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As every parent knows, kids can be remarkably fickle when it comes to food. Seemingly on the slightest whim dietary requirements can drastically change, now your little bundle of joy will only eat foods that are orange, for example.
Luckily, for the majority of kids fussy eating is just a phase. We all know that it just comes with the territory, and we need to find creative and funny ways to get around it.
Bored Panda has compiled a list of hilarious tweets from parents in the midst of dinnertime dramas, if you’ve had kids yourself you’ll be sure to raise a knowing smile (or grimace). Check them out below and tell us your experiences in the comments!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
PsychoPrincess 8 years ago
My mother did that to me and I did that to the floor and I will be doing this to my children cuz it's just good parenting
Wendy Whiteman 8 years ago
Both my brothers used to do that to get their own way. Only stopped when my parents started ignoring it.
Marisa Marflak 8 years ago
I never understood why kids thought this would work. After passing out your body will involuntarily start breathing. It's not a threat haha
RELATED:
#2
Lindsay Ameye 8 years ago
Question the existence of chocolate in the first place
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#3
Rafaella Bueno 8 years ago
Ask him to share his birthday gifts with you, since he was only born because of you.
#4
PsychoPrincess 8 years ago
Do you have any idea what the value of breadcrumbs are? you have to hold them together somehow intact bread is cheap broken up bread really valuable
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#5
Celestial Lynx 8 years ago
I honestly thought she'd shoved a teddy bear in a peanut container and cuddled with it that way o-o
#7
DopethronePunkUK 8 years ago
This woman clearly has more than one child so she is saying don't have more than one child because everything will have to be split between them....including a single m&m.
Arlene engel 8 years ago
I don’t believe in only one child it’s not fair to the first child. What do m&ms have to do with your decisions?
#8
Mackie Braden 8 years ago
Boy, I’ll say it counts. But there’s always the old “Fine, you can go to bed hungry.”
Celestial Lynx 8 years ago
I don't get why parents "bribe" their kids to eat meals they complain about... my parents would make meals right at home, every evening, and whenever me or any of my siblings would protest or stick our nose in the air, they would make us go to bed hungry. But not before reminding us of how lucky we were to even have food sitting in front of us and that we could've been on the streets, starving. Why isn't that reason enough to make kids quit complaining and be grateful for what they have and are being given? Heck, not just kids, anyone who complains about their food and things they are given.
Jewel Cowart 8 years ago
totally agree and never did do they oh let me make you something else. Eat what is placed before you. Parents know the difference between true disliking of something like broccoli or just being a pain and want something different. Eat it or you will just stay hungry. Not making something else
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Terry Jeppsen 7 years ago
Interviewer: Do you have any sales experience? Me: I got my children to eat my pancakes. Interviewer: You're hired.
Shilpa Hattangadi 8 years ago
Make em go to bed hungry. Never need to do it twice as long as you actually enforce it.
#9
Zenozenobee 8 years ago
Yep! when my first born does not eat enough, I keep his plate in the fridge until "le goûter" (I don't know how you call the snack in the afternoon). I did it three times until he realised that eating his lunch when his sister eats cookies is not fun at all.
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Arlene engel 8 years ago
My parents would save the plate for when I said I was Hungary. Eat it now or eat it later.
PsychoPrincess 8 years ago
If I didn't eat my food I wasn't allowed to move until I did. I had to have at least one bite I sat there for 4 hours one day
Zori the degu 8 years ago
If I did that when I was four, I was going to be in a great trouble... And anyway, I was smart enough to know that it's better to eat your dinner than staying hungry, for snacks didn't appear out of thin air and that was a well known fact as well.
#10
Mary Ann Becerril-Gibbins 8 years ago
LMAO 15 minutes later. Even my husband laughed when I told him and he doesn't think anything is funny.
#11
Gail Winstanley 8 years ago
This could be my son and grandson, but they probably wouldn't have gone 30 minutes, lol
Ashiah Rainwing 8 years ago
From my experience that will be one of his favorite memories of you.
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#13
Shawn Battmer 8 years ago
*SHE*, why do people always assume the speaker must be male? Do you not see his other posts, he has like 4 daughters.
Lemon 8 years ago
I guess it might be because that commenter is male. Because I'm female I often assume the gender is female if it's not stated.
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#15
Cat Meow 8 years ago
They pack the apple in the lunchbox for the kid to eat, the kid doesn't and instead brings it back home. Time for the kid to learn how to trade your food... but then again, what other kid would trade their food for an apple?
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Misterscooter 8 years ago
As a 5th grader, my apples never made it home. My friend and I would try to throw them through the chain link fence. Sometimes they'd stick.
Suzy Sunshine 8 years ago
I was successful with the grapes! They had a day out for three days in a row. Then they were gone. Finally.
#16
Alusair Alustriel 8 years ago
If the kid needs to fat, it cannot be told "no". You want a stomachache afterwards? Or gases building up? Tell the kid to run to the bathroom or step out from the table. Teach your kid that farting is a natural thing, but a thing not to be done in public (as much as it can be avoided at least).
PsychoPrincess 8 years ago
How much you denying your child a natural body function is a good idea ask them to please leave the table so it doesn't smell the room sure don't tell them no
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
Holding in your flatulence for a while will not harm you. It's totally normal for parents to teach their children proper manners about bodily emissions. They will have a job someday, and they can't walk around farting in front of coworkers, clients, patients etc.
Vanessica Bloxgirl 8 years ago
hope he knows how to use the fork and knife, cant imagine this kid doing it on a date or special occasion
#17
Shari H 8 years ago
My M-I-L told me that when my hubby was little they would only put one or two bites of vegetables on his plate and tell him it was all he could have. He would eat them first and ask for more and they would act like it was a treat. Then they had dessert and acted like it was because they had to eat it. She caught him sneaking leftover broccoli out of the fridge one night when he was 3 and knew it had worked. To this day he prefers fruits and vegetables to junk food.
Debbie Palmer 8 years ago
Somtimes my 3 1/2 year old grandson won't eat whats on his plate but will eat what i have on mine, even though we have the same thing. I guess Abah's (that's what he calls me) just tastes better.
CelSlade 8 years ago
I always put a plate of chopped fresh veg on the counter while I cooked. I would loudly announce: 'these veggies are for dinner, nobody better eat them!' Every time something disappeared off the plate (accompanied by wild scurrying and giggles) I'd go: 'Oh dear, I think we have a mouse!' Which always resulted in (crunchy) giggles. By the time we sat down the 'mouse' had a good portion of fresh veg in him. He's 16 now and will happily help himself to a bag of carrots out of the fridge as a snack.
#18
Lillian Chesak 8 years ago
I think that's natural... I mean, doughnuts are the best thing ever. They make the perfect sacrifices
#19
Rafaella Bueno 8 years ago
Just tell them they can't have yogurt anymore and watch as they magically love it again.
Gerry Higgins 8 years ago
My mom was old fashioned. She put breakfast on the table and like it or not that's it. Eat or starve.
CelSlade 8 years ago
And this never stops. I asked my 16yo yesterday if he wanted chicken slices on his lunch sandwiches. To be told (with extreme exasperation): 'I HATE chicken slices, I always have!' I could only pick my jaw off the ground and tell him: 'But you had them just last week! In fact, every week since you were 3!' Response? 'Oh yeah, well, that's with tomato sauce. You didn't say with tomato sauce'. I give up...
#20
Aliya Clark 5 years ago
But i know from experience they are toddlers with their food and they throw it all over their stall so you pile it up in a corner and they ask for more cuz thats OBVIOUSLY not edible food, so to keep your horse from starving to death you have to give them MORE food and its a cycle.
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Miriam Lupfer Reed 8 years ago
Thank goodness the comparison isn't with a cow, which chews its food, going down and up, several times . . . .
Arlene engel 8 years ago
Yep! Sounds familiar. Don’t order spaghetti when you’re in a restaurant.
Claire 8 years ago
I don't recommend cutting children of any age!!!! *smirk*
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Hans 8 years ago
Obviously, you need to tell them as well that your growing belly is a "state-funded infrastructure project".
Laura Sherman 8 years ago
It's okay to laugh at yourself every now and then. I fail to see the toxicity of this post, it made me laugh, because sadly it's true.
Load More Replies... Gerry Higgins 8 years ago
And after taxes tell them about mortgages and other bills.... leave them about 10%. Don't want obese children
Alice Black 8 years ago
Except for this to be an accurate analogy the original amount of ice cream would fill the dinner table.
Beth LaFoy 8 years ago
I call this the mom tax and my son has come to expect it by offering me his yummies.
#22
Blue Hippo 8 years ago
Saw my eleven month old daughter eating a chicken nugget...except we haven't had nuggets in a week...
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
Wait till Organic Only kids visit other's homes. They'll eat one week of c**p in an hour.
#23
Ashiah Rainwing 8 years ago
Then you'd have to follow the dog around licking the ketchup off and looking like a zombie baby.
#24
Jennifer Jones 8 years ago
"put your shoes on. Put Your Shoes On. PUT YOUR SHOES ON." Unheard. Whisper "I have ice cream" and they hear it from the 3rd floor.
Rafaella Bueno 8 years ago
Even as an adult I downright choke and almost puke if I bite into onions, and I don't have to see it, it's automatic. So I can't really blame them. I've met someone who couldn't handle tomatoes the same way. There are things people really can't eat no matter how much they try to, it's not always about being picky.
Patrick Davies 8 years ago
Wow, you managed to totally miss the point of the original post.
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Jasmina Wetherley 8 years ago
my brother who is 11 is very picky with his food. f it stinks, he won't have it, and if he doesn't find it appetising, he won't have it either.
#25
Arlene engel 8 years ago
Now you know where the toilet paper goes. If he eats enough he won’t have to wipe himself when he goes. (Or she)
Leza Frazee 8 years ago
Toilet paper: "Tastes like chicken!" Actual chicken: *sends toddler running from room in terror* See: "Toddler logic"...
#26
DC 6 years ago
GLaDOS: Under the circumstances I've been shockingly nice.
Load More Replies... Ashiah Rainwing 8 years ago
I set supper before my son, then when he fell asleep in the plate without taking a bite, I gave it to the dog.
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Hanaé Thouvnn 8 years ago
This sounds like every cat I have had. "Hey, HEY, give me some of your food, it's probably delicious... thanks human but this is disgusting. HEY I bet this piece is AMAZING, give me some".
#30
just a thought ! 8 years ago
With just a sprinkle of hedgehog thorns on top !
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Just a Purpler 8 years ago
Actually, I might be intrigued to try a marinated monkey butt if I was 6 years old
Gerry Higgins 8 years ago
If I asked my mum what's for dinner she always said "S**t with sugar on it". Classy my mum
Madeline Bublik 8 years ago
Marinated monkey butts is almost positively going to be a delicacy somewhere
Laura Sherman 8 years ago
What my mom used to say to us kids: Us: What's for dinner? Mom: Food Us: What kind of food? Mom: Good food. We gave up.
#31
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
1 bag of Goldfish crackers stashed on a top shelf five feet from the floor, one 5 minute bathroom stop, 1 active 2 year old and 1 kitchen chair = totally trashed living room.
PsychoPrincess 8 years ago
Before my niece was born I didn't know that you can destroy the entire who's with one washable magic marker
#32
Random Panda 8 years ago
I never get that... Toddlers sucking on a piece of something until it looks like it's been half digested already and parents then eating that disgusting goop 🤢
Blue Hippo 8 years ago
Did this at a ten year old birthday party at Red Lobster, while the children ate cake I ate there crab legs...
PsychoPrincess 8 years ago
I wouldn't do this it's just one bite of food the fact that any parents do this is disgusting
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#34
just a thought ! 8 years ago
This sounds too much like me but I don't even have kids ...I just say it to myself !😂😂
Markus McCloud 8 years ago
I, for one, buy wheat bread just because I think it tastes better. Anyone else here prefer wheat over white?
#35
#36
Aimee Ross 8 years ago
Well now we know it wasn't the 4yr old he'd would have already licked that if he knew about it 😂 😂
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#39
Troll Panda 8 years ago
Sometimes Hans' mom is annoying...that is until the can of whip cream comes out.
Megan Ange 8 years ago
What's annoying is when people who aren't your children expect their dinner to be made for them. As if they're incapable of making something themselves. If you're an adult and can't make anything other than cereal, you're an idiot.
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#40
#41
Dani Donovan 8 years ago
When my son was almost 2, I caught him chewing on our dog’s rubber bone. And yet they survive.
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
My nephew was 4 or 5, tried to eat a wooly caterpillar, had to get venomous spikes removed from lips and face.
Ashiah Rainwing 8 years ago
My picky toddler sat in a playpen one day feeding himself poop that had fallen out of his diaper.
#42
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#44
Pat 8 years ago
When eating out when our kids were younger at the buffet, the middle son wanted ice cream first. We told him he had to eat other stuff if he had it. We finally gave in. He ate ice cream then ate a good dinner. Didn’t even try with 3rd son. He ate ice cream then meal ice cream and another salad. Does it even now at 21, ends with more salad.
Cathy Baker 8 years ago
No matter what I'm eating my heart always says pizza, and in Mexico, tacos
#45
Izzy Spence 8 years ago
A? Jesus i think I'm single-handledly making the lunch box business and the water bottle business thrive for the amount of them i have to buy every year.
Louise Brigance 8 years ago
Send him to school with his lunch in a plastic bag, bet he finds his lunch box .
Smoofy 8 years ago
The African way? People in Africa dont have leaf lunchboxes, they have plastic ones, just like everyone else
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Dora Shandor 8 years ago
Your dog should be trained better- they are smarter than kids 😁
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Barbara Kring 8 years ago
If you want to hide Girl Scout thin mint cookies and NOT share (or other flavor) freeze them in a frozen vegetable bag (whatever veggie you have), I did that for YEARS and the kids never found them. Also put extra chocolate milk in empty washed cottage cheese containers to the back of the fridge. Mom's have to do what Mom's have to do......... to survive !
#47
Benski Trenkins 8 years ago
You cut a sandwich in squares... IN SQUARES! Everyone knows triangles taste better! hehe
JillVille Child Care 8 years ago
If you just take those squares and stack them into a sandwich fort, leaving out one wall and having a roof, then you put all the other snacks/food inside the fort.... sometimes that works. Or said 4 yr old just flattens out the fort with their hand and you have to start all over again, lol
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Angelina Wilkins 8 years ago
That's a sick burn for a 4yo. He or she is gonna be savage AF when they grow up.
#53
That_One_Harry_Potter_Nerd 4 years ago
Have a banana have a whole bunch it doesn’t matter what you had for lunch just EAT IT
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#57
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
4 year old: if Grandma dies, will the hearse take her body to the cemetery? Me: yes 4: can we ride in the limousine?!
#58
Vanessica Bloxgirl 8 years ago
i can definitely relate this to my little sister a few years ago
#59
#60
Vincent Van Laaren 8 years ago
Do they actually have 2 matching socks? we just let them wear different socks and call it haute couture :)
#61
Kiki 7 years ago
That wouldn't have worked on me. I like ranch dressing now, but I used to hate it with every fiber of my being. I was about 22-23 before I learned to like ranch dressing.
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Amy Ninnes 8 years ago
Unless your kid is like mine and hates melted cheese, ketchup and basically everything other than plain pasta
#62
Anna Repp 8 years ago
I wish! They will put every thing imaginable on it and then feed it to YOU and if you refuse to try they get very upset: "But I made this for you! Don't you love me?" And when asked why they won;t eat it the answer is usually "I'm not hungry!"
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#65
Helen Burgess 8 years ago
it's like that for the first few years... then they start devouring everything that isn't nailed down.
#67
Leza Frazee 8 years ago
Just wait til he's 11...mine are twins and eat anything and everything...
#68
JillVille Child Care 8 years ago
Oh yes, the Spicy phase, haha, don't miss this one at all! Hang in there!
#69
#70
Blue Cicada 8 years ago
Doctor: you've gained weight recently. Me: yeah, kid's on solid food, don't want to throw out any unwanted bites.
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Leza Frazee 8 years ago
That's actually the ONLY way my Irish triplets WOULD eat their breakfast...until about the age of 3. They really were a strange bunch. Plus side? My Dyson got one helluva daily workout and our carpets were VERY clean.
#74
PsychoPrincess 8 years ago
My mother always told me that unless I try it once how my supposed to know whether I like it? but she wouldn't force me to eat it afterwards if I didn't like it.
Joe Reaves 8 years ago
We had the three bite rule. You had to have at least three bites of something. If you still hated it you didn't have to have it again. Because let's face it kids decide they don't like something before they've even tried it most of the time so the first bite doesn't really do much because they're already primed to be all omg this is the worst thing ever.
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Sammy Jooste 8 years ago
My daughter does not wat brocolli.. but she loves "small trees" .. just saying..
Sarah Birch 8 years ago
My eldest son hated peas but after grandad went to the beach to find son 'sea peas' for him his loved them (grandad took a pocket full of peas and a kids bucket to a shop along the road, got them to put water in the bucket and added the peas)
#75
Leza Frazee 8 years ago
11B: Why do I smell pasta cooking? 11A: Um, nobody's cooking anything. Me: Your grandfather just went #2... 11A: .... 11B: Oh COME ON.....
Chelsea Truong 8 years ago
And some smart-Alec kid would say "with that smell maybe you shouldn't be teaching...." "Those who can't do, teach "
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Michael Guida 8 years ago
We keep emergency snacks in the center console to remedy that situation!
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Mark Kelly 8 years ago
and conveniently it's for anything other than the dinner that was just finished.
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Sarah Birch 8 years ago
My second son didn't tell me he didn't like the béchamel sauce and cheese on lasagna for three years. He likes the rest so would sneak it to the dog and ask for more. I made it more often because he "liked" it. The other three kids do actually like my lasagna, I hope?!?
Gerry Higgins 8 years ago
I just chopped up the broccoli or cauliflower into small bits and put it in the mac n cheese or the mash potatoes .
Ashiah Rainwing 8 years ago
A combat smoothie; half cup of orange juice, three big bites of raw broccoli, half a banana, 1 tsp of strawberry jello, blend. Sub raw spinach for the broccoli, etc. works like a charm.
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Sarah Birch 8 years ago
In the uk all dog and cat food are tasted by humans and have to be suitable for human consumption. Due to this my pets regularly dine on minced lamb, chicken or beef while I have noodles!
#108
Leslie Mihalik 8 years ago
OMG IT NEVER FAILED the MINUTE I put the first bite in my mouth my daughter: I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM...ONCE she asked BEFORE my food came and I was like AHHH NOW is my chance to EAT W/O interruption....NOPE first bite:I NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM...AGAIN
Zori the degu 8 years ago
"Field trips" is exactly the expression my classmates and I use for the process of traveling to the bathroom in large gangs just to find a place to talk sh*t about our teachers and being philosophers.
#110
Kate Nelson 8 years ago
Hah, our school district has solved the mommy guilt on that one by requesting only individually wrapped and store bought for health and safety reasons. Grateful!
#112
Sofie Agni 7 years ago
A lot of glue at schools is non-toxic for this reason exactly
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#114
Baked Panda 8 years ago
Lol I hid mine in frozen veggie boxes... broccoli never tasted better👍
#118
Taryn Wallace 8 years ago
Ok this one bugs me come on people control your children...some of us (who don't have kids and I'm sure some who have them) don't want your kids Germy gross paws all over community food
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Ashiah Rainwing 8 years ago
My mom loved to try this. Once everyone fled the house when she craftily substituted goat's milk for cows milk. The house reeked for a week.
Lorraine Granger 8 years ago
Spaghetti sauce. I put everything imaginable in there and they never new... I'm telling you, spaghetti sauce does magic.
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Leslie Mihalik 8 years ago
LOVE being told when your out to eat with your kids and a friend WHO HAS NO KIDS HOW to parent them so they will sit and behave...I just smile and think BACK to my single days of when I WAS THE PERFECT parent too...BEFORE KIDS...ME NOW: holding food shaking:YOU'LL EAT IT IF I LET YOU EAT IN THE LIVINGROOM....GO GO PLEASE EAT IT IN THE LIVINGROOM !!!!
#142
jo_shortland 8 years ago
My school does't do this, I end up with a lunch box full of bits of crisps and smeared Yoghurt
#143
Erik Duin-Berteling 8 years ago
I have a kid who likes pancakes, but not poffertjes (mini pancakes) it's a dutch thing.. they are the same batter, just made smaller
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Hey It's Me 4 years ago
Yeah your son is spoiled. Hopefully not, but he’s probably a brat too.
#151
Helen Burgess 8 years ago
always! and one of the cats loves to chew on them to the point of choking.
#152
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What do you think ?
Aunt Messy 8 years ago
Tell ya what, Pat. YOU have a litter or two. The human race is in no danger. Of course, it's the smart people who don't have kids, so there's that.
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Cam Craig 8 years ago
What happened to parents with backbones. I was 17 when I had my first one, and did all this crazy stuff to get him to eat. He is still a picky eater. 4.5 years later, I figured it out. As a toddler, his snacks were mixed vegetables. What we ate he ate. Today, eats well, willing to try new stuff, no eating issues. YOU are the parent. start early and NEVER give up your authority.
Mary Jane Andrews 8 years ago
Pappy: God knows everything ..........Grandson ........I bet He even knows SQUAT!
Eva Tóthová 8 years ago
Not that it helped always, but quite often i put food on a fork or spoon when my daughter was younger, then i turned around and she ate it. i had to act VERY surprised that it disappeared. and as long as i was acting VERY surprised after every spoonfull/forkfull, she ate her whole meal. of course there were days when nothing helped... (maybe this will inspire someone struggling to feed their little ones)
Shauday Smith 8 years ago
these are problems i will never know. ::sits on couch with the most finicky dog whom i go through great pains to find dog specific food he'll eat:: ....yes i compared your picky child to my picky dog...
H.I 8 years ago
I almost gave up but then i saw "32 more" so i went all the way
Load More Replies... Nia Hilton Wohl 8 years ago
I volunteer at a preschool. When a child decides that they do not like a certain food, I make them take three bites. If they don't like it after three bites they don't have to eat it. Usually this does not happen.
Aunt Messy 8 years ago
Tell ya what, Pat. YOU have a litter or two. The human race is in no danger. Of course, it's the smart people who don't have kids, so there's that.
Load More Replies... Cam Craig 8 years ago
What happened to parents with backbones. I was 17 when I had my first one, and did all this crazy stuff to get him to eat. He is still a picky eater. 4.5 years later, I figured it out. As a toddler, his snacks were mixed vegetables. What we ate he ate. Today, eats well, willing to try new stuff, no eating issues. YOU are the parent. start early and NEVER give up your authority.
Mary Jane Andrews 8 years ago
Pappy: God knows everything ..........Grandson ........I bet He even knows SQUAT!
Eva Tóthová 8 years ago
Not that it helped always, but quite often i put food on a fork or spoon when my daughter was younger, then i turned around and she ate it. i had to act VERY surprised that it disappeared. and as long as i was acting VERY surprised after every spoonfull/forkfull, she ate her whole meal. of course there were days when nothing helped... (maybe this will inspire someone struggling to feed their little ones)
Shauday Smith 8 years ago
these are problems i will never know. ::sits on couch with the most finicky dog whom i go through great pains to find dog specific food he'll eat:: ....yes i compared your picky child to my picky dog...
H.I 8 years ago
I almost gave up but then i saw "32 more" so i went all the way
Load More Replies... Nia Hilton Wohl 8 years ago
I volunteer at a preschool. When a child decides that they do not like a certain food, I make them take three bites. If they don't like it after three bites they don't have to eat it. Usually this does not happen.
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