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Hi, everyone. I’m Joy from Alloy Comics (artwork by Nohra Johnston). Thank you for your support on my previous post, which was featured on the homepage of Bored Panda and accumulated over 56K views!

Here are 50 more comics that give you the backstory before the baby was born. I’ll publish 50 more parenting comics here at Bored Panda soon. Please follow Alloy Comics on Facebook and Instagram to view the most recent comics, published weekly.

More info: Facebook | Instagram

#1

Prank

Prank

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Ellis Tamura
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I wanted kids I would do this.

Gregory Wilson
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG. Just stumbled upon your comic strip. Every panel is consistently hilarious! Sorry for the two-year late kudos, hope 'Alloy' is a success!

Gina Festa
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i remember a employer at her work ask a friend of mine if she was preg, she was but she pretended she wasn't

Jonathan Nichols
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I wouldn't be confused, I'd just think you were an idiot

As a stand-up comic who married a man who is almost just as funny, I don't really have to "write" jokes. All of the panels from Alloy Comics come from real conversations or situations in our lives. Whenever something happens, I usually share it on Facebook first to see how the joke plays with my friends.

The popular ones (or my personal favorites) are rewritten in comic script form and given to my talented artist Nohra Johnston about once or twice a year for her to churn out one at a time.

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    #2

    Stretch

    Stretch

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    JustAnotherCommenter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Took me so long to get this…my brain is tired

    #3

    The Kissing Stool

    The Kissing Stool

    Report

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even on my tippy toes on a stool, I'm still shorter than my husband... Kissing-St...44f83a.jpg Kissing-Stool-621fa0f44f83a.jpg

    Gabrielle B. Marcelo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ALLOY COMICS DONT EVER LISTEN mateo HES A F*****G JERK AND HE DESERVES TO ROT IN EITHER SATANS SWEATY DISGUSTING SULFURUS ARMPITS OR HIS SHITTY BUTTCRACK WHICH HE HASNT WASHED FOR F*****G MILLENIA

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No worries. I'm confident enough to not let trolls like that bother me. I know I'm short and my husband finds me adorable. A good marriage is when both people think they're the lucky one, right? :)

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    Brian Flanagan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's my wife and I...only I'm the one on the stepstool

    LittleLiz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Has she made you the 3rd happiest man in Connecticut

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    Emmy kirkham
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my parents, my mom literally has to get a stool to kiss my dad.

    A kitchen sink
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ll probably be the one on the stool

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    Since Alloy Comics is based on us, we don't really have to "create" any characters nor do we need to come up with original designs. My husband happens to be a tall, brunette, white dude with a beard, and I am a short, round, Asian girl. We look like a meatball and a strand of spaghetti together, or perhaps 1o (note: I used o instead of 0 because I'm very short).

    #4

    Abuse

    Abuse

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    A Polar Bear
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, things escalated pretty quickly

    DumplingQueen
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why did this make me laugh so hard

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    #5

    Mine!

    Mine!

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    rumade
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her lil face in that last panel :D UuU

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you! This is like the first time anyone has ever called my face "lil." :D

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    I'm actually quite surprised we haven't met anyone who's said anything negative about Alloy Comics...yet! Most people find our comics adorable. Some people question if we really talk to each other like that. The answer is yes, we certainly do. There is no exaggeration here. Alloy Comics is my life. My favorite part of the creative process is when Nohra does all the hard work and sends me the comic on Friday night.

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    #6

    Kick

    Kick

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    Arthur Dupuis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the sister's face like "excuse me hwat"

    Saint Lynnie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember the first time someone asked me "it's beautiful, isn't it?" When I felt the first kick. They were shocked when I said "reminds me of the movie Aliens" and then proceeded to compare my child to a sexually transmitted parasite. Lol. I have a weird sense of humor

    2022emmam trent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I first thought she was calling her sister that, I was like ?

    #7

    Shaven

    Shaven

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    Gina Festa
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    imagine the husband have a twin brother as the husband came back with a pack of beer and popcorn

    Emmy kirkham
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad when he shaves: ._. My mom: '3'

    Nohra and I love creating art. Alloy Comics has been and always will be free online. We enjoy making readers happy and resonating with other people. Unfortunately, in this day and age, artists actually have to pay social media companies in order to be noticed, and I simply don't have the funds for that.

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    That's why I hope we will gain enough of a following one day to be approached by a publisher so we can reach a wider audience. Let's spread the joy around...pun intended!

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    #8

    Eggs

    Eggs

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    Gabrielle B. Marcelo
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    SWEET BABY JESUS THIS MADE ME SPIT MY CHOCOLATE! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    Mine Truly
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He's not even helping her cook??!! Who sits on his @$$ instead of helping his pregnant wife cook??! He'll be lucky HE has a penis and balls by the end of this!!!

    Samuel Zhao
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who says no to a pregnant women?

    I Sus
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pêñîś àñd bāłłš

    A Polar Bear
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #9

    @sshole

    @sshole

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    GadgetGirl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Special Treat...wait until you're stuck in traffic.

    Saint Lynnie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or waiting until I've just gotten comfortable in bed to start training for his black belt.

    #10

    Housewife

    Housewife

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    $H@D0W_WaRR!0R
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm having second thoughts...Go on...

    Dl B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought they slept with the mailman.

    Fergus Corgi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Housewives are cooks, maids, personal assistants and so much more even before you add in kids. The fantasy requires a lot of money to pay for the household staff you will require.

    Jonathan Labelle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    he is like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLqL_68JPec&ab_channel=SoundLibrary

    #11

    Homophobic?

    Homophobic?

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    panic
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yes I can say from experience boys suck (as someone who is attracted to males)

    Scarlett
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can say from experience people suck. Date fictional characters, they will never give you up, never let you down, never run and desert you...

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    Gina Festa
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    at least he honest and not homophobic

    JustCallMeAcorn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Real conversation with my mom and her male co-worker. Co-worker: "Boys are gross." My mom: "Why did you marry one then?" Co-worker: "Because girls are weird."

    Iheart bored Panda 32
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate that people tease the LGBTQAI+ comminity

    GadgetGirl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Boys are obvious when they get in trouble. Girls are subtle. You don't find out there even was trouble until they need you to fix it.

    Fergus Corgi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Girls can be horrible too. We just can't get you pregnant 😉

    Alexander Smith
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pan male, yes many of them are awful but not all of them.

    Steve
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What in the actual f**k?

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    #12

    Drinking

    Drinking

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    Camilo Madrigal
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you actually do that? If so, we are going to be best friends

    Saint Lynnie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha! That reminds me of the time I shaved every hair from my passed out drunk (now ex) boyfriend's body, even went as far as to trim his eye lashes. Boy looked like "powder" and was very itchy for the next few weeks. To be fair, he drew first blood when he cut my hair (which way so long, it was down to my knees) in my sleep. I would braid it up at night before bed and he had cut it at the very top of the braid. It took months for it to grow out enough to get an even cut. I cried like a baby because I had been growing it out for years!

    #13

    Cyrus!

    Cyrus!

    Report

    Your Favorite Buzz Boi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Acquired the CYRUS! CYRUS was put in your ITEMS stash. When used in battle, CYRUS restores 50% of your max WILL TO LIVE but cuts your remaining STAMINA in half.

    Tacocat
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aww I love that name! Congratulations!!

    Jonathan Labelle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPZXxlckBSs&ab_channel=X-Clusive

    #14

    Details

    Details

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    Gina Festa
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what every guy would say to their wives after she give birth

    GadgetGirl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hey.....are these gonna stay like this?"

    #15

    Cuff

    Cuff

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    #16

    Food Baby

    Food Baby

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    *Displayname*=idk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You truly are the funniest cartoonist I've ever seen. . .

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank you so much! He deserves half the credit sometimes. We are very lucky that our senses of humor are similar. Please follow us on FB or IG. We publish a new comic every week!

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    #17

    Boobs

    Boobs

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    bipotternerd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THIS I'm not even close to being a mom and my boobs are so heavy lol

    Holly Velie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I where an H cup and my bras don’t even fit the back pain is reeaaal 😭

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    Jody Whitmarsh
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imma a grams and they keep growing. Wtf?

    #18

    Butt Rub

    Butt Rub

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    Dana Ondráčková
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously its soothing. I was confused why patting a baby on its butt makes it to go to sleep, then my partner pat me And I almost drift off to sleep

    Rylosalex
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aw! He was just trying to be helpful

    #19

    Boy

    Boy

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    AzKhaleesi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh no as a mom of 5 boys and 3 girls, you worry about all no matter what. I have one son that is trying to figure out his relationship with a long term girlfriend, worry. One Bi son who is still trying to figure out his sexuality....worry and kinda mad he keeps hurting people in his wake. one special needs son ...worry. One almost 18 son who still has no idea what he wants to do with his life long term...worry. One young son that isn't having any problems, that is worrysome in itself lol. 1 daughter that lives on her own in another state ....worry. Another that is about to move out with serious boyfriend....worry, mid teen girl....worry. Point is, it doesn't matter, you worry all the time.

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, my God, girl! Virtual hugs for you and kudos for taking on the burden of repopulating the earth! I'm one and done! I can't even imagine what you've gone through. My toddler had a public melt down in Kohl's and I was just about to bang my head on the wall! Mwah for you!

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    Saint Lynnie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey I'm the same way. I'm so happy that I have both boys and no girls because I was terrified of having to raise a girl, especially considering all the trauma I endured growing up. That's not to say boys can't experience the same, but I really am relieved. Besides, I'm not really girly enough for a girl.

    creative user name
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    love your art style! sometimes i wish i wasn't aromantic because of all the loving people, but sadly it's not my choice to make! give your son (if he is born) a boop on the nose for me!

    Does It Really Matter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow... U should meet my wife and our 2sons and daughter how she is? I know if your a young woman looking or talking to our youngest(whos 19)she will pounce on U like lioness

    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about with an enby?

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    #20

    Dream

    Dream

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    JuJu
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know the feeling. I dreamed of my grandma's "Kartoffelkniester" two nights ago and am feeling kinda hungry since then.

    JuJu
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a dish from old times. You take a backing sheet and put a thin layer of salt on it. Take middle sized potatoes, cut them lengthwise (do NOT peel) and put them, cut surface down) on the salt. Leave about 1 cm space between the potatoes. Put in oven at ~150°C (that would be around 300°F) and bake until cooked through (that can take an hour +- 20min) Use your last enegy to get the sticky f*ckers from the backing sheet and eat with cold butter.

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    Sofia Gonzalez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate when that happens! It's horrible!

    Rylosalex
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like how her husband looks at her

    Mine Truly
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The most satisfying thing in the world, though, is when you dream you're eating something and it turns out you have it in the house when you wake up.

    Gregory Wilson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG. Joy, all the frames are consistently funny! Discovered your work kinda late by two years. Hope your comic strip succeeds.

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    #21

    Ring

    Ring

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    Cadmar Orion
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awww, that's so sweet edit: for the record, it made me think of you story, that's why I thought it was sweet. Also, I'm glad she didn't get all pissy about him forgetting it, sheesh.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Marking your property is not sweet, it's creepy.

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    J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sharpie ring 😂

    #22

    Gender Reversal

    Gender Reversal

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    Chin-sun Ming
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The look is like “the audacity”

    Saint Lynnie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Both of my sons have such beautiful long eyelashes. I'm so jealous

    ETHAN FLEETWOOD
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    all guys do it to see if other girls will talk to us

    #23

    Dinner

    Dinner

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    #24

    Alexa

    Alexa

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    Cadmar Orion
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know from experience that this is accurate

    Claire Cochrane
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Granddaughter asked Alexa " When does Spring start " & Alexa said, " March (something) 2024 " Funny & scary.

    JustAnotherCommenter
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alexa has feelings…run before the robot apocalypse takes over

    #26

    Evened

    Evened

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    bipotternerd
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    he said ... lol what the f**k have i done

    Rosey Red
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine and hubby's term of endearment!

    Alif Zakaria
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perfectly balanced, as all things should be

    #27

    Busy

    Busy

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    Sofia Gonzalez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The husband's living look as she says that 🤣

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    #28

    Pie

    Pie

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    $H@D0W_WaRR!0R
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Darn, Those people actually used me in my working experience of 2 years?!?! ╰(‵□′)╯

    #29

    Candy Crush

    Candy Crush

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    2022emmam trent
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like that username, especially for that game.

    #30

    Renovation

    Renovation

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    Daniel Marsh
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are they drawn that way in this one because Alex's mom hadn't rescued their hair salon yet?

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll be honest: I had to look it up to understand your reference to Tabitha Takes Over. But now that I've done that, I gotta admit: the resemblance is uncanny!

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    #31

    Twice

    Twice

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    #32

    Football

    Football

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    Saint Lynnie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha. I witnessed my father actually crying because the cowboys lost... Which makes me realize he probably cries a lot. Yet shows zero emotion in situations where he probably really should cry.

    Emmy kirkham
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    haha, my dad Crys from football too!!! I like his expression too! hehe

    #33

    Married Finally!

    Married Finally!

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    #34

    Property

    Property

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    Alexander Smith
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Too late for an argument too early for a divorce lol.

    Emmy kirkham
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

    #35

    Fortune Cookie

    Fortune Cookie

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    #36

    Tumor

    Tumor

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    Saint Lynnie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've made the joke before that babies are sexually transmitted parasites.

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately, many mothers don't have these qualms...

    #37

    Belly Button

    Belly Button

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    #38

    Complaint

    Complaint

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    #39

    Grooming

    Grooming

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    #40

    Whale

    Whale

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    #41

    Hunger

    Hunger

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    Kat Girl
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or murder. Ok sorry lol

    #42

    Date Night

    Date Night

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    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My last name is Lin. I made the reservation under "Joy Lin" so the hostess called my husband Mrs. Lin... which he was not a fan of.

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    Robecca
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Some of these are a bit backwards in sexist values.

    Saint Lynnie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh hush, they're a lovely couple with a caustic sense of humor and it's great.

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    #43

    Stuck

    Stuck

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    #44

    Reminder

    Reminder

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    #45

    Kangaroo

    Kangaroo

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    #46

    Cushion

    Cushion

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    KC Nordquist
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My kids moved differently in my belly. My daughter gave me swift kicks, karate chops, and full on cartwheels. My son danced.

    Alexander Smith
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...with your husband's activities during the discussion...you were a parent before the child was born.

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    #48

    Chunky

    Chunky

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    Alexander Smith
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want to see what happened when you caught him!

    Your Favorite Buzz Boi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We gather here today, to remember our good friend and family member, Alex. Although he lies before us today, beaten like my meat, he is still the Alex we knew and loved. We hope he is in a better place now.

    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha, good eulogy! I feel like half of these comics could end with, "And that's why I killed my husband, Your Honor."

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    Matthew Barabas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if this is true, your relationship is extremely combative and adversarial. not a good thing.

    #49

    Health Nazi

    Health Nazi

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    #50

    Sleep

    Sleep

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    Saint Lynnie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Left side with legs elevated... Sounds like it would kill your knees.

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