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If there’s one thing in this life that we should all understand, it’s ourselves. If you have a question about your health, a doctor should be able to clear that up for you. And if you’re struggling with your mental health, a psychologist might be able to help you make sense of everything going on in your mind. But for some reason, the female body continues to confuse many people, even some medical professionals.
Because their bodies are often shrouded in mystery, women have been opening up on Reddit about the information they wish they learned as teenagers. From assurances that certain things are perfectly normal to warnings of when to seek medical attention, this advice might be able to help many young girls. So enjoy scrolling through, whether you’re a woman or just want to understand the women in your life better, and be sure to upvote the info that you wish you had heard sooner!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Pain is not normal.
SignalAssistant2965:
OMG that's a big one! I so much wish women's pain wouldn't be so often dismissed as "normal" and just a "part of what it means to be a woman".
RELATED:
#2
Pretty much everyone has stretch marks and cellulite.
coddswaddle:
Even very skinny people.
Auntriarch 9 hours ago
One of my boyfriends had stretch marks. He just grew faster than his skin, 6'4" at 12 years old
#3
That the women playing high schoolers in movies are in their 20s and that you shouldn’t compare yourselves to them when you’re a teen.
#4
It’s okay to have body hair. Having body hair, anywhere on the body, doesn’t make you any less of a woman.
No_Foundation7308:
It's also okay to pluck or not if you choose to. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about it one way or the other.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 22 hours ago
It is amazing how many men say they like "natural" women but are then disgusted by body hair.
#5
Not about bodies specifically, more so about periods. Teens; it is okay if your pad or tampon wrapper makes a noise in the bathroom! Don’t feel ashamed about your period, you don’t need to hide them or feel dirty.
Huddo's sister 17 hours ago
I remember my mum providing paper bags for us to put pads in before binning, which my sister appreciated, but I couldn't help thinking it was sad having to cover them more than just with toilet paper in case other people saw them. Like, it's a bin, of course there will be 'gross' stuff in there. I was the last of my friends (actually I think my whole year level) to get my period and had heard a lot from them, read a lot and talked openly to my mum about everything for years before I needed to use the knowledge, so I always felt well informed and unashamed of it. This was very different to most of my peers. I was the one who informed my best friend and her older sister, who weren't allowed to use tampons, that it doesn't 'take' your virginity and also you can pee with one in because it's a separate orifice.
#6
How long perimenopause lasts. I assumed your periods just stopped like a car running out of gas.
Commonfckingsense:
I genuinely still thought this until your comment, so thank you for educating me today.
Fantastic_Fig_8559:
Mine has changed me. I don’t feel like me anymore. All I thought was I might have some hot flashes and my periods would stop. It’s literally been eight years of hell so far. Every day a new ailment.
#7
That it's not studied properly, so don't trust doctors much. They have professional blindness here.
Grizzlyfrontignac:
The book "invisible women" by Caroline Criado-Perez HUGELY opened my eyes to this. I wish it was just doctors, but much pain and suffering by women has been ignored by professionals of all kinds simply because our issues aren't exactly like those of men. And we're just left there to accept it! It's crazy.
LilliVB 20 hours ago (edited)
Not just this. All medical procedures and medicaments that are for both sexes (so nothing related to your reproductive system) were/are mainly tested on men and therefore developed for men. Doses, collateral effects and so on. But due to the hormonal differences they actually don't work exactly in the same way for men and women. Therefore women are subjected to higher risks due to lack of proper testing for their own séx. EDIT: typo
#8
That many men think it exists solely for their use at their whim, and will start preying on you when you're an eleven year old child.
#9
That not having a completely flat tummy is 100% normal and that exercise (weight lifting specifically) is much more important for us than we think (beyond esthetics).
#10
That it’s not normal if you’re in severe pain every time you have your period. That it isn’t “normal” to barely function when you have your period.
That if you’re dealing with such pain and heavy bleeding, there’s a decent likelihood you have endometriosis (or a similar condition like PCOS)
That one in ten have endometriosis. That one in three miscarry.
That none of these things make you weird or less valuable or less of a woman. That you’re not alone.
Lavender Myst 21 hours ago (edited)
Not only is it hard enough for women to be seen and taken seriously about this, but it can take years if not decades to get diagnosed, and worse when they are misdiagnosed. Even worse is thst after a women gives birth, if they are even able to conceve with these issues the uterus can heal itself as it shrinks back down but create new problems. Even worse, it may not fix itself and at the same time create another issue. Some you may not have even heard of, like Adenomyosis.(sp)
#11
That bodies come in all sizes and with lots of different anatomy options for all body parts. And that you can't be blamed for how your body looks.
patricia patricia 9 hours ago
Even if you can be "blamed" fir how your body looks (if you could exercise more, or eat less for example) it's nobody else's business. The person could have an illness, or they may just feel ok, or for whatever reason they can't solve it. Keep your judgement and opinions to yourself. Just shut up.
#12
All the damage pregnancy can do to your body. And that there are things you can do to prevent or minimize it.
KC Lancaster 21 hours ago
And don't believe movies or TV shows on how easy it's supposed to be!
#13
The slime your [lady bits] produce is normal. The bleaching of dark underwear is normal. I had to learn this from Mama Doctor Jones.
WindySwede 15 hours ago (edited)
An post about female bodies, and you censor V****A? 😶 V a g i n a. (You didn't censor that before!)
#14
That being skinny isn’t always safe. I don’t mean being obese is what we should aim for, but starving myself and doing more to maintain a small size was more harmful than healthy.
That no matter how skinny you are, your body has very specific markers of change that generally come around approximately each decade due to hormonal changes, and that’s okay.
That stretch marks are okay and sometimes come because of growth spurts.
So much… so, SO much.
I was raised in the 80s and 90s, when women were judged very harshly. I wish we were kinder to girls and women back then.
Eleven Seventy Seven 20 hours ago
I have hated and been ashamed of my body since I was a child. I was always about 20 pounds heavier than the average weight a girl should be until I hit puberty, and then I gained about 40 pounds in a year. My mum watched my food intake, I exercised, but I just kept gaining weight. She never made me feel bad about my weight (she was 110 lbs), but everywhere I turned, I was bombarded with images of what I should look like. I am 48 and still hate my body and feel shame every single day. How I wish we lived in a society that focused on who you are and not what you look like.
#15
That the strength, vitality and health I was enjoying then would fade and I should have appreciated it as the gift it was.
That my concerns over being too flat chested, having too pointy a nose, or being too “much” were someone else’s insecurities being projected onto me.
That every photo in every magazine depicting perfect hair, flawless skin, and long legs was retouched…a lie being told to convince me I was “less than” just to sell me something.
Auntriarch 9 hours ago
I was shocked to see how much they change the photo of a model for a magazine. I mean I was expecting a bit of primping, but it was a proper eye opener
#16
That you’ll still sometimes have period accidents and bleed through your pants even as an adult.
Stardust she/her 17 hours ago
I got shamed a lot for starting my period in the middle of the night. The bedsheets looked like a m****r had taken place, so much blood.
#17
Women bodies are not suppose to look like the super models.
Zig Zag Wanderer 18 hours ago (edited)
🔼🔼This 🔼🔼 I used to have a 'body type' that I was attracted to. I had the amazing fortune to fall in love with a, shall we say, more generously proportioned woman than I was normally physically attracted to. I now understand that physical attraction is almost completely irrelevant, and I'm amazed at how important I used to believe it was. We're all different. The 'right' one won't look like you expect them too, anyway!
#18
Aim for looking like/feeling like the best version of yourself, rather than trying to attain the looks of someone else.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 11 hours ago
And you can guarantee that 30 years later you’ll look at old photos of yourself and wonder why you thought you were too fat/too thin etc when you actually looked great!
#19
You will look like 7 different people in the span of one month because of your hormones and it’s okay if you don’t always love what you see. It is temporary.
#20
That sometimes “mental health symptoms” are actually hormonal disorders. I was almost convinced I was bipolar until my OBGYN diagnosed me with PMDD and I got on a birth control that regulated my progesterone. It was like an instant fix.
KC Lancaster 21 hours ago
PCOS (Polycystic ovary syndrome) is considered a common hormonal disorder that can affect any woman of reproductive age. It can not only play havoc with your mentality, but your body in many ways. It's one of the reasons I was in so much pain each time I had my period from when I was 11 until I was diagnosed with that and endometriosis in my 40's.
#21
That your downstairs looks perfectly normal. It's organic and supposed to be what it is. Love yourself.
Andrew Keir 3 hours ago
Your junk is functional. It was never intended to be pretty, it's not for seeing. Nobody else is entitled to even have an opinion about it. So relax and just ...be you.
#22
That having a little belly pooch is totally normal because of the reproductive organs being in the way.
I just thought I was always fat, even when I weighed 110lbs.
#23
That nothing is 'supposed' to look one certain way. Variety is normal and makes us unique.
Andrew Keir 3 hours ago
I'll say it again - your junk is for procreating, not for showing, and definitely it's not 'beautiful'. Separate these ideas *now*. And may Cthulhu take all those who encourage (or even enable) 'beauty' contests. They're sick - and not in a good way ...
#24
Female pleasure. I had no idea until I was in college.
Andrew Keir 3 hours ago
That's part of what college / University is *for*. This can't be taught, it's different for each individual, we have to find out for ourselves, by trying things. In that way it's like learning which foods we like..
#25
I wish someone would have told me how drastically having a baby would change my whole body, shape, size, all of it. My feet even grew a whole half size. And I have not been back there since.
Huddo's sister 17 hours ago (edited)
My feet got wider even before I got pregnant. Currently wearing shoes with a hole in them to work because I can't find any others that fit. Lengthwise I'm a size 5, width wise I was a 7, now 7.5-8 and I'm only first trimester. Considering learning to make my own, but that's one craft I don't think I'd do well with.
#26
That your [chest] will change shape, size, consistancy/texture, and sag several times throughout your life.
Right before I turned 30, they just completely changed and I had no idea what was happening.
Child of the Stars 20 hours ago
That's why it's so so important to do the self breast exam. Every breast is different (even on the same woman; your left can vary significantly from your right). You need to know which lumps and bumps your normal breast tissue has so you know when it abnormal. And teach your daughters as soon as the tissue starts growing. The earlier the habit forms, the better.
#27
That your body shape will change drastically in perimenopause, regardless of dietary habits.
wowbagger 8 hours ago
It's been a weird feeling for me -- like my body is just doing what it's going to do, and I have no say in it. My weight has stayed the same, but the distribution is completely different. My clothing size has changed, and my old reliable clothing brands no longer fit. I've had to look at other brands that are cut for the middle aged body.
#28
Sounds obvious but… your body is going to go through a lot of changes. Try to love yourself through every part of it, care for yourself as best as you can, and allow grace. It’s ok if you’re not the size you were a decade ago.
#29
If your doctor tells you it’s “just anxiety” or “normal pain” get a second opinion. i ended up with chronic back pain from not pushing back on this conclusion.
#30
HORMONE 👏 CHANGES 👏 HAPPEN 👏 IN 👏 YOUR 👏 THIRTIES 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏.
#31
You need to eat. You are gonna have people equate your worth with your weight.
You need to give your body nutrients, and you need to eat protein and fruit. It doesn't matter if it's fashionable to be super thin, or be on ozempic, or take stackers and phenphen, or barf up lunch, or cut calories to nothing, or be a smol girl or mpdg.
Men-- boyfriends, alpha males, fathers, husbands, pastors, influencers, fashion designers are trying to make you starve yourself so you are not nourishing your brain enough to detect their manipulation of you.
Companies are trying to instill in you a dissatisfaction with your body that makes you consume, consume, consume.
You are okay. Your human body deserves nourishment. You are dulling your sharpness, your vitality, your mind.
If your mind is screaming to Get Away, whatever your Get Away is, start working on your plan to Get Away. You got this.
KC Lancaster 20 hours ago
Your brain can be your best friend! Teach it critical thinking and make sure it's fed well!
#32
Queefing is totally normal, if air goes in, air will come out. My first boyfriend told me to “never do that again”, that stuck with me for a looooong time and I was always so embarrassed when it’d happen.
Zig Zag Wanderer 17 hours ago
“never do that again” what an absolute jerk. The irony is that he probably caused it!
#33
To start strengthening your pelvic floors - not wait to be pregnant to be told that.
pineapple87 13 hours ago
I always thought incontinence was something only women who had given birth dealt with. Until at 37 (and child free) sneezing and puking among other things started causing it
#34
The 4 phases of the menstrual cycle and how it affects your mood, appetite, and even appearance. Being in tune with the phases of my cycles has helped me live a better life.
Andrew Keir 3 hours ago
The more you can learn about your body, the better it will be to live there.
#35
I went to a Catholic school and leaned about women’s anatomy there. It wasn’t until I was in my early 20’s that I realized that there are two separate openings in the vulva.
I’m a woman.
#36
Labia comes in different sizes. I seriously thought something was wrong with me because mine were/are large.
#37
You’re only supposed to lose about 5-80 ml of blood during your period! Having to dump out your menstrual cup multiple times a day is WAY too much! (I turned out to have endometriosis and bleed triple the usual amount.).
Rali Meyer 9 hours ago
perhaps place a tampon into colored liquid of a know amount and get a sense of how much it absorbs. 40 ml is a double shot of whisky - but better use tea ;-)
#38
Rather the opposite: I wish they **hadn't** called all those actresses and singers 'fat' (90s-00s).
Norfolk and good 18 hours ago
Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones's Diary and Martine McCutcheon in Love Actually. 🙄
#39
That our hormones are constantly changing. I was taught that we all go through puberty and then that’s it until we hit menopause. My acne was horrific as a teen and everyone promised me it would stop and here I am at 35 with acne still and new hormonal changes.
#40
I wish someone just had the talk with me. I come from a traditional South Asian family and had NO IDEA WHAT A PERIOD WAS. It's called bamari which translates into the sickness.
I was handed the biggest pad by my grandma and was told to wear them and stay away from boys. Puberty was the worst time of my life and I wish someone just had a conversation with me 😆.
Stardust she/her 17 hours ago
Oof, I come from the same country or region as OP and attitudes regarding periods are still so backwards that a lot of girls especially in rural areas start skipping school once they start their periods due to shame. Guys are also very uneducated, a few years back there was a case where a married guy k****d his sister because he thought she did something with someone as her bedsheets were stained and didn’t know that she’d had her period
#42
How many changes your body will go through and how most of them are entirely unacceptable to society at large.
Andrew Keir 1 hour ago
And 'society at large' can just do one ... Your body, your choices. Your doctor has the training to comment and advise on your living habits, but pretty well everyone else doesn't know a d**n thing about what is good for you.
#43
Understand the effects of birth control do research find what’s right for you and do general check ups.
#44
That guys love the wobbly bits so stop stressing about it.
Detroit Citizen 8 hours ago
Yes we do. I personally like the little tummy. It looks natural. I also like when women dont stand on idk, ceremony and not eat. Like for real? Eat. Please eat. A healthy appetites is s**y. If you accidentally burp, its cute. If you do it on purpose, well, we are gonna have a burp war lol. And yes, i know women fart, ohhh big shock, theyre bodies are doing body things lol.
#45
It's OK to struggle with weight loss and gain. All women's bodies are different yet beautiful.
#46
It is normal to have:
Hip dips.
A "trail" of slightly darker hair on your lower abdomen
Issues with lifting/moving heavy things.
A softer frame than men. This "my thigh is bigger than my boyfriend's" thing is absolutely normal and common.
Ugh, this caused me so much stress in my teens.
wowbagger 8 hours ago
Well, everybody has trouble moving "heavy" things -- heavy is relative to the person. What's important is not to buy into the idea that women are naturally "weak" or have soft muscles. Strength training is very important for all humans, and we need to challenge our muscles regularly. When I was a kid, I was told that sweating and any kind of muscle definition was unfeminine. What a load of c**p.
#47
Weight fluctuation is NORMAL. I’m 30 and I’ve had an ebb and flow of 15-20 pounds throughout the year, even with a healthy lifestyle and active lifestyle. My mom still to this day comments on my weight loss (if that’s the phase I’m in) when I go home, and I’m working through it in therapy. I feel the need to be the most slim when I see my mom, so I restrict and become obsessive weeks before a planned trip home.
Andrew Keir 1 hour ago
I'm sorry for the effect this must be having on your relationship with your mother. I'm also sorry that she's putting you through this ...
#49
It's normal and healthy to be "soft", women need to have some body fat to be healthy, our bodies aren't supposed to be shredded and "firm" like the magazines used to sell when I was a teen. I have been dieting since I was 9, developed eating disorders and hated my soft belly even when I was underweight, I always thought I should lose weight untill it was "firm". Knowing it's normal and healthy to have body fat helps me to accept my softness as a part of being a woman and even more feminine because of that (I am still mortified by the idea of putting on weight but things are getting better).
Blue Bunny of Happiness 11 hours ago
I love a bloke with a bit of squishiness. I always feel if I threw myself at a bodybuilder type bloke, I’d impure myself bouncing off his muscles.
#50
Somewhat related but if you go on the Hormonal Pill Progestrone your period could be horrendous and you give birth/pass something called a Dicidual Cast (Google it at your own risk) when it happened to me I was in the worst pain and on the toilet passed something I thought I was dying and had cancer. What else was I to think!!! Then you go to the Drs and they say oh yeah thats a very rare side affect. Why is it not on the flipping leaflet!!!!!!!
Thanks school and thank you Drs.
pineapple87 13 hours ago
It's interesting how progesterone pills have such vast differences in how they impact you. I know some women who have experiences like this or they were just constantly on their period whereas for me, my period stopped completely with them and I'm loving it.
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Asri 21 hours ago
One to add; if your gynecological exam is uncomfortable, get a new doctor. They aren't fun, but there's no reason they should hurt.
AlithenewMC 19 hours ago
There are conditions that can make it hurt, like vaginismus, regardless of the dr. But a good dr will give you something to help relax the muscles/ease the pain and anxiety. My dr sends me a script for a single dose of ativan a couple days before my exams, so I can take it 20mins beforehand. It does mean I have to have my husband drive me, though.
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PenguinEmp 20 hours ago
Can we add a list for men as well? There are things people should have told boys way sooner too.
Asri 21 hours ago
One to add; if your gynecological exam is uncomfortable, get a new doctor. They aren't fun, but there's no reason they should hurt.
AlithenewMC 19 hours ago
There are conditions that can make it hurt, like vaginismus, regardless of the dr. But a good dr will give you something to help relax the muscles/ease the pain and anxiety. My dr sends me a script for a single dose of ativan a couple days before my exams, so I can take it 20mins beforehand. It does mean I have to have my husband drive me, though.
Load More Replies... PenguinEmp 20 hours ago
Can we add a list for men as well? There are things people should have told boys way sooner too.
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