Man Thinks He Shouldn’t Have To Disrupt His Plans To “Cater To His Wife” After Family Emergency Leaves Her Anxious And Alone Interview With Author
Whenever there’s a family emergency, having your loved ones by your side can give you a strong sense of support that helps keep the fear at bay. And even if they aren’t physically there, just having them check in and knowing that they’re thinking of you and yours can give you the strength to push through tough times.
Redditor u/PrettyHateMachinexxx recently went viral after sharing how her husband, who was out of state for a college reunion, behaved even though he knew there was a family emergency going on. Read on for the full story, how the internet reacted, and keep an eye out for the pleasantly positive ending. Bored Panda reached out to the author of the viral post, redditor u/PrettyHateMachinexxx, and she was kind enough to share her thoughts on working through arguments, having uncomfortable conversations, and how to make up after a fight. Scroll down for our full interview with the OP.
Checking in with your loved ones when there’s a family emergency can have a massively positive impact. The opposite is also true
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
A woman turned to the internet for advice after sharing how her husband was hard to reach when he left for a reunion
Image credits: Tembela Bohle (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Oscar Ritter (not the actual photo)
The author of the post later shared a very important update
Image credits: PrettyHateMachinexxx
The couple had a very in-depth conversation about what happened
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
We were interested to get redditor u/PrettyHateMachinexxx’s thoughts on why her post made such a big splash on the internet. “I think it blew up because there is a fair amount of nuance to both sides and what people feel is the duty of a supportive partner and it more or less became a moral issue,” she told Bored Panda.
“Whether the supportive partner should handle everything on their own so that their significant other can have fun or if the partner should check in on their SO when they’re not physically there because they know that they’re struggling,” she explained the dilemma. “People feel strongly about what the roles of a partner and parent should be.”
The author of the post had some great insights about navigating tough arguments in long-term relationships.
“The more you get used to having uncomfortable conversations, the less uncomfortable they become. We are not perfect, but my partner and I do sit down and have difficult conversations, we wait until we have both calmed down,” she shared some practical advice.
“In arguments, don’t call names or say mean things. Yelling louder will not make them listen more. Accept that your partner has a different lived experience and it might be difficult for them to understand your perspective, keep an open mind on both sides,” she revealed some more great tips on handling arguments well.
“Remember that you’re both on the same team. Try not to assume that the other person had bad intentions (that doesn’t mean that their actions can’t have poor results). We usually make up after a fight by having a calm discussion where we listen to the other person, come to a resolution or agree to discuss it again at another time, and apologize,” she told Bored Panda.
Emergencies tend to reveal people’s priorities, but everyone makes mistakes and nobody is perfect
Image credits: Adrienn (not the actual photo)
The woman’s story had a very wholesome ending. Redditor u/PrettyHateMachinexxx shared that her grandmother was out of the intensive care unit and was stable. Meanwhile, the author of the post also revealed that she and her husband finally made up after their big fight. He sincerely apologized to her and admitted that he wished he’d done things differently.
“We had a long, but overall good discussion and hope that something like this doesn’t happen again,” she shared in an update with her readers on the AITA subreddit.
The OP touched on the importance of consistently open and honest communication in any long-term relationship. Practically any happy relationship is bound to be based on trust, respect, mutual attraction, transparency, and healthy boundaries. Part of this means finding ways to support your partner when times are exceptionally hard and celebrating their successes and achievements together with them when they’re on cloud nine.
Family members should stay in contact with each other during family emergencies. And even if someone’s unable to find ways to help, the least they can do is give everyone emotional support and help everyone stay calm, cool, and collected… as much as possible.
Emergencies aren’t something that can ever be planned in advance, so they can and will cut into your day, whether you’re simply going to work or going to a reunion that you’ve been looking forward to for ages. It’s moments like this when a loved one gets hurt or falls seriously ill, that really make you become aware of your priorities… and reevaluate them later.
Though it might have taken the husband a bit of time to get there, he ended up showing that family comes first. And that’s what’s important. Nobody’s perfect, we’re all human beings who make mistakes and grow as a result of them. It’s easy to judge someone else for their decisions, but we all know how messy life can get, and how many nuances there can be. It’s only later, with the help of hindsight, that we know how we would’ve liked to behave differently.
Happy and healthy relationships require mutual trust and respect
Image credits: Ekaterina Nt (not the actual photo)
In non-emergency situations, however, it’s essential for couples to find a balance between mutual support and finding time for themselves. Being a good partner and parent does not mean that your entire life consists only of chores, parenting, and going to work so you can pay the bills.
People are more complex than that and have a broader range of needs. They need to find the time to create, dance, meet up with friends, read a book with a good cup of tea, or take a long walk by the riverside without their smartphone that constantly demands their attention. Active and passive rest can recharge your batteries so that you’re at the top of your game when it comes to all of your (very important) responsibilities. It’s good to keep in mind that a desire to have (some) privacy isn’t a bad thing.
That’s why giving your partner some ‘time off’ (and carving out some date nights for the both of you) is so essential. However, this requires a good deal of mutual support. Both partners need to be very active when it comes to taking care of the kids and doing the housework, no matter if they’re both working or not.
Otherwise, one partner may end up taking on the lion’s share of the responsibilities. This can lead to a lot of simmering resentment and frustration. Especially if the partner does less around the house and then wants to have some time all to themselves. But if the couple contributes more or less equally and is happy with whatever arrangement they have, everything should be fine.
Though if things aren’t working out, then it’s best to have a friendly but frank conversation with your loved one about how you feel about the entire situation and how you’d like more of their support. It’s best to look for some sort of compromise while actively listening to each other’s positions and avoiding the temptation to attack them for their character and behavior. Try to stay on topic and tackle the issue at hand, instead of trying to manage the entire relationship’s worth of problems in one conversation. And don’t forget to acknowledge that you’re grateful when they shift gears for you.