Periods are the probably the most annoying part of being a woman. They always start unexpectedly and they mess up your emotions while somehow managing to ruin the one pair of panties you really love.

At least there's a silver lining: half of the world gets to experience the same struggle each month, so we're all sisters in this matter. Bored Panda collected some of the funniest posts from Tumblr and Twitter where women share their period horror stories or general thoughts on why periods are truly the satan's sacrificial waterfalls. Be sure to upvote the ones you liked best and share your own stories!

#1

Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

simonwang Report

Lara B.
Community Member
8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahahahaha, nerd talk at its best!!!

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    #3

    Period Jokes

    dory Report

    Ladam
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anyone else involuntarily read this in Dory's voice?

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    #6

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    periodhumor Report

    Ladam
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The average amount of blood lost during a period is 30-40 millilitres (ml) (NHS). So at 35ml avg. times 480 thats 16.8L (4.4 gallons) of blood in a lifetime.

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    #7

    Period Jokes

    thisiswhymomworries Report

    katie thomas
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This literally just made me laugh out loud!!!!

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    #8

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    periodhumor Report

    Daria B
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This should be the standard icon symbolizing menstruation.

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    #9

    Period Jokes

    theawkwardterrier Report

    Shana
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And instead of understanding that there isn't any visitor coming, it all starts over again after that... :P

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    #11

    Period Jokes

    misogynytears Report

    Neurotic_Octopus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's always a thin liquid too, like, I'm not pissing on it. Show me how this thing handles a big thick blood clot!

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    #12

    Period Jokes

    kaitlinguini Report

    Smoofy
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you just DON'T MOVE or speak, or breathe, or sit up, OR GOD FORBID, STAND, then you're all good! YAY

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    #13

    Period Jokes

    gothicprep Report

    Zori the degu
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And most of them wear white pants! What idiots!

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    #14

    Period Jokes

    stereolights Report

    Amanda Panda
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only fun fact on my tampon box is a warning about Toxic Shock Syndrome

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    #15

    Period Jokes

    WhennBoys Report

    Tiari
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't start crying, but I am incredibly thin-skinned and quickly pissed, and I always wonder "Who ist this b****y woman?" and then I realize "Oh, tomorrow my period will come, everything is okay."

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    #16

    Period Jokes

    thesunriseclub Report

    Cynthia McDonald
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    just wait until perimenopause where you are actually on your period for 20 days and you start fainting from blood loss. ahhhh good times....

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    #18

    Period Jokes

    TheGirICode Report

    Le koonz
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone threatened to rip him a new a*****e and he did not believe them...

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    #19

    Period Jokes

    music-books-wanderlust Report

    Daria B
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay, but this one is serious. It is common knowledge that we women tend to ignore actual symptoms of a real disease because we assume wrong about where our blood comes from.

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    #20

    Period Jokes

    feminismfox Report

    Alyssa Kathryn
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Half (at least) of my guy friends will gag, get faintish, or have to leave the room for blood, some of them can't even hear conversations or watch on tv.... Meanwhile all the girls are watching surgeons preform operations on tv while we eat & fix all the bloody injuries- bc the boys are busy cringing at the sight. So funny

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    #21

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    periodhumor Report

    Sweep the Leg
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you think you can't smell it, just go into the girls' restroom in a middle school. The smell is pretty real.

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    #23

    Period Jokes

    charliethebee Report

    #25

    Period Jokes

    yueliang Report

    #26

    Period Jokes

    pianorocknroll Report

    Jessica Thomsson
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    End the menstruation taboo about not talking about periods and period supplies. To have your period is NOT something bad or something to be ashamed of. If you need a tampoon/pad ask for it with its name.

    Sherlock Holmes
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Totally agree! If I'm on my period, I'll tell you in those words. No need for euphemisms!

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    Neurotic_Octopus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a Zelda fan, my new phrase is "The Blood Moon rises once again" :p

    Janice
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just say "Yo I have my period do you have any pads"

    Lazy_Potato
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used "code red I need ammunition"

    Zobri kiyane
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In France it's "les anglais ont débarqué" which means "the English had landed". And I heard it's "the French landed" on the other side of the Channel ^^ Aaah bloody history !

    Kristen Bodeman
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Week before: Dragon week Week of: Shark week

    Flora Polvado
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My daughter threatened to fix me up with a guy named Tom- Uncle Time Of the Month and Aunt Flo. Grumble, ungrateful child, grumble

    Kathrine Jensen
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember two: "there are russians in the funhouse" and "I have beets in my lunch box" ... A bit vulgar, but idc :-)

    Amber Partridge
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine is shark week with a pre party where velociraptors and great white sharks pre game with a big a*s fight club recreation using their teeth in my uterus

    Zori the degu
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother and I call it FP(feminine products) or tomato soup. :D

    Daria B
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about the imperial flag then....

    GingerTip
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friends and I in like fifth grade called it "dot". Now we just call it a period, or "one of THOSE days"

    MacKenzie Fisher
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like "aunt flow decided to paint my house red"

    My True Form, Apparently
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The blood gods have demanded a sacrifice is mine.

    Kyria Denton
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I say "the moon sickness" because it makes me feel like a werewolf and 28 day cycle

    cheetah
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i useually say shark week cuz *jaws theme*

    Ari Maegan Rose
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    me and my friends use the term 'I'm on holiday... its raining a lot. I need paper, do you have paper? :

    Nikita L Brits
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We used "Tom is back" Tom-> Time of the Month

    Caroline Poirier
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me in the '80's it was the Russians, because of the Red Army.

    Caroline Poirier
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me , in the '80's it was the Russians, because of the Red Army.

    Duncan Davidson
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    we guys say she has the painters in

    Duncan Davidson
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We guys just say to each other she has the painters in

    Alexandra Guglielmi
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In France it's: "Les Anglais ont débarqué!" (trad: "The English have arrived!")

    Ciara O'Connor
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you know to run in my flat when someone comes through grumbling that "the communists have arrived'

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    #27

    Period Jokes

    ps-sharkweek Report

    Zori the degu
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or you just think its gone because there's not a single drop of blood for a whole day and you get the courage to have a walk outside without a pad and... bang! Your favorite underwear is destroyed! Hate periods! First wish if I encounter a genie: "Get me rid of this s**t, I don't even want to have damned babies!"

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    #29

    Period Jokes

    rashaka Report

    #31

    Period Jokes

    thesaladbar Report

    Pat Hallquist
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ......AND you don't waste $$ on electric heat pad.

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    #32

    Period Jokes

    felson Report

    #33

    Period Jokes

    beauty-who-doesnt-need-a-beast Report

    Sherlock Holmes
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I pretend I'm a Viking chieftain who's been wounded in battle.

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    #34

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    periodhumor Report

    #39

    Period Jokes

    scrunchiees Report

    Lara B.
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also me, when i try to stop smoking...:(

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    #41

    Period Jokes

    vittyyluvscookies Report

    Long Joan Silver
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glad I'm not the only one who asks those questions, to myself.

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    #43

    Period Jokes

    tardis221b Report

    Long Joan Silver
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know what's even worse? Having gastro, then getting your period at the same time. Can't bloody win! Things coming out of both ends (if you know what I mean). Had that happen once before.

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    #44

    Period Jokes

    catharsjis Report

    Shelley Piper
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously? Ah.....teacher is a man. Got it.

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    #45

    Period Jokes

    comicparker Report

    #46

    Period Jokes

    periodmemes Report

    Gven Amber
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well..I wonder what this sculptor has been diagnosed with..

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    #49

    Period Jokes

    Period_Problem_ Report

    Neurotic_Octopus
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True Story. I track my own, and last month I wrote "suspiciously easy". Sure enough, I spent the last few days wondering why I was exhausted and achy and crying because my chair broke :p

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    #51

    Period Jokes

    rosetampon Report

    #54

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    thecutteralicia Report

    Katrė
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oo, ibuprofen in a Tic Tac box.. Good idea!

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    #56

    Period Jokes

    LizHackett Report

    Long Joan Silver
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have P.M.S.; a shotgun; now what were you saying?

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    #59

    Period Jokes

    shortchangedandbroke Report

    Harley Quinn
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Period pain preview of what to expect when its absent for 9 months

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    #61

    Period Jokes

    irinagudronchik Report

    John L
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely bowl movement cramps. And it almost always happens when you're in public. ;D

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    #63

    Period Jokes

    OhNoSheTwitnt Report

    Winter
    Community Member
    Premium
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, but only because it would be quite messy if he were to go and grab her by her pussy! I mean, he wouldn't want to get blood on his hands, would he!

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    #64

    Period Jokes

    OhNoSheTwitnt Report

    mandy the capibara
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    for a moment I thought you were talking about fire breath from.. down there, and I thought: oh no, accidentally sneezing or laughing really would be a disaster then! * someone makes you laugh, you set your chair on fire..

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    #69

    Period Jokes

    crampsandhellfire Report

    Long Joan Silver
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's me when I'm on one of my bipolar episodes as well

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    #70

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    Doomskander Report

    #71

    Period Jokes

    jadenovak Report

    Isaac Kim
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand, why do other women judge? They went/go through it too... O.o

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    #73

    Period Jokes

    mardews Report

    Laura Drillenburg
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Li Shang: "You ok?" Me: "Imma just go home now. . ." Me: *walks away with a red trail following* (period blood) Li Shang: "What the fu-"

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    #74

    Period Jokes

    man-of-trash Report

    Sarah Bevan
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Day 8: Sees blood on underwear "Oh God I'm dying what the... wait... adult woman... this is normal. ahhhh"

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    #76

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    iwillmindfuckyou Report

    FabulousKilljoy
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When your favorite bands turn into your most hated bodily function

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    #77

    Period Jokes

    madsam03 Report

    Noemi Rios
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or when its late so you assume it skipped.

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    #79

    Period Jokes

    swimphan Report

    John L
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder which is worse: having a period, or being a politician? :O

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    #81

    Period Jokes

    vornietom Report

    #82

    Period Jokes

    Assistss Report

    #83

    Period Jokes

    NYC_Blonde Report

    #84

    Period Jokes

    sadpotatochic Report

    Morgan Brock
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If my cat doesn't let me kiss him, I cry anyways. I literally have no excuse.

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    #85

    Period Jokes

    summoned-tentacles Report

    Long Joan Silver
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I extremely loudly at this because it's so damn accurate!

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    #86

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    periodhumor Report

    #90

    Period Jokes

    theherbeh Report

    Sweetie Cake️‍
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “come on. almost got it. YES! wait n-no! get in that center you little ba$tard… did i do it? ah f-ck it i’m going back to the bathroom.”

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    #92

    Period Jokes

    badg4lrihanna Report

    Miraculous Klutz
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Chihuahua! Also deciding whether to drop everything or risk that pair of underwear.

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    #93

    Period Jokes

    MeganNeuringer Report

    Anna Guarino
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I refuse to wear white pants...even if they were free

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    #95

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    carinahsieh Report

    Pat Hallquist
    Community Member
    8 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not an adrenaline rush, it's Toxic Shock Syndrome!

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    #96

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    periodhumor Report

    Sweetie Cake️‍
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i imagine it as my uterus has 7 days to assassinate me and if it fails it retreats and comes back in a month

    #97

    Period Jokes

    gr8ish Report

    #98

    Period Jokes

    sassypxrrilla Report

    #99

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    andrea_schief Report

    #101

    Funny-period-jokes-tumblr-posts-tweets

    jemjoven Report

    #104

    Period Jokes

    CarolineAnn27 Report

    Alanna Leyba
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then your partner says “ew”😭

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    #105

    Period Jokes

    Bluemoonbaby77 Report