40 Of The Funniest Things People Overheard In Courthouses, As Shared On This Instagram Page (New Posts)
All the Law And Order fans, pull your seats closer! This time, we are diving deep into courthouse drama with real emotions, high stakes, and unprecedented cases. Except we will not be watching them but rather hearing them firsthand.
Well, almost. Thanks to this smashing Instagram page known as “Overheard Courthouse,” there are tons of hilarious conversations people overheard in court that ended up in its feed. Witnesses, defendants, judges, prosecutors, respondents… all come together in these totally real and some made-up dialogues that are worthy of a Tarantino movie.
Scroll down below for our selection of the funniest Overheard Courthouse conversations and be sure to check out part 1 of the article.
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I can't believe we haven't updated what constitutes a grand theft or felony case to reflect the costs and inflation of things nowadays. An 18 year old can steel a phone and have a felony record for life. That just seems crazy.
Eh? Why would you think that theft of a phone costing hundreds of dollarpounds should be considered a minor offence?
Load More Replies...Was the defendant named James, wearing a shirt with a big 'R' on it, and and had a Weezing tagging along? XP
This is the state we are in. I dont want to blame the internet, but.....
YES! This is the comment I was looking for and if I didn’t find it I would have said it.
Load More Replies...PSL,"I object!" Judge, "Why?" PSL,"Because the sky is cloudy, but she said that it's sunny outside." Judge, "You can't just yell 'Objection!' because you don't like the answer to your own question." lol 😆 Love this Judge!
Please, we're in a courtroom- let's keep it professional Mr. Spaghetti.
this shouldn't have made me laugh so hard. ...shut up and take my upvote =-=
Load More Replies...I almost named a fictional goat Johnny Rigatoni!!!
Load More Replies...Eddie Spaghetti and the Mighty Meaty Meatballs!!!!! Another great rock band name 30 years too late.
And I just now realized that my husband can be BRetty Spaghetti!! I’m so excited :D lol
Load More Replies...Ok for the record is that Eddie Chef Boyardee Spaghetti?
Previously, Bored Panda spoke with the creator of the Overheard Courthouse Instagram account who said that it all started with @attorney.memes in 2018.
“While I was growing that account, I decided to start an account similar to the likes of @overheardla and @overheardnewyork that would detail all the unusual things that are heard in courtrooms,” the creator told us.
At first, the page was posting transcripts of trials collected from various websites they found online. But when the account grew in popularity, the followers began sending them transcripts from their own depositions/trials and unusual statements that they had personally heard. “So the account started to form its own identity,” the creator recounted.
Was it a dine and dash situation? Should this be theft instead of prostitution charges?
I'm resisting the urge to come up with a clever equivalent to Dine 'n' Dash for this situation. :-)
Load More Replies...Wow, I really want to hear the backstory on this one. What was he charged with?
Had to check. 7 month old heifers weigh at around 200 kg. Seems large enough for me ;)
Depends on the breed a bit. If they're Jerseys they're smol :D
Load More Replies...Totally! It's common for cows to be grazing in my dad's yard, but he doesn't own any cows.
Load More Replies...I would love to see some seven month old cows running around my neighbourhood 😍
I run at large every time I go grocery shopping. I can't be out of my introvert den for very long.
The person who runs Overheard Courthouse argues that the reason why courtrooms are the perfect place for hilarious conversations is that there is the clash between the etiquette that’s required in a courtroom vs. life outside the courtroom.
Moreover, according to the creator, “Many people outside of the justice system aren’t aware that there’s a certain demeanor expected while in the presence of the court that differs from today’s social norms which tend to be more informal.” When you put someone who’s not familiar with the etiquette that is expected in a courtroom, it makes for some hilarious moments.
I wonder how many prescriptions and how much money this would save annually? Add "Fantastic A*****e" to the DSM-5
If you're going to be an a**hole at least be a fantastic one!
Hahaha 😁, you'd think they'd brief a officer on how to answer these types of questions before they get to court.
Load More Replies...On Hollywood Squares about 100 years ago, Paul Lynde was asked "in what state was Lincoln born?" His reply, "same as everyone else - naked and screaming."
The difference is that Lynde was instructed to give & got paid for nonsensical responses. That was a feature of an otherwise bland game.
Load More Replies...Weird, I thought steel and petroleum were the main exports of Mexico.
That's why he had to go to Mexico. The tacos & b!tches are being reserved for domestic consumption 🐶
Load More Replies...The creator explained further: “These individuals are usually known in the U.S. justice system as being 'pro se' or 'pro per' depending on the jurisdiction. The submissions involving pro pers are some of the funniest ones because not only do you have someone who may not be familiar with courtroom etiquette, but they’re placing themselves in a position where they’re not trained or experienced to handle their case and all the complexities and nuances that may come with it, which leads to some hilarious moments,” they told us in a previous interview.
My ex’s written response, “defense” at the restraint order hearing: “It’s not true that I knocked her down. She was already sitting down when I hit her.” Bam! 3 year order granted
Is it bad that based on the language used that I am assuming this took place in Australia?
It wouldn't be so horrible there, as they use the c word as a term of affection.
Load More Replies...Judge: Agreed! Defendant, you are hereby ordered to refer to officer Baggins by his real name!
Filthy hobbitses... They arrested us! They framed us!
Load More Replies...Their self depreciating humor is a unfortunate sign of the difficulties that they're having dealing with the loss of their first marriage.
I can only imagine what his wife or her husband thought hearing that, depending on was representing the state at that moment. That sounds like the irritation of a bitter ex-husband whose ex-wife did something terrible to him!
Cocaine is still legally used as a medication in the USA.
Load More Replies...Idiot attorney. Just answer the question asked and don't incriminate your client with irrelevant extra information. If the defendant took a variety of prescribed drugs say "yes, your honor" else say "no, your honor". The defendant neatly derailed the question & you effed it up🐶
Cocaine is available as a prescription medication in the USA. Quote: “Cocaine is a Schedule II drug under the Controlled Substances Act, meaning it has a high potential for abuse and has an accepted medical use for treatment in the United States. - US Drug Enforcement Administration, Drug Fact Sheet: Cocaine, 2020. Quote: “Cocaine is a local anesthetic. It is applied to certain areas of the body to cause loss of feeling or numbness.” Mayo Clinic, Drugs and Supplements: Cocaine, 2022.
Yet for some reason MJ is still schedule 1🙃🌲🌲🌲
Load More Replies...Old timey doctor- "Your wife, who had 3 kids and 0 orgasms this year, cries all the time. It's obvious she has ghosts in her blood! Here's directions to the pharmacy, get her some cocaine and morphine! Don't worry, you don't need a prescription, it's over the counter! “
Cocaine is still used, but not as outpatient medication, generally. Usually anesthesic
This reminds me of a story my mother told me. She always had trouble with sinus congestion and way back when doctors would use cocaine to treat it. So my mother asked her doctor for a dose at the office (by that time they were not handing out prescriptions to take home anymore). The doctor complied but then told my mother not to ask again. This puzzled my mother because she was so innocent that she did not realize that people could get high off of the stuff. This was before illegal drugs were a huge problem in the US.
No but you can for heroin. Most of the opioids are chemically similar to heroin.
Poor defense attorney. Their client is making the job exceedingly difficult.
Load More Replies...Defendant: "Go f*** yourself!" Judge:"I would like the record to reflect that the defendant proceeded to tell the court to go and be fruitful on their own." Stenographer: *sob*
Sounds like the judge just got a couple more charges that he could add, if he wants. Such as indecent exposure and contempt of court 🙄 😑, lol
He's mighty brave showing his @$$ in jail. There may be some other inmates that take him up on that offering
I can only imagine what the stenographer must’ve been thinking: “Oh, boy, here we go….”
No outing. Apparently there was a hostile breakup (her brother no longer talks to cousin) when they discovered they were close relatives
Load More Replies...Poor person. This did not mean that they were stupid, just did not understand the question. It happens to all of us one time or another. Or They might have been mentally challenged and nobody knew.
Exactly, or maybe not a native English speaker/not been through the education system in this country.
Load More Replies...I would not like to interact with any of those people laughing at a poor guy's mistake.
Or ... Maybe don't have such a thin skin? It's good to be able to laugh at yourself. Mistakes shouldn't mean your whole world crumbles if someone else thinks your mistake is funny.
Load More Replies...This is truly both an indictment of our education system and judicial system...
If he was any smarter, he'd probably sentence himself.
Load More Replies...This is, actually, a good statement by the defendant. Yes, 12 months is a year, but there is a difference in perception. Imagine for a moment the attorney said 8760 hours. Technically it also is a year, but gives a notion of "yeah, i counted every single one of them". "More like a year" here not only states the time, but also the scale. We are not counting months, hours or weeks any more, we are counting years.
Colds will last you 7 long days. Take cold medicine and it's only a short week.
Load More Replies...Let's really mess with him and sentence him to 5yrs or 60 months, your choice sir.
Judge jokes are worse than dad jokes because if you groan at a dad joke, he won't find you in contempt of court.
Oh my Rao, where's a babelfish or universal translator when you need one
We once had a case dismissed because the defendant was deaf and didn't understand english. It was easier to just drop it. [petty stuff anyway]
Hmmm....he didn't seem to need a translater to respond to the judge by whispering to the baliff.
do you have time machines and above-light-speed technology yet? if so, you could probably just go over to star wars and grab 3cpo
Load More Replies...All too often many people who are very intelligent and excel in their studies at school, lack what some consider common sense issues. A good example being the attorney in the post above.
Sounds like a circulation problem. That position encourages blood to return to the heart when you have edema in lower legs and feet.
Maybe it was more than obvious to the judge after the marriage proposal, that the respondent wasn't competent enough to participate that day.
Must be the over-the-hill papaya gang if they're only able to get 3 at a time
Load More Replies...Sounds like a wealthy or well off person objecting to a person who is not well off coming onto their property to pick fruit that was probably going bad anyway. So yes, it went to court, because that's how the law works for people with money.
Load More Replies...The fact that the prosecutor has dealt with cases involving papayas 😂
"Curse you Perry the platypus!" I love Perry the platypus!
Load More Replies..."If I had a nickel for every case involving papayas, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."
Was that a precedent for legal recognition of the afterlife?
I think it may be a case of defamation against a deceased person. There was a case earlier this year where a guy claimed Sandy Hook was a hoax and that no one actually died, one set of parents and an attorney of the deceased children had to actually go to court to testify. So it can happen.
Load More Replies...That is some commitment... I do not know if I will ever worry about court so much to attend even after I have already passed. I might be allowed to go/do somewhere/something else at that point, I hope. :)
Hmm, wonder if they were a professional dancer and trying to impress the judge or a amateur trying to impress the judge, or either one just dancing for shîts and giggles???
I’m betting the DDA realized that the client was able to make a circus of the trial! I’m curious what happened after that!
Prison Zoom in the courts is a boon to all mankind! Damn, for some people, a court appearance just turns right into open mic night at the club.
Idk if I can blame the poor kids for being upset. While their anger is misdirected, the adults are definitely not taking responsibility with their children or it wouldn't be happening. Really sad for these poor kids.
I think the word for this is consequences, which an awful lot of people don't understand or expect.
Piano wires and salmon? Wow that sounds like an interesting murder case!
There’s definitely something fishy going on here.
Load More Replies...My version, dad invites the people he is planning to rob and kill to his house for dinner, he serves the salmon he caught himself. The son sits in his car waiting for a signal from his father, he is both a piano teacher and tuner so has a legitimate reason for having piano wire on his person, he sneaks into the house via a side door and creeps up behind the victim and strangles them using the piano wire. Both men then take the body to the nearby cliffs and throw then into the ocean.
Load More Replies..."Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You ate my father's salmon. Prepare to die."
*Father and son planning the murder*: "And we're gonna meet at a fancy restaurant with salmon and piano music, and this murder will be classy as f*ck."
That's all we get?!?! Salmon and piano wire and we only get a teaser!? I want the rest of the episode!
I know it sounds awful, but having salmon as your last meal is not the worst thing.
I’m curious what the full story was now! I imagine the attorney was not happy when he realized he may have betrayed his client!
I mean it could be argued that it shows a demonstrable lack of good judgement.
As a Cowboys fan, I want to mad about your statement but really I can't.
Load More Replies...I will fake knowledge and b******t about sports in opposition to a judge if it gets me out of jury duty.
True story I was rejected from serving on the Hernandez case in CT because I am a Steelers fan and said that New England Patriots are cheaters and should rot in hell. I found out during the case as one of the lawyers on my case teaches criminal law at the university I graduated from. B.s in the field of science of criminal justice
It wouldn't work, but it would be funny as hell to watch! GSR isn't quite as easy to remove as people think, even washing hands. Tiny bits of residue can remain, especially in nooks and crannies. Human hands, even after washing, are still petri dishes.
Load More Replies...Defendant was trying to remove the residue from her hands
Load More Replies...Without the screenshot isn't so funny (if you don't get it click on the link below the picture)
I saw a clip of a case where the defendant logged on as B*ttf*cker3000. Judge was not happy.( Both asterisks are the same vowel)
This isn’t fair. Court mandated urine tests are observed- someone is watching the stream leave your body and anger the container. Personally I had major pee anxiety under these circumstances and was unable to go so yeah.
It would be hard to pee into an angry container - what if it tries to bite?
Load More Replies...It blows my mind that people STILL think people can p**s on command...
If i go to the gyno i need to chug water for hours beforehand. That's just from knowing it's needed, not being watched. I think this judge missed empathy 201 where you learn that not all ppl work exactly like you do.
Load More Replies...If he has to pee that often he needs to be checked for diabetes or enlarged prostrate. Not everyone can pee that frequently or on demand. Shoot, thinking about it has made me need to go.....
What an idiot. Chock this type of stupidity meshed with power as another reason why I have no faith in our judicial system across the board.
Dad's attorney the day before: "Try to find a calming and quiet environment for the call." Dad's attorney now: 🤦🏽
Before: "If you get nervous, imagine everyone naked." After: "I said imagine everyone, not literally yourself."
Load More Replies...That actually sounds better in his favor. At least it wouldn't have been a planned interference with the court appearance. As it stands now, he had a court appointment and knowingly while on video call, he decided to take a bath instead of being fully present for the hearing and his child/children. I think it reinforces the fact that he may not be making the best decisions regarding his priorities and children. It wouldn't look like he was taking the court appearance very seriously.
Load More Replies...Odd choice of seating arrangement when you should be trying to make a good impression. Or maybe... he didn't want custody of the kids...
Maybe he spilled something sticky or a chemical irritant all over him and needed to wash it away right away.
“Your honor my client both likes and has big butts and cannot lie, as he is under oath.” “The jury cannot deny.”
Gotta sit on it to keep it warm. Noone likes a cold saw.
Load More Replies...If he indeed warmly sits,you must acquits! ( Slinking away , I'll See y'all later)
So I think the person sat down without looking and sat on the saw
Load More Replies...Tbf if you took the first question as meaning about the ... Incident that resulted the police being there, and the second meaning conversing it would be correct. Although interpreting is a grey area in legal cases
Telepathically. We spoke telepathically. Or sign language. I suppose speaking in hands works, too.
40 per month? Tell me the judge is a man without telling me the judge is a man.
(I'm assuming you think that 40 is an unreasonably high number) Hey some guys think women only need 1 for their entire period. Also not everyone's periods are 4 or 5 days, some women have periods that can be 8 days. And with something like tampons or pads it's definitely better to have a few extra than not enough!
Load More Replies..."Real men" don't buy those things. Says no actual adult ever.
Load More Replies...Imagine that your own father refuses to buy you sanitary products, yet he's STILL the best parent you have.
I think it's more like he's struggling to afford necessities like pads
Load More Replies...Because if she gave the dad money, he'd spend it on himself. Makes sense to me.
Wow. If you are using 40 tampons a month I'd say it's time to see a gynecologist and get on some period control pills or get an IUD. I had heavy periods as a teen and wish I would have got on the pill sooner. Then I discovered the IUD so I haven't had to buy tampons since Obama made IUDs free with the ACA.
How often they are changed may depend on the preference of the person using them.
Load More Replies...I just read these comments and didn't know chicks was out here bleeding to death erry month😱😱 40 tampons in a month?😱😱😱
40 is a little excessive, but not that unusual for a teen with an undiagnosed menstrual disorder (more teen girls than not have debilitating pain and/or bleed enough to need iron supplements, and about 1 in 10 women have endometriosis). Typical usage is more like 20-30 tampons (~5 days averaging 4 tampons a day).
Load More Replies...That's one way of ensuring the child gets the benefit and not the father.
Sure it works. The catch is that they keep you in jail until you develop an interest in where you reside.
Load More Replies...Negging the judge in their own courtroom, DURING legal proceedings, is a very effective way to sabotage your case, doofus.
So much fir innocent until proven guiltree…. I’ll show myself out.
I think this falls under the heading of "Fûck around and Find out!" lol.
I’m not sure how the father thought that wasn’t going to hurt his case.
I have never understood why people want to attack the person their spouse/SO etc is sleeping with. The spouse/SO is the one who should be beat ;)
Well, it's obviously because people are torn about beating up someone they care about (whether or not they were a POS)... so... beat up the person you don't know. Or - if you know them - they should have known better. Anger's got to come out one way or another... might as well not beat up your SO until you're sure you're not going to end up forgiving them 😆
Load More Replies...Defendant:"Yeah, I want this on record in a court of law! Fess up âsshole!"
the best type of laws, "im being arrested for insider trading??!! but i did it outside, HAHAHAHA, case dismissed
Defendant:"I'm just watching all the pretty colors of the rainbow, your honor. Now I'm sliding down into a pool of my mom's tears..."
I want to be known as Mister Doctor WD Gaster Jr. Esquire III, PhD.
It's when a judge issues an arrest warrant if someone doesn't appear for their court date.
Load More Replies...Honestly this happened to me and the court said having covid wasn't a valid excuse for not being there.
Judge (Thinking to himself or herself): “We have ourselves an open-and-shut case.”
I'm a Doctor, and as many people say they are, and I quote, "deceased" on the Internet after something humourous has happened, I am beginning to struggle to verify the "deceased-ness" of each.
As long as he didn’t tear off his shirt because he thought he was too sexy for that, it’s all good, I guess?
Geography has never been my strong suit. Apparently it’s not the judges either.
To all those making fun of the judge for the "next it will be a different continent" comment, keep in mind that this courthouse isn't necessarily in America or Europe. It could be Asia.
I might have answers unless they are about psychic surgery
Load More Replies...Anyone?? We're lost and confused and I need an adult..
Load More Replies...Going to pull up in my Playskool car with the yellow roof and red body. Rims bedazzled with press on plastic diamonds and a few Littlest Pet Shop stickers on the dash.
That’s definitely a good enough reason to ask a be excused from representing someone!
How are you gonna threaten your attorney and expect everything to go smooth
There's a saying "Snitches get stitches" and sometimes "...and end up in ditches." It means basically if you tell the cops on your criminal buddies, they will come beat you up. It also applies to kids on the playground or arguments between siblings. Basically, there's an unwritten code that no matter how bad things get, you don't get the authorities involved.
Load More Replies...What do we do with this rhyme now that staples are being used to close cuts?
2 problems here, 1. Someone got horse meat out of a truck and 2. Someone had horse meat in a truck
Have you ever tried it? It's delicious and not uncommon here to eat horsemeat.
What is the difference from a horse to a cow. Or a pig? Read about cows social life, and still enjoy your burger.
Load More Replies...I imagine the defense attorney saying something like : “ I am your defense attorney. You may wish to retract that statement” and the defendant realizing he or she had better keep quiet and do it!
Priorities... fur babies are just like children to some of us. They're definitely family members! We got to give them the love ❤
This happens all the time actually. Cases go longer than they're supposed to, and Stenographers have other commitments. In this example, if they don't pick up their dog on time, most likely the dog will have to stay there overnight, which the facility may not have room for it. I can almost guarantee they communicated before the proceedings began that they had a hard end time. Picking up children and medical appointments are other common hard outs.
It's apparently harder for some more than others, because I'm guessing they meant to spell smell, lol 😆
Load More Replies...I would have loved to have seen the look on the judges face at that moment!
Oh, boy; I imagine getting fired from that company was not fun for either of those firing the defendant or the defendant!
Is this the Defense Counsel's toddler son on bring your child to work day?
True. And the Ides of March bring an increase in admissions to mental health institutions.
To be fair, people who are actually from the Caucas Mountains are not white
Something something I hate my wife. Something something I should get a divorce. Something something why did I get married if I hate this woman so much. I hate this style of "humor". Don't get married if you're going to complain about your significant other like they're a nuisance. Get a divorce and be done with it.
When, may I ask? Can you look at someone without knowing all the info and say they are guilty? I l don’t believe so but unless you are talking about a non criminal case I have no idea.
Load More Replies...Attorney:"Your Honor, on the basis that I'm throwing everything at the wall to see what will stick here."
Attorney: I've only played Phoenix Wright. I'm not sure what to do next.
Smh, these people have no idea what personal manners or etiquette are these days.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she proved to be unfit to parent, which is a shame! I pray she had a wake up call after that!
Scripture also says that we are to submit to the governing authorities, provided that their commands do not violate the Word of God. I suppose I’ll give him credit for trying… !
Baby Momma trying to get child support from Baby Daddy. Baby Momma shouts "Congratulations" out loud, in court to Baby Daddy regarding his recent engagement.
Load More Replies...The only reasonable possibility for this claim being true would be let the client choke someone in self-defense or was defending someone who was truly helpless.
Am I missing something? Like the arrogance or delusion he's using to convince himself that he's the victim...
It could be that he argues self defense. But probably isn't.
Load More Replies...Nothing wrong with that. There should be no shame in those kinds of things. I, myself, have written some to acclaim, and others have published on Amazon and made a fair bit of money. I'd appreciate if we didn't shame people for these sorts of things or make it out to be some taboo guff.
Glad that you do that if you like it I personally would never read stuff like that but I know a friend that might if you tell where I can order it
Load More Replies...I figure there must’ve been some kind of emergency for this to happen and for the prosecutor to reply like that! I hope the prosecutor conducted himself or herself properly after that!
Hmm, sounds like they could potentially be off to a very bad start today. 🤔
No they don't. This judge is a cretin. It's illegal to park on double yellow lines, but is it immoral? It's immoral to commit adultery, but is it illegal?
You gotta wonder how many lawyers and judges buy their degrees, seriously.
Load More Replies...Judge did say "USUALLY" and yes, usually they do go hand-in-hand. If u feel wrong doing it... maybe don't do it. Cretin? Really?
I was in traffic court once for a speeding ticket. The guy who went before the judge before me had been ticketed for driving without proof of insurance. In my state, if you can prove you did in fact have insurance at the time, the ticket is dismissed. The defendant handed the judge an insurance card. The judge didn't accept it because 1)it wasn't in the defendant's name 2)it wasn't for the car he was driving and 3)the policy start date was after his ticket date. His response when questioned about those things? "I didn't think you'd actually look at it"
Worth a shot to be honest. I've seen some s**t. 🤦♀️
Load More Replies...While serving on a Grand Jury, the popular phrase among us was "What's on you alleged mind?"
Laughed so much at some of those... They should make a book of funny things said in court. Could even make chapters with the context of charges or the people involved xD xD
Went to traffic school when I was a teenager. Everyone had to stand up and say why the court required them to take the class. A young woman said she got a speeding ticket 65 in a 45. The instructor said that usually doesn't result in traffic school. Oh, she said, she meant to say 65 OVER in a 45!
Went with my friend to traffic court. Judge offered to defer the ticket, meaning she'd have to pay the full amount, but it wouldn't go on her driving record if she didn't get another ticket in the following 12 months. The other option was to pay half the ticket and it would go on her record. She picked option two. When the judge asked why, she just shrugged and said, "I know myself, and in less than 12 months, you'll know me pretty well too." But they pretty much offer that deal to everyone where I was living then. Another friend told the judge, when asked if she had a reason for speeding or anything to say on her own behalf, "No, I just like to go fast." The judge cracked up then cut her ticket in half anyway. Yes, this was some white ppl sh** which is why my black a** went along for entertainment.
I was once in the court public area supporting a friend who was on a pretty serious but bogus charge. He was acquitted, and the quality of the witnesses can be summed up in two examples The first was that the two main prosecution witnesses, a married couple, gave completely contradictory stories, both claiming to be the one who opened their front door when my friend was supposed to have been trying to kick it down (despite him having a broken ankle at the time, his leg in plaster and on crutches); giving completely different times as to when the supposed event took place - over half-an-hour difference; and both claiming to have rang the police while he was supposed to have been at the door (police records showing that the call had been made some two hours after the later time claimed by the witnesses, among many others. But the real beauty was an exchange between the prosecuting barrister and the female witness. ...cont
cont.... PB. Would you tell the court how Mr. X was acting when the door was first opened. FW. Well, he was shouting and swearing, Your Honour. PB. There's no need to call me 'Your Honour, I'm merely a barrister. Now, Mrs Y, what exactly did he say? FW. Well, Your Honour [even the judge had to quickly cover a smile at that one], I don't really like to say because I don't swear, but his language was f#cking disgusting! The case was dismissed shortly after on the judge's direction, citing unreliable and clearly dishonest witnesses.
Load More Replies..."I don't even know why I got called for jury duty. I'm not even registered to vote." Packed courtroom got to see the judge ream him out.
I once received a subpoena to a small assault case because I was the only witness. It was supposed to be a group of 5 cases being heard. Besides the courtroom people, I was the only one who showed up. Not a single defendant showed up. They were all found guilty.
I was in traffic court once for a speeding ticket. The guy who went before the judge before me had been ticketed for driving without proof of insurance. In my state, if you can prove you did in fact have insurance at the time, the ticket is dismissed. The defendant handed the judge an insurance card. The judge didn't accept it because 1)it wasn't in the defendant's name 2)it wasn't for the car he was driving and 3)the policy start date was after his ticket date. His response when questioned about those things? "I didn't think you'd actually look at it"
Worth a shot to be honest. I've seen some s**t. 🤦♀️
Load More Replies...While serving on a Grand Jury, the popular phrase among us was "What's on you alleged mind?"
Laughed so much at some of those... They should make a book of funny things said in court. Could even make chapters with the context of charges or the people involved xD xD
Went to traffic school when I was a teenager. Everyone had to stand up and say why the court required them to take the class. A young woman said she got a speeding ticket 65 in a 45. The instructor said that usually doesn't result in traffic school. Oh, she said, she meant to say 65 OVER in a 45!
Went with my friend to traffic court. Judge offered to defer the ticket, meaning she'd have to pay the full amount, but it wouldn't go on her driving record if she didn't get another ticket in the following 12 months. The other option was to pay half the ticket and it would go on her record. She picked option two. When the judge asked why, she just shrugged and said, "I know myself, and in less than 12 months, you'll know me pretty well too." But they pretty much offer that deal to everyone where I was living then. Another friend told the judge, when asked if she had a reason for speeding or anything to say on her own behalf, "No, I just like to go fast." The judge cracked up then cut her ticket in half anyway. Yes, this was some white ppl sh** which is why my black a** went along for entertainment.
I was once in the court public area supporting a friend who was on a pretty serious but bogus charge. He was acquitted, and the quality of the witnesses can be summed up in two examples The first was that the two main prosecution witnesses, a married couple, gave completely contradictory stories, both claiming to be the one who opened their front door when my friend was supposed to have been trying to kick it down (despite him having a broken ankle at the time, his leg in plaster and on crutches); giving completely different times as to when the supposed event took place - over half-an-hour difference; and both claiming to have rang the police while he was supposed to have been at the door (police records showing that the call had been made some two hours after the later time claimed by the witnesses, among many others. But the real beauty was an exchange between the prosecuting barrister and the female witness. ...cont
cont.... PB. Would you tell the court how Mr. X was acting when the door was first opened. FW. Well, he was shouting and swearing, Your Honour. PB. There's no need to call me 'Your Honour, I'm merely a barrister. Now, Mrs Y, what exactly did he say? FW. Well, Your Honour [even the judge had to quickly cover a smile at that one], I don't really like to say because I don't swear, but his language was f#cking disgusting! The case was dismissed shortly after on the judge's direction, citing unreliable and clearly dishonest witnesses.
Load More Replies..."I don't even know why I got called for jury duty. I'm not even registered to vote." Packed courtroom got to see the judge ream him out.
I once received a subpoena to a small assault case because I was the only witness. It was supposed to be a group of 5 cases being heard. Besides the courtroom people, I was the only one who showed up. Not a single defendant showed up. They were all found guilty.
