isn't grounded in psychology and doesn't have one simple definition.
That being said, if you have a hard time dealing with someone toxic in your life, it's helpful to start by pinpointing problematic behaviors, rather than simply labeling them as being toxic.
#4
Gender Norms
"Gender norms. Blue is for boys, pink is for girls. Girls show emotion, men do not. Women are feminine, men are masculine."
Chez 4 years ago
This one fascinates me, especially as a mom of 3 boys. Pink originally WAS for guys - as it blue was seen as a more "calming" colour for women (I do agree lol). And high heels were invented for men too, for horse riding. So - gender norms change all the time. It's time we started removing gender from anything that doesn't specifically apply to a physical difference in body type, and even then it's not always about gender.
ravina nimje 4 years ago
Fun fact it was vise versa in the early 19th century, it just a marketing strategy to improve sales.
Okokok! 4 years ago
Yeah... the color palette... always try to tell my boys that colors are for everyone but they get educated by this traditional standards in school and Kindergarten (Meh, Papa, that's a girlish color!). Also trying to teach 'em that nothing shall be gender-specified, just be yourself and be most comfortable with what you do and think. (in general I just try to give them that one very good advice I read in an interview with Kirk Douglas: I don't care what you're believing in, as long as your faith will make you a humble, empathetic, and loving person.)
Christian Bradshaw 4 years ago
I do hate gender norms. I will show emotion if I want to, darn it!
Barrie Sueskind, a therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in relationships, shares some key signs of toxicity: self-absorption or self-centeredness, manipulation, and other emotional abuse, dishonesty and deceit, difficulty offering compassion to others, a tendency to create drama or conflict.
If these sound familiar, you can read fire up this article on how to respond to this type of behavior.
#5
Having Kids
"Having kids. No wait. It's not toxic in its entirety. There are aspect in it that are really toxic hear me out. Having children is glamorized and prioritize over very necessary pieces of actually raising children. People are not addressing their past traumas, they not addressing their stability, mentally, physically, financially. All of these thing are taking a back seat to an idea bringing children to this world and having a baby shower, and having a gender reveal, Both the children and parents are forced in this reality that they can't recreate their favorite TV show family. The life is very real but having children are glamorized and the kids will group with not addressed traumas and repeat the cycle."
Sum Guy 4 years ago
This one is different... I've always thought I didn't want kids, still don't have kids... but at times I see one of those little shits and think... I want one. Am also scared that when I'm 40 I'll want one and will be a bit old to do fun stuff with the little s**t
Sue Hazlewood 4 years ago
The fact you call them little s**t tells me you won't want one at 40
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I want cake 4 years ago
I'm 29 now, and while I do want children, I'm also only just coming to understand the depth of my own trauma, despite working on it and myself for over a decade. I have so much inherited trauma because my parents didn't address their own trauma before having children and passed it on to us. I don't want to do that to my own children. People often think it's strange when I try to explain that though, like they think somehow I'll be magically cured of all that trauma once i have a baby to love - I'm just there thinking, 'yeah because it worked so well for my parents?'
Chris Jones 4 years ago
As a child of parents who didn't resolve things first (and if I'm honest probably never would have done because they didn't have the capacity really) I really applaud your stance. There is a book you may already know about but it's by clinical psychologist Oliver James. I'd highly recommend it. It's called They F*** You Up: How to Survive Family Life. Parents can so easily mess their children up in quite serious ways and yet be very well meaning. It's not criticising them - they were f****d up in their turn (the poem by Philip Larkin comes to mind). "They f**k you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you." Don't get me wrong, I loved my parents and they did try. That at least helps.
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Daria B 4 years ago
It seems to me times already shifted in this one. Childless/child free emancipated busy woman making money - that's also a very glamourised image. Nothing wrong with that image itself, just like there's nothing wrong in rising a family. It's the glamourising of either side, and subsequent criticism of each side that makes it toxic. Your life, your choice - my life, my choice. Both is good, both is beneficial. Cool? Cool.
gookiefish 293 4 years ago
Had my first art 35 and second at 39. I was a much better parent than then I would have been at 23. I was mature and stable, in a stable loving relationship and I had dealt with most of my own crap by that point. I wasn't quite as spry as I used to be but I'm definitely a much better parent and much less stressed by a lot of the stuff I see younger parents dealing with.
Moisturized Elbows 4 years ago
We are still complaining about this but I mostly hear and know people who don't support this stuff anymore. Only a few still have that mentality in my opinion
I want cake 4 years ago
It's very easy to end up in a kind of echo chamber of opinions we agree with. It's not something that's widely debated on TV and other news media, so if the people around you aren't saying things like this, you're likely to think that's the common opinion. I think that the pertinent point of this post isn't necessarily the pushing of motherhood, rather than the complete underestimation in society in general of how important it is to work through your own problems and traumas before you have children.
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Mangelo Il Fumatori 4 years ago
Another aspect of this is people demeaning others who don't have children (either by choice or by circumstance, such as infertility).
lunar eclipse 4 years ago
In my country, newly weds are expected to have a kid by their second or first anniversary. If a girl says she’s not ready. They tell her that everyone’s nervous in the beginning and she’ll be fine.
#6
Diet Culture
"Diet culture and the idea that your value and morality is tied to how much you weigh."
Sum Guy 4 years ago
Just keep healthy... and also, if you're overweight, a good diet would be healthy for you
Stille20 4 years ago (edited)
Most of the comments missed the point. It's not saying you shouldn't take care of yourself. It says you need to stop equating weight with someone's worth.
Ben Smith 4 years ago
Actually, the point is that more and more people...mostly young people...think it's ok to be overweight because as a society we're afraid to hurt someone's feelings. You're right: someone's worth isn't measured by their weight...but their lifespan is. And the quality of their life is as well.
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Dynein 4 years ago
Concentrate on eating healthy and incorporating some regular exercise, even if light. And concentrate on making this change long-term!!! Losing weight slowly but steadily is much, much more healthy than losing it quickly. Quick diets rely on starving the body and remove weight largely by removing _muscle_ tissue! The brain needs energy in the form of glucose (it is very picky about which molecules can enter), which fat cannot be transformed into by the human metabolism but proteins can. So if your body doesn't get enough carbohydrates, sugars and proteins from food to create glucose for the brain, it'll metabolize its own muscle tissue to keep the brain going. And once you stop, that muscle will be added again. And literally starving your body is also not a good way to make it inclined to demand _less_ food - periods of starving are basically the conformation that overeating and storing energy is crucial for survival!
Daria B 4 years ago
Or consult a doctor regarding weight loss medicines that were originally invented for treating diabetes, which were approved for weight loss use. It's really effective and healthy, but it's expensive, and you MUST consult a doctor first and have your health checked regularly. It's more than just willpower and keeping healthy habits.
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Danieletc 4 years ago
100 years ago, in the US, many American children were suffering from more diseases, partly because they were malnourished. The pendulum has swung, and obesity in children is a bigger threat to heir health these days. STOP bashing a healthy diet!. Yes, there is this anorexia out there, but obesity is MUCH more common, and it is UNHEALTHY and it is PREVENTABLE.
Fabio Ribeiro 4 years ago
So many triggered people.. its not fat shame nor body shame: underweight and overweight ARE unhealthy, period. Its Medically proven, both for.. And the "doesnt mean diet is not healthy"... No, you dont get overweight over eating salads and exercising, only some rare cases of disease, and thats not that many.. People just cant admit... "Oh, i cant lose weight" do they do any fitness? no.. Eat healthy? no, Fast food all the way and munch on bread while reading this most likely... I was around 50kg with 1,80m for most of my life, and now that i got 80kg, i see how skinny and unhealthy i was.. i got belly now, and i am aware of it.. not gonna say "oh but im healthy" cuz this probably isnt... People need to accept reality and stop the "all bodies are beautiful"... No, your "beauty" will not save you from Heart Attacks soon in life
Jenna Justice 4 years ago
well not to be fatphobic, but being healthy matters being healthy but bigger if good, but if your killing yourself and your doctors says that your at risk that isnt good ya know
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
When I was a kid, my dad's obsession with our weights gave us eating issues for life. B/c if we were "pudgy" (read: normal weight), then we were "bad" and "ugly". I threw out my scale and measuring tape, and never felt better... and am still a healthy weight and in good health!
#7
The Broken Men "Can Only Be Healed" By Women Trope
"The idea that broken men can only be healed through the love and labor of a woman. This perpetuates the idea that men cannot find healing or support from anybody except for women — which means that they don’t seek it from their friends, they don’t seek therapy, they don’t have connections outside of their [female] partner to support them. This obviously puts a huge burden on women to care for men, heal them, rehabilitate them. That same energy is not given to women.
Also, if you want an example, I recommend looking at almost any movie targeted to teenage girls that is about a ‘bad boy’ (the pure, loving ‘good girl’ heals the wounds of the tortured ‘bad boy’ trope)."
King Joffrey 4 years ago
The most dangerous aspect of this is that I've seen many women go for a violent/abusive man as they think he will change.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Broken people have two choices: Do the work and fix themselves... or not do it, and break others. I'd rather do the work. I've seen this one since I was *born*.... Please please please do the work for yourself, so you can not become the *breaker*.
Unaffected 4 years ago (edited)
My ex was one to be healed and I thought I'm a healer until he abused and beat me almost daily.My son is the most wonderful, respectful partner to his girlfiend because I thought him how to respect a female in his life and not be like his father.I'm a proud mama!
CatWoman312 4 years ago
The messed up thing about this double standard is the broken woman usually is too much for a man to handle so he just abandons her or doesn’t even bother. Yet they can be whiny babies with baggage coming out of their nostrils, but it’s okay they’re just a broken man. Barf. Leave your drama for your mama.
Teucer T 4 years ago
It's not a double standard... It's that old saying: "A woman marries a man hoping he'll change, but a man marries a woman hoping she won't."
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Teucer T 4 years ago
Sigh... Look, just because if one of my friends says something over the line and I punch him in the chest so hard it takes him almost a minute to remember how to breathe and then we both go grab a beer together doesn't mean I have unresolved issues... I resolved the issue... I just don't feel the need to smile through the insult, let it fester for months, and then pay someone $200/hr to hear me whine about it.
Laura Maeflower 4 years ago
I see this having a link to men pushing women physically(sexually). Men are starved for touch, intimacy and emotional connection. And with the sexualization of our culture I can see why porn, assault and rape are such a big problem right now. Not saying the guys aren't to blame for that, they HAVE to be accountable, but our culture makes it worse I think, even for good men who respect female boundaries they really just want connection because they don't get it unless they are in a relationship.
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
Or, you know, women have been socialized since birth to put their own needs last, and popular culture slams this concept of the "bad guy going good for her" down our throats. But how is the air in that vacuum you live in? A bit thin?
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#8
Wine Culture
"Wine culture. Especially mom wine culture. "The reason mommy drinks." "Mommy juice." And look I am guilty of it too. I used to make jokes about it until I realized I actually had a problem. We're grown women. It's not cool to joke about drinking every day. It's alcoholism."
GeneralZod 4 years ago
Alcoholism is NOT defined by what you drink, when you drink it, or even how much you drink. There are much deeper dependency issues that go into alcoholism and it cannot be summed up in a one size fits all little definition .
BorPand8 4 years ago
Drinking a glass or two of wine every day isn't alcoholism. Now a bottle of wine every day, that's a different story.
May 4 years ago
It's alcoholsim if you can't NOT have that glass or two a day. It's not the amount that desides if it's an addiction, it's the inability to go without.
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Dee Pond 4 years ago
My "but first, mommy juice" friends are the worst about denial and justification... Besides my cringe, your kids are learning from you. Between 60% and 70% of all alcohol sales are to people who's drinking qualifies as "problematic". Be aware of your habits, they can get out of hand fast.
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
Wine is a beverage, NOT "booze". If you don't like me having wine with dinner, don't eat with me.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 4 years ago
Back in the 50's it was totally acceptable and even encouraged to take tranquilizers on the daily. They were called "Mommy's LIttle Helpers," and it led to a generation of elderly addicts who swore they "never did drugs."
Doggo Froggo 4 years ago
So are you saying that mothers cannot get through the day without alcohol? Sorry, I am just a little confused by what you meant. If you are though, that is beyond incorrect.
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#9
Society And Social Media’s Obsession With Relationships
"By no means am I saying that relationships are toxic, but what I am saying is that society and social media’s obsession with relationships — yeah, that’s not healthy at all. It’s as though everyone is more focused on the cute pictures, the matching outfits, and being able to say you have someone than actually accessing and considering ~who~ you have.
Daniel Sloss said it best...: It’s people out here trying to force things that shouldn’t be forced with one another because they would much rather have somebody than nothing at all. Like...there are really couples out here who don’t need to be together, should NOT be together, but they stay together because their cute couple pics go viral. And the obsession promotes the idea that being single is a flaw. It’s getting weird!"
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
it's just bizarre that some people would rather stay in an unhappy relationship due to likes on social media than actually be in a happy, loving relationship.
Julia Atkinson 4 years ago
Absolutely. Feel free to deviate from the life script!
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Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 4 years ago
i'm 45, single, and happy. Whenever i fell lonely I call my friends, I'm childfree and love whe way my apartment is set.
Tim Fischer 4 years ago
There is a genereal prblem that peple always try to force finding "the one" or someone. Keep your eyes open and just let it happen
Aamna Shah 4 years ago (edited)
It's the celebrities who take it to a whole different level. Social media has simply democratized this obsession so everyone is sharing an ideal representation but it was initially started by Hollywood celebrities. We only get to see them swooning at each other and standing hand in hand on the red carpet with a look of pure fascination and love as if the other is a chocolate cake they can't wait to devour at all times. They normalized an unattainable ideal so now people believe anything short of this luxurious fantasy is toxicity. This word is way too overused nowadays.
#10
The Modeling Industry
"The modeling industry. I’m surprised to this day, it’s still glorified. It’s such a toxic industry, people get away with so [many] atrocious things in that industry because they have power and control over your work, your body, and so many other things that you renounced when you started your career as a model.
Like, they don’t prepare you to be objectified, sexualized, and preyed on by predators. Played by people you trust, told that you’re not good enough, [and] expected to be of a standard that you will never attain. Jeopardizing your self-worth and mental health at their expense for them to make money off you. It’s such a problematic industry that we need to stop glamorizing it...
Please don’t...be something you're not and let people (who don’t care about you) dictate what you should (or shouldn’t) be in this industry. If you start out, do you."
nini 4 years ago
I used to model for a short time, until they told me I should lose some weight. I was 16 and my BMI was around 16 as well... I actually was trying to gain some weight. I always used to be a thin kid, and growing quite a lot quite quickly during my puberty didn't help. So I stopped it right there and then, before it could get at me. Don't regret it at all. I gained quite some weight now, so that I'm in the normal weight (mainly because of fitness) and I am so much better, stronger and healthier now. :)
ravina nimje 4 years ago
Well models are basically hangers that are movable. It is over-glorified career.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
The modelling world is changing, albeit very slowly. My friend was a model during the period when models were expected to go days without eating prior to a session and encouraged to take class A drugs to stay thin. Now, she still works in the industry and says it much better but still has a long way to go.
Sunny Topia 3 years ago
Omg yeshhh I watched a tiktok where there is a woman who was being straight forward and scold the camera man because the camera man told her not to eat during the photography cuz she could gain weight. Then she said she can't work with people like this and gave up and leave the photography site.
sunflower_013 4 years ago
I agree. I’m a teen model, and it’s been a real struggle to keep my self esteem up amidst all the haters. But I love it, and wouldn’t give it up for anything ❤️
Noemie Houtekie-N'Da 4 years ago
Because they don't eat for days sometimes before modelling.
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birdie asf 4 years ago
what side of tiktok are you on lmao? you only get recommendations on your fyp based on what you like or dislike, so if you only get those kinds of videos, take a moment to think about what videos you've likes and commented on...
Load More Replies... #11
Bloggers Morning Routine
"Bloggers who have the perfect morning routines with their kids and they cut up all the little lunch into bento box with the love notes and a shaped apple with an octopus and their house is cleaned and they are dressed. The moms are dressed their hairs are brushed, they have make up. Where are you going, where are you going and then their kids are in perfect outfits and then they go out of the door like that. No, it doesn't work that way, that's toxic, it's a lie"
Mae (just add water) 4 years ago
I wanted to create a blog on all things Stevie Nicks. I stopped when I realized I had to pay a crazy amount for a domain, for a blog that nobody would ever even see! But, some blogs are cool. Some not so much
Load More Replies... Susan Stead 4 years ago
Not only is it toxic, it's BS, too. When my kids were little, even with my husband's help and a lot of organization, we never even aspired to those standards. Our best hack was packing/prepackaging our brown bag lunches for the week on Sunday afternoons so we could grab-and-go in the mornings. Not glamorous or precious, and certainly not blog-worthy, but at least we got out of the house in the morning with some food, and we patted ourselves on the back for actually accomplishing that much.
Todd Hunter 4 years ago
It's sad how empty some people's lives are that they follow and believe bloggers, influencers etc.
Karin Jansen 4 years ago
So it's toxic to get yourself dressed and ready before helping your kids? Nonsense. Stop calling everything toxic.
I want cake 4 years ago
No, it's toxic to act like looking perfect and having three hours every morning to prepare your child's lunch is normal and a pinnacle of good motherhood. People with normal lives and jobs can't attain those standards but are being told by mommyvloggers that they're not good enough mothers if they don't get up at 5 am to carve apples for their kids Bento boxes.
Load More Replies... CatWoman312 4 years ago
Bloggers are literally living a facade life. It’s just for likes that’s all.
Lisa Shelton 4 years ago
How many people doing these blogs spend more time filming themselves doing these things for their kids than actually spending time with their kids.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 4 years ago
I'd say comparing yourself to someone's highly curated and edited picture show is the toxic part here.
Catherine Kane 4 years ago
not a lie- just one option that some people follow what's toxic is being jealous of someone who has a lifestyle you want but aren't willing to work at
Rindra Ramamonjisoa 4 years ago
I have a good morning routines, i cut my fruits in good shapes and i clean my house before going out in the morning. Why is it toxic?????
#12
Being "Obsessed" With Your Significant Other
"The idea that you guys need to be obsessed with each other when you’re in a relationship...Apparently we have to text each other every day — all day long — and if we don’t text back within a reasonable amount of time, or we don’t explain why we didn’t text back, then all of a sudden that means we’re not into you anymore. If you’re not texting each other, then you’re probably on FaceTime until your phone dies or on FaceTime until you fall asleep. And some people like to be on FaceTime while they’re asleep, which is kinda weird...
Basically dedicating all your time to your significant other — that’s kind of unhealthy. ‘Cause imagine you dedicated so much time and energy to a relationship that you had nothing else going on in your life. You’re gonna feel so broken if that relationship fails, because you got way too attached."
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Married near 30 years, and we schedule a day off from each other since Covid locked us down. Every week, a day off. It's probably why we're *still* marired, actually ;-)
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
This is normal at the start of a relationship but once you have kids, get married or love together then it can be unhealthy coz you are too reliant on one another. At the beginning your getting to know each other and in the "honeymoon phase" where everything does kinda revolve around you two.
Pauline bennett 4 years ago
Any Doctor will tell you anything that is obsessive is unhealthy physically and mentally. LOVE should not be an OBSESSION!
Celeste Grant 4 years ago
If you both want to be in contact a lot then there is nothing wrong or toxic with that! It's only problematic if one person is uncomfortable with the level of contact the other demands. If your partner texts a lot, expects you to reply straight away and makes you feel guilty if you don't reply or rarely text first then it can be toxic. My partner and I text, talk and video call probably more than a lot of couples but we both love to be in contact all the time. We don't do it because we are checking up on each other or to interrupt what the other is doing we do it because we love each other and like to feel connected when we aren't together. It's not toxic if you both are happy doing it.
MrTir 4 years ago
I wish we kept an eye, as much as we do for toxicity of a relationship, on the much needed maintenance of a relationship. Of course this is not a response to this post, or to undermine the crushing weight of obsession culture, which is in fact an issue for maintenance. But actually care for the other party is the key so long there is feelings left.
Carol Tuthill-Lewis 4 years ago (edited)
My sons last girl friend was like that. At one point he even stopped hanging with his friends so he was available for her constant texting etc.. He was emotionally exhausted by the end of their relationship. He broke up with her, finally. He felt sad but relieved. It was hard as a mom to sit back and watch this, knowing it was toxic. I did gently mention at times how I felt but rarely and only if he brought it up. I never spoke badly of her or critically. It was his decision totally. Much happier young man now, and a hard learned lesson.
Nicki 4 years ago
This is so very true! This is why I think my marriage has lasted this long (22 years), we give each other space. Just because your spouse or significant other is not hanging all over you does not mean they don't love you. A Man Cave/She Shed is a thing for a reason, we all need our own space.
#13
Beauty Standards
"Any beauty standard. It’s too much."
troufaki13 4 years ago
If we only cared about our inside (brains and soul) like we do about our looks...
Xylle Flora 4 years ago
There's a saying: Them on the outside is how you get with someone. Them on the inside is how you stay.
Javiera Gotelli 4 years ago
Beauty standards are not the problem. It's morons who follow them and base their self esteem and self worth on those standards and the opinions of other people.
Laura Maeflower 4 years ago
I wouldn't call them morons. We learn this stuff since birth, it's engrained in our parents and in our culture and every form of media. You have to unlearn these bad habits, standards and values because everyone around you is acting like those standards matter. It doesn't make you a moron, it makes you a human in the 21st century.
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Leodavinci 4 years ago
Sorry, but ideals of beauty (and so-called beauty standards) aren't going to go away. Hundreds of millions of years of reproductive evolution that has compelled every previous species (directly proceeding us humans) to do whatever it takes to attract a mate... still compels us. No amount of social engineering, altering what is acceptable to society, being "woke", nor legislation, can change that. The biological imperative beats everything.
Laura Maeflower 4 years ago
That doesn't mean the world wouldn't be better without beauty standards. Murder is human nature yet we want to get rid of that. Human nature is extremely flawed, it's our intelligence that keeps us from being like animals(though sometimes we could learn from certain animals). The beauty standards we have today have been sculpted and shaped over many many years into this very narrow picture of what ideal beauty is, but it is carried forth(most often by media) mainly to profit off of you're insecurities and desires. Its become a very unhealthy standard. I'd rather it be gone.
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#14
Being "Blunt"
"Y'all please because imma need y'all to listen to this one real quick. One of the biggest pet peeves of mine and it comes a lot in friendships and is the reason why a lot of my friendships have ended is that people will try to pass off being a complete a-hole as them being "blunt" and my thing is I get the whole "I like to tell how it is" type of thing BUT there's a difference between telling people how it is and completely bringing everyone around you and I thing a lot of people get that mixed up. And what really bothers me is that a lot of people won't see the wrong in them doing this. And then they have the nerve to be surprised when no one wants to be around them. Like sis maybe if you didn't point out all my insecurities."
Periwinkle 4 years ago
Moral of the story, don't make fun of people, they can be sensitive and won't always want to speak up about it and all you're doing is giving them the shovel to dip a deeper hole, what does it accomplish anyways? Tell it how it is? I can do that, you're just toxic.
Daria B 4 years ago (edited)
Or, only make fun of those whom you're 100% sure they're okay with it, and ONLY IF you can accept yourself being made fun of. Friends mocking each other can indicate some healthy bonding. However, do not cross the limit of what's acceptable. Where's the limit? Observe and learn. It differs by individual.
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A.M. Pierre 4 years ago
I've never met someone who liked to say "I'm just honest" who was also a nice person. A line I heard once (paraphrasing) was "You're not honest. You're cruel and trying to pass it off as a virtue."
Liam Walsh 4 years ago
Yep! A friend of mine was extolling the virtues of a friend of hers and telling me 'she tells it like it is' and is 'blunt'. Further investigating revealed a person who was actually just rude. Saying everything that crosses your mind is not a virtue. Most of us learn to filter these things because it's only kind to take into account the feelings of others.
Load More Replies... Stephanie Did It 4 years ago
TL:DR "I don't like it when people make lame excuses for being RUDE."
Aamna Shah 4 years ago
Can we also stop using the word insecure as an insult? We're all insecure about something and it's not fruitful to attack someone on their insecurities unless they're crossing a line.
Analyn Lahr 4 years ago
Yeah, my aunt is like this. She claims she's honest and doesn't mince words but she's really a bitter bitch who should never have had children.
OhForSmegSake 4 years ago
I had a friend who thought that tactfulness and politeness was just lying so he would be blunt and brutal with truths but couldn't take it when people spoke to him the same way. Big mouth, tiny ego
Load More Replies... Susan Stead 4 years ago
"Bluntness" is a form of bullying, and that's all there is to it. My grandmother was blunt, and I (along with the rest of my family) despised her. Among her many criticisms, she had no trouble whatsoever with telling you that you're fat, straight to your face and unvarnished. I finally cussed her out one day when I'd had enough. "B*tch, I have a mirror. Shut your mouth before I get the superglue." Thanks to her "bluntness," she was buried alone (yes, we waited until she was dead before burying her), and to this day, I don't think anybody's shed a tear for her. I can't imagine why anyone would consider that to be some kind of virtue.
David Retsler 4 years ago
I prefer people being blunt with me instead of sugar-coating everything. I don't have time to listen to bullshit. Get to the point and move on.
Pamela Blue 4 years ago
There's being honest and there's being tactful. I value honesty, but I value kindness more.
Load More Replies... Laura Maeflower 4 years ago
They're wanting to point out something bad, and excuse it as being blunt and trying to help. If they wanted to help they would tell you with kindness and wouldn't get satisfaction out of it.
#15
Impulse Shopping
"Impulse shopping isn't a problem. It's a symptom of a deeper problem."
Ian Milne 4 years ago
I don’t get the morality behind this one. It just seems to legitimise and excuse the behaviour, so long as the person has other problems. You can pretty much claim any behavioural trait is a result of other problems - the persons upbringing, emotional intelligence, media influence, etc. This post is basically saying “it’s not my fault”, this isn’t a precursor to resolving the issue in my opinion.
David Retsler 4 years ago
Impulse shopping is fostered by "profit uber alles" companies that will use any and every trick they can to entice you to buy their s**t.
Javiera Gotelli 4 years ago
Impulse shopping, eating/drinking like there's no tomorrow, and then complainin, whining and blaming society for your lack of self control is something I will never tolerate.
Leodavinci 4 years ago
Yeah... getting that package of gum or a candy bar at the register is a sign of a serious neurosis.
OhForSmegSake 4 years ago
Grabbing gum is not a problem, being unable to leave ANY store with out purchasing items you don't need and ending up in serious is a problem. Now with easy online shopping, and differed payment options like openpay and zippay, its getting worse. It's often an addictive behaviour and can be used to get a small high. Many compulsive shoppers have other issues in their lives and are using the small high they get from making a purchase to cope.
Load More Replies... Juan Alcorta 4 years ago
Let´s face it, it´s the low wages and salaries the problem. If we were rich, shopping would not be something to worry about.
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
And I'm still not going to walk past that yummy cashmere sweater at 60% off. If you don't like it, get stuffed.
Joey Marlin 4 years ago
That's surely fine if it's a great sweater and a great bargain. Isn't the point that it's a problem if people regularly do it because they're trying to fill a deeper hole in their life? Which would be fair enough if it worked but it doesn't. A friend of mine was always buying clothes because it gave her a lift at the time. Never lasted long because it wasn't solving the things that really were making her unhappy. So off she would shop again and again.
Load More Replies... Liam Walsh 4 years ago
The article is broader than just relationships though - it's about glamorising things that are toxic.
Load More Replies... #16
Working Two Or Three Jobs
"Working two or three jobs just to survive and make ends meet so you don't even have time for your family."
N G 4 years ago
So letting society get to that point is toxic. Voting in successive governments who "promote" side hustles instead of legislating a livable minimum wage. Unregulated rents, or encouraging the buy-to-let trend as a way to boost pension savings, forcing up house prices, and subsequently rent prices. Not taking those with the money and power to task when they do something demonstrably wrong, but they'll keep getting away with it BECAUSE they have money and power. Society is toxic. These are just the small pieces of what is broken
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Susan Stead 4 years ago
Yeah, what's so glamorous about desperation? You're teetering on the brink of financial ruin, to the point where you're working more than you're sleeping, and that's supposed to be glamorous?
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Yes, I have no time, but I have a roof over our heads, and food, and electricity, and running water. Kinda like those.... Nobody glamorizes this that I've seen.
Lisa Shelton 4 years ago
What's toxic is the person who works 80 hours a week when they don't have to because they tell themselves that's what people who succeed do, or because they don't know how to connect with their family so they escape to work.
JESSE REED 4 years ago
There are people who work one job that takes them away from their family all day, is that toxic too?
Teucer T 4 years ago
The problem, as I explained to my own children, is unrealistic expectations. Yes, I own a house in a great neighborhood... But do you REALLY think the neighborhood was like that when I bought the house? No... The parks, schools, shopping districts, etc came MUCH later... After I and all the other people living there worked our asses off to make it that way. If you are thinking you can afford a home in an established neighborhood at age 25, that's not how it works. Your best bet is finding an undeveloped neighborhood and growing it to suit... Like the previous generations did.
#17
Mental Health Issues
"Mental health issues. Having a mental issues is not a little quirk of personality, no that's not it. And it's the same people that get upset when people don't take their mental health seriously but when you treat is as a quirk who is gonna take it seriously. Those people that literally sit their and brag about having depression, oh yeah I haven't cleaned my room in a week because I have depression, oh yeah I haven't showered in like a couple of days because I have depression. Like OKAY see therapist."
Helen Haley 4 years ago
I don't think that's bragging, that is usually a cry for help or hurting out loud. I mean, if it is real, not if they're just faking for attention.
TheSarkica 4 years ago
I always found this interesting because if you feel the need to fake something for attention you probably have some kind of problem and it probably a cry for help and they're just not asking for it the right way. It is bad to fake something for attention because it makes it harder for those with an actual problem to get help but I feel like maybe those that do fake things for attention have a problem as well that needs to be solved. I hope it makes sense what I'm trying to say.
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Kathryn Bain 4 years ago
a) this is no bragging, it's part of depression to be self-destructive and have negative thinking b) access to therapy is a luxury not everyone can afford
pusheen buttercup 4 years ago
I don't know if they're bragging, some may be, but some may be trying to feel less alone or reach out for help. Some may also be practicing discussing those sort of problems for the first time. Simultaneously, some with depression (and/or other forms of mental illness) may become obsessive about it or saying that they have depression to salve a different and perhaps undiagnosed problem.
Lxm 4 years ago (edited)
This is off the mark I think. I'm receiving help at present. If you can't get up and can't shower you can't call your dr either. Sometimes you need help with the impossible task. Also, when I've made similar statements I usually lack the ability to phrase it any other way. My comments now only go to drs as responses like the above are harmful. There is nothing glamorous about mental health issues.
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
Mental illness is alternately stigmatized and trivialized. Meanwhile, real people are suffering. I have it and I work in a homeless shelter. I see real mental illness everyday.
Stille20 4 years ago
This post is kind of toxic...You assume these people are bragging? Maybe they just want someone to see they aren't okay. I would never post like that, but this post is making a judgment on people who are already having trouble coping.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
if someone with clinical depression is happy to get a task done? That's b/c it is a HUGE thing for that person to get it done.
Load More Replies... Lxm 4 years ago
Yip. You just can't. 1st thing drs always say when fighting depression is about self care. It's not that you don't want to shower the process can be just too mentally overwhelming.
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Casey Payne 4 years ago
I'm not sure what the actual complaint is in this post. I hate to be a grammar pig, but the lack of a sentence structure makes your statement incredibly confusing. Are you complaining about someone specific to you that doesn't take their mental illness seriously, or are you complaining about mental illness being exaggerated in general? I can't tell if I should empathise with your situation or tell you your opinion sucks. If I open up about what is going on in my head, the last thing I want from my circle of friends is their judgement or being called a faker, drama queen or braggart. If you are doing that to a friend, please stop.
Laura Maeflower 4 years ago
I think that's the point. There are some immature, shallow people that brag or flaunt that they're depressed or have so much anxiety, when in fact it's just normal healthy life struggles(and for this argument we're assuming that these people definitely do not have mental illness). This makes it difficult to spot when someone is actually speaking about/referring to their real depression, anxiety, or any mental illness. One person is crying wolf when their is none, and the other is crying wolf when their is a wolf, but because of the first person everyone now thinks the second person isn't serious.
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Annabella Li 4 years ago
I once had OCD and depression at the same time, (obsessive thoughts, thoughts in a loop, complete absence of motivation and emotion, to name a few) this person (person who wrote #17) clearly has absolutely no idea what it feels like to go through hell.........I bet this person also thinks that depression is just feeling sad and that OCD is just obsessive organization
Unaffected 4 years ago
As a health professional I find this to be a bit rough and judgmental.Depression can be so crippling that people literally can't get out of the bed for a month.Instead of judging I would offer my help, cook them a meal and even clean their room.
#18
Presenting A "Perfect" Marriage
"The perfect marriage that you think you have, that you post all over social media. You’re trying to set some kind of standard that’s impossible. Marriage is hard; it’s not always fun. It takes patience and work and compromise. And if you have issues in your marriage, you’re not broken — you’re normal. Because no one in marriage is perfect."
Lis A 4 years ago
Ok but, since you're focused on what's posted online, do you expect me to post a video of an argument? What are you getting at? Yes, there's work involved, no, I don't need to share our little struggles on social media.
Esca Sav 4 years ago
I think it has to do with being obsessed with looking like someone has a great marriage. Validation from the internet audience. I have a friend who was absolutely obsessed with social media and the idea of a beautiful marriage that in a sense she completely ignored how her "partner" didn't even want to get married. It needs to look perfect online, let's ignore reality and how my relationship is falling apart in real life. Problems don't need to be posted online, that's not the point. This isn't particularly about normal partners online that we're discussing, but people that are obsessed with "likes" and only do everything "perfect" so they can get that online validation. Posting wedding pics is fine, but there are some clear accounts online that you can see is completely for show. They scream "fake." I'd pull up an example, but honestly don't want to put anyone on the spot. Not sure if I explained it well, but this type of stuff is definitely toxic when you see it first hand.
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WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Social media are todays photo albums. You'll only find the happy moments because no one going to record the fights, arguments and discussions they had.
Daria B 4 years ago
This is very well said. Also, when you're in trouble, it's not like you have the time or means to record it anyway. Unless you're part of a reality show, or something. Talking publicly about your troubles works better through contents produced AFTER it happened, can as well serve as a way of reflection and, hopefully, to find a solution.
Load More Replies... Laura Maeflower 4 years ago
Oddly enough, my husbands parents never fought. Like if they disagreed they'd quietly discuss it in another room. So when I got upset or annoyed with my husband and used an annoyed tone, he thought it was dysfunctional. Add other people's self portrayal on social media and you can see why he thought that. It's a unique situation, and he had to learn, without the help of stupid media, that it was normal to get upset or annoyed with your spouse.
Aamna Shah 4 years ago (edited)
I don't find this toxic per se. Everyone puts their best foot forward. A happy couple's picture once in a while is absolutely fine. Celebrating your love for each other is absolutely fine. What I do find inappropriate (in my opinion) is how some people do it every day and act like relationship gurus telling people what to do and what not to do in their relationships on social media. You're not an expert, nobody is. Humans are diverse and so are relationships. Enjoy your happiness but don't impose your judgement on others.
Javiera Gotelli 4 years ago
If you need to show people how happy you are, then you're not happy at all. You wouldn't need people to reassure you, let alone "admire" you if you were actually happy. Seeking approval from others, especially strangers, is just pathetic.
Nicki 4 years ago
I always tell my kids, "you never know what goes on behind closed doors (or not posted on social media)." People that look like the perfect couple may be just putting powder sugar on $hit. Our kids know it is not always rainbows and butterflies. The key is to not run away every time you have a fight. You might need some time to cool down, but get to the root problem after that.
#19
Trying To Change Someone
"People who think it's a goal or make it their mission to change someone. Not only is that a waste of your both their time because in my personal opinion people don't change they become what they were supposed to be. In some instances you can help somebody to help who they are or whatever but at the end of the day they did it themselves, honestly I don't think you get to take that credit. You are taking their moment of self discovery or their self-love and acting like it's your responsibility, or that you're the reason for it. Not saying that you can make somebody happy, but at the end of the day happiness with oneself must be found by oneself. They have to to realize that they're happy you can't make it happen. So to think that you can change someone, their attitude, their style, whatever you can possibly to all that but it's not gonna do as much good as you think. At the end of the day you are turning them what you want them to be instead of who they're meant to be and that's selfish."
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I disagree with this somewhat. People do change, I have seen it first hand and not just small changes but HUGE life changing ones (for the better). But it is the individual themselves that can do the changing (if they choose to). Never go into a relationship if one of your goals is to change the person.
Xylle Flora 4 years ago
Like the people in my life who think it's their number one priority to make me come out of my shell. Like dude I'm in it for a reason and besides it only helps me.
Eva Verde 4 years ago
In my relationship we are completely different. My partner is extrovert, loves being around people, loves change, traveling, gets bored easily, cannot stay in one place or or follow routines. I am just the opposite. With him I started to go out of my shell more often to do things with him. I enjoy some of it, but I still need my safe routines, peace and quiet and whatever he thinks is boring. When we have arguments, he sometimes says that "he keeps pushing me to HELP me to become MORE NORMAL". He thinks that me being me is not normal, because he is different... We usually smooth it over, but after 7 years I still don't 100% know, if I am some kind of a project for him, you know, to fix me up?
Shazz Winchester 4 years ago
Sometimes we need someone to let us know what we are doing is not okay, depends entirely on the behavior we are looking at I would say. "Verbal abuser, don't be verbally abusive" is for me okay to point out, might help someone grow.
Javiera Gotelli 4 years ago
Trying to *make* someone change, or changing for any reason but because YOU want to change, is not only toxic, but plain stupid.
Debra Hapke 4 years ago
I would only say word this differently. First sentence makes sense, after that....the pic that says " 101 essays that will change the way you think " speaks VOLUMES. I think the way I do because of the experiences I've had, now tell me to change my thoughts. they are my thoughts. my perspective can change if you give me a different point of view, but i will still see my POV. DO NOT TELL ME IT WILL CHANGE THE WAY I THINK.
uber mensch 4 years ago
If you didn't like who/what they are in the first place, why did you stay with them? And if you're going to make them "better", don't turn around and complain because they aren't the person you fell in " love" with!
#20
Taking People For Granted
"For me, it’s people who think that caring the least is cool and [that] it gives you an upper hand over people who care about you. That’s so toxic. If you value them and want them in your life, show up for them in your way — in the best way you can. But don’t treat people less than just because you know they care about you and they’ll be there for you. Don’t [take them for granted] because you think they’ll always be there, because one day you’ll wake up and they won’t be. And let’s care about people who care about us, and let’s show up for each other."
JLH 4 years ago
For men it is, at least in our culture. Caring too much or relying on someone else is seen as a weakness. Independence is strength. "Stay, go, what do I care? You came here to see me, I don't need you. You mean you actually care about that? Lame." All lies, but it's the rule of manhood for some damned reason.
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Prignon Yves 4 years ago (edited)
IDK, I don't expect my friends to do anything for me, I don't need an every month phone call to feel that I exists and that they still care about me... They do what they want and I myself don't care too much about showing them I'm still there. My friends know they can count on me even if we did not see each other or call each other for a year.
Laura Maeflower 4 years ago
I think it's a way to keep people distant emotionally and also not having to put anything into a relationship but still receiving from that relationship. It is toxic. You also shouldn't be giving into a relationship for the only reason but to get things out of it, there should be a part of you that acts on love and care for the other person as well.
#21
"Being A "Ride Or Die"
"Being a "ride or die.""
aj B 4 years ago
From what I've seen of it's use it's a concept of a friend who is with you no matter what, "Oh you want to jump the grand canyon in a monster truck? Let's GO!" extreme example but sort of the gist, if I'm interpreting the usage I've seen correctly.
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Pezor Zass 4 years ago
i haven't had this experience of people with their friends, but i know ride or die families and they're usually the worst people. They literally don't care how badly their relative behaved, say anything negative and they swarm you like angry wasps.
Rae Black 4 years ago
I never understood what that meant. It sounds kinda cool, I guess, but what is it?
Jennifer Gould 4 years ago
In the US it is used too much to mean someone you would do anything for. Believe it was a biker term initially. Your best friend or significant other is your "ride or die" meaning they will do anything for you (ride - go through ups and downs in life) (die- literally die for them). Its just used so much now it just means someone REALLY important to you.
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California Jones 4 years ago
I love my ride or die best friend. She's the only person I trust with a lot of things. I think it's crazy important to have a person who you tell everything and has your back in any situation. Every Este needs a Taylor, every Leslie needs an Anne, every Meredith needs a Christina.
Jitka Svobodová 4 years ago
Oh god, the girl in the middle looks exactly like I did when I was younger... She even has very similar rings on the left hand like I wear... Its not me, but I had to look really closely to be sure (also I don't know the guy, the curly hair girl is also quite similar to one of my friends... Weird)
#22
"No New Friends"
"This concept of ‘no new friends’ — we gotta cut that out. You close yourself off from meeting people who could become a better friend than the one that you have. ‘Cause that friend is probably toxic."
Aunt Messy 4 years ago
I have, but I don't know why the poster thinks that keeping old friends is evil. Then again, I'm an introvert. I have three friends. Period.
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Green Panda 4 years ago
Its sad hw true that is. Especially when you don't make new friends and you are stuck with a toxic friend that ruins your life.
JessRS 4 years ago
But that's a choice. If you have a toxic friend, ditch them, whether you have new friends or not keeping a toxic friend is a decision you're making.
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#23
Rude Significant Other
"When people say, 'I want a significant other that is rude and mean and not friendly to anybody.' Girl, no one's gonna cheat on you. It's okay"
Daria B 4 years ago
Maybe part of the "bad boy = attractive" trope? Don't know, just guessing.
Load More Replies... Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago (edited)
Why would anyone choose/want a relationship with someone horrible? If they are an awful person to others then high chances they would be awful to you too.
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
Maybe as a project? Not enough drama so enliven things? I dunno.
Load More Replies... California Jones 4 years ago
I get it, nice people bug the crap out of me, and I could never be attracted to them, IDK why. I love an ass. Someone who always has a comeback, and knows how to cut you. A predator.
Bleeding-Angel 4 years ago
I just tried to fix the person I was with, he had a lot of issues and we clicked in the beginning but then he revealed his true colors.
What do you think ?
chi-wei shen 4 years ago
I rarely downvote an entire post but this time I did. Many entries in this list are so extremely oversimplified they became meaningless. Some of them are outright nonsense.
Hans 4 years ago
While I scrolled through this list, I wondered why I would agree that many undesirable phenomena were listed but I still could not relate to any of these. Then it became apparent to me: because I do not glamorize, this concept is absent in my mindset. Maybe that is the solution?
Dave In MD 4 years ago
Amazing how people have figured everything out and know everything now. And in 20 or 30 years people will look back at now with the same distain that some people have for the past.
Pauline bennett 4 years ago
Most of this can be blamed on Social Media. You can lie - make yourself something your not. Influence people in the wrong way. I know it is freedom of speech but look what it did for your former President. He incited a riot on your capital resulting in unforgivable deaths! Think people. Straiten up and fly right!
Lea S. 4 years ago
I'm confused. When/where are these being romanticized? I've never gotten that impression and I recognized most of the clips. No one thinks being an alcoholic is a good thing, wine culture does not equal alcoholism. There are lots of blogs/books/celebrities/profiles etc. about the serious hardships of parenting, and people are coming out all over expressing that they may not want children and that's okay. And the last one? Dear God - that wasn't romanticized. Jennifer Grey's character was a snot - and she chose that man to be a snot. He wasn't her significant other. I've never heard someone say "I want a significant other that is rude and mean to everyone." This isn't the norm, or a 'trope,' or something being romanticized.
CatWoman312 4 years ago
I had to stop. This article was pointless and most of the posts had nothing to do with actual relationships
Carrie Laughs 4 years ago
Why do you think this article was about relationships? Some posts were but overall it was about things we glamorize that are probably toxic.
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chi-wei shen 4 years ago
I rarely downvote an entire post but this time I did. Many entries in this list are so extremely oversimplified they became meaningless. Some of them are outright nonsense.
Hans 4 years ago
While I scrolled through this list, I wondered why I would agree that many undesirable phenomena were listed but I still could not relate to any of these. Then it became apparent to me: because I do not glamorize, this concept is absent in my mindset. Maybe that is the solution?
Dave In MD 4 years ago
Amazing how people have figured everything out and know everything now. And in 20 or 30 years people will look back at now with the same distain that some people have for the past.
Pauline bennett 4 years ago
Most of this can be blamed on Social Media. You can lie - make yourself something your not. Influence people in the wrong way. I know it is freedom of speech but look what it did for your former President. He incited a riot on your capital resulting in unforgivable deaths! Think people. Straiten up and fly right!
Lea S. 4 years ago
I'm confused. When/where are these being romanticized? I've never gotten that impression and I recognized most of the clips. No one thinks being an alcoholic is a good thing, wine culture does not equal alcoholism. There are lots of blogs/books/celebrities/profiles etc. about the serious hardships of parenting, and people are coming out all over expressing that they may not want children and that's okay. And the last one? Dear God - that wasn't romanticized. Jennifer Grey's character was a snot - and she chose that man to be a snot. He wasn't her significant other. I've never heard someone say "I want a significant other that is rude and mean to everyone." This isn't the norm, or a 'trope,' or something being romanticized.
CatWoman312 4 years ago
I had to stop. This article was pointless and most of the posts had nothing to do with actual relationships
Carrie Laughs 4 years ago
Why do you think this article was about relationships? Some posts were but overall it was about things we glamorize that are probably toxic.
Load More Replies... You May Like 150 Toxic Relationship Quotes To Stop Hurting Yourself And Let Go 48 Things From The ’90s That People From That Decade Like To Gloat About
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