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30 Brutal Moments When People’s Illusions Of Friendship Were Shattered
Interview
You’ve got a friend in me, you’ve got a friend in me! Until you stab me in the back, publicly humiliate me or betray me. Then, we’re done.
Below, you’ll find some heartbreaking stories that have recently been shared on Reddit detailing the worst things people’s former friends have done to them. We hope you can’t actually relate to any of these tales, pandas, but if you can, know that you’re not alone. Be sure to upvote the stories that you find most upsetting, and keep reading to find conversations with the Reddit user who posed this question and Lisa Seaton, the woman behind The Zing Collective.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
My life long friend of 30+ years, moved out of state and would call me drunk and go on and on usually on a ranting tangent about different things that she wouldn’t remember the next time we spoke. I was a patient listener. One night she called on the anniversary of my teenage son’s death so I told her I was having a really hard emotional day and would call her another time. She started scolding me for being a s****y friend because she needed to talk and I should be there for her. Then she said my dead son told her he was really disappointed in me for being so selfish and that he expected better of me. It felt like she twisted a knife in my already shattered heart. I yelled F**k You!, hung up, blocked her and went NC.
still tired 2 years ago
If you know that that's how you act when drunk, I feel like you probably shouldn't allow yourself to get drunk, or atleast not get drunk often.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
Wow. What a horrible person. I'm happy OP went NC with that friend. I hope that friend realizes what she had done and never to drunk-call anyone again.
The CareTaker 2 years ago
my best friend almost sister-like, had they/them lover and they acted my friend but hated me, when my mom died, I was talking to my bf sis {over text as she actually lived half way across the USA from me} and her partner start messaging me "I just heard.... HAHAHAHAH" and I'm like "what?" and they put "your mom died! HAHAHA" Im like WTH? text my BBF and tell her, she put "Well can't stop them, I don't want to tell them no" I'm like what? but they are making f**ing fun of my mom dieing, she hasn't even left! {this was while she was still lying 3 feet from me and I was waiting for them to pick her body up!} The partner messages again and says "She left you just like your real mom/ she died cause she wanted away from you" {my bio mom died when I was 7 protecting me from a bullet} "Then my BFF says "I don't want to hold on any more leashes" {she has always had people wanting her, stalking her and stuff, only I got rid of them cause she "couldn't hurt their feelings"} I told her ----------
The CareTaker 2 years ago
------ "Fine I'll just tell them exactly what's on my mind, how I feel and everything I've been wanting that you wouldn't let me," she told me "No you can't!" so I said "Then tell them to LEAVE ME ALONE TO BLOCK ME OR STOP" and my BBF says... "no I said I'm not holding leashes!"...I lost it, I told her "You are letting her tell me horrible things about my mom, the woman that loved you like her own, say stuff about me, and doing this before mom's Body is out of the house? How can you do this... You say "Im not holding leashes" but really all you are doing is Holding mine BECAUSE YOU KNOW I WOULD LISTEN TO YOU AND THEY WON'T...Now you have to deal with this, Because I won't be able to save or help you like I have before anymore Im Done, and Im gone" And i blocked her and her partner, and closed all the accounts I had opened on stuff for them {we worked in games and had a store and art place open} Everything was deleted/blocked, That was in 5/22/2023, the day my mom died, its 11/14/23 now
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To learn more about what's required to maintain a healthy friendship, we reached out to Lisa Seaton, the woman behind The Zing Collective, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. "The most important part of a healthy friendship is that both parties are equal contributors," Lisa says.
"The specifics will look different for each friendship, but it should be a two way street built on mutual ground. If one person in a friendship feels that they are putting in more effort than the other, or not getting as much out as they're putting in, then resentment and frustration can build," she explained.
"Another key factor in any relationship - friends, family, romantic, professional - is communication. As long as everyone involved is communicating their expectations and feelings effectively then you stand the best chance of nurturing a healthy relationship," Lisa added.
RELATED:
#2
Few people. They got on the Trump train. Politics was always something we stayed away from. We worked on cars, went fishing, hunting, camping, etc. Have plenty to talk about and do that doesn’t have to do with politics. Once they got roped into that garbage it became their whole personality. I have a hard time seeing Trump supporters as anything other than America hating pro-fascist bigots. Once they started calling anyone who wants anything less than killing gay people “groomers” I told them I was done. NGL, I’m lonely and sad about losing this group and there’s not a lot of redneck non-MAGA people who know what side of a wrench to hold. But, to me this isn’t a difference in politics but in morality and patriotism and it’s a bridge too far.
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
They're just harder to spot because they're not in a cult.
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Erik Rydbom 2 years ago
You aren't alone. I called out the MAGA violence on January 6th because I thought people would see that for what it was and be done with it... Nope. Instead they were cheering it on. My best friends mom even called me a libtard and told me to f**k off. Now I'm no longer invited to BBQs, camping and fishing trips, birthdays, holiday parties, etc. Donald Trump and the MAGA movement have ruined the lives of too many people in this country.
DrBronxx 2 years ago
It's all well and good trying to stay away from politics, and in a formal setting like your job, I think it's important to leave politics out. However, your politics contain a lot of your core beliefs, including your morality, so I don't think that it's something that should be left out of close relationships - friends, family, etc. I'm glad OP is free of those people, and I hope they eventually find some likeminded, or at least reasonable, people to socialise with.
FloralDangerNoodle 2 years ago
I've had to go NC with family members who've boarded this train. It sucks.
James King 1 year ago
"I have a hard time seeing Trump supporters as anything other than America hating pro-fascist bigots." That's because you're an easily manipulated dupe. Congratulations, you're just what the DNC is looking for in a voter.
Kaitlan Nichols 1 year ago
I'm skeptical that this stuff was actually said. "I have a hard time seeing anything other than America hating pro fascist bigots" That's a heck of a bias you got there. Maybe you were interpreting things a certain way, or you have motive to exaggerate to fit your pre conceived narrative? It's good to be self aware of your own perspective and I'm not so sure you are.
HighNMightyBigshot 2 years ago
A legal scholar and civil rights advocate named Derrick Bell came up with this term “interest convergence.” He believed that the only times we ever see an expansion of rights for Black Americans is when white Americans benefit, when interests converge. If white Americans don’t see something in it for themselves, nothing changes. Trump didn’t happen in a vacuum it is the same sh*t that has been happen8 g for the last 450 years. Sociopaths in America didn’t have a problem with it since it was happening to Native and Black Americans,
Kate Mothers 2 years ago
By lumping all Trump supporters into the category of "America hating pro-facists bigots", you are the problem. People can have different views and opinions, even about politics, without resorting to what you did. You are the bigot.
CoCo Lee 2 years ago (edited)
Nope. First off, if you support Trump you are supporting someone who does not value human rights. Cutting people out of your life that don't support human rights is not bigotry. That's not how bigotry works.
Load More Replies... #3
She called me manipulative for rearranging our plans when I had just got out of hospital and needed to rest. Apparently my "flakyness" affected her anxiety disorder and made her feel unappreciated. I told her that it wasn't like I'd had an asthma attack on purpose. She called manipulative, I called her selfish, I haven't talked to her since.
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
Yes it is a nice friend/partner that is there to comfort and support you when you have your moments, but they shouldn’t be the sole person to handle your “ issue “
Astrophile 2 years ago (edited)
My best friend (and roommate at the time) came home drunk and tried to open the front door, but she couldn’t get her key in the lock. I heard her struggling, but by the time I made it to the door to open it, she had stomped away. She called me a few mins later and accused me of holding the door closed on her (??) and that kind of opened a floodgate of things she resented about me that I had no idea about. She said things she can’t take back and so did I. And that’s how I lost my best friend, she moved out a couple days later while I was at work and we haven’t spoken in years. It was weird, 15 years of friendship and we’d never even had a single argument before this. Very jarring.
As far as how to know when a friendship needs to end, Lisa says it's much easier to tell when something dramatic happens, such as a betrayal or an explosive argument. "But there are often subtle signs that a friendship has run its course before it gets to that point, and these are trickier to spot," she noted.
"You can learn to pick up on these subtle signs by being conscious of how a friendship makes you feel," the expert says. "Start off by taking the time to note how you feel before or after seeing a friend." Lisa recommends that we ask ourselves questions such as: "How do you feel before meeting up? Are you excited to spend time with them, or does it feel like a chore or obligation? How do you feel in their company? Relaxed/comfortable/on edge/defensive? How do you feel when you leave the interaction? Happy/uplifted/relieved/drained/annoyed?"
#4
"I understand why your ex beat you."
Bogdan Chelariu 2 years ago
"Well, I don't understand why none of your exes beat you!"... Mic drop and walk away!
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 2 years ago
I know understand why people beat people * proceeds to beat c**p out of " friend" *
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I understand why your ex beat you. Because he was a terrible person."
TheDarkestRaven 2 years ago
Not gonna lie, my responce would be, “oh, you think that’s funny? How bout if he beat you??”
Tameeza Joyce Lightowler 2 years ago
You know where you can go with THAT comment... And where to shove it.
#5
Like most long-term friends, we knew a lot of each other’s secrets. Misdeeds, misadventures and so forth. Nothing too criminal but also some youthful indiscretions that should stay in the “We Don’t Talk About This With Others” box.
The friendship was waning. About a year prior I had really started questioning what I was getting out of it and if I shouldn’t just slowly break contact. Then I started dating my girlfriend. Naturally he took that as me dropping him like a hot potato, which wasn’t true but from his perspective, I get the suspicion.
After a few half-hearted attempts at getting together, we did and apparently he did not like the way it turned out. He sent me an e-mail threatening to tell my girlfriend all of the s**t we’d got into over the years, going so far as to list out dates, times and circumstances. I responded that he could if he wanted to, and that would likely be the end of the relationship with my girlfriend, but the threat of doing so definitely meant an end to our friendship. I also forwarded the e-mail to a couple of friends who were already in the know. They also ended up cooling things off with him.
In the end, nothing came of it. But when you start threatening your friends of 20+ years with misdemeanours committed when you were young, then I can never trust you again.
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 2 years ago
Reminds me of when my grandma had a fallout with an old friend and the friend was terrified of grandma because gran knew stuff that would have socially ruined this woman. Years later she apologized and thanked gran for keeping her secrets despite her being a b***h.
deanna woods 2 years ago
You don't ever blackmail friends or family. Especially over something as small as them having a significant other.
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
I was a wild child and my misdeeds never come back to haunt me because I freely share them with friends and family. An old friend once told my grandson that his grampa has a lot of secrets to which he replied, "Oh you mean when he blew up that old car with dynamite?"
FloralDangerNoodle 2 years ago
My own sister did this to me, among other things! She's dead to me now.
Isa's left eye 2 years ago (edited)
Ofc that is terrible on the "friend"'s part but also don't keep things from your SO. If OP's gf can't understand that people change then she isn't worth wasting time on, but he shouldn't keep this from her. Edit: clarity
SuperChicken 2 years ago
Talk about jealousy, insecurity - and simply, insane in the membrane.
#6
After explaining and trying to process how many people had died on the hospital unit where I work from covid, b***h really says "I don't think it's real". Like, do you need to have nightmares about them gasping for air every night too?
Glen Ellyn 2 years ago
I'm still in disbelief that there are still so many people who think Covid was/is a hoax. Makes me wonder if they can manage to tie their shoes.
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
We had a client where I worked that would complain about wearing masks, COVID was a government conspiracy, bítched about his rights being taken away, yada yada yada. I bet you can guess what he died of.
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Libstak 2 years ago
First hand account being presented by a medic but "I don't think it's real" is the response? This world is so sick.
Realistic Optimist 2 years ago
Facts about health, mental or physical, should not be political issues. Causes these kind of bs situations that make horrible personal experiences seem like political discussions to some people. Sorry OP had that experience. Lack of empathy about traumatic situations can be so hurtful.
deanna woods 2 years ago
Anyone that still doubts the validity of Covid must have never had a sick loved one. It is very very real.
Hobby Hopper 2 years ago
Amazing people's capacity to deny unpleasant truths and pretend the world is all hunky-dory. This is how you get victim blaming. The truth is too ugly to accept.
Jane Hower 2 years ago
Every year people die of whatever flu is going around, but the Covid stats were LARGEL inflated so hospitals didn't lose too much money. Check the current info on this.
"Once you start to pay attention to these feelings, it will become clearer which friendships are healthy and which aren't," Lisa told Bored Panda. "That's not to say that if you feel some negative feelings that you need to immediately cut someone out, but it is an indicator that some changes are required in the friendship in order for it to last long term."
#7
I came home and my neighbor (who I befriended three months prior) started blowing up my phone saying she had an emergency. I responded and told her that it was late, I was tired and had just got back from work, and my boyfriend had a 101 fever so I just was not feeling it. She then proceeded to bang on my windows and door at 12:30 in the morning and texted my boyfriend and my roommate at the time to try and get ahold of me. Turns out the “emergency” was one of her friends (haven’t even met this person) has gotten cheated on. Blocked her and never spoke to her again.
SkyBlueandBlack 2 years ago
I have a feeling she actually needs to take LESS of something.
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Vasana Phong 2 years ago (edited)
Honestly, I’ve learned the hard way multiple times of befriending neighbors, that now it’s just a casual hello/hi/bye now at this point, it eliminates can i borrow some money, can you give me a ride, do you smoke if so do you have a cigarette..ect
Awkward lady 2 years ago
A lot of these are entitled, toxic people who are all me, me, me! They are not your friends, they are using you as a backdrop to their own dramas. I know, I have been there, it's not nice, but you have to move on.
#8
They turned into a flat earther, anti vax, freedom fighter. It's just too much stupid to put up with.
Hphizzle 2 years ago
I feel like the pandemic era did this to a lot of friendships/relationships. I know I lost a few friends because of the American politics during that time. And I don’t even live there anymore.
MotherofGuineaPigs 2 years ago
Sometimes I wonder is there wasn't a really mild form of covid that didn't have any symptoms other than brain damage.
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Lisa has discussed how to end toxic friendships on her site before, and she shared that her recommendation is to have a conversation with the person and let them know how you're feeling. "Even if there is no saving the friendship, it can help make it a cleaner break, and nobody is left with any confusion about what went wrong," she explained. "Also be open to the fact that they may have grievances too. It's unlikely that the issues only run one way! Unfortunately, we've all been someone's toxic friend along the way."
#9
She and her husband were living in my finished basement. I charged very little and they were struggling financially. They asked me if they could skip a few months rent to save for a security deposit for an apartment and I agreed.
I went on vacation and a neighbor texted me complimenting my boat. I didn’t have a boat. Turns out my friend and her husband had financed a ski boat and were hiding it from me. I was gone so they brought it home to clean it and got caught. I called them out on it and gave them 30 days notice. They and their possessions were gone before I got back from vacation. We were friends for over a decade before this.
ॐBoyGanesh 2 years ago
When you combine greed with entitlement & desperation, you’ve created a napalm s**t show that’ll scorch anything & everyone in its path.
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
Talk about taking an advantage on someone, I’ve always had this mentality that if you live with someone because they are helping you out you do everything in your power to make it easier on both sides, like I can’t help out financially, but the house and chores will be my responsibility, because I’m grateful
Red Reilly 2 years ago
So not me, but happened to friends. Couple were renting a room, a tiny room, but a room to their friend. Friend swears he can't afford the rent so they let him pay less. well, what was actually happening was he COULD afford the rent, and was putting all his money aside for a deposit on a flat. Couple were furious that he lied to them.
Mabelbabel 2 years ago
I had an old room mate from college asking me if they could rent a room in my house for a while-she'd moved away after graduation and bought an apartment. Couple years later, she moved back to our home town with work. She said she hadn't managed to sell the apartment so was still paying her mortgage, and couldn't rent it out as tenants would make it harder to sell. So I let her stay rent-free. After a couple months, she said she couldn't afford to contribute towards the utility bills. Then she started eating my food, promising to replace it but she never did. About 6 months later, my boyfriend moved in. She told me he had to leave because it was unsafe as she didn't know him. I said no, it was my house, and in the end she left-I came home and she'd emptied her room. I found out later she'd lied about her apartment-she'd sold it before she even moved back, so had been living rent and bill free at my expense for almost a year.
Trillian 2 years ago
What is a ski boat? And they must have really wanted one if they were willing to live in a basement to get it.
Do-nut touch da donut 2 years ago
Jet skii? I think... or maybe that boat with the platez on the bottom that basically floats above the water like it was on skiis? Either way both are very expensive and not tiny
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Anna Harding 2 years ago
Had a friend who did this to me. I didn’t charge her anything while she and her boyfriend were saving up for security deposit. She blew it on a leather jacket, they went off skiing and fancy dinners. Jerk boyfriend stole money from my wallet too.
#10
Invited me to Thanksgiving in San Antonio. I followed her from Waco to San Antonio. Lost her on the freeway when she made a last second exit. She refused to give me an address. I drove home and the restaurants were closed, so I had Top Ramen for Thanksgiving dinner that year.
Loverboy 2 years ago
:( what a s****y friend. No one should have to eat ramen for Thanksgiving
Xitxarel•lo Panda 2 years ago
Ad a Padtafarian I have to disagree with you ;)
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Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
What the F**K!! "Oops I forgot to tell my family I invited someone and by the time she Finally told them, they said absolutely not so she ghosted"? Wtf else reasoning for it unless she hates you! What a psycho
Stephanie Barr 2 years ago
Navigating in San Antonio (for me) is a nightmare but more insane to not give you an address
"Society in general talks quite openly about the work required to keep a romantic relationship healthy, but we don't hear nearly enough about maintaining healthy friendships," Lisa added. "Friendships require the same amount of love, care, and attention as our romantic partnerships, and they should be nurtured in the same way. Do a friendship audit and get clear on which friendships are most important to you – then make sure you're watering them frequently!"
If you'd like to hear more wise words from Lisa about friendship and living your best life, be sure to visit The Zing Collective!
#11
She accused the man I was with of sexually assaulting her. During my birthday party. Dozens of witnesses including myself. In reality she got wasted, threw herself at him, and had a crying fit when he didn't go for it. I spent the rest of my birthday party comforting her and telling her she's so pretty. Then she snuck out after to tell her VETERAN husband that he tried to r**e her. The fact that my ex is still alive is enough to show that the husband knew it was bs
Jack Smith 2 years ago
god i hate women like this. crying wolf. its so damaging to women who do try to speak up and people then don't believe them because they think they're lying. just an all around sh*tty thing to do.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
Shed a few tears, act traumatized, and lie like a cheap rug. Some poor soul has his life ruined beyond repair, while she is soaking up all the media attention. That is, until new evidence proves that she was lying through her teeth. Elton John was right: Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word.
Load More Replies... deanna woods 2 years ago
Women that claim to be SA'd make it really difficult for those women who were actually SA'd.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
I just found out a few months ago that my sister told a lie like this in 2010 about my husband. My whole family started hating both of us and ganged up like a mob and chased us from my grandmother's party and I never knew why. I am shocked and so hurt. She has a history of being insanely jealous. She trashed the house when she found out I was moving back in. She is the most toxic person I have ever known and now she tries saying she is autistic. She has constantly slept with every one of my exes and trash talks me to all of my old friends. Obsesses. I won't tell my husband. He has been traumatized enough by my family this might put him over the edge. He thought he finally had a family after such an abusive life and 15 years later, still is constantly wondering what we possibly did to make them hate us.
deanna woods 2 years ago
I am so sorry that this happened to you and your husband.
Load More Replies... Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 2 years ago
Therapy. Kudos to these men they sound like good partners.
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
You spent some of your birthday party comforting a woman who tried to seduce your husband???
Andrei Iepure 2 years ago
I like the "manly man" veteran stereotype. Something to work on I guess
#12
Stole my drivers license because she wanted to use it at bars (shes under 21), refused to give it back, told me she got it taken away at the bar she goes to. I called the bar and they told me they didn’t take IDs, told her i knew she was lying. She told me to “disrespectfully f**k off”. I told her to leave it under my doormat and if it’s not there the next morning I’m going to the DMV and getting it replaced and reporting it as stolen under her name. She never gave it back, next morning i went to the DMV and got a new ID and reported it as stolen under her name. Really s****y situation.
To learn more about how this conversation started in the first place, we reached out to Reddit user DarksideOutlaw, who posed the question, "What was the worst thing a friend did to you that just made you say f*ck it and cut off all contact?" Lucky for us, the OP was kind enough to have a chat and open up about some of his own friendships that he had to make the choice to end.
"My best friend of 10 years had backstabbed me and chosen making money over our friendship," the OP shared. "I was hurt by this for years, wondering why he had chosen that route. I made the post wondering if anyone else had been betrayed or used, and the response was overwhelming to say the least."
#13
He tried to recruit me to Scientology. He even succeeded briefly, but it didn't take me long to see the truth about them.
One of Scientology's teachings is that you should cut off all contact with what they call Suppressive Persons. I originally thought they meant people who are harmful to your emotional well-being, but I quickly came to realize they apply the term to anyone who speaks ill of Scientology. Discouraging people from giving truckloads of money to that ridiculous cult is a high crime in their world.
I rejected that teaching and stuck to my original definition of suppressive person: someone who's harmful to my emotional well-being. I then cut off every single person I met in that "Church", including my former friend, for being what I consider suppressive people. Who not to associate with might be the only useful thing I learned from them.
Realistic Optimist 2 years ago
As someone who used to be Christian, a lot of the reasons people hate scientology, apply to Christianity as well. All religions start as a cult. Not to say Scientology = Christianity, but both protestant and catholic churches can be incredibly isolative communities and really, really don't like other views hanging around too long. In my experience, non-christians are rejected as 'bad' or not as valuable as them, unless there is possibility of conversion, which isn't too far off from the above.
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Glen Ellyn 2 years ago (edited)
Well, well. I guess they'd call me a "suppressive person." Cheers! 🥂
The Doom Song 2 years ago
I had a friend in school whose family got into Scientology. I have a nasty suspicion that my friend was being sexually abused by her "mentor" We would go around her house and not be allowed in coz her and her "mentor" were studying in her bedroom. We were 13. Something never sat right with me about that.
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
Long before he instigated the murders in LA, while in prison Charles Manson asked to be put into solitary confinement to get away from his cellmate who had put him through over 150 sessions of Scientology 'clearing.' When your "religion" is too whack for Charlie Manson it's really time to take a long hard look at your beliefs.
Lee Gilliland 2 years ago
Are you aware Scientology was started as a beer bet at a science fiction convention? Heard the story more than once, not only from my grandfather ( who wrote SF and had been there ) but from four or five of the other participants as well
#14
I’ve had a few, and when it’s more than one, it means the problem is me. I trust too easily and when I love someone, I’m loyal and give. I think that makes it easy to take advantage of me. I’ve had friends that I thought were it, mind you, my husband told me he had bad feelings about them. He was right. They’d use me to do their chores, babysit, dog sit, things like that, and when I had a need ghosted me. It took me a really long time to understand that not all people are like me, and I needed to be more cautious. Now, that being said, my one really true, loving, friend is dying. We are 44, and her and her husband have been couple best friends with us for 20+ years. We raised our children together. We vacationed together. We absolutely love this woman. She’s always been there for all of us. A year ago she had a bad car accident, we now know because of the terminal brain disorder, and it has just deteriorated. We live in different towns, but my husband and I travel frequently to her, because our time is now short, and we need to support her husband and her kids. We are also both nurses, so we can help in that way too and give her family respite. We also don’t want to miss any moment we have left. So, we will be by their side until the end and beyond, and it really puts into perspective that these other “friends” were nothing. I don’t know why I wasted my time. I know in my soul, if it were reversed, she would care for me, we loved each other without demanding. She is my family. I miss her while she’s still here. Anyway, just love your people and appreciate them, life is short. And be a true friend, because as people, we need each other.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
"I don’t know why I wasted my time." It's not a waste of time. Think of it as, character builder; as a way of learning and maneuvering through life to become a better person. I'm so terribly sorry for your friend. May your time with her be even more valuable with lasting and happy memories.
DarksideOutlaw went on to open up about their former best friend. "We were supposed to open up a bong shop together, but he got greedy and cut me out. He managed everything, but thanks to me, word of mouth, and hard work advertising our shop, we were thriving," he shared. "But he told everyone I had borrowed money from him and wouldn't pay him back. Literally turned all my friends against me and ruined my reputation."
The OP noted that his former best friend also claimed that he owed him 20k, so he cut all contact with his former friends and just focuses on spending time with his family now. "He tried reaching out to me through my old friends and social media to say he was sorry for everything he had done and wanted to make amends and hang out again, but the damage had been done," DarksideOutlaw added. "He crossed the line, and I was never going to forgive him for ruining my life. I never replied to his messages and ignore him to this day."
#15
I've always been forgetful. I'd lose things and they'd just be gone. Searching the apartment for an hour and they don't turn up. I'd check my car. I'd check at work. No f*****g clue. Happened pretty often. I'd warn people not to trust me with anything of value since I had a s**t habit of losing stuff.
Welp. Turns out Brian had been stealing from me for decades.
GlamourGhoul 2 years ago (edited)
I had a "friend" named Brian who also stole from me, and would steal pain meds from his stepfather who was dying of cancer. He ruined every real friendship he has by stealing and lying his a**e off
Xenon 2 years ago
Stealing pain meds from people who need them are among the lowest of the low to me. Even worse if it's a relative or they're elderly, or both. Would be insulting pond scum to call them that. I hope he dies a painful death because a trusted family member stole his.
Load More Replies... #16
my friend cheated with my fiancé...
TheDarkestRaven 2 years ago
Dang, poor OP… Nobody should have to go through this. For anyone who is/has, you got this, ok? You will find someone who loves you. And if you don’t want to, that’s ok too. Just remember you’re awsome, and amazing, and nobody should ever tell you otherwise.
Andy Cran 2 years ago
it also reads as fiancé cheated with so called friend...says so much about both
Christopher Walkies 2 years ago
Indeed. And while I don't have the full details, it seems only the fiancé 'cheated'.
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SuperChicken 2 years ago
For someone who's been cheated, I know how much this hurts. I'm so terribly that sorry you had to go through this. I know it's painful and not too easy to deal with either. I hope you're doing better and are enjoying life, with or without a partner.
The OP also opened up about another former friend he had a falling out with. "I loved her as more than a friend, but she didn't have the same feelings of love for me," he noted. "She saw me as a younger brother to look out for, so I accepted that and told her I needed time to myself. We didn't talk until I reached out 2 years later."
"I helped out by becoming her roommate when both our leases had ended, as my sister had moved out and I was searching for months for a new roommate," he went on to explain. "We had been best friends for a few years, and we told each other everything, including our darkest secrets and our dreams."
#17
Visited me at college, Told me he was going to sleep at his ex gf's place. Actually stole a credit card from my wallet, booked a night at the marriott and proceeded to pretend like he didn't. That is until my dad called and asked about the charge because he took the emergency card my parents gave me. My dad made him drop the cash off at his mailbox and i've been ignoring him ever since.
Red Reilly 2 years ago
So this didn't stop our friendship, more on me not thinking. After a night out for my birthday, showed my friend who, I KNEW was a Kleptomaniac, a cheque I got for my birthday which was for a nice bit of money. The next day after she left the cheque had vanished, my other friend who stayed over looked through my room. Nothing. It's not like she could bank the cheque. Just cancelled the cheque and got another from a not very impressed grandad. She's sorted herself out now so it is all fine, we just don't bring it up.
Xenon 2 years ago
I'm sorry, I could not just overlook that and keep being friends. Well actually, the first time she exhibited kleptomaniac tendencies would be the end. Thieves make me unreasonably furious, I see red. I don't care what you stole.
Load More Replies... #18
Told me I had to choose between him or my wife, while we were riding in my wife dads pick up on a 1200 mile road trip. He was dead serious and got violent about it. I had to get the police to intervene. The wife and I still have no clue what went through his head or why he flipped the heck out.
The last thing I did for him was buy him a bus ticket home, and give him money for food.
Never saw him again.
ॐBoyGanesh 2 years ago
This sounds like he was harboring a humongous secret that not only filled him with self-loathing & shame, but insanely jealous unrequited love, which caused him to spiral to the point of snapping. To be very literal with trading his wife for this other man, it seems that to be an equitable trade the guy would need to supply all that he was trading away, including the intimacy and sexual activity.
Xitxarel•lo Panda 2 years ago
Someone was secretly in love. Someone who rejects his sexuality....... .
DarksideOutlaw noted that other friends had warned him that this woman had "changed into a horrible person after she had been in an abusive relationship with her ex," but he didn't want to believe it. She told the OP that she was in debt and struggling to secure the money for bond, so he helped her out and said she could slowly pay him back when she could.
"Everything was fine at first when we both moved in, but the situation changed fast after a week," he shared. "I found out she was self medicating with weed, Xanax and alcohol for her depression and anxiety. I had to take on 2 jobs to cover the rent after I poured my savings into the bond. She would randomly get angry at the smallest of problems and then apologize profusely."
#19
Borrowed money from me and became evasive when I started asking when he'd pay it back. This went on for several months before I finally ran into him on our college campus and confronted him about it. He paid me within a week after that, but there was no salvaging the friendship after that.
Amelia Jade 2 years ago
My rule of thumb is to never lend money that I need back. If I need it back, I say no. If I can spare it, I lend it with no expectation of seeing it again. If they happen to pay it back, great. But I'm not hounding people for money.
kathryn stretton 2 years ago
Same here, but I wouldn't lend money to them again.
Load More Replies... Red Reilly 2 years ago (edited)
I had a 'friend' grill me after I drunkenly said I would pay for his flight to go on holiday with him, he held me to it and I was like, well I did say it. Tickets were a lot more then I expected and mentioned it. He replied 'it is really crass to talk about money'. My birthday came around and he had boasted he would do something similar for me. Nothing. Kept telling me he was so broke, a mutual friends birthday was coming up and again we were going to go away, all of a sudden 'friend' has money and can get a hotel and flights, I mentioned why doesn't he get me my flight ticket as a belated birthday as he kept saying he would get me a present and this flight was considerably cheaper. He flips out and starts shouting at me for 'attacking' him. Revaluated the friendship and realised he was a really rubbish friend. Just walked away. Much better life now.
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
I’ll only lend money to people that helped me, or know most def they’ll pay me back on said day, I’m not well off at all, just also knowing that person is worse off you don’t think about yourself at the moment because you’ll always get by
SuperChicken 2 years ago (edited)
It's really sad how money can break or make a relationship. Once someone lends money to a friend, just consider it gone; best not to lend them. Lucky for Op, that person finally paid them. Sadly, as they mentioned, the friendship is gone.
Javelina Poppers 2 years ago
Unless you're talking about a major amount of money, it's worth taking the loss because that leech will stay as far from you as he can till the end of time.
Sven Horlemann 2 years ago
The only good, lasting advice my father gave me - never lend money. Family or friends, it will nearly always means trouble.
#20
Went on a tirade against immigrants and praised me for my ethnicity.
It was disgusting. It was the final nail in the coffin, it felt like the person I once knew died that day.
RIP amuck
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I take it she was a full-blood Cherokee, Navaho, Apache, or something like that, right?
The friendship took a turn for the worst when the OP and his roommate got into an argument one night while she was cooking at 3am. "She panicked when I raised my voice and then pulled a knife on me telling me to get away while slashing the air," he shared. "I was scared for my life and had to slowly approach her telling her to calm down, then I took the knife from her and put in back and the drawer."
DarksideOutlaw then barricaded himself in his room to ensure that he was safe. His roommate tried to open it a few times, but he just went to sleep. "The day after, she had called the police and left the apartment," the OP continued. "I got back from my 2nd job at 11pm, and she had reported me for domestic abuse." He was then questioned by police about the situation, and a day later, he returned from work to find all of his possessions thrown out of the balcony, along with his furniture smashed or broken.
#21
We were running a used computer shop together. We had been running it for a few months so far, I had not gotten any money yet while he had pocketed all of it. One day, he asked if the agreement I had signed between us did not say what I thought it said. He asked what I would do if the agreement said he could take the business over at any time with or without my consent. I walked away from the relationship and have never spoken to him since. This was over 20 years ago.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
Don't blame you. Sooner or later, he'll run into somebody who don't play that, and WHAM! His life has become used kitty litter.
Awkward lady 2 years ago
Always seek legal advice before entering into any contract, even if it is your best friend!
#22
Pointed a gun with a laser sight at me thinking it was funny.
Glen Ellyn 2 years ago
That friendship was over in a nanosecond, I imagine. Never point a gun at anything or anyone you don't intend to shoot.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
"It'S jUSt A jOkE, iT's NoT lOaDeD!" 🙃 I hate folks who think it's no big deal to point a weapon at someone..... You want a gun, be smart and an adult about it!
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Xenon 2 years ago
I read a story on here a bit back where a guy had a shotgun in his room. Was going to have a party so made sure it was unloaded. A "friend" later picked it up and pointed it at him and jokingly pulled the trigger. His foresight saved his life. Treat every gun as loaded, even the one you just cleared.
Xenon 2 years ago
Yes, we have a patent and lock on all firearms in the world. Sometimes we may share.
Load More Replies..."My friend contacted me later and warned me that her ex was after me because she told him I had abused her (he was an ex-biker, so I was worried)," the OP continued. "I got out of there quickly and ended up going to my family's house to sleep there. She called me later saying that she still wanted me to pay rent, so I told her straight up I wasn't going to if I couldn't even live there. She got angry and hung up on me."
DarksideOutlaw then had a friend help him move out the next day while his roommate was at work. "I stopped talking to her and haven't seen her since," he added. "It broke my heart because I thought she was the one, but accepted that even if I couldn't be with her, I could still be by her side as a friend. And all that got me was one of the most painful betrayals I've had in my life."
#23
My wife and I were being forced to move due to an exorbitant rent hike. We didn't have time to find and move to a new place, so my friend offered his back room to us, free of charge. We'd put most of our stuff in storage and stay with him for a little while until we could find something. We were very grateful to him, and said as much, offering anything we could do to show our appreciation.
Come the day of the move, we have our stuff packed into the Uhaul and we're ready to go. I call him...no answer. Few minutes later, I call him... no answer. I leave a voicemail. An hour passes. We decide to drive over to his place. We arrive and he's not there. Him, his fiance, and his daughter...all not present. They haven't moved out, but no one's home and he's inot answering my calls. My wife calls him...no joy. I message him through Facebook.. I'm blocked. He blocked me. No word why, no communication, just poof. Cut off. This was 11 years ago and we haven't spoken since.
Jack Smith 2 years ago
Wow. I really wonder what was going through his head. like seriously. he offered a room to you and then just went silent? wtf. who DOES that??
Michael Largey 2 years ago
Someone who didn't discuss it with his fiancee first.
Load More Replies... Vasana Phong 2 years ago
I had to read it a couple of times to fully understand the scenario, I assumed he had already moved in, I think the friend had a change of heart (who knows it might be the wife) and he didn’t have the guts to tell him so he just blocked him by every means
C.O. Shea 2 years ago
Probably didn't consult his wife before offering... she lowered the boom.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
The only thing I could think of. Should've consulted the wife, first.
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LargeMarge 2 years ago
The friend knew when he agreed that he was not going to go through with it.
Spittnimage 2 years ago
It wasn't actually free of charge. OP was supposed to argue that he couldn't stay there without paying him, it wouldn't be right.
#24
May seem small in comparison to others here. However, I lived in an apartment and over the course of 2 years the roommates changed a few times. We were all friends beforehand and spent a lot of time together. One of them got married and we were all invited to the wedding. I was the only who wasn't made a groomsman and I wasn't invited to the bachelor party. Needless to say, the message was clear that my presence wasn't desired.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
A long-time friend of mine was getting married. The invitations went out two months before. I didn't get one. A week before the wedding, she called and said I come "if you want to ..." She was so clearly looking for a refusal that I accepted immediately. She was ice cold to me at the reception. So I left the reception early with her closest friend, and the two of us had a great time elsewhere. No contact since.
Sans Serif 2 years ago
Good for you, Michael -- perfect ending to your story...
Load More Replies... Dr Robert Neville 2 years ago
I had the inverse, a best friend who wouldn't come on the stag because "I have to work", turned up to the wedding, stuck his tongue out in every photo, and left immediately after the meal because"I have to work tomorrow". At that point I'd given up on him already which is why he wasn't my best man but that was the icing on the cake.
Brian Droste 2 years ago
Why? Did you do something or say something that got the groom upset with you?
#25
Uninvited me to her destination wedding 4 days before departure that I had already spent over 1k
ॐBoyGanesh 2 years ago (edited)
The explanation: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/UkDp4W8Q8l
Load More Replies... SuperChicken 2 years ago
Forget that friend. I would go on a solo trip and have the best holiday.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
I would have gone anyway--not to the wedding itself, but taken the trip and had a good time as a vacay :) Heck you paid for it!
Bols 2 years ago
I went to Reddit to check and she just went by herself and had a great solo trip :)
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ILoveMySon 2 years ago
It is a wedding that takes place at a location away from the home of the bride and groom. For instance, a couple from the US getting married in the Caribbean.
Load More Replies... As far as what the OP thought of the responses to his post, he told Bored Panda, "I found [some] relatable, as I've been in similar situations, and found others shocking to think that could actually be caused by friends. The worst responses are the ones that even someone's worst enemy wouldn't even consider doing. I found that the most horrifying."
The OP also shared some wise words for anyone who's currently in a toxic friendship. "Don't hesitate to cut off people that use you or abuse you," he shared. "You need to put yourself first and be selfish in this situation. It's okay to feel hurt, but don't let it consume you. The worst thing to do would be to bottle up those emotions and lash out."
#26
I've been trying to get divorced for almost 2 years. During this time, the person who I called my best friend took my ex's side about a lot of stuff. She knew he was abusive to me and our children, but still felt like I was in the wrong about everything. She felt like I should give him 50/50 custody. She felt like I should give him money. The final straw, though, was when she told me, "you are the one who has to live with what you did" when I told her that I claimed both kids on my taxes (as I was well within my rights to do) which allowed me to get a refund and him to have to pay. I made the decision because he cashed out his 401k after we split and didn't pay the penalties for early withdrawal and I didn't feel like I or the children should have to suffer for that.
Red Reilly 2 years ago
I had an abusive ex, once I was telling my old flatmate about something my ex had recently did and I was really upset, this guy, he just replies 'well I know you, so you probably did something'. hmmm maybe you are also a person I should use 'ex' with. ex friend.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
"You think he's such an angel, YOU deal with him!" ;) Glad she is out of both relationships TBH. It sounds like neither one is good for her.
David 2 years ago
I didn't know the last part was possible. I thought if you withdrew a 401K or IRA early the penalty portion was withheld automatically. I have not done so to test that but I thought that's what I read some years ago.
Andrew Cowles 2 years ago
I'm sorry, but it's not the OPs choice to "give him 50/50 custody" a father has equal rights as a mother. Other than that, yeah, sounds like her friend was a bit of a cow.
#27
I hadn’t seen them for a long time, and they suggested getting together for coffee. The place was a good choice and I was looking forward to a good old catch up when they tried to sell me an alarm system
David 2 years ago
It is SO CRINGE to bait someone into a sales pitch by using the guise of a social visit. A close second is how Amway used to (not sure what they do now) tell their people to invite people to recruitment seminars but don't tell them it is Amway. My BIL did that to me. I finally just said, "(his name), is it Amway? Yes or no?" At that point he fessed that it is. He asked me if I would please still come so I did. I heard the typical MLM pitch I was expecting and didn't join. But I found myself thinking I bet a lot of folks who come not knowing it is amway and finding out they more or less got rick rolled must be pretty pissed.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
A former friend did that to me. Out of curiosity, I attended the first event that I thought was so full of BS. They really try to pump everyone up about recruiting people and selling their shabby products. I even bought a laundry detergent, just to check it out - but that made me break-out in hives. At the time, I told them what the detergent did - but they ignored it and kept asking me to join and to buy their products. I ended the friendship.
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Sven Horlemann 2 years ago
Ah, yeah, the old catching-up routine. Disgusting. Faking real interest in someone.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
A fellow teacher invited my over to her house so she and her husband could tell me about something. When I inquired what it was, she replied "We can't tell you." Well, that's very true. You can't tell me because I'm not showing up.
Joanne Hicks 2 years ago
It happened to us. We were lured to a breakfast that turned into an Amway pitch. Lucky for us this couple moved away soon after.
"The longer you hold off on cutting them off, the worst the situation will get," he added. "Time does not dictate how strong a bond is. It is the love and trust that is the foundation of a strong friendship. Never forget your true friends will reveal themselves when you need them the most and would never bring you misery and pain intentionally. Just do it. Don't think about the hows or whys, just do it and you will thank yourself for having the strength to pull it off."
"Just take it one step at a time while you recover from the hurt," DarksideOutlaw says. "You will find yourself true friends someday soon who care and trust you just as much as you do for them. Time may not heal all wounds, but you will eventually get better from there. So don't give up, just cut off all those that would bring you down even if they call you a friend. Sometimes the line has to be drawn to move on. Live life with people who appreciate who you really are. Thank you for reading my story."
#28
When my father died he’d been in a medically induced coma for months after a big heart op and had started having some strokes which were getting more frequent and one affected the parts of his brain related to breathing so he would forever be on a ventilator - I was there at the end as he passed. It was pretty traumatic. A few days later I was round at my so-called best friend’s house and was feeling emotional and wanting to talk. She kept changing the subject and wanted to talk about her plans for the weekend, things on tv etc. I left a little while later and never returned a call from her ever again.
I’d been there for her a few months earlier when her grandfather died so it wasn’t like she didn’t understand loss and how to support friends through grief.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
One of the problems with personal grief is that people don't know how to handle others' grieving. Perhaps OP made the friend uncomfortable and didn't know what to do. Just because you know how grief is, it doesn't mean you're able to handle someone else's.
talliloo 2 years ago
my adult son was having some emotional issues - his wife passing after giving birth to their son. he was a mess and rightly so. he came home with the baby and stayed with me. i didn't mind because that is what family is for - to be there when life sucker punches you. my best friend's response to this change in my life? to be concerned that i wouldn't be spending as much time with her along with her comment 'well, he's a grown a*s adult and he needs to stand up and be a man and get over it.' needless to say, she was quite correct in that i didn't spend very much time with her after that. the crazy part was that she didn't understand why i was upset with her comments and attitude - especially when her daughter, her husband & their daughter had been living with her for over a year in order to be able to afford to have a second child.
Xenon 2 years ago
Ok now this one is of the self centered variety on the friend's part.
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MelFunction 2 years ago
I had a friend do that to me too. It hurt me, but I think she just didn't know how to deal with my pain. I still talk to her, but I know better to rely on her for any emotional support.
#29
Just dumped a friend group. They've been making me feel bad for awhile now, but I didn't have anyone else, so I stuck around. Last week one of them picked a fight with me, and instead of rolling over I fought back. She accused me of never taking accountability for my actions, which I have literally never been accused of before. Not in school, relationships, or work. In fact, it's usually highlighted that I will own up to mistakes and try to make things right. I am the only one in the group who has actively worked on making my life better, and changing the things I don't like about it. When I said I was sick of her treating me like I'm a child and lecturing me, they make fun of anything I like, and having her tell me I'm wrong about literally everything I say, she said "that's a false narrative and I won't participate." B***h, you wanna talk about accountability? Someone just straight up told you how you hurt them, and you refuse to even acknowledge that it could be true? I'm done. She can continue to be a ringleader of miserable people, and she can continue to feel superior about it all.
WIERD QUEEN RAYSUN<3 2 years ago
Oh my god something like that is happening to me right now. I'm still in the group but I cant seem to pull away from them
WIERD QUEEN RAYSUN<3 2 years ago
OMG this...I feel like i know the Bp because I went through the same thing for the exact same reason. except I'm still with he friend group
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 2 years ago
sounds like you need new friends. I'll be your friend! :)
DarkViolet 2 years ago
People like that usually end up burning themselves, and everyone around them, out.
#30
Sounds minor but I had a friend who was one of those always late people and would laugh it off every time but be enraged if you were late. I put up with it because we had some good times and I'm a people pleaser. But it was starting to bug me as it got worse and worse. I finally dropped her as a friend when she was late for my wedding which wasn't even that far and a group of our friends offered to pick her up on their way. She tried laughing about it with me in the receiving line and I was polite. After this I didn't bother contacting her and I hate that the first person in our wedding video receiving line is her. I haven't met her outside of seeing her with mutual friends since.
MotherofGuineaPigs 2 years ago
We had a friend that was chronically late. We started giving her a time that was a half hour before everyone else. She was on time then so we just kept it up that way.
Kathleen McGann 2 years ago
I used to do that with an always-late friend too. When she found out, she got so angry that she stopped talking to me for a long time. Apparently it was "manipulation" to get her not to ruin our plans by being late.
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Michael Largey 2 years ago
Always being late and having no patience with others' lateness are all about the same thing - control.
ॐBoyGanesh 2 years ago
Her world, her time. Everyone else is a minor satellite dependent on her wants & needs.
Kathleen McGann 2 years ago
A lot of people have ADHD. We learn to do things differently so we won't be late. ADHD isn't an excuse. It's just a different way of doing things
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#31
Asked a longtime friend to be in my wedding. He lived out of state. He blew it off. Said he couldn’t afford to make the trip. I had free transportation setup for him and a free hotel room. When I called him to tell him about my wedding he blew it off again. So I just looked at my phone in mid his conversation and hung up the phone. Never went back or communicated with him. He actually sent me a text asking if I was feeling ok. Didn’t respond. This set off a new standard for me with all my friends, if they don’t make an effort then I just stop and leave it at that. If they ever communicate with me again, some haven’t, I just flat out tell them. If it’s an issue I move on. I have fewer friends but those are do anything friends. If I need them they are there, if only a conversation or a need. They are there and present. As an elder I recommend all you younger folks practice this method. It’s much healthier in the long run.
David 2 years ago
I feel like context matters. Like was the friend employed / did they have the time to come? I have had times where someone could have paid the travel expenses for a trip but it would still be true that I could not afford to come. Fairly new to a job, no time off, if I leave for a week I lose the job, barely affording bills even with the job. In those times, I literally could not have afforded to take a 'free' trip.
Xenon 2 years ago (edited)
I would think even in that context a can't make it for whatever reason reply is warranted.
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Sonja 2 years ago
I dunno, this OP sounds difficult. Wanting everyone on beck and call and not allowing for disagreement or decline any demand sounds less like wanting friends then wanting admirers and peons.
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
I was going to say this. This sounds like a person who wants OTHER people to put in effort, but drops them instantly when they don't like how it's going.
Load More Replies... still tired 2 years ago
To be fair, using this method, you aren't losing friends, you're only losing fake friends (who should probably be lost anyway).
Thee8thsense 2 years ago (edited)
It would have been nice to follow up "If I need them they are there, if only a conversation or a need" with vice versa.
ॐBoyGanesh 2 years ago
Weddings! I avoid them like the plague and my true friends know that I will celebrate them and their spouse exponentially with as much love & consideration as possible, every chance I get. Just don’t try to make me a part of a wedding. Never had an issue of anyone feeling abandoned or dejected by this.
#32
A work friend would tell me about all the bad rumors he claimed he heard about me. I didn't get why suddenly there would be so many.
Turns out he started all of them himself. Stopped talking to him and haven't heard much about any of it since.
Realistic Optimist 2 years ago
People often do this for a leg up in the office, or as a power move. It's crazy (and gross) what people will do for their own interest/ego.
#33
She got plastic surgery and decided she was too good for me. Also became very shallow and was always worrying about her looks.
Winnie the Moo 2 years ago
I guess I became too fat and thus wasn’t good enough to be on photos with her plastic face, boobs, butt, lips. It took a while for me to realize she went nc with me. She slowly faded me out of her life. We were best friends at one point, but apparently I don’t fit in her ‘influencer’ lifestyle… In hindsight it made me realize how one-sided our friendship has been.
Xenon 2 years ago
How much is friend, or Memorex? Sorry, poor she's mostly plastic now pun....
Load More Replies... #34
"Girl, you're too much drama." after I told him about my husband and I dealing with a racist who shouted derogatory things at us. He didn't believe me and said we had to do something to provoke the racist. We didn't. We got yelled at by a guy in a passing car while sitting in our front yard, ffs. Needless to say, that was a year ago and I haven't spoken to him since.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
Sounds like he and the racist are birds of a feather. That, or he can't put the mirror down long enough to see that life isn't all about him.
#35
Would make it a mission to try and f**k every girl I dated.
Xenon 2 years ago
Of the particularly nasty variety. Should be voted off the planet.
Load More Replies... #36
Yelled at my wife in our house in front of mutual friends. She had to leave the room to deescalate (in her own house). He later sent me an email that apologized for raising his voice, but explicitly did NOT apologize for digging into her. Oh, and he never communicated with her at all, just expected an emailed non-apology apology to *me* to be ok.
#37
We had a bit of a falling out over some stupid, but ultimately harmless, things I said. Unfortunately, her reaction was to tell all of our mutual friends some very personal information I had shared with her in confidence. They started harassing me over social media, so I cut off all of them. I lost half of my friends because she was petty and spiteful. Teenagers are just awful.
Hobby Hopper 2 years ago
Without telling us what they said and letting us decide for ourselves whether it's "ultimately harmless", this one sounds like it could be the OP's fault.
Rostit. . 2 years ago
its not a choice or for you to decide. thats not remotely what the thread is about. its about people saying what ended their friendship. it makes zero difference whose fault it is. this isnt a 'is op in the right for ending their friendship?' thread.
Load More Replies... Richard Michael 2 years ago
She was petty and spiteful? You started with this post by minimizing your responsibility for this situation. I have a feeling they are much better off without you.
Alexandra 2 years ago
Perhaps it's more accurate to say that "teenagers can be awful"?
Load More Replies... #38
My best friend in college slept with the guy I was actively going out on dates with and trying to start a relationship with. It was devastating at the time but I cut them both off and things made a turn for the better.
#39
Probably wouldn't be a big deal to most, but mind you, this was a friend I had online, so our communication was through chat. We chatted just about everyday, but I always felt I had to walk on eggshells (so to speak) with her. The final straw was when I was telling her about something that happened with my son at school and she told me to shut up about it, she didn't want to hear (read) about it and was very adamant about it. I just spent the rest of the day feeling stunned, until I finally unfriended and blocked her. She was never the type to apologize for something, it was always someone else's fault. So I knew talking it out would be pointless.
#40
She did A LOT of things. We think she os in a constant manic episode since a year. Anyway, she brought her dog to a dinner night with other friends too. Made her dog some weird tea/vegetable soup in our porcelain dishes and oven without really asking. After her dog spread that soup, plus dog drool, all over our floor she just laughed and said someone should get a towel. So my boyfriend got one, offering it to her, and she just pointed at the mess while straddling her boyfriends lap. So she made my boyfriend clean the mess of her dog and when he missed a spot she made a break of deep throating her bfs mouth with her tongue to point at a missed spot. That was the lat straw for me.
Jack Smith 2 years ago
hope the dog was okay. she doesnt sound like someone who would be a very good pet owner. probably wouldn't treat that dog very well
DarkViolet 2 years ago
I would have thrown her out the door faster than a live grenade. Then DARED her to say something, ANYTHING. Hopefully her BF would have enough smarts not to utter a word, but just haul her and the dog off the premises. Disrespect me under my own roof? IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!!!
#41
Screwed me out of thousands of dollars when moving out of the house we were renting. I was the only one with enough income to take on the financial liability for the lease when we signed. We lived there for two years. I moved out a couple months before everyone else. Cleaned my room, bathroom, and common areas that I used the most. I *expected* them to be decent humans and clean everywhere else by the end of the lease. I showed up on move out day thinking I'd have a quick walkthrough with the landlord and be on my way. The place was trashed. They didn't do *anything*. Damage to the yard alone ate through the deposit. (This was expected as the friend who said he'd maintain it simply didn't). I'm apologizing to the landlord and trying to get everything squared away. I shell out a week of prorated rent. Schedule housecleaning and junk hauling. It takes 2 cleaners 9 hours to clean it up, and a truck and a half of junk had to get hauled away. I *graciously* split the bill for all that 4 ways between us and ask everyone to pay me back their share. Only one of them paid me anything. One of the "friends" had the *audacity* to claim I should have coordinated with them first before hiring anyone, and that's why he wasn't paying me. *I was the one financially liable in the contract in order for us to secure the lease.* The icing on this s**t is... Remember my room that I cleaned before moving out? Naturally, I was still paying my share of the rent. I didn't want to screw them over by early terminating the lease and making them scramble to find new homes or force them to cover my share. They had someone else move into my room *without even telling me.* That included a dog that, by the smell when I came back, peed on the floor in there many times. So yeah, I'm not interested in staying in touch.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
I hope you took pictures of the carnage. The next time any of them are looking to rent, just show the prospective landlord those pictures, and have him talk with the previous landlord. The results should be quite entertaining.
#43
Impregnate my wife.
#44
His sister moved in with us and she started to break all the dishes and glasses. She has anger issues and got dishonorable discharge from military for hitting a captain. I moved out quick 😂
#45
She accused me of doing witchcraft on my cousin who was 1 at the time. I would never do anything to hurt that sweet little girl.
Khall Khall 2 years ago
Uh. In case you're ever wondering...no one can hurt someone with 'witchcraft'. Most of these are terrible things that people did to other people and this would be a mean, and insane, thing to say to someone. But then the 'but I would never hurt her' tone just makes it sound like they think they could? Idk. It's not even a discussion. This isn't a 'bad friend' this is someone who has completely detached from reality?
Michael Largey 2 years ago
If you're giving people potions to drink, you can do a lot of harm with "witchcraft".
Load More Replies... #46
I was the bad friend who was cut off. I invited him over a few days after I started getting a few mysterious red spots. I thought it was just an allergy or something, but a few weeks later, we found out it was bedbugs. It was an accident, of course, if i'd known what they were initially i would have never invited him over. It didn't matter, though - my friend had OCD.
ॐBoyGanesh 2 years ago (edited)
Wait…spots all over and waited a few days, invites people over and eventually gets this checked out? Ya, I’d be going to a doctor within hours. Even a free clinic. I’d at least investigate immediately. I’d bail on this shíthead, too. That’s not an accident. That’s negligence.
Astrophile 2 years ago
You don’t know enough details from the sentence “a few mysterious red spots” to be so judgmental. This is why I don’t post on Reddit, people will pick your story apart and add their own narrative just to experience the thrill of feeling superior to someone
Load More Replies... Astrophile 2 years ago
Ok so what’s the reason? Bedbugs can happen to literally anyone. It has nothing to do with cleanliness. OP didn’t know they had bedbugs, they said thought they had an allergy. They obviously feel lots of remorse for inviting their friend to stay in a bedbug-filled home. So what exactly did they do to be a bad friend? I feel like that’s a pretty unfair judgment, yikes.
Load More Replies... #47
Lie to me that he wants to help me invest while he took my money and gambled it away. Im fine if it was just mine, but he convinced me to ask my ex to invest in it as well, saying there's a guaranteed return within 3 months. Got to know the truth and my money back after texting his gf and family when he ghosted on me. Had the audacity to contact and talk to me like nothing happened after.
Realistic Optimist 2 years ago
Honestly, he doesn't sound too far off from an actual broker. Glad you got your money back though!
#48
Had a best friend since 3rd grade who got a girl I was dating on and off all through high school drunk and slept with her when we were 18, then he told me like it was some accomplishment, bragging and what not. Had absolutely zero sense of the bro code I guess. This was the one girl who was off limits to him. He never apologized or attempted to talk to me again afterwards.
kissmychakram 2 years ago
He raped a girl but you're upset because it violated the bro-code? Sort yourself out.
Xenon 2 years ago
Yeah, little regard for the girl, who as you rightly said was raped. Then wants sympathy for his friend violating the bro code. I am actually too aghast and angry to think of a response to that.
Load More Replies... 
#49
Other friends told me she talked badly about me behind my back and made fun of everything I did. I never talked to her since but she sent me a message after I ended the contact saying she wanted to “meet up on neutral ground to talk”.
#50
Old best friend from high school, when I moved back to Chicago after college (and more), reconnected. He was one of at least a dozen marines the fing recruiters got from our high school. He started getting really weird after we reconnected. And then started accusing me of wild things like theft, via Facebook. Ended it there. Poor guy. Hope he’s OK. Every one of those dudes lost the plot after the war. F**k all of that.
Hobby Hopper 2 years ago
I was friends with a guy in HS that joined the Army afterwards. Honestly, he wasn't really that great of a guy to begin with, but we were both odd kids and lonely, so we hung out a few times. I'd reconnected with him through FB and then email, until he said some very ugly racist things about Iraqis from his time there in the military. After that, I was completely done.
#51
Had a make-out session with my husband that I only found out about by coincidence. I should have booted him, too. Live and learn.
#52
Kept repeating herself over and over again until the day she said she thought it was funny and wasn’t going to stop. So I did I blocked her on everything and haven’t had contact in years, life is so peaceful now 😀
Jane Doe 2 years ago
I think OP's friend was repeating some sentence and it was really annoying. OP said, you know you keep saying the the same thing, right? Friend said, yeah. Isn't that funny? OP said no and never talked to her again. I think friend REALLY made OP hate using words. A few more here are really necessary.
Load More Replies... #53
went behind my back to constantly talk to my now ex girlfriend, saying how she deserved so much better than me and how she would act if she was in the relationship. just for clarification, my ex never said anything about how apparently unhappy she was and how many ‘problems’ there were in the relationship so i was completely and totally blindsided. cut both of them off and a few weeks later they both moved four hours away to live with eachother since they lost all of their friends
What do you think ?
Jack Smith 2 years ago
To anyone out there having a rough time or feeling lonely: I get it. You'll find new friends, things will get better. I understand, and I love you. You've got at least one person out there rooting for you, and it's me.
Cass 2 years ago
We met when I moved to live with my husband in his home city. We had kids the same age and it was great to have a friend. We helped and supported each other for 30 years no matter what. Then she decided to move. No problem. We stayed in touch through email. The emails came further apart, and then one day out of the blue she started filling my mailbox with racist rightwing propaganda. After 30 years as friends, she knew very well where I stood on the topic. I told her what I thought about it and when the emails kept on coming I blocked her.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I was that terrible friend. I threatened my first best friend with suicide and irritated the whole group and tried to be “edgy”. My family got COVID and I accused them of hanging out with me in the past week so they got stuck in quarantine because of me. This was all 2 years ago and I regret doing all those things as they were good people but I was too selfish
Tobias Reaper 2 years ago
i was friends with someone for over 20 years and during a period where i was going through a pretty bad bout of depression he said and i quote "we wont want to hang around with you anymore if you dont cheer up" that was beginning of the end for me i still stuck it out for a few more years until i met my best friend now and realised how a friendship should be i havent talked to him for a few years now i dont wish him bad but have no room in my life for people that treat me like he did
John Dilligaf 2 years ago
changed jobs. had known some of my co-workers for 10 years or more. We did lunches, birthday parties, cook-out, bar nights etc together. But as soon as I changed jobs that all stopped. My social circle went from 15-20 to about 5 seemingly overnight.
Kathleen McGann 2 years ago (edited)
My college friends and I moved to the same area and hung out together all the time. I married my best friend's husband's best friend. But six months into the marriage, I knew it was a terrible mistake. I got married to keep the friend group together, not because I loved the husband's best friend. I was at my best friend's house alone with her one day and I just started sobbing. She hugged me and asked what was wrong and I said, "I don't want to be married. I made a terrible mistake.". She went stiff, straightened up, and walked into the kitchen to start dinner. Never acknowledged what I said or what I was feeling. Just pretended it never happened. When she had their first child, she told a mutual friend she was happy her child was never exposed to a horrible person like me. Did I mention that she and her husband would never have met had I not brought them together? I keep waiting to get an email telling me her marriage broke up and telling me I was her best friend in the worId but I doubt I'd respond now.
Jack Smith 2 years ago
To anyone out there having a rough time or feeling lonely: I get it. You'll find new friends, things will get better. I understand, and I love you. You've got at least one person out there rooting for you, and it's me.
Cass 2 years ago
We met when I moved to live with my husband in his home city. We had kids the same age and it was great to have a friend. We helped and supported each other for 30 years no matter what. Then she decided to move. No problem. We stayed in touch through email. The emails came further apart, and then one day out of the blue she started filling my mailbox with racist rightwing propaganda. After 30 years as friends, she knew very well where I stood on the topic. I told her what I thought about it and when the emails kept on coming I blocked her.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I was that terrible friend. I threatened my first best friend with suicide and irritated the whole group and tried to be “edgy”. My family got COVID and I accused them of hanging out with me in the past week so they got stuck in quarantine because of me. This was all 2 years ago and I regret doing all those things as they were good people but I was too selfish
Tobias Reaper 2 years ago
i was friends with someone for over 20 years and during a period where i was going through a pretty bad bout of depression he said and i quote "we wont want to hang around with you anymore if you dont cheer up" that was beginning of the end for me i still stuck it out for a few more years until i met my best friend now and realised how a friendship should be i havent talked to him for a few years now i dont wish him bad but have no room in my life for people that treat me like he did
John Dilligaf 2 years ago
changed jobs. had known some of my co-workers for 10 years or more. We did lunches, birthday parties, cook-out, bar nights etc together. But as soon as I changed jobs that all stopped. My social circle went from 15-20 to about 5 seemingly overnight.
Kathleen McGann 2 years ago (edited)
My college friends and I moved to the same area and hung out together all the time. I married my best friend's husband's best friend. But six months into the marriage, I knew it was a terrible mistake. I got married to keep the friend group together, not because I loved the husband's best friend. I was at my best friend's house alone with her one day and I just started sobbing. She hugged me and asked what was wrong and I said, "I don't want to be married. I made a terrible mistake.". She went stiff, straightened up, and walked into the kitchen to start dinner. Never acknowledged what I said or what I was feeling. Just pretended it never happened. When she had their first child, she told a mutual friend she was happy her child was never exposed to a horrible person like me. Did I mention that she and her husband would never have met had I not brought them together? I keep waiting to get an email telling me her marriage broke up and telling me I was her best friend in the worId but I doubt I'd respond now.
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