There is something unique about the funny pet names we give to our four-legged companions. They might sound insulting to those passing by, but to the pet owners, they are special. Plenty of funny animal names try to put a smile on people's faces. However, the line between cringe and funny is thin, so it's important to think about the name beforehand. The funny names for pets we create are not always as hilarious as we think.
The good thing with many hilarious pet names — we understand them quite perfectly and get a laugh out of them, while our four-legged companions don’t. Unlike with a child’s name, we can be silly when naming our pets. Some funny dog names, like Big Dog and Glitter, seem ridiculous but suit quite perfectly for a pair of big, scary dogs. For the funny part of the name to stick, you have to play into the breed of the pet, its looks, and its personality.
If you are out of hilarious names to give your pet, you don’t have to search the whole internet. User Sigma_Rho asked the veterinarians of the AskReddit community about the hilarious names of pets they've heard. Below, we have compiled a list of the funniest pet names given by other users! Upvote the ones that put a smile on your face. On the other hand, if you’ve heard a hilarious name yourself, share it in the comments below.
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ubercanucksfan said:
"My personal favourite is a dog named Woofgang, which inspired me to name my cat Meowzart."
Gizholm replied:
"This has inspired me to name a dog Johann Sebastian Bark."
"I always wanted to have an animal named peeve so I could say 'this is my pet peeve.'"
FroggiJoy87 said:
"My husband use to work at a Humane Society vet office. He was up for adoption, not in for vet care, but once a rooster came in named Cluck Norris. (This was in Reno, Nevada.)"
VentKazemaru replied:
"Your husband is up for adoption?"
FriedPorkchop said:
"I have some friends who have a cat named Greg from Accounting."
koinu-chan_love replied:
"They should get a second cat and name her Linda from HR."
DanimusRex said:
"My friend used to have a cat named Chicken Salad. He currently owns a cat named Grandma."
Standingisland replied:
"'Sorry I have to get off the phone. Grandma just pooped on the couch!'
'Grandma is always sneaking chicken scraps out of the trash can!'
'Grandma always flops on the floor when I get home so I can rub her belly.'"
"My dog’s name is Bark Obama."
Calliope719 said:
"My uncle had a cat in the 70s named 'F*ck You', so when his cat got out, he could walk around the city yelling 'hey, f*ck you!'
Rumor has it that he had a drug problem."
striped_frog replied:
"Man, a cat with a drug problem must be tough to handle. No wonder he was always getting out."
"Used to be a vet tech. There was a dog named Possum. Thought that was an odd name, until you walked up to the dog and it dropped to the ground and rolled over onto it's back. Most fitting name ever."
"Vet tech here. Best one was a tiny little Chihuahua named 'Bone Crusher.' He was owned by an amateur body builder. Guy was like 6'4" and close to 300 lbs. Funny situation all in all."
"My cat is named Single Lady but she's a f*cking diva so we sometimes call her Mariah Hairy."
"Not a vet but my sister has a beta fish named Swim Shady."
"NAV, but in high school my friend had an iguana named Mariguana."
"I know a dog called Askit, so when people inquire about the dog's name, the owner says, 'Askit.'"
"I met a cat named Maybelline at the vet which I thought was a great name because it comes with a built-in theme song. Like someone walks into the room and says, 'Who knocked over the vase?' And you sing, 'Maybe it's Maybelline.'"
justGusCos said:
"Had a neighbor once who had two massive Rottweilers and allowed their young daughter to name them - Big Dog and Glitter."
silversatire replied:
"Lmfao some massive, tire-puncturing Rottie named Glitter. Amazing."
bro if she hgets bullied at school for a dog named glitter, next day: pulls up with a giant 175 pound dog sitting next to her.
"My friend named her black cat Edgar Allan Purrr. I'm proud to say it was my idea."
"As a child my aunt had a tortoise called Galloping Dandruff. It was named by my grandfather.
One of the best pet names I've ever heard of was a Fjord Horse named Harrison Fjord."
"Worked at a day care, bulldog named Potato, was a favorite."
FinnSolomon said:
"Not a vet but my hamsters are named Alexander Hamsterton and Aaron Furr."
emjaybe replied:
"My daughter's hamster is named Scarlett JoHamster."
"I have a rescue husky who was abandoned at a petrol station in Cyprus. We named him Diesel."
Aww cute name! it is a good reminder just how lucky the doggo and you were to find him and for him to find you.
"My friend named her cat Albus Purrrrrcival Wool-fric (he's SUPER fluffy) Brian Fluffledore. She calls him by his full name in all it's glory when he is naughty."
I don’t think I’d be able to remember all those names while angry at my cat.
"Wanker. A terrier mix who was actually pretty cool and not a wanker in any sense. Also a blind and deaf dog named Helen Smeller."
"Not a vet, but my husband named a feral tabby cat we adopted Alt-Tab because he'd make us switch from whatever task we were working on when he wanted attention or food."
yumyummers said:
"Not a Vet, but I do work with animals. We had a dog named Lunchbox. Still can’t get over that."
atget replied:
"Here in New York we let second graders name our new ferries and that’s how we got Lunchbox, McShiny, and the Friendship Express."
Commenter said:
"I have a cat named Meatloaf."
hotsweatymanlove replied:
"Cat out of hell."
I had a fish called meatloaf so used Mr loafs real name on my dog - Marvin lol
"Okay, not a vet, but my bf and I were walking through campus one night. We hear vicious barking nearby, followed by a stern, male voice saying 'be quiet, Biscuit!'
Just the juxtaposition of the downright feral growling and the fact that the dogs name was Biscuit had us in stitches."
Somebody who lives next to me has a dog named cupcake, she’s tiny and cute but actually kind of aggressive
Luna_Lilliputian said:
"I had a friend growing up who spent all of high school avoiding using her cat’s name in front of others. She’d been allowed to name her cat at the age of three, and as a teenager, was embarrassed to have a pet named 'Pretty Kitty.'"
fooduvluv replied:
"Someone once posted on Twitter that their mom took their pet tortoise to the vet and was too embarrassed to say its name was Voldetort so she told them it was Susan."
"Dog in my service dog class was named Toast."
"Had a Pomeranian mix named Stinkerbell. She loved to get in peoples faces and kiss. If you blew in her face when she was kissing you she would go crazy and kiss faster to the point you couldn't breath. I used to tell people if they didn't want her to kiss you just to blow in her face."
I can't think of a better way to die than death by Pomeranian kisses
"Not a vet, but my dads buddy rescued a cat from a crackhouse in his neighborhood. So his wife named the cat Crackpipe.
Whenever they took the cat to the vet, they would tell them its name was Crackel."
"Crazy cat lady here. The best pet names I’ve heard are Speed Bump for a tortoise and Schrodinger for a cat. I’m stealing that one."
My grandma's cet is named Conservatory Cat or Connie Cat for short :3
"My cats name growing up was Edward Scissor Paws."
"Leonardo DiCatio; Zombie Apocalypse. A friend of mine also had a rabbit called Floppy, and the family surname was Dick, so you can imagine how that looked in the diary."
me reading this: floppy? that's a cute name. Oh that surname tho. I don't get it- oh wait. NO NO NO NO NO
"DVM Student here. I've met:
A cat named Paperwork
A cat named Monkeyslap
A toy Schnauzer named Snackpack
And a Great Dane named 'Left Boot'...
His human was a 7 year old boy who yelled at me because I misread his name which was written 'L. Boot' Which I assumed was a kid trying to write 'El Boots'. I was like 'El Boots' is an adorable name, did you think of that?' He yelled at me and said, 'NO, HE'S JUST ONE BOOT. LEFT BOOT.'
Also, my Leopard Gecko's name is Fitzlizard Darcy..."
"Not a veterinarian, but my mother had three gold fish named Rick, James, and B*tch. Also, my five year old named her cat Queen Hissyfit."
From elementary school to first year of college I had fish named Moe, Larry, Curly, Shemp, Joe Bessa, Dempsey and Leviathan (not in that order)
"Tiny 3 month old baby kitten that barely meowed named... Khal Drogo."
"Had a cat come in named Ghostface Killah once. He was all black with a white 'mask' on his face so it fit pretty well."
My late husband had a cat named Kato. She was a black and white tuxedo with a black mask.
"Not a vet but saw Lizard named Harry.
As in yer a Lizard Harry."
"Grandpa is a vet, but these pets were in the family. 'Migraine' - yellow lab, 'Alfonzo Horatio Montego III' - I don't know what breed he was. He was about 70 lbs, 'Henry Jesus' - huge gray and spotted Shepard that was born an only child. 'Mecca' or 'Mecca Lecca High Mecca Hiney Ho' - Her butt had so much emotion. There's more but those are the ones off the top of my head."
"My brother's cat was called Tiba. He didn't want a cat, it kind of moved in. He took it to the vet and, because it didn't have a name was marked "TBA" (To Be Announced)."
Respect to your brother for taking the kitty on as his own anyway. I didn't want a kitty but your hear now
"I have a job where I go into people’s houses all of the time. One day, I saw a photograph of a corgi mix on the fireplace mantle and I commented that it was a very cute dog. I asked what its name was.
Pot Roast.
So I said, “Oh. Well, he’s really cute!” The guy sets the coffee he was drinking down, turns to me in disgust and says, “She’s a GIRL!”
Tldr: I misgendered a man’s dog and he really took it to heart."
My neighbors misgender my dogs all the time. In the 10 years I've had them, I've never bothered to correct them, even though their names are very gender specific
"Our 3 yr old was given the responsibility of naming our Hedgehog.
He chose 'Chicken the Hedgefrog.'"
My stepdaughter is getting a hedgehog in a few weeks, to be named Marble. I like Hedginald, but alas… Her mom has a dog named Campfire, which I love, too.
"Not a vet, but if any of the ladies from our vet place were here, they'd probably tell the story of me bringing in my sister's cat to be spayed. And I had to look them in the eyes and tell them this tiny, buzzing calico girl was named 'Batman.'
As the lady behind the counter put it, 'We've had a couple other pets named Batman. None of them were girls, though.'
As to why her name was Batman, my sister, who was in her 30's at the time, just insisted repeatedly that 'Batman is a cool name for a girl.'"
"I once had a pet emperor scorpion named Cuddles."
I had a plastic toy xenomorph (the creatures from the Alien movies) whom I named Cuddles as a child XD I still have Cuddles, he's on my desk right now!
"Not a vet but my neighbour had a dog called deefer (d for)... The dog's name was literally 'deefer dog' (d for dog.)"
We had a Jack Russell called Deefer.. he was fab & daft as a brush. R.I.P Deef.. I missed the chance to call one of our cats Ceefer.... C for Cat.. 🤦♀️🤣
"I'm no Vet, but my wife and I adopted an adult cat who was originally named Sammy, but I wasn't satisfied with a pet that didn't have an 80s reference for a name so I tried for Mr. Roboto, I got vetoed on that so I went with Domo Hairy Gato instead.
Side note: I'm no longer married, but still have Domo aka The Domonater, Lord Bishop Grand Admiral Marshal of the Noms."
whiskey__throwaway said:
"My husband's parents had two cats named Watson and Crick. Now they just have Crick, who is a marshmallow of a cat."
Aayin replied:
"Did they take credit for Rosalind's mousing techniques?"
pippabeemine said:
"I work at a vets, we had to do a call back for advice on a cat named Ballbag."
torelma replied:
"Why do I feel like this story is set in Scotland."
pippabeemine replied:
"Nope, it would be Bawbag if it was Scotland."
And probably a more common name, too. I know my cousin (in Glasgow) has a cat named Bawbag, so there's likely more
"My sister used to work at a doggy daycare, and there was a dog whose name was Dammit. 'Come inside, Dammit!'"
"Am a tech. Once had a olive yellow lab named Dawg at some point. Last week we had this really small yet chuncky chihuahua named Walnut who couldn't keep her tongue in her mouth. There was a dog I was instructed to not even go near as he's extremely aggressive and needs to be calm for his groom. His name is Hayden so I'm expecting some giant GSD or something. No. It was a small all brown, ancient cocker spaniel."
"Worked at a daycare, my favorite was "diogi" (d-o-g)."
"Not a vet, but work at a vet clinic (kennel worker). We had two dogs come in named 'Peanut Butter' (male) and 'Butter Cookie' (female). Both responded exclusively to 'Butter.'
Another time, we had a mean pom named 'Puppylove.'"
"My parents rescued a Staffordshire terrier and a Pitbull mix. Staffie was named Bogart (Bogie for short) and my parents didn't change his name. My dad started calling him BigHead. Now he only responds to BigHead. His name is down as BigHead on vet and groomer records. People think my dad is being mean until they see this dog. He really does have a rather large head."
"My nephew named his cat Farmer and his dog Pancake."
"My friend got a kitten for her son and he named it Shoe."
I had a friend tell me back in the day she had to get off MSN to watch a shoe... lmao
unusuallylost said:
"Vet tech here, we did a minor surgery on a cat named Bastard yesterday. Nowhere near the top but I can't remember the ridiculous ones off the top of my head."
MightBeAVampire replied:
"When I was a little kid I had a cat named BC. My mom told me that it was short for 'Baby Cat', named after me.
Years later I found out he was originally named 'Bastard Cat', by my dad."
I had a little orange kitten named Fat Bastard. He weighed a whole pound at 3 weeks old. His single braincell got him into trouble that I couldn’t get him out of, bless his heart and rest his soul.
"IANAV but a saw a poster for a missing cat named Chairman Meow."
That’s actually the name of a cat from the Mortal Instruments series!
"If I get a dog I’m going to call it Phydeaux."
"Friend of mine has an outdoor cat who hangs out on the driveway.
Cat's name is Parkon."
I'm trying so hard not to laugh at that, because one day it might not be so funny
"Two dachshunds named Jesus and Mary."
They should get one named Joseph so they can be like “Jesus Mary and Joseph” Edit: people say Jesus Mary and Joseph
"My aunt and uncle used to have a lovely white cat named Dumptruck. I miss Dumptruck."
"We have a regular customer who has named their cat, 'cat' but in binary code."
"Not a vet, but have friends with cat named Battlestation."
"Not a vet but I work at a pet store. A regular names her dogs after house supplies. Her current dog is named Drano."
Oh god, this reminds me of my ex's naming conventions. He looks at whatever is on his desk and names game characters that. He wanted to name our kitten "Vicks" (VapoRub) and he used to call my Belgian Malinois (who was named Fenring) "Squats" for some reason.
"My dad's a vet. We've had a lot of cats named Hitler and Adolf and Auschwitz (from a Jewish couple), but the funniest has to be a class pet rabbit from a third grade teacher that the class named Milton Abernathy. I have NO idea why that was chosen, but it makes me giggle whenever I hear it. Runner up is a golden retriever named Chad."
"I work at a doggie daycare. We have had a mini aussie named Crowbar, a cavalier named Chanel No. 5, and a schnoodle named Mr. Pickles. Also, one client with the last name Crowe got her dog from a shelter and kept the name they gave him, which is Jim."
"My orange tabby is Bill 'F*cking' Murray. Yeah, he is a chill cat."
My current orange tabby is named His Royal Fuzziness, Samson Chester Marmalade Nimitz. He's a major character! If I'm in the kitchen doing ANYTHING, his favorite thing to do is a somersaulting flop onto the top of my feet.
"I met a one eyed dog named Fetty Pup."
I rescued and rushed an injured cat to a vet once. Poor thing lost its eye but the vet took care of the cat and got it back to health. One of the techs adopted him and named him Winky
"NAV, but when I was growing up we had 20-30 cats at any given time. My brother was pretty abusive towards them (it was pretty traumatizing living the way we did, so please be forgiving ).
Anyhow, we had wood floors and my bro would pile kittens up in front of the wall, take another kitten and slide them into the kitten pile and call it 'cat bowling'. Most cats would run away after being used as a bowling ball, but this one would run back to my brother and wait to be used as a ball again.
I named him Stupid. Stupid was a sweet cat. He would endure anything for attention. He also drooled... a lot.
One time my brother put rubber bands around his legs because he thought it was funny to see him bounce around and walk funny. Brother got bored of the game, Stupid ran off. He chewed through his leg to get the rubber band off and we had to get the leg amputated.
After the amputation I became protective and Stupid became the only cat allowed in my room. One night I was petting Stupid and then stopped because I was drifting off to sleep. Stupid kept nudging me and I kept pushing him away. Then Stupid bit my nose and wouldn't let go.
I jumped up screaming trying to shake him off. He wouldn't budge so I was bloody and screaming with a three-legged drooling cat named Stupid hanging from my nose."
A friend of mine has a belgian shepherd named Marsu which also means guinea pig in Finnish
My GSD mix is named Stilgar, after a character from my favorite book. His nickname quickly became "Stilly" or "Stil". Unbeknownst to us, he had contracted distemper on the farm he was born on, which eventually left him with myoclonus (constant, uncontrollable twitching.) It is ironic that his nickname is "Stil"... because he is literally never still XD He can't be, due to the myoclonus! XD
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I have had a beagle named Beagie, a yellow lab (almost white) who my dad named Farrah Fawcett because she was the prettiest blonde on the beach, and a really great mutt named Puppy Boy. Also, a rescued 3 legged cat that I named Tripod. Someone threw out an enormous orange Tomcat in front of the house (I live on a corner about a half mile from the nearest house, so people often drop animals there). First thing I said when I walked outside was "Dammit, not another cat!" I had Dammit for about 10 years. Several years after he passed, a tabby cat showed up, so I kept with the theme and she became DC (Damn Cat). I named my iguana Gomez, from the Adams Family. Had a rabbit named Easter. Raised a baby deer until he was off the bottle because the game warden couldn't find anyone licensed that could take him at the time. I named him Buck.
My Grandpa had dogs named, Dammit and Get Off. Get Off was originally named Freeway because he was found wandering the freeway, but he'd say "Dammit, get off!" to get them off the porch steps. I can't remember what Dammit's chosen name was because I was excited to get to curse ;)
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I have had pet rats named Nosewise, Little Fish (boy did that one confuse the vet) and The Heart Attack Rat.
A friend of mine has a belgian shepherd named Marsu which also means guinea pig in Finnish
My GSD mix is named Stilgar, after a character from my favorite book. His nickname quickly became "Stilly" or "Stil". Unbeknownst to us, he had contracted distemper on the farm he was born on, which eventually left him with myoclonus (constant, uncontrollable twitching.) It is ironic that his nickname is "Stil"... because he is literally never still XD He can't be, due to the myoclonus! XD
Load More Replies... I have had a beagle named Beagie, a yellow lab (almost white) who my dad named Farrah Fawcett because she was the prettiest blonde on the beach, and a really great mutt named Puppy Boy. Also, a rescued 3 legged cat that I named Tripod. Someone threw out an enormous orange Tomcat in front of the house (I live on a corner about a half mile from the nearest house, so people often drop animals there). First thing I said when I walked outside was "Dammit, not another cat!" I had Dammit for about 10 years. Several years after he passed, a tabby cat showed up, so I kept with the theme and she became DC (Damn Cat). I named my iguana Gomez, from the Adams Family. Had a rabbit named Easter. Raised a baby deer until he was off the bottle because the game warden couldn't find anyone licensed that could take him at the time. I named him Buck.
My Grandpa had dogs named, Dammit and Get Off. Get Off was originally named Freeway because he was found wandering the freeway, but he'd say "Dammit, get off!" to get them off the porch steps. I can't remember what Dammit's chosen name was because I was excited to get to curse ;)
Load More Replies... I have had pet rats named Nosewise, Little Fish (boy did that one confuse the vet) and The Heart Attack Rat.
