ADVERTISEMENT

We've all been to a hospital at least a couple of times in our lives, and those visits are never, never pleasant. Not only you have to answer a bunch of very personal questions, get poked and prodded but also often endure a great deal of pain, which probably have brought you there in the first place. Nurses and doctors, knowing all this either try to ignore your whining entirely and just do their job, while others try to add some optimism to the situation by making you laugh with hospital puns, funny stories and various sorts of jokes. This list that you'll find below are real stories about the second category of hospital staff and their ingenious ways of keeping patients' spirit up.

From doctors who probably have a Ph.D. in trolling to patients who are taking it rather well and nurses spending their graveyard shifts in very nonconformist ways, the hospital turns out to be an excellent source for funny jokes. So, scroll down, say 'ahhhh' and breathe deep, because you're going to need all the oxygen that you can get for laughing at these funny things found in hospitals!

#1

Saw This Next To The Weighting Scale At The Hospital

Saw This Next To The Weighting Scale At The Hospital

bassibanezacura Report

RELATED:
    #2

    The Definition Of Nurse

    The Definition Of Nurse

    nerdquadrat Report

    varwenea
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or PARAMEDIC, Or EMT, Emergency medical technician, Or FIREMAN, Or DOCTOR

    View more comments
    #3

    The Female Nurse Didn't Think I Was Funny. The Male Doctor Couldn't Stop Laughing

    The Female Nurse Didn't Think I Was Funny. The Male Doctor Couldn't Stop Laughing

    Alaskanweed Report

    #4

    Had My Leg Amputated And My Brother Shows Up To The Hospital Dressed As A Pirate

    Had My Leg Amputated And My Brother Shows Up To The Hospital Dressed As A Pirate

    TheGoodTwin94 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #5

    I Didn't Want To Go To The Hospital When I Had Life-Threatening Illness, Because My Elderly Pet Ducks Required Daily Medications At The Time. I'm The Only Person They'll Allow. The Nurses Let My Husband Sneak Them In At Night

    I Didn't Want To Go To The Hospital When I Had Life-Threatening Illness, Because My Elderly Pet Ducks Required Daily Medications At The Time. I'm The Only Person They'll Allow. The Nurses Let My Husband Sneak Them In At Night

    DucksBunniesGalore Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #6

    Photo Taken Outside Children's Hospital In Los Angeles. Smart Kid

    Photo Taken Outside Children's Hospital In Los Angeles. Smart Kid

    ashortstorylong Report

    varwenea
    Community Member
    7 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is very real. And someone did send pizza! It was in the news.

    View more comments
    #7

    Who's Gonna Stop Me?

    Who's Gonna Stop Me?

    Report

    #8

    He Keeps Taking Them Down For Some Reason

    He Keeps Taking Them Down For Some Reason

    obviousplant Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #9

    This After Hours Clinic Has Got Jokes

    This After Hours Clinic Has Got Jokes

    thejohnblog Report

    Caroline Huot
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or live somewhere else than the United States.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #10

    Had To Get My Blood Drawn Today. This Was On The Wall At The Lab

    Had To Get My Blood Drawn Today. This Was On The Wall At The Lab

    lizzistardust Report

    Symbole Simple
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She got nothing to worry about; her blood looks just fine!

    View more comments
    #11

    Christmas Tree At My Fertility Clinic

    Christmas Tree At My Fertility Clinic

    rabidkittens Report

    Random Panda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They should have put an ovum at the top :)

    View more comments
    #12

    Was At The VA Hospital Today When I Ran Into This Guy And His Shirt

    Was At The VA Hospital Today When I Ran Into This Guy And His Shirt

    Pioneer411 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #13

    Woman Ends Up In Hospital After Mistaking Builders Expanding Foam For Hair Mousse

    Woman Ends Up In Hospital After Mistaking Builders Expanding Foam For Hair Mousse

    Report

    Erin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She looks so done with life.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #14

    These Removed Fish Hooks At My Local ER

    These Removed Fish Hooks At My Local ER

    LargeMeatball Report

    Super Cat
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love how the sign says "People Catchers"

    View more comments
    #15

    Girlfriend's Eye Doctor Hit Her With A Good Ol' Dad Joke

    Girlfriend's Eye Doctor Hit Her With A Good Ol' Dad Joke

    Slicktcklr Report

    Erin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wauw! Doctor's handwriting that I can read!

    View more comments
    #16

    Leech Jailbreak

    Leech Jailbreak

    Leech jailbreak Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #17

    After Crushing And Fracturing His Finger, This Is How My Boyfriend Passed Time While Waiting In The ER

    After Crushing And Fracturing His Finger, This Is How My Boyfriend Passed Time While Waiting In The ER

    eitakesor Report

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aw! He took up finger painting. With very fresh finger paint!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #18

    Comforting To See In My Doctor's Office

    Comforting To See In My Doctor's Office

    aliass_ Report

    #19

    I Think I Have Found The Worst Game Ever

    I Think I Have Found The Worst Game Ever

    CGrizzy6 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #20

    This Building Is Like Someone Was Making It Up On The Fly

    This Building Is Like Someone Was Making It Up On The Fly

    JoshinMyCoins Report

    Randy Dhuyvetter
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kind of reminds me of chinese knockoffs trying to use english phrases.

    View more comments
    #21

    Made My Day... And Her's

    Made My Day... And Her's

    armorforalex Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #22

    Three Broken Ribs Yet Grandma Still Knows How To Keep Her Spirits Up During Hard Times

    Three Broken Ribs Yet Grandma Still Knows How To Keep Her Spirits Up During Hard Times

    iObeyTheHivemind Report

    My O My
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lovely grandma! I want to be like this when growing old

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #23

    Found This Mad Lad's Handiwork In The Local Hospital Bathroom

    Found This Mad Lad's Handiwork In The Local Hospital Bathroom

    RandenVanguard Report

    Symbole Simple
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hand it to the reception desk if you're not sure!

    View more comments
    #24

    So I Was On The Toilet At My Hospital (Children's) And I Look Up To Find This On The Wall

    So I Was On The Toilet At My Hospital (Children's) And I Look Up To Find This On The Wall

    astricks Report

    Lotte
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    kids can be so postive in a negative situation like a hospital

    View more comments
    #25

    The Fertility Clinic I Work For Received This Card From A Urologist

    The Fertility Clinic I Work For Received This Card From A Urologist

    mauv Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #26

    He Takes It Rather Well...

    He Takes It Rather Well...

    tuttibossi Report

    2WheelTravlr
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's funny, but fake. It was a photo shoot for an insurance company. http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=91277

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #27

    An ER Nurse And Her Coworkers Decided Gummy Bears Needed To Be Renamed

    An ER Nurse And Her Coworkers Decided Gummy Bears Needed To Be Renamed

    Apotator Report

    #28

    The Only Book In My Doctor's Waiting Room. I Think I Chose Well

    The Only Book In My Doctor's Waiting Room. I Think I Chose Well

    rsadambrown Report

    My O My
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where can I get one?

    View more comments
    #29

    Saw At Work Today... I Work At A Hospital

    Saw At Work Today... I Work At A Hospital

    DozertheDozarian Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #30

    This Pain Scale Found In My Doctor's Office

    This Pain Scale Found In My Doctor's Office

    Mastuh_KBM Report

    Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Better than the 1-10 scale where you only base it on the worst pain you've experienced. What if you haven't had much before or are worn down by having serious pain a lot? I've always found this really difficult as pain from a broken bone is a different type of pain to, say, nerve pain.

    diane a
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Weird - I toddled into A&E said "i think I my arm is broken" and sat quite comfortably just supporting my damaged elbow with my other hand for a good couple of hours before being seen. I was in too much shock to be operated on than night - 3 hour operation 3 plates 12 screws and a long bolt later - 40 clips 16" scar and semi disabled arm for life - It hurt like hell once the shock wore off

    Load More Replies...
    diane a
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the ever so nice surgeon let me take a pic of the x ray bionic-arm...c4cd79.jpg bionic-arm-5bb784fc4cd79.jpg

    Load More Replies...
    Cupcake Cloud
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't count how many times i've asked patients to go by this rating, explaining that 10 is considered the most unbearable pain they can possibly imagine, followed by them, without hesitation, saying 10, before getting up and going to the bathroom or something. You're not a ten if you can walk, seemingly unaffected. We take the pain seriously even if it's not a ten.

    diane a
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the only thing near a 10 was a trapped nerve in my lower back - had to crawl to the bathroom in utter agony - crying with every crawl - luckily it eased off after a few days

    Load More Replies...
    Freya the Wanderer
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pain affects different people differently - and yes, redheads are more sensitive to pain. I've heard numerous jokes about what the 1-10 scale should be.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've heard that too. I've seen people cry over a minor injury and refuse to even get up (I think they like the sympathy), yet some people bear the worst kind of pain without complaining.

    Load More Replies...
    Brandon Collinsworth
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think I may live in a perpetual state of 4

    Foxyloxylou
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i lost it at "mauled by a bear or ninjas"

    Lisa Catacosinos
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have tried to explain nerve pain versus other pain because I have a very bad back and arthritis from my jaw down. I have to use a walker chair because if my nerve pain says "sit down now" there's no possible way not to. You can't just "work through it". But people just think you're being overly dramatic. It's just so maddening.

    Susann Campbell
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My pain tolerance is not like this at all. Starting at six it is, hurts and I'm tired of it hurting, seven I just want to sleep so the pain will go away, eight is when I wake up because of the pain, nine is crying and shaking, ten is don't touch me, don't touch it , don't even look at me thinking your going to touch it.

    Rinpai
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The pain scale almost killed me in december 2015. I went in with a kidney stone blocking my uritor a kidney failing filled with pus and a blood infection. I am overly stoic so it can be hard to tell how I am other than taking my word for it. Safe to say I was at a true 10 literally almost died. They treated me like a druggie and sent me home cause I was not screaming in pain. Like...dude I was near dead I don't have that in me. Long story short got sent home from E.R two nights in a row third night was transferred to a different hospital and immediately was put under for surgery of some sort and spent a week recovering from some weird thing that apparently has a 50% mortality rate just coz its stupidly rare and often misdiagnosed. Went home the morning christmas eve and a few hours later there were a bunch of tornadoes in the city that the hosputal I had been in

    Cynthia Doyle
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I HATE the pain scale. I went to the ER with the worst pain I’ve ever felt, but I knew it was not the maximum pain one can experience.

    Meonthissite S
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I disagree, 11 would be unconscious. I've had level 10 before, it's not pleasant but it gives you full on panic attack and adrenaline response because the pain is so great you can't do anything but walk around or roll around on the floor in a panic.

    deanna woods
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This beats the guy who goes from smiling to crying. I always feel so bad for that pain scale.

    Jennifer Mckenna
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I say if you aren't crying it's below 6. If you are cry/moaning it's a 7, wailing, crying and thrashing about to try to alleviate the pain at least a little while begging for mercy/death is a 9 and of course if it's so bad you pass out is a 10.

    Elizabeth
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One time I got tree bark in my eye and scratched the actual eye. At first was around 9 but when we got there i said 7

    Jace
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like the famous artist/painter scale.

    Tiari
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't get the “bees“. Can someone explain? (Bees don't hurt.)

    Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They hurt if they sting you generally and the subsequent pain can depend on your tolerance to the bee venom. I get what is referred to as a severe local reaction. It isn't pretty!

    Load More Replies...
    Magpie
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is BRILLIANT! Can we buy copies somewhere ?

    Magpie
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love this !!! Brilliant can we get copies ?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT