Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
Have you ever noticed how painstaking it is building up a reputation as it takes months if not years, but even the tiniest of mishaps will destroy it in an instant? Well, maybe it’s for the best because some impressions need to be ruined.
Folks on Reddit have been sharing the fastest way someone has ruined their opinion of them—and it genuinely felt like progress in life at that point.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Was at a ballgame for a birthday with some work friends I’d known for years, the kind of guys that a certain amount of my future job success depended upon (one manager, one assoc director). I’d been at this company five years, and by this point it was listed by Forbes as one of the top ten mid-sized companies to work for in the entire US
One of them sat down and started talking about how he’d felt the a*s of the woman sitting in front of us a few minutes before. She hadn’t responded well, so then he went on to describe how it wasn’t that good anyway.
I had this moment where everything in my head went quiet. Like an almost out of body experience. I could see my credibility with these guys, built up over years, hang in the balance against my self-respect and character. I took a really hard swallow, then proceeded to berate this guy VERY loudly and tell him he should apologize. Everyone went dead quiet, then pretended like nothing had happened. The rest of the day went on like normal.
Never got invited out again. Two of them went on to direct sun-divisions of their departments as a part of an old-boy’s in-crowd. I left the company a year later.
I regret nothing.
Tobias Reaper 1 year ago
pricks like these is why women assume most men are like this well done for calling them out
Lotekguy 1 year ago
Yesterday I scrolled through one of these articles that was mostly incels spewing their bile. Had to stop about halfway through. I love sick humor, but not that sort of pathological sickness. That made your story even better. What a shame that someone didn't do that with those wretches before their misogyny became so fixed. They might have turned out happier, and our culture would be less off the rails.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago
As I've heard many women say: [ Nearly all women know someone who has been sexually harassed or assaulted. Nearly all males say they don't know anyone that has. ] Because males "think" sexual harassment, assault and rape "isn't" (e.g. the majority of males "think" there's a point of no return during sex when a woman can't say "stop").
Xitxarel•lo Panda 1 year ago
I m very proud of you brother , I would do the same . That kind of pricks also are cowards and I very bad mood......
D Peterson 1 year ago
Even I hadn't done the right thing, as you did, I'd be changing jobs. I couldn't respect or trust those people ever again. And my biggest fear is 'turning into one of those people by association!'
Valenti Books 1 year ago
Hmm. I wouldn't have laughed, but is it really my place to "educate" others and tell them what to do? Do you think the guy changed his ways, no. Ah, I get it, you wanted to educate other people, those who could hear you. Well .. I guess you have a point, if others hear maybe they'll think twice before sharing their salacious deeds.
RELATED:
#2
Matched with a lady on tinder. I always go to the let's get coffee as soon as possible to filter out the women who just like to chat endlessly.
To my surprise, she says yes. Could of days later we meet to outside of the coffee shop, we walk in, and she says, " Ew, I don't want coffee from this place, I don't care for the people serving the coffee."
I ask, "oh, you know them?" She responds, "no, but I know their type." "What do you mean, their type?" , thinking maybe she didn't like hipsters.
"Well black people are always gross and dirty, and I don't want to have them serving me." I look at her, and she's really hot, and kind of dressed sl**ty. So most of the time a guy will allow a certain amount of WTF in a girl like that.
But no, I just say I don't think this will work, and then block her as I'm walking away. I think our total in person interaction was like less than 5 minutes, maybe less than 2. I don't date racists. I didn't tolerate racists. No amount of hot on the outside will overcome that ugly on the inside.
Thanks for reminding me of that girl. I had forgotten about that experience. .
Spoiler Alert 1 year ago
Obviously I agree with his disgust at her racist attitude. However, he doesn't come across that well by referring to her as beind dressed "kinda sl**ty" When is this kind of stupid correlation going to die?
HighNMightyBigshot 1 year ago (edited)
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Load More Replies...
weatherwitch 1 year ago
"She's really hot and dressed kind of slutty" So. You have her racism sorted, well done, you did Right. "No amount of hot on the outside will overcome that ugly on the inside". Now work on your own attitude....
David Martin 1 year ago
On behalf of guys, I just want to go on record as saying that no, "hot and dressed kinda slutty" DOES NOT balance out racist. Ever. Racist trumps anything, any time, always
#3
Abusing their pets. Neglecting their kids.
Pandawearsprada 1 year ago
I’d like to also say the reverse too - neglecting their pets and abusing their kids.
So, folks on AskReddit have recently been talking about the fastest ways someone has ruined their opinion of them.
While the analytics are modest, clocking in at 1,800 upvotes and comments each, the stories people were telling sounded more of a blessing than a curse.
#4
Dated a woman a while back, we were talking on the phone as she was driving home. She pulled into a fast food place to get something, and I got an earful of her treating the employees there like s**t.
How you treat people you don't necessarily have to be nice to says a lot about you. I hung up on her and never spoke to her again.
A Jones 1 year ago
character is who you are when nobody is watching. glad that you were there to capture what kind of character they are and dodged one heck of a bullet.
SuperChicken 1 year ago
"character is who you are when nobody is watching" - amen to that.
Load More Replies...
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago
Apart from the fact that treating servers like shît is unacceptable in and of itself and would make it perfectly OK to unplug this person's life support to charge your phone, it is also monumentally stupid to treat like shît the same people who will be handling your food. OP dodged 2 bullets for the price of 1
#5
A girl I was seeing casually called my former roommate a racial slur while I was driving the two of us to dinner
I pulled over, dropped her off on a street corner, then went and got dinner on my own.
Michelle C 1 year ago
Agreed! At that point, taking the person back home and cutting contact with him or her if that person Decides not to consider the import of his or her remarks and repent suffices.
Manana Man 1 year ago
I totally agree with the sentiment, and there's really no context here, but isn't dumping women alone on random street corners an uncool thing to do? Even if she is an a*****e?
#6
Picked me up for a date, got on the highway, and revved it up to drive over 100 mph, weaving in between cars. I was terrified, tears in my eyes, asking him to slow down and he laughed. It was so f*****g scary, I can’t even explain it. Literally thought I was going to die, he was going *so fast*, well over 100 mph, and just weaving between cars. Just terrifying.
I took a taxi home and never saw him again. I’d had a crush on him for like 2 years at that point. I never wanted to see him again.
Sam Hill 1 year ago (edited)
There should be a crime called "attempted manslaughter" for people who drive like that. You should drive a car with the same caution you would treat a loaded gun with. I cannot overstate the contempt I have for people with this kind of reckless disregard for others.
The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
If he enjoys scaring and upsetting you on the first date, imagine what he’ll be like a year into the relationship.
megasmacky 1 year ago
Funny thing is, most professional racing drivers when not racing drive pretty conservatively and often have really ordinary cars. They might have an 800 BHP monster in their garage but their daily driver is more likely to be a simple not very fast BMW or SUV.
Amy Smith 1 year ago (edited)
One of my exes friends always had muscle cars - they were usually older but really nice and cool to look at and be in but he'd take us for rides along stretches of motorway, country roads, even regular roads trying to top 100. When my ex wouldn't ask him to slow down (he ignored me when I said anything) I started refusing going for drives and let her go alone with him. I liked him but hated his driving and it formed a fairly negative opinion of him, especially when I once asked how he would feel if he caused an accident or hit someone and he just shrugged
Xitxarel•lo Panda 1 year ago
What a f*****g a*****e. My truck driver a*s wanna beat really hard that idiot, they compromise our safety at the road and the other drivers. Truck drivers have a real hate for that kind of idiots
Michelle C 1 year ago
My dad was like that when I was a kid. I still don’t like being in a car with him when he is driving it, either. I don’t trust him not to be irresponsible behind the wheel of a car if he thinks that will benefit him in any given moment. It’s a shame because I wish I could trust him and aggressive or reckless drivers in general terrify me!
Xenia Harley 1 year ago
Once was in a car of a friend of a friend who was working for the CIA. He drove crazy, and when I said something, he said, "Don't worry, I'm trained to drive like this." One of the scariest rides of my life.
From racism to tantrums to flat out rudeness—the thread had it all. Much of it dealt with treating people, specifically hospitality, restaurant and retail workers. Before that, most of these people were in good standing, chill, good at banter, heck some were even dating. Well, they got too comfortable for their own good and ruined it all by being just the worst.
#7
Being a complete b***h to servers at a restaurant. I don't care how hot you are. Treating service workers poorly and with entitlement is such a turn off.
SuperChicken 1 year ago (edited)
Really, how difficult is it to treat other people with kindness?
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
Back when I was online dating (16 years, hubby was date #6) Guy #1wants to meet for dinner, which I quickly discovered was not a good idea. We get sat at our table & he immediately starts talking to the server in a very condescending & patronizing manner. He had this smug, "Master of the Universe" type attitude. I picked up my purse and just walked out. Blocked him as soon as I got to my car & left a "review" on his dating profile. Guy #2 wasn't AS bad, but near enough. I walked out, blocked and reviewed him as well.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
Another who did the right thing but needs to work on their own attitude
#8
A girl I was dating screamed at her mom. We were about to get down to business (sex), when her mother called. I could hear both sides of the convo. Her mom wanted to know if my girlfriend had accidentally taken her mother's house keys the last time she was staying over at their place. Girlfriend says no, annoyed, without hesitation. Mom asks if she could just check her purse when she had a moment because she couldn't find them anywhere. Girlfriend erupts out of nowhere screaming at her mom, accusing her mom of accusing her, which wasn't what was happening. She hangs up on her mom, who I hear audibly sobbing. Girlfriend then checks her purse and finds the lost keys. Instead of calling her mom, she calls her dad, tells him to come get them on the condition that he doesn't say where he found them. I could barely stand to be in the same room as her after that.
Ansi 1 year ago
A person that will probably treat you the same in the future?
Load More Replies...
Natasha Arruda 1 year ago
I had a childhood friend who was soon to be getting married to a guy she had met on Yahoo Chatrooms, in the anime roleplay rooms. She was getting a joint bank account with him, a few months before the wedding and her mom, who had a lot of different mental issues over the years (she was a hoarder the whole time I knew the family, had a son with extreme issues, like killing small animals and being aggressive/abusive, she had tried to commit suicide a few times, etc), tried to give her advice that maybe she should wait or not do that at all, you know, being a concerned mom. My friend went OFF on her, calling her all sorts of names, and then wrote a live journal post about how she'd told her off. Well she was supposed to go wedding dress shopping with her mother the next Thursday, I believe. Her mom doesn't answer her phone calls, which eventually leads to the discovery that her mother committed suicide, left all her other siblings letters but not my friend, because obviously this was(1/2)
Natasha Arruda 1 year ago
Caused by her outburst at her mother, which was not the first by any means. My friend then wrote a post about how her mother came to her in a dream a week afterwards and said that she loved her, so my friend decided that meant all was forgiven and it wasn't actually her fault. 😐
Load More Replies...
Howl's sleeping castle 1 year ago
The new employee was talking to her mother over the phone. I don't know what the conversation was about but she said ' you really deserve a slap.' I stopped talking to her. I can understand being irritated or being angry at your parents. But not this level of disrespect.
Michelle C 1 year ago
Yup! I feel like getting angry in the heat of a moment is one thing because it does happen sometimes and, of course, one should apologize. Getting angry *and* refusing to apologize whilst blaming the victim of one’s anger is another entirely!
Kare Deter 1 year ago
Mom needs to not put up with this - I doubt it is the first time, and it certainly won't be the last either.
#9
I met some (now former) coworkers out for dinner one night, and after the first round of drinks, one of them's husband showed up to join us. I had met him a few times before and had always thought he was a nice enough dude. Laid back, good conversation, chill.
He ordered lemon pepper wings, and the server brought out ones that had dark red sauce on them, so clearly not the correct flavor. No big deal, right? Well this guy acted like the server had spit in his face or something. He made a huge stink, demanded the manager, and was being so loud that half the restaurant was looking at our table. It was incredibly embarrassing.
His wife, my coworker, just sat there rubbing his back and saying "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry" to him while he had his tantrum, like he had just watched his dog die or something. It totally put me off both of them. She was not invited to any subsequent dinner meetups. No one wanted to risk that happening again.
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
If that's the kind of awful behaviour and enabling of said awful behaviour that's typical of those two, then I REALLY hope they didn't have kids.
Jay Scales 1 year ago
Oh, they will - they'll want to pass their special genes on.... :((
Load More Replies...
DumYum 1 year ago
Maybe the wife responded that way because he treated her the same at home or worse.
Apachebathmat 1 year ago
I went out for a work dinner many years ago, one of my colleagues who I greatly respected as a true gentleman (would drive people home if it was raining etc) he ordered a steak then called his wife, 10 or so minutes later, his wife walked in, cut up his steak for him then left, I couldn’t look at him the same after that.
Robin DJW 1 year ago
I went to a Sunday brunch with a relative and his wife. She (I later discovered that she did this everywhere to get her meal comped) went into a horrible snit about something unimportant and easily fixed. Her husband just had a "Here we go again" look on his face. I was so embarrassed. She was a Certified B**ch. This was normal behavior for her. It went way beyond what has been called Karen Behavior. Sorry, all normal Karens. We need a term for this kind of person that does not vilify pleasant Karens. How about Scritch (for Screaming B**ches)?
Rebekah Fuentes 1 year ago
It was probably way worse for her when they got home. If he's acting like that in public, what is he doing behind closed doors?
Xitxarel•lo Panda 1 year ago
Ppl are crazy and y polite. That happened to me several times but with the difference the sauce have an element that I m allergic and I always specify that not sauce with this ingredient , but always tell to the waiter sorry but you mistake and I can't eat that and then they tell me oh sorry I mistake . And no problem about. Ppl have mistakes, I have a lot so I can't judge someone for competing one mistake , specially if it's working and stressed
XanthippeⓐWulf🇨🇦️️🇬🇧 1 year ago
Exactly! We recently went to a diner that just opened and the server made so many mistakes with our order, but you could tell that he was really young & probably his first job. We felt so bad for him because he was a little stressed with the lunch rush. My partner, who is always incredibly sweet, kept reassuring our server that it's no worries & everyone makes mistakes.
Load More Replies...
Luna Cieslak 1 year ago
I can only imagine how he is at home if his wife makes a tiny mistake!
Charles McChristy 1 year ago
I once dated a girl like this. It didn't last longer than a month.
Tomas O Flatharta 1 year ago
Feel kinda sad for the lady, she wasn't the problem but wasn't solving it either 🤷
Dinu Bogdan 1 year ago
I'm with the "husbamd" on this one. I would've reacted differently, but only because I'm not the volcanic type. I worked in the restaurant business and I witnessed situations when the cook/waiter had to remake the order because of their own mistakes and doing nasty stuff to the food because the client had the nerve to make the work "harder". Ever since, when a restaurant staff makes a mistake with my food, I don't eat it, I actually pay for it and let them know why I didn't eat it and that that's the last time I go there. But that's me... if I had a volcanic personality, I would react just like the "husband" and I wouldn't be wrong. It's simple, you work in a reataurant, it's your highest responsability not to mess up what a client puts in their mouth.
As mentioned previously, reputation is pretty fragile. It doesn’t take much to make something crash and burn, though building it is a much more arduous process.
So, it’s best to first of all start by protecting a reputation before it crumbles by not saying or doing something regretful in the first place.
#10
Her: "Once I was fighting with my boyfriend and I punched him multiple times in the arm."
Me: "What? That's not nice."
Her: "No, no, it was fine, I felt better afterwards!"
I had no words. It soured my view of her in an instant.
Anna Ekberg 1 year ago
Until he snaps from being abused and punches her back. Or leaves her, won't feel so nice then.
Kare Deter 1 year ago
And the second he snaps and retaliates - he will be the one arrested.
Load More Replies...
Beck 1 year ago (edited)
I hit my ex when I was 19. He had broken SO many promises to me. This time, I needed to go home 8 hours away to say a final goodbye to a beloved family member that was dying. I didn’t have a car so he promised to take me, but the night before we were going to leave, he had a house party, told me I wasn’t allowed to be there because I would “bring my annoying friends,” ended up cheating on me with a girl he had a crush on and then was so hungover that he slept in the next morning so we missed our ferry reservation and cost me $200 that I had barely managed to scrape together with help from my extremely broke mother. I wasn’t able to go home and say goodbye, and I was so hurt and angry that I marched down to his house at 11am where he was sleeping peacefully, and woke him with a hard slap to the face. I regret it SO much now, even though it felt justified at the time. I was so, so angry and hurt, but that is never a justification for violence. He was awful to me but never physically hurt me, I was the one who stopped that low. I’ll always regret it. I wish I’d just recruited his kid brother and sister to help me come into his room slamming pots and pans together and hollering WAKE UP MFER. 😔
Snow_White 1 year ago
I wonder how the world would be like now if all women had the same approach towards abuse from men.
Michelle C 1 year ago
I sincerely hope he broke off the relationship after that, especially since she was unrepentant and brazenly so. There is no excuse for that kind of behavior except in self-defense!
Dre Mosley 1 year ago
It's all fun and games until the man hits back. We should all just keep our hands to ourselves.
Dread Pirate Roberts 1 year ago (edited)
I bet she wouldn't be too happy if her bf did that to her and used the same excuse. I hope he left her abusive a*s.
#11
I was pretty good pals with this one dude at work. Good banter, chill as can be and all that. But then I heard him talk about his girlfriend for the first time and how she does nothing around the house and how she's typical for a modern woman because she doesn't do chores. I instantly understood why all the women at work hated his guts, and from that point on I did, too.
And to add on to this, he also said therapy is for weak-minded people. I went to therapy for five years and it helped me deal with so many things that felt overwhelming before. Thankfully he no longer works there and our workplace is better for it.
me myself and i READ BIO AGAIN 1 year ago
People like him are the ones making people who need therapy for mental health (and I mean this in the best way possible) hesitate to go. If you suspect you need therapy and can access it, please please go. I promise your mental health is so important. If you can’t access it, there are a lot of free mental health hotlines you can try. Just do it once: one step is better than none at all! Have a lovely day x
Definitely a Human 1 year ago
Going to therapy is no different than going to a masseuse or a dentist. Mental health is just as important as the physical
#12
I got a friend hired at the restaurant I work at. Anyone in that industry knows that “Christmas bonuses” aren’t really a thing but I’m lucky enough to work for a small business that gives one out every year. She got hers after only working there for a couple months, opens the envelope and says “that’s it??”
I just found it so distasteful that she scoffed at free money she didn’t even have to work for and wasn’t entitled to. How ungrateful can you be.
CP 1 year ago
Thank you for paying me money to work here? I don't get the manners part.
Load More Replies...
Brazen 1 year ago
When I quit my job to move to another province, my boss handed me an envelope with money in it. I told my sister-in-law about it and that was her response..."that's it?" I looked at her with my mouth open in shock and then when I collected myself, I asked her "where have you ever worked that handed you money when you quit." Shut her up really fast. Honestly, I was just happy that they thought enough to do it in the first place.
Matthew Barabas 1 year ago
*every* place has to give you money (your last payment period) when you quit. its not special, its the law.
Load More Replies...
FABULOUS1 1 year ago
I refuse to refer anyone to a job unless I have worked with them previously and know they are a good worker. I got someone a job before and she kept taking two hour lunches and even got caught stealing at Walmart on one of her long lunch breaks, and was made at me when I didnt try and talk my job in to keeping her. I referred her for another friend, never again.
BewilderedBanana 1 year ago (edited)
Bit on the fence on this one... sometimes receiving a tiny bonus is worse than nothing at all. Happened a few times where i work. A lot of talk about appreciation and thanks for all the hard work throughout the year, and then we get a €50 amazon voucher. It's a bit of an insult, especially since the boss's bonus was, let's just say, *considerably* more generous :)
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)
Nowhere is it said or implied the pay was bad. Just that it’s not a field that typically has a bonus for this particular religious holiday. Thus, the bonus in this situation is a gift, not a requirement and, given the field of work, certainly not an expectation. To look at a gift & say “that’s it” is entitled & greedy. The salary of the actual job has nothing to do with gift-giving.
Load More Replies...If trouble does strike, however, the best thing is to admit the mistake and rebuild. So, first seek out the truth and figure out what you have done to deserve the hate. Identify whether you’re truly in the wrong and were you fairly blamed? Find out why people reacted the way they did. Discuss it with friends or coworkers and brace yourself to make things right. Verbatim.
#13
Had a really good friend from early adulthood. We met when we were 19. We went on a vacation together when we were 30. While there, we met a French woman who was there for a destination wedding. We chatted for a bit in French before I retired to our AirBnB. I'm married so I wasn't looking for hookups or anything. I wake up in the night to go to the bathroom and walk in on them half-undressed on the couch. I say, "Pardonnez-moi" and start walking to the bathroom. She, very drunkenly says, "Wait, your friend speaks French?" I stopped, turned to my friend, and said, "Dude, if she's too drunk to remember talking to me in French an hour ago she's too drunk to consent." I helped her get her things and we walked her drunk a*s home. Definitely changed my opinion of him, and we split up for the rest of the trip.
Definitely a Human 1 year ago
Or she just forgot? And was he drunk too? And people can't want things when they're drunk? She could have consented while completely sober and then drank together. Sounds like there's a lot missing from this story.
Michelle C 1 year ago
Good for him for protecting the young lady! I’m glad his friend wasn’t able to harm her!
#14
I met a girl in college and we became friends. I felt sorry for her that she didn't have any friends and was kind of awkward, because I'd been in those shoes too, so I introduced her to my friend circle and things were cool. Then, she calmly informed me that all of them were creeps and p*dos. I asked her what the f**k she meant by that, and she told me that they must be, because they were adults (keep in mind, we were all sophomores in college) who liked comics and cosplay, so they *had* to be creeps. I turned the car around and brought her right back to her dorm, and immediately told my friends. The irony of it was, *she* was, and still is, a decade later, *obsessed* with a certain YA series.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)
If you put an ammunition device to my head & forced me to make such gross generalizations, I’d say there’s a higher chance this community has a lot of queer people. We’ve likely had to pretend to be something we’re not since we can remember, continually having to cosplay heteronormativity, whether we’re partially/fully out or not. So, we’re great at it. We’ve paid attention to nuance & detail to either fit into the straight world or peacefully coexist with it or subvert it. We’re the apex cosplayers. So, I have to wonder if “creeps” & “pédos” is more of a dog whistle for an anti-queer sentiment, be it unconscious or otherwise. Also, comic (picture) books are the oldest form of storytelling.
Tessana Nemenski 1 year ago
As a nerd in my 40s. I hate stories like this. Comics/Cosplay etc is for ALL AGES yeesh
FloralDangerNoodle 1 year ago
Young Adult. My guess would be she was obsessed with the Harry Potter series.
Load More Replies...
Peter Trudell Jr 1 year ago
A certain YA series about a very old man who pretends to be a teenager and seduces a classmate, grooming her and having a child with her?
#15
I'm often welcoming to new employees at the company I work for on trips, just to be hospitable. I had a coworker who was the new guy at the time suggest we go get some hookers while on a work trip. He had already creeped out several female coworkers with staring and inappropriate comments and then he dropped that on me.
I could never look at him the same way and he ended up not lasting long at the company, thankfully. It was weird and I'd never experienced anything like that before or since.
Rizzo 1 year ago
I was out with a colleague from work for a few drinks, when we met a friend of him on the street. He told us in a very good mood, that he just dropped off his wife and children at the station. The two arranged to meet later, we said goodbye and the friend walked straight into a brothel. :D
megasmacky 1 year ago
I've never really understood this. The prostitute's feelings toward you are going to range from hating your guts to, at best, indifference. How is that sexy or alluring? Call me crazy but I'd like to think the person I'm with is into me.
Once you know what you’re up against, start rebuilding. Limiting damage as soon as possible is a good start. But alongside that, form an action plan and start executing it. Admit your mistakes and work towards making sure they don’t happen again—get a mentor or anyone really to keep you accountable with this change. It will also have to be visible in order for folks to start changing their mind about you.
#16
Been unkind to animals.
Jay Scales 1 year ago
Even someone who 'doesn't like animals' is a no-go to me as a close friend.
BookFanatic 1 year ago
Yep. Went on a date with a guy and we 100% hit it off. Talked for hours about everything under the sun. I cooed over his pictures of his dog. He took one look at my cat's photo and said "Cats can rot in hell as far as I'm concerned." Buh-bye!
Load More Replies...
Regina Holt 1 year ago
I am allergic to dogs and cats. I would never go up to pet one, but if it came up to me, I'd just let it be. Why be unkind to animals? There is something wrong with you if you are mean to an animal.
#17
Was having dinner out with some friends and one girl who I was on the fence about. At the end of the meal, one of them began cleaning the trash out of her purse and piling it on our dirty dishes. I asked why she was doing that, and she said “It’s the waitstaff’s job to clean up after me.” Technically it is, but it’s NOT their job to clean up your personal trash.
My opinion of her became decidedly negative after that!
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)
I prefer my servers & bussers never, ever assume anything personal of the guest is unwanted or trash. Regardless of how we clock these items. Given our employee handbook, our team should remove the items from the plates & gently set them in front of the guest. If there’s a complaint, our supes & mgrs would apologize to the guest, but explain we have a policy to never assume something that belongs to them is unwanted & error on the side of judgement. That our policy is, if we didn’t supply or provide it, we don’t dispose of it unless the guest asks. This is to assure we don’t throw away something that may have sentimental or real world value to them. It’s really hard to be angry & argue with such detailed consideration. It also points out subtly that we’re not their personal servants.
Beck 1 year ago
As a former server - your plate is getting scraped out into the trash anyways, so I wouldn’t mind a couple extra bits of napkin and papers/wrappers on there - IF they’re easy to toss with the rest of your food scraps. As long as you’re NOT making MORE mess for someone to clean up after you - if I have to put in extra effort to clean up your purse dirt for you, that’s super uncool. If it’s just a couple old receipts and a candy bar wrapper, it’s fine.
Michelle C 1 year ago
If I was on a date and a guy ever said something like that, It would take all of self-control, not to ask him: “Excuse me? Do you care to explain why treating the service staff like less than the trash you just took out of your bag is acceptable?” I sincerely doubt that I would stick around to hear an explanation either, and call an Uber or Lyft immediately!
#18
I was hanging out with friends once and got introduced to a friend of a friend and within minutes this dude was talking about how nice it is to get a break from his annoying wife lmao like brother I have barely known you for five mins and you're telling me what a b***h your wife is? Off the get go I knew this guy was an a*****e.
Howl's sleeping castle 1 year ago
I had a work friend. I was his closest friend. Going for breaks together, sharing food, doing projects together, winning awards etc etc. We worked for 2 years before he moved to other department which was in a separate building. Next time I met him at an office party where I found out he just got married. Later heard him making fun of his wife to his friends, saying things like how wives are always complaining, grumbling, unhappy creatures and can't see husbands happy. One guy actually told him 'Its not been even a month, why are you making fun of your wife?' He was definitely no longer the person I was friends with. I never tried reaching out for him after that.
Marcellus II 1 year ago
As you were his 'work wife' he probably had been talking about you like that, until he got married!
Load More Replies... ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)
I find it’s always best to play dumb & clueless in these situations. Akin to telling the coworker who told an inappropriate joke that you don’t get it & to explain it. “I don’t understand. Why do you need a break from your wife? I can’t imagine imprisoning myself with someone so horrible?” And so on. Take his statements as honest, genuine & factual and ask him to explain or elaborate. It won’t take much effort for him to have a milliliter of self-reflection on just how horrible he sounds.
Game Guy 1 year ago
Had a boss once who was always trying to fit in but just didn't know how. Somehow he got the idea that people think you're cool if you hate your wife. Most of his conversation involved how stupid she was, doesn't do anything, etc. He never figured out why that tactic didn't make him the most popular guy in the office.
Bored Retsuko 1 year ago (edited)
OMG, I recently met a woman who after talking a bit proceeded to randomly complain about her (adult) daughter.
Ansi 1 year ago
I wouldn't give this guy a pass at all. If you're that 1% you probably would tell your friend that was already there. Not the stranger you met 5 minutes ago.
Load More Replies...
If you do end up mending your reputation, make sure it lasts this time around. For one, try not to stumble into the same pitfall as last time by avoiding previous behaviors and rhetoric. And if it’s a habit, have someone keep you accountable.
It might take time for someone to let it go or to see that you’re, at the very least, trying to make amends. So, give it that.
#19
“Just cuz there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score” aaaand you’re gross. Cheating is pathetic. You were cute but nvm thanks.
Natasha Arruda 1 year ago
Not going to lie, that took me a moment to realize that meant relationship cheating and not somehow cheating at sports. I'm an idjit.
Nina 1 year ago
I thought they meant 'just because someone says no doesn't mean you can't scor', which would be different (and worse) kind of bad
Gabriele Alfredo Pini 1 year ago
"Just cuz they are in a relationship doesn't meant they can't cheat with you"
Load More Replies...
Michael Largey 1 year ago
The most valuable thing my Shakespeare professor taught me in college was that "All sports analogies are false."
Xitxarel•lo Panda 1 year ago (edited)
I don't get this one . I mean ,my English isn't good enough
Parmeisan 1 year ago (edited)
For what it's worth, I consider my English to be above average (and my first language) and it still took me a bit. So a guy said this: "Just cuz there’s a goalie doesn’t mean you can’t score" and it's a sports metaphor for cheating. In sports it would mean that players can still score points even in sports such as soccer (European football) or hockey were there is a "goalie", a player whose sole job is to guard the net. But what he actually meant was that a person can still "score" (have sex) even if they have a partner (whose job, he is implying, is to prevent you from doing so).
Load More Replies...
#20
This happened to a friend. In 1973, my friend, who was a teenager and a huge Knicks fan, actually went to the airport to meet the Knicks’ plane and try to get some autographs. My friend is an Orthodox Jew and was wearing his kippah. The plane came in and my friend was jumping up, calling out the players’ and waving his autograph book. One player actually came over and was going to take my friend’s pen to sign when he spotted the kippah. He dropped the pen and said “I don’t do s**t for Jews.”.
Libstak 1 year ago
OMG that is rancid, i hope he was called out publicly for this if not on that day then some day since.
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
Pretty stupid thing to say when you play in a city like New York.
Load More Replies...
I’ll have a treble thanks. 1 year ago
But why? I’ve never understood this ridiculously ignorant behavior.
Michelle C 1 year ago
I looked up the original post and, unfortunately, the OP doesn’t remember the name of the player who made that disgusting remark to his friend. I don’t believe his friend does, either, from what I read.
Load More Replies...
Michelle C 1 year ago
Yeeeeeah…he deserved to lose the positive impression other people had of him! Who does that??
#21
Well for me. I was starting to make friends with this girl from my job. It was great at first because we had a lot of things common, and I was thrilled to have a new friend. So, I planned a hangout with her off work. She told me that she had her brother at home and didn't want to leave him by himself. I didn't find anything wrong with that. I told her that she can bring him along then. It was the worst decision because if I knew. I wouldn't have asked her to. Through out the whole hangout, she kept trying to set me up with her brother. I just felt uncomfortable because she would high light my ethnicity and constantly say that her brother always wanted a spanish girlfriend. She would also encourage us to talk alone, and that we had so much in common. I kept telling her I wasn't interested but she didn't listen. The night got progressly more worse, when we stopped to eat at a restaurant after hiking. Her and her brother ordered a lot of things. I didn't order as much, only one thing from the menu. When it was time to pay, they forfeit the bill. Pure silence. Her intention was obvious. She wanted me to pay for it all. I asked to split the bill and she started to complain how expensive it was. Never again. I decided it was best to remain as coworkers instead of friends.
Annik Perrot 1 year ago
Sometimes they can be. I met two people at work. In the 70s. 45 years later, they're still my two best friends.
Load More Replies...
Michelle C 1 year ago
Casual racism and ethnocentrism or similar behaviors are immediate red flags! Good on you OP!
However, also be prepared to accept the fact that sometimes mistakes are permanent. And it might not be you—it might be them who are unwilling to accept your repentance. In which case you now have to accept that you can’t repair your reputation and have to move on to other things.
#22
Wife and I were house-shopping. Or realtor had done a great job finding houses in our price range and negotiating a fair price. Then at closing she confirmed the final price and said “I tried to Jew the owner down a little more, but he wouldn’t move.”
“Uh … you did what?” we asked.
“Yeah, I tried to Jew him down a little more, but he wouldn’t budge,” she said.
Us: “You know that’s antisemitic, right?”
Her: “No it isn’t. I’ve used it for years.”
If we could have backed out of closing, we would have. We didn’t use her again when it was time to sell that house, though. And for whatever it’s worth we did return the gift basket she sent us.
Ace 1 year ago
Yes it is. Many (many) years ago such expressions were so common that I recall as young children we would use them without a second thought, and with no idea whet they really meant or that they were offensive. That was in an era where comedians were allowed to make jokes about any race, colour or religion without censure, it may surprise younger readers just how recently (like in the last 50-odd years) these attitudes even _started_ to change.
Load More Replies... Scrupulous Panda 1 year ago
I remember my mum sharing her most embarrassing moment in an office meeting. It was the 90's and she shared with the entire group (including the CEO and owner of the company who was Jewish) "The client wanted X but I chewed him down to Y". There was a long pause before the CEO briefly praised her negotiating skills and continued the meeting. Afterwards he pulled her aside and explained that the phrase she used was unacceptable. She didn't understand until the CEO explained that the word she had heard and subsequently used so many times wasn't "chew" but Jew. She was mortified. More than 30 years later it still reminds me to never miss a teachable moment if someone says something completely out of character.
Stephanie A Mutti 1 year ago
The first time I heard that expression was in a staff meeting at the legal non-profit I worked for. It was so alien to me i heard it as "chew" them down and it wasn't until a number of other attorneys were up in arms that I got the actual word. Just WOW
Kristal 1 year ago
I have never heard of this phrase before. Gathering from context, I'm assuming it means negotiating a price down?
justme 1 year ago
Yep that is what it means. It goes back to the days when Jewish people were money lenders. Pretty sure it had to be Jewish people because the laws wouldn't allow Christian people to do it but I'm not 100% sure on that. So they got a reputation for being money-hungry and having unfair interest rates, predatory lending sort of BS
Load More Replies...
Flora Porter 1 year ago
I'm still ashamed of how casually we all used all kinds of slurs back in the 70s and 80s when I was at school.
CP 1 year ago
I grew up in an area where that phrase was used and had no idea how bad the phrase was until I left.
Dane Smith 1 year ago
It's funny how expressions we heard as a child can root so deeply in our brains. One time I was talking about a neighbor hood and called it (Italian racial slur) hill. A friend said we just call it the hill now. I never even thought of it as a slur, it was just the name of the neighbor hood. It took serious work to change the name deep in my brain
Breadcrumb. 1 year ago
Had a friend say "they gypped me" I responded with "whatever did the gypsies do to you?" They quickly apologized as they didn't know the meaning.
SkippityBoppityBoo 1 year ago (edited)
I didn't know that "gypped" was a racial slur until reading that! I grew up hearing it being used - "What a gyp!". My mother would say that when I was little, just purely for example - say we were watching a game show in TV and the person lost in some unfortunate way.
Load More Replies... The Starsong Princess 1 year ago
Twenty years ago, I told one of my reports that phrase is anti semitic and to never use it again. I can’t believe people still think it. Is ok.
#23
Oh I posted a good story about this on a different subreddit yesterday. My dad's a member of a men's club at a golf course and has a few friends he golfs with a lot. I'm not a member but he brings me along as a +1 so I know some of his better golf friends. There's a guy we'll call Jim that he golfs with a lot, they've probably been golf friends for a decade. Recently I was in a 4-some with my dad, Jim and a random. We're making small talk waiting for the green to clear on one of the par 3's when the random makes a complaint about an Asian moving in next door and how it bothered him. Jim responds "Oh, I don't mind having Asians living nearby. It's the Mexicans that bother me. Especially if they have kids. You just know they're going to end up gang bangers and d**g dealers and bring all kinds of s**t to the neighborhood."
So I'm going to say that. That comment moved Jim from one of my dad's cooler golf friends to someone I never want to golf with again. Over the rest of the round Jim and the random made a lot of comments just casually spewing racism, sexism and anti-LGBT sentiment. My dad was as baffled as I was. When we got back to the car my dad said he wasn't going to be trying to share a 4-some with Jim or hang with him at the range anymore.
mandy the capibara 1 year ago
"Recently I was in a 4-some with my dad, Jim and a random."... was not a sentence I expected;)
BlackestDawn 1 year ago
And without the context of the post brings a completely different kind of 4-some to mind.
Load More Replies...
HighNMightyBigshot 1 year ago
Racists being racists. But not telling them is why they keep saying c**p like this, they think you also agree with them.
Linda Riebel 1 year ago
Imagine if we ALL called out racists to their faces, instead of ghosting them!
Michelle C 1 year ago
What is with all these people thinking they can be racist and other folks are just going to accept that as tolerable, if not acceptable, for anyone? I side with OP, as I would never want to golf with Jim again, either!
#24
My old supervisor was one of the smartest guys I've ever met he taught me loads, I had massive respect for him and we worked as a team, he was pretty old so I did all his heavy lifting for him (we were welder fabricators). One day in conversation he told me he doesn't believe in evolution and dinosaurs were a hoax 🤣 didn't really ruin my opinion but how can someone I saw as so clever be so stupid lol.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 1 year ago
Wow, did not expect it to escalate like that,
Load More Replies...
PSimms 1 year ago
One night my friend's mother told us if dinosaurs had really existed they'd be mentioned in the Bible.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
Facebook isn't mentioned in the bible, so obviously it doesn't exist. Or any other new development since the 4th century.
Load More Replies...
TheAmericanAmerican 1 year ago
The internet is a blessing and a curse... You can learn literally EVERYTHING here, including absolute brainwashing BS. Some people lose their minds and never find them again...
Diana Pahule 1 year ago
I used to work with a woman who didn't believe dinosaurs were real. She was very helpful to me on a number of occasions. But she was raised to believe that so I let it slide.
Rebecca Joan 1 year ago
A lot of “born again” Christians and maybe other more conservative Christians seem to believe this. My aunt does. She thinks fossils are fake and the earth is as old at the Jewish calendar, so like 5 thousand and change years old…
#25
Had a coworker who admitted they didn't pick up their dog's poop when walking.
A couple years later I found out they were an anti-vaxxer.
Javelina Poppers 1 year ago
People like that is why I have a sign in my yard. "The dog doesn't know any better, you do. PICK IT UP!"
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
The people around the corner from me have a sign that reads "Attention dog walkers! Please smile for the camera"
Load More Replies...
allthatandaduck888 1 year ago (edited)
People who don’t pick up their dog’s poo are disgusting. I left my dog’s poop on the sidewalk once when I was 12. I felt terrible afterwards and never did it again.
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
My stepdaughter stopped speaking to her father & I because we were appalled that she wasn't going to have her newborn son vaccinated (oh, but circumcision was just fine). Pretty sure the guy she married, whom we had never met in person, was a kool-aid drinking Trump supporter.
Tina Harnish 1 year ago
I read about a small town in England that got fed up with people not picking up their dog doo. They made it a requirement that if you had a dog, you had to get its DNA. When the poop gets found, they check its DNA. Owner gets a big fine. Wish this were everywhere. The cost of the testing is covered by the fine. Having to get the dog's DNA is part of dog ownership fees, like vaccinations andlicenses.
Sheryl Kirby 1 year ago
My husband takes cares or our dog but doesn't get the vaccine. Only because every time in the past he's had a vaccine, he's had a negative reaction to it. The 2 things have nothing to do with each other and you thinking it does just shows your ignorance.
Reputation recuperation might come in different shapes and sizes. Sometimes it might just be a misunderstanding and others it might be something you casually said and gave no serious consideration to, but it affected someone and they’re gonna repress it. Whatever the case, once you notice the signs, reach out, get feedback and make amends.
#26
New male hire at work last week. He jumped into a conversation between two women at work who were debating if a guy customer was rude to both of them but nice to the male boss because he was sexist or just respected authority.
New hire was not present for any of the customer interactions but told the women that it was *definitely* not sexism.
Michelle C 1 year ago
Sadly, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was wrong about the man’s motive, in addition to being wrong about whether he was invited into the conversation.
#27
Lying and denying when proof is presented.
Amy Smith 1 year ago (edited)
I did work experience with another girl from my school that I'd never met. We had use of two of the staff lockers to put our stuff in. My prize possession at the time was my CD walkman (it was flourescent orange - on this day it had a copy of The Offspring Americana in it). This was while I was working kept in the locker with my phone (a 3210 with a glow in the dark UFO case). One evening I was asked if I could stay late and was told I had to ask my mum if I could so I went to the locker I was using and found it open, my CD player and my phone were missing. I told the nursery owner who asked all of the staff if they had seen them. I was asked to describe the items before they started looking and the staff of the nursery were more than happy to open their lockers, when it was the girl from my school's turn even when both of my items were found in her bag, along with the stuff she had used to pick the padlock, claimed she had never seen them before.
Amy Smith 1 year ago
To add insult to injury the nursery owner lived upstairs and this girl had snuck up to the private areas up top and had stolen a load of stuff from there too. The nursery started refusing placements from our school after that - gave us all a bad name
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 year ago
And claiming, complaining, and proclaiming when you have no proof at all.
#28
My fiancé and I used to be friends with this couple that my fiancé knew from before he went to rehab, got clean and sober, got his life back on track, etc. We went over to their place to visit them and it was about a month after my cousin died from an accidental overdose, so I was still very depressed and out of it. Anyways, we’re talking and hanging out, I brought up what happened. The girlfriend of my fiancé’s friend then blurts out, “Well, maybe if your cousin wasn’t such a dumb**s, she’d still be alive and not dead.” I immediately went quiet while my jaw dropped to the floor.
I thought this woman would show me sympathy or compassion but I was wrong. My fiancé became furious and he then said to these people, “I’m sorry but we gotta get going now.” We never saw or spoke to these people ever again. It took everything in me and my fiancé to keep from punching this woman in the face. She had no room to talk because she was abusing d***s on the down low during and after her pregnancy. As a result, her poor son has severe developmental disabilities and issues, isn’t very vocal, has vision problems and had to have weekly occupational therapy at home. I pity that child so much and there’s nothing I can do to have him put in another home because I don’t have concrete physical evidence.
Michelle C 1 year ago
I’m glad this couple cares enough to look out for the kid even from a distance!
#29
I've always been a big believer in when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.
I went to play D&D over at a friends house and there was a dude there who was one of their mutual friends and within the first few minutes of general, get to know ya questions, one of which being,
"Where did you move here from?"
He responded with like 6 cities and states from across the USA, saying that he's been everywhere and ended that statement with, "I don't know what happens but eventually I always seem to wear out my welcome and need to move every few years."
That first meeting and response immediately made me super wary of him and I didn't particularly like interacting with him afterwards. Because like, he knows what happens, 6 different places in only twice as many years is an obvious pattern, there's no way that's somehow everyone elses fault.
He was around for about 6 months and was relatively chill but then at a mutual friends wedding, he showed up wearing an odd Mrs. Cleo costume, like a straight up bedazzled turban and bedazzled women's dress jacket with like a bright red tank top underneath, flat black culottes, and again bedazzled kitten heels, and then he started a fight with one of the wedding party members. Afterwards he threatened to sue everyone for emotional damages for not having his back and how the fight was a hate crime towards him, in the fight he very much started.
Just to avoid any hate, he was and still does identify as a Cis white man. I have trans friends and am completely supportive of them. What he was wearing wasn't a fashion choice or a coming out, it was very much a costume he decided to wear that day. I watched and heard the fight from beginning to end, he was the initial aggressor, escalated the fight despite the actual bride trying to separate them and calm them down, and he put hands on the other guy first.
It was a s**t show. On the way home I seriously said to my wife, huh I guess we know why he has to move so often now.
Hphizzle 1 year ago
Hmm… I’m wondering if there is an underlying issue. That sounds like a major shift in personality. Like untreated bipolar or borderline personality disorder. But of course this is 100% conjecture on my part.
LA Murphy 1 year ago
If I had to guess, not bipolar, but untreated schizophrenia. He may have been on meds and went off and had a psychotic episode. I have a relative with schizophrenia and similar behavior happens when they go off their meds.
Load More Replies...
Historyharlot93 1 year ago
As a person with bipolar, I’m getting sick of every kind of a*****e behavior being attributed to mental illness. This guy may have mental problems, or he could just be a jerk who knew exactly what he was doing.
#30
Being friends with someone they know is cheating on their significant other.
Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
I sent a photo of a friend's BF with his arm around some woman I'd never met, they were seriously making out when I walked into the restaurant. Friend says that's his sister, so I asked her, "Does he always kiss his sister with tongue?" Kept insisting it was the sister. I never contacted her again. Gots no time for stupid.
So, what are your thoughts on any of this? Ruined your reputation recently and need to run by your bounce-back plan? Share your stories and takes in the comment section below!
And if you want more, here’s another piece about regret.
#31
Took a screenshot of what I had every right to assume was a private conversation when i was having a meltdown and shared it with a mutual friend. (More his friend than mine) Any faith and trust I had in him just died.
Nae who and where 1 year ago
I'm just going to say this once. No matter how icky it is to do.....once you send something or post something, you no longer have control over it.
Rebecca Joan 1 year ago
True, but a real friend wouldn’t show something personal without consent of the person who sent it.
Load More Replies...
never-wake-up (fae/faer) 1 year ago
Sharing even benign private conversations is weird overall and unnecessary, but a meltdown ? wow. I once sent a friend a message asking what colours she preferred for the bracelet i wanted to make her, and she screenshotted and put her on her story. Harmless, but made me uncomfortable as hell. I can't imagine with something like a meltdown
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago
Meltdown can imply so much, but I’ve witnessed it used in the ASD community quite a bit. I pretty much assume “meltdown” doesn’t mean “tantrum” but instead a neurodivergent result of not being able to self-sooth/regulate in high-anxiety situations. Also, it doesn’t typically present as “throwing a fit,” but is often more an internal reaction that has external expressions.
Load More Replies...
#32
So... this is a little over 10 years ago. right before my GF and start dating. My very first GF and I are talking, flirting, and kissing... but I'm 2 years off a bad relationship that left me voluntarily single. So I'm still taking things slow. Not at all my MO. I want her, she wants me. There's a prince song like that. Things are escalating. I introduce he to some of my friends. One day she says something bigoted about lesbians. I inquire more... doubles down. I had a really high opinion of this woman, she accomplished a lot considering various b******t. Broke it off the next day, told her why. My lesbian friends would hang out with my mom without me sometimes. The f**k if I need that kinda evil in my life.
Flora Porter 1 year ago
Maybe just ignorance and indoctrination rather than evil? Sounds like both were very young. I'd have wanted to unpick that.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
Ignorance and indoctrination are some of the ways people become evil.
Load More Replies...
#33
Mentioning either zodiac or Briggs-Meyers as being a big factor in evaluating new people in your life.
I've also recently heard people call Briggs-Meyers "Zodiac for white collar people" and I can't slam that like button hard enough.
Ansi 1 year ago
When people IRL, online, tv says "It's typical traits for *insert my starsign*". I just laugh and laugh because how untrue it is.
nottheactualphoto 1 year ago
And all this time I thought it was Briggs and Stratton
Load More Replies... LA Murphy 1 year ago
We had a president who consulted psychics and astrologists in the White House.
Phil Hoyt 1 year ago
You mean FDR, right? "President Roosevelt received guidance from psychic readings regarding political matters before and during World War II. "
Load More Replies... #34
First date, I was walking around a park with a dude with a cold brew. We knew one another socially and had a good rapport and I liked him. It was a nice spring day and I was feeling it. So was he. I let him lead the conversation which just spiraled into a childhood trauma dump so I tried to redirect which didn’t work. He accused me of being insensitive and selfish. I keep my phone on silent so I made a ring noise with my mouth, pulled my phone out and said “Oh that’s not an emergency but I should probably tend to it” and left.
Later he told a mutual friend how big of an a*****e I was and when I explained my side, the conclusion was “Well you’re not a therapist.”.
Dij 1 year ago (edited)
The guy was making her uncomfortable and insulted her when she expressed it. Using trauma as an excuse to make someone uncomfortable and insult them when they request you stop is the real douchebag move.
Load More Replies...
ColdSteelRonin 1 year ago
This is why men don't like to show vulnerability and weakness. He was with someone that stated they had a good rapport, he was feeling comfortable and let his guard down. Then was dismissed outright. This same thing happened to me with a woman I had been in a six month relationship and I ended it that night.
Niamh Gallagher Kerr 1 year ago
6 months is very different to first date especially with someone who you know socially. You don't know the story of the OP, there could be a background. If someone was trying to have a conversation with me, that I didn't know well, that made me feel uncomfortable I'd try to redirect the conversation but if necessarily I'd remove myself from the conversation. I'm sorry however that your partner reacted how she did.
Load More Replies... Dij 1 year ago
It was a first date. She barely knew him. Don't trauma dump on people you aren't close to.
Load More Replies...
#35
A long time friend who had been dating around ended up getting back with a guy who she dated years prior, he got married, then while still married got back with the friend. As soon as they became official she no longer had a personality or opinion for herself. She let this man be her mouth piece and he drove away all her friends by telling her they were no good and weren't on their team etc. We had a miscommunication and she refused to address it like an adult and instead let him do the talking for her because "she didn't like confrontation". I lost respect for her when she didn't have any for herself and got with a dude who was still married but I lost all respect for her when she couldn't communicate like an actual adult. Good riddance.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
I'm pretty sure that your friend was a victim. I further feel that something else had happened to her prior to this that led to this happening and her self esteem being worn away until there was nothing left. I hope she was able to escape
What do you think ?
Jason 1 year ago
Dad's girlfriend basically nailed all the red flags in the first meeting. Standard stuff like rude to waiters, asking everyone how much money they make and how she was so rich, list goes on. My brother has a pretty significant life altering disease, she told him if he prayed enough he wouldn't be sick. Then for my health issues told me if I pulled my hair a bit it would solve them.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
She worked at a job that was absolutely destroying her mental health, and would tell us about how hard it all was. They treated her so poorly, but because they did it with such nice words, she made excuses every time we told her she had to get out of there. She grew so mentally unwell (a big part of it being due to work exhaustion) that her SO had to leave her for the sake of his own health and well-being. She was sucking the air out of all our lungs, asking for advice, agreeing with us but never putting any effort toward using that advise, crying and scream-sighing our ears off. We stuck with her because "that's what friends do" right? ++++++++++++++++++++++++ That's the set up. This is what ended it for me: She got promoted to hiring. We were all SO relieved for her! Salary, benefits, she had the option to do some work from home, and was PROMISED she wouldn't be on shift work anymore. Just one month in, not only has she been asked to take days back on the floor, but she started scoffing at and complaining about the turnover rate of new hires. She openly mocked one (to us) for how he left because he couldn't handle the constant unpredictable shift in scheduling; one of the very things that broke HER. She followed this story up with "people just don't want to work any more." And I was just... Done. She finally had enough pull that she could have affected real change, and instead decided to act like it had never been "that bad" ++++++++++++++++++++++++ Also, fūck you JimmyJohn's. Also, to that one guy she hired who took the job just to get the free sandwich they give to first day employees? Damn legend. Dude left right after his sandwich was made and didn't come back LOL.
Tobias Reaper 1 year ago (edited)
i had a big crush on this girl at a place i used to work and from what i could tell she liked me as well until one day when having a conversation she told me she had always wanted to cut off someone's head i assumed she was joking and laughed but she told me she was serious any attraction i had for very quickly evaporated and i stopped talking to her
Do-nut touch da donut 1 year ago
Had a friend in school who i thought was really cool... one day while on a skii trip my mum pulls up a vid of someone recording my lil brother fighting this kid, and no one intervened! Worse than that SHE WAS THE ONE RECORDING!... some time later my brother and one of his best friends at the time got in a fight and i jumped between the two of them shouting at them to split it up while the friends younger brother encouraged the fight... well i turn my head just to check behind me and i see this las (who i thought was the coolest girl ever) RECORDING THIS FIGHT mind u it hasnt been 3 minutes... i turn my attention to her and screamed at her to stop recording... after that day, my image of her turned into the image of an imature child... ugh
VOTE if you live in the USA 1 year ago
I recently noticed that a friend of mine always complains about her kids and when she tells me stories about them it's made me realize that I think she's a mean mom.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago (edited)
Idiotic hypocrite "co-workers". When THEY want something, it's "RIGHT F_CKING NOW!!!" When I want/need something, two weeks later they STILL haven't done it (despite my repeated asking), preventing my from doing my job, then whining "wHy HaVen'T YoU dONe It??!?!?" I'm not perfect, but for suck's fake, at least I'm not a hypocrite and do what's asked of me. When my contract is up, I'm leaving without notice.
cugel. 1 year ago (edited)
Some celebrity who you think is cool, then you find out they're a smoker, drug nut or religious nut.
Michelle my Belle. 1 year ago
Why in the world would you care if some celebrity smokes?
Load More Replies... Olli Hawk 1 year ago
I met this dude (through another friend in my friend group) who I thought was super nice and cool, but the whole time I was talking to him, a third friend I was with seemed pretty uncomfortable, a little bit later she pulled me aside and showed me messages that she had with that dude, and the guy had tried to cheat on his gf with her. I lost all respect for him
John Dilligaf 1 year ago
my cousin's then boyfriend. He and I actually hit it off pretty good. bonded over fishing, hunting, sports other "male stuff". Then one day we were all at cousin's daughter's soccer game. Cousin's boyfriend whispered to me how much he loved girl's soccer because "those loose shorts & shirts, sometimes you get a free show".
Giraffy Window 1 year ago
Please tell me you spoke up? Or that he got buried later that day? Please tell me you... heard... he got buried later that day.
Load More Replies...
BoredPamda 1 year ago
Started off as good friends with my roommate in grad school-- we would buy wine and chocolate and have movie nights in our PJs when we were stressed. She was a little bitter at her dad for cheating on her mom. My roommate absolutely adored her boyfriend because she knew he would never cheat, but the second my roommate found Tinder, she was swiping right.
Jason 1 year ago
Dad's girlfriend basically nailed all the red flags in the first meeting. Standard stuff like rude to waiters, asking everyone how much money they make and how she was so rich, list goes on. My brother has a pretty significant life altering disease, she told him if he prayed enough he wouldn't be sick. Then for my health issues told me if I pulled my hair a bit it would solve them.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago (edited)
She worked at a job that was absolutely destroying her mental health, and would tell us about how hard it all was. They treated her so poorly, but because they did it with such nice words, she made excuses every time we told her she had to get out of there. She grew so mentally unwell (a big part of it being due to work exhaustion) that her SO had to leave her for the sake of his own health and well-being. She was sucking the air out of all our lungs, asking for advice, agreeing with us but never putting any effort toward using that advise, crying and scream-sighing our ears off. We stuck with her because "that's what friends do" right? ++++++++++++++++++++++++ That's the set up. This is what ended it for me: She got promoted to hiring. We were all SO relieved for her! Salary, benefits, she had the option to do some work from home, and was PROMISED she wouldn't be on shift work anymore. Just one month in, not only has she been asked to take days back on the floor, but she started scoffing at and complaining about the turnover rate of new hires. She openly mocked one (to us) for how he left because he couldn't handle the constant unpredictable shift in scheduling; one of the very things that broke HER. She followed this story up with "people just don't want to work any more." And I was just... Done. She finally had enough pull that she could have affected real change, and instead decided to act like it had never been "that bad" ++++++++++++++++++++++++ Also, fūck you JimmyJohn's. Also, to that one guy she hired who took the job just to get the free sandwich they give to first day employees? Damn legend. Dude left right after his sandwich was made and didn't come back LOL.
Tobias Reaper 1 year ago (edited)
i had a big crush on this girl at a place i used to work and from what i could tell she liked me as well until one day when having a conversation she told me she had always wanted to cut off someone's head i assumed she was joking and laughed but she told me she was serious any attraction i had for very quickly evaporated and i stopped talking to her
Do-nut touch da donut 1 year ago
Had a friend in school who i thought was really cool... one day while on a skii trip my mum pulls up a vid of someone recording my lil brother fighting this kid, and no one intervened! Worse than that SHE WAS THE ONE RECORDING!... some time later my brother and one of his best friends at the time got in a fight and i jumped between the two of them shouting at them to split it up while the friends younger brother encouraged the fight... well i turn my head just to check behind me and i see this las (who i thought was the coolest girl ever) RECORDING THIS FIGHT mind u it hasnt been 3 minutes... i turn my attention to her and screamed at her to stop recording... after that day, my image of her turned into the image of an imature child... ugh
VOTE if you live in the USA 1 year ago
I recently noticed that a friend of mine always complains about her kids and when she tells me stories about them it's made me realize that I think she's a mean mom.
Guess Undheit 1 year ago (edited)
Idiotic hypocrite "co-workers". When THEY want something, it's "RIGHT F_CKING NOW!!!" When I want/need something, two weeks later they STILL haven't done it (despite my repeated asking), preventing my from doing my job, then whining "wHy HaVen'T YoU dONe It??!?!?" I'm not perfect, but for suck's fake, at least I'm not a hypocrite and do what's asked of me. When my contract is up, I'm leaving without notice.
cugel. 1 year ago (edited)
Some celebrity who you think is cool, then you find out they're a smoker, drug nut or religious nut.
Michelle my Belle. 1 year ago
Why in the world would you care if some celebrity smokes?
Load More Replies... Olli Hawk 1 year ago
I met this dude (through another friend in my friend group) who I thought was super nice and cool, but the whole time I was talking to him, a third friend I was with seemed pretty uncomfortable, a little bit later she pulled me aside and showed me messages that she had with that dude, and the guy had tried to cheat on his gf with her. I lost all respect for him
John Dilligaf 1 year ago
my cousin's then boyfriend. He and I actually hit it off pretty good. bonded over fishing, hunting, sports other "male stuff". Then one day we were all at cousin's daughter's soccer game. Cousin's boyfriend whispered to me how much he loved girl's soccer because "those loose shorts & shirts, sometimes you get a free show".
Giraffy Window 1 year ago
Please tell me you spoke up? Or that he got buried later that day? Please tell me you... heard... he got buried later that day.
Load More Replies... BoredPamda 1 year ago
Started off as good friends with my roommate in grad school-- we would buy wine and chocolate and have movie nights in our PJs when we were stressed. She was a little bitter at her dad for cheating on her mom. My roommate absolutely adored her boyfriend because she knew he would never cheat, but the second my roommate found Tinder, she was swiping right.
You May Like Inflation Jokes That Grow In Value With Time Americans Shared 33 Things Other People Need To Know About What’s Going On In The US
Aivaras Kaziukonis
Rugilė Žemaitytė
Related on Bored Panda
