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Here Are 38 Of The Dumbest And Craziest Things Dads-To-Be Ever Did While Expecting A Baby
Pregnancy and childbirth are almost always associated with considerable stress for the mother-to-be, and this is entirely reasonable. The internet is full of stories about pregnant ladies' various hilarious whims regarding food and whatnot - but their husbands, in fact, sometimes aren't any less weird.
Still don't believe me? Then please feel free to just read this collection of stories about the various strange things men did while their partners were pregnant or in labor, made specially for you by Bored Panda!
More info: Reddit
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
About three weeks before my son's due date my wife got the nesting urge really hard. She knew she was being a little unreasonable but she was really stressed about it, so I complied to help her feel better.
So all weekend I was doing every last thing, getting the nursery ready, re-arranging furniture for better flow with a crawling baby, and finally hanging two ceiling fans. Anyone who has hung ceiling fans knows that while one person can theoretically do it, you really need two people. Well I did them both by myself.
With both of them hung I had to tap out. I was totally out of gas, and thankfully my wife said that was ok. She was pissed I wanted to stop, but understood.
Then this pain that I had in my stomach area kinda got worse. Like it started as a cramp and then all of a sudden its the worse pain imaginable. Like I can't breath from the pain in my sides and stomach, and there is no body position that makes it better.
So I go the hospital. After 5 hours in the ER they tell me it could be a bunch of stuff, but they don't run the imaging lab on Sunday nights at 11pm. So I go home with a mitt full of d***s and an appointment for an ultrasound the next day.
The next morning the area is really sore and I have two attacks within an hour of being awake, so I decide to not go to work and keep my ultrasound appointment. My wife coincidentally had an appointment at the hospital related to her pregnancy.
At 1pm, I'm messaging her because they've just told me I need my appendix removed because its about to burst.
My wife found me and said that her tests showed a rare condition that means she'll need an emergency C-Section.
So we cried from the stress, and she went home to get ready for her surgery the next day.
I had my appendix removed at 8pm that night, and my wife had a c-section at 8am the next day. Thankfully I was only two floors away, so I was able to walk down there and be there for my son's birth.
Not how we wanted to start parenthood, but we all made it and we're doing great.
Serena Myers 1 month ago (edited)
Not pregnancy related, but husband was in hospital for heart surgery, and my appendix decided it needed to be removed on the same day. Darling mil told me I did it on purpose just for attention! RIP Doreen. I'm sorry, I didn't make it clear, she was joking, not being nasty. My fault, again.
RELATED:
#2
I was working out like crazy and dropped to 159lbs. My 8 month pregnant wife had just weighed in at 160lbs. I said “hey, you weigh more than me!”
Go directly to doghouse. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200..
#3
Apparently eating fried chicken while your wife is giving birth is frowned upon...I hadn't eaten in like 24 hours, and I am not squeamish. Doctor was not impressed, so I threw it out promptly. Baby is born, all checks done, and the wife is doing good....she turns to me and says, you should go get some more chicken, I know you are still hungry. One of the many reasons I love that woman.
A few years ago, a thread appeared on AskReddit asking, "Fathers, what are some dumb things you have done while your wife was pregnant?" Interestingly, the topic starter addressed to men, but among the nearly thousand comments in the thread, there are many stories told by women.
Perhaps some dads were ashamed or afraid to open up about some weird or even gross deeds, or perhaps they were simply acting on a subconscious level - but the fact remains. Of the nearly forty stories in our selection today, almost half are told by moms. However, that doesn't make the list any less interesting to read, just believe me.
#4
It was right after she gave birth, not while she was pregnant. She was complaining about the boy feeding non-stop, and mentioned that he made her feel like a cow. That was when I learned 'Mooooooo' was not an appropriate response to that situation.
#5
When my Dad is nervous he throws up. The bigger the stress the worse the vomiting. So my Mums doctor said I needed to be induced. Dad threw up in the doctors office. Mum was admitted into hospital, Dad threw up driving her there and while she was being checked in. The pushing starts, Dads in scrubs, mask and a hat, throwing up in the background.
I get stuck, two doctors and a team of staff are trying to get me out. Dad alternates vomiting aggressively in a bucket and stroking my Mums hair.
I pop out, I'm alive and fine. I'm put in my Dad's arms as they work on my Mum. My Dad throws up on me.
My Dad threw up on me at my birth.
#6
I think I was about 8 months pregnant and after many atemps at rolling over in bed I finally managed it.
My husband laughs to himself and announces "thar she rolls.".
Giraffe Sitter 1 month ago
Need an update from, hubby on his experiences sleeping in the garage.
In fact, men also experience stress when their partners give birth - though, of course, it's impossible to compare the level of distress. But the fact remains - and that's definitely true. At the very least, every man understands that, no matter how prepared he is to take responsibility for his family, little actually depends on him here.
So it's no surprise that even the most rational, cool-headed, and calm men, with nerves forged from beryllium bronze, begin to fuss at the most crucial moment, making illogical decisions and strange remarks. Life simply didn't prepare them for this - and yes, partners’ second and further pregnancies and births usually become more routine for them.
#7
I asked my husband to get me some cocoa butter for my stretch marks.
An hour later he calls me and says, “I’ve looked in the candy section AND the dairy section. I cannot find the cocoa butter!” He sounded frustrated and tired, but I just did this ugly laugh cry thing.
I explained to him, between sons of laughter, that it was a LOTION. I was laughing because it was so funny, and crying because my stomach was itching like crazy and I needed relief.
Edit: SOBS of laughter.
#8
Went out to a happy hour with buddies on a random Tuesday night(Wife approved btw). The hour turned into several hours. Get home around 12:30, wife wakes me up at 4:30 saying her water broke. I actually didn't believe her, as her due date was a good 2-3 weeks out. I stared at the wet spot in the bed for quite a bit not wanting to believe what was happening. What a hangover in the hospital I felt like absolute s**t and everyone could tell. The bright lights and noise were helping a lot. One of the nurses even commented on how excited I looked(I was a complete zombie). That all changed once my daughter was born. What a surreal feeling that was. I cried really hard, it was weird. I had no inclination at all that was going to happen. What a roller coaster of feelings that day had in store for me.
#9
I made my boyfriend buy jars and jars of pickles, while I was pregnant. When I ran out of pickles, I would get very distraught. Lol I even made him google if it was safe to drink the pickle juice while pregnant.... I disgust myself.
KatSaidThat 1 month ago
The baby wants what it wants and you are in no position to fight or judge it. And you can drink the juice, but I don't know how much when preggo.
For example, when my wife was in the maternity hospital on bed rest during her first pregnancy (she had a truly difficult pregnancy), I visited her after work every day for almost four months. And each day after leaving the building, I just as invariably went to the nearest McDonald's and bought two ice cream cones. For each of my future daughters.
No, I knew perfectly well that it looked strange and ridiculous, and that it all resembled obsessive-compulsive disorder - but ultimately, it helped me maintain some sanity. Now my wife and I look back on it with irony (and she jokes that I was simply giving in to my inner sweet tooth, nothing more).
#10
My water broke at about 3am but I'm not one to freak out or rush so I let my husband sleep until 6am before I woke him up and told him we needed to get ready to go to the hospital . It was our first and it was 10 days early so we were not expecting it. His exact words were "Are you serious? Okay, I know this is bad timing, but can you cut my hair first?".
Michael Largey 1 month ago
Oh, in that circumstance, I think any wife would be more than willing to use sharp instruments on her husband's head.
#11
Wife wanted a treat from the local DQ--attentive husband that I am, I noticed it was mere minutes away from closing. I ran out the front door and jumped into the car and slammed the car door. Too quickly, it turns out. My head wasn't all the way in the car yet and I shut the door on my ear. Exquisite, excruciating pain. Baby is almost 37 years old now and I've still never met anyone else who ever shut their ear in the car door. PS--Persisted through the pain and got wifey the desired treat. Still married!
#12
When my parents arrived at the hospital to give birth to me, the first thing my dad asked the nurse was "where's the cafeteria?"
My mom was 9 cm dilated.
Dusty's mom 1 month ago
My dad and his crew were paving the parking lot of the hospital while I was being born. Then he went home to shower, change, eat, and finally come back to the hospital to see us. I was kept in a bassinet in the maternity ward and just brought to Mom for bottle feeding, cuddling and family visits. She and I were there almost a week. Nurses handled diapers the first couple of days. It sounds so clinical these days but it was just the normal routine. Dad went back to work immediately. I think my whole family saw me more than Dad did that first week. The 1950s in Midwest USA.
Well, yes, our youngest son's birth took place during the COVID-19 pandemic, so I wasn't allowed into the delivery room, and I spent the entire night in the car outside the maternity hospital, talking to my wife on the phone. From time to time, I sang songs and told her jokes - because it helped her relax a bit.
I'd shut up on demand, but a couple of minutes later she'd say, "Sing again!" And I started singing again... And you know what, we reminisce it all again with warmth - because, after all, it's for these strange moments that we live, right?
So don't be surprised if one of the parents-to-be (or already-been) in our collection of stories behaved incredibly strangely. After all, under extreme conditions, people very often do unexpected and strange things.
#13
When my wife was pregnant with our first kid, she instructed me not to indulge her crazy needs. She warned me that she might have some weird cravings, but I was not to submit.
Couple of weeks into pregnancy, my wife told me she wants some olives. She could really have some olives. Not thinking twice, I grabbed a full jar (16ish oz) of olives and gave it to her. We continued merrily watching some movie and life was simple. About an hour later, my movie watching experience is being promptly ruined by my lovely wife projectile vomit what seemed to be a bucket load of half ingested olives across our bedroom. Of course, it was all my fault for letting her do that to herself.
#14
True story.... I had worked 12 hour shifts for three days in a row. Night shift none the less.
I get home from work at 6:30 in the morning, take the daughter to school. Come home lie down in bed, my wife turns to me and says..."I think today might be the day" I go to sleep for maybe ten to twenty minutes. She says OMG my water broke. I tell her to get out of the bed so it isn't like totally wet.
On the way to the hospital, remember I had just worked three twelve hour shifts. I turn to my wife and say "Do you mind if I stop at McDonalds?"
Suffice it to say I got a Sausage Egg and Cheese McMuffin.
But, I still hear about it regularly!
Heffalump 1 month ago (edited)
TBH, that's smart. You've got a few minutes to spare at that stage, and if you need to refuel, you should. No telling how long it'll be before you have another chance. We packed my ex's 'go bag' with snacks for that reason, on medical advice (the midwife, don't expect practical advice from the doctors).
#15
My dad had just got a new car when my mum was due to have me and he turned on the heated seats while she was sitting in the passenger seat. She thought her water had broke.
Nicole Weymann 1 month ago
I wasn't pregnant when I got introduced to my first heated car seat, but I wasn't warned either. I WAS panicked and embarrassed aplenty, though.
In fact, researchers acknowledge that the process of pregnancy and childbirth can be truly traumatic for many fathers. For example, the authors of this study, published at BMC in 2017, note that the speed and unpredictability of events make childbirth a true rollercoaster of emotions for men. Husbands often mirror their partners' distress, so they, too, need emotional support, the authors claim.
Some scientists do believe that such strange behaviors are common in men due to so-called Couvade syndrome - when men experience the same emotions and even sometimes eating disorders as pregnant women.
"Sometimes referred to as a sympathetic pregnancy, Couvade syndrome is caused by the anxiety some men feel when faced with the idea of becoming a father," this article at Naitre et Grandir says.
According to the article, in the US, between 25 and 52 percent of all dads experience this syndrome in some way or another - especially those with their first child. So it's not surprising that a significant part of our tales here are about first-time dads.
#16
Don't make any plans in the 3rd trimester.
Friend of mine flew out to Switzerland to visit us and go snowboarding. Babies arrived the same day he did. Had to cancel the trip. I felt pretty bad, but he understood/had no choice.
But this is tame compared to the many friends I have that traveled abroad and missed the birth of their kids because they came early.
#17
Not me but my father. His 6ish month pregnant wife (my mom) was trying on maternity clothing while he was waiting outside the dressing room. He says to the sales assistant "we have to go, it's time for her feeding." jokingly. Mom cried. Refused to leave the dressing room.
Gingersnap In Iowa 1 month ago
OMG! A jury of women would not convict your mom for k*****g your dad!
#18
My ex wife craved two things while pregnant with our daughter, Snickers bars and Smores Poptarts. So naturally, because I was a loving husband I would keep her bedside drawer stocked with these.
One day, after working a night shift, I decided "Hey, I could actually go for a Snickers" so I grabbed one, noticed there were still 4 left, and enjoyed it. From the screaming and resulting fight I'm sure the neighbors thought she had just caught me with a gaggle of hookers and blow. Nope, just one less Snickers in the drawer.
tresgatos72 1 month ago
Well, everyone knows you turn into a diva if you're hangry and don't eat a Snickers!
Be that as it may, the birth of a child is not only a great stress for both parents but also a test for the family and the emotional bonds within the couple. And an additional factor that cements the bonds between them for the future.
So now please feel free to read all these stories, both funny and touching, heart-melting and ridiculous, and maybe add your own ones in the comments below - in case you have something to say on the topic.
#19
My wife loves fried green beans pregnant or not. But when she was pregnant with our second child I fried 2 whole bags of them as our entire dinner. Later in the evening, we were taking a shower together and she proceeded to throw up fried green beans all over me...twice. I'm still gunshy around her in the shower.
#20
Not me, but when my mom was pregnant with me, she wanted an ice cream cake. No problem, except she wanted it from a local ice cream place that is a walk up and it was in a the middle of a blizzard. So my poor dad had to drive out in the middle of a blizzard to get an ice cream cake to a place that was probably closed. He doesn't know how, but somebody was there and he got the cake.
#21
When the contractions started to hit, It was like 5am. I woke husband up and told him he wasn’t going to work that day. I said “It’s time.” ...He rolled over and went back to sleep for an hour.
On the way to the hospital he wanted to stop for donuts.
Inside the hospital, after the epidural was given, we both took a 30min power nap.
During delivery he continuously laughed at the faces I made trying to push (and not knowing if anything was happening) this massive 8lb baby out.
...husband is an a*s.
#22
I woke up one night to my 9-months-pregnant wife hitting me. Apparently, she had gotten up to go to the bathroom, and, upon returning to the bed, slipped off and stumbled until she caught herself on the nightstand. Half-awake me was heard to say "Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!".
Forrest Hobbs 1 month ago
"Weebles wobble but they don't fall down!" - advertising tagline for a child's toy range back in the old days. If you're unfamiliar with them, search on-line for that phrase. (flippin' BP hiding links and pictures and all that...)
#23
Oh f**k! I committed that cardinal sin of turning the thermostat up from 64 to 66 because Feb in WI.
This was a little over 8 years ago. I will never touch the d**n thing again, I will not put the app on my phone, I will not instruct Alexa or Siri or anyone/thing to make change to the temperature in the house or even in a hotel room we might stay at ever again. I am so mentally scared from this I am shaking just writing this.
I swear, out of the corner of my eye while I was being berated I saw a portal to hell open up and an army of demons started to craw out, took one look and noped the f**k back into hell. Mortal world, you're welcome.
#24
We were about to sit down for dinner(spaghetti) and wife went into labor. Grabbed the baby-bugout-bag and sister in-law and off to the hospital. 10hrs later, no baby yet and I'm starving. I drive the SIL back to the house and right there on the table is my glorious bowl of spaghetti. I smash that s**t down and get seconds. Back to the hospital. Wife is really feeling pain now. I take 2 steps into the room, and she smells it. She must be part f*****g bloodhound. She glares at me in a way that chilled me to the core, like a rabid, wounded animal. "You. F*****g. Ate? I'm birthing your f*****g kid, and you're eating spaghetti?" I looked to the doctor for help, but he just shook his head in disappointment. That's when I knew I done f****d up.
Tldr: don't eat food while wife is in labor, evidently.
#25
I'm a mom, not a father, but when I was about 8 months along my husband's friend came to town. They hardly ever get to see each other. Friend asks my husband if he wants to go to a strip club. My husband's other friend was like nooooooooo, don't you dare ask your pregnant wife if you can go to a strip club!
My husband is an idiot, so he asks anyways. I'm like whatever, I have to get up to pee for like the 2,849th time at 3 am. Can you be home by then with some tacos from Taco Bell and some French fries from Checkers? I was super excited for this meal.
He decides he doesn't want to go, it doesn't feel right. I promptly burst into tears because does this mean I won't get tacos and French fries?
Michael Largey 1 month ago
The question isn't whether you care if your husband goes to a strip club when you're 8 months pregnant. The question is whether you care if he comes back.
#26
Around her 6th month of pregnancy, my then girlfriend (now wife) and I got into a huge fight about something stupid that (should have) ended when she said "Oh, KISS MY A*S!" and started to walk away.
As she turned to walk away, I said, "Well, if you want to me to kiss your a*s, I appreciate the fact that you gave me such a big target to hit."
I swear I felt my teeth rattle and my ears pop when she slapped me.
#27
My dad is a HAM. Not amateur, but all engrossing, passion of his life, needs-nothing-else like. On the day I was born he sent my mom alone to the hospital because he was talking to americans on the radio for the first time. (we were living in Russia, and this was all on a homemade antenna in the 90's). So yeah, thanks dad.
#28
I broke my arm about 2 months before girlfriend gave birth and due to reasons was still in pain.
Mid Labour, call it mid heavy contractions a fly lands on my bad arm and I twitch and flick it away. Fall on floor in pain. Gf and midwife have a look of contempt. Understandably, but it was super painful.
#29
Gone out at 11pm at night looking for Pickled onions. Nowhere was open, except a Kebab shop. They sold me a jar of Pickled onions for about 3 times the price of one in the supermarket.
Dusty's mom 1 month ago
Learn how to make Mexican pink pickled onions. You'll never look another onion in the stem again. All natural ingredients. 1 large red onion, sliced thin, 1/2 c. your favorite white or light vinegar, 2-3 tablespoons sugar, 1/2 tsp. kosher or sea salt, 1/2 c. water. Pour all in a sealable bowl or container, chill 5 hours. Best if eaten within 4 days.
#30
My dad switched to buying Prego pasta sauce when my mom was pregnant and thought it was hilarious.
#31
When my mom was pregnant with me, her water broke at around 2 AM. She woke up my dad saying he had to take her to the hospital. He then groaned, rolled out of bed, they went downstairs, and he began making himself a sandwich saying "the baby isnt popping out for another 12 or so hours, relax". I was the 3rd child, so I guess he had a good idea about how long these things take.
#32
I was in hour 15 or 16 of a failed induction and they were talking about possibly needing a csection. My husband asks the OB if he has time to grab sushi from ghe cafeteria.
Sara Frazer 1 month ago
Hospital cafeteria sushi??! Now that almost sounds scarier than gas station sushi...
#33
6 month pregnant wife was stuck at home after a snow storm. Day 3 she probably could have gone to work but I insisted for safety she stay home. Cabin fever set in. We had a weekend getaway plan but I had to get home from work before we could go.
Stopped at the father in law’s house to drop off some car parts. Had one drink with him... which turned into two... then three. I get home to a very angry wife who proceeds to accost me for drinking bourbon with her father while she’s stuck at home pregnant and can’t drink.
I responded... “I wasn’t drinking bourbon with your dad honey.”
[silence]
“I was drinking scotch”
[yelling intensifies].
#34
Wife giving birth to our 1st kid on a Sunday afternoon in October. Yes, NFL season. While the baby is being delivered, the doctor, nurse, and I all turn around, (at the same time!), to see an exciting play by the Vikings vs the Bears. She still brings it up 18 years later...
Miss Ann Thrope 1 month ago
Similar story when my sister had a second daughter. She asked her then husband if he was disappointed they had another girl. He said he was more disappointed the Lakers lost.
#35
Once, I tried to assert an opinion while my wife was expecting. Boy was that dumb.
#36
Speaking on behalf of my cousin. His wife was heavily pregnant with their first child and was downstairs in the kitchen, my cousin was in the bedroom. Being h***y he decided to put on p**n on his phone (figuring his wife wouldn't be up for it) and forgot he had his phone synced up to his Bluetooth speaker set (which was downstairs).
He instantly caught on and turned it off, but hid in the bedroom for half an hour, then eventually came downstairs and when his wife asked him what he was doing he blurted out in embarrassment "I watching p**n alright?".
#37
When my mother was giving birth to me my father ordered a pizza. And after I was born my mom was laying in the bed exhausted and she looks at my dad who with a full mouth asks her if she’d like a slice. She didn’t.
tresgatos72 1 month ago
*singing* "When my fist hits your eye when your mouth's full of pie, that's amore"
#38
Not one of my proudest moments.
I used to homebrew beer pretty frequently and had a couple taps at the house. I was kegging a batch and had a good bit left over, so I filled up a couple 1L soda bottles and used a carbonator cap to force carbonate them. About an hour later they're cold and carbonated so I partook.
64oz is 4 pints, which is not nothing, but is usually enough to put me at a good buzz, not drunk. IIRC this was about a 5-6% ABV beer. I still don't know the mechanics behind it, but these particular 64oz got me blackout s**t faced hammered and I passed out hard in bed.
My wife had been developing a scab on her forehead that a doctor misdiagnosed as a minor bacterial infection, and it was bugging her that night. As we later found out it was shingles, which is apparently brutally painful and she couldn't take much for pain meds due to the pregnancy. On top of that my dumb a*s was unintentionally smashed and not at all helpful. Had I been in any normal state we would have gone to the hospital, but she had to suffer through it.
I believe she gave me a couple good punches (my arm hurt the next day) and called a physician friend to help figure out how to calm the pain down. I got a nasty hangover and a reminder for a while that I'm dumb. I still blame that magic super beer.
TLDR: Unintentionally made moonshine or something, got drunk, couldn't help wife deal with misdiagnosed shingle head pain.
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Miss Ann Thrope 1 month ago
There was story on Reddit about a guy who was so addicted to video games, he brough his gaming console with him and went out and bought a tv and hooked it up in the delivery room. Ladies, don't have children with men like this.
Vinnie 1 month ago (edited)
An a****t*on means that the biological father won't be caring for the children. Very different from some of the fathers above getting a teachable moment that may include comedy.
Load More Replies...
Ge Po 1 month ago
Why would dad-to-be not be allowed to eat or take a nap when mom-to-be is in labor and probably an hour or three away from giving birth? Especially in those cases where dad-to-be has worked night-shift, hasn't eaten in over 7 hours or so, and is supposed be the strong and clear headed one within the same three hours or so. Why do people expect dad to 'suffer like mom/I suffer(s)'? Especially when the dad in question has shown a decent amount of empathy, and is mom's greatest supporter.
Child of the Stars 1 month ago (edited)
For real. Some of the responses in the moment can be put down to pregnancy hormones, but seriously, so what if Dad wants to eat fried chicken in the delivery room or run down to the cafeteria while waiting for the baby? And before anyone "@"s me, yes, I've given birth twice.
Load More Replies... Forrest Hobbs 1 month ago
I laughed far too much at far too many of these. I'm a dad. It's nice to know I'm not actually the most stupid one out there... 🤣
Miss Ann Thrope 1 month ago
There was story on Reddit about a guy who was so addicted to video games, he brough his gaming console with him and went out and bought a tv and hooked it up in the delivery room. Ladies, don't have children with men like this.
Vinnie 1 month ago (edited)
An a****t*on means that the biological father won't be caring for the children. Very different from some of the fathers above getting a teachable moment that may include comedy.
Load More Replies... Ge Po 1 month ago
Why would dad-to-be not be allowed to eat or take a nap when mom-to-be is in labor and probably an hour or three away from giving birth? Especially in those cases where dad-to-be has worked night-shift, hasn't eaten in over 7 hours or so, and is supposed be the strong and clear headed one within the same three hours or so. Why do people expect dad to 'suffer like mom/I suffer(s)'? Especially when the dad in question has shown a decent amount of empathy, and is mom's greatest supporter.
Child of the Stars 1 month ago (edited)
For real. Some of the responses in the moment can be put down to pregnancy hormones, but seriously, so what if Dad wants to eat fried chicken in the delivery room or run down to the cafeteria while waiting for the baby? And before anyone "@"s me, yes, I've given birth twice.
Load More Replies... Forrest Hobbs 1 month ago
I laughed far too much at far too many of these. I'm a dad. It's nice to know I'm not actually the most stupid one out there... 🤣
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