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A Sobering Look Inside The Families Of ICE Agents As 32 People Share Their True Feelings
In these trying times, we find ourselves quoting Smash Mouth a little more than we’d like. "My world's on fire, how 'bout yours?” That pretty much sums up the vibe since Harambe got shot. But for the most part, it felt like global issues have been just that, global. Something we normies just can’t do a damn thing about.
But what happens when the literal, five-alarm fire at the center of the national conversation is a little closer to home? Even under your own roof? An online community posed this exact, incredibly loaded question to the family members of ICE agents.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Throwaway for obvious reasons.
I work for ICE, currently. I am demoralized and horrified at what is going on. I constantly ask myself if I should leave and decide on NO. Why?
If I quit they will replace me with someone who might ignore a pesky detail like a suspects rights. Just the other day I told a local police department they cant hold someone on one of our administrative warrants, and I know a proud boy would have "overlooked" that and had the PD hold the guy. These new guys coming in wont stop being jerks when Trump leaves office, and a lot of my coworkers feel like they gotta stay to make sure things go back to being sane.
Damn Trump. Damn the Barbie he put in charge, and damn Homan. I swore an oath to the constitution just like they did, but I refuse to wipe my behind with it just because the dictator decided he doesn't like brown people.
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#2
Im always reminded that when my sister tried to join ICE she was deemed unfit during the psych evaluation for being too empathetic but passed all the physical qualifications.
That was in the early 2000’s when it was just forming.
That tells you ALL you need to know about how much of a psychopath you need to be to be accepted. This is especially true when you realize they LOWERED THE STANDARDS under Trump because they couldn’t get enough qualified people to join. .
#3
My older brother who is technically a white nationalist is a mexican boy from san diego who believes over half the people around him are leeches and illegals and that by putting them “where they belong” will suddenly make him more successful. He was kicked out of police academy for something I was never told but he swears it was some “black guy” with a vendetta. He just recently joined ICE but he got arrested for substance charges last week, meanwhile my sister gets detained by ICE for a couple hours visiting her bf and he victim blames her saying she dresses gay and weird so she’s an obvious suspect. Needless to say ICE is where dumb hateful cucks go to feel important.
Before you can even begin to argue about it, it helps to know what "it" even is. U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement, or ICE, is actually a surprisingly young agency. According to its own official history, it wasn't created until 2003. It was born from the great, post-9/11 government shake-up that gave us the Department of Homeland Security.
Essentially, the government took parts of the old Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) and the U.S. Customs Service, smashed them together, and gave them a new, much more intimidating name. It was the bureaucratic glow-up nobody asked for. This messy origin story is the key to understanding a distinction that many family members in the online thread desperately tried to make.
They explain that ICE has two very different "legs." One is Homeland Security Investigations (HSI), the part that goes after the "real baddies" like human traffickers and drug cartels. The other is Enforcement and Removal Operations (ERO), which is the arm that deals with immigration enforcement, the part we see in the headlines. For many of the families, this distinction is everything.
#4
If the Trump administration really wanted to set an example with their immigration policy, they would've deported convicted felon and sex pest, Ghislaine Maxwell. I mean, she wasn't born here...
#5
Had a friend who, after he graduated, joined ICE. he never struck me as a MAGA or some right wing extremist, so i talked to him about. He said the money was the biggest factor. he didnt go through any training that was mandatory and since im working in mental health, dude came over to my home just so he can practice de-escalation.
So i taught him de-escalation and painless/soft restraints. Last time i heard from him, he said he was going to try and get a different job as he couldnt handle all of the screaming and shouting. Honestly i was just shocked he wasnt trained at all. He didnt even know basic restraining techniques (Grab by the upper chest, with your body behind the person, lean back, so they cant hit themselves or others. Painless.) If he didnt come to me, dude would probably break down in tears after some of the stuff i heard he goes through.
Tabitha 1 day ago
Aside from the truly cruel and twisted psychopaths who would do the work just for fun with no paycheck (which to them just makes doing what they love even better), I was worried that that sign on bonus would be too good for otherwise decent normal people interested in law enforcement and seeking a first job in the field would be tempted to apply. They’re the ones like OP’s friend here, who are tanking emotionally from what happens at work; what their fellow agents are doing and what their bosses are ordering them to do. Because it all goes completely against how the majority of us are taught to behave toward our fellow human beings. My hope is that people like that get themselves out quickly and find real employment elsewhere—-though I wouldn’t put ICE on my resume. I hope the time they’re employed there is short enough that they can tweak their resumes to leave their time with ICE off and adequately explain the gap.
#6
My uncle worked for ICE for about 15 years before he retired last year. Family dinners got... complicated.
Here's the thing nobody really talks about: the job attracts two very different types of people. There are folks who genuinely believe they're protecting communities and following the law as written, and then there are people who were probably looking for any job where they could exercise authority over vulnerable populations. My uncle was the former, but he'd come home with stories about the latter that made his stomach turn.
He told me once about a case where they picked up a guy who'd been in the country for 20 years, owned a small restaurant, employed like a dozen people, had kids in college. No criminal record beyond the immigration violation. The guy's daughter showed up at the detention center and my uncle said watching her beg to see her dad through the glass was one of the worst moments of his career. He processed the paperwork because that was his job, but he stopped sleeping well after that.
The cognitive dissonance was real. He'd justify it by saying "I don't make the laws, I just enforce them," but you could see it eating at him. He'd talk about actual dangerous people they'd caught—gang members, people with violent records—and feel good about that work. Then in the next breath he'd mention a grandmother getting picked up at a routine check-in after 30 years here, and he'd just... go quiet.
What really got to me was how the job changed him. He used to be this warm, joking guy who'd give anyone the shirt off his back. By year 12 or 13, he'd become harder. More suspicious. Started talking about people as "illegals" instead of using their names. My aunt said he'd have nightmares and wouldn't talk about them.
He retired early. Didn't even make it to his full pension. Last Thanksgiving he'd had a few drinks and admitted he wasn't sure anymore if he'd done more harm than good. Said the hardest part wasn't the job itself—it was realizing that following orders doesn't absolve you of responsibility for the outcomes.
I don't have a clean answer here. I love my uncle. I also think the system he was part of is fundamentally broken and causes immense suffering. Both things are true, and I've had to learn to hold that tension without resolving it neatly.
Tabitha 1 day ago (edited)
ICE was never a good idea. We already had immigration and border control. ICE was started as a paramilitary division that would break people’s doors down—-way too many time they were the WRONG people’s doors, btw—-and just take people away. The only difference to now is that they USED to not cover their faces, they wore easily identifiable uniforms, with IDs and ICE clearly printed or embroidered on the outside in bright yellow letters, and they ALWAYS identified themselves verbally, presented a judicial warrant (administrative warrants are worthless, and if ICE or any law enforcement can only produce an administrative warrant, they do NOT have the authority to come into your home, so do not open your door u less the warrant they show you is signed by a judge, and not one of their own bosses. In other words, they used to follow normal law enforcement rules and procedures, so the arrests would be lawful. They also would back down immediately if they got the wrong address, or wrong person, or the right last known address but the person they were after had moved out long ago and totally new and innocent people are occupying it now. Yes, they used to back right down if they were in the wrong, or they didn’t have the specific warrant they needed to proceed. Those are the things that have changed, and have changed ICE from a department that followed the rule of law into a lawless band of thugs.
The controversy surrounding the agency has led a lot of people to ask the same question: what kind of person actually wants to be an ICE agent? This question became the center of a media firestorm in 2026 when a journalist for Slate decided to find out for herself. She applied for a job with ICE, sailed through the initial stages, and was offered a position.
This was despite her being an anti-ICE journalist and not having produced the necessary documents. She even thought she might fail the drug test but got enlisted regardless. The story was intended to be an inside look at the agency, but it also raised a few eyebrows. Critics from all sides accused the reporter of everything from unethical journalism to taking a job away from a potential applicant.
But the uncomfortable question at the heart of the controversy was how someone with no apparent qualifications or ideological commitment to the mission could get so far, so fast. It solidified the public perception, rightly or wrongly, that the agency was less a team of elite, specialized agents and more a group of people who simply checked the right boxes on an application.
#7
My brother. He went nuts one time when I posted a definition of tyranny on Facebook. I didn’t tag him, didn’t include him in any way. He just saw the definition and took it personally. Later, when I was expressing concerns about my wife, who is an immigrant, he physically attacked me. That’s the kind of person they’re recruiting.
#8
My brother-in-law worked for ICE (past tense). Worked there for decades. He quit about a year ago right before Trump took office. He said “the writing is on the wall and I’m not going to stick around and let my job turn me into a bad guy”.
Looks like he was right.
For the record, he spent his career working on busting substance smuggling, towards the end it was exclusively focused on hard substances. He wasn’t looking for undocumented people.
#9
A cousin of mine who it British but lives in the states announced the other month that he was considering joining ICE.
My grandmother - a woman that lived in the UK illegally for 60years before getting citizenship - and his own mother let it be known that if he ever returns to the UK he will not be welcome by any family because of the shame he has brought with his ridiculous right wing views.
His own brothers have also warned him not to return to the UK.
Drop Bear from Hell 18 hours ago
It would be so ironic if he was deported to the UK and had nothing waiting for him.
One of the most common and sympathetic arguments from family members in the thread is that their loved one isn't a political zealot; they're just a pragmatist. In a tough economy, a stable, well-paying federal job with a good pension is the holy grail. For many, the choice to join ICE is a practical decision to secure a comfortable, middle-class life for their family.
And when you look at the numbers, that argument becomes a lot more compelling. A quick glance at a USAJOBS posting for an ICE Deportation Officer shows a starting salary that can range from $55,000 to over $90,000 a year, depending on location and qualifications. Now, compare that to a young person enlisting in the military, and you might start to see the appeal.
According to the official military pay charts, a new recruit starts at a base pay of around $24,000 a year. While the military offers housing and food allowances, the take-home salary is a fraction of what a federal law enforcement agent makes. When you frame it that way, the choice becomes less about ideology and more about a well-paying job without the life-or-death risks of military deployment.
#10
A guy I knew in college was a marine interdiction agent driving boats out of Long Beach intercepting suspected shipments of drugs into the country. He loved it and said it felt meaningful. He left last spring a few moths after Trump took office. He said he was told by his supervisors that in the next few months he was going to be transferred off the boat and onto the streets as a deportation officer. He said he was Border Patrol and not ICE. They said it really wasn't up to them. So he left. He's piloting some whale watching cruises now.
Michael Largey 1 day ago
The Trump administration has little patience for Marine interdiction. They just blast anyone they choose out of the water. And then come back to k**l any survivors.
#11
My cousin and his wife have been Cali border patrol for over a 15 years. They are terrible parents, both stuck in teenager mentalities, and both pretentious stuck up duchebags. My cousin likes to tell stories about chasing people down in the desert.
I haven't seen them in 5 years and the last time I did, i got in an argument with him about how most of the world actually DOESN'T support the US invading them cause the US is 'not that bad' compared to most other armies. Like bruh, no.
Michael Largey 1 day ago
Yeah, our bullets are so much cuter than the ones other armies shoot at people.
#12
I had a friend who started working for CBP/ICE before all this started. He still works there now so we are not friends. He has adopted Latino children too, how could you look at your kids during your court appointed visitation after you just ruined thousands of people’s lives for looking like your kids? How do you explain that to teenagers you’re supposed to protect?
There's a famous, and famously blunt, piece of advice that comedian Ricky Gervais once gave to a room full of A-listers: "You're in no position to lecture the public about anything. You know nothing about the real world." For a long time, that was the prevailing wisdom: celebrities should stick to acting and singing and leave the politics to the politicians.
But when it comes to an issue as emotionally charged as immigration policy, a new generation of stars has decided that silence is not an option. At the 2026 Grammy Awards, the red carpet was filled with artists using their platform to speak out directly against ICE. Winners like Bad Bunny and Billy Eilish made powerful statements, wearing protest symbols and using their acceptance speeches to draw attention to the issue.
They represent a major shift in celebrity culture, a move away from the carefully neutral, brand-safe celebrity of recent years. They are taking a page from the books of Jane Fonda and John Lennon, diving into outspoken activism to prove that some issues are just too important to ignore, no matter how famous you are.
#13
My uncle has worked for ICE for over a decade. He is a piece of garbage and I remind my family that he will suffer in the afterlife for what he has done. I haven't talked to him for atleast 7 years.
Edit: Yes, I agree that he should suffer in this lifetime too, multiple times over for the amount of pain and suffering he has caused families.
Tabitha 1 day ago
Just wait for the 21st century equivalent of the Nuremberg Trials to happen, once this nightmare is finally over. Ain’t no pardons goin’ to be given to THESE criminals, from the boss hog at the top of the trough all the way down to the lowest little piglet at the bottom. We will make them ALL pay.
#14
So I was a contractor for ICE up until September. The long story short is my mom had terminal cancer, and I was at risk of being let go from my government contract if I didn’t take the contract at ICE. I needed the money to take care of my mom. She unfortunately passed away and I stayed for a few months while I was grieving.
So I think people need to be specific on what part of ICE they are talking about. There are two main branches HSI (homeland security investigations) and ERO (enforcement and removal operations). ERO are the guys in the streets.
HSI handled a lot of white collar crimes and things dealing with contraband materials coming into the country. This administration has shifted them over to handling stuff in the streets. And the open secret of HSI is they don’t like what they are doing. And view it was a waste of taxpayer money.
ERO is the devil.
I think what ICE is doing abhorrent and evil, and though I wasn’t directly involved I also do deserve to be held accountable for my actions. And I believe answering questions like this is part of my penance.
Edit: being downvoted for actually answering the actual question
Edit: let me clarify, they are pulling people from HSI and CBP to do the patrols and deportations for ICE as well.
#15
I'm a teacher and a few months back our students had a walkout to protest ICE due to a prominent local figure being arrested and deported. Pretty much everyone went outside, even kids who really didn't care, because it meant they could skip a class without any real consequence.
I was covering a class of kids I really didn't know after the protest. One kid said to another "Hey, how come you didn't go out?" and he meekly and quietly responded "My dad works for ICE."
I felt bad for the kid, and he was clearly uncomfortable with it.
At the end of the day, after all the politics, the headlines, and the celebrity protests, you're still left with one, beautifully awkward question: what on earth do you talk about at Thanksgiving? The stories from these families are all about the art of the subject change, the delicate dance of navigating a conversation with someone you love who happens to have a job at the center of a national crisis.
It’s a uniquely modern American dilemma, a high-stakes version of the dinner table arguments we all know and love. It really makes you wonder, if you can’t talk about the weather, and you definitely can’t talk about work, what’s left? Just the mashed potatoes? Whatever you do, don't ask for ICE in your drink.
Do you have a family member leading the charge? Or maybe you are grappling with your own involvement? Share your thoughts in the comments!
#16
My brother works for ICE. I am pissed at him and generally don't talk to him. He started going full MAGA just before joining ICE and completely drinks the cool-aid now. He dropped out of college, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised. He lives in another state, so I don't have to associate with him. He talks to my other family members about how all immigrants are serious and dangerous criminals and he thinks he's doing God's work. He refuses to see that Jesus actually taught us to love our neighbor (i.e. immigrants).
Michael Largey 1 day ago
Jesus was an immigrant and a refugee one at that. His family fled to Egypt to escape Herod.
#17
I have three cousins that work for ICE and at least one friend's spouse. They all work in more specialized roles like human trafficking, substances, and cybersecurity.
They're all pissed at the new policies. To quote one of them "You want me arresting and deporting the guy doing your roof rather that intercepting substance shipments? How does that make us more safe?"
EDIT: Just removed a detail I decided I shouldn't have shared about where they are in the organization. Probably too little too late, but whatever.
Edit 2: I am well aware that they are morally complicit and I am deeply disappointed that they are. If I were in their position, I probably would have quit.
#18
I was a test proctor that would proctor ICE exams' about 13yrs ago. I saw it then. They were the biggest abusers out of everyone coming through the testing center. Everyone had to follow the rules which meant no hats, no paper, not jewelry etc. They would have a meltdown every time. I actually quit because of them because of how awful they were. I was not very political then and actually didn't even know what they did. I just remember them for being bullies. BTW... people testing for insurance certifications were the best!
#19
If you's have any passing interest, look up the Black and Tans and how they were deployed in Ireland around 1920. The similarities to ICE (their recruitment and brutality towards normal people) is shocking.
Spoiler alert, they were DESPISED by the Irish, and have gone down in history as unqualified thugs, given a license to dispense their cruelty.
Michael Largey 1 day ago
My grandmother (a Catholic from Belfast) told us horror stories about them. Their legacy is responsible for much of the bitterness and violence in Northern Ireland. I've had family members held hostage by the IRA, but their experience was nothing compared to the one who fell into the hands of the Black and Tan's successors.
#20
My closeted racist cousin’s husband joined and dropped the news at Christmas. It went over like a lead balloon.
He’s an ex PA state trooper who foolishly quit to open a brewery (failed) and a restaurant (failing). He’s also a degenerate gambler who likely has large gambling debts.
He signed up because of the $50k bonus and overtime opportunities. Figured he can make $150k-$200k this year. Nevermind he has to relocate to Michigan and is leaving my cousin to close down the restaurant, sell their home, and wrap up her nursing career at the local hospital.
Her parents completely disapprove and this is both their second marriages. Doing whatever it takes to make it work but going right over the cliff in the process with him.
It makes me sad because she’s attractive and always has had a good career & work ethic. Just married two guys who are incredibly poor husbands.
#21
Exactly what you would think. My bigoted, hateful, sociopath of a BIL was military for 20 years and did “contract” jobs for the federal government. He still is so I highly suspect he’s part of it. I’m waiting to see him show up on the lists to confirm my suspicions. We’re no contact with that side so I only hear rumblings from other family to what he’s up to.
Janelle Collard 19 hours ago
Sometimes it's better not to know anything so the looney tunes don't come after you.
#22
As a need to share this with someone, my uncle recently mentioned to my mom that he was considering joining.
He came here in the 90s, along with his brother, as undocumented folks. They’ve had a number of undocumented folks in their family. But of course he thinks that now things are different. Screw him.
Tabitha 1 day ago (edited)
ICE will probably use the job interview as a way to entice him into their lair and arrest him on the spot if he can’t prove his citizenship. If I was him, I wouldn’t do it, regardless of the carrot they dangle with that sign in bonus—-which they don’t pay out right away, because you have to work for them a long time to get it in tiny increments here and there—-and even then they’ll probably come up with some ridiculous reason not to pay you.
#23
I don't have family, but we had friends over the other day and the daughter came over, she just got out of the army.
She had friends that also just got out, and quite a few joined ICE... i was like WTF???
The example of the kid that joined was:
**"He has 4 kids and needs the money"** he was also Hispanic not not a natural born citizen, it was 100% for the money.
We have s lot of desperate people in this nation...
Michael Largey 1 day ago
One can be Hispanic and a natural born citizen. In the western states, they were there first.
#24
Cousin who took up with ICE 6mos ago, he is the black sheep of the family to begin with, hyper insecure, always been a gun guy, security guard at few different places, always a bit fearful of things.
#25
I have a second cousin in CBP that I spent a lot of time with as a kid. He was a bully as a kid, he’s still a bully 35 years later.
#26
Ooo! I can contribute!!! My cousin has been with Border Patrol (I know, not exactly ICE, but they work pretty closely), for 25 years! I just talked with her on the phone.
She went from going after actual criminals, and the absolute worst scum here illegally…..to going after little old lady housekeepers and people who have been here for decades that are easy to locate, and deporting them. SHE HATED IT. Finally retired. Said all her co workers who used to enjoy going after the bad guys are now also retiring or leaving.
Trump has them going after low hanging fruit. And she also said the people they are hiring are incompetent and no background checks.
Her last month of retirement, two of the new hires had to be escorted out when it was discovered 1 of them beat up the bus driver transporting from the academy. The other one, come to find out, was a violent serial rapist.
She was so happy to turn in her badge and gun.
#27
My sister in law just joined (who I do love very much). It’s heartbreaking for me in a way I can’t describe. She lives in Kansas and is a college grad, but couldn’t find work anywhere and is excited for benefits. I told her that once she works for ICE, she’ll never find work ever again. Once the dust settles, this is basically the Scarlett A.
Michael Largey 1 day ago
OP wildly overestimates the the ethics of businesses. Showing a willingness to execute orders no matter what they are is a plus to too many employers.
#28
My nephew just started community college and he's been having a really hard time finding a job (about a year now) - he called me crying because he has gotten a flyer or something to go work for ice but he doesn't want everyone to hate him. I'm still funneling him as much money as I can since nobody else can. It does really feel that they're trying to create desperation to increase applications.
Glen Ellyn 15 hours ago
Yep, it's the $$$. I really wish those bounties they get for arresting someone would stop. But especially if they've arrested an American citizen.
#29
I have a brother in ICE and one that’s Border Patrol. They’ve both been with their respective units for a long time but I’ve still cut them out of my life. Haven’t spoken to either in a year. They both voted for this, told my sister that “Trump was good for their job.” I guess becoming a pig is cool if it’s good for your pocketbook.
#30
My uncle works for ICE and he's a good man who genuinely believes he's protecting the country, but he's also the same guy who calls his own sister "hysterical" when she gets upset. The real problem is that the job attracts people who are already wired to see threats everywhere, and it just reinforces that worldview. It's not about good or bad people, it's about how the system itself rewards a certain kind of paranoia.
#31
A journalist was offered a job with little vetting, a failed substance test, and dates of “passing background checks” after her start date
Glen Ellyn 15 hours ago
I remember this story. They listed them as working when they never actually accepted the job.
#32
I’m disgusted by my father. I feel burdened by what he’s doing. Even if he’s one of the few that are not directly involved in the chaos happening on the streets of Minnesota, he’s still working in CBP.
Glen Ellyn 15 hours ago
Hang in there. What he's doing has nothing to do with you, although I do understand your feelings. Minnesota and Minneapolis are showing us how it's done, and they're doing it for all of us.
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Alexandra 1 day ago
Here is where the lack of historical awareness kicks in: ask around in Europe and everyone knows what 'I'm just following orders' leads to. At least they can't say "Ich habe es nicht gewusst"...
Marnie 1 day ago
'I'm just following orders' is a story unto itself in the US, also. It's just that some people are actually being straight up lied to about what's happening. Like straight-up lied to. That's the biggest problem.
Load More Replies...
Big Chungus 1 day ago
It's sad because people are so desperate to have work that this is what it's coming to
Alexandra 1 day ago
Here is where the lack of historical awareness kicks in: ask around in Europe and everyone knows what 'I'm just following orders' leads to. At least they can't say "Ich habe es nicht gewusst"...
Marnie 1 day ago
'I'm just following orders' is a story unto itself in the US, also. It's just that some people are actually being straight up lied to about what's happening. Like straight-up lied to. That's the biggest problem.
Load More Replies... Big Chungus 1 day ago
It's sad because people are so desperate to have work that this is what it's coming to
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