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30 Times People Went On First Dates And Noped Right Out Of Seeing That Person Again After These Red Flags Started Flying
If you've ever been on a date, you know how stressful and straight-up scary they can be. Besides the first-date anxiety, which can make you sweat and act crazy, we're all afraid that something we might say or do will scare off our potential soul mate.
Of course, as we know by now, this is pretty much unavoidable. No matter how hard we try to be on our best behavior, saving our biggest pet peeves for that third date, you can't know if some of your quirks won't be a total deal-breaker. Pondering the same question, u/h8raide88 decided to pose it to the Ask Reddit community, amassing more than 20,000 responses. From people obsessed with their date's credit scores to gents who are convinced mansplaining is a surefire way to woo ladies, this one sure is a doozy.
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#1
Racism.
deanna woods 2 years ago
A guy I met online was interested in me until he learned that I was black. After that he got mad at me and didn't want to talk anymore.
DarkViolet 2 years ago
If only my grey matter had been functioning at full power in my late teens. For five, I dated someone whose family could have started their own chapter of the KKK. They actually gave me four pages of the most disgusting, tasteless, insulting racist jokes in existence. It wasn't until he (finally!) walked away that I realized what he was--a racist narcissist.
You've swiped right, exchanged witty banter, and landed yourself a coveted first date. Excitement fills the air, and warm butterflies fill your tummy as you imagine the possibilities of a potential connection. But before you dive headfirst into the love pool, it's important to not get ahead of yourself, since there might be a deal-breaker just around the next corner.
In fact, the success ratio of the first date is so low that nowadays people often find themselves contemplating an escape plan before even stepping foot into the rendezvous. Startlingly, a recent statistic revealed that nearly 60% of single individuals openly confessed to resorting to an escape plan to extricate themselves from the clutches of a nightmarish first date.
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#2
O 🦌 How about when I was invited out with a guy I met online to a nearby sushi place. Wed texted and chatted for about a week til I finally felt comfortable meeting him. Date picked me up. The conversation on the drive there was great. Seemed like we were connecting. However, while at the restaurant, he proceeded to order about $100 worth of sushi, while I ordered maybe a roll and some appetizers. My total would have been about $30, at most. I tried to engage him, but quickly realized the conversation was lacking, because he was... uh. busy. He proceeded to text on his phone the entire time at dinner, ignored me and took pics of his food, posted that the place we were at was amazing. He. Ate. Everything. In. Front. Of. Him. Ok. Gotcha. At this point, I knew what was going on. And... when the bill came, he was still on his phone, posting, texting, laughing at the response to his posts. He ignored the waiter, plus the bill. The waiter politely left it on the table. I looked at my date, then the waiter. Date never looked up from his phone. I then quietly, and politely asked the waiter to split our bill (since date was so consumed with his phone, he didn't notice). Waiter retrieved the bill, adjusted it, then came back. With separate bills this time. The look on my 'date's face when he was handed a $100 bill for his food was priceless. I paid mine with my card, plus a hefty tip. Date asked me 'uh, oh c**p, I forgot my wallet! Can you spot me?' I just pretended I was on my phone and left him there, and walked out the door. I'd already ordered an uber at this point (since he drove us there). (And yes, don't worry, the waiter got a massive tip, about the amount of my bill - it wasn't his fault that the date was an a**hat).
DrLivingstonipresume 2 years ago
This is fantastic! I love people like you; no hateful words, yelling, or dramatic scenes. You just left the dope at the table and with a bill he couldn't pay. That is brilliant.
Sonja 2 years ago
Oh he was able to pay. He just didn't want to and tried 5o weasel out of it
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ninjaTrashPandaBoom 2 years ago
Very well done. Maybe he can "influence" his way out that bill. I really dislike the entitled "influencers" that think the world owes them and they should get everything handed to them on a silver platter because they have X number of followers.
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 2 years ago (edited)
Anyone can be a self-centered, entitled d-bag. *not you, the guy in the post
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According to a study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, researchers provided a list of 17 negative personality traits to over 5000 single adults. Participants were asked to indicate whether they would consider these traits as deal breakers in a long-term relationship with a potential partner. While the Independent reports that more women than men considered these traits as deal breakers, the study revealed that there were more similarities than differences between the two sexes.
When it comes to deal-breakers, both men and women agree that a "disheveled or unclean appearance" takes the top spot, with 71 percent of women and 63 percent of men considering it a major turn-off. Additionally, 72 percent of women and 60 percent of men cannot tolerate a partner who is deemed "lazy."
#3
Anyone who doesn't understand why a first meeting in public is best for women
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
That's not a red flag, that's a f*****g alarm bell, and klaxon sirens all at once.
Princess Mar-li Cathryn 2 years ago
I once canceled a first date because he insisted we meet at his place.
Rostit . 2 years ago
I used to always suggest we had a date in my basement dungeon. Oddly I never had anyone interested.
David H 2 years ago (edited)
I find the lounge bars at upscale hotels are a great first meeting spot. Its public, high class, simple drinks, and comfy. Never had a complaint when I do that.
ERIKA H. 2 years ago (edited)
For me, I might interpret that as a red flag because I'd be thinking, "why does this guy want to meet at a hotel? Does he want easy access to a room? Does he think this date is going to lead to sex automatically?". Not saying that's at all your intention. just for me, personally, as a women that would be a thought that went through my head.
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kim davies 2 years ago
I was getting ready to meet a guy for a first date at a donut shop but he messaged me and asked to meet me at a park. At night. I was like nope. Told him I wasn’t comfortable with that, he got mad and started going off about what a great guy he is and nothing bad is going to happen. I told him I was no longer interested. I had to block him but he managed to message me through a friend, blocked them too. It got to the point I had to change my number and delete my dating profile. Thankfully he didn’t know where I lived or worked and I was using a different name for my Facebook so he couldn’t creep that and we didn’t have any mutual friends. Still, super scary.
Niki A 2 years ago
I have done the dumbest s**t as a woman. With my older children's dad we went alone driving in the middle of nowhere. Luckily, he was not a psychopath. With my little one, I went fishing with his dad and friend. It was in a very open and public area, but people were mostly indoors. As an older and wiser me, I would NEVER do that again.
Sonja 2 years ago
Men who insist that taking safety measures is somehow an insult against them are either extremely stupid or extremely egoistic. What they're definitely don't have is compassion and empathy. If a man is truly a kind and safe guy, he needs to be aware that while most men are truly harmless, the fact that rapists and stalkers and misogynists still exist means a woman can't take the chance for them. And it's extremely egoistic to demand that someone risks their life just so you feel better. Men have no risk in this. The worst that can happen is that they have to spend a little more time to get to know each other or wait a few minutes, or have to limit first dates to public spaces. None of which is exactly life threatening. But a woman who is giving a stranger the benefit of the doubt risks physical injury or even death because she has no way to know what she's getting into before she's actually in! This is too high a risk to pamper a bruised ego.
Chihuahua Mama 2 years ago
A giu I was talking to online years ago got really offended when I didn't want him to pick me up at my house for our first in person meeting. He was confused as to why I didn't trust him... Buddy I don't know you!
#4
Trump supporter. Seriously. It means their moral compass is so diametrically opposed to mine. their is 0% chance we would work out.
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
Political differences are a big thing you should sort out early. This person disagrees with trump, a trumper might disagree with them. It’s not something to freak out about! It’s just logical thinking.
Russell Rieckenberg 2 years ago
Maybe it's not political diffences, but supporting someone totally lacking character.
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Rostit . 2 years ago
as an independant with a mix of liberal and conservative values, I dont have a problem with real republicans or democrats. But the magats and the extreme left folks are just as nutty as each other.
Der Kommissar 2 years ago
I didn't see any extreme left folks storm the Capitol and try to stop the peaceful transfer of power
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Knox Warner 2 years ago
Today, political differences are a lot more than just political differences. Today, they encompass lifestyle, desired lifestyle, level of empathy, collective goals and ideals, and very often the presence of selfishness and rampant paranoia.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Just posted about this. I ended a friendship when she became a Trump supporter. I was like "Who ARE you?" We had always been on the same page when it came to most things that require a moral compass & a conscience, social or otherwise. She goes on to inform me she is a Pro-Life Supporter as well, and started spouting some seriously right wing Christianity bullsh*t. So I asked her, "Did you decide that before or after I took you to the clinic for your SECOND abortion?" Yeah. Bye, Felicia.
When it comes to deal-breakers, both men and women agree that a "disheveled or unclean appearance" takes the top spot, with 71 percent of women and 63 percent of men considering it a major turn-off. Additionally, 72 percent of women and 60 percent of men cannot tolerate a partner who is deemed "lazy." Being "too needy" is another deal-breaker, with 69 percent of women and 57 percent of men opting to walk away.
#5
They only want to talk about themselves.
I once had a 2-hour blind date. By the end, I knew everything about this girl. I knew all of her cats by name, *and what their favorite movies were.*
She asked me literally nothing, and just kept jumping from topic to topic.
At the end of the date, she wanted to trade numbers, and I couldn't help but ask "What's my name?" and she didn't know. So I just paid for my meal and left.
Alexia 2 years ago
I had such a date. The guy talked only about himself the entire time: his college, his job at a supermarket, his crappy boss. All my attempts to change the subject were promptly met with: "No, no, let me tell you!!" At the end he told me not to pin my hopes on a relationship with him, because his "dream girlfriend" would be a blue-eyed blonde (I am brunette, green eyes).
DrLivingstonipresume 2 years ago
I had this happen but with a new friend date. Our kids are friends and she was new in town so I invited her for coffee. She talked for nearly an hour and a half about her self, when I tried to participate she actually went "shh, no let me finish...oh sorry! That was rude but let me finish, I promise it's worth it!" It wasn't worth it. I managed to avoid her for a year until she moved again. Yikes.
troufaki13 2 years ago
Happened to me too once. It was very awkward, especially when I tried to say something and he said "no, you're wrong" and kept talking like he was giving a lecture
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 2 years ago
Same thing here, blind date and this girl was giving a lecture, I was not allowed to interrupt. When I finally got a word in edgewise, I asked if she could pay for her half of the dinner. Flabbergasted she replied "yes, of course, I have my own money and can take care of myself" and continued with her lecture. I excused myself, flagged the waiter down and paid my half of the bill with a nice tip. She's probably still there lecturing that poor waiter.
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Laura Lou 2 years ago
My very first date I ever had went like this! I had had a crush on this guy for probably 5 years when I finally worked up the courage to ask him for a date. He didn't ask more than a couple of questions about me, but was fine talking the entire time about himself. Needless to say I did not have a crush on him after that!
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I'm a total introvert. If you got me to talk extensively about myself on the first date, that meant you had me in the palm of your hand.
Disgruntled Pelican 2 years ago
I was wondering the same! When my cat was alive, she was addicted to Sheryl Crow's music video for "Soak up the Sun" but she wasn't big into actual movies.
Load More Replies... Sonja 2 years ago
I was set up with a blind date without knowing by a friend. And when I realised what was happening I was so nervous I started blabbering in a constant stream of words about anything and everything. From my pet bunny to my favourite TV show to food I didn't like and random facts about the development of fungi. He just quietly listened. We exchanged numbers and he spent one year calling me every evening and listening to more blabbering. Sometimes he got a word or two in too. We dated again and eventually became a couple. He's very quiet and hates carrying a conversation, I can't shut up but he sais he likes that. I love him dearly and I managed to find his triggers that make him talk, so nowadays our conversations are much less one sided. We're together for 26 years now. 16 years happily married. He once said he'd never thought he'd find THE girl but knew after just one week that I was the one. I joked that it was no wonder, he already knew my whole life story then.
#6
Complimenting me by trashing my entire gender. "You really know your s**t, I've never met a female who knew so much about politics". Yeah Bud, you sure have you just didn't listen.
Astrius 2 years ago
Aight, either dehumanize everyone or no one, goddammit
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Dandelion Patch 2 years ago
Unless he refers to human men as males, which I doubt, "females" is not a complimentary term.
David H 2 years ago
I mean my favorite candidate in 2024 is Nikki Haley, you will never meet a person, period, who knows as much about politics as her. Even if you disagree with her positions and ideology, she is brilliant, and has never lost a political race yet.
Lupita Nyong'heaux 2 years ago
oh, you mean Nimarata Randhawa, the woman who changed her name and didn't acknowledge her Sikh parents who were sitting in the first row in her thank you speech? THAT nikki haley? 🙄😒
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"If you've been on one or two dates with somebody and then they suddenly start to love-bomb you with loads of texts, loads of emails, telling you how much they like you, making loads of plans for the future - that is a big warning sign," Laura Buckley, a certified matchmaker and the founder of Secret Alchemy, told Bored Panda in a Zoom call.
#7
The amount of guys who think negging is a good flirting technique is ridiculous. Contrary to what you read on WikiHow, insulting a girl doesn't make her want to impress you, it just makes her realize you're a d**k.
Henry Myers 2 years ago (edited)
Do people actually do this? Edit: wow I didn’t realize how many people do this. That’s messed up
Rostit . 2 years ago
yup. incels, boys without older brothers to teach them or dads who have no idea how to connect with their sons. I was 100% a nice-guy for part of Highschool. I really thought being nice was how you got laid. I had no help from my father or any other male figure in my life. I was absolutely fortunate and will forever be indebted to a girl who took enough pity to sit me down and lay out how bad the whole "nice guy " thing was. Truly opened my eyes. I went on to have many great long term relationships with many wonderful women until I met my wife. Nicole if you ever see this. thank you from the bottom of my cold dead heart.
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Wintermute 2 years ago
As much as we like to pretend it doesn't, that pick up artist stuff actually DOES work. Preying on people's insecurities is a powerful and effective means of manipulation by many elements of our society. Pick up artists get exactly what they want out of it. Sex. If you're judging by how many successful relationships come out of it, you're looking at it differently. Their goal is sex and nothing more - and they get it frequently. It's easy to acknowledge how creepy and skeevy it is, but don't ever pretend it doesn't work. Denial is a great path to being manipulated by people like this.
Lynne Wadlinger 2 years ago
Great for building your sexually transmitted disease resume!! Ouch that burns.
Load More Replies... Rostit . 2 years ago
Andrew Taint is not someone to emulate. Guys under 40 I am talking to you.
Bronze Republic 2 years ago
I don't understand how people can even stand listening to him. We need younger guys to do better. Whatever happened to idols like George Washington or MLK?
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sofacushionfort 2 years ago
Would the negging pickup artists and the “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen” dating strategists please only date each other, and leave the rest of us alone?
Gypsy Lee 2 years ago
If you have to diminish someone else to get what you want chances are you are a manipulative narcissist with low self-esteem. Kindness goes a long way. How is that not common knowledge at this point? This is one of those instances where it’s not just walk away, it’s sprint. If you can find a rocket ship, even better.
Bronze Republic 2 years ago
I can't ever believe people who do this. As a guy when I see a guy doing this I often try to turn the tables back on them.
rob 2 years ago
Yeah you often part of other peoples intimate conversations where you hear their private conversations?
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#8
On their phone the whole time. If you can't disconnect for an hour or so to engage with me then it's not going to work.
Amy Smith 2 years ago
This happened to me once. She spent ages looking at her phone, kept me out for a couple of hours and then jumped out of her seat and claimed she had to meet her best friend for dinner (was about 9.30pm) and walked out. Must have gotten a better offer. I wasn't overly interested in her either so I deleted her number, met my friends for one last drink and went home to bed. Heard from her about a month later at which point I'd mostly forgotten about it telling me that she just hadn't felt it. Why explain at all at that stage. I laughed it off at the time, this reminded me, so laughing it off again now. But yes, agreed, this is super rude in my opinion. What's the point in going on a date with someone if you have zero interest in talking to them? Unless they're creepy and you're texting for rescue
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 2 years ago
Same, if I start to notice that my date is spending too much time on their phone, I end it immediately. If they cannot ignore their phone for a while and focus on our first date, it's only going to get worse in a relationship. I mean it's our first date!
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Paul Navarrete 2 years ago
I instantly approved of the guy my cousin was dating when his phone rang while he was talking to my grandpa. Without breaking eye contact or disengaging from the conversation, he reached down and silenced the phone.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago (edited)
I (60f) used to host family dinners about once a month (when we all lived in the same city). I had a basket on the breakfast bar as you walked in with a sign: Kindly Deposit All Cell Phones Here (if you can't spend 2 hours actually paying attention & spending time with your family, please just GO HOME). Most family members chuckled and surrendered their phones, but my 1/2 sister (38-9?, who I don't particularly like) questioned me about it. I was like, UM - why is this so hard to comprehend? You came to a family dinner, so I expect you to engage with YOUR FAMILY. She tried to argue with me about it. Seriously? So I pointed out that she worked at a pizza parlor, and I was pretty sure she wasn't going to miss a call from NASA. (Before anyone starts hating on me, the ONLY reason she, her husband & kid get invited is because she lives with my stepmother, who is one of my oldest & dearest friends - AND I would like to point out that I always made a special effort to make the meals vegan friendly - just for her, the hubs & kid).
Terry Tobias 2 years ago
For me it's the same as someone who doesn't look at you while you're speaking to them. If someone does that I just stop talking. If I was on a date and the person kept looking at their phone I'd get up and leave.
Love bombing, though it may appear innocuous in certain instances, actually encompasses a more severe 'red flag' within a relationship. It involves the use of seemingly lavishing gestures like sending presents, flowers, constant communication via texts and calls, and other behaviors, as a means to establish dominance and control over the other person. If you've seen Netflix's 'The Tinder Swindler,' you know what we're on about.
#9
Flat earther believer, anti vaxxer, rude to staff, tries too hard to look quirky or talks like an anime character. Also waterboarding conversationalist. Like you have to torture them to hold a conversation.
Carlos 2 years ago
We introverts are screwed, because we like you, the harder it will be for us to hold a conversation with you, at least at the beginning.
Bronze Republic 2 years ago
There is a difference between being introverted and giving one word answers. I have been dating an introvert almost 2 years now and the first conversation was not like pulling teeth. I did initiate a lot at the start, but it was never one word responses.
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Chexmy Licks/egg🇯🇵 2 years ago
omg the anime character is so annoying especially if they try so hard and believe that they r them its so annoying, i got this friend from australia. he watched anime and tries so hard to sound like bakugo?istg he sounds like a drunk parrot. but i would pretty much rather to hear how would a drunk parrot would sound like lol
Nezuko_chan 2 years ago
I just imagined someone saying “UMAI” every time he took a bite, demon slayer fans know who I’m talking about
#10
When she puts her smoke out in her baked potato.
Sue Denham 2 years ago
Tell me she didn't then eat the potato? Also: do people still smoke in restaurants somewhere in the world?
Russell Rieckenberg 2 years ago
No, she carries a baked potato with her wherever she goes.
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Knox Warner 2 years ago
Any smoker. I've gone out on a couple of dates where I didn't know they were smokers until after we were out. I didn't actually say anything about it, which may have been a mistake, but I'm sure she noticed a sudden shut-down in me. Couldn't wait for it to be over.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
Well if the potato was going in the trash and.... look at least she didn't litter her cigarette butt is all I'm saying.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
Where can you even smoke in a restaurant? I think's it's pretty much illegal everywhere in the US.
"If you've been single for a while and you meet somebody who seems really lovely, treats you with affection and attention, it's really difficult to take a step back and go, 'What's that all about?'", Buckley explained, admitting most single people have fallen for this at least once in their experience. "Obviously, now we know that love bombing can be quite psychologically damaging and it can lead to abusive relationships."
#11
Heavy breathing, open mouth chewer or close minded
Alexia 2 years ago
Same for coughing or sneezing in your face, chewing fingernails, smelly breath, or nose full of secretions.
Matthew Holt 2 years ago
I chew my nails as a nervous tendency. Thank god my wife was able to look past that.
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DarkViolet 2 years ago
Someone who thinks that half a can of Axe body deodorant is an adequate substitute for a hot shower or bath with SOAP AND WATER.
#12
Constantly talking about their exes
Bronze Republic 2 years ago
Yes! Never on a first date! Only after maybe the 5th one you can say you had one but then move on.
Load More Replies... Disgruntled Pelican 2 years ago
I had a date that did this. By the end of dinner I knew more about his ex than him. He tried to kiss me at the end of the night and I politely declined before noping the hell outta there. He could not figure out why I didn't want a second date.
Bronze Republic 2 years ago
I'd say, "Thanks for the date, but I think you got the wrong number. I'm not [insert ex name here]."
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Kurichfield the Drunk 2 years ago
I'd say that the person isn't over the ex yet and they are immediately locked in the friend zone without a key
Knox Warner 2 years ago
Sooner or later, their exes will start to compare favorably to you. I don't know of a relationship (say, within the age range of say 20-to-35 year olds) where this didn't happen. This is if they start talking about their exes from the first date on, and unprompted.
According to a recent Forbes article, the TikTok hashtags #lovebombing and #lovebomb have gained significant attention, accumulating 329 million and 133 million views, respectively. Users are utilizing these hashtags to share their own personal encounters with the manipulative phenomenon of love bombing.
#13
They end up being 3 badgers in a trench coat.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
You got badgers? f**k me I keep getting gnomes in the damn trench coat.
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 2 years ago
Same, at least they would be interesting, esp if they were honey badgers lol
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Mount Kilamontanjiro (she/her) 2 years ago
Three Owls In A Trenchcoat, how do you feel about this?
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 2 years ago
As long as they're not that featherless owl from that other post. Still waiting for my "unsee juice"
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Bronze Republic 2 years ago
"Good work guys! He never suspected who we were! Oh... wait.... is speech to text turned on here?"
#14
If they are hard to talk to. Might not make them a bad person, but obviously there is no chemistry if all I get are one word answers where they also don't reciprocate questions.
"So you're a teacher right?"
'Yep'
......
"Well that's cool what grade?"
'2nd'
.....
"Aw what a great age! That's like the perfect time cause kids still kind of like school!"
'uh huh'
....check please!
Goat express 2 years ago
I've been on dates like this. And also dates where he didn't shut up about the most boring sh!t.
Domo KO 2 years ago
I don't know how to fix this 😔 sometimes my brain shuts down in conversations and I don't know what to say
Kobe (she) 2 years ago
Give a short honest answer. Then say things like; how about you? Keep throwing the ball back. LIke : how about ( teaching 6th grade) ...? / how come ( you chose to be a teacher) ? / What if ( you could teach in another country) / Image...Those kinds of questions usually help to get conversation going :)
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Terry Tobias 2 years ago
It's like playing catch and they don't throw the balk back so you have to walk over and take it from them.
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
So you went on a date with my mother, then? Any time I’d text her or try to talk to her I’d get one word answers in response. It would’ve been easier to get blood out of a stone!
As one of the most upvoted comments in the list suggests, having your date speak about their ex won't lead to a second date. "If I'm on a first date and a person is chatting away about their ex and they're calling them crazy or a crank, that's going to be a no for me," said Buckley.
#15
If she has kids or wants to have them, I'm out. I want nothing to do with parenthood.
Sue Denham 2 years ago
And if you tell her that up front she'll probably appreciate the time you've saved her.
Slarty Bartfast 2 years ago
...or be relieved that her wish to stay child free is not going to be an issue!
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Amy Taylor 2 years ago
As long as you’re upfront about it… I can’t tell you how many friends of mine that were dating someone for ages before the other person revealed that having kids was a deal breaker.
Royal Stray 2 years ago
For me it's a bit of the other way around, if someone wants kids it wouldn't be for me, so I do think that this is something that should come up if whoever's in the relationship wants to continue it
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Nimitz 2 years ago
Especially for queer couples. Find out if your prospective partner wants to have kids. If you're not going to give birth to them yourselves, the adoption process/surrogacy can be brutal and heartbreaking. Especially if you live in a place where administrators try to discriminate against queer couples, like Quebec or Alberta (personal experience...)
dbildbo 2 years ago
I find this confusing, if the partner doesn't want kids, then the rest is moot.
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Royal Stray 2 years ago
I think this is an important topic as soon as the relationship gets serious, not everyone wants kids, and that's fine
Mark Fergel 2 years ago
Why would you not know this even before the first date? Nearly all of the online sites have a "children status" field. You should at least know if she already has kids before even meeting.
#16
Being a know it all. I had lunch with someone who called the table salt “sodium chloride” and used the bread as a way to tell me everything he knew about complex carbohydrates (some of which wasn’t even correct) and their connections to evolutionary theory. Just felt like he was compensating for something
Bronze Republic 2 years ago
Maybe they were condescending too in their tone? Definitely a difference between talking down and rambling.
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The Sassy Wife 2 years ago
My husband and kids refer to me as a know-it-all or "Hermione" but not in bad way like this guy. They say I'm an encyclopedia of useless fun facts.
Bronze Republic 2 years ago
Yeah. Maybe they were condensending in their tone towards op?
Load More Replies... "Learning how relationships ended (and even began) and how long they lasted can tell you a lot about a person," Yuko Nippoda, psychotherapist and spokesperson for the UK Council for Psychotherapy, recently told Refinery29. "It can reveal red flags, especially in the way they talk about their exes."
#17
For me. During at least some point during a first date I think hobbies or passions are brought up. I really dont care what hobbies you have. You could be into the dumbest s**t ever. As long as you are into something. Anything. My red flag is when she says she goes to bars and clubs. And thinks thats a hobby. I nope the f**k out.
Nezuko_chan 2 years ago
My friend says watching YouTube is a hobby I din’t know if it is but I don’t think it is
Bronze Republic 2 years ago
Like using YouTube to listen to music, or shows you like that's a hobby! Mindlessly letting it autoplay is not.
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Suna Amun 2 years ago
I think this is a close minded comment, there are other things to do in bars beside drinking. I personally was part of a cricket (darts) league and we met every week. That's a hobby, and it's at a bar. I think people can be callous and quick to judge when they hear certain things, and it makes them less open to accept things. Not everyone has to fit in this perfect little box from the get go, let people tell you about themselves and don't assume it's something distasteful to you before they can tell you about it.
Knox Warner 2 years ago
The younger you are when you're seeking out a partner, the less likely it is you even know or understand who you yourself are. Hobbies and outside interests are a part of this, and in this case they might just not have found one yet. I'll admit, though, they should be looking for one.
#18
Children. I wish all the best to all the single parents in the world but I am not signing up to be a step-parent.
Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago
And that is perfectly OK. Not everyone wants the responsibility of extra kids, especially when those kids aren't their own.
Annie 2 years ago
This. My ex-husband had 2 kids from a previous marriage but he refused to see how miserable they made my life, especially after they moved in with us. After I divorced him, he remarried a woman with 2 kids who made HIS life miserable & he told a friend that he finally understood what I'd gone through.
Ione Decep 2 years ago
I recall a comment a single dad gave regarding this thought: "I'm not looking for someone to take care of my kids. I can do that just fine on my own. What I am looking for is another grown-up to have conversations and a glass of wine with."
Politeness, grace, and a dash of table etiquette have the power to make a lasting impression. Imagine, if you will, a romantic dinner transformed into a sideshow spectacle by the sound of soup being slurped like a blender and hands being used as excavation tools. It's no wonder that researchers have identified certain food habits as the biggest pet peeves. In fact, a staggering 68% of people consider talking with your mouth full as the most unforgivable food sin.
#19
If they call me "exotic." If they make repeated remarks on how *BeAuTiFuL* my skin tone is. Even worse when they point out that they've never "been with" anybody of my ethnic heritage.
Or, when they've *only* dated women of ethnicities with a similar appearance to mine. Feels a bit fetishizing.
My “in my head” Voice 2 years ago
How do I tell you I'm racist without telling you I'm racist?
#20
Lying. Even, if not especially, about small things.
Knox Warner 2 years ago
People lie in four basic ways: 1) knowingly giving false information; 2) knowingly withholding relevant information; 3) faking emotions; 4) misleading a targeted audience. Most people lie about seven times a day. It's not just the lie, either, it's also the reason for lying and sometimes even the quality of the lie. They all tell you what the liar actually thinks about you.
Slarty Bartfast 2 years ago
Absolutely! Lying at that stage is the worst red flag because if they have to lie in any way on a first date, you really can't know who you're getting involved with at all. A liar could be any sort of sociopath. Unfortunately you might not realise their lies until further into dating....but when you do, RUN and don't look back!
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 2 years ago
If they're lying on the first date, they will continue to lie. How can you trust someone like that?
kim davies 2 years ago
Lying is a huge red flag for me, even about little things. Don’t lie about your age or your hair colour or where you went to school. Just be honest. Honesty is incredibly sexy. Being vulnerable about yourself and who you are is such a turn on.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
No, many Trump supporters are perfectly sincere. And that's the frightening thing.
Load More Replies...Navigating the treacherous waters of politics, then, is like walking through a minefield on a first date. It's fine to have passionate opinions, but turning your dinner into a heated debate on global policies can be a surefire way to extinguish any romantic sparks. Nothing dampens the mood faster than the sudden realization that your date's political beliefs are on the opposite side of the spectrum, and neither of you is willing to back down. Unless, of course, you have a bizarre fetish for fierce political discussions.
#21
If all they talk about is how bad all their exes are. If all your exes are psycho, the chances are the problem is you.
Nimitz 2 years ago
You run into an a*****e in the morning, you ran into an a*****e. You run into a******s all day, you're the a*****e.
A gay cat man (he/him&Tré/Trè) 2 years ago
if there's an a*****e on your a*s, that's normal
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Richienotsorich 2 years ago
If you keep catching the same poor quality fish, then you're using poor quality bait!
Knox Warner 2 years ago
Some people have unfortunate enough backgrounds so that toxic, destructive partners are the only ones they feel comfortable with. Worse, they don't realize this, so I'd have a tendency to give them a break until I get to know them better and find the truth out for myself.
#22
you know how people joke that buying a dog is just buying a tragedy in 10 years? that's basically how i feel about dating a smoker long-term
Nimitz 2 years ago
I was a smoker but I met an amazing guy who was allergic to smoking. I asked him out in two weeks, he said yes. During our date he asked why it was two weeks later and I told him it was so I could quit smoking. He said that was so hot he immediately asked for a 2nd date. We had an amazing relationship
Seán Hannan 2 years ago
I wish my wife had done that. It's been 18 years and she still smokes... except for about 9 months either side of the birth of our son.
Load More Replies... Suna Amun 2 years ago
As a smoker, I think you should know that it's very well possible that unfortunately I might outlive the person who posted this. It's not a death sentence. Also, you think we like how the smoke smells? No one does, it's like alcohol- it doesn't taste great, but it has an effect. People who smoke pot don't necessarily like the smell of pot either. It's a personal choice, I guess whether you date someone who smokes or not, but the person behind the cigarette isn't affected by being a smoker. They're probably hurt, but nice people who made a mistake they're finding hard to shake, or it's honestly the one thing they feel like they can control in their life that is full of things that need to be done. Not trying to convince anyone of anything, just providing a different perspective.
brandyy17 2 years ago
a few of my exs didnt like that i smoke but said my personality and kind heart was enough for them to ignore it. in the end tho the man i m now married to i met by asking if he had a cigarette bc i was out lol. he also smokes weed but doesnt drink casually while i dont smoke weed but drink casually. as long as he isnt smoking crack or watever or do hard drugs im fine. he told me he never would and then i saw no red flags. 4 years later he proposed and weve been married 3 years.
Load More Replies... Kobe (she) 2 years ago
00 Smoking would be a dealbreaker for me too. Yet, not for this reason. People can get sick from other things as well. Accidents may happen. You may end up even a bigger tragedy in ten years - or what ever time frame - than they (smokers) are. I just don't like to be in the smoke. Neither do I like the smell. And I can think of way better things to spend money on.
Lyenne Summers 2 years ago
For me the problem is not what smoke does to the one that smokes. I couldn't care less about that. It's their choice. It's what it does to those around them that's the problem. I don't fancy dying of lung cancer. I've seen what that does to a person. It's an awfully slow and painful death. Besides anyone who smokes around children or pets should be charged with abuse.
#23
That she doesnt accepts my racoon pet named Stuart
Sue Denham 2 years ago
I don't know you. I don't particularly want to meet you. But I completely and utterly accept your racoon pet named Stuart.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
Dude. Just....dude. A pet racoon would gloss over so many red flags for me. I would be yours the second you said, "my pet racoon".
Mark Bayliss 2 years ago
My issue with this is that finding out that you have a pet Racoon would Cause me to fail as I would break number 23 by declaring my love for you there and then so I would be dumped!!
Danish Susanne 2 years ago (edited)
If she doen't accept the sweet racoon in the picture here, she is definitely not worth knowing.
#24
They talk over me and spend the conversation giving me unsolicited advice about how to live my life
Edit: I feel like I need to specify that I was thinking of one specific first date that did not become a second date When I answered this, lol. The guy didn't like that I had dyed my hair blond at the bottom and Spent a lot of the date telling me about the dangers of bleaching your hair and how I should learn to make better choices. I just wanted to have a good dinner man.
Joshua David 2 years ago
As a stylist, the only danger you are in is if you do diy blond at home. Lots of things can go wrong. Other than that, unless you're allergic there's no problem.
#25
Hygiene, in general
Edit: yes, you guys.. "lack of hygiene"
Depressed Owl 2 years ago
For a second, I thought that Image was someone holding a soapy hairball.
Nimitz 2 years ago (edited)
Also, single men, you may not smell it, but if you use a "lucky sock/shirt" for cleanup and don't wash it weekly, your apartment and clothes smell like cum, and not in a good way. And we can all smell it
BookFanatic 2 years ago
Yep. I don't care if it's "just you in the truck" (long distance trucker) for days at a time. When you're with me, you take a shower and put on some damn deodorant!
Never Snarky 2 years ago
And don't try to cover it by dousing yourself with cologne. It only makes it worse!
#26
Why has no one mentioned “they litter”?
#27
I don't hate people who smoke particularly but my parents smoked so much that I promised myself to never date someone who smoked.
Cathy Jo Baker 2 years ago
I agree! Both of my parents were chain smokers. My dad spent the last 12 years of his life carting oxygen around, and Mom is now having to do so. I want a partner who makes the best choices to be healthy. Sure, there will be conditions he can't control, but those he can... (and thankfully, my fiancé does not smoke)
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
small sample size but I've found that people who smoke nowadays are fantastic in bed, mostly because if you are deliberatly doing something that will kill you, chances are you'll do ANYTHING.
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
That is sensible but also difficult to adhere to. However of the five serious smokers in my family the four are dead.
#28
If a person tells you they are IN LOVE WITH YOU after one day together.
They might try to move into your house, then try to attack you when you ask them to leave!
But that's a story for another time...
John Brazier 2 years ago
Happened to me....I told a woman on the second date that I could see falling in love with her...We have been married for (21) years now..
Nesto 2 years ago
sorry but some people meet someone and know on that day that they will ask that person to marry them, and the other person knows that too. basically, love at first sight exists. if its not what you feel fine but its not a red flag to feel that way
Kobe (she) 2 years ago
Yet, don't tell on the first day. Don't manipulate the other person by sharing feelings too soon. If you know - you know. Waiting a few days or weeks to tell them, is really okay :)
Load More Replies... #29
If they order shots.
I always do brunch as a first date because it places zero expectation on what happens after. So, if you order f*****g shots at 11:30am on a Saturday, we probably aren’t going to work out.
Ivo H 2 years ago
I never though of it, but ordering shots can be a red flag, even during dinner. Beer, wine, cocktails, everyting is completely normal, but ordering shots during date is just weird
Kobe (she) 2 years ago
I am not completely convinced, ordering alcohol on the first date is normal. For me, it would be a red flag if one did - even more, without asking.. Especially, because I don't know them yet. Is he going to be drunk / can he keep measure / how often does this happen / how is he going to go home ? I am not totally against alcohol, yet drink too much and we won't do a second date.
Load More Replies... Chexmy Licks/egg🇯🇵 2 years ago
whats the difference btw? ( i dont drink so idk what shots mean)
HeavyMetalHeart 2 years ago
Shots are small glasses of pure alcohol, pretty strong, usually only drunk by people trying to get really intoxicated. They’re for a wild night out, not a first date.
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Jared Robinson 2 years ago
EVERYBODY SHOTS!!!! but no seriously they are probably an alcoholic.
#30
I know a girl who asks every guy she goes on a date with what his credit score is. She wants to make sure they’re financially stable. Also she’s 23 and doesn’t know how to pump gas.
Russell Rieckenberg 2 years ago
Depends, what's her parents' credit score.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
OMG. One online "match" seemed totally normal. SEEMED being the operative word. We met for a drink at my local. I got there first & ordered a glass of wine. I was good friends with the owner & his partner Kelly, who was behind the bar. Guy comes in & we do the whole, "Hi how are you?" thing. After a few minutes I just get a distinct d*ck vibe from the guy. I asked what he did for a living and he snarked at me, "Why? So you can figure out how much money I make? Maybe I should just show you my bank statement." I was like, "Don't f*cking bother & lose my number." Threw a five on the table for my wine & left. I waited until I saw him leave & went back in. Kelly gave me a glass on the house saying, "That was really painful to witness."
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
I do understand her wish to know if a guy is financially sound, but asking on a first date is bizarre. Does she ever have a second date?
#31
If you smack your lips, or chew with your mouth open it's game over. Not sure I could even make it to the end of dinner.
frederick clause 2 years ago
So anyone from South East Asia is out. That shouldn't be a problem.
Peter Trudell Jr 2 years ago
If you're looking for someone you're compatible with and they have habits that turn you off... then yeah.
Load More Replies... #32
Repeatedly interrupting me when I’m talking, especially when I’m answering a question they asked. It tells me they’re not actually engaged in what I’m saying.
Max Fox 2 years ago (edited)
Look up "collaborative overlap". Very common in the Middle East and East Europe. Nobody ever actually finished what they're saying, but also, they expect you to jump in when you have something to say that is relevant to what they are saying now. It leads to very vibrant and exciting discussions, rather than the stiff and stilted Northern European style "conversations" that they have here in the USA.
MotherofGuineaPigs 2 years ago
I lose thoughts frequently - even in the middle of conversations.. It's not on purpose, I cannot control it. Don't tell me to work on it, it's not that type of issue.
Temporary Dork 2 years ago (edited)
Red flag. All your reasons are about you. EDIT And have my upvote; no reason to cancel a comment for not liking the behaviour described. I'll add that I'll interrupt gaslighters and people telling the same story three times in a row; they're reliving it and it's not healthy.
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#33
their drinking manners. if they insist i drink, or suggest drinks/shots after i've declined multiple times, i'll either think you have a problem, or you're trying to get me drunk. both of which i don't want.
men who insist you come over, or they come over. i'm all about prolonging a good date, and would love to go to another spot, but i really hate when men invite me over to their place, or suggest coming to mine at the end of the night. even worse when they get super pouty when i decline.
#34
Here is a great story, first date in college. I drive a truck and live in a city. So spots are tight. This spot is particularly tight. So I say, “this is a tight spot so watch your door when you open it.” Girl “are you telling me how to open my door??” Doesn’t pay basic attention and slams the door into the other car.
Isabel Care 2 years ago
I get them to exit the vehicle before I pull into the space if there are no disabled spaces, as I have to be able to open my door fully to get out
#35
"Ah, women and their...."
#36
Guys who make you feel bad about not going home with them. I was really excited to go out with this one guy, had excitement/jitters all day because we had initially hit it off super well, and then the date came around, but I decided not to go home with him *because I liked him* and wanted to prolong the courting stage a bit longer. Not even 30 seconds after I drove away he sent me "🙃" When I asked him why, he started pushing me to turn around and come over to his place. Noped the f**k outta that one real quick.
Dustin Alcaraz 2 years ago
what is upside down smiley face mean to you? asking for a friend...
#38
Referring to going to the restroom as "going make tinkles", I wanted to leave on the spot.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
I'd prefer this over "I gotta go take a massive p**s out my sweaty vagina" Yes that is a real thing a woman said to me. She thought that all men found being rude and vulgar hilarious, and I most assuredly do not.
The Other Guest 2 years ago
She wasn't just vulgar, she was wrong. People with vaginas do not urinate out of them.
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#39
I've seen "being rude to wait staff" a dozen times in here.
Are that many people rude to waiters?
TotallyNOTaFox 2 years ago
Working in customer service turns people into misanthropes for a reason
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I live in America… they definitely are. I see it all the time. If I see someone being rude to my server, I go out of my way to be extra nice to them because I’m so embarrassed by other people’s behavior 🤦🏻♀️
Dustin Alcaraz 2 years ago
this is a comment not a post? "first date deal breakers, People who don't know what's going on around them." How about that.
Nizumi 2 years ago
Honestly depends on the situation. I'm going to assume most of these complaints are for when the staff are obviously really busy; but for me, if the place *isn't* busy and you can't be bothered to come take our order despite our looking towards the staff area several times, bring water, just swing by and check if the food's OK, make us wait 10 minutes after we're obviously done and again looking around for staff in an obvious fashion, before you clear away the entree dishes and ask if we want dessert... I will be making passive aggressive comments while I wait. I won't be rude to your face, but my request will come out more like a demand and your tip has just dropped to the base minimum of 15%.
#40
One of my best friends casually began to date one of my ex girlfriend’s friends. He was really starting to like her and took her out on consistent dates, a few sleep overs, etc. My ex girlfriend told me this girl was texting her about her date with my friend later that night. My ex asked her if she was into him as much as he was, her. Her literal response was “no, but free food is free food.” I was hurt for him. Devastated. I didn’t want him to feel what I felt and I wasn’t even the one dating her. I took my friend (roommate at the time also) aside that afternoon and asked him to please delete her number and never talk to her again. I didn’t say why. I just asked him to trust me and to please stop seeing her. It’s for the honest best. Knowing me for years & years, he politely accepted my request and deleted her, without question. He knew I knew something and understood I was helping him avoid emotional pain & disappointment. He is too nice of an individual to experience that.. Trust goes a long way.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
I don't get why you wouldn't tell them why. Does it really avoid pain?
TomCat 2 years ago
I think in this case, yes. It's such a baseless thing to do to someone and personally if I found out that's the reason someone was seeing me, it was cause a lot of pain.
Load More Replies... Amy Taylor 2 years ago
My cousin is single and a really sweet guy… he goes on a lot of Tinder dates looking for “the one” when he tells me about them I get a strong vibe that a lot of them are in it for the free meals. He takes them out on nice dates then they ghost him. I actually ran into him while out with my husband on one of his dates and we both got the vibe the girl was one of those types. She ordered 2 mains and wanted to take one home 😆
#41
I was on a double date with this one girl. She seemed really cool and I was having fun on the date. Then she stuck her pinky in her ear to scratch and pulled out some ear wax. That was a little gross. But then she ate the ear wax. I decided right then to not go on a second date.
Mojavedog 2 years ago
How could one have so much earwax that they could pull enough out to eat!!! That is so incredibly disgusting. The eating part, that is. I had a classmate in 2nd grade that would pick her nose and eat her boogers in front of everyone like that was normal behavior.
#42
I've shared this recently, but one time I was out on a first date with this girl I met online. I thought she was very attractive and we seem to hit off well through texts. We're at this bar and she suggests we play a people watching game where we try to make up back stories for the other people there. I thought it sounded fun, especially since I played a similar game with friends on the train sometimes. Plus it felt like a good ice breaker to get us talking. Well, she managed to take all the fun out the game by being ridiculously cruel in all her assumptions for no real reason at all. It felt like she was projecting issues she had onto these people. Like one guy was sitting at the bar alone, could have been waiting for someone, you never know, but because he was alone he was a f*****g loser with no friends that hates his life. Completely killed the mood and I lost interest in her after that. Couldn't see myself going on a second date with someone like that.
#43
Getting so drunk on the first date that you can't figure out Uber and I have to drive you home. No, you can't stay on my couch, I don't know you.
Niki A 2 years ago
My son's father did this. He got so nervous he kept drinking and drinking. Luckily we were not out in public, but his best friend was with us. Now I know he has a drinking problem, but at the time it was actually a little funny.
River wolf 2 years ago (edited)
So… you have a drinking problem, or does your husband/boyfriend/ex?
Load More Replies... #44
Self-deprecating to the point where everything needs to be somehow connected in a negative way back to yourself. Like literally everything. While chatting it's even more obvious, sad faces all the time, "I'm dumb", "I don't deserve what I've achieved" etc.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I understand that people can have self-esteem issues, but on a first date?
#45
Someone who doesn’t ask about me. It shows that they don’t actually care.
#46
* Poor personal hygiene, or any other lack of basic self respect. * Disrespectful to service workers (waitstaff, janitors, etc...) * Harsh generalizations about different races/genders/nationalities/etc without verifiable evidence to back them up. * Seems constantly annoyed or angry over little things. * Victim mentality, or any other sense of entitlement. EDIT TO ADD: Most of us who've been around a while might have that ONE "crazy ex," but if someone claims that most or all of their exes were "crazy" then that's your cue to run far the f**k away and never call back. THAT PERSON was the crazy one, nobody's luck is actually THAT BAD.
JenniB 2 years ago
My cousin had three ex's, all in long term relationships/engaged/married within 1-2 years after their breakup with her. She insisted they were all horrible crazy people. When another family member suggested maybe she was the problem they were cut out of her life - permanently...
#47
Being more that 30 mins late - With or without an excuse. If you're going to be that late, you might just aswell cancel
#48
Someone who makes me read their bad poetry. This has happened to me more than once...
I don’t hate poetry, I very much like it. Especially Vogon poetry. However, on a first date, there is a HUGE difference between; “Have you read this poem by x? What do you think of this bit...” and “Here is my notebook, read it all and tell me what you think.”
Story bits for those who asked:
The first time this happened I was 18 and we met through mutual friends. While it wasn’t great, it wasn’t emo angsty levels of bad. Unfortunately he then started sending me poetry he had written about me and calling me his muse. This after having met once. He then went full stalker. So yeah... nope.
Second time was some years later. It was bad, but I was not mean about it. We continued chatting then said goodnight politely and parted.
The next day he went from “I had a really nice time, give me a call.” To, “I am sure you are busy, but please reply.” To, “Clearly you are ignoring me so let’s never speak again” in the space of a 3 hour barrage of text messages. I was at work so I didn’t see the messages till lunchtime.
#49
Dirty clothes. Not showered. Dirty car. Loud booming voice so everyone can hear your conversation. Bad tipper. Being rude to servers
#51
I was once set up to go on a blind date with this girl. We were given each other's email addresses and so I hit her up, we exchanged a few pleasantries, then set up a date/time to finally meet. The day of, I get an email from her in the morning with an attachment. I open up the attachment and there is a questionnaire with like 25-30 questions on it. She requested I kindly fill out the questionnaire before we meet. I quickly reviewed the questions before sending her a reply saying that it's probably best we don't meet.
I don't know what characteristic she embodied, but I'd say that was a deal breaker.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I believe the characteristic you're trying to identify might be "controlling".
#52
reminding me of my dad. I love my dad, honestly, but I don't want to date him :D
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I really depends what reminds you of her dad. I dated a woman who enjoyed the fact that her dad and I had similar senses of humor. We did, and it was no problem.
Nimitz 2 years ago
Gender's not specified. As a gay man, it is 100% nope if he reminds me of my father. It can be an irritatingly common for us
Load More Replies... tabithapaquette98 2 years ago
I totally understand. I loved my dad a lot (he died 8 years ago). We was a good dad, but I would never want to be married to him (or a man like him).
#53
As a straight man the main deal breaker for me is when they are also a man
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
Yeah, I'm straight too, but if Tom Hardy asks me on a date, I'm going to at least see where it goes, lol.
Xenon 2 years ago
I think it's kind of cutely amusing. And Padma Lakshmi for me.
Load More Replies... #54
Bragging. Even worse if it's over the smallest things. A guy I was interested in kept texting me these (fake) brags about things that dont even matter e.g having a pet lizard that he brought home from his holidays??. He also was a big fan of his own eyes? They were blue, but nothing out of the ordinary. He'd send photos saying they were unique and blue/grey and pretty. IMMEDIATE turnoff EDIT: people werent getting the lizard thing. He did not have a pet lizard, I managed to get as far as being in his room at a party (a few days after saying he had the "pet lizard") and he was bragging that he managed to capture one whilst on holiday in Spain and bringing it home on the plane and keeping it. Which he did not.
#55
Asking me zero questions about myself while talking incessantly about themselves. It's alarming how many dudes do this. Why bother going on a date with another human if all you want is to hear yourself talk?!
#56
One-upping Edit: When I lived in the Midwest it was literally just part of the culture. Telling stories and being one-upped was something you were desensitized to. I ran into a wall once I moved west where people pointed out that I did it, so I stopped. Now when I go on dates I usually get into things people are passionate about. If it’s all about one-upping experiences then it’s goals and meaning based on other people. Big turn off. There are a lot of people my age that are essentially living at a speed like Justin from Parks and Rec and it’s a shame. I learned and appreciated so much more slowing down and being present for things alone. The Midwest is also rampant with superlatives. “It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen” “Scariest thing that’s ever happened to me” Really? Having your online banking freeze with the wrong balance on it was the scariest thing that’s EVER happened to you? F**k off Don’t one up on dates. Hearing how your trip to Cali for Coachella was the best experience of your life and how Diplo was the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen is not what I want to hear when I ask about your future at Purdue studying liberal arts
#57
Unidirectional people. Only talks about work. Only knows about sports. Only cares about travelling. Get a mix. Edit: If you talk about travelling, sports and your job with passion it's definitely not a deal breaker. I'm talking about someone who can only do one of the three, not all 3 combined. Sorry maybe it came out wrong.
#58
The type of guy who needs to flirt with the waitress or just be heavy
Fluffypanda 2 years ago
When I hear "heavy" to describe a personality I think of Marty McFly using it to describe an intense something. "Whoa that's heavy" but this person could also just be fatphobic.
#59
Treating service people poorly. You're rude or dismissive to a waiter or barperson, yeah, it's over before it's started - I know the kind of person you are.
3 pandas in a trench coat 2 years ago
Or when they snap their fingers to get the waiter’s attention. 😠
#60
If they're going out with me, that's the deal breaker right there. Shows severe lack of judgement on their part.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 2 years ago
"I would never want to be part of a club that would have me as a member"
#61
I went on a date with a girl, this date was a disaster. She got food in her hair and all over the place, she wouldn’t get off her phone, and she stabbed herself in the cheek with her fork because she wasn’t paying attention. I’ve never seen her since
Karen Lyon 2 years ago
Wow. I have made snarky comments about people being so dense they make me wonder if they could use a fork without hurtting themselves, but I never thought it could be literally true. Yikes.
#62
Being too shy. I get it you're nervous going out with a guy you like, and I'm just as nervous going out with a girl I like. But when you barely say a word to me, and your body language is all tense the whole time we're out sends some bad signals. It makes me more nervous because I cant think of what's making you so uncomfortable, and now I'm panicking that you may not want to see me again. So ladies, please just try to relax. We're s******g bricks too
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Not easy to do if you have anxiety. I get it would seem like they don't feel comfortable, but if that is the only thing that is turning you off, I would hope you gave it another try at least once, when they might be more relaxed.
Xenon 2 years ago
Agreed. Try a less face to face intensive date like a park or a movie. Sitting across from someone over dinner that you want to make a good impression on is very anxiety inducing for some people.
Load More Replies... #63
Had a first date with a guy from tinder. He wanted to play the “what celebrity do people say you look like?” Game. He told me, “Daniel Craig.” Uh no. Then I replied, “yea some people have told me Katy Perry but I don’t think so.” He said, “No! You know who you look like...BEN AFFLECK!!!” I’m a woman btw. Needless to say, there was no second date.
#64
Eating with their hands. I knew a girl once who would eat foods like spaghetti and fish with her hands, and if I were to go on a date with someone similar, I would end it as soon as possible. Have you ever seen someone, a grown adult, eat spaghetti with their hands??? It's disgusting!
Aqsa Azam 2 years ago
Lmao, we eat our meals with our hands! But I don't know about spaghetti.
Nezuko_chan 2 years ago
Sometimes I use my hands to eat somethings but never spaghetti or fish
#65
Lack of trying. If I see the person is poorly dressed or chose a s****y place, I know they're putting the least effort possible. That tells me all I need to know.
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago (edited)
I get that, but come on. At least take me to Chili's instead of Waffle House when you are in your pajama pants.😉
Load More Replies... #66
Telling them you only wanted to date them because you recognize them from their GW posts.
Wintermute 2 years ago
A reddit page called Gone Wild where people can post R rated photos of themselves. Kind of like diet porn.
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#67
Mouth-breathers... or when they constantly have that foaming piece of saliva at the corners of their mouths.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
That seems a bit harsh. They may have problems with their sinus' in which case they have to breathe through their mouth. This then would cause that saliva build up because their mouth is dry.
#68
Fake laughs.
#69
Honestly when the girl has a bigger dong than me, that's a real turn off.
SerumSeven 2 years ago
When her eyes say senorita, but her body says caballero...which is generally fine, except nobody really likes a jack-in-the-box.
#70
Obesity
What do you think ?
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