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40 Of The Most Savage Comebacks To Have Ever Graced Twitter, As Shared By This Account (New Posts)
You’re lying in your warm, cozy bed. The curtains are drawn, the soft rain pelting against the windowsill luring you to sleep as though it were a lullaby. It’s been a long day and, as your head sinks ever-so-deeper into the pillow, you wish to forget all about it, letting the darkness consume you. But then, your eyes burst open, struggling to focus on the once familiar surroundings.
A memory from fifteen years ago springs up from the depths of your subconscious, reminding you of a rude brat you once knew. ‘You’re so stupid, you’ve got cucumbers for brains!’ you hear him say. And now, only now, you’ve got a comeback good enough to ruin the life of this kid. “At least my mother loves me,” you think to yourself, sleep long forgotten.
A great comeback is difficult to come up with on the spot, yet some people seem to be absolute masters of the craft. The Twitter page Gems Of Replies has been collecting and sharing the most savage replies that they’ve come across on the social media platform. It’s not the first time Bored Panda has featured this page, so make sure to check out our previous post here.
Without further ado, let’s get into some quality roasts.
More info: Twitter
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
CallaghanLive 2 years ago
YOU get a holiday! YOU get a holiday! YOU get a holiday! EVERYBODY GETS A HOLIDAY
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roz 2 years ago
To be fair, a small little damp island conquered more than half the world and despite the cruelty, there IS something to be admired about that.
RoanTheMad 2 years ago
There's nothing admirable about a rich country making there way to poorer countries and deciding "this way of life is barbaric lets make them live like us and we'll rape/pillage/kill our way through to make sure of this!" and I say this as someone who (despite my otherwise non-british ethnicity) has live in Britain most my life and identifies as British too.
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The art of a good comeback should be a book. I know it’d be a bestseller in mere moments (if any of you crafty pandas decide to do this, lemme know and give me 5% for the idea, thanks!). In moments of stress and agitation, it’s so difficult to come up with anything mic-drop-worthy, the brain only returning to its full potential once the stress alleviates.
Thankfully, the Twitter page Gems Of Replies has been collecting the best of the best comebacks to random posts and tweets, making their 196.7K followers chuckle or cover their mouths in shock. The founders of the page previously told Bored Panda that it all started very organically, in the hope that they’d be able to spread some good humor to the people of Twitter.
RELATED:
#2
RoanTheMad 2 years ago
This is incredibly offensive, despite what you may think, it really isn't all "middle eastern" or "muslim" men that are against womens rights. Even in Iran right now, there are plenty of men protesting and risking their lives for the women's rights. Despite the fact that they are in a country where it's incredibly easy for them to turn a blind eye, they choose not to.
Terd Fergison 2 years ago
You bring up a great point. But, Islam very specifically discriminates against women. I guess you can be a Muslim man that wants womens' rights, but to do that you must contradict massive portions of the religion. I think it's much better to dump the evil mythology entirely. I feel the same way about christianity too. And all religions are fictional and therefore detrimental.
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Literal Pigeon 2 years ago
For the last time: it's the government, not all the individual people.
Terd Fergison 2 years ago
There are plenty misogynist Muslim individual men. And the religion itself is deeply misogynistic. Islam very specifically discriminates against women. I guess you can be a Muslim man that wants womens' rights, but to do that you must contradict massive portions of the religion. I think it's much better to dump the evil mythology entirely. I feel the same way about christianity too. And all religions are fictional and therefore detrimental.
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Hope Norton 2 years ago
FYI, that lioness is not alive. It's either taxidermied or a movie prop. Look at the eyes, not gold or greenish yellow like other lions. Also, the facial expression alone is distorted which is another tell that it's not real/alive. Even the fur looks weird.
#3
Tinu 2 years ago
People will just be throwing stats out there with no credibility to back it up.
Jordi Sharpe 2 years ago
I dunno, with swagger like that, Dr. Patel is probably prime DILF material.
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Just gotta warn you that actually calling someone a dilf outloud feels cringy; instant regret. I actually texted my best friend to apologize for that momentary lapse in judgment
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Twitter sometimes (especially nowadays) is seen as “a very serious medium and a social platform which is full of negativity and toxicity. So we thought why not feature content from Twitter only, which had captivated our attention and was memorable in nature,” they explained. They started screenshotting and cataloging their favorite replies, sharing them one by one.
The page quickly gained traction on Twitter and beyond, with people loving the little gold nuggets of humor. “People enjoy reading a good reply—it holds their attention because of its spontaneous expression showcasing superior wit and excellent humor. Now, who wouldn’t enjoy that?” asked the creators of the page.
The audience also sometimes gets involved in the content creation, sharing their favorite finds, but what the original creators appreciate most is the support that they receive from their fans. “With the love, support, and appreciation that we’ve received, it’s not difficult to manage the account,” they said.
#4
Id row 2 years ago
But trees produce oxygen? "A tree has the ability to provide an essential of life for all living things on our planet – oxygen, and the power to remove harmful gases like carbon dioxide making the air we breathe healthier." https://www.usda.gov/media/blog/2015/03/17/power-one-tree-very-air-we-breathe
Paulio 2 years ago
Trees also consume and sequester co2 by photosynthesis. CO2 goes in, o2 goes out. Often times the carbon gets released out again via cellular respiration, but some does get held in the tree until it dies or something.
Load More Replies... Frank Ropen 2 years ago
Everytime Musk speaks about a Mars station, Total recall comes into my mind, the Schwarzenegger version, where people need to pay for oxygen.
pink_panda 2 years ago
This should be at the top. It's so basic. What the hell is wrong with humans?
Marek Čtrnáct 2 years ago
Problem is that while trees DO do this, they are slow. A faster method is needed. Direct carbon capture or how they call it.
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#6
Jordi Sharpe 2 years ago
He has a degree..IN HIGH DEGREE FACE BLASTING. He is a Doctor of Brutality. My Family Practitioner... of PAIN. He shall do no harm... except to your EGO!
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Michael Fernandez 2 years ago
Ignoring the fact that he purports to run at least five companies, he has at least 8 children, and instead of spending time with any of them, he stays up all night hate-tweeting. The guy’s a complete loser.
Solidhog 2 years ago
Did not revolutionise rockets. Sadly that goes to the Nazis. And created the modern electric car?????? Never heard of Toyota Prius then?
Bear Family 2 years ago
Prius is and has always been a short range hybrid car. Initially always has with electric assist. Now can do Chevy Volt like all-electric driving for tens of miles before the gas engine is required. It is a good car and the electric range is enough to handle most people's daily driving needs.
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Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
And he's running Tesla into the ground as well.
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A snide remark and an intentional insult may seem like unequal battles. Directed toward those with less power, an insult is not a sparring but a verbal mugging. And as explained by Edwin Battistella, when insults are back-handed remarks or micro-aggressions, they are sucker punches.
But we’re not anyone’s punching bag and there comes a time and place to end the rude rhetoric. Rhea Wessel argues that the key to coming up with a winning retort is to hone your listening skills so that you can respond at lightning speed. At the end of the day, timing is everything. You’re either destroying them in the moment, or you let them rule another day; it’s that simple.
#7
Pamela24 1 year ago
I'm not a Taylor Swift fan by any means. In fact - I have a problem with several things she does. But it makes me lol that there are grown men out there (who certainly think of themselves as not "emotional") who feel like they cannot no longer enjoy a sport spectacle because she's going to be there cheering her boyfriend.
CanadianaKa 1 year ago
Ditto. How on earth is it OK to blame her because the media chooses to cover her presence? There are many actors, directors and other celebrities who go to basketball and football games and aren't made the centre of attention.
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#8
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
And now I'm thinking of the woman who zipped her boyfriend up in a suitcase and left him in there to die. D:
#9
CallaghanLive 2 years ago
I do apply body lotion on my face. I should perhaps change that.
Load More Replies... Jay Mellor 2 years ago (edited)
Unless you have skin conditions that need medication, you don't need a skincare routine. Washing daily and maybe using a moisturiser is fine. The human body has done great without constant cosmetic intervention for as long as we've been around. Girls may think they need more creams because make-up can dry out skin and clog pores, making skin look like it needs help when it wouldn't if you didn't wear make-up. Also doesn't help that adverts, movies and social media makes skin look perfectly smooth and soft and one tone. That's not natural. It's normal to get occasional spots, darker patches and have wrinkles as you age. It's okay.
BeepBeepBoopBoop 2 years ago
yep! I don't wear makeup but I wash my face and put in a sunscreen moisturizer in the morning
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SkinnyMini 2 years ago
I mean hers was a comment on guys having often naturally good skin, but by all means interpret that as an attack sir
KBT 2 years ago
No hers was an (accurate) comment about men not having a skin care routine.
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“Most of us don’t listen to the whole message, we are just waiting to make our own points. There is no magic bullet to getting better at listening besides practice,” said Abigail Paul, the artistic director at the Theatre Language Studio (TLS) in Frankfurt. “The goal is that we let go of our own ego and our own ideas because a huge part of listening is that you really have to be willing to be changed by what’s being said.”
Negative comments usually come from a place of insecurity, and though it may be tempting to respond in kind, there’s also the technique of killing them with kindness and positivity. Belina Raffy, a business improvisation consultant, recommends trying to reveal the “ridiculousness of the situation” without making the antagonist the bad guy. Rather turn them into the “victim” of the absurd circumstances, she says.
#10
Stephen Smith 2 years ago
Car battery won't do much......but a car battery and electric fence kit :)))
Trillian 2 years ago (edited)
They either used insanely long screws or have insanely thin floors/ceilings. Also, don't they use anchors for the screws?
#11
Natalia Linnik 2 years ago
I take it the first comment is from a man and she replies “so would you!” Pretty powerful comeback.
DC 2 years ago
... isn't the entire point of those religious wearable cages of various strengths of incarceration that they HIDE any beauty that might be seen without wearing them, so that men even in total lack of any self restraint abilities and desperately horny, therefore easily bonered, don't get said boner? So that they can remain unselfrestainable and horny, but maybe do a little less of sexualized crime?
Bear Family 2 years ago
The boner is HIS problem. Not her's. Dude needs a hobby... How do guys in other countries deal with the frequent presence of women? We're adults!!!
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Ralph Watkins 2 years ago
The dude sounds like one of those pushy religious types with a hijab fetish.
#12
GingerPanda 2 years ago
Wuhan, China is where COVID-19 presumably originated and first gained international attention.
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Ralph Watkins 2 years ago
I know someone from Wuhan. We were in a grocery store at the start of the pandemic. Everybody around us looked so terrified. Of course I had to ask loudly how their family was back in Wuhan. Seeing so many ignorant people around us getting that panicked look in their eyes was priceless. This family here has not been back home in years but there were many who believed the virus could be spread thru genetics or association. Duh, infectious diseases don't work that way folks.
But for those that want some inspiration, Parade has compiled a list of win-guaranteeing comebacks that one should keep in the back of their mind to always have a good burn at the ready. Here are some of my personal favorites: You’re the reason God created the middle finger. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?
Let’s continue, this is fun! I will ignore you so hard, you will start doubting your existence. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. You’re not stupid, you just have bad luck when you’re thinking. What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me. Your butt must be pretty jealous of all the crap that comes out of your mouth.
#13
Mickie Shea 2 years ago
the less you know about where you are the better off you'll be, Cheers and bottoms up.
Ghaniyah Verma 2 years ago (edited)
I thought it meant, "Humans are stupid for not liking books." And besides, it's not like liquor has sex scenes.
#14
waddles 2 years ago
side note: my pigness may have influenced this comment
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Thorsten Massow 2 years ago
“The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.” ― George Orwell, Animal Farm
Henry Russell 2 years ago
i love that book i read for a report and i loved it. its a very weird book and the ending is magical
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Ches Yamada 2 years ago
Don't be dropping my husband, he's breakable! Oh wait.
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#15
Jordi Sharpe 2 years ago
F*****g A. I've been a Harry/Ginny shipper from the word go. And Ron and Hermione were made for each other.
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Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
Truth. Every single book, TV show, and movie, it seems the two leads are required to get together. Time to shake things up.
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Well-Dressed Wolf 2 years ago
To be fair, the characters don’t always behave the way we want them to, when we write their stories XD
Poeha 2 years ago (edited)
A writer of children books said that. She came in our class in primary school and she said she had to cry when something happened in the book, while writing it. She didn't control what happened. The characters lived their own life.
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Ace Girl 2 years ago
Hermione should have ended up alone and i mean alone in the sense of her being a badass and freaking happy travelling the world doing witchy things.
Potterhead 0-0 2 years ago
No one said you have to be single to badass, happy, or travel the world
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CHRIS DOMRES 2 years ago
Harry was an idiot. Most of his spells were accidentally successful as I recall.
Aboredpanda 2 years ago
She wanted to write Harry and Hermoine ending up together, but didn't want to disappoint fans so in the end continued the Ron/Hermoine story
Lil Potato 2 years ago (edited)
Nooo Harry and Ginny forever!!! Ron and Hermione are perfect together
Potterhead 0-0 2 years ago
I’m mean yea but like.. who said Harry wants to be with Ron?
Load More Replies...Hope this made you smile, laugh, or take out your notebook and write some bits up for inspiration and future use! Don’t forget to keep upvoting your favorites as you scroll through, and leave your thoughts in the comments below. Do you have any good comebacks?
Let us know! For now, I bid you adieu!
#17
foryouwhynot IB 2 years ago
Wouldn’t be a ‘these’ though, as it isn’t a pair of glasses, it’s just a glass :|
#18
Fuzzies 2 years ago
It must have been so hard to deal with the pain of giving birth! Poor guy! /s
3 Owls In A Coat 2 years ago
He still managed to go to the gym every day! What a hero 👏
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GingerPanda 2 years ago
It's amazing! The baby that can't lift her own head, so he actually lifting for two now! His partner must be so proud of him! ❤️
Sapna Sarfare 2 years ago
And its Ranbir Kapoor... damn, even his name is spelt wrong in the hashtag. And this is from the twitter handle of a leading newspaper in India
Lara Hendrickson-Guido 8 months ago
He should have been home, so his wife could rest. Women should rest after giving birth.
#19
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
In America a Benz is cheaper than healthcare, plus you can drive over the border into Canada or Mexico with it for cheaper healthcare
Froynlaven 2 years ago
The precedent is set. Every time she feels bad you better pony up $100,000
#20
Michal Dolyniuk 2 years ago
You drink in evening in pub and u wake up next morning in your bed. So alkohol is some kind of transport
Lawrencium 2 years ago
While I don't personally drink, I do find it amusing the first record we have of humans using math and writing was to keep track of beer inventory. What has alcohol gotten us? Written communication and math.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
I beg to differ. I have been to a few inadvertent places thanks/because of alcohol.
#21
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
I got Ad Block for free, and it blocks all ads on YouTube unless they are physically added to the video
#22
Donna Peluda 2 years ago (edited)
What they're trying to say is that we preserve a painting but not the environment. Damaging a painting is a crime but destroying the environment isn't.
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Ione Decep 2 years ago
There's been close to a dozen attacks on art by anti-oil activists. (And one during an opera, but apparently the activists didn't realize that the pole they glued themselves to was removable, so they were easily escorted out, lol). They do this for the sole purpose of getting attention and getting people talking about their cause. It's a stupidly smart method, because while their tactics make absolutely no sense, they're still working.
Christof Irran 2 years ago
Mona Lisa (the actual painting) was at one time employed as a table cover at a fish monger's. This ole lady is tough; ain't easily impressed by cake.
3 Owls In A Coat 2 years ago
Hey I have a Mona Lisa tablecloth that I’m just bringing out for Christmas 😅 slap me a**e and call me a fishmonger I guess
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Duane Johnston 2 years ago
It's a shame they aren't smart enough to know there is more than one type of oil on this planet.
Ange Marsden 2 years ago
Read up on artwashing. And Mona Lisa is behind glass - 0 damage caused
KyaKouture 2 years ago
Sigh...(Please don't be from my generation..please...we get yelled at enough..please..)
#23
Bob La Capra 2 years ago
Another version of this old joke is: "I swear to God I'm and atheist"
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
Here's a thought: What if you die and go to heaven and find it full of atheists. God then says, "I gave man free will to think as he wants and believe what he wants, and I will not interfere. Every religion says I told them what to do and what to say, which would negate free will. So the correct religion is no religion at all"
Hugo Santos 2 years ago
Free will is about having the power to decide for yourself, not about being told what to do or not. In other words, free to disobey. The consequences of said decisions have nothing to do with free will...
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Bobby 2 years ago
My mom hates when I say oh my god. She says it's disrespectful. I remind her I don't worship the same God as her and mine doesn't have any rules against it. I do avoid it in her home though
Lene 2 years ago
I use "oh my gay gods!".... I'm a Norse Heathen and several of my gods are... not straight. Lol. Feel free to shock your mom with "oh my gay gods" if you like. I assure you my gods will find it funny 😁
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#24
Marissa Taylor 2 years ago
It wither dies of embarrassment or drowns waddles
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Nico Roby (She / They) 2 years ago
It's because thing that have air pockets float and things that don't sink. Whet you remove the peel, there is room for the water to move through the gaps in the orange, therefore it sinks.
Mickie Shea 2 years ago
Only swim in polluted water so no one can see if your clothed or not. Try not to swallow.
Burnt Bagel 2 years ago
And this, my friends, is precisely how we should understand the universe….
#25
keighterz 2 years ago
“We just don’t want any drama” *does Oprah interview, writes tell-all book, signs deal with Netflix* “really, please just leave us alone”
#26
Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago
Former nurse. I’ve encountered this many times over my 38 year career. I can verify this actually happens.
Lawrencium 2 years ago
Just try to avoid other exotic forms of matter coming out of your rear end...
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
Is that all, mine produces liquid, gas, solids AND plasma at the same time! The doctor is still trying to work that out and can't seem to get his hands clean, but his eyebrows have grown back
#27
Bob La Capra 2 years ago (edited)
Sometimes it's just too difficult to choose which comment to use
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foryouwhynot IB 2 years ago
If he took the kids into the shop, maybe they were trying to tell them something?
Justaboredpotato 2 years ago (edited)
Maybe eat the food instead of doing the thing that requires those? Seems more fun to me (coming from an aroace person)
Jon Steensen 2 years ago
That is a really pasive agressive way to say, your kids are horible, and does not deserve any reverds like icecream.
Mayrene Chester 2 years ago
There would be more children wanting ice cream and chips next year.
#28
Androgyny Lunacy 2 years ago
Haha go Murk. Fck Walmart and their undeserved and inhumane amount of wealth. Don't steal from small businesses, though. :}
Lara Hendrickson-Guido 8 months ago
Yeah, I agree, walmart is horrible, they barely pay their employees, force their employees to work on Thanksgiving, act as a monopoly, cause mom and pop stores to shut down, and leave a trail of impoverished towns in their wake.
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Michael Largey 2 years ago (edited)
The publisher of the New York Daily News once asked the head of Macy's Department store why it didn't advertise in the News. "Don't you want to attract our readers?", he asked. The Macy president replied "Your readers are our shoplifters."
Lara Hendrickson-Guido 8 months ago
Maybe he used to work there, and he’s making up for what he should have been paid if walmart payed a living wage, or maybe he used to work there, but walmart shut down the store, and left his town, after devastating the economy there.💀
#29
Fuzzies 2 years ago
Pov: No one actually said this she just got a haircut and made up a story for clout
CallaghanLive 2 years ago
his username is Phukkya Fielings, I love this more than my own username
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Id row 2 years ago
She actually gave him the upper hand by cutting the long hair she liked. She let him influence her to make a choice she wouldn't have made without his input. You don't have to cut your hair off that you liked because a man said he liked it. wtf is the logic with what she did?
simply.Taz 2 years ago
Wow, you're easily influenced by someone you shouldn't give a shît by what they say! How sad!
Coolwhip 2 years ago
I agree, random creeps that I may never see again peer pressure me into doing drastic things every day.
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
How drastic is a haircut? I mean, the stuff grows back.
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Coolwhip 2 years ago
Plot twist: Creep has a secret job making wigs for people and this is how he gets the hair.
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Aussie Bloke 2 years ago
Even if this were true, paying a compliment like this isn't being creepy.
#30
ace lesbian demigirl(she/they) 2 years ago
theres aaaaa hundred and four days of summer vacation
Marek Čtrnáct 2 years ago
Phineas is the type of a guy who can come up with Pythagoras's Theorem on his own.
Scp_049 2 years ago
Just so you know, his nose actually bends when he puts on his shirt. It was shown at the start of one of the Phineas and Ferb movies. (I just don't remember which one)
SCP 4666 2 years ago
Greetings 049. Found a cure for the pestilence yet? 😁
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Lil' Misty (MUICHIRO) 1 year ago
he has hair built like a palm tree and you're talking about NOSE HOLES.
#31
#32
BlackestDawn 2 years ago
They might try but there is (currently) no way to prove that they would grow at the same proportional rate, so no way to prove which one would actually be bigger at that point.
Stephen Solomon 2 years ago
Why did one have to be cut off? I wish we could all sue Israel for convincing American parents that male genital mutilation at birth is totally fine.
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Daniel Mattock 2 years ago
I would love to see this court case, with the judge, lawyers and jury trying to keep a straight face
#33
ginger a. freckleburger 2 years ago
I hope they're joking. If not, I'm sincerely worried about humanity.
Load More Replies... Jaya 2 years ago
No matter what your intelligence level is, it's great to have friends who have the same intelligence level as you. If you're both really smart, you can discuss very complex issues together. If you're both dumb, you can do really dumb stuff together and have a lot of fun without being judged.
Acid Panda 2 years ago (edited)
Could be a conversation between me and my bestie after munching on funny brownies
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
I once texted my dad, asking him to call my phone! I still have the screenshots to prove it…
#34
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 2 years ago
Tell me you've tweeted stoned af without actually telling me 😂😂😂
3 Owls In A Coat 2 years ago (edited)
True Stoner story: once in my early Stoner days I just could not wrap my head around how amazing hot dogs were and wrote a 3-page paper on alternate uses for tube-shaped meat loafs (imagine the deep fried donut potential) and a summary of different North American cultures’ hot dog toppings before I came to my senses. I saved the paper and it’s hilarious to read, I devoted 3 paragraphs to the benefits of eating a good hot dog with your eyes closed, why eating mindfully enhances the experience of the hot dog, why humans love fatty tastes, including tidbits like how to get the best texture from a microwave vs baked vs fried vs flame-grilled, plus the added benefits of Dijon mustard vs honey mustard, plus why mustard goes so well with meat (I went into the science of umami flavour etc). I sound like I’m trying to be funny but I’m really not kidding 😅 my autocorrect capitalizes the S in Stoner because it may or may not be my family name lmao
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Atero 2 years ago (edited)
How?!?!? Do they use different pizza boxes in UK? It's literally impossible to open the box upside-down without serious effort...
Wm Paul Robinson 2 years ago
Last week here in France someone ordered a McRien (McNothing), and got an empty box delivered.
#35
pink_panda 2 years ago
Is this really how he responded to a fan drawing him?? That's so harsh!
Shaquille.Oatmeal 2 years ago
Doge coin which is like crypto currency i think i really don’t know
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#36
Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
Well, that tweet didn't age well. Being critical of Musk will get you banned. And accused of being a pedophile.
Mental Liberals 2 years ago
Free? US? that's an oxymoron! It's a controlled surveillance country...run by the oligarchy!
#37
Foxinamug 2 years ago
I love the 'supposedly posh' as if pickpocketers don't pick the posher streets because the payoff versus the risk is better (plus I've known some better off people to be much looser/carefree with money/possessions as the loss won't ruin them)
mysterious(all pronouns) 1 year ago
I went to Europe, and got multiple warnings about pickpockets. I kept all my valuables (passport, debit card, ID) in a bag tucked under my shirt, and my other stuff (phone, mints, small cash, etc.) in a bag that I kept in front of me, making sure I kept my arm over it. Guess what? Nothing was stolen from me. It's not the location, it's what precautions you take.
KatSaidWhat 1 year ago
Oxford street is not posh. Perhaps she was thinking of regent street. Also one of the busiest shopping streets in London, you're surprised that there are pickpockets?
Ralph Watkins 2 years ago
Why pickpocket poor people? It's like shoplifting at the Dollar Tree.
#38
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago (edited)
I don’t think that’s very funny… Edit: oh, he meant on a date. 🤦
Artsy Bookworm 2 years ago
Oh you poor thing🤣🤣🤣🤣 That must have been a shock
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Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
I read this completely wrong and thought he meant if he could kill her...
#39
Sanna Söderström 2 years ago
I mean if men started to clean more at home maybe they wouldn’t be “survived” by their wife’s as much….. 😆
Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago
A comedian from many years ago named Alan King had an entire routine about this and used actual obituaries. With every obituary the age of the man who died got older and older. The punchline “Survived by his wife!” I think the final one was (name of husband) died at the age of 104. You guessed it. Survived by his wife! Probably why. Life insurance companies have figured this out.
Cyber Returns 2 years ago
Because the suicide rate of men is higher than women. 80% of the suicide rates globally are men
Apatheist Account2 2 years ago
Why are there only perfume ads for men and women? What does a "prefer not to say" want to smell like?
Allan Breum 2 years ago
To be fair, us men DO have a habit of doing life-endingly stupid stuff...
#40
ADDchallengedINFP-T 2 years ago
of Liras or livres in quite a few countries Italian Lira, for example
Cathy Carey 2 years ago
How are these great comebacks when so many of them make the replier sound stupid.
#41
Jill Bussey 2 years ago
Why is the ability to play chess assumed to be an indicator of intelligence?
Nicole Weymann 2 years ago
Cliché. It's at least as much memory/practice/training (however you want to call it), but sub-par intelligence would still be a hindrance.
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#42
#43
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#45
GingerPanda 2 years ago
You are technically correct. The best kind of correct!
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#47
#48
Shine Chisholm 2 years ago
You can file yourself without waiting on your spouse! Seriously the thing people regret most about divorce is not doing it sooner
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mummy pig 2 years ago
For anyone who's wondering, karvachoth is a fast taken by wife for her husbands longlife
#49
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
Ireland cricket team tweeted in November (5 months after pride month) yet they still have the pride flag on their pfp. Go Cricket Ireland!
#50
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I think that Kashmir wanted to be an independant state after it was decided that India and Pakistan should separate
#51
Solid Pileo 2 years ago (edited)
Chatai.... Lol.... Desi hinterland lingo for the win! Btw a chatai is a long floor mat used to sleep or sit on.
Superninjatiger 2 years ago
Why do you get sleep marks all over when you fall asleep during the day/naps but not when you sleep for the night?
#52
Judes 2 years ago
The response doesn't make sense. If someone wanted to be an astronaut, why would they have to wait until 1962 to ask? Just because NASA hadn't yet sent someone into space, that doesn't mean everyone was totally ignorant of the space program and NASA's intention of sending people into space. I bet NASA received many letters from would-be astronauts from 1958 onwards.
Jrog 2 years ago
The Mercury Seven were selected and made public in 1959. It was a very "viral" event, that motivated lots of young people to dream of being an astronaut. The original speech from Hillary originating this tweet claimed she was 13-14 at the time when she wrote, so the timeline checks out. In 1961 people at NASA started an unofficial exploratory program into women astronauts, that was later shut down by the organization. NASA at the time focused only on ex-military pilots, and women had no possibility of joining any branch of the military at the time. Only in late 1962 NASA formally changed this attitude, after the press advanced claims of sexual discrimination toward the organization, and started encouraging girls to pursue a career in the space business. Once again, timeline checks out. Unfortunately NASA did not keep a complete record of public relations letters at time, so no official confirmation has been given. That said, the Garuda guy is wrong and a bit too sure of himself here.
GingerPanda 2 years ago
When you're in your 70s, thinking back to when you were a "little girl" means any age between 0 and 25. This is just someone nitpicking.
#53
Kea_Tortilla 2 years ago
I can't believe England has the audacity to claim the Koh-I-Noor diamond wasn't stolen all these years later, when the East India Company took it from a literal ten-year-old. The whole history of the British Empire is despicable; I was appalled to find out that it was only dissolved 25 years ago. How dare Stewart claim that it is India and Pakistan that should be ashamed?!
Emma Kilcup 2 years ago
Don't know why you've gotten downvoted, here's my upvote. (If you were one of the people who downvoted Ploploplop, he/she/they were completing a quote, this wasn't meant to be offensive.)
Load More Replies... Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I commented something very rude which I shouldn’t have so I’m deleting my comment
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Donkey boi 2 years ago
So, long story short, that big fecking diamond on the front of the crown (one of the largest diamonds in the world), came from India and was "Passed" to the British by their puppet ruler.
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Artsy Bookworm 2 years ago
OMG, I can't believe Shailaja Teacher is on here! She's so damn cool. She was the health minister of my state and the way she handled corona and a Nipah virus epidemic before that. She's a legend here.
#56
Abby 2 years ago
I got something nice to say abt the uk. the beatles , donovan, the who, the rolling stones, the kinks. need i say more?
G'ma B 2 years ago (edited)
You forgot about … Mr. Bean, The British Baking Show w/Paul Hollywood, Doc Martin, and my 5th Great-grandfather: a pub & hotel owner. Plus all the rich and colorful British history, the author's, painters, poets, play-writes, and stage & movie actors who enriched our world and made it happier and better place to dream.
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Poeha 2 years ago
A guy on a forum wanted to give me 25.000 dollar. He was not a scammer, just a friendly guy. I had been venting that I had no cent just as a comment in some topic and I had helped him with some question he had. He really wanted to do that. Noooo! Don't just give money to everyone! I just spent too much this holiday and need to live cheap for a few months. Turned out he had given loads of money to girls with some sob story. They were just taking advantage of him.
Lord Rimuru 2 years ago
What if it was all stolen and he was covering up?
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Sapna Sarfare 2 years ago
Miss Sushma Swaraj. One of the finest politicians in India and one smart lady. One of the best foreign ministers India ever had. She was there for every one..
#59
#60
Idostuff Foraliving 2 years ago
bc it's indicating that it's not actually a female writing. its a MALE
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Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Haha. I'm here thinking this is some type of ice cream until I read the comments 🤣🤣🤣
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Atero 2 years ago
As being "fatty" myself - no it's not. It represents a brilliant advice wrapped with the hint of dark humor :)
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and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
I don’t really like some of these, they’re just straight up nasty.
#68
#70
Tinu 2 years ago
Uhmm not really the comeback he thinks this is, he ended up removing the feature anyways, it cost some billion dollar companies money.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
He’s now trying it a second time. Rich does not mean smart.
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Idostuff Foraliving 2 years ago
I did too! for a second i was really confused... wish it was cheetos; im hungry XD
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#72
Nurichwersonst 2 years ago
Whats about these indian posts? I don't understand them neither do I know these people like Mukesh Ambani... who is that? 😮💨
Toni Ahlgren 2 years ago
The richest person in India and the 8th richest in the world, but I don't get the joke either.
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Kitty White 2 years ago
The most shocking thing about this, to me, is finding out that silkworms are killed during the silk-harvesting process! I had no idea… it didn’t sound right to me, and I thought maybe the guy replying was using a bit of exaggeration or hyperbole to make his point. So I looked it up. After a certain number of days spent spinning their cocoons, they either boil or steam the cocoon, which of course kills the worm. Some companies are experimenting with more ethical harvesting methods, but so far the best they’ve been able to come up with results in an inferior product.
#75
Solid Pileo 2 years ago
Some of these posts will make no sense to a Western reader....they're too specific and directed toward an Indian audience....
Fat Harry 2 years ago
They're talking about a cricket match, but I have no idea which one nor what the relevance is, nor why the reply is considered a great comeback. I think you have to be Indian.
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#80
Solid Pileo 2 years ago
Hrithik Roshan has a supernumerary thumb on one of his hands.... He is polydactyl and syndactyl....
#81
Premislaus de Colo 2 years ago
Funny how BP authors think they can insert things hijacked from Indian site with no refference and think someone will go for this...
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What do you think ?
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
This list should be titled “82 comebacks done by Indians” or something like that
Lori Harper 2 years ago
I didn't understand a lot of these references, so I just gave up...
Load More Replies... Consequential_mishaps 2 years ago
Actually a lot of it isn't comebacks it's just simple creepy sexual innuendos.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
This list should be titled “82 comebacks done by Indians” or something like that
Lori Harper 2 years ago
I didn't understand a lot of these references, so I just gave up...
Load More Replies... Consequential_mishaps 2 years ago
Actually a lot of it isn't comebacks it's just simple creepy sexual innuendos.
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